Santa Claus in It
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• THE , Christmas SUNY Issue Cobleskill VoL 7 December • 1984 , \ Issue 4 '\ Circulation 2,500 ,. _: _, a_iS_iio .. ioll!:i:io: * _'" _it ":=_ _ *.1\ _: s_1ii _UU;' _Ii.. _, __!Ii: _t ... , a.!.=_"s_IIio"j, , - ------------- ---- ---, l ,1 Coby's Favorite Christmas Specials 1. Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer 2. The Gr inch Who Stole Christmas J. Frosty the Snowman -. <>- ~ ~ . C I .. u c: '" r .... m ing to Town J Cllliil tlllUil iil • • • i 5. M ir ac le on 34th Street J by Bev Tulley Curtis Schilling- Judy, and tilt steer ing -, J J udy St . Ledger- Curtis, el ectric penci l sharpener , and puppies 'i ", Paula Swar ts-A very special someone " Santa Trent Schriefer- F requent Sex .,. Kristin Benson- M y name spelled correctly in the Staff box " ' • Bill Brierley- A m ate for Oscar ~ l Bev Tulley- A decent " real " man in m y life Claus Sarah Johnson-Dave here instead of V .P.I. 1 Belinda L ang- A car with a real engine Stacey Giordano-A in Calculus Christmas is the only time of year Mary Beth Brown-Chrls Tracey Falzu no-Alcohol lc beverages when every contract between child and Jeanine Hobbs-Snowbound in the Ski Lodge with John Jodi McKergow- Mercedes Benz 450 51, strong bloody mary parent has a Santa Claus in it. Seve K nopf-10 kegs, 5 ft. 8 inch blonde and a vacation for 2 In Santa enters through a hole in the J the Virgin Isla nds ~ Fred Monahan-for every cow m ilked a beer , also a different 'J. chimney and leaves through a hole in 1 bed to sleep in every night. I Bob Pawlowski-Co m bine, Semi, a girl who owns a " huge" ,t the pocket. l fa rm ' "# Win Joyner- a real name, a guitar, a female slob wit h a beer ~ One of these days we expect to see bell y f this sign in- a department store: "Five Lar r y Espinola-immigration, U.S. Cit izensh ip I" Anne Ry an- Freshman w r iters , . Santa Clauses. No waiting." George Clancy-New ce iling tlIes Donna James-30 G. P .A. Justto prove Santa Claus never lets Theresa Bergman- trip to Florida for 2 , M ichele Purser- a shaggy dog , .a fellow down: I know a boy who asked Julie Lagoy-go to Colorado w ith h,unn y. for a soldier suit, and fifteen years later he got it. A youngster is growing up when he finds that the opinions of the depart ment store Santa Claus do not necessarily reflect those of his parents. ••• Probably the most superior smile in ..... -----/ the world is registered by a small boy • who has found out that there is no Santa .. .from the Whirlwind Claus" and whose little sister hasn't. WHIRLWIND, December 11 , 1984, p . 2 . ., . .-. , . .. Dear Readers, Cobleskill Is alive with the Christmas spirit . Here I sit 2 hours before this Issues deadline. writing my editorial while watching "A Charlie Brown Christmas" with the rest of the people in the Vroman Hall Lounge. Soon the tree and Menorah In Bouck Square Merry will be lit. My floor is really into the Christmas spirit. One of the girls. Christmas Beth. brought a tree from home for all of us to decorate. We put it In the lounge and decorated it as best we CQuld. Lights were donated to make it shine. Some very ambitious people even strung from popcorn and cranberries for our beloved tree. (Does anyone out there rea lize how long that takes !?) The tree was then topped with "The Girls" a beautiful red foil star . Our lounge Is open for anyone who wants to el")joy the tree. We all thought it was wonderful to share our Christmas joy with others. The tree became a gathering spot for after dinner and such. Well, I guess not everyone enjoyed the tree like we did though. We Woke up one morning to find our lounge trashed and the tree lying on its side. We were perSistent though. fixing it up again as best as possible. Then. Sunday morning we awoke and found our tree miSSing . We followed the tinsel trail. recovering strings of lights and other decorations as we went. The trail led to the floor above ours. and then out the window to the ground below where the tree layed. What sort of " person" would do something like this? What could a Christmas tree do to deserve such treatment? Only the Grinch would do such a thing! However. as Grinch fans know. the Dr. Suess character was reformed. He returned the trees and other Christmas paraphernalia that he abducted from HOC-Ville, and then joined in their celebration of the holiday. I can only hope that whoever trashed our tree will do the same. After aiL what a terrible thing to have on one's consc ience! Well, our tree Is standing again in our lounge. Worse for the wear of course, but none the less there. It's not only my floor fhats had such troubles though. I' m hoping this editorial will squelch not only Christmas vandalism but all of it. People work hard to make the dorms homey and n ice. People who destroy such at. mospheres only hurt themselves and their peers. Hopefully things will be different next semester. Until then have an enjoyable and relaxing break! Good Luck on Finals. Happy Holidays!! Sincerely • Anne E. Rv an. Frli tn .. -'-.-=--1-' -1-' __J • G rt • F~ ()Ll( 'S'Wf ... , , " I"" , ~ I , • The Whirlwind f ~ • I StaffBox • , Editor-In-Chief Anne E. Ryan ! Sports Editor David Fitzgerald f , Music Editor Judy St. Ledger Classified Editor Paula Swarts \ Business Manager Theresa Miletti , Advertising Coordinator Michael Marchesiello '. Advisor George Clancv Staff Writers Kristin Benson , Marcy Maybie Douglas W. Murphy for Pizza in IIRecord Time" Thomas Pratt , Curtis Schilling Bev Tulley FASTEST· FREEST. HOnEST • THE WHIRLWIND is published monthly by an independent staff and is funded by student fees . Opinions ex pressed in columns and editorials are not intended to represent any views of the DELIVERY Student Government or the Administration of the school. Any copy may be edited or cut due to libelous statements, Obscenity or lack of space. Editorial policy of THE WHIRLWIND is de!er Call the "Patch" at mined by the Editor-in-Chief unless otherwise stated. The Editor f reserves final authority on all matters pertaining to the , newspaper . All requests for advertiSing space should be sent to our advisor. 234-4413 He may be reached at Vroman Hall Box 999 or by phone at 234-5118 during business hours (1,,, page minimum) . Thursday thru Sunday Funded by Student Associat ion II " Large Cheese Delivered "Hot" $4.75 -, , ' • . .'... <' : . , .. WH I RLW I NO, December 11 , 1984, p. J Facing Critics, Lisa Birnbach • Explains Book to Collegians by Susan Skorupa to promote it. The idea for the book came to bt:. are Just appalling, bad enough to call Even the schools dismissing her book while on a campus lecture tour for "The into question the thoroughness of her DENVER, CO (CPS)--Snugly en as sloppy and abysmal are inviting he r Preppie Handbook." research and her credibility." sconced illan elegant downtown Denver back, anticipating an updated edition in " I wrote an article for 'Rolling Stone' " I wasn't there to trash the school," hotel room, Usa Blrnbach,.road-weary 1!185 _ about the mood on campuses in the Bimbach asserts. " I was there to find and fidgety, devours equal doses of ice Bimbach, for example, last week 1980s," she explains. " It seemed like a out what was good about it and what it blue throat lozenges and Vantage handily charmed an audience at natural move for me to write the book felt like." cigarettes. Indiana University of Pennsylvania, since I was going to campuses anyway. While the University of Hawaii has Her new perm has faUed, and the cold which she'd condemned in her book as Bimbach applied fonnally to every the best beach, it also offers the worst she's fighting Is winning. home of the ugliest male students in school on' her list, approaching each food_ But while this promotional tour for America. through official channels and The U. of Wyoming's " highest her new book, " The College Book," Is " A lot of schools that aren't happy requesting time to conduct her campus In elevation" award com taking a toll, Birnbach is resolutely with what 1 wrote are assailing my research. pliments its top ranking In the "most cheerful and outspoken. research techniques and condemning Only one school, Washington and serious drinkers" and " best party Birnbach has been on the road fo r the book," Birnbach admits. "But 1 Jefferson College in Pennsylvania school" categories. much of the past four years, first have not been disinvited, uninvited or refused her request. Other notable accolades went to promoting her 1981 best-seller, " The condemned to the point where they Birnbach's critics claim she wasn't Boston U., most promiscuous; Oral Preppie Handbook," then researching don't want me back." on any campus long enough to write Roberts Unlversity, least promiscuous; and promoting "The College Book," " I think the book tiptoes a fine line credible reviews. Others are angered Ohio State, worst bureaucracy, and Cal released this September. between being informative and by her pronouncements. Tech. worst hygiene. In the last three years, she has run an amusing," she contends. " It's a fun Her claim that the Iowa State campus Besides visiting each campus, Bim exhausting gauntlet, exploring nearly book and should be read as a foo book.