MIRACLE SCHOOL SONG (Part i) Take another picture of our angel from this angle over here Mirror ball! My daddy says I’m his special little guy And so you think you’re You can be all cynical Able to survive this mess by My mummy says I’m a miracle! She is clearly more emotionally developed than her peers But it’s a truth empirical The most common thing in life is life Being a prince or princess, There’s never been a miracle Hup two four free! You will soon see My daddy says I’m his special little guy! What a dear A miracle - There’s no escaping tragedy And yet I am a princess That’s right, honey, look at mummy (Part ii) Every single life (every brand new life) And even if you put in heaps of effort, Every new life You’re just wasting energy And I am a prince. Don’t put honey on your brother Every life I bring into this world. Is a miracle, miracle (miracle, miracle) Cos your life as you know it is Restores my faith in humankind Miracle! (Miracle!) Ancient history Mum says I’m an angel sent down from the sky Now smile for mummy smile for mother Each newborn life, a canvas yet unpainted. My mummy says I’m a miracle I have suffered in this gaol My daddy says I’m his special little soldier I think he blinked This still unbroken One look at my face and it’s plain to see. Have been trapped inside this No-one is as handsome, strong as me This uncorrupted mind. Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord Cage for ages, It’s true he indulges my tendency to bulge Well, take another It’s been clear there’s no peer for a miracle like me. This living ‘ell, Every life is unbelievably unlikely My mummy says I’m a miracle But if I try I can remember, But I’m his little soldier, hup two four free! Have you seen this school report? He got a c in his report The chances of existence - almost infinitely small That I’m as tiny and as shiny as a mirror ball Back before my life had ended, The most common thing in life is life, You can be all cynical Before my happy days were over, My mummy says I’m a miracle What? But it’s a truth empirical Before I first heard the One look at my face and it’s plain to see. And yet There’s never been a miracle Pealing of the bell. [Sfx school bell] Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord We’ll have to change his school, the teacher’s clearly falling Every single life (every brand new life) A miracle as miracle as It’s been clear there’s no peer for a miracle like me. short Every new life Like you I was curious, Is a miracle (miracle) My mummy says I’m a lousy little worm, So innocent, I asked a thousand questions, My daddy says I’m his special little soldier He’s just delightful A miracle! (Miracle!) My daddy says I’m a bore But unless you want to suffer, No one is as bold or tough as me My mummy says I’m a jumped-up little germ Listen up and I will teach you a thing or two Has my daddy told ya, one day when I’m older So hilarious and insightful, (Part iii) That kids like me should be against the law. I can be a soldier You listen here, my dear, you’ll be punished Might she be a little brighter than her class Oh, my undercarriage doesn’t feel quite normal My daddy says I should learn to shut my pie hole So severely if you And shoot you in the face! Oh yes she’s definitely advanced. My skin looks just revolting No-one likes a smart-mouthed girl like me Step out of line and if you cry it will be double, In this foul fluorescent light Mum says I’m a good case for population control You should stay out of trouble, One can hardly move for beauty and brilliance these days My mummy says I’m a miracle And this gown is nothing like Dad says I should watch more TV And remember to be extremely careful It seems that there are millions of these One look at my face and it’s plain to see. The semi-formal, semi-spanish gown Why? One-in-a-millions these days Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord I should be wearing in the semi-finals tonight Why? “Specialness” seems de-rigueur It’s been clear there’s no peer for a miracle like me. I should be dancing the tarentella qui mon fella Italiano Why? Why? Did you hear what he said? Above average is average, go figueur, My mummy says I’m a miracle Not dressed in hospital cotton Just you wait for phys-ed! Is it some modern miracle of calculus That I’m as tiny and as shiny as a mirror ball With an ouchy front-bottom That such frequent miracles don’t render each one You can be all cynical And this unmiraculous? But it’s a truth empirical There’s never been a miracle, Miracle My mummy says I’m a miracle A miracle as miracle as me. She’s a miracle (horrible) One look at my face and it’s plain to see. A miracle! (Smelly little) Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord Take another picture of our angel, she/he looks lovely in this The most beautiful miracle (the most horrible animal) It’s been clear there’s no peer for a miracle like me. light I have ever seen (I have ever seen) I know I oughtn’t say this but she/he is the cutest here am I My mummy says I’m a precious Barrelina right? I can’t find his frank and beans She has never seen a prettier Barrelina I think you’re right! She says if I’m keen I have to cut down on the cream Come here honey, next to mummy, Every life is unbelievably unlikely But I’m a Barrelina so give me more cake! Don’t put honey on your brother. Smile for mummy, smile for mother! My mummy says I’m a miracle I think she/he blinked. Well, take another. The chances of existence almost infinitely small Miracle! BRUCE WHEN I GROW UP REVOLTING CHILDREN A single slice When I grow up When I grow up. Never again will she get the best of me, We can s-p-el how we like! Or even two, Bruce I will be tall enough to reach the branches that I need to Never again will she take away my freedom, Might’ve been nice reach When I grow up And we won’t forget the day we fought If enough of us are wrong, wrong is right! But even you, Bruce To climb the trees you get to climb when you’re grown up. I will be brave enough to fight the creatures Have to admit That you have to fight For the right to be a little bit naughty! Everyone! N-o-r-t-y! Between you and it And when I grow up Beneath the bed each night to be a grown-up. There’s not a lot of difference in size. I will be smart enough to answer all the questions that you Never again will the chokey door slam, Coz we’re a little bit naughty! need to know When I grow up – Never again will I be bullied and He can’t (he can, Bruce!) The answers to before you’re grown up. When I grow up – Never again will I doubt it when So we gotta stay inside the line, He surely can’t (you are the man, Bruce!) When I grow up – He might explode And when I grow up When I grow up – My mummy says I’m a miracle, never again! But if we disobey at the same time (He’s quite elastic) I will eat sweets every day on the way to work Never again will be live behind bars, He’s going to blow, make him stop And I will go to bed late every night Just because you find that life’s not fair, it Never again now that we know we are, There is nothing that the Trunchbull can do! (He’s fantastic! Look at him go!) Doesn’t mean that you just have to grin and bear it Revolting children I can’t watch! And I will wake up when the sun comes up If you always take it on the chin and wear it, Living in revolting times. She can take her hammer and s-h-u And I will watch cartoons until my eyes go square Nothing will change. We sing revolting songs I think in effect Just because I find my-self in this story it Using . You didn’t think you could push us too far This must confirm, Bruce And I won’t care cos I’ll be all grown up. Doesn’t mean that everything is written for me We’ll be revolting children But there’s no going back now we What we all suspected If I think the ending is fixed already I might as well ‘Til our revolting’s done, You have a worm, Bruce When I grow up. Be saying I think that its ok and And we’ll have the Trunchbull bolting, R-e-v-o-l-t-i-n- Or maybe your largeness That’s not right. We’re revolting! – Revolting times Is like the tardis: When I grow up We’ll s-i-n-g Considerably roomier inside. I will be strong enough to carry all the heavy things you have We are revolting children - Songs to Living in revolting times. U-s-i-n-g He can’t (he can, Bruce!) Haul around with you when you’re a grown up. We sing revolting songs - Songs He surely can’t, (he surely can’t) Using revolting rhymes. We’ll be r-e-v-o-l-t-i-n-g You are the man, Bruce! When I grow up We’ll be revolting children It is 2 l 8 4 u we r e-volting! B-r-o-o-c-e I will be brave enough to fight the creatures ‘Til our revolting’s done, That you have to fight And we’ll have the Trunchbull bolting, We are revolting children Bruce! Beneath the bed each night to be a grown-up. We’re revolting! Living in revolting times. You’ll never again be subject to abuse We sing revolting songs For your immense caboose When I grow up We will become a screaming horde! Using revolting rhymes. She’ll call a truce, Bruce. I will have treats every day We’ll be revolting children With every swallow you are And I’ll play with things that mum Take out your hockey stick and use it as a sword! ‘Til our revolting’s done, Tightening the noose. Pretends that mums don’t think are fun. It is 2 l 8 4 u We never thought it was possible Never again will we be ignored But here it is coming true. And I will wake up when the sun comes up We are revolting children We can have our cake and eat it too And I will spend all day just lying in the sun We’ll find out where the chalk is stored Never again will And I won’t burn cos I’ll be all grown up. Living in revolting times. Bruce And draw rude pictures on the board She get the best of me The time has come to put that tumbly tum to use We sing revolting songs No excuse, Bruce It’s not insulting, we’re Whoah, oh, oh Let out your belt, I think you’ll want your trousers loose Using revolting rhymes. Ohhh, stuff it in! (Bruce!) Revolting! We’ll be revolting children You’re almost fin-ished! (Bruce!) ‘Til our revolting’s done, You’ll fit it in! It is 2-l-8-4-u we are revolting! Whatever you do just don’t give in! (Bruce!) Don’t let her win! Come on Bruce, be our hero, Cover yourself in chocolate glory!

Bruce! You’ll never again be subject to abuse For your immense caboose She’ll call a truce, Bruce Just one more bite and you’ll’ve Completely cooked ‘er goose We never thought it was possible But here it is coming true We can have our cake and eat it… Selected Lyrics from Ahh ahh ahh ahh …etc… Direction by Matthew Warchus Book by Music & Lyrics by