Would I Lie to You?
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74th Edition, Autumn 2020 Would I Lie to You? Des explores some ways in which communication can help either to establish or diminish Trust n 1981 Kirsty MacColl sang about all persuasive communication is built3. deceit, plaintively reproaching her His views are now supported by sweetheart: “I can't help feeling modern research which reconfirms Desmond Harney that, somehow, you don't mean that successfully appealing to Ethos I 11 anything you say at all.” She mirrors (establishing you can be trusted and how we all judge other people’s levels relied upon) is an essential of (dis)honesty - by their words and prerequisite for effective persuasion4. actions. Centuries earlier the first Poet Laureate, John Dryden, claimed ‘Truth Other aspects of communication also is the foundation of all knowledge, and help develop an audience’s trust. the cement of all societies’1. These include the words you choose, the way you say them, how you look when you say them, and whether these things all consistently match your other words and actions - and people’s overall perceptions of your character. Can we really believe you will deliver? Truthfulness is essential for establishing long-term Trust. We Kirsty MacColl’s debut hit single featured mislead people in the short-term at lying ‘Chip Shop Elvis’11 our peril. If we’re not thoroughly believed, persuading others to think or But, if it’s difficult to believe anything act our way will be difficult, regardless a liar says, what should we make of of our carefully reasoned arguments. research which suggests most of us lie We also need to genuinely believe in at least once or twice a day – though our own words and ideas. Otherwise, normally with positive intent2. How can we risk revealing give-away signs - or any of us ever be trusted? The fabled “tells”- about the truth. Professor Boy Who Cried Wolf wasn’t believed Emeritus Paul Ekman, now at Univ. of when it finally mattered most. He got California, claims that gestures and eaten by said wolf, teaching us all a facial expressions, particularly ‘micro- valuable moral lesson: nobody believes expressions’5, help to reveal our lies. (or likes) a liar. So if Kirsty’s chip shop ‘Elvis’ offered advice about defeating a global virus pandemic, we probably wouldn’t pay him much attention. We’re not aware that he possesses specialist subject matter expertise, and even if we were, we’d suspect him of dishonesty anyway. Expertise and honesty are important Publicity for the TV panel show which Advice squeezed considerations for us all. If we want to makes deceit a comic art form12. persuade people to think differently or straight from the take a particular course of action, it’s The proverb ‘Fool me once, shame on experts critical that we first establish our thee; fool me twice, shame on me’ credentials and credibility, to help means we should learn to read others them to trust us. That’s true in better, sometimes the hard way. politics, in workplaces and in life in general. It’s GPB advice based on c. We all continually assess whether or 2,400 years of thinking and research. not we like and trust people. If we Aristotle believed establishing trust- hope to influence others, this makes it worthiness is a foundation upon which vital we ensure the impression they 9 74th Edition, Autumn 2020 Would I Lie to You? (cont…) form of us is a positive one. A poor Trust, as does the appearance of first impression might leave your being slickly rehearsed. audience forever wondering whether you can really be believed at all - and Humans generally prefer spontaneity, trusted to get things done. honest answers and admissions. We want to form positive impressions of Perhaps Dryden was wrong, or his interesting, real people; ‘warts and ‘cement’ of social cohesion failed all’. In a recent pair of short, somewhere along the way, as these consecutive interviews 7, however, days we’re unsurprised that even a Matt Hancock (UK Secretary of State placid Thought For The Day BBC Radio for Health and Social Care) 4 presenter can blithely state: “it’s demonstrated this robotic narrowing rare to hear public figures apologise of vocabulary. Using a few carefully for their mistakes, or take memorised phrases repeatedly, in line a p p r o p r i a t e responsibility for errors of judgment”6, without exciting controversy or outrage. It’s now commonplace to suggest that politicians, in particular, don’t routinely tell the truth2. Or, at least, not the whole truth6. That’s a significant factor in why so few establish lasting credibility and trust. Yet we might not even be A “Broadly Flat” trend?13 entirely sure why it is we don’t trust them. with his planned, defensive Key Messages (e.g.: “Vast Majority” - 6 Senior politicians are routinely times; “Operational Challenges” - 5 coached, rehearsed and scripted. Yet times) his delivery was jarring and this can create issues, as well as seemed unnatural. Mr. Hancock is sometimes solving their short-term used here purely as a topical and difficulties. Spin Doctors advise them representative example. He is very far what questions to avoid answering. from being a lone culprit. Sometimes they provide specific There are ways of In those same phrases to use, and to developing trust and interviews, Hancock avoid. This might help positive impressions, also described as control the message, “broadly flat” what but rarely helps create beyond simply telling could already be the truth overall positive recognised as the impressions. Terrified recurrence of a steep, Advice squeezed of saying (though apparently not upward Covid-19 infection trend. If straight from the necessarily of doing!) the wrong you choose points on a timeline experts things, politicians normally avoid deviously enough, many negative answering tough interview questions, trends can be disingenuously instead responding to imaginary ones described as being broadly flat. Just they would rather have been asked. two weeks later, 13.5 million Britons were under renewed local lockdown They’re sometimes also coached to restrictions, with more to follow soon use a limited, repetitive, sterile, glib after. vocabulary, which further erodes 10 74th Edition, Autumn 2020 Would I Lie to You? (cont…) Oops! Political advisers seem unaware a slippery and dangerous downwards that, when their chip shop Elvis makes slope for us all. misleading claims, they risk alienating audiences. Who might henceforth One final example I’ll share is that of a discount the likelihood that anything fictionalised historical statesman: else they say is true. Shakespeare’s Mark Antony. The Roman General, politician, and (later) Kier Starmer, the latest ‘new’ leader of Triumvir, Consul and lover of the UK’s Labour party, suffering a Cleopatra claims, misleadingly, ‘I come credibility crisis of its own, recently to bury Caesar, NOT to praise him’10. admitted (astutely and honestly) in an Kirsty McColl would surely have interview, “First, we need to rebuild commented, whilst raising a Trust”8. Luckily for him, there are ways suspicious eyebrow: ‘…But he's a liar / of successfully developing trust and And I'm not sure about you’11. positive impressions, beyond simply After all, would you ‘lend him YOUR ears’ – and expect to ever get them back again? By Desmond Harney References: 1. Google Books. 2020. The Works Of John Dryden. [online] Available at: https://books.google.co.uk (Transl. by Henry Sheeres - Page xvi). 2. DePaulo, B., 2020. The Devious Art Of Lying By Telling The Truth. [online] Bbc.com. Available at: https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20171114- the-disturbing-art-of-lying-by-telling-the-truth. 3. Sam Leith “You Talkin’ To Me?” (2011) Chapter: The First Part of Rhetoric. 4. Petty, Richard E.; Cacioppo, John T. (1986). Paxman and Howard getting to The Point, Communication and persuasion: central and in happier times.14 peripheral routes to attitude change. Berlin, Germany: Springer-Verlag. ISBN 978-0387963440. telling the truth. For example, 5. Paul Ekman Group. 2020. How To Detect Lies By handling tough questions well can Analyzing Facial Expressions. [online] Available at: https://www.paulekman.com/blog/how-to-detect- build your credibility. And that’s lies-by-analyzing-facial-expression [Accessed 25 something we can all practice. This September 2020]. 6. The Guardian. 2020. Brandon Lewis Breaks normally includes actually Cardinal Law For MPs And Tells The Half-Truth | remembering to answer all parts of the John Crace. [online] Available at: https:// www.theguardian.com/politics/2020/sep/08/ questions asked, where possible. As brandon-lewis-breaks-cardinal-law-for-mps-and- suggested earlier, however, many tells-the-half-truth-john-crace [Accessed 25 politicians experience great difficulty September 2020]. 7. 3rd September, 2020: BBC R4 – Today programme; doing this. BBC1 Breakfast TV. 8. BBC Radio 4’s Today programme, 21/9/20. 9. ‘Michael Howard finally reveals why he wouldn't By contrast, in a live 1997 interview, answer Jeremy Paxman's question’ - by Jack Home Secretary Michael Howard Maidment, The Daily Telegraph, 31 August 2017. 10. Julius Caesar, by William Shakespeare: Act III, famously refused twelve times to scene II — line 73. answer a simple question. Perhaps 11. ‘There’s a Guy Works Down the Chip Shop Swears unsurprisingly, his party leadership bid He’s Elvis’, co-written and sung by Kirsty McColl https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4HFAztX27s soon floundered. The UK might very (with track link). well be a rather different place now, if 12. https://fanart.tv/fanart/tv/82548/tvthumb/would- i-lie-to-you-5699e55169b48.jpg. only he had felt more comfortable 13. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-51768274.