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10-2019 The Pacific Sentinel, October 2019

Portland State University. Student Publications Board

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J . . Life Saving Being Fat in The Legacy of Sexism and Ill Advice for Police Portland Elliotf Smith Sexuality I' ' ~ TABLE OF CONTENTS

3 Letter from the Editor l JL NEWS

4 Life-Saving Advice for Police

6 Former PSU Chemistry Professor Sentenced for Posting Child Porn on Blog

7 Look to the Ants FEATURE

8 Back to School Resource Guide

Women's Resource Center, Student Media, SHAC: Center for Student Health

and Counseling, Party in the Park, Millar Library Online Chat, 5th Ave Cinema

Academic and Student Recreation Center, Student Legal Services OPINION

12 Looking Past the Male Gaze

14 Schooling the Sexist

15 Looking for the One

16 Superhero Burnout

18 The FWord This Month ARTS AND CULTURE

20 Friendship and Trauma Fuel a Bold Thriller in Braid

21 And We Back!

22 When an Album Becomes a Farewell

24 Reflecting on the Legacy of Elliott Smith

7he Pacific Sentinel is Portland State University's monthly student-run magazine Twitter: Pac_Sentinel lnstagram and Facebook: PSUPacific Sentinel ~~i11'11\~i11n~1 · · !LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

The Fall term is here. Summer's end comes too soon for some and can't come soon enough for others. As the temperature cools down, the pressures of school heat up. Before we know it, we will be wishing we had more time before finals in December as we cross our fingers and hope for the best while heading off into winter break.

The good news is, we do indeed have time before those potentially stress-inducing exams. The bad news is, it's not always easy to make time for our studies, for our personal lives, for our jobs outside of school, and for taking care of ourselves.

As we settle back into our routines at Portland State, let's remember to check in with our­ selves and each other. Over my last three years at PSU, I can't advocate enough for self-advocacy. There are roughly 30,000 community members at our school, and it can be easy to feel lost in the machine we are trying to navigate through while gaining the knowledge and skills we need to succeed after college.

The best news is: You are not alone. At PSU, I have found that our fellow community members really do want us all to succeed. I have found a community at this campus that wants everyone to be able to live the best life possible. Unfortunately, I have discovered that most people here can't read minds ... yet-actually, that's probably for the best.

If you need help, make sure to ask for it, and if you don't feel comfortable asking for it yourself, chances are good there are others who are willing to advocate for you. This community is big, but it is kind. If you aren't sure what classes you should take, talk to your advisors, the professors you like, and most importantly, your peers. We all want the best for you and we want to help you find the resources and educational path that is most suited for what you need both right now and in your future.

It can be hard, and inconvenient, to make friends and talk to your peers, professors, and other administrators on campus. But if you make time to reach out and ask questions, I guarantee your academic life will be better for it. Yes, building a wealth of knowledge and skills are important, but so are building relationships.

While I am advocating for building relationships, a big part of that involves trust and respect for others and their boundaries. We are all busy, but even just taking the miniscule effort to say hello can go a long way-so can taking the equally minimal effort to say hello back.

This summer we lost peers to gun violence, we have lost students to suicide, and we regularly lose students to a financial burden that they can't sustain. Talk to your peers, talk to your profes­ sors, talk to your advisors, talk to the financial aid office, talk to your deans, talk to the president of the university. Reach out. Sometimes it might seem like reaching out isn't always working, but if you try, sometimes you just might find, you get what you need.

Love, respect, and all the best for our greater PSU community,

Party on,

Jake Johnson

Executive Editor 1he Pacific Sentinel

TJTE PACIFIC SENTINEL 3 Llf E-SAVING ADVICE fOR POLICE: RESTRAIN WITH RESTRAINT Last month, following a long investigation, Dallas Morning News and NBC5 by Margo Craig reported an incident that occurred in Dallas, Texas in 2016 that was virtually identical to an event in Portland last November. The incident in Dallas received national attention after a federal judge rejected Dallas police objections and ordered the release of body camera footage recording what happened three years ago. We watched a man die in police custody. The video was graphic. The man's death was unnecessary. The body camera footage of the Dallas event from 2016 is comparable to body camera footage of an incident that took place in Portland in 2018. The similarity is uncanny.

D allas, TX, August 2016 Portland, OR, November 2018 State Police, the Oregon State Medical On August 10, 2016, 32-year-old Tony Timpa In Portland, November 2018, Richard Barry Examiner's office determines the cause and called 911 for help. He told the dispatcher died in virtually identical circumstances. manner of death. Medical examiners tend to that he suffered from schizophrenia and According to the body camera footage from attribute fatalities like these to drug overdose, depression, that he had not been taking his Portland State University Police, campus police thereby ruling the death an "accident" that prescribed medication, and that he had used found Barry running in the street shouting, officers did not cause. That's how Barry drugs. When the police arrived, Timpa had disorganized and disheveled. Barry is clearly died, according to the Multnomah Medical already been handcuffed to a sign in a parking agitated and paranoid, experiencing some Examiner. lot by a security officer. The police are talking type of psychotic break, either drug induced or The medical examiners in Dallas, on the amongst themselves when Timpa starts to yell psychiatric in nature. other hand, ruled Timpa's death a "homicide" for help. An officer instructs Timpa to "get on Barry may not have called 911, but he did from "sudden cardiac arrest, due to the toxic the ground." Timpa replies, "No, you're gonna ask police for help. Instead, what happened to effects of cocaine and the stress associated kill me." TonyTimpa happened to Richard Barry. Barry with physical restraint." A grand jury found The police force Timpa to the ground and is forced to the ground and restrained on his the officers acted recklessly and voted to indict restrain him-prone (on his stomach) with his stomach with his hands handcuffed behind them for misdemeanor deadly conduct. But the hands handcuffed behind his back and legs zip­ his back and legs pinned to the ground. Like Dallas County District Attorney dropped the tied together-for 14 minutes. All the while, Timpa, Barry struggles and yells "Help me" charges and the officers are back on duty. Timpa pleads for help. After long minutes of over and over and over again. Like Timpa, Dallas Police officers, like officers with the struggling, Timpa suddenly stops moving and the moment comes when Barry is suddenly Portland Police Bureau (PPB) and Portland is silent. silent and ceases to struggle, a moment first State University Campus Police and Public During the incident, the police crack jokes responders somehow fail to notice. Instead, Safety, are certified first responders. They are and mock Timpa. When paramedics arrive, police crack some jokes. Paramedics arrive and trained to respond to medical emergencies, to they realize that Timpa is unresponsive. perform an assessment so sloppy and cavalier­ provide pre-hospital treatment like first aid and Paramedics give him a sedative anyway. had it been a practical for the most basic level CPR. Since the footage was released last month, Timpa is unconscious for at least four of EMT certification, they would have failed. the Dallas officers offered an explanation: when minutes before the paramedics administer The footage cuts off before anyone realizes Timpa became unresponsive, they thought he CPR. By that time, Timpa is dead. that Barry is unresponsive. Despite CPR and was being "overdramatic" and they said officers epinephrine, Barry is pronounced dead at the made mocking remarks to elicit a response hospital. fromTimpa. For those that die in the custody of Oregon Portland police, on the other hand, have not had to offer any explanations. But no one seems to be demanding any. Even with footage (a rarity since PPB doesn't use body cameras) no one is talking about how incompetent the first responders were with Richard Barry. Campus Police failed to call paramedics. Portland police failed to realize Barry lost consciousness and stunningly, paramedics failed to even recognize it. Had this been a practical for the most basic level of EMT certification, everyone would have failed. To top it off, what did officers do as soon as Barry stopped making noise and moving? They complained about blood on their uniforms. But the way police handle mental health crises is not a new issue in Portland. Portland Police have an established history of using unnecessary

4 \"EWS force against people exhibiting erratic behavior. In 2012, after an 18-month investigation, the Department of Justice found a pattern of excessive use of force by Portland Police against people suffering from mental health crises. Portland Police agreed to adopt new policies, training, and oversight, including a system to track interactions between officers and people with mental health issues. But, according to a report filed in federal court in January 2019, it is not clear how effective the changes have been thanks to an inadequate data tracking system. Law enforcement alone is not the best response to mental health and addiction crises. The sooner it is possible to bring in mental health professionals to such situations, the better it will be for all concerned. A promising first step ExD S-like deaths plunged. In the 1980s, have done something by now. The medical is underway. City Council voted to figure out with the widespread use of drugs like cocaine, examiner could improve police practices by how Portland can add a medical and behavioral ExDS-like deaths spiked again but these identifying the trend of deaths that happen health service to the public safety system, as individuals did not always have a history in custody. To do that, a death investigation proposed by the nonprofit newspaper. The of psychiatric illness. Today, regardless of should not end when methamphetamine or "Portland Street Response" would be an etiology, it is widely accepted that most lethal cocaine is discovered in the system. Neither adaptation of the "Crisis Assistance H elping ExDS patients die during or shortly after a stimulant causes fatal overdose at one finite Out On The Streets" (CAHOOTS) program violent struggle. level; the determination between "toxicity" and that is in operation with great success in Most cases of ExDS have been linked "intoxication" is to some degree speculative. Eugene. The result should be swift dispatch to long-term abuse of certain drugs such as But the data is clear: an overdose of meth or and deployment of physicians, social workers, methamphetamine, cocaine, PCP and more cocaine kills in one way, but intoxication can and other first responders better trained to recently, bath salts and flakka. Studies suggest kill a person with history of drug abuse in a handle these situations. ExDS doesn't necessarily depend on the dose different way. of drugs used, but that chronic users undergo Circumstances surrounding in custody A2010 review published inthe gradual neurological changes and become more deaths are often unclear. Autopsy reports American Journal of Forensic susceptible to ExDS over time. are seldom made public and mortality data Medical Pathology suggests that Furthermore, ExD S can cause a heart attack. is ambiguous. Furthermore, death trends A 2010 review published in the American get concealed if the medical examiner is ExDS deaths are related to stress Journal of Forensic Medical Pathology not consistent. Medical examiners did not cardiomyopathy, also known as suggests that ExDS deaths are related to stress determine that Timpa or Barry died from "broken heart syndrome," when cardiomyopathy, also known as "broken heart ExDS, even though both cases fulfill all criteria. adrenaline from emotional distress syndrome," when adrenaline from emotional In 2013, however, the medical examiner found distress causes a heart attack. To make matters that two in-custody deaths were in part caused causes aheart attack. worse, the same drugs that cause ExDS also by ExDS and methamphetamine intoxication. That being said, police can do one simple damage the heart over time. These conditions In separate incidents, police used Tasers to thing: don't tie someone up in a prone position, are precarious to say the least. take down Walter Ray McKelvey and Gregory especially if that person exhibits symptoms So what can first responders do with such Allen Price. Both died soon after, struggling of Excited Delirium Syndrome (ExDS). The agitated ticking heart bombs? For starters, in restraint. American College of Emergency Physicians stay vigilant in monitoring people in ExDS. The hard truth is that, while conceding that Task Force all agree it is a real syndrome The best way to prevent the sudden crash is to managing situations like the ones described with uncertain-likely multiple-etiologies reduce stress: cut unnecessary stimulation like above is challenging, these two individuals (possible causes). The exact pathophysiology of lights and sirens, de-escalate, get paramedics would be alive today had the police been ExDS is unclear so there isn't a test out there there as soon as possible to give sedatives and more experienced and knowledgeable. to diagnose it definitively. It's characterized by to get to a hospital. While restraint isn't the And, it is too easy for law enforcement and extreme agitation, hyperthermia and heart­ only way to induce a cardiac emergency, it can medical examiners to blame bad outcomes on racing during stress, typically associated with certainly make a fatal outcome more likely. methamphetamine or cocaine overdose when drug use and/or unmanaged mental illness. One study warns against hog-tying a person those bad outcomes could be avoided with ExDS is also associated with sudden death in in prone, not because it impedes breathing, but improved police procedures. Providing those custody. simply because this restraint induces fear by officers with alternative ways of managing Dating back to 1800, ExDS-like conditions triggering the sympathetic nervous system, i.e. those individuals-that will protect the police were seen in asylums, primarily described the "flight or fight response." Sedatives before as well as the public- without forcing them to in forensic literature since it had a 75 restraint seems to be the best solution. the ground and, under restraint, to lie on their percent mortality rate. When antipsychotic It's tough getting the police to change stomach in a prone position will save lives. pharmaceuticals came around in the 1950s, their ways, but there is one person that could The simple truth is we can do better. •

THE PACTFTC SE:\'"TTJ'\EL 5 Former PSU Chemistry Professor Sentenced for Posting Child Porn on Blog But don't count on PSU to let you know by Margo Craig I Photo by Dylan Jefferies

On July 8, 2019, former PSU chemistry professor Niles Lehman was sentenced to two and a half years in prison for possessing and distributing child pornography through his Tumblr blog. Lehman, 57, resigned from his faculty position on May 31 after teaching at PSU for 17 years. In a video of the sentencing hearing posted by The Oregonian/OregonLive, Lehman's lawyer, "We don't have a good community if we're not all transparent," Michael Romano, called it "an unusual case," said then-Acting PSU President Stephen Percy on May 17, 2019, during the Student Media Press Conference. since there was no evidence that Lehman molested or abused children. "What we had is just assumed the role that week, noted that he speaking with the press about the matter. One an unfortunate downward spiral," Romano said, "(didn't] know much more" about the case beyond student asked, "How are you going to change "starting 2016 to early 2018 where [Lehman] what he had read in media outlets. "(I] hope I'm the communication chain so that we find out took an interest in some of these materials along not contradicting anybody here," President Percy about this in a different manner?" The question with other taboo subjects." answered, "but there should be a way to reach went unanswered. At that time, several graduate According to Multnomah County Deputy out about something like that," before asking students from Lehman's research lab had already District Attorney, BJ Park, Tumblr first alerted reporters what they thought would be the best transferred doctorate advisors. the FBI in August 2018 that a user was uploading way to do so. "There are human resource policies Due to confidentiality laws, it is unclear when child porn files, videos and photos to an account. and procedures we have to follow that are based Lehman was placed on administrative leave and That account was traced to Lehman. Although on law and based on practice," Percy continued. if he was granted an exception to PSU's policy, authorities said Lehman had hundreds of files "That doesn't mean we can't say that that kind of which states an employee qualifies for paid leave involving children aged 3 to 12 on his iPhone pornography is horrible, we don't want it here, for court appearances unless the employee is a and other devices, he was charged with viewing and it's simply unacceptable. And letting that plaintiff or defendant. and sharing 35 illicit images of children between message come out is something we'll work on." Following Lehman's sentencing hearing, October 2017 to September 2018. Chris Broderick, Associate Vice President for The Pacific Sentinel reached out to PSU Ultimately, Lehman plead no contest to two University Communications, replied that the Communications and Interim President Percy counts of encouraging child sexual abuse in the Provost (Susan Jeffords), sent an email to faculty with more questions. Broderick responded that first-degree, The Oregonian/OregonLive report­ and staff after Lehman was indicted on April 9. Lehman's lawyer told him Lehman's posts and ed. In a plea bargain, the remaining 33 counts "I mean, I think it was circulated by the faculty activity didn't take place on PSU campus, "but were dismissed. to some of the students in chemistry," Broderick you would have to check with [his lawyer] and PSU gave a statement to media outlets, stating said. "That's the way it's typically done ... when the DA'.s office on that to confirm." "It is shocking and upsetting to learn that a PSU [faculty are] on paid administrative leave." According to the Multnomah County employee has engaged in this type of illegal and When The Pacific Sentinel requested a copy District Attorney's office, the child pornography improper conduct." of that email, Broderick clarified that it was investigation did not find any evidence that Neither the university or law enforcement sent to faculty of College of Liberal Arts on Lehman's criminal activity took place on have plans to notify students of Lehman's April 22. "D ear Colleagues," it begins, "We campus or affected any students. However, the conviction. know many of you have questions and concerns investigation did not contact any current or When PSU awarded Lehman the Senior after seeing news reports .. .B ecause those of former students about the case either. Faculty Research Excellence Award in 2018, us in senior leadership were not aware of this Interim President Percy did not respond the Office of Academic Affairs posted a indictment until it was made public earlier this to further questions following the sentencing congratulatory biography on its website, noting month, we understand, along with you, that it hearing. • undergraduate and graduate students in his lab is challenging to process this information." The regarded him highly "for his mentorship and email concludes by providing a link to University If anyone has further information about Lehman training." resources available to faculty and staff before and this case they are encouraged to email news. Yet when it comes to Lehman's departure referring students to the Dean of Student Life [email protected] and conviction, PSU never planned to notify to "find out about resources available to you." the campus community, referring instead to the It is unclear which, if any, students received the Oregon Laws Public records disclosure public statement given to media outlets. notice. exemptions: On May 17, during the quarterly student But at least some students had already been media press conference, The Pacific Sentinel asked addressed by then, when HR held a discreet Information of a personal nature: if the administration planned to reach out to the meeting with Chemistry Department faculty https://www.oregonlaws.org/ ors/ 192.355 (2a) PSU community more directly. and graduate students on April 15. HR Information of a personnel nature: Interim President Stephen Percy, who had representatives discouraged attendees from https://www.oregonlaws.org/ors/352.226 (13)

6 \'EWS UPDATES ants have not only survived-they've thrived! How?

Studies reveal other characters at play in the ant-fungus story of coevolution. The story includes a chemical arms race between the leafcutter ant and a co-evolved pathogen. The Escovopsis is a parasite that is specialized to grow in the ant garden. Left alone, Escovopsis would decimate an ant colony. Acromyrmex ants evolved several sophisticated defenses: antibiotics and microbial warfare. Ants are the only groups of insects that have metapleural glands (1), exocrine glands that secrete compounds that serve as powerful pesticides. They also use an antibiotic-producing bacteria, much like humans do with modern medicine. Escovopsis evolved defenses to evade the antibiotics, much like the multi-drug resistant I superbugs that humans face (2). The ants are in a constant battle to keep this pernicious parasite at bay and to protect their monocultured LOOK TO THE ANTS fungus.

Article and illustration by Margo Craig Today, humans face the consequences of monoculture practices and antibiotic overuse. The coevolution of ants, their fungus, and "Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise: microbes, spans over millions of years. What Which having no guide, overseer, or ruler, can we learn from the humble ant? The details Provideth her meat in the summer, and gathereth her food in the harvest." of their lives show the extent of specialized Proverbs 6:6-6:8 adaptation. Like humans, ants are social. Like humans, these ants use monocultures to sustain large societies. Like humans, this makes them Twelve thousand years ago, ancient human their pet fungus out of the wet rainforest and vulnerable. And, like humans, these ants use civilizations began to farm. In an era now into a drier climate. To keep the fungus alive, a cache of chemical and microbial warfare to called the Neolithic Revolution, groups of they made gardens in underground climate fend off disease. The leafcutter ants live in a humans abandoned their nomadic lifestyles controlled chambers. Underground, the complex system that traces the sequence of to begin farming; and over many years, fungus and ants relied on each other through strategies over time, as their world of competing transitioned from gathering plants to gardening millions of years of coevolution. The fungus species evolved. Researchers are studying to managing crops. Ancient civilizations were eventually became a unique monoculture, ants as a potential source of new antibiotics, also using certain molds and plant extracts totally dependent on its ant hosts. Researchers and conversely, studying their pathogens as a to treat infections long before antibiotics speculate that the dry climate allowed the ants source of insecticides to control invasive ant revolutionized the 20th century. Yes, humans to develop sophisticated chamber techniques, populations. What other lessons could humans have come a long way. But, when it comes to like digging deeper to control temperature, learn from the ancient ant societies that still farming and medicine, humans are not the or bringing water from plants to maintain thrive? • pioneers. humidity. But ants face a problem any farmer does when raising monocultures: disease. 60 million years ago, long before humans evolved, a special ant in the rainforests of South Monoculture is the agricultural practice America was beginning to farm fungus. Today, of growing a single crop or breed at a time. (1) there are 250 known species that make up the Monoculture farming is a gamble-without https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/ "attine" group of ants, defined by the peculiar genetic diversity, many of these crops are PL00012660 trait of fungus-farming. All fungus-farming susceptible to disease. What happens if the (2) ants evolved from one ancestor, but some ants crop your life depends on dies? For the attine https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/ farm a fungus that cannot exist without the ants, resorting to other farming techniques or pubmed/21148916 ants. Thirty million years ago, these ants moved food sources is not an option. However, these

NEWS ANALYSIS 7 .. -

1. WOMENS RESOURCE CENTER Location: Basement of Montgomery 1802 SW 10th Ave. Women's Resource Center Our Women's Resource Center is more than Moved! (WRC) now located: just a calming basement living room to relax 4th floor of SMSU in room 439 724 Harrison I FMH is in before your next class. They have a wealth of Fariborz Maseeh Hall resources for those who need them, from free pads and tampons to confidential support services. It acts alternately as a study space, event space, crisis center, and specialized health center. The volunteers at the WRC are endlessly kind and understanding, making the entire experience feel safe. Ifyou want to get more involved with feminist campaigning or awareness raising, this is the place to start. Either by becoming a WRC volunteer yourself or by attending events, you are making your voice heard. Being there to support your peers through difficult challenges is a feminist act in itself and that's what the WRC is best at. They run through an annual schedule of events with the aim of making campus a safer place: D omestic Violence Awareness Month in October, Social Sustainability Month in November, and Sexual Assault Awareness Month in April. You can also contact them to pitch your own feminist event. Perhaps the most important work the WRC does is run the Sexual and Relationship Violence Response Program. This program is open to all genders and orientations. It aims to provide those who have experienced assault the resources they need to feel safe, to report, or just to have someone

8 BACK TO SCHOOL GUTDE 6

illJqJ11. UOSI.JV ,(.q SUOIJD.Jlfn· II I // uosuqo[ 3~0[ {q The New Yorker to PSU Vanguards New York Times. We take a step groups are doing volunteer work around Portland. There are clubs for back and try and look at some of the major issues, trends, and aspects of latin dance, various leanings all across the political spectrum, groups for contemporary life. students from various cultural backgrounds, and a club that is devoted to Student Media organizations at PSU provide students real life the vague idea of absurdist cliche school clubs. opportunities to dip their toes into journalism, TV, radio, and film Party in the Park is a great opportunity to get a quick glimpse at all production, in addition to the vast worlds of creative writing, illustration, the different things happening on a regular basis at PSU. Without that and graphic design. We provide students with the opportunities knowledge, college can feel like a lonely, gruelling place. Going to class they need to see how a lot of theoretical applications of their college and doing homework is valuable, but can be hard and has the potential knowledge can succeed, fail, and learn from those failures and successes to be isolating. Party in the Park is a great example of what makes PSU through applying those skills to projects outside of the classroom. All of a truly special, inviting, and inclusive place to go to school. our organizations are looking for students to follow their interests and Ifyou miss Party in the Park or want another opportunity to find out about get involved with us. clubs on campus, check out Party in the Ballroom in Winter term, andyou can Students have gone on to work for Willamette l#ek, Portland M ercury, always go talk to the SALP office in Smith, SMSU room 119, to find resources The Oregonian, and other publications. Students from PSU.TV have about what is happening at PSU. (Submitted by]akejohnson)

10 BACK TO SCHOOL GUTDE 5. MILLER LIBRARY ONLINE CHAT 7. ACADEMIC AND STUDENT RECREATION CENTER SERVICE Location: Urban Plaza Location: https://library. pdx.edu/services/ Besides housing the transportation office where students can get ask-a-librarian/ discounted rates for public transit passes based on student and The Millar Library chat service has helped low-income statuses, the ASRC hosts a massive wealth of other build my bibliographies into much more robust opportunities for students. The outdoor program offers outdoorsy types collections of sources than I could ever come opportunities to hike, camp, go snowboarding and skiing, rent kayaks up with on my own. Though you're becoming and other gear necessary to take advantage of all of the sweet sweet a scholar in your own right, it doesn't hurt to ask for help in finding the nature that surrounds and winds through Portland. If you want to see perfect source for your work. I didn't even know about this feature of the what all the bicycle fuss is about in Portland, the P SU Bike Hub lets Library website until halfway through my Junior year. Despite it being you rent bikes, helps and teaches you how to fix your own, and has displayed on the front page of the site, it doesn't exactly stick out, nor is everything you need to make sure that you have the lights and safety it immediately apparent just how useful it is. Now that I know about it, I use it every time I have to turn in a bibliography. To use the chat, click on the "Chat" button in the top right-hand corner of the Millar Library website (Library.pdx.edu). Another window will open. From here, you can ask any question related to your current project that you may have. I've used the service to find research papers, books, to check if something is currently available in the library and have it ordered if it's not, and even to bounce ideas off of the librarian on the other side. Generally, the librarians have a very open mind and can recommend things you may have glanced right by in a simple search. Even if you're skilled in finding the perfect sources for your papers, it can be nice to double check with a librarian about anything important you may have missed in your search. Whether it be for your thesis, a final paper in a major class, or a creative project, using the library in any capacity is an underutilized resource that everyone should take 8. STUDENT LEGAL SERVICES advantage of. (Submitted by McKinzie Smith) Location: Located in SMSU, room M343. The mandatory student incidental fee tacked onto tuition grants 6. 5TH AVE CINEMA you access to several services worth taking advantage of. Are you Location: 5th & Hall looking to change your name or gender? File a restraining order? Movie theaters in Portland are truly special File for bankruptcy? Student Legal Services (SLS) can help. One and PSU's 5th Avenue Cinema on SW Hall perk that comes from the hefty fee (a whopping S263 per term for Street is no exception. If you're looking for full-time students) could be a lawyer. Whether you need legal advice the latest releases, keep moving. 5th Avenue or representation, it's easy to schedule a confidential appointment to Cinema, one of the few student-run theaters consult legal professionals right on campus at no additional cost. They in the country, shoots for titles you wouldn't can't discuss legal matters over the phone, but they do offer drop-in otherwise see on the big screen. The PSU Film Committee does an ex­ hours for consumer, landlord tenant, small claims and traffic matters. cellent job selecting movies that serve a simple mission: to entertain and Plus, the free notary service is an easy way to save ten bucks. educate in a stress-free environment. Every Friday through Sunday, (fall If their expertise falls short, SLS may refer you to a specific clinic or through spring and a little less during the summer) 5th Avenue Cinema private attorney. Check out the website for a hub of local legal resources features one or two films from an eclectic, diverse selection (often art­ devoted to specific areas of law (immigration, family, criminal are just a house and delicious) from all over the world, primarily on 35mm film, few), but make sure to schedule an appointment with SLS to ensure you 16mm on rare occasions (goodies for cinephiles), and sometimes digital. get all the support available to you. Usually, I've never heard of the featured movie and that's the way There are some caveats: If SLS helps you with a case, the legal services I like it. I recommend skipping the part where you watch a trailer to are free, but you'd still need to cover other costs like filing fees and decide whether or not you see the movie. (Or, you can go to one of their records requests. Since they only practice law in Oregon, they can't help "blind screenings.") To see a movie without expectations is the best blind students with issues in other states. They don't assist cases between two date, especially at 5th Avenue Cinema: if you hate it, just leave! It won't students, a student and PSU administration, faculty or staff. cost you a dime. It's free for PSU students (bring your student ID), and Ifyou are an aspiring legal professional, consider applying to only S4 for other students and seniors, and SS for the general public. "Explore the Law," a free program that includes mentorship with legal Plus, free popcorn for all! The seats are comfy. It's wheelchair accessible professionals, a mock law school class, and law school prep workshops. and they offer two kinds of accessibility headphones: one that amplifies (Application deadline is in Spring and the program spans from Fall dialogue for guests with impaired hearing and one that describes scenery through Winter quarter. Check out the website for more information, and action for guests with impaired vision. like a rubric for how they accept applications.) (Submitted by Margo Craig) Check out the calendar on their website (www.Sthavecinema.com), plus a list of every movie featured since 2016. (Submitted by Margo Craig)

THE PACTFTC SENTTKEL 11 Women have been sexually silenced for too long by Zoe Sandvigen

Sex is one of the pinnacle points of human political and social change, women once again know how to express them? existence. stood up and fought for social equality with the Women's Liberation Movement. Now, in Men have always been vocal and expressive Maybe because the goal of every living 2019, women are still fighting for their rights. of sexual desire and pleasure, whereas women organism is to procreate, maybe because the Our right to equal pay, equal rights, equal have often been silenced. Think about the drive to have sex is etched into our DNA, representation in the world is still often denied Wolf of Wall Street starring Leonardo Dicaprio. or maybe because it simply feels good, sex is us. Though the movie is placed in a very specific everywhere. This is especially true for humans, time and place, almost all interactions with who have developed in a way where sex is now How does sex relate to the Women's Rights female characters are centered around sex. not only a means to survive, but a recreational Movement that began 170 years ago? In lots Sex and sexual desire. Sexual desire tailored activity. of ways, the most important being the fault in to their male counterparts. This happens over our society that has prevented women's true and over again right under our noses. Even in When does sex enter our lives? At 16 in your freedom for centuries - patriarchy. movies like the A vengers series where, within parents old car? The night of your marriage? the team of six heroes, the only woman is Somewhere in-between? The grooming process What is patriarchy? It's not just a buzz dressed in an all-black leather-looking body actually begins well before any of that. In word used by millenials to throw the blame suit to show off her figure. Would a woman childhood you come across pictures on the onto men. Patriarchy, by definition, is a social saving the world really want to do it stuck in a internet, in movies, and in books. Your friends system where men hold primary power. It skin tight bodycon suit? No. It is no wonder the tell you secrets about what they think sex is. should be agreed on by now that our social discourse of heterosexual intercourse caters to There is nothing wrong with being curious system, as well as most others in the world, male fantasy, because it is all we ever see. about one's sexuality at a young age. It is a are patriarchal. Not only do men hold most natural progression of growing up. What is not positions of power and privilege, but they often The sexual desires of men have traditionally natural are the preconcieved notions of what control the paths history has taken. War, the taken precedence over the voices of women. sex should look like, versus the reality of it. economy, presidential elections, and sex. Yes, sex. If men have told us the right way to spend Male sexuality is portrayed everywhere: In Women's rights movements date back to our money and lead a nation, they have also movies, magazines, the news, porn, even in 1848, when the Women's Suffrage Movement told us how we should have sex. the classroom. Early exposure to sexist media roughly began. Women from many walks oflife unknowingly plants the precedent into young demanded the recognition of their oppression. Women have been taught to cover girls minds that they have to be submissive This led to the petition to give women the right themselves, to never expose too much to the to men. Women, having always had a lack to vote at the turn of the century, eventually male gaze. This expectation has played a part in of representation, are expected to follow the being granted in 1919 by James R. Mann. the oppression of female sexuality. If we aren't sexual trends of men. Though the penis is During the late 1960's, a time of colossal supposed to show our bodies, how would we glamorized and powerful, the clitoris is often

12 OPT\'TO~ photo illustration by Jenna Gagnon

laughed off as some mystery that women talk To start, it is time to open the floor to women about. Why is this? Why is a man's pleasure to be able to talk about sex comfortably without indulged, while a woman's is seen as a joke? judgment. If men get to talk about themselves and their wants why shouldn't women? By It all ties back into the same argument of lifting the stigma off female pleasure, women the struggle of women's empowerment. These can begin to explore themselves, their desires, problems are not new, just displaced. In today's and what great, amazing sex looks like through world, women have made leaps and bounds a female body. If women feel comfortable and compared to the first protests hundreds of years excited about sex, then the act itself will be ago. It is now becoming acceptable to talk about better for all partners involved. sex, sexual experiences, desires, mishaps, and everything in between. More and more women What do women really like? This is a question are standing up to address the elephant in the men have asked for generations. It is time to room of where the clitoris actually is; or better explore the beauty and potential of a woman's put, what real female sexuality is like. More body. With this, we hope to enter a new era recently, media has served as a platform for of sexual equality: an agreement between men women to be vocal. Spaces such as podcasts, and women to respect and cater to each of their TV shows, music, magazines, and social media bodies, being both very different and similar. It have been a tool to help leverage the crippling may be a man's world for now, but women have oppression of a life lived in the shadow of a so much more to offer that hasn't even been penis. explored yet. •

I'd like to stop and clarify that these problems shouldn't be blamed on all men. The trends and power dynamics of our society have been in place for hundreds of years, if not thousands. We can't help what we have been taught and how we were raised, but we can help what we do with it. Patriarchy isn't a one size fits all word-bomb to justify all things unfair for women. It is a noun to explain a society's gender-based power dynamics. Just how men can't help being raised with gender-based privilege, women can't help being encouraged through their lives to remain tight-lipped on their inner lives.

It is with this combination ofvariables that we can see a world in which female sexual desires and needs are often suppressed. Heterosexual sex often becomes one-sided since, though a woman is involved, the act itself has a tendency to be driven by the male's desires first. Sex is often not about the pleasure that a woman feels, but the completion of a man's orgasm. Is this because female orgams isn't necessary in order to become pregnant, so the importance of it has been forgotten? How can we change our societies views on female sexual desire and needs?

THE PACTFTC SE:\TI~EL 13 SCHOOLING Calling out poor behavior where we see it is afeminist act by ZoeSandvigen THE SEXIST Illustration by Syd Oolzine

I went out to get groceries the other day wearing under the ruling of men for as long as modern 1964 outlawed discrimination based on things bagging sweats, an ill-fitting t-shirt, and hair civilization has existed. It hasn't even been 100 like race and sex, we may hopefully see more thrown up in a bun that looked like it had survived years since women got the right to vote, and even protections while we're still here. a hurricane. Equipped with my backpack and today women only get .80 cents to every dollar Sexism and racism are very different levels of headphones placed over my ears, I went about a man makes. It is no wonder that even though oppression, and I am in no shape trying to compare my errand looking forward to going home and the world is changing and feminism is as alive the two as equal. The discussion of human rights, making dinner for mysel£ Upon leaving the store, as it's ever been, the long standing socialization moral values, and how the distribution of power I was holding three bags and dreading the fifteen of women to stand second to men lingers on. affects our lives is a conversation worth having. minute uphill walk back to my apartment. A recent nation wide survey found that 6 in 10 Patricia Hill Collins is one of the most With my music turned up, I began my walk women identify as a feminist, as well as a third of recognized Black female sociologists. She created home, thoughts drifting away before I was men. Even with these statistics approaching the a paradigm known as the Matrix of Domination abruptly stopped by a man on the other end of majority, some still view the movement as one that looks at how race, class, and gender are all the crosswalk. He was obviously talking to me, based in anger, having a tendency to blame men interconnected. This theory was initially used his lips moving in my direction. I struggled to pull for all of women's problems. There is still a very to study Black women but has been applied off my headphones before quietly speaking, "I'm strong disconnect between men and women on much more expansively. This theory looks at the sorry, what did you say?" what feminism and equality mean. intersection of a person's race, gender, and class He began to tell me that I was cute and that he As a sociology major, I spend my time studying as a whole instead of separating these individuals wanted to take me out right that second to coffee. the behaviors of society and the interactions into different groups. Now sweating from holding my bags in the hot that make up our everyday lives. Even with the How does this relate to being asked out on the sun I politely declined, saying that I had to get education to analyze my surroundings through sidewalk? On a micro level, it doesn't. But from home. He refused to let me leave and blocked this lens, I still walked away from a man that made a roomed out perspective, the immensity of the my path around him, demanding I give him my me feel afraid by giving him a smile. macro level connections of these problems to one attention. He then spends the next few minutes Most women have similar stories to tell. To another is astounding. In fact, every interaction asking me vague questions about myself, trying make a clear distinction, this is not about how all we have is simply another link in a never ending to convince me to stay with him while my bags men are disrespectful, or even men themselves, but chain, one ring in an infinite ripple, for this is how begin slipping out of my hands. I am frustrated. of the nature of our culture. Even in the presence society perpetuates itself. When looking at the In a desperate attempt to get him to leave me of feminism and educated activists working Matrix of Domination as a theory of trying to alone, I offer up my phone number. He refuses, towards an equal society, it can sometimes become understand the complexities of a society's cultural claiming that I am just trying to get away from the same battle that has raged on for years: Men norms, being asked out and harassed on your way him. Eventually, I just push past him and continue vs women. In reality we stand on different sides home from work doesn't seem random at all, but walking even though he follows me. Still asking of the same coin, constantly in contrast, but almost a predictable expectation. me about myself, he somehow manages to insult definitely not one without the other. In a situation If this is the case, how can we break a cycle of my studies, my work, and ask if my roommates like this we cannot expect the other to understand norms and predictable behavior of not just one vagina is tight. without first exhibiting change in a society that group, but of an entire society? We can't. Well, not After all this you'd think I'd tell him to go to has neglected to recognize its faults. all at once, anyway. The only way to create change hell, but instead I did the worst possible thing­ How do we reverse something that is part of is to start having those difficult conversations apologize. the foundation of the culture we have built our about women's rights, about female oppression, I apologized. I told him I was sorry that I didn't lives upon? I want to go out and that I was sorry for being busy. often wonder ,.-t I was sorry that he walked me all the way home if it will ever .l11 ~:.; la even though the whole time my heart was beating be possible to from fear. I was sorry for everything. be completely 'ff.P v '~~ Once I got back to my apartment, I sat in equal to men, I _..,_ the kitchen and thought about what had just and though 1 ~ .o/.:?~!;V filOV[D!i/r happened. How I had asked to be left alone. definitely not ,,., How he hadn't let me walk farther than an arms within my /f;1trr TOf AY s ~ length away from him. How he had hugged me lifetime, I do when I scrambled to get away from him. Yet here believe in the I was, apologizing for my own harassment. Why? future of this foRRi foR ~\~o~S' Because that is what women do. We are sorry for cause. Much \O'/JC ~ - taking up the air that we breathe. as the Civil It is no secret that women have been oppressed Rights Act of

14 OPT\'TO\T 0c: racist oppression, economic oppression. Ignoring ·;:; 0 or refusing to acknowledge the discrimination in Q a society is often the result of a lack of awareness, ~ CJ) >. and though it is not always one's fault if they aren't .D c: exposed to information, that's where the rest of .g us come m. b"' :i It can take decades to change society's mind :::l on a topic, and sometimes an entire lifetime to - get laws passed, but it only takes a moment to engage with another person. Just one moment to take the time to talk to one another, challenge our beliefs, open our minds. The human brain is not one without the ability to evolve, but rather sometimes full of long-held assumptions that Therapy can be a way to sort out a variety made sure to use those first meetings to feel become somewhat of a truth. Truth itself, being of problems, be they related to personal out whether or not I felt a connection before the one constant we cling to as human beings, struggles, mental illness, or self-discovery. committing to a long-term partnership. makes it difficult to object to, yet this is what From big things like grief or depression I also don't feel bad about finding a new guides us. Our truth of the world, our beliefs and to smaller things like moving home or therapist ifl feel my current one is no longer values, our self-perception in relation to others, forming study habits, a therapist can help working. This is a natural part of the therapy our inner compass and intuition. We rely on these with anything you may need in your life at process and nothing to get down on yourself feelings everyday to tell us how to react and how any given time. Everyone can benefit from about. to communicate. therapy, even if you don't think you need it. As with any other kind of relationship, So, next time you find yourself in my shoes, Psychologist Marian Marguiles believes that it can take time to know exactly what or any pair of shoes, when a situation unravels, therapy's true beauty is in helping the client you want. There are lots of different be present. Be aware, have those difficult get to the bottom of their most intimate therapists that specialize in a wide variety conversations, educate one another. If asked out problems. "If you're not getting to the cause of topics, treatment plans, and techniques. by a man who refuses to take no for an answer, of the pain, you're essentially chained to the You can seek out therapists for any specific tell him why he is wrong. Ask him what he thinks past," she told Forbes. "Psychotherapy gets issue or disorder, from anxiety to substance and then object. At the end of the day we are all to the root." abuse to relationship problems. If you don't human and we are all equal in the purest sense This healing is dependent upon your feel comfortable opening up one on one, of the word. It is up to every single one of us to relationship with the therapist you've chosen. group therapy or art therapy might be make a difference and to take accountability for Allowing yourself to be open about your life viable alternatives. the world we live in. It may be scary, but the only and putting in the work with them to change Factors such as insurance and scheduling thing stronger than fear is hope, and it is that negative patterns is a huge part of the therapy will also come into play. Some therapists longing for a better life that drives us above all. • process. However, the process can be stalled may not be available to you, be it because of if you aren't compatible with your therapist. economic reasons, their current availability, Compatibility, that indescribable spark felt or their location. This can make finding with the best of your friends and partners, a therapist even more difficult. There are Q) ~ by McKinzie Smith is something we understand as a given ways to navigate these issues, including =8 Finding the right therapist can be just as requirement in most other relationships. looking on websites like goodtherapy.org ~ elusive as finding the right romantic partner. So why not consider the same with where you can sort therapists based on your g A therapist is a partner of sorts, so why don't your therapist? needs. It's worth noting that therapists are 0 ~ we put more emphasis on compatibility Despite the positivity spread about how generally understanding of your limits and Ill! \ fll in our search for the right mental health great therapy is, it isn't unusual to find a bad will typically help figure out a schedule and ..._ •.-4 ,-i fll professional? therapist your first time around. M y first payment plan that works for you during ~ t Atsomepoint,MillennialsandGeneration time in therapy was entirely unhelpful. I was your initial phone consultation. You may ..1...... 1 • .-4 ..,..... 0.. ,;, Z gained an interesting reputation: We go sixteen, recently diagnosed with an anxiety also be interested in services like CIMHS or \i-4 ~ ~ to therapy. This reputation isn't unfounded, disorder, and having trouble eating because betterhelp.com; online programs at free or Q ~ ~ with 35% of Millennials and 37% of Gen of frequent panic attacks. The therapist I low-cost prices des igned to be an alternative ~ ~ ~ Z currently in therapy. These rates are was seeing had latched on to the idea that I option to face-to-face therapy. C bl) higher than those in the Gen X (26%) and wasn't eating and tried to diagnose me with Whether you're looking for your CJ:) ~ .C Baby Boomer generations (22%). It's not an eating disorder. No matter how much first therapist or unhappy with =~ ;..; necessarily because we're less healthy (our I tried to tell her that I could eat just fine your current one, I wish you luck • ~ ;.a ~ rates of mental illness are similar to Gen when I wasn't anxious, she continued with in your search.I tcanfeeldiscouragingtorealize ..::'i "5 QJ X but worse than Boomers), we just seem her own ideas instead of listening to mine. your therapist isn't working for you, but 0 '5 to value seeking help. Emotional honesty After discontinuing my time with her, I took the right one is out there. Your health is a 0 bl) ~ is a value we share. Going to therapy is two years off of therapy before realizing I top priority and worth the time it takes to 0 .9 2 just one way to get more in touch with still needed help. The three therapists I've research a new therapist or a new type of . ., C-- ~ ourdesiresandfears,butit'sanoutletmanyofus had since then have all been exactly what therapy. • ~ ~ 0.. have chosen. I needed at the time I needed them, but I

TTTE PACTFTC SE\"TT\TEL 15 0 ol] ~-I ti, / ~ ,~ar i7 :: f1 0 [\ 0 fli7 \1, ~- I ~ '. ,J ~ - '-.' \I ~,,,..- v ' ~ -·- \1 0 onl7 \ ~ --- (Jr ~ - - ~/ I'• - 11 r .. - q ,-~ 0 D o 11 . 1" - : - -:- , ·1 ) r D o D 1·v ~, , ~ ~ .. 11 ' ~ 1 , rr - ~- .. ~ - - f

Superhero Illustrations by Josh Gates Burnout Marvel and Disney are at the top of the world ... Now what? by McK.inzie Smith

With Marvel heading into "phase four," it seems pertinent to ask: Will Endgame into the position of highest-grossing film of all time. we ever be burnt out on superheroes? On the other hand, non-fans are fatigued. Twitter user @ianamurray As ofJuly 21, Marvel Studios have announced their plans to go ahead states, "idk i used to love the mcu but at some point i just got bored." with five more films into the year 2021, along with multiple smaller [sic] Not everyone has an interest in superhero films and it's beginning to projects for television. Black Widow, Thor, and Doctor Strange are seem like that's all there is at the local multiplex. spotlit, with each having their own films in the works. This brings us to Disney. Disney owns Marvel Studios and has since Many expressed excitement over this. To quote directly, @DC_ 2009. Aside from owning Marvel, Disney owns all content from ABC, Marvel18 Tweeted, "I'M SO EXCITED!!!!! " Yes, that's five exclamation 21st Century Fox, Touchstone Pictures, Lucasfilm, Hollywood Records, marks and yes, they used a meme of Sebastian Stan as Bucky Barnes and Core Publishing. They also hold large shares of ESPN, A&E, the shooting emoji hearts out of a gun. Marvel has dedicated fans. And those History Channel, Lifetime, Hulu, and VICE. Some consider this close fans have plenty to look forward to. They're the ones that shot Avengers: enough to a monopoly to warrant concern. Emily Todd VanDerWerff 16 OPTNTO\I wrote in Vox, "if Fox is now part of Disney, be franchisable? I'm hoping not. Not everyone respectively. But let's be real: This isn't enough. then it's hard to imagine that we're not heading has to be tired of Marvel or Disney or Star Seeing people like you on screen, especially toward a universe where essentially all of the Wars. Loving those things is great and not an in these franchises, can be a powerful thing. major media providers in the world are owned unpopular opinion. However, there's a part of But this lip service to diversity is few and far by three or maybe four companies. And while me that hopes that, at some point in the not­ between and doesn't represent the struggles the most obvious issues with that stem from so-distant future, one of those things fails. If specific to the communities it aims to give a how media consumers are able to get news that money makes the world go round, the only way voice to. takes on corporate interests, there are a host to diversify the film industry is to let big budget of others that range from the political to the films fall flat. But we're not there yet. Someday, something will have to give. artistic." Disney having a grip on almost every Maybe it'll be Marvel, maybe it'll be Disney major entertainment property in the world Instead, films without a franchise attached proper. But the burnout will come. As long as doesn't exactly paint a picture of a diverse are going to continue to underperform. Films these studios keep pumping out similar films at media landscape. like Booksmart, 7he Last Black Man in San the rapidly accelerated rate they are currently Francisco, and 7he Farewell will not reach wider at, it's only natural that people will stop buying. The effect this could have is already audiences than your typical film student (or, And when they do, I hope they choose to give becoming clear. Disney puts out less original at least, film student at heart). But these films their attention where it's most needed. • content per year than remakes or off-shoots of carry stories arguably more important than old content. Aside from all of these live-action your typical franchise. They explore different remakes being an obvious cash grab that preys kinds of protagonists: repressed teenage girls, a on the nostalgia of disenfranchised millennials, black man facing gentrification, or a Chinese­ it's simply lazy work. Instead of using a state­ American woman dealing with cultural of-the-art animation and design team to create differences surrounding grief. Marvel films are something fresh and new for children, the emotionally resonant, but they aren't allowed Disney corporation has chosen the guaranteed to be this specific. The less money these films money route; the route that keeps their brand make, the less likely it is that films like them fully intact without needing to put much will be made in the future. thought into what makes them powerful in the first place. This is the true loss associated with the Disneyfication of popular film. The more If this ethic were to sneak its way into all money something must make to cover the costs of the other studios that Disney owns, we're of a Disney-branded film, the more generic it looking at something of a creativity deadlock. must be. Stories that don't apply to the majority Movies can be made, but only if they're get lost in the shuffle of heroic action and guaranteed to make money. And the only way comfortable Disney properties. Disney and to guarantee money is to play it safe. Marvel have attempted to make their films more diverse, casting a Black actress as the But do we want filmmakers to play it safe? next Little Mermaid and hinting at making Does every film granted a big budget have to Tessa Thompson's Valkyrie character queer,

THE PACTFTC SE:\TT:\EL 17 The F Word This Month The Allgo app and Fat Fancy thrift store make sure fat people feel welcome by Hanna Anderson mustrations by Josh Gates

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You know the F word. big city? The answer is plenty. Portland is filled to It sounds obvious-yet, for overweight Amer­ One of the worst things in polite society. Say it, the brim with events, communities, and businesses icans, it isn't a guarantee. What if the armrests are and watch the dirty stares accrue. It's one of the built for the chubby, the overweight, and the plus­ too close together? What if the seat is bolted down easiest insults there are, guaranteed to offend sized. There are enough that they can't all be fit too close to the table? What if they only feign sta­ despite becoming so constantly used in our into one article. But, I'm gonna write about them bility long enough for you to have too hard of a vocabulary. It's big. It's bad. It's fat. all anyways. Welcome to 7he F Word this Month. laughing fit that destroys the flimsy cafeteria seat The line between who's fat and who isn't is and embarrasses you in front of all your friends? arbitrary at best, and yet, it's a line that you don't Chairs Chairs are terrifying. want to cross-and a line I've been living over It is the responsibility of a chair to hold whoever is The majority of Americans are either overweight for most of my life. You can never be sure, but at sitting on it. Presumably without any pain. or obese, and yet, the world continues to shrink. 300 pounds, I think it's safe to say I'm more than a little big boned. Lucky for me and the rest of this big community, we're living in a body positive revolution. Overbearing society's weight limit has always been an easy way to assign shame, regardless of one's circumstances. D espite today's body positive revolution, people still do this-a lot of people still do this. It's been ingrained in our heads that we can grow up to be anything we want to be, just as long as we're not fat. But, times are changing, fat shaming can be called out, and fat bodies are something to celebrate as opposed to hide. It's going to take a lot longer to undo a lot more years of fat shaming and body shaming throughout history, but every small step counts. So now that we've crossed the line into fat and we're not hiding, where do we go? What's a small town fattie like myself supposed to do in the great

18 OPT\TTO\"" Airline seats are shrinking as fast as they can build planes. Only so many clothing brands are willing "Portland is a liberal to offer plus-sized clothing-and even those that do often seize the opportunity to price them high­ city which champions er or hide them online. It's not the businesses, prioritizing their profits, personal freedom that are typically presumed to be the problem; rather, it is the fat person, especially those with and self expression, the audacity to ask to be accommodated. Now, however, th e fat community isn't relegated and naturally offers to a couple businesses bothering to offer their hospitality table scraps. Hell no, there are options experiences that were now: Plenty of which can be found right here in Portland. created specifically

We're highlighting two things today: by and for the fat TheAllgo app and Fat Fancy thrift store. . ,, Allgo is Yelp for fat people. Gone are the days of community. blindly entering a new business without having thoroughly dissected its reviews and photos online beforehand. Everything you could ever want to know about a place is in the palm of your hands. H owever, rather than focusing on whether the steak was subpar or the staff are sour, Allgo's reviews instead rate businesses on their accessibility, especially for the long neglected plus-sized market. A restaurant could have the finest filet mignon in the world-but if the fat customer couldn't even fit in their seats, well, what's the point in them going? Their website's URL asks the unassuming question, "Can we all go?"Yet, looking just a little further into their website reveals their pride in catering for the plus-sized. Enter Fat Fancy. store, everything was unique. While the staple "AllGo is a review app where plus-size people While most clothing stores offer plus-sizes as an chubby mall brands were present, there were some rate the comfort and accessibility of public afterthought, and thrift stores will stock plus sizes gems from online-exclusive brands as well. It's spaces so others can know what to expect. We as they get them, Fat Fancy is a thrift store stuffed a shop has unflinching pride in fat bodies. It's help people of size go out more, with less anxiety," with nothing but. Gone are the days of ignoring dropped a numerical sizing routine altogether according to the company's website. "Our reviews most of the store because the accessories are the in favor of words like "Plush" for sizes 12/14 to are straight from the source: Fat people who've only things that will fit-although they've got a "Divine" for 22/24. been there before and want to share what it was pretty cute accessory section too. Standard plus-sized shopping feels like like." Simply by using the term "Fat" often, what "Fat Fancy is a body positive, anti­ following a strict set of rules, using drab clothes was once a petty insult has been reclaimed as a discrimination space and fat community hub," to try and hide the fat. Fat Fancy is a thrift shop source of pride. describes co-owner Bee. "Shopping at Fat Fancy selling clothes to embrace it. The review pages have much of the same is like hanging out with your best friends while Portland is a liberal city which champions information reviews on Yelp do: Business hours, doing a fashion show. Everyone, from staff to personal freedom and self expression, and their phone number, website, etc. However, other shoppers, will lift you up and tell you how naturally offers experiences that were created each business's page also includes insight about cute you are!" specifically by and for the fat community. For all accommodations like armless chairs and movable In order to illustrate the shopping experience the city's trails and nature spots, Fat Girls Hiking tables-for those who need them, those details at Fat Fancy, you should understand the typical leads stress free hikes without the fear of shame or can mean the world. It's crazy to think about how plus-sized shopping experience first. It's rarely ridicule for one's size. Body Home is a dance class grateful I am just to be able to sit down for a meal amazing. In a typical trip to the mall, most of the that is open for all, but made for the overweight. without a table jabbing me in the midsection the shops get passed by unless you're pulled inside by The Chunky Dunk is a pool party where fat entire time. a skinnier friend that wants their own chance to bodies can hang out sans nasty stares and glares. The app is free to use and currently being tested spend all their money-their skinnier clothes are The fat community is, fittingly, growing. And I'm in the Portland area. Allgo plans on expanding to always cheaper. Eventually, there are a couple of gonna try to write about more of it. more cities over the course of2019. plus-size stores, and they're great! But, even in For how stressful our modern life has become, Allgo is a great way to check if a business will these stores, the sizes in abundance are 0 and lx it is great to see just a couple things become a be accommodating for fat people. But what about sizes-a size 12-16 range. little less so in a big way. So ha!-take that, chairs. • a business that was made for fat people? At Fat Fancy the opposite is true. Being a thrift

THE PACTFTC SE\TTI\TEL 19 FriendSllip afltl Trauma ,.~U el a Bold Thriller in BRA'D •~ by Maggie Post

Rule Number One: Everyone mustplay. Aided by flashbacks of the girls' childhood, ~ Rule Number Two: No outsiders allowed. we not only learn why Daphne is stuck in a Rule Number Three: Nobody Leaves. never-ending loop of her favorite childhood game, but the events that drive the two other Illustration by Margo Craig These three ominous statements set the tone tortured girls to partake in the game. While I for Mitzi Peirone's debut film Braid, a recently won't spoil the ending, I will say that it's one of released thriller that follows the twisted, the most shocking, surprising twists I've seen · interwoven tale of three childhood best friends. in a thriller in many years; it's a testament to When two of the girls, Tilda and Petula, run Peirone's prowess as a fresh, talented filmmaker into trouble with the law, they make a drastic breaking her way into the cinematic world. I decision to head to the decrepit mansion that was awestruck by the techniques she used that their third counterpart, Daphne (who many felt as though they were chosen by the likes will recognize as Janine, from the popular Hulu of experienced, well-known filmmakers. From show 1be Handmaid's Tale) resides in. What dreamy color schemes during flashbacks of seems a simple premise at first-get into the bygone carefree days, to succinct, off-putting house and steal D aphne's fortune-quickly dialogue that made goosebumps erupt on my becomes foreboding as the action unfolds. skin, there's no convention that's ignored in the quest to drive home every aspect of this What becomes apparent from the second us distorted story. I've said it before to friends, and viewers step inside the house, is that D aphne I'll say it again here: nobody does thrillers and is not normal. Stuck in a fantasy game that the horror films quite like women, and I'm happy girls played when they were young, she believes to say that this is yet another movie that makes that everything that occurs around her is still me proud of the strides that marginalized a part of that game, with the rules mentioned groups are making within the industry. at the beginning of the article existing as the backbone to her imaginary world. And thus, Braid is not only an introspective look into the tense dynamics are revealed. Daphne takes trauma, but an analysis of the strong bonds on the role of"Mother,"with Tilda stepping formed between girls in childhood. Its apt title into the role of petulant "D aughter," and Petula describes the interconnected relationship of the as the "D octor. "Tilda and Petula work to play girls and lends an idea to the twisted story that along just long enough to find Daphne's hidden lurks just beyond the film's exposition. Tense, fortune. What follows is a rapid back-and-forth calculated, and packing numerous punches, thriller that escalates in absurdity and tension Braid is a thriller that I can't recommend with every passing moment. There's a particular enough for those interested in female-centric moment where Tilda discovers the punishment films, perverse characters, and stories that break for breaking "Mother's" rules that I don't think the creative mold. • I'll be able to forget as long as I live.

20 ARTS A:\TD CUU URE (_(~~~..>'

Illustration by Cleophas Chambliss

And We Back! Chance the Rapper finally returns with a unique debut album by Sydney McBee

It's the big day! The album is out, and it's piece of art in its own way. While Acid Rap be bigger than Diddy Kong I I need stock quite literally entitled 7he Big Day. Chance was about, well, acid, Coloring Book heavily and it gotta be Pippi Long."The second song the Rapper is back in the game with his spoke of our heavenly father. The Big Day's "D o You Remember" was correctly timed to debut studio album, following up the recent title suggests weddings, and no big surprise come out at the beginning of the summer and re-release of his 2013 breakthrough mixtape there, the album is about Chance's new wife. features Ben Gibbard of D eath Cab for Cutie Acid Rap onto all streaming platforms. Amidst While this album feels a little cuter and (or The Postal Service as I like to say, because the old music resurfacing, The Big Day is a cheesy at times, I think there are a few tracks everyone knows The Postal Service is better). whopping twenty-two track album with an that veer off of this path strongly. The track I like the first half of the album a lot better hour and seventeen minutes of content. "Roo" has some heavy lyrics, and the track than the second. Yes, he does talk about As a blanket statement, I love the album. I "H ot Shower" is good old fashion club music his wife and kid a lot, but who wouldn't if think it's an interesting mix between Acid Rap with a sick beat. they're happy? Bottom line, this album isn't a and his previous full-length project Coloring The album's first track, "All Day Long," masterpiece, but it has a couple gems. It's not Book. While I will agree with my avid Chance hit me hard with some references such as hardcore in any way, but I'm glad Chance is fan friend that the new album "is no Coloring "I'm about to book a show at the Dimmsdale happy. The beats are pretty sick too. • Book," I happen to think it succeeds as a Dimmadome" and "But that boy advance gotta

TTTE PACTFTC SE~TTXEL 21 Reviewing Purple Mountains in David Berman's absence WHEN AN ALBUM BECOMES A l=AREWELL by Shane lohnson Illustrations by Margo Craig

I was excited to write about Purple Mountains meaning of the world lies outside the world"), output. The topics on Purple Mountains are for this issue of the magazine. Released July potentially absurd images could carry serious a bit more obviously autobiographical: that 12th, the album Purple Mountains and the emotional weight (" I believe the stars are the persistent, overwhelming depression; the accompanying band of the same name was headlights of angels I driving from heaven to slow march towards his separation from his a comeback of sorts for David Berman, who save us I look in the sky I they're driving from wife of many years; the distinct experience of previously developed a cult following in indie heaven into our eyes"), and simple statements loneliness later in life; the loss of his beloved rock with his band Silver Jews before quitting could feel inexplicably profound ("all my mother; existential disappointment. music in 2009. The album was a triumphant favorite singers couldn't sing"). The music on Purple Mountains is rich and return-one of his best works. I was excited to Purple Mountains's ten songs feature dynamic while leaving the spotlight on Berman. tell the story of an artist starting a new chapter Berman's trademark lyricism and effortless To produce and accompany his songs, Berman in his career and in his life, and perhaps cover rhyming once again out in full force, this recruited Jarvis Taveniere and Jeremy Earle of his Portland concert in September. And then, time with a bit more bluntness than the the band Woods. The country and honky-tonk 27 days after Purple Mountains was released, often abstract poeticism of his Silver Jews twang that was present to varying degrees in David Berman died. much of the Silver Jews discography returns, Berman had long suffered from what but a wider array of instrumentation also keeps he described as "treatment-resistant the project feeling distinct from Berman's depression," and his death was ruled a previous band. "That's Just The Way That I suicide. It was a tragic, unexpected Feel" is a highlight that opens the album in a loss that was amplified by his rollicking fashion. It signals Berman and recent return to music. He was set his wit are back in full force ("When I to begin touring just days after try to drown my thoughts in gin I I find his death. It hit me harder than my worst ideas know how to swim"), most celebrity deaths. Berman even as the song plays like an itemized felt so human and relatable, list of various miseries Berman has and yet was so gifted. The encountered since he last sang for us public mourning from a a decade prior. It builds to a clever wide, eclectic set of voices chorus that feels representative of the in the music industry conflict at the heart of the project. spoke to the singularness "Well, a setback can be a setup I for a of his music and its ability comeback if you don't let up I But this to personally connect with so kind of hurtin' won't heal I And the end many. of all wanting I is all I've been wanting I Berman was one of the and that's just the way that I feel," he sings. great lyricists of our time, The inherent hope of Berman's comeback to •, and had an authorial voice music is at odds with the exhausting despair unlike any other. Poetic he has been battling for years. turns of phrase ("in 27 years "Margaritas at the Mall" is a booming, I've drunk 50,000 beers I and horn-laden jam that takes a step back from they just wash against me like the autobiographical to existentially consider the sea into a pier") feel at the state of the world: "H ow long can a world home alongside funny, peculiar go on with no new word from God?" lines ("when the governor's heart fails Elsewhere, Berman lets the album I the state bird falls from its branch") linger on his personal sources of in Berman's discography. But his sadness in plainspoken directness. words are forever tied to his deep, "I Loved Being My Mother's droll, unique singing voice. In his Son" is a heart-on-the-sleeve hands, existential meanderings could ode to Berman's late mother sound like mere observations ("the with two beautiful,

22 ARTS Ai"\'" D CULTURE to make this album specifically because he was able to persevere for many years through the bleakness that the album describes. This is not to discount the severity of Berman's struggle, only to emphasize that recontextualizing a reading of the album in the context of his death gives more agency to the one unfortunate day that his clinical depression won out than his own thoughtful songwriting process. One of Purple Mountains's great accomplishments is the way it documents

But Berman didn't write these songs in the moments before we lost him. If anything. the very existence of the album is a triumph over the hopelessness that depression can cause.

highly relatable depictions of hopelessness and the daily fight that is living alongside depression with a clarity and cleverness that only Berman could provide. Berman doesn't shy away from it on the record, rather he shares his difficult reality with great generosity and a gentle empathy toward himself. It's a strange form of grief, mourning the loss of an artist like Berman. In a moment, the ongoing, years-long journey of their work and the potential of their future crystalizes into something concrete, unchanging: a legacy. We confront cognitive dissonance over the fact that their body of work is finite and finished forever. Berman has written everything he ever will. Full stop. That sucks. It is made acutely difficult given the circumstances of Purple Mountains's release: a confident return to making music with an album that listeners were just beginning to form a relationship with when we lost him. How do we cope with the feeling of being suddenly left alone with these restrained guitar solos. "Nights That Won't more complicated in the wake of his suicide. songs? Happen" is one of the most solemnly poetic In some ways, listening to it now, it feels like Fortunately, Berman has already done the tracks, a slow-building meditation on death in an album of defeat. It is tempting to read into hard work of finding perspective on the matter which Berman concludes: "This world is like a certain lines as if he knew what was to come. for us. Midway through the album, over warm roadside inn and we're the guests inside I and "The dead know what they're doing when they organ and dreamy horns on the surprisingly death is a black camel that kneels down so we leave this world behind," he sings on the now­ simple and sentimental "Snow is Falling in can ride I When the dying's finally done and bittersweet "Nights That Won't Happen." Manhattan," Berman places a beautiful little the suffering subsides I all the suffering gets But Berman didn't write these songs in the metaphor about the nature of music: "Songs done by the ones we leave behind." moments before we lost him. If anything, the build little rooms in time I and housed within Given the material, many of the songs have very existence of the album is a triumph over the song's design I is a ghost the host has left become harder to listen to since Berman's the hopelessness that depression can cause. behind I to greet and sweep the guest inside death. It's suddenly become difficult to sing Berman was a meticulous writer. He wrote I stoke the fire and sing his lines." Berman is along to the danceable, earworm chorus these songs over numerous years and they're with us through his music-his words and of "All My H appiness Is Gone" now that the result of a triumph over the call of the voice continuing to reverberate through our the songwriter is gone as well. The album's void. "I spent a decade playing chicken with lives, a friendly apparition providing our souls straightforward discussion of hopelessness and oblivion," he sings on the album, describing his some shelter from the storms of this difficult accepting attitude toward dark emotions feels years away from music. Berman was only able world. •

TTTE PACTFTC SE\TT\""EL 23 The tragedy of the brilliant artist who died too young is binds itself to these moments, becoming synonymous an archetype that resonates profoundly in our culture. Be with that very period in your life. For many Elliott Smith it Amy Winehouse, Kurt Cobain,Jimi Hendrix, or one of fans, this means teenagerdom. Elliott would sing with a the countless others, something about this narrative sticks sort of existential angst that is inevitable in adolescence; with us. Whether it's the mourning of lost potential or a yearning to find one's place in the world that the best of the inevitable grief that comes with death, these figures us have felt at some point in our lives. (perhaps for the wrong reasons) often become deified­ I did not find Elliott Smith's music during the height cemented into cultural godhood. On August 2nd and 3rd of my adolescence, instead only discovering him near at St. Johns's bar and music venue The Fi.xin' To, several its conclusion. I was 18 when I first stumbled upon his local acts and musicians, including myself, came together music, and it was my first year living in Portland after to celebrate what would have been the 50th birthday of leaving home. Feelings of anxiety, isolation, and awe­ such an icon-Portland's own Elliott Smith. all feelings that come naturally with moving from your Steven "Elliott" Smith was born in Omaha, Nebraska hometown to a big city-are captured perfectly in his in 1969, though he spent much of his childhood growing music. The fact that much of the time he was singing up in Texas with his mother after his parents divorced. about the very city I was just getting to know was just When he was 14 years old, he moved to Portland, Oregon the icing on the cake. Even just mentioning Portland with his father, where he would start experimenting locations, such as in the song "Alameda," or in "Punch with recording, playing with a handful of bands in and Judy," when he sings about "Driving up and down high school. Smith attended college in Massachusetts, Division Street" helped contextualize these songs, giving where he met Neil Gust, co-founder of the fabled them a depth and real-world authenticity. No longer were Portland indie rock outfit Heatmiser. Together, the they just songs about relatable human problems, but ones band would release 3 albums and 1 EP before splitting set in a real and tangible backdrop that I was becoming up, marking the beginning of Smith's more famous familiar with. solo career. Much of his earlier music from Heatmiser starkly Elliott made music that is deeply contemplative and contrasts his better-known solo releases. While the band's personal in a way that few artists succeed in doing. His last album, Mic City Sons, bears more heavy similarities is the type of music that somehow manages to find a to Smith's solo material, the same cannot be said for the person when one most needs to hear it. He sings as if he's rest of their catalogue. Here, the delicate and whispery singing about your life's specific contents at the moment tone Smith is known for is replaced with something far you first hear him. In this way, it is the type of music that more raw and distorted, very much riding the coattails

24 ARTS AXD CULTURE of the recent grunge movement. Heatmiser songs lend this' or 'I was here when this event happened."' themselves to being covered in this sort of way. Their Many concerts can be epitomized as being a music expressed the same grungy, rambunctious punk celebration of the people on stage. There is a sort of"look rock energy as bands such as Lungfish or Fugazi, or even what I can do" self-indulgence that often comes with early Modest Mouse, but combine this with the sensitive the territory. This was not the case at The Fi.xin' To on and gloomy musings that Smith is so known for. When August 2nd and 3rd. Standing up there on stage, playing the offer came to me to actually join a band covering their these beloved covers, the thought that most immediately music, it was no choice at all. hit me was that, in the most beautiful way possible, I Elliott Smith died in 2003 at the age of 34. While his didn't matter. I could have been in the audience, and any death was officially reported to be a suicide, the official audience member could have been up there instead of autopsy leaves open the possibility of homicide, due to me and the experience would have been similarly questionable and inconclusive evidence. Naturally, this powerful in just the same way. Everyone, musician and has bred a healthy dose of theorizing and speculation audience member alike, was there for the same reason: to in regards to the true nature of his death. However, his celebrate an artist that has deeply affected all of us at a legacy should not be characterized by how he may have would-be significant landmark in Elliott Smith's life that died, but by who he was when he was alive. Smith has he never got to experience. A way of telling ourselves, been gone for 16 years, but his music is still as powerful Portland, the world, perhaps even Elliott himself, and relatable as ever-a feat only accomplished by wherever he might be, that, despite his absence, he is far history's greatest artists. from being forgotten. • In that way, the shows at The Fi.xin' To were a testament to the lasting power of his music, as exhibited by the size and vigor of the crowds present. Brian Everard, a musician featured in such local bands as Stanford Prism Experiment and Pageant, was largely responsible for the whole event taking place, alongside spearheading and playing in the Heatmiser cover band. Everard reflected on the significance of this experience, saying, "What I truly love about Elliott Smith fans is that they speak about his work as an event or an experience. Almost how when you're talking to someone and they say 'I was doing

THE PACTFT EXTTXEL 25 • •

The Pacific Sentinel is a monthly student-run magazine at PSU. We seek to uplift student voices and advocate on behalf of the marginalized. We analyze culture, politics, and daily life to continually take the dialogue further.

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