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thetartan.org @thetartan March 23, 2015 Volume 109, Issue 20 Carnegie Mellon’s student newspaper since 1906

Peduto talks plan for city with Senate Senate proposes to define student- faculty relations

Brian Walsh clearly defined what excep- Junior Staffwriter tional circumstances teach- ers should allow as a bare Since arriving at Carnegie minimum. Mellon, Nkindé Ambalo took To move the code from the political fast track in stu- being merely a written docu- dent government. Just a year ment to a breathing policy, after joining, the sophomore Ambalo enlisted the help of mechanical engineering ma- high-ranking administrators, jor has found himself the like Vice Provost for Educa- Academic Affairs Committee tion Amy Burkert. chair for Student Senate. “I asked Dr. Burkert and He has filled the shoes of faculty about the Academic last year’s chair, junior deci- Relationship Code,” Ambalo sion science major Julia Eddy, said on working with fac- inheriting the responsibility ulty. “And they said that they of the Academic Relationship wanted this to happen be- Code (ARC). cause faculty can find it hard The ARC is a proposed to trust students.” guideline for students and Ambalo stressed the im- teachers, intended to im- portance of these leaders’ prove student-faculty rela- support to institute wide- tionships. Ambalo has been spread changes to faculty pushing the ARC within the approaches. He cited the Academic Affairs Committee growing impatience fac- File Photo by Abhinav Gautam since he assumed office in ulty members have toward late August last year. the way students approach Brian Trimboli other, similar cities took mil- There are two reasons that conversation: “Some fac- Editor-in-Chief lions of dollars and spanned the committee has pushed to ulty members have had very years. “We’ve had all this op- complete the ARC, according bad experiences in the past. After a last minute cancel- portunity to do it. Someone to Ambalo. “Firstly, there are These are the things that lation the week before spring somewhere in the ‘70s tried a lot of issues teachers have fly around the water cooler. break, the mayor of Pittsburgh to. They called it the ‘spine with students not being up- They talk about students ly- Bill Peduto visited Carnegie line’ and then they just killed front with their coursework,” ing to get off work or make Mellon’s Student Senate last it, and no one’s done it again.” he said. “And secondly, in stu- up a test.” Thursday. Mayor Peduto, who Peduto echoed many of dent opinion, there is an am- In fact, these communica- gave only a few days notice the points he made last time biguity about teachers’ policy tion issues within the student for his visit to Margaret Mor- he visited Carnegie Mellon, on late work, excusable work body are the very reason Am- rison Hall’s Breed Hall for when he spoke to the Pitts- that should be clearly laid out balo chose to put the ARC at Senate’s weekly general body burgh Student Government in the syllabus.” the forefront of his agenda as meeting, spoke about a range Council about the future of Within the document, the chair. of topics relevant to students. the city. Peduto cited Carn- committee focused primarily Ambalo is most concerned He also took questions from egie Mellon president Richard on the academic handling of about the culture of silence senators and other students in Cyert for envisioning a future what they call “exceptional that he sees affecting the attendance. of Pittsburgh based on educa- circumstances.” Exceptional overall student body at Carn- Evan Wineland, junior in- tion and innovation, outside circumstances could include egie Mellon. Students are of- formation systems major and of its traditional steel mills family emergencies, inter- ten not comfortable enough chair of Student Senate, said and manufacturing core. views for the professional to speak up, Ambalo said. that he had been in touch Gilman emphasized the world, or school sporting From discussing possible im- with a member of Peduto’s importance of keeping young events that conflict with provements to the student staff before the meeting, and college graduates in Pitts- coursework. The committee body stress culture to mobi- had a long-running relation- burgh, saying, “we need to seeks to make professors and lizing city exploration with ship with Dan Gilman (HSS do more to let students know students more open to com- the Strip District crawl, and ’04), a Carnegie Mellon alum- A) what’s happening in the municating things like dead- now with the ARC, Student nus and city councilman for city and B) how to affordably line issues or makeup dates. Senate is moving forward Pittsburgh’s eighth district, and easily experience it and There has been very little with its goals to improve stu- who spoke to Senate with the achieve it. So they’ll be like legislation in the past that dent life. mayor. ‘Wow, I’d love to live in Law- File photo by Jonathan Leung Mayor Peduto began by Mayor Peduto spoke at Senate about public transportation and his plans renceville when I graduate, talking about public transpor- for improving it. that’s a pretty sweet neighbor- tation in Pittsburgh, which is hood,’ rather than like ‘Well, currently limited to buses and bold step,” Peduto said. “To- said. “Probably because I’m the only Lawrenceville I know a light rail system, commonly day we announced a plan doing research this summer is in New Jersey.’ ” known as “The T.” Earlier about what the next city is on transportation, so that’s The mayor also mentioned that day at the annual meet- going to be. It’s not the city something I’m really inter- the city’s nascent internship ing of the Pittsburgh Down- that David Lawrence saw, and ested in. So when he was program; beginning this sum- town Partnership, Peduto an- we’re not going to demolish a mentioning the rail coming mer, the city will be taking nounced a plan for reworking thing — in fact, we’re going to throughout the city and run- 100 interns across its depart- the streets in Downtown. The preserve parts of it. And we’re ning southwest, I think that’s ments, including “the police, $32 million plan, Envision going to create a complete a major key in promoting municipal investigations, Downtown, aims to make streets model for all of Down- people to go Downtown and planning, the Mayor’s office, streets downtown more aes- town, and then take it into travel through Pittsburgh. I engineering, [and] City Coun- thetically pleasing, less con- Oakland.” think eventually that would cil,” Peduto said. gested, and safer. Peduto said Penelope Ackerman, a allow students to get more en- Gilman and Peduto ended to Senate that he wants a sys- sophomore materials sci- gaged.” their visit on a bright note for tem of “complete streets” — ence and engineering major, When asked if the city had the city’s future. “My entire streets that are safe and effi- was particularly interested plans to significantly expand life, and I’m 50, I’ve never seen cient for pedestrians, drivers, in what the mayor had to say the T, Peduto said that it was the city grow,” Peduto said. bicyclists, and those taking about Pittsburgh’s roads: “I re- unlikely. “No — that’s the an- “And in the next 20 years, I public transportation. ally liked what he said about swer,” Peduto said, noting that want to see it grow by 20,000 “Today we announced a transportation,” Ackerman such infrastructure reform in [people].” Emily Giedzinski/Staff Artist A2 « thetartan.org/news The Tartan » March 23, 2015 feature photo news in brief Heinz alumnus identified as 9/11 victim Students smash car for Greek Sing charity The New York City medi- and programmer analyst in cal examiner’s office said last technology at the Fiduciary Thursday that it positively Trust Company International identified a 1997 Heinz Col- on the 97th floor of the south lege alumnus as a victim of tower. the Sept. 11, 2001 terrorist The office identified Yar- attack on the World Trade nell by retesting DNA sam- Center. ples that they had collected Matthew David Yarnell, in 2001 and 2002. 26, of Jersey City, N.J., was At the time of the attack, the 1,640th victim to be 2,753 people were reported identified by the examiner’s missing, and while more than office. half have been identified, He was vice president 1,113 people — or 40 percent Matt and Kim coming for Spring Carnival

Indie performers Matt identified the artist via their and Kim are this years’ own Facebook page with the Spring Carnival Concert same words circled in white. headliners. Along with Matt and Kim, Activities Board (AB) an- Philadelphia native RJD2 nounced the artists on March will perform. Matt and Kim 2 via a Spring Carnival Con- are set to release their latest cert crossword puzzle that album New Glow on April they had distributed across 7, with such singles as “Get social media platforms be- it” and “Hey Now.” They are fore the announcement. well-known for “Daylight” When they revealed the art- from 2008’s album Grand. ist, AB posted an updated Their most recent stu- crossword with the words dio album before their up- “Matt,” “and,” “Kim” circled coming album is 2012’s in yellow scattered through- Lightning. RJD2’s most re- out the puzzle. cent studio album More Is Members of The Cut Mag- Than Isn’t was released in azine on March 1 correctly 2013. CMU spinoff announces device at SXSW

A device developed at news release. The device the Robotics Institute made was created in Nourbakhsh’s its first appearance at the CREATE lab and is now mar- SXSW Interactive Festival in keted by spinoff Airviz, Inc. Austin,Texas. The release states that The device, Speck, will about 300 Specks are in use track the quality of air within in the Pittsburgh area. a person’s home by identify- The device has a screen ing the “level of fine particu- that shows the quality of air late matter suspended in the in the home, and records air,” according to a Carnegie data about the air over time Mellon news release. that can be uploaded to a It will identify exposure database. The Heinz Endow- to PM2.5, particles that can ment and Pittsburgh Foun- negatively affect the heart dation paid for 1,000 Specks and lungs. to be used in public libraries, “Sometimes you can see schools, and other groups in air pollution as a haze in the the Pittsburgh area, accord- distance, but in and around ing to the release. your home, it’s invisible,” said Illah Nourbakhsh, pro- Compiled by fessor of robotics, in the Braden Kelner

Weather Tuesday Wednesday Thursday

54° / 36° 64° / 50° 52° / 33°

Matthew Nielsen/Junior Photographer Last Wednesday, Alpha Phi hosted a car smash event on the Greek Quadrangle. Students could buy tickets to smash an old car with a sledgeham- mer. The proceeds went to the cancer charity Our Clubhouse. Top: First-year undeclared Dietrich student Cameron Dively takes a whack. Bottom: Friday Saturday Sunday First-year chemical engineering student Jean Haddad smashes the hood. Campus Crime & Incident Reports Suspicious Person tion Center (CIC). The man Theft of CMU EMS Theft, Drunkenness, Mar. 14, 2015 had not been invited and did Documents Underage Drinking not have a valid reason for Mar. 19, 2015 Mar. 20, 2015 A suspicious man was re- being there. A CIC employee 40° / 24° 41° / 25° 47° / 35° ported near Ellsworth Avenue notified police of his pres- EMS personnel were An intoxicated student Source: www.weather.com and Neville Street. The man ence. He was issued a defi- incapable of locating essential was caught stealing from En- was said to be black, approxi- ant trespass warning letter by documents in a Doherty Hall tropy+. The student was re- mately 6’0”, and 200 pounds. University Police. classroom. The documents portedly intoxicated, and was The police came after the contained tests, answer keys, found to be under the legal Corrections & Clarifications man, who was reported possi- and other confidential docu- drinking age. Medical person- bly attempting to assault and ments. After being unable to nel were brought to the scene If you would like to submit a correction or clarification, rob a student before he fled in Hay Bale Theft locate them anywhere, CMU to check the health of the stu- please email The Tartan at [email protected] or an unknown direction. Mar. 19, 2015 EMS reported the documents dent, who was later cited with [email protected] with your inquiry, as well as the stolen. retail theft, underage drink- 41 hay bales on Frew date of the issue and the name of the article. We will ing, and public drunkenness. Defiant Trespass Street, used by Carnegie Mel- print the correction or clarification in the next print lon’s Buggy teams, were re- Mar. 15, 2015 issue and publish it online. ported stolen. It is unknown A suspicious man was seen when exactly the hay bales Compiled by at the Collaborative Innova- were stolen. BRIAN WALSH Statistically 17.90 3.32 Speaking Percentage of students who voted in last year’s Student Government Percentage of graduate students elections. In 2013, 17 percent of all students voted. 2014’s voter rate was who voted in last year’s Student Government elections. In slightly up from the previous year. 2013, voter turnout for graduates was higher, with a 4.73 percent turnout. Voting for Carnegie Mellon’s student gov- ernment elections opens on March 26 at noon, and closes on Mach 31 at 6 p.m. After 57.50 the elections — and the Election Board’s subsequent ratification meeting — the Percentage of eligible Americans who voted in the 2012 presidential student body will have a new president, vice 32.21 election. president, vice president for finance, vice Percentage of undergraduate students who voted in last year’s president for organizations, and Student Student Government elections. In 2013, 29.91 percent voted, a Senate. percentage lower than last year’s turnout.

In past years, turnout for Student Govern- Sources: Elect@CMU, Center for the Compiled by ment elections has been sparse. Study of the American Electorate Brian Trimboli March 23, 2015 « The Tartan thetartan.org/news » A3 SBP/SBVP candidates Divya and Mark JR and Jibby Braden kelner Justin McGown Contributing Editor Contributing Editor

Junior electrical and com- Junior policy and man- puter engineering major Di- agement and Chinese stud- vya Kothandapani is running ies double major JR Marshall for Student Body President is running for Student Body with third year Ph.D. can- President (SBP) with run- didate in mechanical engi- ning mate Jibby Ayo-Ani, a neering Mark Whiting as her junior information systems Student Body Vice President major who hopes to become running mate. the Student Body Vice Presi- Kothandapani and Whit- dent. They are running on a ing are running on a platform platform focused on creating of creating more transparency a more inclusive campus cul- between administration and ture to represent all 13,000 the student body, connecting students on campus, and help students across majors, years, set the school on the path and clubs, and improving the to being widely considered student experience. equal to other large name uni- The pair proposes to in- versities both inside and out- crease transparency between side of the Ivy League. administrators and the stu- Abhinav Gautam/Photo Editor “Our platform is also long dent body by instituting term and short term. We be- newsletters from Carnegie lieve the university is at ... a Justin McGown/Contributing Editor Mellon governing bodies il- Fun Facts: turning point in its history,” lustrating such things as ren- Kothandapani owns a farm in India with over 1,200 coconut Marshall said. “It could be- ovations, tuition increases, trees. Fresh coconut water is her favorite drink. come a household name. This Fun Facts: and transportation options. is a focal year — this is a year Ayo-Ani used to be on a National Champion jump rope team, They also plan to publicize Whiting has traveled to more countries than years the average where Student Government and will be offering a StuCo on it in the future. initiatives frequently and Carnegie Mellon student has lived. He was born in France, but and the student body are go- provide listening opportuni- is Australian. However, he has lived in Korea longer than France ing to determine if we get on Marshall is a lifelong Pittsburgh Pirates fan and secretly a tap ties through resources like or Australia. that path.” dancer. surveys, town halls, and indi- “We really centered our vidual conversations. platform around where we To increase connections committees to be focused on mentor. She is a member of believe this campus can go,” tion, as well as mental health and can’t do. between students and im- both the undergraduate and the CIT Community Building Ayo-Ani said of their goals. awareness and measures to Ayo-Ani’s experience prove school spirit, the pair graduate experience. Committee. “We really want to provide a combat sexual assault and re- stems from being both a resi- proposes improved phone “We represent the two Whiting is the Gradu- very deliverable platform.” lationship violence. dent assistant and a member apps and digital calendars for largest groups on campus: un- ate Student Assembly’s vice Based on the phrase “Re- Marshall led the founding of the Delta Gamma sorority, campus events. They also sug- dergraduates and graduates,” president for finance and the orient, Empower, Serve,” of Carnegie Mellon’s Phi Delta serving as the vice president gest more activities to bring Kothandapani said. “With the chief financial officer for the their goals include creating Theta fraternity and served as of the Pan-Hellenic council. together the entire campus varying range of needs and National Association of Grad- a “Reorientation Day” where president, which he says has She said “I’ve been practicing community and more ways concerns from the graduate uate and Professional Stu- students would take a day given him leadership experi- [listening to students] for the for graduate students and population, it is difficult to dents. He was previously an off from classes toward the ence: “I worked with a bevy past two years.” undergraduates to have the truly understand the gradu- officer in the Explorers Club middle of the semester. The of people, students, advisors, When asked why they felt same opportunities for cam- ate perspective unless you are and an executive consultant day would be used to pro- professors, and some mem- they should run, Marshall pus activities. a graduate student yourself. for Public Communication for mote mindfulness and allow bers of the larger Pittsburgh said, “For me, it was a culmi- To improve the student As a [graduate student], Mark Researchers. students to reflect on their community. And I was able to nation of two and a half years experience and make cam- will properly advocate on be- “We also both have exten- time at the school. Other key get a real sense for the pulse of Carnegie Mellon, of being pus safer, Kothandapani and half of this group.” sive background and knowl- planks of their platform in- of the campus. Every college somebody who is a multidis- Whiting, among a number Kothandapani is cur- edge about campus finances clude an increase in the fre- is represented in my frater- ciplinary student…. I’m really of initiatives, want to begin rently the student body vice and operations at both the quency of the school’s shut- nity — international students invested in this community recognizing non-academic president for finance and undergrad and grad levels,” tles and more routes taking from all over the world. I think and it would be a great omis- achievements, streamlining contributes to the current Kothandapani said. “Under- students to more regions of that’s the most important por- sion to not put myself forward student organization and student body president’s ad- standing how CMU’s finances the city. tion of leadership.” to make this happen.” activities processes, and pro- visory council and board of work, where money can be They also want to expand He has also served as chief “This university has given viding more ways for college directors. pulled from, and how to best the number of businesses that of staff for the SBP for the past us the world and we intend to spirit to permeate across the She was previously chair of request funding resources accept DineX, and emphasize two years, which he says has do nothing less than give back student body. Senate’s business affairs com- puts us at an incredible the need for more collabora- given him first hand knowl- to this community,” Ayo-Ani They also want all major mittee, and is a Mudge House advantage.” tion and student representa- edge of what the position can added. Evan and Connie Saif and Ben Braden kelner JUSTIN MCGOWN Contributing Editor Contributing Editor

Junior information sys- Senior statistics and eco- tems major Evan Wineland nomics double major Saif is running for Student Body Jedidi is running for Student President with sophomore Body President (SBP) with math major Connie Yang as sophomore computer science his Student Body Vice Presi- major Ben Debebe as the tick- dent running mate. et’s Student Body Vice Presi- The pair is running on a dent (SBVP) candidate. They platform of raising student are running on a platform of wages, improving student- “Decimating Opposition,” faculty connections, and pro- which parodies Evan Wine- viding more opportunities to land and Connie Yang’s cam- experience Pittsburgh. paign. Wineland and Yang’s Wineland and Yang pro- slogan is “Breaking Barriers.” pose to increase the current According to the pair’s campus minimum wage from website, which is stylistically Courtesy of Saif Jedidi and Ben Debebe $7.25 per hour to $11 per hour almost identical to Wineland by 2020, citing current hourly and Yang’s, the opposition rates of $12 at Yale University, that Jedidi and Debebe in- Fun Fact: $13.25 at Stanford Univer- tend to decimate comes from Jedidi and Debebe have the exact same cadence and number sity, and $10 at Harvard Uni- wild life, student-faculty con- of syllables in their names, so they’re easy to beatbox together, versity, among others. They nections, and corruption. Ac- like in the recording on their website. argue that raising the wage cording to their website, they will allow students to work Braden Kelner/Contributing Editor hope to hire 38 poachers to fewer hours to become more protect students from campus with teachers in a social set- graduate or undergraduate involved elsewhere. wildlife, create a program for ting — getting lunches, meet- student currently enrolled at They also propose institut- Fun Fact: students and faculty to have ing at events — I think that Carnegie Mellon to run for ing student-faculty lunch pro- Wineland has been to the Middle East twice this year, most lunch, and make it easier for would contribute to breaking elected positions. Jedidi’s grams, in which students can recently on the IMPAQT Spring Break trip to the CMUQ campus students to bribe professors down some of those barriers.” senior status, as well as the engage with faculty outside in Doha, Qatar. and administrators. Debebe indicated that stu- campaign website, have led of the classroom. They hope When asked what sets dent safety — and not just to speculation that their cam- to connect students better to Yang likes webpage and app development, math competitions, them apart, Jedidi said via from bears — is at the mo- paign is not a serious one. the faculty who teach them and did seven years of Tae Kwon Do before coming to email, “I am by far the most ment a major issue: “I don’t Their platform promotes by following models similar Carnegie Mellon. qualified candidate for this think a lot of students feel poaching and bribery, and to those offered at Dartmouth position. For one, I am a safe on campus. You hear a lot their campaign staff includes College and Duke University. graduating senior, whereas of things about sexual assault such members as Helga G. Finally, they are pushing in the debates last Friday, our ell Putnam Mathematical the other candidates are all and suicide, and I think in Pataki from the cartoon Hey to give students more access platform stood out as the only Competition, CMU in Haiti, juniors or younger. Vis-à-vis, general people in Pittsburgh Arnold!, Al Gore, and “All Sea to Pittsburgh with proposed one with clear ideas and con- and Kappa Alpha Theta. She furthermore, concordantly, I don’t feel safe. Saif and I are Creatures.” events like a Craig Street crete plans for execution.” is also a GroupX instructor, am older than them.” people who can really make Jedidi emphasized being a Crawl, similar to the first Sen- Wineland is currently the chair of the university’s Proud “I think we care about how students feel safe.” senior in an email when asked ate Strip District Crawl at the chair of Student Senate and to be Plaid committee, and students feel,” Debebe said. He also believes that one of what sets him apart from oth- start of the school year, as a resident assistant in West a webpage designer for the “We’re not looking to make the largest issues with the cur- er candidates: “I would just well as routine discounts at Wing. He is involved with Econobite project. monumental changes in the rent Student Government is a like to emphasize again that various businesses for Carn- the Student Government “My experience in Senate Student Government. We’re lack of transparency and ac- my experience extends all the egie Mellon Students. Executive Committee, the and in [Student Government] looking to look out for our fel- cessibility for students: “I for way to my senior year of col- “We are the only ticket that President’s Student Advisory was perfectly complemented low students.” one don’t really know about lege,” he wrote. “I am essen- can claim that it has made tan- Council, and Highland Am- by [Connie’s] background Debebe made an earnest what happens on a case-by- tially done with my degree at gible progress on every single bassadors. He is also a mem- working in the current Stu- case for the platform, saying case basis. If I got into office, this point, and will be leaving item in our platform,” Wine- ber of the Survivor Support dent Body President’s cabi- that one of the largest barriers addressing that would be CMU in just a few months to land said via email. “Connie Network and a brother of net,” Wineland said in the on campus is the connection something at the forefront of become a real person, where- and I have been meeting with Sigma Phi Epsilon. email. “Having very different between students and faculty: my agenda.” as all the other candidates students, Warner Hall admin- Yang is involved in the extra-curricular backgrounds “At the moment, it’s very diffi- While it is unclear what will still be students next year. istrators, and city officials current SBP’s cabinet, the means we’ve connected with cult to reach out on a personal will happen if a graduating Does CMU really want some- about our ideas since Janu- CMU math team, Women in a wide diversity of students level. If we could give stu- senior is elected, the cur- one who is still a student to be ary.... We were pleased that Science, the William Low- on campus.” dents a means of meeting up rent election rules allow any the Student Body President?” A4 « thetartan.org/news The Tartan » March 23, 2015 SBVPO candidates Trevor Hadick Ryan LaPré

Jessica Tsai/Staff Photographer Jessica Tsai/Staff Photographer

Jessica Tsai Jessica Tsai Junior Staffwriter Fun Fact: Junior Staffwriter Fun Facts: Hadick once ran his own photography business. He kept it LaPré has never lost a game of Monopoly. Trevor Hadick, a sopho- for a year, but it didn’t work out that well. Ryan LaPré, a sophomore more chemical engineering math and economics double and engineering and public major, is running for Student increased communication LaPré said. “Every year we are policy double major, is run- cus on allocating student or- a difference,” Hadick said of Body Vice President for Orga- throughout the year — keep not coming back to the same ning for Student Body Vice ganization space through the himself. nizations (SBVPO). open minds of communica- questions, which makes it a President for Organizations University Center Allocation He is currently part of the In his platform, he focuses tion so that if groups run into little unfair for them.” (SBVPO) on a platform of in- Board (UCAB), noting that is student body president’s cabi- on increasing the SBVPO’s trouble at any point of the Young organizations must creasing student involvement is important for the space to net, as well as the treasurer for contact and support for or- year, we can help them out go through a process with through open communica- be divided fairly in the best the men’s club soccer team. ganizations, as well as im- [with] the support of Student Student Government to be- tion. Hadick ran for the posi- interest of all organizations. He is also part of the College proving the culture within Government.” come recognized by the body tion last year as well. UCAB makes decisions every of Engineering Community student organizations at the According to LaPré, an- and receive Joint Funding “Some of the things I want- other year as to which student Building Committee (CBC). university. other problem is the lack of Committee money. ed to fix last year still haven’t organizations will gain access He noted that a success- LaPré said that, if elected, record keeping for different LaPré said that being on been fixed, so those things go to student space, primarily on ful SBVPO would need to be he would first build a strong organizations. In the CoSo CoSo has prepared him for be- on to my agenda first,” Hadick the third floor of the Jared L. openly communicative with relationship with the Com- process, there are not a lot of ing SBVPO: “Having someone said. “The number of students Cohon University Center. others and willing to take mittee on Student Organiza- organization records being [from CoSo] in the VPO posi- who are involved is very low. Hadick said he under- criticism. tions (CoSo) and focus on the kept. tion can keep the strong bond It was my [agenda] last year stands the difficulty of becom- He said it is important recognition process for young If elected, LaPré plans between members while also and will continue to be on ing recognized as a student to have “the ability to make organizations. to “increase the amount of making them very effective [it].” organization as well, saying in tough decisions for the best “I would look at increas- knowledge the [SBVPO] for student organizations as Hadick also plans to his platform that the current of this school. Since it is [a ing communication and a keeps.” much as we can.” change the way organizations process keeps “many great UCAB] year, as a group we strong communication between “I would like to create a LaPré is also Chair of the reserve rooms. Currently, organizations on campus will make tough decisions.” organizations,” LaPré said. system where [the SBVPO] Internal Development Com- organizations book rooms from finishing the application Hadick stressed the need “Usually, members will go can keep the information mittee of Student Senate, a through a website called process.” to talk to organizations dur- through committee meetings of what groups are recog- member of Scotch ‘n’ Soda 25Live. He thinks “it is a hor- “I know how difficult it ing the UCAB process to make and go to organization meet- nized as, and when and what Theatre, and a member of the rible system that makes plan- is and I think having gone sure they understand the de- ings and check in with ... ad- kinds of questions do we ask Spring Carnival Committee. ning events harder.” through [organization pro- cisions that the body makes ministrators, but the contact throughout the year in the He has also fenced with the He also said that he will fo- cesses] makes that much of regarding space access. tapers off. I would like to have young recognition process,” Club Fencing team. SBVPF candidate Benjamin Zhang Brian trimboli Editor-in-Chief Fun Fact: Zhang grew up in Canada and is an avid hockey fan. Junior math major Benja- min Zhang is running unop- posed for Student Body Vice financial information pertain- confused by how JFC allocates President for Finance (SBVPF). ing to how money is spent,” money, and how we come up Zhang’s platform empha- Zhang wrote in his platform. with our metrics,” Zhang said sizes fiscal transparency and “Students should be informed on Wednesday. “One of my an improved Joint Funding about where their money goes goals is to host an open met- Committee (JFC) allocation to, whether it’s the student ac- rics meeting, in which stu- process. tivities fee or tuition dollars.” dents can propose their own Zhang has experience in Zhang said during last metrics.” student government; he cur- Wednesday’s debate that fiscal This metric, Zhang wrote rently serves in Student Sen- transparency should not apply in his platform, “will allow the ate for the Mellon College of to just student government. JFC to make more informed Science and sits on the body’s He promises to work with decisions to create allocations Finance Committee, which the university, as well as other that better serve the needs of metes out Senate’s special al- organizations that parcel out student organizations.” location fund. Zhang is also money, such as the Student Zhang, according to his a member of the JFC, which Dormitory Council (SDC), to platform, is currently work- is overseen by the SBVPF make fiscal information more ing on an initiative in Senate and allocates funding gener- readily accessible for campus to index all funding sources at ated by the Student Activi- members. Carnegie Mellon that students ties Fee to over 200 campus Zhang is also placing a fo- and organizations can access. organizations. cus on making the JFC funding Outside of Student Senate, “One of my initiatives as system more clear and giving Zhang does research for the SBVPF would be to increase student organization leaders Statistics Department and is a fiscal transparency at all lev- a more prominent voice in the brother of Delta Tau Delta, as els, including working with process. well as a member of the Spring the university to release more “A lot of organizations are Carnival Committee. Abhinav Gautam/Photo Editor March 23, 2015 « The Tartan thetartan.org/scitech » A5

Dwarf Galaxies provide original insight into dark matter Josh Brown matter interactions is of great Staffwriter importance in the realm of physics because it reinforces Recent research by Matt the theory that dark matter Walker, a professor of physics has a particle nature. This the- at Carnegie Mellon, and Alex ory suggests that dark matter Geringer-Sameth, a post-doc- may behave at least vaguely torate physics student at Carn- like normal matter, and there- egie Mellon, in collaboration fore may be more readily re- with Savvas Koushiappas, an searchable. “Over the past assistant professor of phys- few decades,” says Geringer- ics at Brown University, and Sameth, “people have come to a team of cosmologists from realize that the vast majority the University of Cambridge, of matter in the universe — may lay down the groundwork [dark matter] — exists outside for understanding one of the the standard model for par- universe’s greatest mysteries: ticle physics. There is a huge dark matter. quest to figure out the particle Not much is known about nature of dark matter.” dark matter. It is said to com- The fundamental goals of prise about 80 percent of the physics are to explain mat- matter in the universe and ter and its interactions at the cannot be seen using any cur- most basic level. “There is rent technology. All of dark only so much about the micro- matter’s properties have been scopic nature of dark matter inferred based on its gravi- that can be observed through tational interactions, such as gravitational interactions,” causing the rotation of galax- says Geringer-Sameth. “The Courtesey of Matt Walker and Alex Geringer-Sameth ies and the expansion of the Matt Walker and Alex Geringer-Sameth along with a team of researchers is studying dwarf galaxies to gain a better understanding of dark matter. standard model of physics universe. In short, dark matter explains everything with re- is a hypothetical type of mat- yond its gravitational proper- explaining dark matter’s par- teractions is enough to keep I’ve been working on ways to markable precision, with the ter that is thought to explain ties. The implications of this ticle interactions, it is a large research teams invested. do this kind of dark matter notable exception of most of some of the universe’s un- are widespread for cosmolo- assumption to say that this is “Dwarf galaxies are like big search … it’s just that there’s the matter in the universe.” explained phenomena. Dark gists and may open new doors the most likely scenario. In clumps of dark matter,” says a limited number of dwarf The mystery of dark matter is matter is thought to exist out- in the search for dark matter. fact, both NASA and the Cam- Geringer-Sameth, “they’re galaxies.” Using publicly avail- one that stands as a holy grail, side the realm of conventional Current theories suggest bridge group performed their very clean systems.” Dwarf able data from NASA’s Fermi of sorts — it seems to be the physics, meaning it is thought that when two particles of own analyses of the data and galaxies are the best systems telescope, which detects gam- only substance that defies the to be something other than dark matter collide, they pro- found nothing of any signifi- for examining dark matter, ma rays, the team explored laws of conventional physics. standard matter. The team’s duce normal particles and cance. There is a very large so when researchers at Cam- the gamma ray emission from By making discoveries such research suggests that dark gamma radiation, or high margin of error in analysis of bridge University discovered the coordinates of the newly as this, physicists come incre- matter may have a “particle energy electromagnetic parti- deep space phenomena, but nine new dwarf galaxies, the discovered dwarves. mentally closer to understand- nature,” which would make cles. While these gamma rays even the possibility of dark research team pounced on the The possibility of gamma ing the entirety of the known dark matter researchable be- are consistent with theories matter displaying particle in- data. “For the past few years, radiation caused by dark universe. How things work CMU, Pitt, and UPMC create Email uses complex system Pittsburgh Health Data Alliance shaojie bai was sent by a man named Ray course, we need an email cli- Staffwriter Tomlinson on the Advanced ent, or what we call an email Research Projects Agency “service provider.” Some Email: it is something Network (ARPANET). Tom- clients are stand-alone, like you use everyday. Marked by linson’s breakthrough lead to Microsoft Outlook, which is the well-known “@” symbol the ability to send messages offered in Windows OS; other and sent and received in- to other machine users via common ones, like Hotmail stantaneously, it costs virtu- and Gmail, are based on web- ally nothing for a person in Electronic mail, pages. But whichever you use, an apartment in Hong Kong the client is the “interface” to send his best wishes to his termed email, that displays directly to the friend in New York. Email users and allows them to read may not seem cool in the was at first only messages in their inbox. modern world, where it has a message that Next, we need a email become second nature, but it server that the client is con- has changed how the world one user sent nected to. Servers are soft- communicates since its cre- to another on a ware applications run on ation in 1971. Email is some- the Internet, and they listen thing that is often misunder- single machine. to specific ports that people stood. Behind the scenes, it is and programs will attach to. certainly not as simple as the the Internet by addressing These Internet servers usually Courtesey of Flickr Creative Commons “write, save, send, receive” the destination using the @ have a long list of user email process we know. symbol, a convention we still accounts; for instance, our Raghunandan avula University of Pittsburgh, and tween doctors and computer Electronic mail, termed follow today. Over the past 40 Andrew IDs, which are reg- Staffwriter the University of Pittsburgh scientists. Working together, email, was at first only a mes- years, email has evolved just istered at domain “andrew. Medical Center (UPMC) re- they hope to develop novel sage that one user sent to like other computer systems: cmu.edu”. Then, if a person Healthcare as we know cently announced a partner- ways to utilize the plethora of another on a single machine; It now has sender and receiv- wants to send a second per- it is about to change. The in- ship to combine their exper- medical data to both combat in the past, a computer used er information, a subject line, son a message, the first per- corporation of computer tech- tise and resources in order illnesses and personalize med- to be a giant machine that a message body, attachments, son’s email client essentially nologies into medical care is lead this transformation in icine. The partnership will in- people used dial-up terminals and it enables users to save a passes to the server the name fueling a revolution in the de- healthcare. clude two new research and to access. It wasn’t until 1971 draft at any time. velopment of modern medical This alliance will foster that the first modern email To read and write email, of See EMAIL, A6 tools. Carnegie Mellon, the unique collaborations be- See HEALTH, A6 scitech briefs New Alzheimer’s Crocodile ancestor Stars forming New 3-D printer Mushrooms found Solar eclipse drug slows was top predator in dust cloud in inspired by to glow in order to witnessed by cognitive decline before dinosaurs nearby galaxy Terminator 2 attract insects millions in the UK

A new, experimental drug A newly discovered croco- An international team of A new 3-D printing tech- The luminous fungus Neo- This past Friday, millions developed by Biogen Indec dilian ancestor, Carnufex caro- researchers have discovered nique works 100 times faster nothopanus gardneri, which of people across the United sharply slowed decline in linensis, is believed to have that over one million stars are than conventional 3-D print- grows at the base of palm Kingdom and Northern Eu- cognitive function in a small, been North America’s top forming in a dust cloud bur- ers by lifting objects out of a trees in Brazilian forests, lights rope witnessed a solar eclipse, clinical trial of Alzheimer’s predator before dinosaurs ar- ied within a supernebula in a pool of resin. up to attract insects that will which occurs when the moon patients. The drug, called rived on the continent. dwarf galaxy known as NGC The technique was derived spread its spores, according to comes between the Earth and aducanumab or BIIB037, is de- Carnufex was a 9-foot long, 5253, in the constellation Cen- from a scene in Terminator a recent study. the sun. BBC footage revealed signed to rid the brain of amy- land-dwelling crocodylo- taurus. The dust surrounding 2, in which the T-1000 ro- To find the reason for the interesting features regard- loid plaque, which is widely morph that walked on its hind these stars is approximately bot rises from a pot of mol- glow, scientists placed mush- ing the eclipse, namely a clear believed to be the cause of legs, preying upon armored 15,000 times larger than the ten metal. The idea was to room decoys at tree bases and view of “Baily’s beads,” the dementia in Alzheimer’s pa- reptiles and early mammal mass of our sun, and is around have “an object rise out of a lit some of the decoys with light at the edge of the Moon. tients. relatives. 3 million years old — rela- puddle in real time with es- green LEDs to mimic the real In all parts of the UK, the The trial consisted of 166 Paleontologists from North tively young in astronomical sentially no waste,” explained mushroom’s bioluminescence- eclipse reached 83 percent, patients randomly assigned Carolina State University and terms. Joseph DeSimone, a professor while leaving the others with- with the darkness peaking at to get either the drug or a pla- the North Carolina Museum “I’ve been searching for of chemistry at University of out LEDs. about 09:35 GMT. The period cebo; the drug not only slowed of Natural Sciences recov- the gas cloud that is forming North Carolina and a founder After five nights, the sci- of greatest darkness lasted cognitive decline but also sub- ered parts of Carnufex’s skull, the supernebula and its star of the company Carbon3D. entists found the luminescent nearly three minutes and oc- stantially reduced plaque in spine, and upper forelimb cluster for years. Now we have The technique, called Con- decoys had more insects. They curred over a spot in the Nor- the brain. Higher doses were from the Pekin Formation in detected it,” said Jean Turner, tinuous Liquid Interface Pro- collected 12 insects from the wegian Sea at 09:46 GMT. more effective than lower Chatham County, North Caro- a professor of physics and as- duction (CLIP), uses a moving dark mushrooms and 42 in- Researchers at the National doses. lina. A complete image of the tronomy in the University of platform to lift printed objects sects from the glowing ones, Eclipse Weather Experiment The results were presented skull was produced using a California, Los Angeles Col- out of a reservoir of liquid concluding that the purpose of asked the public to record in Nice, France, at the Interna- high-resolution surface scan- lege and lead author of the resin. the glow was to attract insects. weather conditions during the tional Conference on Alzheim- ner after scanning the pieces. research. The technique combines It was also determined eclipse in order to improve fu- er’s and Parkinson’s Diseases A paper entitled “Early The research was part of pulses of light, solidifying the that the mushrooms follow a ture weather forecasting. The and Related Neurological Dis- crocodylomorph increases top the Submillimeter Array proj- resin, and oxygen, which pre- rhythm, which allows them to UK will not experience a so- orders. Biogen hopes to begin tier predator diversity during ect, and was published last vents parts of the resin from only light up at night. lar eclipse of this magnitude larger trials sometime this rise of dinosaurs” was pub- Thursday in the journal Na- solidifying, to craft intricate The study was published again until 2026. year. lished in Scientific Reports. ture. three-dimensional objects. online in Current Biology. Source: The BBC Compiled By Source: New York Times Source: Science Daily Source: Science Daily Source: The Guardian Source: Science Mag Julia Napolitano A6 « thetartan.org/scitech The Tartan » March 23, 2015

PUGWASH Column Vanuatu deaths raise questions about moral responsibility produce and restricting the thermostat use of households and buildings on a global scale. The problem with this solution is deciding who will Kathryn McKeough be part of this community and how they can enforce the legis- Staffwriter lation. It is extremely difficult Last week Pam, a category to create an effective interna- five cyclone, hit the Pacific tional society that includes islands of Vanuatu. The dev- members representative of the astating storm has been re- world population, and ensure ported to have killed at least that all people participate and 24 people and has left over abide by the rules it sets. 70 percent of the population Finally, Pugwash discussed homeless. The Vanuatu presi- whether every individual felt a dent and Australia’s Climate moral obligation to aid in cli- Council are convinced this was mate change. It is difficult for not simply a freak storm. Due an individual to hold respon- to climate change, the sea lev- sibility for climate change, els around Vanuatu have in- because any positive or nega- creased by 20 centimeters and tive action they make will not the temperatures have risen create a tangible impact on slightly. Warmer temperatures the environment. However, cause bigger cyclones, and if hundreds or thousands of higher sea levels mean more people make the same deci- water can be tossed around by sion, the effects will begin to the storm. Many attribute this become noticeable. Pugwash storm to the increased carbon believes that individuals could choose to help the environ- emissions that caused global Maegha Singh/Staff Artist climate change. ment if they are educated and Vanuatu is a tiny, undevel- The immediate reaction is to can also be responsible for car- of carbon emissions they pro- the past on those today would feel a moral obligation. Unfor- oped country. They contribute charge entire countries, yet bon emissions. For example, duce. However, the United be counterproductive to solv- tunately, only one or neither little to carbon emissions and this might not be totally fair. air travel uses hundreds of gal- States has produced more ing the problem. Just because of these conditions is met for other pollution, especially There are many groups and lons of fossil fuel per person total carbon emissions in the other countries haven’t had as most people. It appears the compared to countries like companies within these large per flight. Individuals can cer- long run. It is easy to say that much time to develop as the only solution is to find a way to the United States and China. countries that make an effort tainly be penalized for excess the United States contributed U.S. does not mean that they incentivize people to cut back Despite this, the islands of to reduce their detrimental pollution or else be required to more to climate change, but it should be excused. on their pollution. Vanuatu and countries like effects on the environment. cut back on their carbon foot- is difficult to make the people One Pugwash member If we continue behaving as them suffer more from climate On the other hand, certain in- print. This suggests that blam- today pay for what has been proposed the creation of an we do now, life on Earth will change than large, first world dustrial and government proj- ing an entire country might done in the past. international committee of rapidly become unsustainable. power houses do. Should ects produce a lot of pollution. not be the most effective way Some Pugwash members governments and companies Even if we feel no moral obli- more developed countries, Toyota, for example, admits to distribute the blame. stated that the U.S. does hold to regulate the effect humans gation to it, changing how hu- who contribute the most to that its hybrid cars require a Even if we can restrict the responsibility for its actions have on the environment. mans live is necessary for our environmental changes, take lot of energy and produce a blame to a specific group of in the past. The U.S., for ex- Regulation could include own survival. responsibility for the damage lot of carbon emissions dur- people today, should they be ample, paid reparations to taxation on any production Regardless of whether they cause to our planet? ing production and that the held responsible for the past? Native Americans, a group of or shipments that have harm- or not we are able to decide The first step is to decide lithium ion batteries produce Two years ago China sur- people severely persecuted in ful effects to the environment, who is responsible, everyone who exactly should be held re- an excessive amount of sulfur passed the United States for the past. Others believed that regulating the amount of car- should be aware of how their sponsible for climate change. dioxide emissions. Individuals the first time in the amount placing the responsibility of bon emissions companies can actions affect the world. How things work Pittsburgh Health Data Alliance Email aids communication merges technology and health HEALTH, from A5 but even faster and for larger ing in a variety of fields relat- through elaborate system groups of people. The future ed to medicine. One project development centers funded will be to use machine learn- focused on human genomic by UPMC with $10 million to ing and artificial intelligence data by identifying variations $20 million per year over the to make decisions. This center in DNA that place individuals next six years. The Center for aims to lay the groundwork to at a high risk for a given dis- Commercial Applications of develop these new technolo- ease. Healthcare Data (CCA) will gies.” So far this approach has be based at the University of As professor of machine been done in a weak statisti- Pittsburgh and lead by Mi- learning, Xing has seen first- cal fashion unable to accu- chael Becich M.D., Ph.D from hand the advancements in the rately identify the interac- the Department of Biomedi- past decade that now enable tions between variations. In cal Informatics. Carnegie computers to make inferences reality it is the combination Mellon will be home to the based on available data. Pre- of these variations that is ire- Center for Machine Learning viously, computer science has sponsible for some complex and Health led by founding primarily been used to de- diseases. “Using machine director Eric Xing Ph.D, a pro- velop operating systems and learning we can build mod- fessor of the Machine Learn- store data. “The maturity of els using big genome data ing Department. Researchers the discipline has led to suc- from patient populations and from all three institutions will cess in automation such as moving forward the goal is collaborate in the two new automatic speech translation to create a personal model centers forming an ecosystem and self-driving cars. Health- for each individual based on of knowledge and innovation. care is ripe to be one of the their genomic artifacts,” Xing Xing envisions the center next frontiers of innovation explained. By using person- developing technologies that because it is high stakes and alized genomic data, doc- will enhance a doctor’s abil- high risk,” Xing said. tors and researchers can en- ity to provide a high quality of Compared with other dis- hance and drastically change healthcare. ciplines, making the correct healthcare. “Currently, doctors act as Another relevant project the bridge between the pa- “Currently, in Xing’s repertoire began tient and the body of knowl- as a computer vision project Eunice Mok/Junior Artist edge. The Center wants to doctors act where the goal was to devel- expand this bridge to become op an algorithm to automati- EMAIL, from A5 like the post office of the des- This protocol ensures that more data driven and com- as the bridge cally detect an interesting tination, which will figure out even after your download, munity dependent.” Doctors between the event in a long video such as of the second person’s ac- where exactly to deliver the your mail stays on the email will help gather the necessary a surveillance tape. count (name before @), and message. server. information by asking the patient and After this technology was the server will then append Finally, for the person at For example, when you right questions and can use the body of developed, a doctor reached the message to the text file re- the other end — the target check an email from Apple the new tools to aid in their out to Xing and explained lated to the second user. or destination — in order for on your iPhone, the message decision making. knowledge. The that in the ICU there is a criti- That is just a very brief him to fetch the email, he will be marked as “read” and Innovators like Xing hope Center wants cal need to monitor patients introduction to a much more must work with a client via updated on the server. Sub- to ride the wave of wearable and also hold caregivers ac- complex system. For most Post Office Protocol (POP) or sequently, that status will be technologies as a means to to expand countable. “For example, the email users today, the system Internet Mail Access Protocol sent back so that all other gather rich and highly dimen- technology could help ensure we face is actually made up (IMAP). If you actually look clients are updated, no mat- sional data. He hopes that this bridge to that the caregiver washes of two different servers run- at your email client settings, ter if you are later accessing one day we will have a device become more their hands thoroughly and ning on a server machine: POP and IMAP are definitely the email with a laptop or an that instantly links patients frequently and can be used to Simple Mail Transfer Proto- two popular acronyms. POP, iPad. to an ecosystem of doctors; data driven protect against malpractice,” col (SMTP) and Post Office just as its name suggests, is Today, different communi- a drastic change from the ap- and community Xing said. Protocol version 3 (POP3). In a server from which you can cation protocols have been de- pointment-based system used This center will allow in- general, the SMTP is like a lo- collect the mail others have signed. While we have talked today. dependent.” novators to provide doctors cal postal office, which checks sent to you. In short, POP is about the most popular and Carnegie Mellon’s focus with their prototypes and your postage and address and something that your client widely-used ones, there’s a lot will largely be in the informa- — Eric Xing, doctors, in turn, will provide finally finds out where to send will reach out to and down- more to the email system than tion technology sector, devel- feedback to improve the tech- your mail. load the message from to put it seems. For example, some oping ways to utilize data. professor of ma- nology. Both scientists and However, the SMTP can- it on your screen. users want to send encrypted Xing explained that currently, chine learning at doctors will work to design not parse a domain name, But many users demand messages. Another example is “Medical data has a very short the new technologies. such as cmu.edu, so instead it more than that with their SMTP — although it’s a pow- life cycle; it is just stored and Carnegie Mellon Xing praised that the cen- has to contact a Domain Name email. One disadvantage of erful tool, it has many strict retrieved when necessary. ter enables interactions and System server (DNS). For in- POP is that it is unidirection- requirements and limitations. The shift towards personal- collaborations with doctors stance, the DNS would trans- al: Once you download the Still, the emergence of ized medicine aims to use the decisions is extremely impor- that makes the partnership late a domain like “cmu.edu” message from the server to email has completely revolu- data all the time. Your data tant because it directly affects very unique. He noted that to “128.2.42.10”. After the your computer, it will be stuck tionized the way people com- will be used to enhance your people’s lives. A decade ago, “the goal of the center is not SMTP collects all the required there. In other words, POP municate, transcending tradi- experience as well provide the technology would not to simply publish a paper or info, the message from the makes it quite difficult if you tional physical mail systems. clues about other people’s have been robust enough to make headlines, but to make sender will be sent from that want to access the same mes- As it keeps improving, we will conditions. be trusted to make these criti- practical products that can server to the target domain’s sage from another machine, inevitably see a better, stron- A large patient network cal decisions. be adopted by doctors and mail exchange server, an MTA say your laptop. That is where ger, and more versatile email can be used to make infer- Xing’s past research in- patients for a modernized (Mail Transfer Agent). This is IMAP comes in as a remedy. technology in the future. ences doctors already do, volved using machine learn- healthcare.”

A8 « thetartan.org/forum The Tartan » March 23, 2015

From the Editorial Board Good service trips need MOSAIC creates colorful, important gender discussion On Sunday, Carnegie Mellon der and moving past the binary. society’s effects on how we perceive humility, respectfulness hosted MOSAIC, its annual confer- The entire event took place in the sex and sexuality, senior English ence on gender. This year, the con- Jared L. Cohen University Center and linguistics major Jasmine Xie Laura Scherb we have. Here’s $500, hope you can ference’s theme was Deconstructing (CUC) with over 150 registered stu- talked about non-binary individuals Publisher make that work, see you next year. It Gender: Beyond the Binary. dents. The program included open and their search for inclusion, Carn- makes me feel guilty. Although the conference focused discussions and presentations led by egie Mellon alumnus Harrison Apple I’m never comfortable when I tell It’s not easy to ride around in on traditional women’s issues when members of the campus community talked about the Pittsburgh Queer people that I’m going on a service vans for a week, feeling like every- it began in the 1990s, it has rightfully as well as guests from all over the History Project, and visiting scholar trip. one who sees you drive past is won- grown to address the larger issue of Pittsburgh community. at the University of Pittsburgh Kerry There’s no casual way to say that dering why you’re here and what gender in response to the campus’s To list just a few, senior drama- J. Kauer talked about heterosexism I’m spending a week of my time in you’re doing. It makes me feel like I growing needs as well as the many turgy major and dramaturg of Stue- and heteronormativity in women’s a third-world country, blindly and am propagating a stereotypical im- changes happening in terms of gen- benville Rachel Abrams discussed sports. boldly trying to help — whatever age: idealistic college student who In addition to the talks and work- that means. Some people are bub- thinks that she can change the world shops, two exhibits titled A Step: In- bling with praise, anxious to reas- but only ends up changing her pro- ternational Women Empowerment sure me that I’m doing good and file picture, as The Onion cheekily through Digital Photography and New saving the world. Others are not so wrote. Imaginings: Photographic Self-Rep- sure. I know why they think this, It’s not easy to return to school resentations of Female Athletes were and, in fact, I can’t help but agree and be swept up in life here, forget- open to conference attendees all day. with them. ting faces and stories and small trag- In the opening remarks, Coordi- Service learning trips, especially edies that you encountered. It makes nator of Gender Programs and Sex- those associated with churches or me feel ungrateful for the experienc- ual Violence Prevention Jess Klein colleges, are inherently flawed, and es and the impacts they made on me. asked attendees to imagine a world it’s hard not to feel like I’m feeding Service trips are wrought with with no gender. Some proposed that into that when I spend a week in complications. These things aren’t there would be no homophobia or Haiti. easy to do and many of the things transphobia, no pink and blue aisles in children’s stores, and no wage gap. However, others pointed out that “You should try to be the kind of person there would be other issues of inter- secting identities. Klein agreed, add- that does not advertise privilege, the ing that one cultural problem can- kind that seeks to listen more than not be eradicated without looking others. preach, the kind that gives respect and It is fantastic to see Carnegie Mel- lon Student Life taking initiative attention yet demands nothing in return, and sponsoring this comprehensive the kind that does not trivialize anyone event. As Jess Klein pointed out in her opening remarks, there is still or anything.” much to do about the issue of gender as well as the many other issues as- From the inside, a trip like that is we see are not easy to witness. But sociated with it. life-changing, impactful, and truly no matter how uncomfortable and It will be exciting to see how MO- invaluable. Visiting overcrowded, ungrateful I may feel, I will return. SAIC affects the campus community underfunded schools makes you re- Because along with all of that and what directions it will take in the alize just how lucky you are. Hear- discomfort, there’s a deep feeling future. The Tartan hopes that Carne- ing how much people do with so of fulfillment that lays at the root of gie Mellon will host similar events in little motivates you to try harder to these trips. Part of the week is find- the future centered on diversity and make the best of your situation. And ing and recognizing your awkward Eunice Oh/Art Editor social change. the connections that you make, both moments, thinking about what with those that you meet and those truth lies within them and how to be with whom you travel, prove to be a different kind of traveler. Voting is right and responsibility for every student strong, lasting bonds. You should try to be the kind But from the outside, society is of person that does not advertise It is (kind of) spring in Pitts- president for organizations, and One of the many responsibilities sometimes skeptical of the true ben- privilege, the kind that seeks to lis- burgh, and with the start of a new senators. that comes with this potential is an efit of these trips. I’ve been asked if ten more than preach, the kind that season comes the student govern- While some students scoff at the obligation to vote, and voting when- these trips make me feel superior, if gives respect and attention yet de- ment elections. The candidates have idea of spending even a minute of ever the opportunity is afforded will I’m giving money to corrupt organi- mands nothing in return, the kind announced themselves and their their time making their voice heard, enable students to better recognize zations, and perhaps most insulting that spreads a message of hope, teams, the platforms are in, and as of it is imperative that everyone who is the right to vote as a privilege and an of all, if I’m just participating in this not help. The kind that only makes Friday, the debating has been done. eligible to vote do so in this election. honor. trip for the résumé line. promises that they can keep. The As exciting as it has been to watch There are a number of issues at The upcoming elections may not Is it really worth it, they won- kind that does not trivialize anyone democracy in action on our own stake, and no matter who wins, there be of the utmost importance to every- der, to send fifteen students to Haiti or anything. The kind that people campus, the most thrilling part of the is much to be done within the next one this year, but laying the ground- when instead you could send all the would want to have come back. process hasn’t started yet. year. The university is at an integral work for a sustainable democracy money down by itself instead? Service trips have the ability to From Thursday, March 26 at noon part of its existence, and the changes should be. Last year, the percent- In moments of weakness, I find change lives, both on the ground to Tuesday, March 31 at 6 p.m., both it undergoes within the next decade age of students that voted was 17.9, myself wondering the same thing. and in the group. But without hu- graduate and undergraduate stu- could very well determine the Carn- higher than previous years. Turnouts It is not, after all, easy to meet with mility, acceptance, and most impor- dents will have the chance to cast egie Mellon reputation for years to this year again have the potential people who have millions of dollars tantly of all, respect, the lessons of their vote and determine the next come. Students have the potential to to be much higher, and they should worth of need, and explain to them these trips will fall upon deaf ears, student body president, vice presi- spark real change at Carnegie Mel- be. The Tartan urges students to cast that we’re here for a week to hand and the world will continue to ques- dent, vice president for finance, vice lon, both on campus and beyond. their vote this week. out money, or at least as much as tion the merits of service trips. Democratic process should decide shell space use

Last semester, the university be- received over a hundred responses for the shell space; no other student gan expanding and improving the and asked the question “Which of organizations had a chance to bid on Jared L. Cohon University Center the following aspects of the Carn- the space. This method of allocating (CUC). The construction will create egie Mellon experience are most the space, combined with Senate’s 4,559 sq. ft. of empty, unfurnished underserved by existing campus fa- generous JFC funding, gave student space — “shell space” — on the third cilities?” The most popular answer government an undue amount of floor of the CUC. was “collaborative study,” followed influence on the construction of the The Undergraduate Student Sen- closely by “dining.” expanded CUC. ate bought 3025 sq. ft. of this shell Senate took the results of the Senate also spent $50,000 that space for $50,000, and the Gradu- poll and decided to move forward could have been allocated to improve ate Student Assembly (GSA) bought with the idea of a lounge and study the Carnegie Mellon student experi- 1534 sq. ft. Senate plans to use the space. Recently, Senate established a ence in other ways. Although they space as a collaborative lounge and Shell Space Committee that will de- polled students on what they would study place for students, according termine the specific furnishings and like to see the shell space used for, to Senate Chair and junior informa- interior of the yet-unbuilt space. Senate did not consider their con- tion systems major Evan Wineland. Although Senate plans to use the stituents — undergraduate students Senate provided the money par- shell space in way that benefits the — when they purchased the space. tially with their operating budget for student body at large, the process The university’s administration, this fiscal year and partly with the re- by which they acquired the space is rather than furnishing the shell serve account, an account that holds questionable. space themselves, farmed the task rollover money left over after each The office of the Dean of Student out to Student Government in a way semester. Affairs Gina Casalegno and the office that neglected the student body’s Senate polled students about the of the Vice President of Campus Af- needs and the properly democratic shell space as part of their annual fairs Michael Murphy gave Senate process that should be part of the

Senate Week initiative. The survey and the GSA first priority on bidding university’s dealings. Eunice Oh/Art Editor

Editorial Board Staff laura scherb* Ariel Hoffmaier* Zeke Rosenberg Anne-sophie kim* Senior Staff Publisher Forum Editor Sports Editor Layout Manager Carl Glazer, Greg Hanneman, Alan Vangpat Brian trimboli* Sarah GuteKunst* Amelia Britton Copy Editor-in-Chief Operations Manager Asst. Copy Manager Deborah Chu, Gordon Estes, Rin Fair, Evan Kahn, Xinya Li, Stephanie Stern, Ian Tanaya The Tartan is a student newspaper at Carnegie Mellon University, funded in part by the student activities fee. It is a weekly publication by students during the fall and spring semesters, printed by Editorial Staff layout Trib Total Media. The Tartan is not an official publication of Carnegie Mellon University. Claire Gianakas Yeongwoo Hwang Benjamin Chang Rachel Cohen Sean Ha, Korrawat Jianthanakanon SciTech Editor Systems Manager Asst. Business Manager Contributing Editor The Editorials appearing at the beginning of the opinion section are the official opinion of The Lula Beresford-Banker Alison chiu Xiyu Wang Braden Kelner Advertising Tartan Editorial Board. Columns, Editorial Cartoons, and Reviews are the opinions of their Pillbox Editor Advertising Manager Asst. Forum Editor Contributing Editor Michelle Wan, Sophia Cheng individual creators. The Tartan Editorial Staff reserves the right to withhold from publication any copy it deems unfit. maryyann Landlord Benjamin Chang Kate Groschner Comics Editor Business Manager Contributing Editor Letters to the Editor are the opinions of their authors. Letters from within the University com- Abhinav Gautam James wu Brent Heard munity take precedence. Letters intended for publication must be signed and include the author’s address and telephone number for verification; letters must not exceed 350 words. Authors’ names Photo Editor Copy Manager Contributing Editor may be withheld from publication upon request. The Tartan reserves the right to condense or reject Eunice Oh NIVEDITA CHOPRA Justin McGown any letter. Letters must be submitted by 5 p.m. on the Wednesday before publication by mail or to Art Editor Asst. Copy Manager Contributing Editor [email protected]. Michelle Wan Isabel BleiMeister Brooke Kuei Personnel Manager Asst. Layout Manager Contributing Editor Mail: The Tartan Office: University Center 314 Box 119, UC Suite 103 © 2014 The Tartan, all rights reserved. Web: www.thetartan.org 5000 Forbes Avenue * Denotes executive committee member Library of Congress ISSN: 0890-3107 E-mail: [email protected] Pittsburgh, PA 15213 March 23, 2015 « The Tartan thetartan.org/forum » A9 Glee proved bad writing Oklahoma marriage law is absurd

those with marriages recognized by private marriage ceremonies, free of can still be worthwhile clergy directly integrates religion government regulation, but should into the government. not be forced to be a member of a re- Good, accurate, positive televi- Ideally, no such federal marriage ligious community to get their mar- sion portrayals of minorities are of regulations would exist. People riage identified by the state. While in course the ideal, but for the most Brandon Schmuck would be free to perform their own the end the flaws of this bill will sig- part those are as rare and precious marriage ceremonies and share nal a win for marriage equality, the Ariel Hoffmaier as diamonds. Glee may not have of- Despite the fact that our nation property and benefits with whom- ideas from which this bill stemmed fered many diamonds, but it certain- continues to move closer to marriage ever they pleased. However, we do are backward thinking in nature and I’ll admit it: I stopped watching ly tossed out a whole bunch of cubic equality and increased personal not live in this ideal world, and thou- destructive to the progress of social Glee two seasons ago. Granted, I zirconia. freedom, Oklahoma’s House voted sands upon thousands of pages of freedom. stuck around longer than most. The For individuals starved for any to pass one of the largest attacks yet laws are dependent on marriage as show was a revelation at first for an character that validated their iden- on the LGBTQ community and non- a system of classification. Therefore, Brandon Schmuck (bschmuck@) is a awkward teenage musical theatre tity, Glee may not have been shiny religious citizens. when clergy give a marriage license, staffwriter for The Tartan. enthusiast, and my initial invest- or durable enough, but it was some- Moving on to the state Senate they are also giving a voucher to all ment kept me semi-masochistically thing. If Glee will be remembered for for approval, this bill would restrict of these government benefits. enduring even as it descended into anything, it will be for its diversity. the performance of marriage cer- Despite the fact that this law is really, truly bad writing. Incidental- emonies to judges, retired judges, just utterly ridiculous, it does have ly, my breaking point was Kurt and and clergy. This would put county one pretty great side effect. Ironi- Blaine’s first breakup (the only char- “Glee may not clerks out of business and make citi- cally, by passing this law, the conser- acters worth watching by then). I es- zens dependent on clergy to perform vatives of Oklahoma are indirectly sentially said “screw this bull****” have offered many most marriages. Not only is this law legalizing marriage equality in their and never looked back. diamonds, but it against the very ideals our nation state. In no part does their law men- But that’s not exactly true. I first was founded on, but it is a direct at- tion that same-sex marriage cer- looked back when Cory Monteith certainly tossed out tack on individual groups of citizens. emonies cannot also be performed died two summers ago, because he a whole bunch of This bill was a last attempt from by clergy. This has caused people to was far too young — a celebrity of Oklahoma conservatives to keep jump into becoming registered as my generation’s invention. I’m also cubic zirconia. For same-sex marriage out of their state. clergy, which will most likely cause a looking back now, because Glee individuals starved The sponsor of the bill, Representa- spike in same-sex marriages carried ended last Friday and I can’t help tive Todd Russ, even stated that it out in the state. feeling a residual, nostalgic wave of for any character was in response to marriage equality It is hard to believe that in 2015 sadness. laws “stuck down [their] throats” by states are still passing laws that in- Glee was a bad show for a most of that validated Congress. There is no logical reason tegrate religion and government its run. God knows its creators like their identity, Glee to restrict marriage to being per- in ways that our Founding Fathers to think it will go down in television formed by clergy, and if passed by feared greatly. Yes, religion is a very history as “The Greatest Show Ever,” may not have been the Senate, the bill is bound to make important part of our society and, for despite the awful writing, utter ne- shiny or durable its way to the Supreme Court in no many of us, who we are as people. glect for continuity, and self-righ- time, after the state was already However, when religion is mixed teous “issue”-centrism. However, enough, but it was forced to allow same-sex marriage with government in a way as hate- now that’s all over, credit should something. If it will by the federal government. ful as this bill proposes, it defeats the be given where credit is due. More The United States was founded reasoning behind religion: to bring — and earlier — than any other be remembered for on the idea of separation of church people together and bring meaning show, Glee demonstrated that diver- and state. A backer of the bill, Rep- to their lives. Government and reli- sity in television is both feasible and anything, it will be resentative Dennis Johnson, states gion must remain two distinct and practical. for its diversity.” that, “Marriage was not instituted by separate entities, as beliefs vary by Justifiably, Glee took pride in government.” He is entirely correct. person and dictating others based playing the diversity card. It ran However, inheritance laws, tax ben- on one group’s views is destructive down the checklist of minorities: In this, if nothing else, other efits, and other laws dictated by mar- to society. Black, gay, Latino, physically dis- shows should take Glee as an ex- riage were instituted by the govern- Citizens should be free to hold abled, trans, mixed-race, mentally ample. Broad media representation ment. Giving these benefits to only disabled, Asian, bisexual, Jewish, is doable (Glee did it), and even if it and so on. Problematic aspects of by no means signals quality writing, these characters aside (and there good acting, or longevity in a show, were plenty), no other show has at least it gives the critics something yet represented minority groups to to remember favorably post-cancel- Glee’s extent or prominence. lation. Anybody who holds a minority identity knows that media represen- Ariel Hoffmaier (ahoffmai@) is Fo- tation is an invaluable resource. rum editor for The Tartan. Eunice Oh/Art Editor CMU must do more to prioritize diversity not just on paper Juan Acosta Mellon’s lack of diversity in its stu- models our peer institutions have im- to elicit specific feedback from the as many other universities do. It sad- Junior Staffwriter dents, faculty, and staff. plemented. This approach is perfectly community. Offering this data would dens me that a conversation with At the beginning of the Town Hall, valid — why reinvent the wheel, after have made our conversation more any member of the administration Carnegie Mellon’s Diversity Town administrators made it clear that the all? However, competitively bench- fruitful as community members about first-generation students has Hall meeting left me disillusioned term “diversity” for their purposes marking our practices with those of could also tackle the question: How never come up in my time here. This and disheartened. is reduced to two categories: ethnic- our peer institutions should inspire do we matriculate and graduate mi- is something Carnegie Mellon can I love Carnegie Mellon, and over ity/race (Black, Hispanic, and Native Carnegie Mellon administrators to nority students on time? do better. Looking back, much of the the years I have been — and continue American) and gender. These cat- innovate original solutions from an Another disappointing aspect of anxiety and self-consciousness I felt to be — an ambassador for many of egories are areas where institutional informed perspective. Our leaders the Town Hall was that first-genera- during my time at Carnegie Mellon its programs, including IMPAQT, Pre- data is available (they recognized should feel intrinsically motivated tion students — like myself — were was related to my first-generation College, Under Construction, and that diversity is much more than to reflect and assess our instition’s never mentioned. If Warner Hall does status. the Washington Semester Program. those two categories), but I hope ad- societal impact. A mind-frame of in- not have data on first-generation stu- Throughout the Town Hall there I am grateful and humbled by the ministrators will look at other catego- cessant institutional comparisons is dents (which would be surprising), was mention meaningful relationships and op- ries, such as first-generation status, detrimental and unproductive for then they must begin to collect it so of “uncon- portunities Carnegie Mellon has af- moving forward. Carnegie Mellon leaders to work in. they can better talk about socioeco- scious forded me. They have undoubtedly Though I appreciate the research It begs the question: Why does nomic diversity and create a support- bias” in shaped my professional trajectory. put into the presentation, as many Carnegie Mellon have such an inferi- ive infrastructure for students. There the hir- However, my love for this institution studies of our peer universities such ority complex? is often an intersectionality between ing and is slowly eroding and I am skepti- as Cornell and the University of Recruitment was one of the topics being a minority and a first-genera- cal as to whether Carnegie Mellon’s Michigan were cited, the lack of orig- touched upon at the Town Hall. The tion student that the administration leadership can steer our university inal, innovative solutions to recruit- presenter of this topic mentioned must consider when thinking toward becoming a more inclusive ing and retaining diverse students, the best practice is to nurture pipe- about creating institution. faculty, and staff communicated to lines for minority students, includ- On March 16, Carnegie Mellon me that this is only a priority for the ing Carnegie Mellon’s The Summer hosted a Diversity Town Hall as a part university on paper. Between 2010 Academy for Mathematics and Sci- of the Strategic Plan 2015 initiative. and 2014, the university increased its ence (SAMS) and Fusion Forum. support Carnegie Mellon’s Strategic Plan is a minority student enrollment by 1.1 However, to create robust, non-leaky networks. multi-pillar set of goals that creates percent. After this Town Hall, I have pipelines means they must be well Carnegie Mellon’s the agenda for both campus initia- no hope that this figure will improve funded and well staffed. Our insti- vi- tives and financial support. It was much, unless administrators include tution must expand funding for sion painful to sit in a replete, upscale students, faculty, staff, and alumni in such programs and develop new i s re- Posner Center conference room and the conversation. ones that enable minority students to “meet the cruit- listen to the dearth of any specific Throughout the presentation to also explore aspects of Carn- chang- ment pro- vision for how to address Carnegie there were constant references to egie Mellon’s exceptional arts, cess. They humanities, and social science ing pro- programs. posed I would not be on campus sen- today if it were not for a Cel- ebration of Diversity (COD) weekend. I was able to connect with another first-generation Latino student and it made me si- believe I was worthy of enroll- tivity ing at Carnegie Mellon as well. training as a It made me believe this institu- way to mitigate tion cared about students like needs this. When profes- me. of so- sors and staff have Yet, funding for initiatives such as ciety b y to undergo cultural SAMS has been cut over the last few build- ing on professional develop- years. There was no mention of this its tra- dition ment, however, it is some- in the Town Hall meeting. How can of inno- vation, thing they tend to not take se- Carnegie Mellon brand itself as an problem solving, and interdisciplin- riously. Being sensitive to cultural institution that values diversity when arity.” Carnegie Mellon cannot meet difference and aware of your cultural it cuts funding to one of its most well- the changing needs of our society if biases can only stem from years of known diversity programs? our institution is not representative conversation and critical thinking. Also, how can this institution de- of the world it wants to mold. First- Rather than use sensitivity training cide to move forward in the next ten generation students are integral to to make administrators feel like they years when there was not a proper this goal because their education are making our institution a more conversation about how to exactly will potentially have a ripple effect global place, what if we recruited move forward with recruitment? not only within their family, but also staff and faculty who value, respect, Rather than telling the community their community. and embody what we want our insti- that our diversity programs will be Administrators should also think tution to become? evaluated, qualitative and quantita- about creating programs for these Perhaps even more importantly, Eunice Oh/Art Editor tive data should have been presented students to connect with each other, what if minorities occupied decision- A10 « thetartan.org/sports The Tartan » March 23, 2015

Borland retirement highlights dangers, culture shift in NFL ian tanaya him the future for the fran- are nothing new. The NFL has roughness,” limiting the sion, many have applauded suggested that a significant Assistant Sports Editor chise, especially after Willis been saying that “football has amount of contact practices him for making a move that culture change is taking place decided to hang up the cleats. never been safer,” and to a teams hold during the course sacrifices the fame and glory in the NFL right now. On Bor- Safety concerns have been Borland specifically cited con- large extent, that is true. Bet- of the year, and a concussion he could have gotten in the land’s decision to walk away plaguing the National Football cerns about the risk of brain ter protective equipment has protocol instituted in 2013 NFL in order to preserve his from football, Nowinski said, League (NFL) in recent years, injuries, having nursed a con- made an impact on reducing intended to minimize the ef- quality of life. Many current “It shows the macho culture but it seems like more play- cussion he sustained during the occurrence and severity of fects of concussions through a players like St. Louis Rams of ‘destroy yourself for the ers than ever are voicing their training camp. “I just thought injuries. Better medical prac- variety of steps taken before a guard Chris Long and former game’ is losing its grip, that concerns in the form of early to myself, ‘What am I doing? tices have limited the duration concussed player can return to players like former New Or- it’s no longer cool to question retirements. Is this how I’m going to live and long-term damage of in- play. leans Saints and Cleveland people’s toughness. That rep- The average length of an my adult life, banging my dividual injuries. In addition, What separates these con- Browns linebacker Scott Fujita resents a big shift in thinking NFL career, currently 3.3 head, especially with what I’ve the league has been employ- cerns over player safety from are also lauding him, rather from just a few years ago.” years, has always been fairly learned and knew about the ing many different initiatives past challenges to the NFL than the traditional response More players are making low. For every superstar we dangers?’” Borland said Mon- over the past years to attempt is the new culture emerging to injury concerns, which is the choice to value their long- get to see on the field, dozens day on ESPN’s “Outside the to make the game safer, in- from both NFL players and questioning his toughness. term health over the millions of players cannot get playing Lines.” cluding an onslaught of new NFL fans. On comment boards Chris Nowinski, an expert of dollars they can get play- time, resulting in early retire- Injury concerns in the NFL penalties for “unnecessary surrounding Borland’s deci- on sports-related concussions, ing in the NFL. This is not to ments. On the other hand, say that football is becoming those players that do make it more dangerous than it ever onto starting rosters and be- has been. Quite the contrary: come important contributors Safety has definitely become to their teams often enjoy ca- concerning to the NFL, and reers lasting into their thirties their efforts to improve the and sometimes even forties, game and spread awareness barring any career-ending about the risks of football are injuries. leading those who are wary on Over the past few weeks, the risks of playing the game however, there have been to exit the spotlight with con- many prominent names in siderable dignity. The changes the NFL retiring early. Jason in the NFL also do not com- Worilds, a top linebacker for pletely ensure a safe game. the Pittsburgh Steelers, re- Barring any rule changes tired last week, calling it quits that will forbid tackling, there at 27. Jake Locker, the former will always be some risk of in- starting quarterback for the jury playing football, but the Tennessee Titans, retired ear- safety measures in play now lier this month at 26. The San and in development will mini- Francisco 49ers lost 30-year- mize the frequency and seri- old linebacker Patrick Willis, ousness of these risks. who many thought would still The NFL will not run itself be contributing to the team for out of business through con- years to come. tinuing to improve safety mea- The most jarring of these sures; instead, it will be able early retirements, however, is to maintain the entertainment former 49ers linebacker Chris value football has and ensure Borland. Borland had only just that its key contributors do not completed a great rookie sea- suffer long-term consequenc- son for the team, impressing es as a result of playing in the the 49ers enough to consider Zeke Rosenberg/Sports Editor NFL.

Sports briefs Swimming and Diving Steinhouse and Crews each 100-yard breaststroke and fin- Track and Field 10.07-meter heave, her high- tosses of 41.58m and 36.46m, Starting on Wednesday, se- competed individually in the ishing with a time of 1:07.12, On Friday and Saturday, est finish of her three throw- respectively. lect members of the Carnegie 50-yard freestyle, with Crews good for 32nd. Sophomore both Carnegie Mellon track ing events. Both squads will next com- Mellon men’s and women’s finishing 40th with a time of diver Machika Kaku also fin- and field teams competed in For the men, the top per- pete in the Carnegie Mellon swimming and diving team 24.50 and Steinhouse ending ished up her diving on the the Washington and Lee Track former was senior George Mini-Invite on Saturday. competed in the NCAA Divi- up in 48th in the men’s with a 1-meter board, earning 16th and Field Carnival. Degen, who set the event sion III Championships in time of 21.29. overall and All-American Hon- The women started with record in the 10,000-meter Compiled by Shenandoah, Texas. On the On Thursday, the women’s orable Mention with a 364.15 senior Sasha Spalding setting run with a time of 30:51.98. Carl glazer opening day, the women’s relay team competed again, in the finals. a new school record in the He finished first with fellow 200-yard medley relay team, this time finishing 13th overall On the final day, the wom- 200-meter dash with a time of senior Joe Pane finishing in comprised of junior Kira in the 400-yard medley with a en’s relay team competed once 25.73, good for a second place third with a time of 32:07.86. Singhaus, first year Kimberly time of 3:51.86 to earn them more, this time in the 400- finish. In the 10000-meter run, In the 800-meter run, sopho- Hochstedler, and sophomores All-American Honorable Men- yard freestyle relay, finishing a pair of Tartans took 2nd and more Owen Norley took the Gillian Crews and Allison Kirk- tion. Crews competed in her in 3:36.01 and in 26th place. 3rd place as juniors Zofia Till- top spot with his career best by, placed 14th during prelims second of 3 individual events, Singhaus also finished her man and Sophie Lohmann fin- time of 1:53.62. To round out with a time of 1:45.51, but with the 100-yard butterfly, championships in the 200-me- ished with times of 38:42.36 the track success, sophomore DQ’d during the finals. finishing 18th with a time of ter back stroke, finishing 31st and 39:12.51 respectively. Curtis Watro placed second in The men’s 200-yard relay 56.57. with a time of 2:06.48. The In the field events, sopho- the 3000-meter steeplechase team, with senior Josh Lu- Friday saw strong individ- men’s relay team also compet- more Rebecca Fortner took with a time of 9:49.24. cheon, sophomore Sivan Meh- ual performances by several ed in the 400-yard freestyle re- first place in the high jump In the field events, the only ta, and first-years Matthew Tartans with Chu competing lay, finishing 25th with a time by clearing the 1.51-meter success came from first-year Chu and Kevin Steinhouse, in the 100-yard breaststroke, of 3:09.71. bar on her first attempt, while Kevin Wainczak, who tied for also competed and finished touching the wall with a time The championships mark fellow sophomore Grace Yee fourth in the pole vault by 13th overall by setting a new of 56.77 for 27th, Crew in the the end of the swimming and took fourth in the pole vault clearing the 3.96-meter bar, school record with a time of 200-yard butterfly, finishing in diving season. by clearing the 2.86 mark. and first-year Jacob Schofel, 1:30.64, earning them All- a time of 2:07.47 for 27th and Junior Lauren Mature placed who placed 5th in the ham- American honorable mention. Hochstedler competing in the fourth in the shot put with a mer and 6th in the discus with sports commentary NCAA Tournament shocks with upsets and chalk alike carl glazer The Georgia State squad standard. This weekend, the Senior Staffwriter barely won its conference tournament still couldn’t de- tournament and had a coach cide what its identity should March Madness defies celebrating so hard he tore his be with 1 seed Villanova los- prediction. Every year, mil- Achilles, leading to the comi- ing to 8 seed North Carolina lions of Americans, from of- cal moment of him falling St. and 7 seed Michigan St. fice pools across the country off his stool when his son hit knocking off 2 seed Virginia to President Obama fill out the game winning shot. UAB to leave the Eastern Regional brackets and within a few athletics has been struggling without its top two seeds, but hours most are so laughably so badly they just disbanded everything else was shock- wrong that Warren Buffett the football team due to lack ingly expected with Kentucky was willing to wager a billion of funds. These are the stories continuing its dominating un- dollars of his own money that of the giant killers who felled defeated season by blowing no one would be unscathed at two of the top teams from out Cincinnati and Arizona the end of the tournament in a Big 12 Conference so tal- crushing Ohio State. April. ented that 70 percent of the In a year where almost ev- Needless to say Buffet is conference made it in to the eryone has Kentucky winning still very much a billionaire tournament. it all, and anyone picking oth- and in hundreds of office The first day had five erwise just praying for an up- pools the die-hard college games decided by a single set to win some money, March basketball fans are bemoan- point and two go into over- Madness is still struggling ing how the person who time, but the second day was to find its identity. It could picked based on uniform col- nearly as bizarre because of be the year of the Cinderella ors beat them. the lack of upsets and close story or that of the dominant This year was no differ- games. The iconic 5–12 up- top seeds imposing their will ent with the first three games set never happened and the on the competition. showing three of the 3 seeds tournament shockingly went There are still two more taken to the buzzer by their almost as predicted with only weekends to go, and really all mid major 14 seed counter- 11 seed Dayton’s win over 6 anyone knows is that there is parts. Notre Dame barely seed Providence to close out bound to be some entertain- made it out alive by forcing a the day not going as expected. ing basketball. That and the last second turnover against No one expects “chalk” fact that everyone’s brackets Northeastern, but Baylor and or all of the favorites to win, are likely more valuable as Iowa State were not as lucky, but to have two days so dia- fire kindling than any chance losing to Georgia State and metrically opposed was at making money in your UAB respectively. strange even by tournament pool. March 23, 2015 « The Tartan thetartan.org/sports » A11

Carnegie Mellon teams continue seasons through break carl glazer morning with a 9–0 victory. egie Mellon faced off against Pavia, sophomore Nicholle honors with Qian. nament, good enough for 5th Senior Staffwriter While every player won their Sewanee and blew them out Torres, Tsu, and Raschke all In the Jekyll Island Colle- overall. matches, senior Bryce Beiss- 9–0. All three doubles teams pulling out victories to give giate tournament, the Tartans The Tartans also competed Men’s Tennis wanger and junior Yuvraj Ku- won by at least 5 while all 6 the Tartans the win, 5–4. faced off against 30 teams in the Jekyll Island Invitation- Over the break, the Carn- mar were dominant in dou- singles matches for the Tar- Rounding out the trip, in the 54-hole tournament. al over the long break, finish- egie Mellon men’s tennis team bles play with a 8–2 victory tans were straight set victories Carnegie Mellon faced off On the first day, the Tartans ing tied for 13th with a 1032 traveled to Claremont, Califor- and Alla, Heaney-Secord and as the Tartans finished the trip against 14th-ranked Sewanee. shot a 302 and Qian led Carn- round total (346–354–332). nia for its annual spring break Wadwani were outstanding in with a vengeance. Two doubles wins by Pavia and egie Mellon with a 73, good Kitahara had the best overall tour. The Tartans faced off singles play with all three win- Chang along with Tsu and Tor- enough for 22nd out of 150. finish for the Tartans with a against some of the best teams ning in straight blow out sets. Women’s Tennis res put the Tartans in the early Senior Justin Fischler and Low three day total of 242, which in the country, including top- Next up for the Tartans was During their annual spring lead before Pavia, Torres, and both shot 76s on the day. Day placed her 24th overall. Fel- ranked Trinity University, 15th Bowdoin College, where Carn- break trip to California, the Raschke all won in straight two was a bit tougher for the low first-year Robin Tan place ranked Pomona-Pitzer Colleg- egie Mellon started off slow 7th ranked Carnegie Mellon sets, 6–3, 6–2; 6–3, 7–5; and Tartans; they shot a 311 while 27th overall with her 54 hole es, and 18th ranked Bowdoin by dropping all three close women’s tennis team com- 6–1, 6–1; respectively, and Tsu Low and Qian both shot 75s. total of 244, which was bol- College. doubles matches. The Tartans peted against the top teams in won with a come-from-behind The final day for the Tar- stered by her career-low 76 on The first day for the Carn- rebounded in singles play Division III. victory 4–6, 6–1, 6–4. tans was led by sophomore the final day. egie Mellon was a double– with Heaney-Secord and Wad- First up for the Tartans was Jordan Klodowski, who shot header with Pomona-Pitzer wani each winning in straight UAA rival Rochester. Carn- Men’s Golf 6 birdies as Carnegie Mellon Track & Field in the morning and University sets, 7–5, 6–0 and 7–5, 6–4 egie Mellon disposed of them The Carnegie Mellon Men’s shot a 300. Qian and Low each Select members of the Athletic Association (UAA) ri- and Kirkov pulling out a tight quickly in a 9–0 victory. Senior golf team competed in two shot a 75 again with Qian fin- Carnegie Mellon men’s and val the University of Rochester match 7–6 (7–3), 1–6, 1–0 Bryn Rachke and first-year tournaments over the break, ishing tied for 37th overall. women’s track and field teams in the evening. (10–3). The singles split was Cori Sidell won their doubles the UAA Championships and The Tartans finished the tour- traveled to compete in the The Tartans fell behind again unable to pull Carnegie match 8–0 while all six singles the Jekyll Island Invitational. nament tied for 21st. NCAA Indoor Championships quickly against Pomona-Pitzer Mellon out of their early dou- matches were won in blow out In the UAA Champion- over break. For the women, after going 1–2 in the doubles bles hole as they fell 6–3. straight set victories. ships, the Tartans kept it close Women’s Golf senior Erin Kiekhaefer com- matches with only seniors After the disheartening The next match was a bit all weekend. After the first The Carnegie Mellon wom- peted in mile run. She posted a Will Duncan and Christian defeat, the Tartans had to tougher when Carnegie Mel- day, Carnegie Mellon shot a en’s golf team competed in the 5:03.96 in prelims to move on Heaney-Secord pulling out a pull it together as they faced lon faced off against 5th- 313 and was only down two first ever UAA women’s golf to the finals before her 5:09.32 close victory, 9–8. In singles off against the top ranked ranked Claremont-Mudd- strokes from leader Rochester championships. time placed her ninth overall. play, Carnegie Mellon played team in the country in Trinity Scripps. The Tartans dropped and sophomore George Qian This is one of many firsts For the men, seniors Thom- close with all but two matches University. Carnegie Mellon all three doubles matches to was first among individuals for the Tartans, who are still as Vandenberg and George requiring a tiebreaker either trailed again after doubles fall behind quickly before con- while senior Cameron Low in the midst of their first year Degen both competed. Van- for a game or the set. Junior play with only Duncan and He- tinuing to struggle in singles was tied for 6th. On day two, of varsity competition. On the denberg competed in the 400 Abhishek Alla won 7–6 (7–4), aney-Secord winning, 8–2, but play with only junior Brooke the Tartans shot much bet- first day, the Tartans shot a and 800 meters. Times of 6–4, while sophomores Kunal this time the Tartans singles Tsu and Raschke pulling out ter and posted a 303, which 388 to place them in a distant 49.05 in the 400 and 1:53.43 Wadwani and Kiril Kirkov won play was enough to overcome victories, 6–2, 6–1, and 6–4, jumped them into second third. in the 800 pushed him to the their respective matches 7–5, the deficit. Alla and Kirkov 2–6, 1–0 (10–5). place with a 616 for the tour- The brightest spot was finals in both events. In the fi- 6–0 and 6–4, 7–6 (10–8). The won in straight sets, 6–3, 6–1 Trying to rebound, the Tar- nament. Qian was tied for first first-year Summer Kitahara, nals, Vandenberg finshed 5th split in singles play was not and 6–3, 6–0 respectively, tans next faced 8th-ranked Po- with his second 74-shot round who was tied for 5th with her in both events with a time of enough to overcome the early while Heaney–Secord and mona-Pitzer. Carnegie Mellon and won the first playoff hole 80 for the round. Day two was 49.13 in the 400 and 1:54.98 hole from doubles and left Duncan both earned their sec- fell behind earlier with only to claim sole posession of first much better with Carnegie in the 800, giving him two All- Carnegie Mellon losing 5–4. ond wins that day, 6–3, 3–6, sophomores Vanessa Pavia place. Sophomore Alexander Mellon improving by over 25 American honors. Degen ran In the next game against 7–5 and 6–7 (1–7), 6–0, 7–5 and Stacy Chang pulling out Pomerantz played as an indi- strokes to shoot a 362. Kitaha- the finals of the 3000 meter Rochester, the Tartans took respectively. a win, 8–3. The Tartans ral- vidual and was third overall ra earned all-UAA first team and finished 10th with a time out their frustration from the To finish off the trip, Carn- lied back in singles play with and claimed first team all-UAA honors with her 161 shot tour- of 8:28.49.

Left: Courtesy of CMU Athletics Department. Right: File photo by Kevin Zheng/Asst. Photo Editor. Left: Josh Lucheon swims the backstroke. Right: Kunal Wadwani lines up a return shot. A12 « thetartan.org/sports The Tartan » March 23, 2015

Club lacrosse puts NCLL on notice with big win in first-ever game

ian tanaya the Tartans’ lead was just too Assistant Sports Editor much, especially with yet an- other score from Reid by the The first day of spring may time the game finally ended. have brought yet another Sophomore long stick mid- batch of snow to Pittsburgh, fielder, defender, and captain but it also signaled the start Kincaid Murray was elated of the season for the Carnegie with the team’s performance, Mellon Club Lacrosse team. especially considering the lim- Opening against the Waynes- ited time the team has actually burg Yellow Jackets, the Tar- been able to meet for practices. tans turned a chilly night into “We’ve only been able to really a red-hot rally of scores, domi- have two practices due to the nating Waynesburg 9–5. snow,” Murray said, citing the Carnegie Mellon got off to large amount of snowfall that an early lead when senior mid- has blanketed Pittsburgh often fielder Esteban Pacheco scored this year. “As a result, we were the first goal for the Tartans, a little sloppy.” sneaking it through a narrow Nevertheless, the team’s gap on the left side of the goal. dominating performance Waynesburg answered with a was very satisfying. “It was a strike of its own, and the game great start to our season,” he began to settle into a defensive said. “We will be very good battle with a lengthy succes- going forward.” The club sion of saves by both goalies. team switched over this year Towards the end of the first from the MCLA (Men’s Col- quarter, the Tartans were able lege Lacrosse Association) to to earn another score, making the NCLL (National College it 2–1. Lacrosse League), which has The next quarter brought most of their opponents locat- more offensive action to the ed nearby and a better chance game, starting with an early for the team to compete. score by Pacheco. The Yellow Murray believes that the Jackets scored again shortly team chemistry is very strong afterwards, but sophomore among both the coaching staff attacker William Tyler Reid and the players. “We’re all out answered with a score of his here for the love of the game,” own. Tensions rose among he said. “It’s a fast paced and the visiting players, as evi- physical sport that really denced by one member of the draws people in and has a tight team slamming his helmet to knit community.” Making the the ground after the referees time to come together for the pulled him out for commit- sport, especially with the rig- ting a penalty. Waynesburg ors of Carnegie Mellon, makes took a more aggressive ap- the feats they achieve on the proach toward the end of the field even more impressive, al- second quarter, sending shot though Murrary contends that after shot at junior goalie Brad their love of the game makes

Hodge until finally manag- Matthew Nielsen/Staff Photographer balance easier to achieve. As ing to score. Their elation was Top left: Junior middy DeOnte Means scoops the ball. Bottom Left: William Tyler Reid defends a player. Right: Esteban Pancheo launches a pass. the team goes though more short lived, as the Tartans led games together, their chem- by Reid quickly answered, tak- cession of blocks by Hodge, a response, the Tartans coun- courtesy of graduate student Reid, bringing the game to a istry will almost certainly im- ing a 5–3 lead into halftime. the Tartans quickly turned to teracted each Waynesburg midfielder Travis Armiger. Be- lopsided 8–3 score. Although prove. Judging by the strength From that point on, the the offensive, leading to an- attempt to advance the ball, fore they realized it, the Yel- Waynesburg would manage of their start, it will certainly Tartans began to overwhelm other Pacheco score. While eventually turning the tables low Jackets found themselves to add two more goals to their be exciting to follow the team the Yellow Jackets. After a suc- Waynesburg tried to muster with another score, this time surrendering another score to total in the fourth quarter, going forward. George Qian shakes pressure, takes UAA championship zeke rosenberg The playoff was over title, the first for a Tartan since the offseason in the simulator McIlroy, there is no one he Qian found that he particular- Sports Editor quickly. After Qian’s opponent 2009. in Skibo Gym helps him do just tries to emulate, preferring to ly enjoys quantitative classes, missed the green on his sec- His triumph at the confer- that on a regular basis. forge his own style. He says such as multivariate analysis. With a day remaining in ond shot Qian “just aimed for ence tournament added to his It should come as no shock, golf is about creating your own He is also pursuing a com- the two-day University Ath- the middle of the green.” He growing trophy case, which then, that Qian has little inter- game and “sticking with what puter science minor — 15-110 letic Association (UAA) Men’s hit his mark, setting up a two- already included a spot on the est in benchmarks and puts a works.” A conference title as a and 15-112 were his favorite Golf Championship, sopho- putt, which Qian described as Golf Coaches Association Na- lot of emphasis on improving sophomore seems to indicate classes in the semesters that more George Qian led by a his favorite situation. tional All Freshman team last his best performance. While that he’s on the right track. He he took them. Balancing the single stroke. The thinnest of Qian was able to draw on year. he said many people talked attended a golf academy in his combined workload, however, margins separated him and recent experience to help him Qian’s dedication to golf about 77 as a bad day, he finds final two years of high school is not a problem. His years at the competition, but Qian had through the nail biter of a fin- has been a lifelong endeavor. it to be an arbitrary tick mark. and even has his sights set on the golf academy taught him been in this position before, ish. He said sinking the putt He started at the age of nine, He said the number did not going pro. Qian wants to start to balance golf and academic and was able to fend off the to force the playoff was “like around the same time his par- matter so much as how well out in Asia and play some mini work, giving him the ability to mounting pressure. Despite a flashback” to the end of his ents — his father is his caddy someone played. He prefers tours in pursuit of breaking excel at both. letting the lead slip by the elev- competition at the amateur at amateur tournaments more concrete numbers such into professional golf after Including a cascade of top- enth hole, Qian was able to tournament in his native Iowa, — and some of his friends as 67, his personal low score he graduates from Carnegie 10 finishes and a conference recover and tie the clubhouse where he dropped a playoff started playing. He started to for a tournament. Mellon. championship, Qian’s success lead going into the final hole. after two holes and ended up play competitively in middle In addition to the limit- Despite his future plans, on the golf course is indisput- Qian needed a par or a birdy to runner up. The familiarity of school. He says the challenge less potential to for a golfer to academics come first for the able. Even so, with a third of keep his chances alive. Despite the situation helped the Bet- and the impossibility of per- grow, Qian also touted the in- finance major. He followed this season left, Qian is not missing the green with his tendorf native ease his nerves. fection draw him to the game; dividuality of the sport. While his brother’s lead into finance, even close to done with the second shot, an excellent chip Qian, self-described as com- there’s always room to im- he admires the work ethic thinking he would prefer it to front nine of his already illus- shot set up an eight foot putt petitive and calm, backed up prove. Spending two to three of extraordinarily successful his parents’ profession, engi- trious Carnegie Mellon career. to tie up the competition. Qian his claim and sank the sec- days a week on the golf course golfers such as Tiger Woods neering. After starting out in The best is almost certainly yet sunk it, setting up a playoff. ond putt to lock down a UAA and spending plenty of time in and currently top ranked Rory the Tepper School of Business, to come.

Courtesy of CMU Athletics Department Left: Qian holds his follow through as he watches a shot. Right: Qian and a coach size up a hole before taking aim. the tartan’s arts and culture magazine march 23, 2015 / volume 109, issue 20

pillbox Haiti B3 Steubenville B4 The Mask You Live In B7 Greek Sing B10 ...this week only 3 CMU Haiti The Tartan’s publisher Laura Scherb reflects on the experience of volunteering and traveling in Haiti.

4 Steubenville School of Drama premieres original play focusing on the infamous Steubenville rape.

5 Glee Finale After enchanting audiences for six years, the musical cult classic comes to a close.

6 Series Premiere Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt from producer Tina Fey releases first season on Netflix.

7 The Mask You Live In Carnegie Mellon screens film about masculinity to encourage campus to start important dialogue. 10 Greek Sing 3 Annual Greek philanthropy event is an evening of enormous success and wonderful entertainment.

5 6 7 10 regulars...... diversions

3 Advice 11 Comics Evan dishes on how to be just timely enough Ever wonder what a walrus doctor would say? so that your friends think you’re cool. Wonder no more!

8,9 Tales from Abroad 13 Puzzles Two CMU students studying in Europe have Everyone finds people who can do puzzles two very unique journeys. very, very sexy. 15 Calendar 14 Horoscopes If you are itching to do some fun, artsy things The stars have exciting plans for everyone this around Pittsburgh, check out the calendar! week, even you.

PUBLISHER Laura Scherb EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Brian Trimboli PILLBOX EDITOR Lula Beresford COMICS EDITOR Maryyann Landlord ART EDITOR Eunice Oh PHOTO EDITOR Abhinav Gautam COPY MANAGER James Wu COVER Laura Scherb

The Tartan . Box 119 . UC Suite 103 . Carnegie Mellon University . 5000 Forbes Ave . Pittsburgh, PA 15213 . www.thetartan.org . © 2015 The Tartan Haiti trip refreshes, inspires Advice for awkward people Stepping away from CMU highlights what truly matters About arriving at the appropriate time Dear Evan, From the moment I stepped out of the airport into the They don’t want visitors to walk around and only see breathtaking heat and oppressive smells of Haiti, I the remnants of buildings that crumbled in 2010, when I don’t get out much, but when I do, I’m always realized that it had been exactly one year since I had the earthquake struck. They want you to walk around way too concerned with being the first person been truly uncomfortable — and I had missed that and notice the people who quietly go about every day, there. Especially when we go out to bars! feeling. This year was the second time I had been to making small but powerful strides toward a better life for Haiti, and the country had just as much of an impact on themselves and their children. I went and saw this show for which my me as it did the first time that I laid eyes upon its crystal dramaturgy friend did whatever it is they do, and blue waters, far-reaching dust, and stacks of houses. They want you to notice the small urban garden the plan for afterward was to go to The Yard with experiment on top of the hill and the cramped, hot tent a bunch of people to celebrate. I waited until my Living in the Carnegie Mellon bubble isn’t fulfilling, I next to it where hundreds of people stop by to pick up friend left to walk over to Walnut Street, but when remembered. Traveling to a foreign country, another plastic baggies filled with pills, hopefully enough to I got there, no one was there yet, and I panicked. world, so close yet so distanced, is. Seeing how sustain them until the next clinic opens. I ended up hiding in some bushes across the determined the citizens of Haiti are to realize their street until everyone else showed up, rather than dreams of living in a better world reminds you that you They want you to see the children dancing and realize wait alone at the bar. can make an impact. that they live in Cité Soleil, where gangs once ruled and thousands live in poverty. What can I do to start being ok with being first to If a woman who is married to an abusive, unemployed a party? man and has three children and one on the way can get They want you to walk into the orphanage that they run a loan of $64 and change her life, what’s your excuse? and be touched by the fact that it’s run not as a corrupt Best, business, but as a family household where everyone is Failing Incessantly to Reach Seat at The Inn It’s hard to find the words to sum up all that I witnessed sister and brother. Subsequent To Huddle of Ever-Weary Others, and experienced in the packed, weeklong adventure, but Really Starting to get Ticked it all boils down to a lesson about culture. They want you to hear the history of the country and realize that not only were they the first independent Dear FIRST IS THE WORST, For a country that has somehow sustained itself through black nation to revolt, but that they’ve been suffering natural disasters, human disasters, deadly diseases, and from the remnants of imperialism ever since. I don’t know if hiding in bushes across from a bar abuse from neighboring empires, Haiti and the people (and next to a shadier bar) late at night is the best who live there remain mysteriously optimistic. They want you to look past the homes made of wooden thing you could have done. I’m not worried about stakes and tarps that have a faded USAID logo on it and you getting robbed — I’m worried about you scaring They refuse, proudly, any help or the slightest suggestion see the people that live in them; the people who, if they the crap out of some drunk guys that see a pair of of giving up. When we visited the internally displaced had the same opportunities as you and I, would be the eyes staring out of the bushes. Plus, if someone had persons camp and asked how we could help, we were world’s next star soccer player, the next Monet, the next to throw up, I’d imagine those bushes would be at met with proud, blank stares. Einstein. the top of a short list of places to do that.

“We don’t want your money. We want your support. It’s hard, though. For years, we’ve been bombarded with I recommend you consult your home copy of We want you to use your influence and your position to photos and stories from on-the-ground reporters who see Magical Drafts and Potions for a concoction that spread our story and make people remember us,” the only the evil and the hopelessness. Our hostess, Rea Dol, might fit the bill, maybe one that can help boost self- director of the camp said. who is so incredible she deserves an article of her own, confidence in uncomfortable settings. If you don’t aptly summed Haiti up: “If you just listened to what you happen to have the book, you can borrow it from heard on TV and the radio, why would you ever come m… my roommate. Yeah. to Haiti? You must see it yourself to know that Haiti has hope.” If you’d rather not go through the trouble — making potions is difficult, not to mention demoralizing — Not everyone will go to Haiti. Not everyone will see what then I would pregame so heavily that you’ll only care we saw in these past two years and be moved to action. about showing up early if you remember the night at But everyone should know of the hope that exists there all. This is assuming, of course, that you won’t just and feel it themselves. Because the most important thing decide to get drunk at home and watch Parks and that I learned in Haiti is that no matter what nature, Recreation, which is certainly a viable option. dictators, doctors, or police throw at you, if you’re breathing at the end of the day, you’re lucky to be where If you don’t want to go changin’, then I suggest you are. And from there, it’s your duty to put yourself incessantly texting your friends once you get to the into making life better for yourself and those around you. venue, urging them to hurry up. Let’s face it: You’re not early — they’re always late. Laura Scherb | Publisher But really, those bushes must be disgusting, Evan Kahn These Haitian homes are overcrowded and tightly packed, creating a moving and beautiful horizon. Need advice? Send queries to [email protected]. Laura Scherb | Publisher

travel pillbox 03.23.15 3 Steubenville premieres at CMU School of Drama Original production moves audiences with the exploration of infamous trial and its cultural ramifications

I do not exaggerate when I say that everyone needs to see appears to fall into rhythm and begins breathing along of empowerment. I couldn’t help but feel empowered along Steubenville. Even though the School of Drama’s debut with them. Where the transcript was especially painful, the with her. At one point, Griggs breaks out of the dispassionate production of this play — conceived, directed, and written by communal breathing was a comfort. trial readings and assumes the role of Jane Doe. Voice drama masters students — closed this weekend, I have high breaking, she asks a witness to the crime — someone she hopes that Steubenville won’t end here. Not only is it a good Equally fascinating is the play’s “Sleeping Beauty” element, once trusted — why he did nothing to stop it. The distinctive show, but, more than that, it’s an important one. which serves as an allegory for the Steubenville case and sounds of sniffling sounded throughout the audience. rape culture in general. The show opens with a lighthearted The show dramatizes events surrounding the real-life 2012 parody of the classic Disney love song (“One day soon, I’ll One of the most admirable things about Steubenville is the sexual assault of a high school girl (referred to throughout find my true love,” etc.). But what starts out as comic relief obvious respect its creators have for Jane Doe. Her rape is as “Jane Doe” or “redacted”) in the small, sports-heavy Ohio steadily descends into eeriness as it becomes clear the never depicted on stage, and the more explicit and gratuitous town of Steubenville. Jane Doe was blackout drunk at a party extent to which toxic ideas about love and sex are deeply parts of the trial are purposefully excluded. Trigger warnings when 16-year-old football players Ma’lik Richmond and Trent entrenched in our society. Even our hallmarks of childhood adorn every piece of the play’s marketing campaign. Its Mays repeatedly raped her. They proceeded to share texts, have been marked with the belief that when the maiden says brochure is thoroughly educational, featuring information videos, and photos of the incident on various social media “no,” she must be chased, and when the maiden is sleeping, and insight on Carnegie Mellon’s own “battle against sexual before Jane Doe herself was aware of what had happened. she can still be kissed. assault.” Far from exploiting Jane Doe’s trauma, Steubenville alone among heaps of media coverage seems to listen to The Steubenville case made headlines nationally for months. Also contributing to Steubenville’s uniqueness are Jane Doe’s voice, not to mention the millions of women like So, many of you may be familiar with it and as skeptical as I interwoven interviews with a diverse group of female her. was that a show centered on such a sensitive subject could students on love, sex, and feminism. As silent videos of the be at once tasteful and effective. My nervousness abated interviews play for the audience, the actors serve as the “I want people to walk away with a more open mind,” a good deal when I started worrying about actually being women’s voices — mimicking everything from their accents said Fifer, adding that plenty of people who think they’re able to snag a ticket, considering all performances sold out to their facial expressions. Questions such as “Did you have supporting women contribute to a toxic culture without within an hour of the box office opening. Little did I know, a sexual awakening?” add a fun voyeuristic element to the knowing it. “I am part of the culture.... I can help with this, Steubenville would completely obliterate all of my half-formed show; “Do you ever feel objectified?” had every woman in the but I can also make it worse.” Fifer wants every woman expectations. audience nodding along; and “What would you say to Jane watching Steubenville to feel “supported and not alone.” Doe?” gave me goose bumps. On a technical level, the show was among the most The reason why I wish everyone could see Steubenville is complicated I have seen. My gaze was immediately drawn to While junior acting majors Zach Fifer and Colin Whitney that there is so much to learn from it, especially in a society the several television screens directed toward the audience, make vital contributions to a brilliant ensemble performance, where feminism is often a bad word and convicted rapists the onstage camera on its tripod, and the three microphone junior acting major Molly Griggs should especially be can be back on their football teams within two years. stands in a line — each of which would play an integral applauded. Griggs’s solo Beyoncé dance number could have Steubenville’s message — beautifully and innovatively part in the narrative. The multimedia integrated seamlessly been comical or just bizarre, but her barefaced commitment expressed — is more potent now than ever. throughout is all too appropriate, considering the extent to to it really made me believe it was her own personal source which the Steubenville case was defined by news coverage and social media.

To this end, heartbreaking text messages between Jane Doe and the perpetrators are displayed in real-time, and the actors assume the roles of television news reporters, re-enacting real commentary on the case. The audience is caught up in a flurry of victim-blaming, misogyny, and ridiculousness; it comes to a head when two male Fox News reporters gang up on a female correspondent, insisting that rapists are a distant, irreformable subcategory of men that women should defend themselves against with firearms. The choice to have technicians operate onstage heighten the intimacy and immediacy that the script already impresses upon the audience.

In its execution, Steubenville is no less than groundbreaking — a feat for which master’s student in directing Eleanor Bishop should take due credit. The “meat” of the show is the trial transcript, read in segments into the microphones with minimal vocal inflection. The clinical text is colored, however, by the actors tossing, crumbling, and otherwise letting each page fall from their hands after it is read. At particularly meaningful lines, they look straight ahead — giving the audience a moment to judge for themselves — and they take a synchronized deep breath. Before long, the audience Courtesy of Cleveland News via Flickr Creative Commons The cast attended Richmond’s first football game back at Steubenville High School last summer. They were most dis- turbed by how much Steubenville seemed just like any other American community. theatre 4 pillbox 03.23.15 Fans witness the end of six season musical journey Glee airs season finale after years chronicling the lives of high school musical club members A television program is only as good as its series finale. A pilot is rarely well done; they tend to be sloppy, since writers are still in the process of finding the show’s voice, and its characters’ identities. By the third episode, episodes tend to become more cohesive and in-tune with where the show is going and what is driving it. Season finales are meant to be incomplete, with little character development and a whole lot of buildup; the central idea of these episodes is to leave the viewers wanting for more. However, the final episode of a series is final — it should leave viewers fulfilled and characters sufficiently developed so as to have some form of closure.

A very small amount of TV shows have been able to pull off seamless series finales that have truly delivered everything they needed to. Scrubs, Friends, How I Met Your Mother, Desperate Housewives, and Parks & Recreation all understood that in order to truly deliver a series finale, there must be some dwelling on the past and some looking into the future, and,­­­ most important of all, closing complicated plot points.

This week a show both beloved and hated by many ended on Friday night. Glee has had a lot of ups and downs these Courtesy of Keith McDuffee via Flickr Creative Commons past six years. The finale was divided into two parts, both As the characters of Glee moved on with their lives, new faces emerged, resulting in cast changes and adjustments. of which were well executed. The show’s creators decided to format the first episode of the finale like they did the first important part of the episode was the one that focused on enhanced the sweet moments shared by the cast. That season: with grit, passion, and extremely flawed characters. Finn Hudson, the character played by Cory Monteith, who being said, the final song, “I Lived” by One Republic, The second part was truer to the current development of died in 2013. This episode was not about new songs, new perfectly encompassed the meaning of the show and the the program and had everything we have come to expect characters, new problems, or what will happen, rather, it show’s purpose while showcasing the cast’s immense from the show: big numbers, big characters, and big was made to redirect our attention to the beginning, to the talent. emotionally driven moments. times when the characters were driven by very different objectives and when the future seemed most bleak. The Finally, the show remained true to its origins by going to The first episode of the series finale provided a very second episode of the two-hour finale, titled “Dreams Come four of Mr. Schuester’s (Matthew Morrison), the original important feature for the entire series: It gave background True,” gave every character his or her happy ending. While club director, lessons. In a flashback, we see Lillian Adler for the characters, ensuring that viewers developed a that may seem like naïve writing, it holds true to the show’s (the coach that inspired Mr. Schuester) telling her students sense of just how far the characters have come. The most history. Viewers have to remember that the show is called that “Glee is about opening yourself up to joy”; in another Glee; it is about joy, about finding your way in life. Each flashback Rachel Berry (Lea Michele) says that “when we character was given enough time to say their goodbyes look back on our time here, we should be proud for what and take their final bows. Some of these happy endings we did and who we included.” In the scenes set in the seemed far-fetched — especially Sue Sylvester’s (Jane future, Rachel shows growth; she used to say that being Lynch) — however, others were extremely appropriate and a part of something special makes you special. Now, she showcased the importance of this show in pop culture. said, “being a part of something special does not make you special. Something is special because you are a part of Glee has impacted pop culture in many ways. It currently it.” Finally, in one of the closing scenes, Sue Sylvester said holds the record for most charted songs by an artist in the that she is proud of what the Glee club taught everyone Billboard Hot 100 as of 2013. The show’s focus on music that passed through it and that her experiences with them has helped bring musical theater to younger audiences that changed her for the better. She goes on to say that the club might not have the chance to experience it. It also made “sees the world not as it is, but as it should be,” and that it an effort to promote the arts in school. During its run, the is one of the bravest things people can do. After her speech, show covered almost every single musical style and most of the club performed for the last time, reuniting all of the the biggest names in music, as well as some more obscure voices that had gone through the club for one last moment songs. gave one of the most tender moments in the entire tenure of the show. This finale was not perfect, and the middle The finale’s music had some high notes and some off- was somewhat off, but it showcased how the show lived: key moments. Certain songs did not fit the characters or starting strong, struggling through, and ending somehow Courtesy of Vague on the How via Wikimedia Creative Commons the moment they were living, such as “Someday We’ll stronger. The death of star Cory Monteith in 2013 was a tragedy, Be Together” by Diana Ross and The Supremes, and one that the Glee cast had to work through onscreen. could have been replaced with more tender ballads that José Lopez | Staffwriter

finale pillbox 03.23.15 5 Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt releases first season Tina Fey-produced Netflix original almost hits the mark while occasionally delivering off-key jokes

Before starting Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, I was ready to jump on another comedy show. Each time I opened Netflix over break, the front page screamed at me with the show’s aggressively bright promo, tagged with the line “Created by Tina Fey and Robert Carlock.” I suppose that’s what got me to watch the show in the first place — Tina freaking Fey, star of 30 Rock and cast member and writer for Saturday Night Live. It was going to be amazing.

But then I actually watched it. For background, the show follows Kimmy Schmidt, one of the “Indiana Mole Women,” a group of women who were kept locked in a bunker by a cult leader. The women are rescued one day, a bystander’s testimony gets auto-tuned and goes viral, and the women become celebrities in their hometown and across America. Deprived of her formative teen years, Kimmy decides to stay in New York on a whim, fending for herself with little knowledge of current culture.

Only one season is available on Netflix right now with Courtesy of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt via Netflix a total of 13 episodes less than half an hour each. I Ellie Kemper, who plays the titular character Kimmy Schmidt, brings buoyancy, humor, and spunk to the role. breezed through it within a day (which says a lot about my binge-watching habits, I guess), and while there were some laughs here and there, my reaction for most by dying her hair blond and wearing blue contacts. of the season was basically, “Haha! ... what?” While this pokes some fun at white privilege, since Jacqueline actively seeks to live a wealthy lifestyle in While the show has numerous funny moments and New York, the fact that the actress who plays her is one-liners, there are other situations and setups that blatantly white doesn’t make each scene with her any are borderline insensitive. I say borderline because, less awkward. In the season finale, Jacqueline attacks to be honest, I’m not sure whether they cross the line a marching band mascot after realizing she can’t hide into offensive territory, even if the show’s writers tried from her past. She crushes the head of the costume — to make light of murkier topics. The fact that the show a Native American head — and proceeds to howl to pokes fun at women who were kidnapped and detained the sky. It’s a bizarre situation, and ultimately a bizarre, for 15 years and forced to believe that the world had distastefully done subplot. ended by a charismatic cult leader is pretty dark (the situation is vaguely reminiscent of the Ariel Castro That being said, the cast actors embody each character kidnappings that made national headlines back in so well that I couldn’t imagine anyone else playing 2013). their parts. Ellie Kemper (from The Office) plays the naive and overly excited Kimmy Schmidt effortlessly. The show also sometimes successfully and comedically Tituss Burgess (Titus) and Jane Krakowski (Jacqueline) addresses race issues, but other times doesn’t. depict a level of shallowness and self-absorption that Kimmy’s best friend Titus, a gay black man who’s only they could pull off. And of course, Jon Hamm plays trying to make it in New York’s show business, gets the gorgeous and frustratingly charismatic cult leader harassed by a construction worker and notes, “Oh, I’m Reverend Richard Wayne Gary Wayne. not even gonna know which box to check on the hate crime form.” I laughed a lot at Titus’s remarks, and Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt has received an his weird, random music video “Pinot Noir.” Titus is overwhelmingly positive response from critics and unapologetically funny, and is quick to call out others audience members alike, but it has some unforgivable on wrongdoing. When the women who were kidnapped shortcomings. The show still has a lot of potential, and are discovered, a news screen can be seen with large, I hope that it improves in its second season so that bold words “white women found” at the bottom of the viewers don’t have to think, “Is it okay to laugh at this?” screen, followed by a much smaller line of text reading throughout each episode. “Hispanic woman also found,” referring to Donna Marie Nuñez (played by Sol Miranda). On the other hand, Courtesy of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt via Netflix another character, Jacqueline Voorhees (played by Kimmy’s best friend Titus fills the show with larger- Jane Krakowski) hides her Native American heritage Anne-Sophie Kim | Layout Manager than-life hilarity and random and dramatic moments.

netflix 6 pillbox 03.23.15 The Mask You Live In examines masculinity CMU screening of film discusses the construction of male gender stereotypes

Gender roles often have disastrous consequences for brought him to kill another human was partially the feeling of Toward the middle of the movie, they showed a group of people who struggle to fill their assigned stereotype. Last powerlessness and feeling beholden to another person. middle school boys working with a mentor to help break out Wednesday, Carnegie Mellon had a special showing of a new of the “masculine” mask. They each had sheets of paper, film,The Mask You Live In, that focuses on how society’s There was also a strong emphasis throughout the movie on and they were supposed to represent the inside and the narrow definition of masculinity can cause more harm than the relationship between fathers and sons, and the kind of outside of themselves. On one side they wrote the faces they good. parenting behavior that might exacerbate negative societal present each day: happy, silly, fun, tough. When coming in expectations for men and boys. Numerous men throughout and sitting down, and writing on the paper, the kids were all The documentary was written, directed, and produced by the film discussed how their relationship with their fathers or joking around and messing with each other and laughing. Jennifer Siebel Newsom, who performed the same roles in the absence of their fathers, has affected their feelings of self- the creation of the popular filmMiss Representation. Where worth. In one heartwarming scene, a man talked about how It wasn’t until they threw their papers into the middle and Miss Representation examines the feminine stereotype, The his son had explained to his father that he was a sensitive picked up someone else’s, and read the opposite side: angry, Mask You Live In takes a similar look at how masculinity is boy, and that raising him as a single father since then has sad, hurt. Then it grew quiet. They started leaning back constructed. Newsom partially funded the film on Kickstarter, caused him to get him more into contact with his own in the chairs, or folding up inward on themselves. Some of where she raised over $100,000. feelings. Every week they put notes or letters to each other them put arms around each other. “That’s not a coincidence in a box and then read them on Sundays. The notes often that all of you wrote something like pain or sadness on that The movie surveyed a wide array of the troubles faced contain feelings, thoughts, and demonstrations of affection. paper,” the teacher said. by boys and men as they try to navigate the realm of masculinity. A common theme was the command “be a Filmmakers punctuated moving interviews and powerful This moment really struck me, because it just fit with man” and the cultural baggage that comes with living up footage with statistics, and the statistics were frightening. my middle school — and onward — experience. It’s not to that ideal. To “be a man” means to not cry, to not be Adolescent boys are more likely to drop out of school, be ordinarily okay for guys to open up and have “weak” sensitive, to not let people mess with you, to respond with expelled, or even commit suicide than their female peers. emotions or to be vulnerable. They have to fit into either the violence, to be angry, to drink, to womanize. Experts in psychology and sociology used these statistics “strong and silent” stereotype or the “man-child” who never as a jumping off point to discuss substance abuse and grows up. Neither one has room for close bonds and shared The film included interviews with a wide variety of depression among teenage boys, and how acting out is emotion. I felt tears, and wondered if this was the time for me individuals, both male and female, as well as clips of often not taken seriously. Instead of delving into the reasons, to leave the room, as we were told in the beginning that it conversations men have with each other about masculinity. thoughts, and feelings behind a young man’s actions, often was okay to do. Then I realized that I shouldn’t be ashamed One of the more jarring and interesting clips included in parents and community members simply write them off as of crying. the film was the conversation between a discussion leader “a bad kid.” The film emphasized the need to look beyond and a group of inmates. Each of the incarcerated men bad behavior for root causes and ways of solving a national ruminated on how their perceptions of being male or feelings epidemic of underachieving boys. Thatcher Montgomery | Junior Staffwriter of emasculation may have contributed to their criminal activity. One man confessed that he thought what had moviesinmcconomy McConomy Auditorium, CUC

Whiplash Wild Friday, March 27 10:30 p.m. Saturday, March 28 10:30 p.m. Sunday, March 29 8:30 p.m.

Whiplash tells the intense story of a young jazz drummer In Wild, Reese Witherspoon plays a young woman, Andrew (played by Miles Teller) attending a prestgious shaken by the death of her mother, followed by the end musical conservatory. Andrew’s talents get discovered of her marriage. She then makes the impulsive decision by Fletcher (J.K. Simmons), a ruthless and often abusive to hike the West Coast, from the Mojave Desert through instructor, who leads the school’s most exclusive jazz Washington State, by herself and with absolutely no ensemble. Andrew’s drive to become “one of the experience. Her journey is told alongside flashbacks greats” paired with Fletcher’s physically and emotionally to her childhood, adolescence and marriage. All of abusive tactics results in Andrew’s obsession to achieve the side-by-side narratives foreground the struggles perfection. In doing so, he gets pushed to his absolute of her past to highlight her healing process and show limits. Whiplash was nominated for 5 Academy Awards the importance of moving forward despite the odds. this year, and won for Best Performance by an Actor in a Wild received Academy Award nominations this year Supporting Role (J.K. Simmons), Best Film Editing, and for Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role Best Sound Mixing. (Reese Witherspoon) and for Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role (Laura Dern, who played Witherspoon’s character’s mother).

movies pillbox 03.23.15 7 Tales from Abroad: traveling by yourself Experiencing foreign cities and people on your own leads to unique and varied tales I never knew how much I liked traveling on my own until I did it for the first time. It’s like the opposite of losing my virginity; before I went to Dublin I had all these fears that it was going to be horrible and I’d have a miserable, boring time. But then it happened, and it was actually a wonder- fully stimulating experience that I didn’t want to end. It was a bit messy, though, thanks to Arthur Guinness.

There’s nothing quite like the sense of adventure that comes from slinging a backpack over your shoulder and boarding a budget airline flight to an unknown city. No real plan, no concrete idea of how I’m going to make it to the hostel, just trust in myself that I’m capable of making it all up as I go along.

Without having another set of tastes and interests to entertain, I can treat a city as my personal playground. I can wander the streets, peeping in to various stores and attractions, staying at each as long as I want. It was this aimlessness that led me to such treasures as the Irish National Gallery, the Musee de l’Orangerie and its fantas- Joey Peiser | Junior Photographer tic room of Monet’s massive water lilies canvases, and an Exploring other countries and their wonderful sights, such as the Musée d’Orsay in Paris, only leads to more adventures. absinthe shop. I never thought it was possible for such a small amount of liquid to get me that buzzed for that long; I wasn’t fully right until three metro rides and a twenty minute walk back to the hostel.

This “rule of one,” that is when you travel by yourself, can only be fully proved by its opposite. I have taken trips with other people, and it was an enjoyable experience. It was nice to have company; people to share jokes, meals, and experiences with. I can assure you that the days definitely went by faster with others, and there were certainly more pictures (I loathe the idea of selfies, and the more people I meet the more alone I feel in this destination). But there were sacrifices, like being shaken out of a sleep and into a dreadful hangover at 9 a.m. to go tour the Edinburgh Castle. How anyone can drift into a peaceful sleep at a hostel is beyond me; the bunk beds are rocks that squeak with each breath you take, there’s always at least one person snoring like a freight train, and countless other unexplained noises that last all night. Somehow, though, this guy could do it, and I resented him the whole day for it. Democratic processes meant every decision needed to be debated endlessly until two members of the group sur- Joey Peiser | Junior Photographer rendered that “they didn’t care, whatever you want to do.” Journeying in new places alone can lead you to beautiful places, like the coast of the fishing village Howth, outside of Dublin. There was an extended period of time spent searching for little bells in gift shops. place to sleep and having a group of drunk men in track because my dress and wide-eyes are a dead giveaway that Traveling with others also means you meet fewer people. In suits standing outside a shady strip club start screaming at I’m American. I will love every minute of it. the traveler’s bar in Paris I would spend every night with a you in Polish and following you down the street. That kind great group of people, like Clinton the hilarious Australian of stuff only happens when you’re by yourself, and I’ll likely and the ever-smiling Rodrigo, the Brazilian who kept me remember that moment until dementia snatches it up. Joey Peiser | Staffwriter stocked with cigarettes the entire stay. There was also the kind group of Italians who passed around free shots like In a few days I’ll be boarding a flight to spend two weeks in they were sticks of gum at a rave. Granted, traveling with other places I’ve never been where they speak languages others is just generally a safer experience; there was noth- I haven’t the faintest knowledge of. I will get lost. I will ing resembling wandering around unfamiliar Manchester struggle to understand what exactly is being offered on streets choked thick with fog at 1 a.m., searching for a a menu. People on the street will harass me for money One of the best parts of going abroad is the people you meet and the friendships you make.

travel 8 pillbox 03.23.15 Tales from Abroad: traveling by yourself Tales from Abroad: the charm of Granada Experiencing foreign cities and people on your own leads to unique and varied tales Studying overseas in smaller cities gives students an opportunity for understanding

Odds are, you haven’t heard of the city I’m studying abroad architecture and its fascinating history. But even loving are friendly and eager to practice their language skills. The in this semester. It’s called Granada, and it is in the south of Barcelona as I did, I was a little overwhelmed by the sheer Centro de Lenguas Modernas hosts intercambio events (lit- Spain. It’s a city, but a small one, with a population of around size of the city. Over 1.6 million people live within 40 square erally, “exchange”) in which students can get together and 240,000 people. (Pittsburgh, for context, has a population miles. I was only there for a few days, it’s true, but I think practice, usually their English or their Spanish, respectively, of around 300,000.) Despite Granada’s lack of international that the city is so massive that engaging with it in a mean- but German and French come up, too. prominence, it’s an absolutely fantastic place to spend a ingful way would be proved difficult for me, even with five semester. months to explore. (Plus, Barcelona is far more expensive The people at the intercambios tend to be really interest- than a city like Granada, so even if I was there for five ing; I’ve had some of the most striking conversations from To start with, I should probably explain how I chose to spend months, I would most definitely be broke by the end of it.) my time here in Spain at those types of events. Just last five months living here. I’m not gonna lie, I kind of picked it week, I spent over an hour talking with a physics major from at random. I’d heard of the city, through a class I took on pre- Speaking of ways that Granada is particularly wallet-friend- outside of Granada about what it was like for him to grow modern Spanish history in my freshman year. Most of what I ly, the city is one of the few places left in Spain that still up in a country that was a dictatorship until the late 1970s. remembered about it predated 1492, which was shockingly offers free tapas with every round of drinks you order. Tapas, Talking to him made me feel how much I take for granted, not that relevant to life in Granada today. But when I was which are basically small snacks served in bars, can range having grown up in a system that’s been a representative looking over lists of cities in Spain that I could study in, I from delicious to disappointing, given that in most places, democracy for so long. While United States politics are far remembered the name and said, “Hey, that looks cool.” you can’t actually pick what they give you. But given that from perfect, we don’t have the widespread cultural distrust the vast majority of tapas that I’ve had here have been some of government that exists here in Spain. Lucky for me, Granada is a really awesome place to spend variant on bread and cheese and some kind of pork product, five months of your life. One of the things I love most about it’s hard to go wrong. Granada isn’t a big metropolitan center, and it’s not exactly the city is how small it is. I feel like I can experience and a player on the international stage. But for the last three engage with the city’s character in a way that wouldn’t But the thing I’ve been enjoying most here is meeting and months, I’ve really been enjoying my time here, and am be possible in a larger city. I’ve visited both Madrid and getting to know new people. Granada is a college town. looking forward to the next two months before I head back Barcelona since coming here. I liked Madrid well enough, The Universidad de Granada, which was founded in 1531, to the U.S. but didn’t really have a good sense of the city’s unique is one of the largest universities in Spain, with 60,000 stu- style. Spending time there just felt like being in any other dents. There’s also a large international student program. To enormous international city. I adored Barcelona, and I felt receive a degree from the university, students have to pass a that it definitely had a much more unique culture, what foreign language test, and many of them pick English. This with the city’s clear division between Gothic and Modernist all amounts to there being a large population of people who Chloe Thompson | Contributing Editor

Courtesy of Chloe Thompson Courtesy of Bert Kaufmann via Flickr Creative Commons One of the best parts of going abroad is the people you meet and the friendships you make. The city of Granada is smaller than Pittsburgh but boasts a wealth of culture and attractions.

travel pillbox 03.23.15 9 Greek Sing raises over $86,000 for charity Local organization Our Clubhouse benefits from entertaining evening presented by CMU Greeks As a non-Greek affiliated student who had never seen Greek Sing before, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect Saturday night. As I walked up to the Soldiers and Sailors Memorial Hall, I was surprised to see the performers outside taking photos in costume. The excitement was already high. The performers themselves filled up most of the first- level seating in their elaborate costumes and makeup.

The show began with an impressive, fast-paced step performance by Lambda Phi Epsilon. The remaining numbers were split into doubles (a fraternity-sorority pair) and singles (one fraternity or sorority). Some groups chose to parse together songs and dialogue from a movie or musical, while others rewrote the story into a college setting. One group wrote an original musical. Almost all the groups used a live band, which I found particularly impressive.

In the singles category, Alpha Epsilon Pi took first place with their hilarious Spamalot, put in the context of Amelia Britton | Junior Photographer fraternity brothers on a Monty Python-style adventure to The brothers of Alpha Epsilon Pi had the entire audience laughing during their version of Monty Python’s Spamalot. White Castle. The original musical’s “You won’t succeed on Broadway [if you don’t have any Jews]” was a particular hit. sections were witty and the song selection was well done. especially. The group tap number was dazzling. This group The production was also littered with kosher jokes and jabs They deserved more laughs than they got. may have had the highest all-around production value of the at other fraternities, like Sigma Alpha Epsilon’s cardboard The other singles performances were School of Rock by night, with their 1920s costumes and sparkling set. cutout costumes. The win was thoroughly deserved — it Sigma Nu, about an underdog team competing for glory, Delta Delta Delta and Delta Tau Delta teamed up for was the wittiest originally rewritten piece of the night. and Star Trek by Delta Upsilon, about the crew of the Wicked, which showed incredible vocal power. The soloist Starship Enterprise. Both of these included impressive on “defying gravity” won over the crowd, but I was also The second place prize in singles went to Sigma Alpha dance breaks and had quite a bit of original dialogue. impressed by their use of ensemble voices to elevate the Epsilon for their original musical, Grocery Story. The group songs. fraternity used its signature painted cardboard costumes The doubles performances tended to stick to source with short jean shorts. It opened with a Romeo and Juliet- material more closely, but the performances were just as The doubles winners, Kappa Alpha Theta and Sigma Phi inspired monologue and progressed to a feud between impressive. The Lion King by Kappa Kappa Gamma and Epsilon, deserved their victory with Seussical the Musical. health foods and junk food at a local Giant Eagle. The hero, Phi Delta Theta included very impressive giraffe costumes, The group pieces were stunning and the solo voices were a Hot Pocket, had one of the best voices of the night. The beautiful group dance choreography, and a clever transition perfectly suited to their roles. The costumes and set were show included an impressive selection of foods in costume, from young Simba to his adult form (switching the actor’s fanciful. Some of my favorite touches included Horton and small details like health food yoga sessions were race and gender). the Elephant in an argyle sweater and the Cat in the Hat especially funny. The foods resolved their differences when making faces and strange reactions in the background of they discovered that healthy items taste better combined Aladdin by alpha Kappa Delta Phi and Sigma Chi was a each scene. with junk food, like Twinkies and tofu. Both bizarre and whirlwind of colorful, beautiful costumes and impressive funny, SAE deserved its second-place win with this piece. group dancing. The set was particularly impressive, and At the end of the evening, everyone was reminded why the writing included a nice balance of Carnegie Mellon Greek Sing happens at all. As a philanthropy event, Greek Alpha Phi received third place for their rendition of Mean jokes. I would have liked to see this piece place in the final Sing raised over $86,000 this year. A representative from Girls, which also included a song from Legally Blonde and a judging. Our Clubhouse, a cancer support organization, gave a plot referencing The Hunger Games, closing with a Taylor volunteering award to Delta Gamma sorority. Shraddha Swift song. The story was more far-reaching across genres Pitch Perfect by Delta Gamma and Pi Kappa Alpha had Joshi, a postdoctoral fellow in Mechanical Engineering, and source material, so Alpha Phi was able to vary the the most original writing of the doubles shows, including spoke about her experience surviving leukemia and how dialogue and make the piece more original. I appreciated fun jokes about “the other CMU” (it took place at Central Our Clubhouse helped her. She brought the audience to a that Trang Pak was the only girl to emerge from the arena Michigan University). I wish they had used more a cappella standing ovation. It was satisfying to know that the people alive. singing, but their live band was especially enthusiastic. around me, still in makeup and costumes, were just as enthusiastic about supporting Our Clubhouse as they were Though they did not place, Sigma Tau Gamma’s Avenue The winners in the doubles category were Thoroughly about the competition. Q was funny and relevant to Carnegie Mellon, with songs Modern Millie, Wicked, and Seussical the Musical, taking about pining for college days and overcoming everyday third, second, and first place respectively. All three shows stress. It was endearing, but fewer audience members were impressive. were familiar with this musical and may have found it jarring (one song is titled “Everyone’s a little bit racist,” and Thoroughly Modern Millie was charming, as done by Alpha Gary Coleman makes regular appearances). The rewritten Chi Omega and Kappa Sigma. The soloist as Millie stood out Amelia Britton | Assistant Copy Manager

greek sing 10 pillbox 03.23.15 Snap by Nehemiah Russell

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comics pillbox 03.23.15 11 Pen by Alex Culang and Raynato Castro

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Filbert Cartoons by L.A. Bonté

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comics 12pillbox 03.23.15 Sudoku Puzzle: Intermediate Difficulty Maze Puzzle: Hard Difficulty

Sudoku courtesy of www.krazydad.com Maze courtesy of www.krazydad.com

Fill all empty squares using numbers 1 to 9. No number may Enter the maze from the left bottom arrow and find your way be used in the same row or column more than once. through the maze.

Solutions from March 2

Crossword Sudoku Maze

puzzles pillbox 03.23.15 13 Horoscopes Find you spirit elements Birth Moon: Budding Trees aries Animal: Falcon march 21–april 19 Affinity Color: Yellow

Birth Moon: Frogs Return taurus Animal: Beaver april 20–may 20 Affinity Color: Blue

Birth Moon: Corn Planting gemini Animal: Deer may 21–june 21 Affinity Color: Green

Birth Moon: Strong Sun cancer Animal: Woodpecker june 22–july 22 Affinity Color: Pink

Birth Moon: Ripe Berries Moon leo Animal: Sturgeon july 23–aug. 22 Affinity Color: Red Crossword courtesy of BestCrosswords.com

Birth Moon: Harvest Across own virgo Animal: Brown Bear D aug. 23–sept. 22 Affinity Color: Purple 1. High-fives 1. Meager 6. Bounce back 2. Director Wertmuller 10. The ___ the limit! 3. Prefix with meter 14. French textile city 4. Abundant Birth Moon: Ducks Fly 15. Hgt. 5. Some mattresses libra Animal: Raven 16. Gator’s cousin 6. Causing goose bumps sept. 23–oct. 22 Affinity Color: Brown 17. Bur y 7. Scottish social unit 18. Infrequent 8. Not him 19. Verdi heroine 9. Supervise 20. Preserve 10. Milan’s La ___ scorpio Birth Moon: Freeze Up 22. Wheel 11. Shrimplike crustaceans Animal: Snake 24. Story 12. Warble oct. 23–nov. 21 Affinity Color: Orange 25. Normally 13. Fearsome 26. Most reasonable 21. Choir member 29. French summers 23. Boots 30. Cockney greeting 25. Say Birth Moon: Long Snows sagittarius 31. Concerned with childbirth 26. Tennis matches are divided into these Animal: Owl 37. Doughnut-shaped surface 27. Baseball family name nov. 22–dec. 21 Affinity Color: Black 39. End for Siam 28. Workers’ rights org. 40. Turkish palace 29. Blue book filler 41. Secondary 32. Light grayish brown Birth Moon: Earth Renewal 44. Franklin D.’s mother 33. Turned over again 45. Lethargic 34. Dies ___ capricorn Animal: Snow Goose dec. 22–jan. 19 46. Regard 35. Part of TLC Affinity Color: White 48. Marsh gas 36. Former name of Thailand 52. Organization to promote theater 38. Eliot’s Marner 53. In danger 42. Asses Birth Moon: Rest and Cleansing 54. Engrossed 43. Hankerings aquarius Animal: Otter 58. Storage shelter 47. Straight man jan. 20–feb. 18 59. Canadian gas brand 48. Pool stroke Affinity Color: Turquoise 61. Alamogordo’s county 49. Early anesthetic 62. Golf’s Ballesteros 50. Rome’s Fontana di ___ 63. Age unit 51. Conceals Birth Moon: Big Winds 64. Bottled spirit 52. Scrub (a mission) pisces Animal: Wolf 65. Greek goddess of strife 54. Slippery ___ eel feb. 19–march 20 Affinity Color: Silver 66. Transmitted 55. Nota ___ 67. Perfect places 56. “___ Brockovich” 57. Female rabbits Maryyann Landlord | Comics Editor 60. Spot horoscopes 14pillbox 03.23.15 Wednesday 3/25/15 Sunday 3/29/15

BOYTOY. A Dry White Season. The Underground. 7 p.m. Sanger Lecture Hall, Chatham University. 6 p.m. Classifieds AB Underground will host the Brooklyn-based rock band As part of the Sembène Film and Arts Festival, named BOYTOY. Their first self-titled EP has been described as a after African filmmaker Ousmane Sembène, Chatham Change kids’ lives with KEYS AmeriCorps. Join fusion between 1960s surf jams and 1990s grunge rock. will feature the film A Dry White Season. Directed by the a team of over 90 members at 20 Pittsburgh The event is funded by your student activities fee. celebrated filmmaker Euzhan Palcy, the film deals with summer camps for one unforgettable summer. the subject of Apartheid in South Africa. Admission and Earn $3,241 throughout the summer and a A Winged Victory for the Sullen. parking for the screening are free, and there will also be $1,493 education award upon completion. May Andy Warhol Museum. 8 p.m. pizza and popcorn. 26 – Aug 12. As part of their Sound Series concerts, the Andy Warhol Visit www.keysservicecorps.org or email aaron. museum presents A Winged Victory for the Sullen, an Ongoing [email protected]. ambient music duo. The show will also feature loscil, who also plays experimental ambient and electronic music. Oblivion Tickets are $12 for students and $15 for the general City Theatre Company. Through April 26. Boeing Boeing. public. A comedy from Carly Mensch, a writer from the CLO Cabaret. Through April 26. television show Weeds, the play Oblivion takes This Tony Award-winning production from the Thursday 3/26/15 on the complex relationship between parents and 1960s tells the story of a Parisian player with three adolescents, and what it means to grow up and be a girlfriends, all flight attendants. He gets himself into Johnny Pemberton. family. Tickets start at $36. trouble when, with the invention of a faster plane, they The Underground. 7 p.m. all come to town at once. Tickets are $39.75. AB Comedy presents comedian Johnny Pemberton this Sketch to Structure. week at the Underground. His credits include acting in Carnegie Museum of Art. Through August 17. Compiled by Sarah Gutekunst | Operations Manager 21 Jump Street, 22 Jump Street, Bob’s Burgers, and It’s This exhibition in the Heinz Architectural Center Always Sunny in Philadelphia. explores the process of an architect’s initial concept Want your event here? to client presentation. Featuring a number of sketches Email [email protected]. Saturday 3/28/15 by Lorcan O’Herlihy and Richard Neutra as well as watercolors by Steven Holl. Cathie Ryan Band. Carnegie Lecture Hall. 7:30 p.m. Some Day is Now: The Art of Corita Kent. Irish-American traditional folk musician Cathie Ryan will The Andy Warhol Museum. Through April 19. perform as part of the Calliope Concert Series, which Covering over 30 years of Corita Kent’s posters, aims to preserve traditional folk-style music. Tickets start murals, and signature serigraphs, Some Day is Now is at $20. the first major museum show to survey Kent’s career.

calendar pillbox 03.23.15 15 elements brings in spring.

Abhinav Gautam | Photo Editor Over the weekend, the Elements exhibition debuted at the Hunt Institute for Botanical Documentation. The artwork focuses on four artists and their take on natural and manmade structures. Top: Students and faculty marvel at the various works in the Hunt Institute. Bottom: One of Sue Abramson’s nine photographs showcased in the new collection.

feature 16pillbox 03.23.15