Law Weekly 2017, 2018, & 2019 ABA Law Student Division Best Newspaper Award-Winner A Look Doubling Down on Debt at the JD/MD Mixer ...... 2 Find Your Next Netflix Binge Watch...... 3 Inside: Challenges for Diversity within Academia...... 3

Wednesday, 19 February 2020 The Newspaper of the School of Law Since 1948 Volume 72, Number 17 Razzle around north grounds Dazzle, Thumbs up to Contested SBA Building Services There for updating the soap and toilet Goes Chief paper dispensers to be more “modern.” While ANG only Justice Elections: uses these for a weekly show- er, the sentiment is nonethe- Shmazzle Candidates State their Positions less appreciated. Still waiting M. Eleanor Schmalzl ’20 for the three-ply though, that Deposed Newspaper Tyrant tuition money has to go some- where useful. February of my 1L year, Jenna Goldman ’18 published Thumbs down her farewell article as she fin- to all three coffee ished her tenure as Editor-in- machines in MyLab Chief of the Law Weekly. Last being down at the same time February, Jansen VanderMeu- on a Monday morning. While len ’19 did the same. At those ANG is a strong supporter of times, I had no idea how it striving for new lows, ANG must have felt to pass along a cannot possibly do so without job that you invested so much fueling ANG’s crippling caf- time, thought, and energy into. feine addiction. But as I write this article, the feeling is all too real. I’m not here to exaggerate Thumbs up to the importance of the paper— Papa John Schantter I know lots of people pick it up for “having” (appar- for the ANGs and the Professor ently not the same as “eating”) Quotes—but I do believe that fourty Papa John’s pizzas in what we do really is something thirty days to criticize the lack special. Every year the Law of quality since his departure. Weekly manages to entice a From Left to Right: Daniel Seidita ‘21 and Katharine Janes ’21, candidates for SBA President. Photo Courtesy of Eleanor Schmalzl ’20. ANG appreciates anything handful of first-year law stu- that involves that profound dents to wander to the depths This year, the Student Bar SBA has allowed me to connect SBA that is more inclusive. I level of pettiness and excessive of Slaughter Hall, normally Association (SBA) is running a students to resources and op- want an SBA that places stu- pizza eating. in search of dinner as their contested election for both the portunities they may not have dent groups and their mis- weary souls trudge through President and Treasurer posi- known existed, particularly to sions at the forefront of the the days of 1L, and somehow tions. Each of the candidates’ the extent that it has promot- student experience. I want an Thumbs down to get them to keep coming back. arguments are featured below, ed an inclusive environment SBA that is adaptive and re- the entire history Liberals, conservatives, softball and voting will be open from at the law school. I hope I can sponsive. I want an SBA that of the NBA All-Star players, SBA representatives, Thursday, February 20 un- continue this work next year is open and transparent. And Game. Changing the rules of students who “only do the pa- til Sunday, February 23. The as President, and I appreciate I want an SBA that is not just the 4th quarter this year to per,” people from all different Law Weekly Facebook page your vote! an office in WB, but rather an crown the winner as the first backgrounds come, eat pizza, and Instagram have more in- organization in which each to score 24 points showed that and consistently put together a formation about the debate, Daniel Seidita student feels like they serve an NBA players actually know paper documenting what life at held on Tuesday, February UVA is a special place. I have important role. I want an SBA how to play defense. ANG’s le- the Law School looks like on a 18. We encourage you to learn loved every moment of my that is a bridge to change. gal defense skills are nowhere weekly basis. 1Ls take hours out more about the debate and the time here as a member of this UVA is a very special place— as close, to the detriment of of their week to write articles, candidates, as well as exercise community. I am running for but unfortunately it doesn’t future clients. and checked-out upperclass- your right to vote for your up- SBA President because I want always feel that way. I am run- men still come back every week coming SBA representatives! my fellow students to know ning because I hope the SBA despite not having class on These statements are pre- that they have an institutional can be a more active force at Thumbs sideways Monday (the night we produce sented unedited so that you advocate—one that will con- enabling members of UVA to Student Affairs the paper) at all. And while may consider the candidates stantly strive to make students Law to express their voices. for the Valentine’s week-to-week it may not seem based on their own work. feel welcome, included, and Indeed, I am running simply Day goodies. ANG greatly ap- like a big deal, over time these capable of thriving while at because UVA isn’t perfect, and preciated the sweets, even weeks have become years, and Candidates for UVA Law. the SBA is a brilliant platform though AND didn’t need more these years of documentation President Our time here is short, and I that has the ability to be a cat- excuses to eat cupcakes alone are something that you just have too often heard murmurs alyst for change. and in sorrow. However, de- can’t create any other way. Af- Katharine Janes of apathy as students begrudg- Humbly your servant in ser- spite the decisive ruling by the ter three years of Mondays, I Hi, UVA Law! My name is ingly accept that they will not vice, Court of Petty Appeals in favor can’t identify a common thread Katharine Janes, and I am have time to affect change be- Daniel V. Seidita of ANG’s love of cookies, there between the group of people running for SBA President. fore they leave Charlottesville. were no actual cookies pro- that edit this paper except that Over the past year, I have loved I want to correct this miscon- Candidates for vided. we all are there, having a good serving as Secretary of SBA. ception. I want to be an SBA Treasurer time, and producing a paper- While some of the highlights of President who is accessible; copy time capsule of UVA Law. my tenure have included orga- one who actively listens to each Chance Maginness Thumbs up to the And that’s a really cool thing. nizing memorable events like member of our community. I As Treasurer, I want to make overthrow of the Law I feel honored to have been the NCAA Tournament game am running for SBA president sure that we’re directing funds Weekly’s old leaders. part of such a special group watches, what I’ve appreciated because students should have towards events that benefit a ANG loves a good coup, now in my three years at this Law most in my position has been confidence that their voice will majority of students—such as and again. All hail EIC ANG! School and I am so thankful helping to facilitate everyday not only be heard, but encour- Fauxfield, Barristers, and SBA to everyone who takes an ac- student activities on a more aged. I envision an SBA that is socials—and doing so in a way Thumbs down to tive role with the Law Weekly. individualized basis. This has, active and open; one in which that keeps costs low for stu- presidential candi- To all the consistent readers, for me, included aiding in the no opinion on any matter goes dents that want to attend. Hav- dates Amy Klobu- thank you for picking up our establishment of new student without note. ing served on SBA for a year, char and Tom Stey- papers—you’re the reason we organizations, coordinating I have loved UVA because of I’ve seen how we allocate our er for being unable to name exist, and it wouldn’t be much communications amongst the people—because every day funds and create our budgets, the Mexican president during fun to publish if people didn’t student representatives, and I walk through the halls and and I want to make sure that an interview. But don’t worry, bother to peruse our pages (yes) sending bi-weekly emails know I have a community that we’re prioritizing our budgets everyone has totally forgotten and get in on all the jokes we about everything happening supports me. I want to ensure in a way that maximizes the about your blown cold call al- CHIEF SHMAZZLE page 2 on Grounds. I deeply appreci- that the SBA is an active part SBA page 2 ready. ate the way that working with of each of our lives. I want an 2 Columns VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Wednesday, 19 February 2020 CHIEF SHMAZZLE paper next. SBA continued from page 1 My charge as I finish my continued from page 1 tenure is the same as the charge sprinkle in throughout every I had the first week of the school money that we have. Further- week. And to the professors who year: No matter what you do at more, as an undergraduate, put up with us quoting (and, this Law School, do something. I served as our student gov- let’s be real, likely sometimes Despite how busy class and ernment’s finance committee misquoting) them on a weekly studying get, you are missing chair, which allocated a $24 basis, thank you for going along out on so much more if you don’t million dollar budget across with the fun and giving us such dive into all that this place has to the university—which gave me good material to work with.1 Fi- offer. Most of my best memories valuable insight into how we nally, thanks to all the editors from this school come from late can cut out unnecessary costs who come every week to SL 279. Monday nights, hours on the while directing funds to pro- From the 1Ls who I was a PA for softball field, and time hanging grams that students enjoy the and encouraged2 to attend, to the out with 1Ls I mentor.5 The Law most. 2Ls and 3Ls who made me feel Weekly is a special organization, so welcome when I was a 1L, to and I (in my biased opinion) Josh Short the new crop of 1Ls who show up think it is one of the best groups I believe that next term’s every week, you all are nothing at this school. But find your fit, SBA has an opportunity to short of incredible. It may not al- whether Law Weekly or other- further the excellent work of ways feel like we’re writing about wise, and lean into it—the paper our predecessors. As an ac- the most hard-hitting topics,3 can’t wait to document all that’s tive member of the law school but every week I think we man- to come. community, I look forward to age to engage people, make bringing the same energy and Top: Chance Maginness,’22, candidate for SBA Treasurer. them laugh,4 and contribute to --- enthusiasm to the SBA Ex- Bottom: Josh Short, ‘21, candidate for SBA Treasurer. making this school more than [email protected] ecutive Board. Having truly just a place to study. I hope oth- enjoyed my first two years at ers get half the joy out of reading UVA, I would relish an oppor- this thing as we do making it ev- tunity to give back to the com- ery week, and I can’t wait to see munity that has given me so where the new board takes the much. 5 And, of course, every 1 We know some of you do class and interaction I ever --- it just to humor us, and we eat had with Michael Collins, but it up. @Professor Doran and that doesn’t fit the theme of [email protected] @Professor Mitchell, please “out of class memories/don’t join your faculty peers! be a gunner” so I am dropping [email protected] it in a footnote. 2 Read: arguably forced. [email protected]

3 See https://www.law- [email protected] weekly.org/features/2020/2/12/ tweedledee-and-tweedledum- high-school-musical from our February 12, 2020 edition.

4 Even if it is just our- selves, see all the titles this year that end with “The re- sults will literally shock you!” Malpractice in the Making: JD/MD Mixer

In the darkness of a cold end mullet.2 The Health Law this particular event. So, I Perhaps the reason that many refused to order them be- February night, law students Association’s Safe Sex Med shall continue on the path law students decided not to cause they did not want to say seeking refuge from the Hall- School Mixer provided a of abstinence. Perhaps they talk to the med students was those two words in sequence. thoroughly strange oppor- should’ve done the banana our bitterness about their Who can blame them? But, Jacob Jones ‘21 tunity for everyone to enjoy demonstration from middle constant presence in the law the tonics themselves were Features Editor slightly discounted beer and school health class. library. Although med stu- quite good, even if they were tonics at the Fitzroy, all in The night proved that, for dents are at least slightly sickeningly sweet. mark tirade the presence of drunk class- the most part, law students better than undergrads, we Truth be told, the turn-out of Valentine’s mates, strangers, and a pile avoid talking to non-law like to practice continual and that night was impressive: be- Day remind- of condoms that was awk- students, even at an event unabating exclusion here on cause of the combined effects ers found some wardly sitting at the end of branded as a “mixer,” and North Grounds. of the evening’s basketball (but not much) in the warm the bar. revealed that we’re not yet My favorite part of the game and the many couples glow of a packed downtown The description for this scared enough of coronavirus night was the pile of free Ubering to their dates (Val- bar. Around 10 p.m., the event was “[b]ecause half to make any attempt to avoid smartie necklaces next to the entine’s Day is always better lonely heartthrobs of UVA’s of y’all went to abstinence- ridiculously crowded spaces. condoms (no one else was with a healthy helping of li- most prestigious graduate only boarding schools in It was very packed. I thought brave enough to go near the quor), some attendees of the schools1 trickled like an in- Connecticut.”3 This is prob- about asking a med student condoms, at least not while Safe Sex Mixer reported see- travenous drip into the Fitz- ably fair, but I didn’t get about the transmission of I was watching). Eating a ing Lyft and Uber prices rise roy, a bar of classy standards. a whole lot of learning at diseases in such a cramped smartie necklace is one of the to $50 for a simple ride out On a Feb Club weekend fea- room, but that would have least sexy things anyone can from North Grounds to the turing two big events, it was 2 The Libel event on Sat- required (1) standing up from do, since it requires crunch- Downtown Mall. That price the “business in the front” urday night being the party in my cozy table in the corner ing into multiple smarties was unacceptable. Many Law part of the Law School week- the back. and (2) talking to someone at once to get them off the School adventurers decided who was not a law student. string, then sucking the rem- to appoint a designated driv- 3 Is there another kind of Astute readers of my Law nants off the soggy elastic. er to chauffeur them to the 1 Sorry Darden, sort of. boarding school? Weekly articles4 will remem- This might explain why none event and recognized the vir- ber that the last time I wrote of the med students seemed tue of not needing to pay for about law students and med interesting in mixing with an Uber and instead relying students mixing, harsh words me. As an adult, you really on someone else. Others were were traded, with me calling start viewing candy neck- even cooler and took the bus. a med student Dr. Pepper laces differently: instead of In the end, I think going to a and him calling me Suits.5 a fun new way to eat candy, bar is an appropriate event it makes you feel like you’re for singles to go to on Valen- 4 Shoutout to my mom. This both a child (in a bad way) tine’s. As a doctor might say, is also a great time to mention and like you’re wearing one you can treat outside boo- our website, www.lawweekly. of those necklaces that peo- boos with alcohol, so maybe org, which is a great place for ple who think they look like inside boo-boos can benefit you to keep up with the pa- surfers wear. from alcohol as well. per after you graduate. Again, Try as we might to escape that’s www.lawweekly.org. Or Valentine’s Day, law students --- you can live in the 21st cen- couldn’t fully get away from [email protected] tury and just Google “uva law awkward reminders of their weekly”. single-ness. For example, the Fitzroy rebranded their sig- 5 Suits isn’t even hurtful, nature tonic drinks as “love Pictured: Unsoggy, unchewed, pre-remnant Smartie necklace. Photo Courtesy pinterest.com. have you seen Meghan Markle? tonics.” Some law students Wednesday, 19 February 2020 VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Features 3 To All the Boys: P.S. I Still Love You Well, I had just applied a face- piano piece.2 The sound guys Ambrose McClaren. John Am- gling in the beginning stages of needed a hug after it. mask and turned on my electric were probably annoyed, but the brose appears to have felt the a romance. We meet Stormy, a If you can make it through blanket when new Editor-in- viewers were probably smitten same way during Model UN in resident of the retirement home those moments, the wild ride at Lena Welch ‘20 with John Ambrose. sixth grade. Can Lara Jean navi- and former showgirl of the sky. the end is even more satisfying. Teen Romance Editor Although I doubt you’re read- gate the challenges of being a And we get to experience Val- There’s lacrosse, there’s heart- ing this if you haven’t seen TAT- girlfriend for the first time while entine’s Day at Adler. Which break, there’s friendship brace- Chief Christina BILB, let me quickly get you reconnecting with John Am- seems intense.4 I didn’t notice lets, there’s a makeover, there’s “Big Tuna” Luk up to speed. The story, which brose as they volunteer at the anything remotely resembling snow. What else do you really sent me a text. is based on a 2014 novel of the retirement home? After watch- this Friday at UVA Law, which need in a film? Plus, there are “The Law Week- same name by Jenny Han, cen- ing this movie, I’d have to say is, for all intents and purposes, two kisses exactly two minutes ly needs a P.S. I ters on Lara Jean Covey. She is no. She did not do a good job. a high school. apart to conclude the movie, so Still Love You (PSISLY) review. a voracious reader of romance The beginning is cloying. Unfortunately, we also expe- you know they were really inter- Stat!” Don’t you worry, readers, novels and has never had a boy- Too sweet. It leaves you crav- rienced a few really awkward ested in giving the people what I have been training all of my friend. She has, however, writ- ing conflict. Then, it delivers the moments in this movie. While they want. life for this. What are my quali- ten five love letters. After older conflict. It delivers the conflict the Lara Jean sad lip-syncing All in all, I’m not angry this fications? I’ve already watched sister Margot breaks up with her hard for about an hour. With is an unmistakable low point, movie exists, which I think is the PSISLY three times, including boyfriend Josh and goes to col- twenty-five minutes to go, you the awkwardness of the conver- real measurement for sequels. during a 7 a.m. viewing party I lege, younger sister Kitty sends really don’t know what’s going sation in Peter’s car and at the PSISLY had to follow a surprise threw Wednesday, and I’ve seen the letters in the hope of find- to happen to Lara Jean, Peter treehouse reunion also took me hit. It also had to once again To All the Boys I’ve Loved Be- ing LJ a boyfriend. Enter Peter Kavinsky, and John Ambrose. It out of the movie a bit. In Peter’s handle a protagonist whose fore (TATBILB) approximately Kavinsky. Peter is one of the re- doesn’t seem possible to reach a car, it seems like they were go- main characteristic is that she thirty times. I’ve also seen every cipients of Lara Jean’s letters… resolution, but, boy, does it give ing for #ConsentContent, which overthinks things, make a guy Noah Centineo Netflix movie as is Josh. Drama! Peter and LJ you exactly what you want. Part I really support (and I hope this who viewers believe to be per- and every Jordan Fisher live decide to fake date to convince of the problem with the movie is hashtag takes off because ap- fect seem less, and set up anoth- TV musical, and I had a real-life Josh that Lara Jean doesn’t still that it knows exactly what you parently no one else has thought er love triangle without copy- crush on Ross Butler when he like him and to make Peter’s ex want and refuses to give it until of it before, and it’s genius), but ing the previous one, all while was in high school because he Gen jealous. Well, it’s a romance the very end. It’s actually quite it beats around the bush too leaving us liking both boys. It’s was friends with my sister and movie for teens, so it’s not much upsetting for those of us invest- much to be an effective learn- hard to replicate the magic of a would sometimes come over to of a spoiler to say that Lara Jean ed in the love story. ing moment. Although the tree- movie like TATBILB, and while go swimming in our pool. So, and Peter fall in love for real—as While the second movie does house scene seemed somewhat PSISLY doesn’t quite get there, it’s Lena Welch, reporting for did the viewers (looking at you, not quite capture the irresist- realistic in how uncomfortable it is a pleasant addition to what duty! Noah). ible qualities of the first (and I that situation would be, I also we all hope will be a trilogy. It Let’s begin with Jordan Fish- Now that we’ve gotten that mean irresistible—I watched doesn’t stand up to re-watches er because the biggest tragedy of out of the way, PSISLY. The that darn movie four times in 4 Lara Jean bakes a turn- as well as the first, but PSISLY the whole film is that my boy is story picks up with Lara Jean the first day I saw it),3 it still has over for Peter, which I support is definitely worth checking out. behind a piano for 2:47, and he preparing for her first date. The some really high points. Peter as a move. But I’m supposed Also, if you haven’t yet watched didn’t sing! Y’all, I know a ver- new couple shares in a wonder- looks awesome in the pullover to believe Lara Jean, who in TATBILB, please do yourself sion exists where he’s singing. ful night, full of puppy love. But, for his first date and the final TATBILB didn’t know to make a a favor. And do me a favor by Release the Snyder cut! He has it turns out another one of LJ’s scene, possibly the biggest high tray bake for Kitty’s bake sale inviting me over to watch with the voice of an angel.1 Also, word letters was delivered—to John point for me personally. John and got flour all over her face, you. Thx. on the street (a.k.a. BuzzFeed) Corbett is super charming again is a baker now? I don’t think is that he improvised this whole 2 https://www.buzzfeed. as Dr. Covey, who is also strug- so. I’m a baker, and I almost --- com/noradominick/to-all- never get flour on my face. On [email protected] 1 https://www.youtube. the-boys-2-jordan-fisher- 3 See @LenaWelch on Twit- my clothes, sure! But my face? com/watch?v=KsRi-Aj9fQs. improv-piano-moment ter for supporting evidence. Almost never. Diversity in the Academy: BLSA Hosts Professor Panel On Wednesday, February tioning into the profession. Dean had encouraged him to why diverse points of view are Professor Lovelace’s senti- 12, the Black Law Students Professor Lovelace spoke pursue a career in academia, important in their areas and ments when he shared how Association (BLSA) hosted about his non-traditional path but initially, Professor John- in legal scholarship generally. the transactional side also Amy Pan ‘22 into the legal academy. Both son wasn’t interested—he Professor Lovelace began by lacks diversity. When Profes- Lifestyle Editor of his parents were involved wanted to “make a lot of mon- sharing how the field of legal sor Johnson started teaching in civil rights activism, and ey” and set his sights on be- history lacks diversity for a at the Law School in 1984, he “The Impor- he initially planned to pur- coming a partner at a law firm. number of reasons. First, the was the only African Ameri- tance of Diver- sue a public service career. After spending two years at ability to obtain a PhD is criti- can professor; Professor sity in the Acad- Nonetheless, as many of his Latham & Watkins, Professor cal for most legal historians, Mildred Robinson came to emy” as part peers were applying to major Johnson eventually accept- but the extra years of school- visit the following year and of its annual Black History law firms, Professor Lovelace ed a position to teach at the ing and forsaking an income joined shortly after, but they Month programming. The followed suit and went on to University of Minnesota Law is a major economic burden. were the only two for over a panel was moderated by Eli work in private practice dur- School, originally planning to Mentorship is also an issue decade. Professor Johnson Jones ’21, BLSA’s Social Ac- ing his first and second sum- stay for just one year before within the profession. Profes- has since recruited several tion Chair, and featured Pro- mers. Though the experience returning to Latham. But he sor Lovelace explained that for more—including Professor fessors Alex Johnson and as a positive one, Professor found it impossible to go back a student to become an aca- Kim Forde-Mazrui—but the Timothy Lovelace ’06, who Lovelace still felt a pull to- to being a junior associate1 af- demic, typically, another pro- number at UVA Law is still spoke on their experiences wards his passion for social ter experiencing the freedom fessor has to take initiative, low, especially for a top law as professors of color in legal justice. That’s not to say that and autonomy of working as identify talent, and personally school. Professor Johnson ex- academia. Professor Johnson, working at the firm was with- a professor. At the time, there encourage that student to pur- plained how barriers to entry who joined the Law School out its perks—while Professor were only a handful of black sue teaching. Moreover, for a are relatively high, reiterat- faculty in 1984, teaches Prop- Lovelace would often stay late legal scholars teaching around PhD, a young scholar needs an ing Professor Lovelace’s point erty, Modern Real Estate, on the job, he would use this the country, but Professor advisor, and as person of color on the difficulty of obtaining Contracts, and Trusts and Es- time to print law review arti- Johnson loved it. Compared or as a woman, it can be dif- a PhD. Unlike in the past, a tates. Professor Lovelace, who cles on race, law, and history, to private practice, “being ficult to find someone to trust. great majority of entering law is visiting this year from the which he would read for plea- a professor was much more As for why diversity is impor- professors hold both a JD and University of Indiana School sure. This cemented his inter- interesting and challenging, tant in the field of civil rights, a PhD, making a doctorate de- of Law, teaches Critical Race est in academia, and, at the and the lifestyle was better.” Professor Lovelace explained gree all but a requirement for Theory and has previously end of the summer, Professor Professor Johnson admit- the major methodological legal scholarship. served as the director of UVA’s Lovelace made the choice to ted that most of his class at changes that have taken shape Professor Johnson quipped Center for the Study of Race turn down his firm offer and Latham is now retired—and in recent years. Instead of the that he loves just about ev- and Law. The event spanned enroll in UVA’s PhD program “filthy rich”—but he wouldn’t traditional top-down perspec- erything except grading ex- a wide range of topics, includ- for history. Professor Lovelace change his academic career tive, many scholars are now ams. But in all seriousness, ing each professor’s academic remembers how many of his for the world. “Teaching really acknowledging that consti- Professor Johnson enjoys the background and path to schol- friends thought he was crazy has been a great profession tutional change comes from challenge of teaching, of see- arship, the impact of diver- for giving up a firm salary in for me,” he said, “and I have the bottom up. Everyday peo- ing the lightbulb go off in stu- sity on various fields of legal favor of remaining a grad stu- never regretted it, ever.” ple—who never went to law dents’ heads after a difficult study, and advice for diverse dent, but he knew he made the Each professor was then school—are helping create a concept like the Rule of Per- students who hope to pursue a right choice. asked about the diversity in new context for legal, social, petuities.2 He described teach- career in legal academia. Like Professor Lovelace, their respective fields—and and political change. Without ing as a far more interesting The panel opened by ask- Professor Johnson’s route to a diverse set of viewpoints, the ing Professors Johnson and the legal academy was also a 1 His exact words were field would not have experi- 2 I have no idea what that Lovelace about their respec- non-linear one. When Profes- actually “dumbass associate,” enced this sort of major meth- means, but it sounds hard. tive routes into legal academia sor Johnson graduated from but the idea is probably one odological reform. DIVERSITY page 5 and their reasons for transi- UCLA Law School in 1978, his and the same. Professor Johnson echoed 4 Colophon VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Wednesday, 19 February 2020 LAW WEEKLY FEATURE: Court of Petty Appeals The Court of Petty Appeals is the highest appellate jurisdiction court at UVA Law. The Court has the power to review any and all decisions, conflicts, and disputes that arise involving, either directly, indirectly, or tangentially, the Law School or its students. The Court comprises four associate justices and one Chief Justice. Opinions shall be released periodically and only in the official court reporter: the Virginia Law Weekly. Please email a brief summary of any and all con- flicts to [email protected]

Honor Code Commit- the Houston Astros, one can ed mainly by luck and hap- reason the Court of Petty of the free food table will tee v. Fried Chicken take things a little too far. penstance, a 3L has no duty Appeals granted certiorari be obliterated, and various Thieves On the night of February to preserve food for anyone and this case is before us to- clubs and groups will feel in- 72 U.Va. 655 (2020) 4, two students (names are else after him as long as it day. The prosecution argues clined to take the extra food withheld out of concern for is possessed and consumed that the two students who home themselves, rather Justice Wunderli, sitting their safety) walked away in good faith. Later, in a hijacked the Michie Tavern than leave it out for the vo- by designation, delivered with an entire tray of Michie split opinion in Honor Code chicken and took it home, racious vultures of hungry the opinion of the Court, Tavern fried chicken at ap- Committee v Opportunistic thereby depriving other law law students who throng the in which Schmid, , Tonseth, proximately 6:15 p.m. from 1L, 70 U.Va. 124 (2017), this students of the enjoyment free food table at the first Querner, Birch, and McDer- the free food table. The tray Court upheld the right of a and benefits of the free food sight, smell, or sound of sus- mott, JJ. join. VanderMeu- was full, with some estimates student to take home a gal- table, blatantly disregarded tenance. The free food table len, J.(Ret.), filed a dissent- from eyewitnesses putting lon jug of milk and half a box the third of the Honor Code’s must live on, and the basic ing opinion which Luk, CJ., the total amount in con- of cookies at 9:45 p.m. that three basic tenets: Do not rights of access to the free joined. troversy between five and had been sitting there for steal. We agree. Although food table must be protect- ten pounds. The students over an hour, holding that there is no limit imposed by ed. Justice Wunderli delivered walked away triumphant and the student, having seen the this Court on how much one The defense, citing Eight the opinion of the Court. laughing, like two kids who cookies and milk and know- can consume from the free Cartons, argues that once knew they took a little too ing how long it was sitting food table in the moment, the free food has been left Did the two students who on the table, it is abandoned stole an entire tray of Michie property and anyone who Tavern fried chicken from epriving other law students of wants to can lay claim to the free food table violate all or part of what remains UVA Law’s esteemed Honor an entire tray of Michie Tavern based on her own volition Code? Or is this just good “D and moral conscience. The ol’ fashioned free food table fried chicken goes beyond self-serving defense argues that previous shenanigans? cases pertaining to the free The Honor Code is one of gamesmanship of the free food table and food table provide a prec- the most highly touted vir- edent for this, and although tues of UVA. Never mind into the territory of a high crime and Honor taking the fried chicken may the foreboding warning not be morally sound or the about thieves and hiding Code infraction.” - Justice Wunderli right thing to do, it is well your belongings displayed so within the bounds set by this prominently upon entering much Halloween candy from there, gained a rightful claim there are certain undeniable Court and the basic assump- the library. This is a school the blind old lady across the to the items through adverse restraints on what one can tions of free food. where people are expected street. Trying to avoid exces- possession. Free food is and cannot do with free food We, however, draw a firm to be honest, and people fre- sive onlookers, the giddy law aplenty at the Law School for on the free food table. And distinction between aban- quently post on GroupMe students snuck out the back those who seek it, and previ- while there are certain lim- doned property and proper- about finding a lost textbook doors by Caplin Auditorium. ous decisions have reflected ited circumstances in which ty intended for the use of the or cash on Grounds, which Ari Anderson ’21 tried brief- the notion that an individu- taking items not intended public as a whole, as is the is often followed by a smat- ly to pursue them, but it was al, by his own industry, has for immediate consumption case here. Although one can tering of likes and praise. in vain, and the chicken was a protected right to obtain as is permissible, given that the enter Costco and try as many While we lambast other never seen again. much or as little as he sees act in question took place different samples as she de- T14 schools for excessive The rules surrounding the fit without the interference at peak dinner hours, and sires without the slightest gunnery and their getting- free food table have been of onerous restrictions. (See, Michie Tavern fried chicken intention to purchase the ahead-at-all-costs mentality, briefly touched on by this e.g. Diversity Organizations is a highly sought-after com- food items, it is a different here at UVA Law we are dif- Court, although a firm line v. That White Guy, 64 U.Va. modity, these two students matter entirely to take the ferent. We help each other, has yet to be drawn both out 404 (2016), holding that must be held accountable for entire sample tray and leave look out for each other, and of respect for the common one can obtain free food at their grievous act. If acts like the store. And while one can wish success upon our peers. sense of UVA Law students any public event as long as this continue to go unpun- There is one arena, however, and deference to the legisla- she stays for the majority ished, the whole institution COPA page 5 in which a certain amount of ture. In Hungry 1L v. Hun- of the meeting, regardless gamesmanship has been al- gry 3L, 68 U.Va. 220 (2013), of whether her sole inten- lowed to go on mostly unop- this Court decided in favor of tion is to eat a free lunch, or Faculty Quotes posed: The Law School free the 3L who took the last three whether she is a member of food table. Much as in base- pieces of Mellow Mushroom the club or organization). J. Monahan: “Bail reform Federalist Society, but I can’t ball, where a certain amount pizza, holding that (1) it is These facts before us, is lit! What does lit mean?” compete with Chick-Fil-A. Go of sign-stealing and tomfool- better that one student be however, have taken ba- get your Chick-fil-A and then ery can be shrugged aside filled than two students be sic free food principles and T. Nachbar: “Everyone is bring it to class.” and even laughed at, there only partially full, and (2) turned them into something in favor of the Bill of Rights, its comes a point when, like because free food is regulat- monstrous, and it is for this like a middle class tax cut.” K. Ferzan: “If I mention Civ Pro again this semester P. Mahoney: “Debt is like you have my permission to hit alcohol. Some people are able me.” to use it responsibly, others get Virginia Law Weekly a taste and can’t get enough.” J. Harrison: “And some- one else who occasionally COLOPHON M. Collins: “Somebody falls down on the job is the Christina Luk ’21 please tell the Federalist So- Supreme Court of the United Editor-in-Chief ciety to stop holding all their States.” events from 1-2 on Thurs- Kathryn Querner ‘22 days. I can compete with the Executive Editor Michael Schmid ‘21 Phil Tonseth ‘22 Jacob Jones ‘21 Managing Editor Production Editor Features Editor

Samuel Pickett ‘21 Will Palmer ‘21 Drew Calamaro ‘21 Columns Editor Special Projects Editor Satire Editor Kolleen Gladden ‘21 Raphael Cho ’21 Grace Tang ‘21 Photographer Cartoonist-in-Chief Foreign Correspondent Ben Stievater ‘22 Leah Deskins ‘21 Donna-Faye Imadi ‘22 Events Editor Professor Liaison Editor Current Events Editor Nate Wunderli ’22 Bill Re ’21 Amy Pan ‘22 Sports Editor Historian Lifestyle Editor Stanley Birch ’22 Marlyse Vieira ’22 Will McDermott ’22 News Editor New Media Editor Development Editor

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Wednesday, 19 February 2020 VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Hot Bench 5 “You have to be a self-starter,” spite that, Professor John- COPA pilfery, as well as a potential DIVERSITY he reminded the audience. “Is son described academia—es- continued from page 4 Honor Code infraction to be this something that you feel pecially at UVA Law—as one of decided in front of a tribunal continued from page 3 called to do? Because there the most welcoming and con- of hungover undergrads. The are going to be long nights structive workplaces he has enter Dean Davies’s snack rights of the many will not be challenge than practice—in- and early mornings when ever experienced. Professor room frequently to satisfy infringed upon by the unre- stead of specializing in one you’re by yourself with a stack Johnson pointed to Professor one’s candy and Goldfish strained impulses of the few. thing and doing it over and of books, just trying to get an Lovelace as an example; Pro- cravings, one cannot take over, professors can use their answer to a particular ques- fessor Lovelace gave a speech the entire bowl of Goldfish imagination in their writing tion. The only thing that will in November that inspired or candy and bring it to VanderMeulen, J.(Ret.) and teaching. Professor John- carry you through those times Professor Johnson to start an wherever one pleases. There dissenting, in which Chief son highlighted the concept of is that passion, that calling.” article about Shelly v. Kramer are lines to be drawn, and Justice Luk joins. academic freedom and staying In contrast, Professor John- and its significance in all four depriving other law students passionate and enthusiastic. son jokingly pointed to his classes that he teaches. of an entire tray of Michie Because the majority bla- “I currently have three articles own route as an example of BLSA’s panel with Profes- Tavern fried chicken goes tantly disregards our own in the pipeline right now, and what students should not do.3 sors Lovelace and Johnson beyond self-serving games- precedent holding in Eight they excite me,” he told the au- Professor Johnson reminded provided invaluable commen- manship of the free food ta- Cartons, I respectively dis- dience. “I look forward to the students that, even if they are tary and advice from two of ble and into the territory of a sent. The majority dispenses time over the summer when I reluctant to pursue a PhD, the most influential profes- high crime and Honor Code with that case’s clear hold- can work on the articles. And there are still opportunities sors of color in the legal acad- infraction. While this Court ing, articulated famously then, over the summer, when available for diverse scholar- emy. The event highlighted does not have the power or by Justice Ranzini, “In the I’m done working on the ar- ship. In the legal academy, the importance of thinking enforcement mechanisms to case of food abandonment ticles, I get excited about be- schools are looking for diverse critically about diversity, and bestow Honor Code viola- and placement on ‘free food ing back in the classroom and professors to populate their many students—including tions upon constituents of tables’ and other customary meeting new people.” classrooms and faculty—espe- BLSA 1L Chair Allison Burns the Law School, this Court loci of disposal and disper- Finally, both professors of- cially within the transactional ’22—expressed admiration would like nothing more sion, that placement, in some fered some advice to encour- fields. While areas of public for all that both professors than to see these two stu- cases, may create a presump- age more diverse students to law might be more competi- have accomplished. Jones, dents tried in front of a jury tion of intention to abandon enter into the academy. Pro- tive, diverse candidates who who moderated the event, un- composed of mostly under- to the free consumption of fessor Lovelace reminded the are interested in studying derscored the importance of grad frat bros, as they debate such clarity as to approach audience to prioritize grades Property or Trusts and Estates this event by adding, “Across whether this offense consti- to irrefutability.” The major- and develop strong relation- will have a “good shot.” academia generally, but even tutes an Honor Code viola- ity, in its quest to achieve a ships with professors, who In closing, both Profes- more so in the legal academy, tion warranting dismissal favorable outcome against will eventually serve as recom- sor Johnson and Professor there is a serious lack of diver- from the school. admittedly unsympathetic menders. He encouraged stu- Lovelace encouraged passion- sity to be seen, and that can In conclusion, although defendants, does away with dents to pursue writing expe- ate law students to pursue ac- manifest itself in classrooms this Court in the past has fol- this ancient rule. I would not riences—including law review ademic careers, even though it and scholarly journals in a va- lowed a general rule uphold- so lightly throw our Court’s notes and seminar papers—as may be intimidating in a field riety of ways. Year-round, but ing the rights of students to precedents to the wind. a way to develop one’s re- that still has much room to especially during Black His- game the Law School’s free I dissent. search and scholarly voice. grow in terms of diversity. De- tory Month, I think we should food according to their will Conducting an independent spite that, Professor Johnson really reflect on the massive and pleasure, the facts of --- study with faculty members described academia—espe- benefits we can all reap from this case compel us to rule [email protected] or completing a clerkship can cially at UVA Law—as one of increased diversity in many the two Michie Tavern fried [email protected] serve as additional qualifica- places in society.” chicken thieves guilty of tions. But most importantly, 3 Don’t be like Professor first-degree free food table Professor Lovelace empha- Johnson, who turned down --- sized the importance of just an invitation for Law Review [email protected] having passion in and of itself. because it meant having to go back to school a month earlier.

mon law vs. German law, what- Would you hire all your kitchens I’ve dealt with Syrian ever. So, I applied, and the LLM friends? (#HireMe) refugees, Palestinian refugees, Letter HOT was the option for me as a Mas- If they’re talented, yes. My Armenian refugees, and Leba- ter’s degree, in the hopes that I criteria would be how theatrical nese people from all around to the BENCH can apply for the SJD here. Fin- you can be about teaching. Lebanon. gers crossed. At my most recent soup kitch- Editor If you could pick one en, I was responsible for seventy Letters of interest to the So, are you saying that song to play in the back- children, mostly Syrian refugees Law School community may Virginia wine is not as good ground of your life, what who were very much abused in be sent to editor@lawweekly. as French wine? would it be? camps. I taught them to dance org. Letters may be Actually, the best wine that That’s a hard one. There was hip-hop so they can relax and published at the discretion I’ve ever had in my life was in one by Rihanna, “I don’t want just get it out there without be- of the Editorial Board and Georgia—the country. Just bet- to do this anymore…” That’s ing violent, which was a big con- are subject to editing for ter than French wine, and the what’s going on right now in my cern for us. The kids were just grammar, style, and clarity, bottles are the cheapest. Com- head. unhappy because they weren’t but not content or viewpoint. Marilyn Hajj, ’20 munism tastes so good. living their childhood. It got to The Law Weekly does not Hi Marilyn! Thanks for What is your spirit ani- the point where I would arrive necessarily endorse the coming to the Hot Bench. Let’s do a lightning mal? at the soup kitchen, and I would content or viewpoint of any Where are you from? round! I feel like the lion. Just obvi- have a child on my arm, a child letter herein published. I’m from Lebanon, from the ously with the hair, but I’m also on my leg, and a child in my capital of the south called Sidon. What’s your anti-stress so inherently lazy, like the lion. hair. That was something I was The UVA SBA Academics and hobby? We’re all just counting on our very passionate about because it Faculty Relations Committee is What do you like best Playing with my hair. partners to do it for us. wasn’t really the main aim of the interested to know more about about Lebanon? NGO, working with kids, but it’s what current UVA Law students I love Lebanon. My friends al- What’s your favorite What are the seven won- something that I felt strongly think about the course offerings ways joke that wherever I go I’m word? ders of the Law School? about, because if I were in their for the 2019-20 academic year. just like a Lebanese ambassa- My favorite word in Arabic shoes, I would like to have fun To that end, the Committee has dor, because the sentence I use is “walaw.” Basically, it’s a tiny 1. The free coffee and tea in and just learn something new. prepared a short survey where the most in every conversation word that you say when some- the library. To promote awareness for students can indicate their sat- is, “In Lebanon… in Lebanon…” one tells you, “thank you,” you 2. The LLM class, absolutely. the problem of food waste, I did isfaction with this year’s course My father is from the south, my say, “walaw.” It means, “and if 3. Pavilion’s lobby. For the Ted Talks in Lebanon. I used offerings. Your responses will mom is from the north, so they I could,” so basically it means parties. to give a yearly intervention help the committee gauge the have very biased opinions about “and if I could do more, I would 4. The staff, just so kind. at the Middle East University. level of satisfaction with this each region of the country. And have done more.” And I love it. 5. Our PAs. Just speaking about what we year’s course offerings and will I drive a ton in Lebanon, so I 6. Softball. do, how we can help, and how provide valuable insight into the have favorite spots, and I love If you could live any- 7. ScoCo. The light just re- we can change our habits to academic preferences of current when people talk to me to tell where, where would it be? minds you that there’s an out- reduce food waste is important students. The survey can be ac- me they want to come visit, and I would love to live in Tbilisi side world is very much needed. because in our culture it’s a big, cessed by visiting http://tiny. I love to be like a tour guide and in Georgia, so pretty. Honestly, big problem. For us, culturally, cc/SBAsurvey or by scanning show them around. I could see myself living a long You’re like a social jus- if we have an invitation of ten our QR code. Please do not fill while in Charlottesville, just so tice person and I want to people, I’m going bring enough out the survey more than once. Why did you decide to get cozy and clean and nice. And in highlight that. Can you tell food for thirty people because I Thank you for your participa- your LLM degree? Bordeaux. The southern parts us a little about your work would rather you be stuffed and tion. I just always knew that my of countries, I like. before law school? not able to walk than to not have passion was to become a profes- Basically, I’ve been working enough. sor and to teach. I love research, If you won the lottery, since I was sixteen in an NGO in and I love conferences and just what would you do with it? Lebanon. It has a dual purpose: --- reaching out to other people, I would just find a way to buy It’s to fight hunger and to fight [email protected] other universities, other coun- a university and start teaching. food waste. On the side of fight- tries, other legal systems—com- ing hunger, the NGO had soup kitchens, and through these 6 The Back Page VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Wednesday, 19 February 2020 A Valentine’s Day Pick Me Up Stan Birch ‘22 Cartoon By Raphael News Editor Is, do they have Disney +?

FedSoc is Red1 A 1L’s first crush ACS is Blue2 Might be someone attractive ANG was alone on Valen- But ANG knows a hottie tine’s Keeps their Quimby account So, this poem’s for you active

“A Law Student’s love The new-found fling For the law is Supreme” Goes out for a cute Valen- Is the lie we all tell tine’s To make interviews dream But the lasting romances Share their elective outlines Virginia is for Lovers Is a lofty goal A Med school mixer When readings and assign- Seemed just the place ments To meet a non-JURIS doc- Pulls time like a black hole tor Who had George Clooney’s Hitting the books face Instead of hitting the gym ANG keeps on wondering At the end of the night How these 1Ls stay slim ANG was left without a rose Because ANG didn’t do These books are so heavy Moot My back is getting a hunch And doesn’t know how to ANG doesn’t have anyone close To take to a boozy brunch Single’s Awareness Day As temperatures drop Has come to pass With a wintry outlook So ANG is back to reading LawHoos’ hearts turn the Dreading the Monday color morning class Of the hated Bluebook As this Hallmark day passes As it gets cold and we No matter how you’re feel- All look for our cuffs ing The most important ques- Just remember tion UVA Law found you appeal-

ing Enjoy! GMT. 2020 18:30:32 17 Feb Mon on http://www.opensky.ca/sudoku by Generated 1 FedSoc is a non-partisan or- ganization. ---- [email protected] 2 ACS is a nonpartisan organi- zation. TIME EVENT LOCATION COST FOOD? WEDNESDAY –February 19 Puzzle 1 (Medium, difficulty ratingSUDOKU 0.51) 13:00 – Journal Tryout WB 152 Free --- 14:00 Bluebook Workshop Slaughter Hall, 15:30 – West Coast Free --- 9 5 4 1 17:15 Hospitality Suites Second Floor

17:30 – West Coast Wahoos Purcell Free --- 3 7 8 19:00 Spring Career Panel UVA Women’s Center 19:00 – Light House Studio: Film Series Free --- 9 8 21:00 Vinegar Hill Theatre Screening: Pariah 20:00 – Swing 101 The Front Porch $5 --- 8 1 2 9 22:00 20:00 – Law Dems: WB 278 Free Provided 22:30 Debate Watch Party 2 5 8 3 THURSDAY – February 20 13:00 – Chat with U.S. Attorney Provided with t Purcell Free 14:00 G. Zachary Terwilliger RSVP 6 4 3 5 17:00 – Free, registration Reception Women in Big Law Caplin Pavilion 19:30 required following event 9 4 FRIDAY – February 21 Human Rights and Tibet: 12:00 – Leading a Caplin Pavilion Free Provided 6 2 7 13:30 o c k e Government-in-Exile Free for UVA 20:00 – 1 2 6 8 Rebel Baroque Concert Old Cabell Hall students who --- 21:30 reserve in advance D SATURDAY – February 22 Generated by http://www.opensky.ca/sudoku on Mon Feb 17 18:30:32 2020 GMT. Enjoy! Stonewall Jackson Hotel 12:00 – Winter Wine Festival & Conference Center, $25-$30 --- Solution h e 17:00 Staunton

T 18:30 – Sloan Wainwright concert C’ville Coffee $20-$24 --- 7 8 4 6 3 2 9 1 5 21:30

SUNDAY – February 23 9 5 3 7 1 8 2 4 6 12:30 – Knead to Know Gnocchi Meal provided 2 6 1 5 4 9 3 8 7

Red Pump Kitchen $65

14:30 cooking class with class 1 2 5 3 8 4 6 7 9 19:00 – Belmont Arts 4 3 8 9 7 6 5 2 1 Big Blue Door Improv $10 --- 21:30 Collaborative

MONDAY – February 24 6 7 9 2 5 1 8 3 4

The Beethoven Experience 5 4 2 8 9 7 1 6 3 18:30 – American Shakespeare 8 9 7 1 6 3 4 5 2 with the $25-$42 ---

21:30 Center, Staunton Borromeo Quartet 3 1 6 4 2 5 7 9 8

22:00 Matthew Willner Rapture Free --- 0.51) rating difficulty (Medium, 1 Puzzle

TUESDAY – February 25 11:00 – New York Day Caplin Pavilion Free Provided 18:00 18:00 – Twisted Branch Tea Evening Tiny Tea Tasting $15 Provided 20:00 Bazaar