No 24, November 13th 2020. The Virtual Wisdener

The Newsletter of the Wisden Collectors’ Club

Aren’t Banks Brilliant!!! Or The Frustraons of Paying for your 2021 by Bank Transfer

As you may or may not know I have been offering those of you interested in purchasing the 2021 to make payment by various ways - one of those ways being by bank transfer. Now, the banks have introduced a fantasc, all-singing, all dancing system that checks the details of the person/ company you are paying before your money is sent - next thing you know they will be opening places where you can go in and talk to real people. Anyway, half of you who have tried to send me your payment have had the message that either the account does not exist or that they have a ‘similar’ account and at your risk you can use that one. Well, this was becoming frustrang so I called my bank, I was only on hold for 34 hours, but then I managed to ask the Customer Service Advisor (cashier in my day or ‘Till Number 4’) why payers were having trouble, I was asked the following: “Are you sure you gave the payer your correct details?’ Followed by “Maybe they typed your details in incorrectly.” And then, aer much frustraon.. “We aren’t finding this to be a common problem.” At which point I escalated my query into a complaint and asked for a Manager - two days later I received a call from ‘said Manager’ who informed me quite quickly that this was an ongoing problem across the new system and the bank would like to apologise for any inconvenience. They gave me £50 compensaon which has gone into the Yellow November Alzheimers’ Society fund, but then I asked why the first customer Service Advisor didn't menon this, to which I was told, ‘ we appreciate it is a training issue….’ So, rest assured my details are correct, you have done everything right and the Alzheimers’ Society is fiy quid beer off.

YELLOW NOVEMBER The Wisdener Manual Two Thank you to everyone who has taken Back in 2015 the first Wisdener Manual was published. It was a advantage of the Yellow November Sale. guide for collectors on Wisdens and the wonderful art of Just to let you know that it is connuing and Wisden collecng and the manual also included a recap of and more Wisdens are being put on arcles and content from the first ten edions of The Wisdener www.wisdenworld.co.uk daily. (the quarterly printed club newsleer) and content that had not One thing I did not cater for was having a been included. bout of the flu (definitely not Covid) which What I believe set it aside was that it included the first knocked me for six (or should I now say, comprehensive Wisden price guide and for the first me a ‘sailed over the for six?’) And detailed analysis of Almanack print runs had been put into print. caused some orders to be delayed - I In the past five years a lot has happened….so apologise for that delay. To coincide with the 2021 Wisden, volume two of The Wisdener Future orders may take a day or two longer Manual will be produced. to get out simply through the volume. I will be giving more content informaon over in forthcoming issues of this Virtual Wisdener.

Valuaon Service and My Tardy Lack of Response I know a lot of you have contacted me to take advantage of the valuaon service I offer or to ask quesons or make a general enquiry and yet again I apologise for my lack of response. I will get to you. If anyone else would like a valuaon of their collecon then please let me know. Discreon is guaranteed and any informaon will be between us. The Wisdener Manual Two (see above right) will include a look at collecons and valuaons based on those I do over the next few months and I can assure everyone that no names or details of a specific collecon will be included.

So, if you would like a free valuaon of your collecon please contact me by email furmedgefamily@bnternet.com

1 The Batsmans Holding The Bowlers Willey

“Wisden In Queson” On The Receiving End The MCC yesterday issued the following statement: “In the Madhav Mantri, who was ’s second as editor’s notes in Wisden’s Cricketers Almanack , 1955, just slipped to 0 for four on his debut, and , published, a statement appears to the effect that the who faced a 34-year-old Trueman in only his fourth selecon of L.Huon as of the MCC Australasian Championship match, on what it was like to face Fred. team, 1954-55, was decided by only a single vote. MCC wish Madhav Mantri. to make it clear that this statement is totally incorrect. In “In the first he was spraying the ball all over. Till fact the unanimous recommendaon of the MCC selecon then, Indians had never been tested by such pace. In the commiee was approved without a vote being taken.” second innings I baed at No 3. India were 0-2 when next Commenng on the MCC statement Mr. Norman Preston, over I faced Trueman and I didn't have much difficulty editor of Wisden, said: “I willingly accept the MCC statement dealing with his first three balls. Doggedly, I didn't want to as correct and I regret that I was misinformed and did not be the first to commit so I decided to wait. His fourth verify the facts with MCC. At the same me I maintain that swerved in the air towards me and I thought I would play it at one stage Huon’s selecon as captain of the team in easily just as it pitched or I would leave it if it swung more Australia was in the balance. than it was supposed to. But unfortunately it didn't swing Wisden’s is produced by Sporng Handbooks Ltd., price 12s. much at all and aer pitching it went straight and at that 6d. And 15s. pace I didn't get any chance to play and only saw the middle The Telegraph stump disturbed." David Lloyd: The photographer Patrick Eagar puts three leading pace “It was an adventure for a start. Everything’s right about bowlers to the test to see who is the world’s quickest. The people saying he used to walk into your dressing room and triumvirate are Jeff Thomson, and Andy ask if you were playing and tell you that he’d get you out. Roberts with missing out because of a knee injury. And he did that to me the first me I faced him. The first As Eagar explains: “Our tests were designed to decide who thing he said to me was, “Who’s this lad?” And he asked if I was the fastest bowler. We also contemplated some safety could and I said, “Well, I’ll have a go” and he said, “cos tests but these had to be abandoned for lack of willing you’ll get plenty of pracce today”. It was the back end of volunteers.” his career when I faced him, but he sll had pace, swing and Speeds were measured by using two sll cameras med to aggression and he was a true athlete. He wasn't go off at an interval of 0.045 seconds, with speeds accurate inmidang. He certainly had plenty to say when he was to within 2 mph. The winner was Thomson whose fastest but it was in a good-natured way.” was med at 90 mph. The Cricketer, 1976. Ruth Kelleher and Merilyn Slarke were the two scorers A friendly match in Sargodha, Pakistan, degenerated into during the Sydney Test against . The first me in an argument over match-fixing that culminated in two the games’ history that two women have been the official people being shot dead and five being wounded. scorers at a Test. Times of India, July 2002. The Age.

Axes, baseball bats, box-cuers, brass knuckles, bull whips, “He would rather play with his 1954 than with me. cale prods, corkscrews, golf clubs, nunchucks (ninja Fondling an old Wisden gave him more joy than fondling weapons) and cricket bats were on a newly compiled list of me, in fact he has probably got a beer memory of the Test banned items in American aircra cabins. scores of 1954 than he has of my body.” The Guardian, 2002). Ellen Bascro, in a sport of her statement read by her lawyer during a hearing as to her husband Phillip’s alleged charge of fraud. India’s Naonal Commission on Populaon used the one- News and Star, Carlisle, 2008. day internaonals against to launch a birth control The imprisoned author and polician Lord Archer, paid campaign, complete with he following slogans: more than £1,000 (through a representave) to obtain “Lile bouncers - no more please.” enough turf from the dug-up Lord’s ouield to re-lay his “No slips please, populaon control is not a laughing back garden in Cambridgeshire. Archer was later suspended maer.” from MCC for seven years following his convicon for “China, - India produced more babies in the last perjury and perverng the course of jusce, three years hour." longer than the jail sentence he received. The Times of India, January 2002). Daily Telegraph. “No foreplay, lile laon, just wham, bam, thank you Minor Counes Steve Kuhlman, in Torquay to take ma’am and not even me for a post-coital cigaree” charge of the game between Dorset and Berkshire was Australian sportswriter Charles Happell on the hecc kicked out of his hotel aer asking for fresh fruit instead of a 2006-07 Ashes schedule. cooked breakfast. The Times 2 Over In A Day - Part 6

June 21st, 1919 KENT v. SUSSEX Between the two world wars. In the twenty years spanning 1919 to 1939 when German ambion In the first half of the 1919 season when first class for world dominaon paused for a badly needed breather and cricket was feeling its way uncertainly aer being in permied among other things some first class cricket to be played, abeyance for five summers due to World War One, one day finishes were restricted to three, two of which were Sussex were forced to field some excessively weak championship fixtures. The other was a truly astonishing affair in the sides that success was almost out of the queson. unlikely seng of Dublin between Ireland and the 1937 New Zealand

In the light of modem trends it is interesng to recall touring side.

that this was the season when all county matches Basil Easterbrook wrote a series of arcles for Playfair Cricket were restricted to two days—an experiment that was Monthly in 1968 and 1969 on first-class matches that had been a resounding failure. Matches were played Monday completed in a day. Here is part 6 of the series. and Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, Friday and Saturday. captains to play unl a quarter past seven in order that

The match in queson was scheduled for the old Angel there could be an early finish on Friday, to allow ground at Tonbridge, a centre no longer used by to make the long journey to Portsmouth for their next Kent, on Friday and Saturday, June 20th and 21st. game. In the event they were able to travel at their Rain washed out play on Friday but leisure for the new pitch, drying under hot sunshine gave (Pictured, Right) and Fairservice quickly made up the bowlers such assistance that the only hope ol making for lost me on the Saturday, Sussex being half out runs was to ‘throw the bat’ and trust to luck. Using these for 5 at which point Fairservice had the rather methods G. F. Earle hit 43 in 35 minutes the biggest score useful analysis of 5—3—3—3! The second half of of the match and Bligh got 20 but the other nine the Sussex side managed to add 55 but the innings Somerset batsmen contributed eight runs, and the was completed in 26 overs with Woolley returning Western county were all out for 74. Ted McDonald took 5 6 for 33 and Fairservice finishing with 4 for 21. for 24 and Dick Tyldesley (Below, Right) 3 for 13.

Maurice Tate was serving his apprenceship as a Lancashire could do lile beer county class bowler and during this season not unl a forcing 9th wicket stand of unexpectedly proved expensive but when Kent baed he 55 between Lancashire’s two most was the only bowler to achieve any success taking 4 for 97 in successful bowlers saw the home 24 overs. Woolley followed his bowling figures with an side through to a total of 130 and a innings of 59, Joe Hubble took out his bat for 71 and Kent lead of 56. McDonald was unbeaten declared at 261 for 6. Sussex began their second innings for 35, the biggest score by a shortly before half past four and were all out by half past six Lancashire batsman in the match. J. for 78, only one man making figures. This me C. White 5 for 67 and Hunt 4 for 63 Woolley got 6 for 28—match figures of 12 for 61 and a half were the Somerset bowlers to do the for good measure making it very definitely the great damage. man’s match. Fairservice had a match return of 7 for 46 and the outstanding Sussex wicket fell to ‘Tich’ Freeman. Going in a second me aer tea Somerset were routed in 80 minutes for 73, one less than Kent thus won by an innings and 123 runs—the first team to they had made the first me. John Daniell the Somerset win in a day for ten years and who were to see another six skipper drove Parkin three mes for 6 but Parkin had ample seasons pass before the feat was accomplished again. revenge with an analysis of 6 for 44 giving him match figures of 8 for 73. Dick Tyldesley had the same figures as in the first innings —3 for 13. Le to score 18 for victory Lancashire May 21st, 1925 quickly lost Harry Makepeace by Daniell off White LANCASHIRE v. SOMERSET but then Charlie Hallows and Ernest Tyldesley swily Somerset had not played Lancashire for fourteen years and brought maers to a conclusion, Lancashire winning by 9 they had good cause to remember the renewal of the fixture . at Old Trafford. They had been beaten in a day there by As Somerset packed and prepared to move on to Derby, Lancashire in 1892 and again in 1894 and now they John Daniell said ‘They say Queen Mary had the word conceded the grisliest kind of hat-trick known to cricket. The “Calais” engraved upon her heart—if Somerset had a heart I first day of the match was washed out and the original should think the only possible word to be found on it would wicket cut for the game was so soaked that a fresh one was be “Lancashire” ’. cut. There was another interesng point before a ball had Well, three mes in thirty-three years was rather too much been , and that was an agreement between the of a good thing!

3 September 11th, 1937 found Cowie unplayable. He sent down 48 deliveries and IRELAND v NEW ZEALAND took 6 wickets for 3 runs. Ireland were all out 30, the

The final game of the 1937 season produced the first one smallest total recorded by an Irish representave eleven. Of day finish in a first class match for twelve years. At first sight, those 30 runs,Ingram made half, there were 10 byes so ten the fact that the Tourists opponents were Ireland in Dublin batsmen made five runs, of which opening batsman Bergin might make the reader queson the jusficaon of including scored 4. There were eight ducks! this match, but it was by no means a walk over for M. L. When the New Zealanders went in again chasing 46 for Page and his team. victory Boucher had Carson caught before he had scored —

In fact this match was unique for it supplied the only the 16th batsman this day who failed to get off the mark! example of a one day finish in which the winning side was Moloney the other opening batsman was leg before for 14 led on first innings. In an incredible day’s play on an ill- but then the Kiwis’ manager T. C. Lowry who had baed No. prepared pitch which made bang a loery 32 wickets fell 8 in the first innings was sent out to join Weir the No. 3. for an aggregate of 219 runs—an average cost of less than 7 While Weir concentrated on defending grimly Lowry made a runs each. berserk aack on the bowling from the other end and scored all the remaining 30 runs to win the match by 8 Ireland were all out for 79 when they baed first, four Kiwi wickets and incidentally make top score in the match. Weir bowlers, Roberts, Gallichan, Carson and Maloney sharing was sll 0 when the end came—a truly astonishing the wickets between them. day’s cricket and one without parallel in first class annals. It

The New Zealanders reached the fores for the loss of three is I think worth explaining that Lowry was sll a fine wickets but their last seven wickets went down for a handful cricketer. of runs. J. C. Boucher had the remarkable analysis of 7 for 13 Although as manager he took no part in the Test series he in 12 overs and the New Zealanders were all out for 64, played as many as eighteen first class innings that summer, leaving a jubilant Irish eleven with a lead of 15. But the scored over 400 runs and made a century at , sensaons had hardly begun. The New Zealand fast bowler taking 121 off the Nonghamshire bowlers in less than two who won such respect with his post-war work in hours, hing a six and 18 fours. this country had not taken a wicket in his only brief spell of I was to see the next match to be over in a day but a World four overs in the first innings.

War and ten years were to elapse before it happened. When Ireland went in a second me Ingram made 15 before giving a return catch to Gallichan but all the rest of the side Basil Easterbrook

The 2021 Wisden is available to pre-order as follows: UK postage Hardback edion inc postage to the UK £39.00. So Back edion inc postage to the UK £39.00 Large Format edion inc postage to the UK £59.00 Overseas postage Hardback edion, price inc postage, £54.00. So Back edion, the price inc postage, £54.00 Large Format edion, the price inc postage, £69.00 If you would like to pre-order a 2021 then please contact me - details are below

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4 If Rain Had Stopped Play

The Marvels which have been Washed from the It is certain to happen, even in the best regulated English Pages of History, some thoughts from Neville summers: a depression from the Atlanc and ‘No play today’, a Cardus. sad occurrence, as the pavilion empes and outside a lile band of the faithful leave the ground. But they soon get over Frustraon it, go home, look at the telly or go to the cinema while, up in On such days of vacancy and frustraon I oen the Press box, the writer on cricket is le in the air, work to be wonder what could have marvellously happened done as usual (at least it had to be done in my Press box days), out there in the now deserted field if play had a blank pad of copy-paper in front of him. The sky is a mass of indeed been ‘possible’. Think of the marvels threatening clouds, pools of water are gathering on the field. which surely have been washed from the pages of the game’s history. Suppose a cloudburst had swamped Old Trafford in late July 1956 (and a Victorian aack. But Hooker! Christmas dinner was put cloudburst easily could have descended on Old back in various homes. Telephone messages from the Trafford then), would any of us now be irritated XI: - ‘Something gone wrong this credulous enough to believe that any mortal bowler, morning. Will finish it off first over aer lunch. ’ One of even one really a Yorkshireman, could, in one and the the Victorian out-fields told me years aer that all that same Test match, take 19 wickets? Even aer the day of Christmas he turned on his heel every ball actual performance of this miracle, credulity stood bowled at Hooker, ready to sprint up the pavilion aghast, unconvinced. The miracle is not likely ever to steps, the first home for the turkey, plum pudding. be repeated, not even in ficon. No writer of a boy’s romanc school story would dare to make his ‘hero’ Fall of Shadows take 19 wickets in one and the same ‘Prep’ school Hooker, as I say, persisted from noon to the fall of match, let alone a Test match. shadows over Melbourne’s enclosure. He was not removed from the crease unl noon on Boxing Day. He The Old Cosy One had obstructed the Victorian aack while no fewer Many mes have I san OldTrafford’s Press box - the than 307 runs were added for the last wicket, Hooker’s old cosy one, not too large - when aernoon tea was share 62. Alan Kippax scored 260 not out. Here again, served on warm aernoons, just as Harry Makepeace fact outruns ficon in power to stagger imaginaon. was compleng a copper-plate century in four hours, But suppose it had rained—Oh, the valour and skill fieen minutes. Many mes I have sat there on a washed out by depressions from Biscay or Orkney! Saturday aernoon; ‘match abandoned for the day’, The wonder is that the weather kept fine on and as I have meditated on what might have been a Wednesday, August 13th, 1902, at Kennington Oval. vision has come before my eyes, only to be described Lurid sunshine flickered through threatening clouds, in the swi kaleidoscopic language of Mr Jingle - Moist fing light for a melodrama of cricket, when heroism soggy earth - railway trains - smoke - no visibility - saved the day for England, changing almost certain lumbago - heavy roller waterlogged - pavilion an ark defeat to a victory never to be forgoen. England on Ararat - bars closed - telephone ringing somewhere needed 263 to win. On an evil pitch the cream of our - darken sky - no copy - only copy paper - visions of batsmanship was skimmed away for a paltry 48, five sunshine - what indeed might have been? - red hot wickets lost for that bankrupt sum - MacLaren, b sun - red hot bat - Makepeace - sixes - bang - crash! Saunders 2, L. C. H. Palairet, b Saunders 6, J. T.

A wet day at Melbourne round about 1928/9 would Tyldesley, b Saunders 0, T. Hayward, c Kelly b Saunders have relegated into the abyss of the incredible another 7, L. C. Braund, c Kelly b Trumble 2. Saunders, le arm, marvellous not-to-be-thought-of happening. On bowled rather aer the manner of W. Voce. It was Christmas Eve, New South Wales, playing Victoria, lost Saunders who had, a few weeks before this wonderful nine wickets, nearly 300 runs to the bad. The last man aernoon at Kennington Oval in 1902, uprooted poor in, name of Hooker, baed only because law and ’s wicket at Old Trafford, where England lost custom insist that number eleven in the order shall by three runs. make a formal appearance at the wicket, if only to Patrioc Intenon supply the scorers with balancing parculars. It was A spot of rain fell as G. L. Jessop walked forth to join F. the eve of Christmas, half an hour before close of play. S. Jackson - England 48 for five, Saunders unplayable. To everybody’s amazement and annoyance, Hooker Somebody in pavilion shouted ‘Put it down!’ somehow couldn’t get out. What is more, he stayed at to the member who had opened his umbrella. No the wicket all through Christmas Day—they played doubt he opened it with the most patrioc intenon— cricket on Christmas Day in those pagan mes. Alan of encouraging the promise of a downpour which Kippax, the other batsman, was of course a master, an alone, it seemed, could save England. Jessop at once arst, a stroke player of infinite variety and style. It was cut and drove four boundaries from four consecuve natural enough that he should easily keep at bay the

5 balls hurled down by the ravenous, triumphant What happened here is so fantasc that I am obliged Saunders. to refer again to Wisden. Recorded fact is needed to

Everybody acquainted with cricket’s history at all convince us today that it all truly happended, even knows that Jessop scored104 in seventy-five minutes, though we truly know it happened: ‘The first ball hit hing not less than seventeen fours. Then, at the last, Grout on the thigh and a leg resulted; from the Hirst and Rhodes, the last wicket, calmly gathered the second Benaud gave a catch at the wicket as he swung 15 wanted for the glorious consummaon. mighly. The famous old story to the effect that Hirst went Meckiff played the third ball back to the bowler, but down the pitch when Rhodes came in to say, ‘We’ll get when the fourth went through to the wicketkeeper, ’em in singles, Wilfred’, has been sternly scotched and the batsman scampered a . Hall missing a chance to put out of court by those solemn upholders of prosaic Meckiff as the wicket-keeper threw the ball to fact, people of that breed who are actually happy to him. Grout hit the fih ball high in the air, Hall kill a good story dead. But in place of that famous if aempted to take the catch himself, but the ball merely legendary saying of at Kennington bounced out, and another run had been gained. Oval in 1902,1 can now substute another concerning Meckiff hit the sixth ball hard and high to leg, but the same crucial occasion. Hunte cut it off on the boundary as the batsman A year or two ago I met Rhodes during a Test match at turned for the third run, which would have given Lord’s. ‘Don’t tell me,’ he said, ‘Ah recognise your Australia victory. Hunte threw in superbly, low and fast, voice.’ Then he went on, ‘Were you at Oval Test in 1902 and Grout was run out by a foot. when me and George Hirst were geng fieen to win? So Kline came in to face the last two balls with the ’ I had to confess that I wasn’t. ‘Ah,’ he said, scores level.’ (My italics!) ‘He played the seventh ball of disappointed, ‘because Ah wanted you to sele a the over towards square-leg and Meckiff, backing up queson that’s been botherin’ me. When we needed well, raced down the wicket, only to be out when about 8, Ah drove a ball from Hughie Trumble past Solomon again threw down the wicket with only the mid-off, and Ah can’t remember whether it went for width of a stump for this target.’ two or for three.’ Aer more than half-a-century he Lunac Affray wished to know if the stroke had gone for two or for If you can believe all that, you can believe anything - as three! the Duke of Wellington said to the man who, at a ball,

Irraonal Inspiraon addressed the Duke saying, ‘Mr Jones, I believe?’ But the records and facts are, as I have shown, to be found Rain conceivably might have come as an advantage to in Wisden. And survivors from the lunac affray, Albert Tro on Whit Monday of 1907, at Lord’s. The spectators who saw it and didn’t die of heart failure, match was for his benefit and, under the influence of can sll be brought forward as evidence. irraonal inspiraon, he put premature end to the A cloudburst in Brisbane during December is as game by taking four wickets in four balls for Middlesex common a visitaon as a cloudburst in Manchester v. Somersetshire, then in the same innings he did the midsummer. Who could, in his senses, have thought of ‘hat-trick’. a Test match ending in a ‘e’ with three wickets going Another performance you might say never likely to be off their heads in the last over, three Australians losing equalled - C. H. Palmer, for Leicestershire, took eight all sane connecon with events for a crazy moment, wickets v. Surrey at Leicester in 1955, not giving away a and flying into the ‘intense inane’? run and hing the stump seven mes. Someday, ‘if only it will keep fine for it’, a bowler might take all ten A Moral Here wickets in a team’s innings in ten balls, the side 0 all In the 1930s prolonged Manchester rain fell on August out. Why not? There is no causal connecon between Bank Holiday, blong out play from morning ll one ball bowled and another. Every ball bowled is a midnight. I didn’t go anywhere near Old Trafford. I single event in me and space. If one ball can take a stayed indoors all day, then went into the Manchester wicket of itself, why not ten, each taking a wicket Guardian office at about 7 p.m., where I was greeted successively? and nearly embraced by the news-editor. ‘Thank God,’ Most marvellous of all cricket matches which not the he said, ‘no play at Old Trafford - so we’ve some space most romancally gullible of us would have imagined tonight!’ But I had to disappoint him; I had wrien not could have happened anywhere on earth, or on any my usual 1,500 words, but round about 2,000 on other planet where logic was different from ours, was ‘What might have happened at Old Trafford if it had the Test at Brisbane in December 1960 - Australia v. kept fine for it’. There’s a moral here, somewhere, for West Indies. all cricketers - and cricket writers. When the last over was about to be bowled by Hall, Australia wanted only six runs with three wickets to go.

6 Master of The Trap Ball

First went the great, and then he who might have In a conversaon recently the name came been great. On Nov 4, 1999, up and as with most conversaons about players, matches succumbed to an insidious cancer at 41. Precisely one or cricket in general it led me down a path or two, and month later, on the same Caribbean island, another then I discovered the following by Mike Selvey. fast man died young. sportsmen above the rank and file. He was filmed on Sylvester Theophilus Clarke was a week short of his 45th numerous occasions, but never called by an umpire. birthday when he collapsed at home. The Once, during a match at Lord’s, an two careers overlapped at internaonal enterprising Middlesex cricketer level only briefly, in five of Clarke’s 11 borrowed the dressing-room Tests, and they followed diverse paths. aendant’s macintosh and cap, took a Marshall went on to become, according video camera and tripod out into Q to many, the finest fast bowler of them Stand (now the Allen Stand), and, semi- all. Clarke’s fate was to be bom in the obscured by a concrete pillar, pretended wrong place in the wrong era, and he to film Clarke. It took only a few never quite made it. But , given minutes for the cameraman to be identy by its cricket, would have shed spoed (as was the intenon), and no fewer tears for that. Clarke proceeded to bowl what the pros call gnat’s piss. It For over a decade, from his debut for Barbados early in 1978 was guilt by implicaon as far as they were concerned. in St Lucia, unl 1990, when he signed off his first-class Clarke knew of the innuendo and rumour, of course he did, career with 5 for 46 for Northern Transvaal against Orange and even his own team-mates thought there was something Free State, Clarke terrorised batsmen the world over. It odd. “Strictly speaking,” said Pat Pocock, the former Surrey wasn’t just the pace (though many are convinced that he and England offspinner, “I don’t think that some of his was the fastest they ever faced), but the chilling deliveries were legal. But studied his acon temperament that unleashed it. “Go to sleep, lile ones,” closely, and pronounced it gunbarrel-straight. Sylvester had mothers would tell their children, “or Sylvester will come amazing shoulders which allowed him to jerk the ball out and bowl bouncers at you.” with a slingshot acon.” Three mes in his career - once for Barbados, in only his Holding suggests it was to do with the wrist, and wishes that second match, and twice for Surrey - he took a hat-trick, and the ‘super-slomo’ camera had been around to sele the no batsmen in history can have trembled as much as those maer. “But he never showed any concern anyway,” he three hapless final vicms. There was no compuncon about adds. Once, towards the end of his career in South Africa, hing batsmen. The short-pitched delivery - what Dennis the issue arose yet again. “It’s up to the umpires,” was Amiss would call a “trapdoor ball” because the batsman Clarke’s considered response. “And 1 think I’ve fooled them would lose it into the pitch and then suddenly there it was in all.” front of his nose as if it had sprung from a trapdoor - was his He might have been joking, but you wouldn’t bet on it. stock-in-trade, the in-swinging only a variaon from In any other era, and for any other side, Clarke would have the almost incessant pounding. had a top-class internaonal career. But this was the me of Ask around and the response is always the same. “Quick,” Mikey and Andy, Colin and Joel. His Test chances were say some. Most aach an expleve, invariably adding “And limited, firstly to the third Test of the 1977-78 home series nasty with it. ” , who faced everything that was against Australia, when the Packer World Series players around at that me, believed him to be the quickest of them withdrew, and then exclusively to tours, of India the all, faster than Holding or Thommo (whom he never faced at following winter, Pakistan in 1980-81 and Australia in ’81-82. his peak) or Waqar or Donald or any you care to name, “with Five of his 11 Tests were against India in a series that West a streak of nasness that made him addionally Indies lost 1-0. But Clarke, missing only the last one through unpleasant”. injury, out-bowled everyone, taking 21 wickets, including Most believe that, like Colin Cro, he would have bounced - who racked up 732 runs - five out of seven his grandmother. The only difference, according to Holding, mes. In the second was that Clarke would not bother telling you about it. Test at Bangalore, His glare could freeze hell. where Clarke took five wickets in an Throughout his career, and parcularly in , innings for the one there was the widespread belief that when he really cranked and only me, he it up, he threw. Clarke was a big, burly, barrel-chested man, dismissed Gavaskar who rumbled in with a relavely short, slightly arthric run, (Pictured, Right) presented his full chest to the batsman, and propelled the with the first ball of ball with a jerk of shoulder and wrist. It was scarcely the match. (Cont’d page 9) orthodox, but oen it is the unorthodox that elevates

7 8 His internaonal career almost finished on a sour note in third man for a single, the match was drawn and I retained Pakistan when, with resng back in Angua my health. I oen wonder if it slipped. Probably, though, he and Holding injured, he returned to the team. It was a fiery just remembered who that Q-Stand cameraman had been. series and Clarke subjected the Pakistani batsmen to a Mike Selvey barrage the like of which they had never experienced. In the second Test at Faisalabad Cro, who opened the bowling A batsman's eye view by Graeme Fowler with Clarke, remembers a delivery striking ’s The most common queson I get asked these days is "Who helmet and leaving an indentaon three inches deep. was the fastest bowler you ever faced?" It’s an almost Zaheer was so shaken that he briefly rered at the end of impossible queson to answer. the series. Against any really quick bowler the batsman has 0.25 to 0.3 of a second to see the ball, decide which shot to play (or The fourth Test, which was to prove Clarke’s penulmate not) and execute it. On a good day that’s plenty of me. On match, was a tetchy affair at Multan. Clarke was pelted with a bad day it’s no me at all. The perceived speed relates to fruit and pebbles by an animated student secon of the how well you are bang at the me. crowd. Angered, he picked up a white-painted house brick, A beer queson would be "Who was the most vicious used as a boundary marker, and lobbed it into the crowd, bowler you played against?"That one’s easier. Malcolm where it struck the student leader on the head. He required Marshall hit me more consistently than anyone else - usually emergency surgery, the game was held up for half-an-hour, on the right forearm. But undoubtedly the most terrifying and Clarke was suspended by the West Indian Board. bowler I ever faced was Sylvester Clarke. With no clear role for him in the West Indies side, Clarke He was a huge man who gained lile from his run-up. But he went to South Africa, sacrificing any chance of resuming his had extraordinary flexibility in his shoulders, a Test career. He played for Transvaal, Orange Free State, monumentally cocked wrist, and a pathological dislike of Northern Transvaal and, twice, the rebel West Indian side. anybody 22 yards away with a bat in his hand. It all added up The Currie Cup had never seen such vicious bowling: in to create the most feared bowler in county cricket in the 1984-85 he equalled the compeon record with 58 wickets '80s. at around 13 apiece, and they sll talk in awe of the final There were three other aspects to Sylvester's bowling - a that year when he took 5 for eight to shoot Northern fearsome change of pace from very fast to "Jeezus" Transvaal out for 61, helping Transvaal to an innings win. movement through the air and off the pitch back into the Meanwhile Clarke’s county career rolled on. Batsmen right-hander, and, finally, a natural length designed to tear dreaded the Surrey match.and prayed that one of Clarke’s off any jewellery you happened to be wearing around your injuries would keep him sidelined or a drinking binge knock neck. (Being a le-hander it was a bit easier for me, as him out. Oen he reserved his greatest hoslity for the sides Sylvester's natural line took the ball away towards the slips. he respected most. Essex oen suffered, once when Graham That doesn't mean it was much fun, though.) Gooch had his fibreglass helmet split in two like a walnut I can't claim to have known Sylvester the man that well, but I shell. The notoriously mid tail-ender David Acfield acquired did understand him on the field. He had a simple philosophy. legendary status by informing his bang partner Ken He didn't like fielding, therefore the quickest route back to McEwan that he wasn’t coming down Sylvester’s end: “Not the dressing-room was to get you out. He had respect for this ball, next ball or any effing ball - and you make sure I good batsmen - he simply tried to get them out. don’t.” I remember a charity match at Preston, when Sylvester was The injuries and drinking were taking their toll, however, and sing in a corner of the dressing-room with , Clarke’s performances became errac. In 1989, he was another West Indian who played less than his fair share of suspended by Surrey for failing to report for a match at . During the game they disposed of a two-litre Swansea, and by the end of that season, he was released for bole of brandy. I joined in the conversaon (but not the “persistent breaches of the terms and condions of his brandy, honest) and asked Silvers why he didn't bombard contract”. Enough was enough, despite 65 wickets at 14. He me as much as some of my Lancashire colleagues. He raised saw out his career with Northern Transvaal before turning his eyebrows to an unfeasible height, and I was just his aenon to veterans’ games, in which he connued to beginning to wonder if I'd asked the wrong queson when explore the middle of the pitch. he said: "You can play -1 just get you out." Aer an even longer pause he added: "I hit the others, then get them Personally I faced just one delivery from him. It came at the out." He was right, he usually did. There was no malice - it end of a Championship match at The Oval in 1984, when, on was just an assessment. a gloomy evening with Clarke bowling like the wind from the His views were not always those of other leading bowlers: Pavilion end, Glamorgan required four to win from two balls, Sylvester made his own mind up about who could play and with nine down and the captain facing. I feared the , who couldn't, and that was that. suspected the yorker and was horrified to find a 90mph in swinging throat-high beamer coming at me. County cricket is oen described as so. When Sylvester Clarke's name was on the scorecard it wasn't - it definitely Somehow I got the splice in the way, the ball skiered to wasn't.

9 The Virtual Tea Interval

Bert - “When I die I’m Dear Tech Support, going to leave Years ago, I upgraded from Boyfriend to Husband and everything to you. noced a disnct slowdown in overall system performance, Ethel - “You already parcularly in the flower and jewellery applicaons, which do, you lazy sod.” operated flawlessly under Boyfriend. In addion, Husband uninstalled many other valuable programmes, such as Romance and Personal Aenon and People On A Rope then installed undesirable programs such as Rugby , Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, Football, Sailing and Connuous TV. Conversaon no longer ten men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough runs, and Housecleaning simply crashes the system. I've to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave, tried running Nagging to fix these problems, but to no avail. because otherwise they were all going to fall. They struggled What can I do?

to choose someone, things were geng very tense, and Signed, Desperate then the woman gave a very touching speech. She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope Dear Desperate, because, as a woman, she was used to giving up everything First keep in mind, Boyfriend is an Entertainment Package, for her husband and kids and for men in general, and that while Husband is an Operang System. Please enter the she was used to making sacrifices with lile in return. As command: 'hp: I Thought You Loved Me.html' and try to soon as she finished her speech all the men started clapping. download Tears. (Thank you to Sandra Bowden for sending this) Don't forget to install the Guilt update. If that applicaon works as designed, Husband should then automacally run A man was sing on the edge of the bed, Observing his the applicaons Jewellery and Flowers, but remember - wife, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was overuse of the above applicaon can cause Husband to not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her Birthday. default to Grumpy Silence, Garden Shed or Beer. Beer is a 'I'd like to be twelve again', she replied, Sll looking in the very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly mirror. Beta. On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law (it runs a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Alton virus in the background that will eventually seize control of Towers theme park. all your system resources). Also, do not aempt to reinstall What a day! the Boyfriend program. These are unsupported applicaons He put her on every ride in the park; The Death Slide, the and will crash Husband. Corkscrew, of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller In summary, Husband is a great system, but it does have Coaster, everything there was. Five hours later they limited memory and cannot learn new applicaons quickly. staggered out of the theme park. It also tends to work beer running one task at a me. You Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He might consider buying addional soware to improve then took her to a Mc Donald’s where he ordered her a memory and performance. We recommend Food and Hot Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.. Lingerie. Then it was off to the cinema with popcorn, Good Luck, A huge Cola, and her favourite sweets...... M&M's.. What a fabulous adventure! Tech Support. Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed Women really know how to hold a grudge. My wife asked into bed exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a big smile me to pass her a lip balm. And by mistake I gave her a tube and lovingly asked, of super glue. It’s been a month and she’s sll not speaking 'Well Dear, what was it like being twelve again?' to me. Her eyes slowly opened And her expression suddenly changed. I proposed to my ex-wife. But she said No. She believes I’m 'I meant my dress size, you moron!!!!' just aer my money.

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is Yesterday in the post I received a photo from a speeding sll going to get it wrong. camera. I sent it right back - way too expensive and really (I am not going to say who sent this in as it might drascally bad quality. impact upon my Christmas present list)

“Dad, I got my intelligence from you, didn't I?” Feel free to send anything in you feel might be of interest to “That’s right my clever boy.” others. “Yup, thought so, mum sll has hers.”

10 Quiz and Poser

South Australia v Queensland, The last poser stumped many of you. Oval, February 11th-14th 1977 When was the last first-class ‘e’ in England and name the two teams. If that is

On a very hot day South Australia won the too easy also name the last first-class e in Australia, also naming the two teams. toss and baed on a pitch so hard it was described as a road. In the first over SA lost The English game was one that most of you knew: Lancashire v Somerset in two wickets off successive balls and the hat 2018. trick ball narrowly missed the outside edge I am grateful to John Dawson who not only supplied the correct answer to the with the huge appeal turned down. How both parts of the queson, but also sent in the arcle below on the South narrowly? Well, in the words of the bowler, Australia v Queensland at in January 1977, which was the last Colin Cooke, “it missed by the width of the Australian first-class match to have ended in a e. proverbial bee’s d—k.” plan, in the words of Cooke “I said that if it was on the Geoff Dymock, the other opening bowler, took the third SA stumps to block it and if it was , let it go. Either way, I wicket soon aer which brought David Hookes to the crease was going to run. Geoff said OK.” at 12 for 3. Hookes scored 185 (in 191 minutes). SA led on The ball was on the stumps, Dymock blocked it and Cooke the first innings by 91 aer Queensland declared on 340 in ran, unfortunately (for Queensland) Dymock called “No”. the interests of geng an outright result. Cooke again took Cooke was stranded; fielded cleanly and threw two early wickets in an over but SA scored 171 from 29 to the bowler, Geoff Aenborough, and Cooke was run out: overs before declaring, Hookes a swi 105 (101 A e. minutes). A week before the Queensland match, Hookes had scored Queensland, chasing 263 to win, was travelling easily but 163 (including 4 sixes in one over) at Adelaide against Kent (82) was run out and three other wickets fell quickly. Victoria and a week aer, 135 and 156 against NSW also at Nevertheless, the last over started with three wickets in Adelaide; five centuries in 16 days led to him being selected hand and just 3 runs needed with Carlson on 64 and Dymock for his Australian debut, the , where he 15 . Queensland took a single of the first ball then next ball famously hit for 5 successive fours. Carlsen ran himself out; a single off the third ball ed the South Australia 431 (Hookes, 185. Vincent, 59. Sleep,57. Dymock scores. Fourth ball Francke was hit on the pad; Dymock 5-109) and 171-7 dec. (Hookes, 105.) called him through but Francke was looking to see where Queensland 340-8 dec. (Whyte, 93. Maclean, 82. Richardson,79.) the ball went - another run-out. Colin Cooke to the wicket, and 262 ( Kent, 82. Carlson, 65.) two balls le, Dymock on strike. The two batsmen agreed a Match Tied

Here is a new quiz that will hopefully keep you busy for a minute or two and congratulaons to the many of you who answered all the previous quesons correctly. All winners have been nofied and prizes sent. There are no prizes in this quiz…’what, no, shame on you Furmedge’ but that is because more of you enter when I don't give away copies of cricket magazines…odd that isn't it!

The closing date is Sunday November 22nd

Here you go and as a novel twist, all the answers are in this edion of the VW. 1: What would Phillip Bascro rather fondle than his wife? 2: Why was Steve Kuhlman ‘kicked out’ of his hotel in Torquay? 3: What were Ireland’s scores in each innings against New Zealand in 1937? 4: When was Hooker finally out? 5: In what year did Sylvester Clarke make his final first-class appearance? Previous quesons with answers: 1: To what/whom is Lawrence Booth referring ‘ One batsman couldn’t watch, the other could barely see.’ Stokes and Leach, Headingley Test, 2019. 2: Which country holds the Test match record for the highest wicket partnership? Sri Lanka 3: Name all the ways a batsman can be dismissed There are 10: ; ; obstrucng the field; hit ball twice; ; ; bowled; caught; stumped; run out. 4: When was the first women’s 1973 5: Who said ‘Batsmen are the darlings of the commiee’s; bowlers are cricket’s labourers.’ A) Sir Donald Bradman. B) Sir or C) Sir

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