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Dot Conned Career Opportunity Guide

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Dot Conned Career Opportunity Guide INTRODUCTION................................................................................................................................................................................................ 2 E-COMMERCE FOR THE LITTLE GUY 101 .................................................................................................................................................... 3 BANNER ADS – THE INTERNET’S ANSWER TO AMWAY............................................................................................................................ 5 NEED MONEY? SELL YOUR EYEBALLS!...................................................................................................................................................... 8 A CASE STUDY IN EYEBALLS.................................................................................................................................................................... 9 PROBLEMS! WITH THE ADS?....................................................................................................................................................................... 11 PLAY THE POP-UP MADNESS GAME! .................................................................................................................................................... 13 JOHN MCCAIN: SENATOR, PRESIDENTIAL HOPEFUL…PORN STAR?............................................................................................... 14 BUSINESS MODELS FOR THE NEW ECONOMY ........................................................................................................................................ 17 HOW DOES PSEUDO STACK UP IN ITS RACE TO TAKE CBS OUT OF BUSINESS? ......................................................................... 18 YOU CAN’T SPELL “FRAUDULENT” WITHOUT F-U-N! THE <GASP> FUTURE OF ONLINE ADVERTISING?..................................... 21 REVOLT!.......................................................................................................................................................................................................... 25 BRILL'S CONTENT JOINS BRAIN-DAMAGED PARADE – MACROVIEW/ICONOCAST........................................................................ 27 DESPERATION SETS IN ON THE STARSHIP INTERNET ENTERPRISE .............................................................................................. 28 E-COMMERCE FOR THE LITTLE GUY 201 .................................................................................................................................................. 30 THE WEB IS DEAD, BUT EMAIL WILL SAVE US......................................................................................................................................... 36 I.M.: INSTANT MESSENGER OR INSTANT MARKETING? ......................................................................................................................... 43 KILLER APPS.................................................................................................................................................................................................. 49 MORE KILLER APPS - BEENZ.COM AND FLOOZ.COM ......................................................................................................................... 52 MEMOIRS OF A BANNER JOCKEY .............................................................................................................................................................. 54 IS YOUR E-COMPANY KEEPING UP WITH THE JONESES?................................................................................................................. 57 BUILDING UP THE CULT ............................................................................................................................................................................... 60 WHAT IS A CULT? ..................................................................................................................................................................................... 61 POP QUIZ…................................................................................................................................................................................................ 63 DOT COM CHECKLIST .............................................................................................................................................................................. 65 TAKE MY BOSS…PLEASE!........................................................................................................................................................................... 66 DOT CONNED CAREER OPPORTUNITY GUIDE .................................................................................................................................... 68 CYBERSQUATTING........................................................................................................................................................................................ 74 ARE YOU ON DRUGS (.COM)?...................................................................................................................................................................... 80 VIRTUAL COMMUNITIES…OR CORPORATE CESSPOOLS? .................................................................................................................... 84 THE AYN RAND SYNDROME ........................................................................................................................................................................ 89 ORGANIZED CRIME DOT COM ..................................................................................................................................................................... 91 WORLD WIDE AGES OF CONSENT UNDER AGE 14............................................................................................................................. 92 LAYOFFS.COM ............................................................................................................................................................................................... 97 HOW DID WE GET HERE?........................................................................................................................................................................... 101 TOP 10 MOST VISITED WEB SITES, JUNE 2001 (JUPITER MEDIA METRIX) .................................................................................... 105 SPECIAL! SPECIAL! SPECIAL! ............................................................................................................................................................... 107 MEMOIRS OF A BANNER JOCKEY – PART II ........................................................................................................................................... 109 WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE? ............................................................................................................................................................. 113 TEN STEPS TO CREATING A NEW WORLD ORDER................................................................................................................................ 119 1 Introduction Ever wondered what it was like to pilot the "new economy"? To be a part of the "next big thing"? To be a true luminary, forging unobstructed toward the beckoning light of the modern era? Well we do. We were dot com visionaries, you see. We spent a few years working in the new economy factories. We helped produce wonder products and generated revenue like no one before us. We were fueling the furnace that powered an economy that was like nothing in recorded history. We were an integral piece of this new class of technocrats, bringing about sweeping change and making the world a better place for all. Not. Actually, we were just a few of the thousands of newly graduated gen-x factory workers, each armed with a bicycle pump and furiously inflating the wondrous "dot com bubble" (we actually like to call a “tumor” or “cyst” rather than a “bubble”, but we think it’s probably too late for that to catch on). We were driving the feverish frenzy of IPO’s, dizzying day trading, and the economic explosion of the late nineties. Yes - we were the enablers - hob-knobbing with venture capitalists and investment bankers, thinking we were at the center of it all. And, in reality, we were. Just like the tireless souls who laid down the tracks for The Pacific Railroad, enabling the great capitalists of the Industrial Revolution to…um…capitalize like never before. Just like the coal miners, endlessly hacking through earth and rock to fuel the boom of the Industrial Age – literally. The unnamed. The forgotten. The golden spokes on the wheels of the Rolls Royce of new economy wealth! Anyway, we like to think of ourselves that way, even though we were just a pack of spoiled brats who never knew war or economic crisis before - a generation whose most difficult decision in life was whether to go to the mall or the movies. A generation raised on inane local news, the promise of technology, and the welcoming beckon of an artificial consumer culture disguised as “alternative,” “hip,” and “cool”. And many of us jumped into the dot com craze – the culminating symbol of our generation - and learned a hell of a lot. This is our story. This is $12.95 out of your pocket and into ours. Before you think that this book might display some sort of “anti-dot com” slant, we would like to make one thing clear: we believe the internet is
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