Telling Our Stories, Sharing Our Lives
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Telling Our Stories, Sharing Our Lives A COLLECTION OF STUDENT WRITING BROOKLYN COLLEGE FALL 2015 Acknowledgments We are grateful for the support of: Karen L. Gould, President William Tramontano, Provost Terrence Cheng, Associate Provost for Academic Programs Sara Crosby, Director, First College Year Program Ellen Tremper, Chair, English Department Janet Moser, Director of Freshman Composition Heidi Diehl, Program Administrator, Freshman Composition Anthology Committee Elana Cogliano, Heidi Diehl, Bonnie Harris, Janet Moser Design & Layout Avinash Jairam Fall 2015 English 1010 Instructors: Stephen Aubrey, Christopher Bajana, Eliza Bent, Ashley Bhehaspat, Emma Bushnell, Elana Cogliano, Erin Courtney, Heidi Diehl, Mirlaine Docteur, Corinne Donly, Nick Fuller, Eric Howell, Nicole Lascala, Janet Moser, Sahar Muradi, Farid Nassif, Susan Penn, Kelly Roberts, Ariel Stess, Andrew Stone The Staff at Printworks And, most especially, Ruth Ozeki Cover art: Now Is Forever, Stephen Powers www.firstandfifteenth.net 3 Contents Preface 6 01 “Genzaichi de hajimarubeki—You should start where you are” Iqra Bibi, “It’s Iqra” 8 Nicholas Tan, “Nickthundarr” 11 Cole Boyd, “Housing Project Funeral” 14 Katie Zaniewska, “Katie” 16 Sofia Feldmann, “Gaze of a Desparate Worm” 18 Sadiqa Taaseen, “Holud” 20 Isabel Marcus, “The Night of the Eclipse” 22 Finn Mayock, “A Blip on the Map” 25 02 “To study the Way is to study the self” Melissa Rose Corning, “Meditation: A Tool For Life” 27 Kaila Saunders, “Searching for an Identity” 29 Kristoffer Iles, “Kris” 31 Joseph Jadoobir, “My Music, Muscles, and Melodramas” 33 Alison Derevensky, “Zenji: Time Being of Time Beings” 35 Sara Schwartz, “To Pee or Not To Pee” 37 Mohammad Javid, “Hardest Hits” 38 Kelly Pervin, “Yesterday's Scars, Today” 40 Karl Barrsjoe, “A Bus Ride for the Ignorant” 42 Sandra Bortkevich, “Displacement” 43 4 03 “To study the self is to forget the self” Francesca Montalti, “Dropped the Pudding Again” 46 Huma Kazi, “Fragile Innocence” 48 Virginia Dweck, “Zeke” 50 Maryam Choudhary, “A Tale of Partition” 52 Shokhina Badrieva, “Dreaming of My City” 54 Huda Yousuf, “Letters from an Unfamiliar Reality” 56 Natalie Lisiewicz, “Keep Your Chin Up” 58 Aivee Mathew, “Seize the Day” 60 04 “To study the self is to be enlightened by all myriad things” Anumta Raheel, “Be Like the Flower” 64 Taylor Castro, “One Voice, Four Years Apart” 67 Anonymous, “My Daddy Gets Angry Sometimes” 69 Justine Mekonen, “Discovery” 71 Hannah Da Silva, “A Vicious Cycle” 73 Diana Dyussenbayeva, “Religion and the Fear of Death” 75 Maxfield Gaj, “Never Relax” 77 Sophia Safdieh, “A Pause in Time” 79 Katarzyna Jakubczyk, “Living the Onion Life” 80 5 Preface Brooklyn College students of the class of 2019 began their college experience through the freshman common reading of Ruth Ozeki’s A Tale for the Time Being. Once classes began, students discussed Ozeki’s memoir, wrote their own stories, and attended a lecture and reading by Ozeki when she visited Brooklyn College in October 2015. We call this collection of student memoirs Telling Our Stories, Sharing Our Lives. 6 01 “Genzaichi de hajimarubeki— You should start where you are” (Ozeki 15) 7 “It’s Iqra.” by Iqra Bibi Despite my nerves I collected myself, Sitting cross-legged on my bed with my leaning down a little and whispered to her, “It’s laptop resting on my knee, I swing my pencil back Iqra…Bhaji Iqra.” and forth as I try to figure out what to do with this word, ilm1. As a mentor at the Pearls of Hope “It’s Iqra.” Well, judging by the amount of summer session, it is my responsibility to create times I’ve used this simple two-word phrase for activities with built-in lessons for the younger those who struggled to pronounce my name of students at the mosque. I start to draft a skit that two syllables, it had most definitely become my would emphasize the importance of ilm. I shift a catchphrase. bit pushing over my striped pillow just in time to th uncover my pink diary underneath labeled “Iqra.” It was the first day of 9 grade, and I rushed into my first period Geometry class. With I push aside my laptop and turn my my eyes focused on the desks, I quickly scanned attention towards the diary, flipping over the the room for an empty seat. I huffed as the only hardcover. The curiosity of the children resonates seat available in that closet sized room was in the off the page and into my ears from last week’s front. My footsteps carried me to the front of the class. room but my eyes were glued to the attendance sheet that Mr. Chen was holding. I dreaded the 1 "Bhaji Iqra, Bhaji Iqra! Why does Bhaji name pronunciation that teachers just had to Soniya always talk about the importance of make part of their first day tortures. The learning in Islam?” "Bhaji, how is smiling a form attendance sheet was surely part of my first day of charity in Islam?” “Bhaji, why is modesty of class worries; it even topped outfit worries. My different for men and women in Islam?” name had always been that phenomena that The voices of the children collided into made every teacher step back and take a second one another. The mosque’s atmosphere reeked look, maybe even a third, and occasionally a of curiosity in that one moment. I remember fourth. He was already a couple of names down stuttering and hesitating, not knowing how to the list when he stopped for a second, squinting answer. I stared down at my name-plated his eyes while moving his head back, as if his necklace questioning myself in entirety. My flag eyes were using a viewfinder to focus his of faith dangled from my neckline and that too in eyesight. Judging by the clear confusion in his a twist. The knot in my stomach turned once more eyes, I understood that it was that time of year and similar to the knot in my name it just wouldn’t again when teachers took a shot at pronouncing budge. my name. He seemed a bit taken aback, as if he were reading a novel written in a language I started to formulate an answer but could unknown to man. Maybe it was just his encounter only hear myself slur a few "um's." As I grappled with a name such as mine, I thought a bit more with uncertainty, Bhaji Ayesha- proctor of Pearls seriously. His nose scrunched as he adjusted his of Hope Mentorship- called our attention to glasses to take a closer look at the attendance declare the end of the Question Session. sheet. At this moment I had already concluded that it was my name he was trying his hardest to “Bhaji Inca, Bhaji Inca!” mouthed Samara figure out. through her toothless smile, eager to learn. 1 Ilm is the Arabic word for knowledge. The first way for modesty and humbleness, two traits practiced words of the Quran revealed to Prophet Muhummad to perfection by the leader of Muslims, Muhummad. stressed the importance of knowledge and accordingly 1 Bhaji is a respectful term used to identify a sister in knowledge is given primary priority in terms of an Islamic environment such as a mosque. It is often responsibilities. The Quran demands believers to learn used in Urdu-speaking households for children and to seek knowledge, to quench their thirst for life calling their older sister but it can also be used for with an acquisition of knowledge. Knowledge paves older girl cousins. It is a coined Urdu term for “sister.” 8 “Ihq…eyek? Um…Iraq?” said Mr. Chen A sea of hopeful eyes turned to face Bhaji as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Ayesha. Feeling defeated, I looked down at my hands. I just couldn’t put together why Bhaji Teachers actually preferred to call me by Ayesha had picked me to mentor these young my last name, Bibi, which wasn’t any better. This children, especially if I couldn’t answer their time it was my peers that looked back at me, all simplest questions. with the same question mark pasted to their face as if they were all trying to convey the same I remember my mother's voice ring in my message, “Seriously, Bibi?” They disregarded ears, "Iqra, not knowing is not a sign of failure. half of my name, half of me, half of my identity, Not knowing and admitting you do not know will but during that growing up phase, identity was the only pave the road for opportunities to learn. I least of my worries. It was all about being “cool,” believe in what I’ve given you." I close my eyes but, as you can tell, I totally lacked in that and hold onto my mother's voice, taking in the department as well, considering my “totally cool” magnitude of each of her words. I gravitate name. Mind you I surely rolled my eyes at the towards my bag and remove my diary, scribbling thought that my name was “cool.” my mother's comforting words followed by the Quizzical looks, second glances, and questions of the students. cautious nods were all my identity had given me. Jolted back to reality by the impending They might as well have referred to me as “Hey sound of the adhaan3, I turn back to my laptop you!” or “You with the scarf…yeah you.” But it with my diary in hand. I envelop myself in a cloud wasn’t until that day in Geometry, when a room of assurance realizing that every time I tried to full of teenage girls snickered, hiding their laughs hide my shortcomings in Islamic knowledge, I underneath a blanket of coughs, that I felt a pinch missed another opportunity to learn.