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Llanelli Warriors Taith I Llundain Llanelli Warriors Taith i Llundain Guide to Llanelli Warriors Tour Party – Smallest winkies 1st! Simon Day Has had his teeth smashed out, recently hurt his shoulder, narrowly escaped the Bradford bashing and now has Richard Evans taking over in his house as No1 son and eating all his food - yet Daydream still loves the Warriors. Has a fantastic range of speeds, steps and fancy footwork that any wing needs - unfortunately we have only seen these when he is DJ Daze at the Warriors disco, running off in Bradford or on Samoan dance floors, if only he used them on the actual rugby field. Has somehow been chosen to lead us this weekend so look out for mass Michael Jackson impressions and some mad dressing up. Makes his 60th appearance on tour. Gwilym Lewis The Chief is the world’s best rugby player, most handsome man, cleverest Welshman all round good guy and a pathological liar. Jamie Evans See separate entry. Craig James Hot favorite to lose his phone/wallet/keys but won't be worried as Dan John is again on tour to bail him out. Recent suspicious change of facebook name. Nathan Murphy Tour ambition: complete tour without being forcibly attached to Craig. Though not as chaotic as the other side of the Warriors youngest comedy duo the Shed of Rock, Oliver can still manage to sleep in a posh fundraiser half way up a Samoan mountain and lose his phone. Recent Warriors results have improved since he hasn't been available so like George North may be on the bench this weekend. Liam Tobias Chip is now developing into a sophisticated young man (well prop) and has recently doubled the subjects he talks about, now it's Samson Lee and Neath (has he mentioned that he subs for them – let’s hope London girls are impressed by this). Don't let this new level of social integration fool you though - he is still Chip the Strip, most likely to wear his hat (and only his hat) on tour – TOUR DROP OUT – has been called up for Gog bashing by Neef. Daniel John A popular member of tour - well with Craig anyway, after they bonded on their bus tour of France earlier this season. CAWL GOOP Daniel James In contention for hairiest man on tour. Stay close to this man at the end of the night as his cousins is likely to give us discounts in the kebab shops, but he will be most likely following the local homeless woman home with a box of wing. Tour Virgin – TOUR DROPOUT Ben Griffiths Glory boy occasional Warrior. In his time on field he has played and scored at Cardiff Arms Park, re injured his shoulder, met Gareth Edwards, been featured on Scrum V, met Rick O'Shea, played at the launch of the Cardiff Chiefs team, faced Ryan Jones, played with Ryan Jones and had two trips to Cardiff. Total Warriors games: 1.5 Body of a gorilla, heat of a budgie. CAWL GOOP and tour virgin Lee Rowlands Lee comes on tour to Butler/Mother/see to the every whim of Huw Flash. Lee enjoys this as it gives him far more autonomy than at home under the regime of Empress Becca Coch, field Marshall Evie or even Sgt major Mali. May be in an extra good place this time as he is soon to set up a new team in work - expect to see Jamie and Dean making sure that Rowlands has a good time. Huw Jenkins AKA: Huw Hefner, Huw Bywd, Flash. The legend that is flash will again spend the tour eating, surrounding himself with chicks and being waited on hand and foot by Lee. Has technically played in Samoa. The original and possibly still the best “Can’t be Arsed With Local Stuff – Glory Opportunities Only Please” (CAWL GOOP) Huw has played only in Cardiff and on tour and again just done enough to earn a medal. Won’t be seen until presentation night now. Dean Chapman Rumour has it that Dean only agreed to tour once player numbers had reached two full teams and that he is more likely to accidently 'sprain' his ankle that play. Still he will have his work cut out butlering Jason Jenkins as 2 guns and his old bones take on the rugby fields and dance floors of London. Glad to have an excuse not to drink. Jason Jenkins AKA 2 guns, Like a fine wine or a mature cheese Jason is old. That won't stop the hooker & good looker yet again being party central, especially when he activates the biggest reformation this side of the Beatles getting back together, teams up with Colin Tacon and shows Nathan and Craig how it's really done, next stop - bare chest table top dancing for the chicks. After 2 matches this season may be a reformed CAWL GOOP but unlikely Colin Tacon The world's lightest prop and happiest man travels this weekend after almost having to be excavated from the Ferryside mud last week. Best roar in any Welsh front row. Richard Evans In recovery after recently being tackled by a pavement Hapus will get a break from captaincy this weekend and we will get a break from his speeches. Rich has been in fine form this season with a standout display for Burry Port against the Warriors and scoring a fine try for Ferryside against the Warriors. Most likely to find Ryan Jones to remind him of Rich 'smashing him' (is this where chip gets his idea that any tackle is a SMASH!!) in Newtown when playing for yet another team. Has managed to cuckoo his way into the Day’s home where he hopes Margaret will adopt him John Horwood Warriors legend...blah blah...260 matches...blah blah...new record...last of the originals...blah blah...Man of the match in Ferryside...Yellow bloody submarine...Much better to remember him being kicked out of the Phillamonic for stripping. Ieuan Davies El Presidente has now set his plans for the Warriors: tour London, invade Parliament, expand Wales into England, play home games at the Millenium stadium, build a car park on twickers, Warriors dominate Welsh rugby, Welsh rugby dominates world rugby, rugby becomes the new politics, Rich Hapus as leader of the new free world, have a quiet pint. Promised to take charge of 1st aid and water for the rest of the season before promptly missing the Ferryside game. Eifion Davies Possibly setting a new record as the oldest Warriors tour virgin Eif joins Ieuan and steps into Roy's shoes for the weekend - looking forward to him buying us all a new kit (or at least a drink). tour virgin Andrew ‘Bambi’ Davies With Ieuan with us on tour we may have the quieter Bambi - so just 72 hours of dancing, cwtching, singing, jumping about and shape throwing. For an interesting conversation when at a loss for things to do over the weekend, ask what his recent internet surfing has been like. Nathan Lawson Hot favourite to win quietist tourist for the 11th Warriors tour In succession. Captain of vices this season. Darren Pollitt Nearly wasn't available this weekend as Mam said he mustn't play without his gumshield, luckily Jon is on tour to be Mother for the weekend and make sure he doesn’t run out of nappies. Pretty Plooy is NOT related to any current Welsh internationals Jonathan Kearney Brought into the team so that someone is finally taller than Big Rhyd, Jon has returned to the team this season and been busy getting things ship shape and generally tidying up – but that’s enough about him looking after Polly. Needs to make sure Darren’s teeth all return to Wales saftley. tour virgin Adam Fussell Fussy is possibly the only Osprey on tour so most likely to try to make friends with Cai Griffiths although Rich Hapus make engage stalker mode and you never know when Ben Kitson might turn up for a photo. Started the season on a health kick with Other Adam that has seen him bulk up and add inches to his bicep, opps sorry belly. Has never ever played against Steff Evans or Josh Adams. Adam often tells us about his rugby prowess and skills, how he can break tackles and flaten opponents, the boys have been truly impressed as most haven’t, since their boyhoods, heard such fairytails. Worst Tattoos on tour Simon Jenkins Tarw has been told to be on best behavior this weekend and is expected to drink water between pints, hold hands crossing the road and head to bed by 9pm each night. Hopefully this tour will go better than Edinburgh and Bradford and also he'll keep is phone bill under the £1000s. Has been using the gym regularly with Chip- mainly to have a chat, but also to have a good rest before hitting the burger van again. Jordan Jones AKA Gringo. Abstinent for years but the Warriors tour to NZ persuaded him t drink which persuaded him to become very very abstinent again Tom Hall AKA The Tominator. Furnace's finest is signing up for tour in the hope of another free on tour haircut after his Samoan Mohawk impressed everyone at college presentation day. Having recently finding out Tom is a secret posh boy, eating pheasant and chilling in his mansion of an evening, we are hoping he doesn’t get dragged into the posh boys of London crowd forgetting his West Walian roots! Dai Haines Dai Nosaur is Lawson’s only rival for quietest tourist unless he spots any glass tables trying to break through our defence.
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