Confessions of a Former Retail Clerk
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Thursday, October 1, 2015 11A The Valdosta Daily Times ‘Silicon Valley’ FROM ADAM programmer who accidentally creates a revolutionary compression technology that sparks a bid- “Silicon Valley” ding war between two of the tech world’s largest firms. !!wrapped its second Despite being offered a $10 million buyout from Hooli, the ra season in June, but show’s Google stand-in, Hendrick’s opts to maintain control of his t thanks to on-demand company, Pied Piper, and accepts a “Shark Tank”-style investment viewing and a generous from an eccentric billionaire. friend with an HBO Go The show’s charm and success rests solidly on Middleditch’s account, I binge-watched slumped shoulders. The stakes are high, and each decision, false both seasons last week and start and failure creates a level of suspense not usually found in fully recommend you do the high-concept comedies. Middleditch carries the weight well and same. never fails to make viewers feel the stress and uncertainty of a “Silicon Valley” stars Thomas Mid- man with tremendous responsibility making it up as he goes. dleditch as Richard Hendricks, a shy “Silicon Valley” is one of those rare shows that X and awkward software hits its stride right out of the gate. Each episode X builds on the last. In season one, the Pied Piper gang #vdtxtra struggles to prove the value of their technology in the face of competition from well-funded knock-offs. In season two, Hendricks tries to fund his com- pany, implement a viable business model and hire new employees while a dark and persistent cloud hangs over his head, civil litigation from his for- mer employers at Hooli. The show’s laugh game is strong, and it breaks tension in ways that would make Shakespeare proud. Stand-up veterans T.J. Miller and Kumail Nanjiani and “Party Down” alum Martin Starr bring a comedic pedigree matched only by the show’s creator Mike Judge, the guy responsible for “King of the Hill,” “Office Space” and “Beavis and Butthead.” Given the show’s dead-on parody of Califor- nia tech culture, it comes as no surprise that one of Judge’s first jobs was as a Silicon Valley NOW OPEN ON SUNDAYS! programmer. Many of the laughs come from the send up of the business practices and corporate culture of companies like Google and Apple. HBO renewed “Silicon Valley” for a third season on the strength of stellar reviews and what I’m hoping is a large audience. “Silicon 12PM TO 6PM Valley” has everything that will likely be miss- ing from this fall’s network television lineup. It’s smart, it’s funny, its characters feel real and the show’s actors and writers have done such a great job of creating characters you care about that nothing is more frustrating than when the episode ends. ASSOCIATED PRESS Adam Floyd can be reached at [email protected]. This photo released by HBO shows, from left, Kumail Nanjiani, Zach Woods, and Thomas Middleditch, in a scene from the television series, ‘Silicon Valley,’ episode 3. THE LIST What is your favorite restaurant in town? Joe: Any restaurant which serves food Kristin: Bubba Jax DAILY SOUL FOOD AND DAILY Paige: Austin’s Confessions of a DRINKS SPECIALS! Adam: Big Nick’s Desiree: Royal Buffet Stuart: Bleu Cafe former retail clerk Jason: La Jalisco What would your pick be? Tell us on Twitter using #vdtxtra. FROM DESIREE Study them. Re-read them. Politely ask for clarification Years spent working retail: 8 if needed. Just because a red sweater was misplaced (see 3 for how this can happen) under a sign that says, “All 1) The joke about it being free if it doesn’t have a price Pants $10” does NOT make the sweater $10. No amount store manufacturing. It’s the back of a store where over- tag or does not scan is not funny. It never was funny. of yelling will make that happen. Speaking to a manager flow merchandise has been placed until there is room for When you say it, your cashier dies a little on the inside. won’t make that happen. Jesus himself will it on the floor. Again, not magic. 2) Please, for the love of sanity, just ask a not make that happen. 7) “I AM NEVER SHOPPING HERE AGAIN.” Bye. worker to help you get your size. They 5) All yelling does is make you Your threats are powerless here. Big box stores typically worked hard to fold those extremely neat “THAT” customer. Retail work- aren’t paying commission and the people usually scream- stacks of shirts/pants. You know you ers are, typically, young stu- ing those threats are mad that you can’t make a $40 pair aren’t going to fold it back and you dents just trying to survive. of jeans magically be $3. Farewell. know you are going to pull one They are someone’s son 8) On a similar note, haggling is not a thing. Stop from the bottom, thus destroy- or daughter. Don’t yell watching the shows about the cheapskates and realize ing the entire stack. The work- at them, even in frus- that chain stores set their prices somewhere far, far away ers more than likely went trating situations. We from where you are. The cashier has zero control over BAYTREE ROAD BAYTREE through a training JUST for are all human and how much you pay. Zero. GA VALDOSTA, folding and would rather mistakes will happen 9) Retail workers typically are forced to ask if you take three seconds to help on occasion, but the need help, would like to sign up for the store credit/re- than to refold. poor retail workers wards card and must make contact with you more than 904 3) When you hand over do not deserve your once. Don’t be a jerk. I don’t like being badgered in stores clothes that did not fit to wrath. either, but anyone ever working in one will tell you that the person working the fit- 6) When you ask it’s part of the job. ting room, you are doing it a worker to check the 10) Just be a decent human being to other human properly. The workers know back for something beings working in any field. where these items go and can you can’t find on the get them back swiftly. When floor, cool. They will go you hang everything back that check the back. However, you didn’t want around the store do not yell if what you in wrong places, the workers then wanted is not in the back. Desiree Carver can be reached at BIGNICKSONBAYTREE.COM begin a scavenger hunt from hell. The back is not a portal to [email protected]. (229) 469-6905 4) Sale signs: Read them. Learn them. ess d Pr Associate Bleu Pub Happy Hour from 5-7 p.m. and midnight to 2 a.m. ($1 PBR, $2 wells, $4 craft drafts) Happy Hour all night Bleu Cafe $2 wells all night Happy Ashley Street Station $1 PBR Tallboys all night hour from 5-7 p.m. Happy Hour from $3 craft drafts all night ($3 craft drafts, 5-7 p.m. ($2 wells, $5 pitchers, $3 well liquors, $3 $1.50 Rolling Rock, Natty Lt, PBR, house wines). High Life, or Schlitz) Happy hour $2 PBR Tallboy and High Drink all day. Life $2 off all Whiskey 939255 Lucky’s $2 domestic bottles & fireball $2 whiskey & 5 domestic Mulligan’s pitcher $2 Tuesday (except top shelf and Redbull) $2 wells all night $2 bottles, Jaeger Bombs and Fireball, Spec als Penny Budlight & Yuengling $8 liquor pitchers 11-1, $3 O Bombs & Grape Sodas $2 wells and bottles $1 Natty & PBR Draft 8 dollar buckets, 2 dollar well. $2 domestic draft $3.50 Midshelf, $2 bottles $1 Natty & Rolling Rock cans 12A Thursday, October 1, 2015 The Valdosta Daily Times The Gas Station Goat Sacrifice FROM JOE Seriously. The Everyone commits when playing game gives you a Goat Simulator — and the term “sim- “Michael Bay!” ulator” is a tongue-in-cheek term at bonus. the very least. On paper, it When I think “simulator,” I think doesn’t seem all a flight simulator, where you fly a that great. Glitchy Cessna over America’s heartland, or models, a ridicu- a racing simulator, where you drive lous premise, no a 230-mph IndyCar around the high plot, but when you banks at Michigan Speedway. play it, it’s fun, to say A goat with fireworks strapped to its back flies through the air. Not a “simulator” where a goat the least. COFFEE STAIN STUDIOS headbutts a gas station, triggering an explosion that would make Michael Maybe it’s the Bay envious. premise of a sions. Good heavens, the explosions. goat knock- Headbutting a car, or better yet, a ing ravers tanker truck, yields a satisfying (and Dead- and delightful explosion, the kind mau5) off of kaboom that warms your a 50-story heart and makes you feel great about build- life. ing, then Maybe that’s what life should be taking the all about. Cheap thrills and heart- mau5 head. Or warming explosions. mousehead. Or a I love my life. mask. Who knows. ‹————— Maybe it’s the concept of licking an automobile doing donuts in a grassy field and flying through the air as the Joe Adgie can tongue sticks to the be reached at car. joe.adgie@gaflnews. Or the explo- com. Deadmau5 head METRO | ASSOCIATED PRESS EVENTS What’s happening Shows around town? Up Ashley Street Station great Craig Waters & The Flood @ 10 p.m.