SPORTS: NASCAR .fever hits its peak -- PAGE 13

charged with conspiracy to commit' Around ten ycars ago the bowing pare%tho bowing pancls to any long 'year's show and the 'Y4 show, saysi I(burglary and possession of Could 27 be the age for a face Ilft'? and separating of the marble panel, term endeavor. Buildings take on I''we're confident" that gate-crash- \[anexplosivc device. (1 If your facade is-expanding and was brought to Jim McArthur's wear like everything else, and need ling will be eliminated this time - in1 bowing it may be something you attention. McArthur, Physical Plant repairs. want to consider. It's something Director, said it was after that, they According to New Stone that the Houston Cole Library may bega.1 keeping a close on eye on the Technology, Design and be facing in the near future. panels to monitor their movement. Construction for Exterior Wall Houston Cole Library was com- In the past ten years, engineers and Systems, the movement of the mar- pleted in February of 1972. Charles architects have been called in to ble panels can be linked to several H. McCauley out of Birmingham, look at the situation different factors : Alabama was the architect and the "At this point it is not an urgent *Thermal movement - Thermal contractor was Jones & Hardy out safety problem, but it could become of Montevallo. Containing 17 1, one if we neglect it," Bill Meehan see Librar~, page 4 See bv not s The 1999 Disability Challenge is under way By Phil Attinger lenge to JSU faculty to see what a She has trouble with JSU's zig- Editor in Chief typical disabled student must do to zagging sidewalks. The Quad is cope with even a "friendly" cam- especially frustrating since staying JSU student Tonya Robinson says pus. on the sidewalk, which she can feel that she is willing to face the chal- "I really feel accepted here," said with her cane, doesn't necessarily lenge of having a lead-dog find her Robinson in a preparatory interview take her where she wants to go. way around the campus. with Turner. Robinson has only But the brick benches at Dr. Rebecca Turner, head of the been at JSU since this past January. Sparkman Hall help orient her, and sociology program at JSU and act- She tapes lectures. Teachers will she appreciates having the talking ing vice president of Academic and say aloud what they write on the signals at the Hwy 21 crossings. Student Affairs says she is ready for board. Being born into a big fami- "The longer you don't ask for the challenge as well. ly helped her feel accepted, she help, the longer you'll be in that Tonya is going to lead her. thinks. She's the second oldest of predicament," says Robinson. From 9 a.m. this morning until 11 kids. "People are friendly here; they'll noon, Turner will lose her sight,'and Robinson says her parents wanted help" will have to cope with her morning her to feel like everyone else, and Robinson advises Turner to mem- workload without her eyes. they pushed her to succeed. Every orize the locations of numbers on Each year, the Disabled Student day she faces new challenges with a Services office sponsors a chal- positive attitude. see Challenge, page 3

THE CHANTICLEER April 8, 1999 Page 3 rally in

By Eric L. Adler James increasingly sent education funds to Staff Writer primary and secondary schools. Kruzinski also explained that state funding Twenty students and the Pep Band repre- is important because it goes directly toward sented JSU at this year's Higher Education academic improvements, such as building or Rally on the steps of the Alabama State House renovating academic buildings. State colleges on Apr. 6. The rally takes place annually to must use tuition and other funds to make encourage legislation for greater funding to non-academic improvements. state-funded colleges around the state. Governor Siegelman gave a speech during The JSU students were among over 250 stu- the rally, during which he promoted state lot- dents representing every four-year college in tery legislation. Governor Siegelman intends Alabama. The JSU Pep Band joined bands to use profits from the lottery to increase edu- from the University of Alabama and Alabama cational funding at all levels. State University in playing songs in-between An organization calied the Higher Education speeches. A head spectrum of people spoke, Partnership sponsors the rally each year. including students, educators and government Approximately 150 people at JSU are mem- officials. bers of this organization. outgoing SGA president RY~kzinski, Members receive a monthly newsletter with who attended both this year's rally and the MelissaAccording to the "Wall Street Journal," there information about funding initiatives for state By Sarah Trotter News Writer has been an arrest in connection with the rally two years ago said that this year's rally colleges." was different from recent ones because For infomation on how to become a mem- Melissa virus. (With information from the "Wall Street David L. Smith, 30, was arrested on Ciovernor Don Siegelman had secured fund- ber of the Higher Education Partnership, con- ~~~~~yand GT~~~~~i~~~~star") Thursday, April 1 at the home of his brother in ing increases in this year's budget. tact Student Activities at 782-5490. Eatontown, N.J. Smith is charged with "con- "We've been cut every year for four years," You check your e-mail and discover an spiracy to commit the offense, attempt to said Kruzinski, explaining that Governor Fob important message from your best friend. The commit the offense and third-degree theft of computer service," reports the "The Wall Street Journal." Soon after Melissa began racing around the world, virus trackers began tracing her path. Global Unique Identifiers, or GUIDs, led to Smith. GUIDs are identification numbers attached to files by some versions of Word. Theses identification numbers are used to trace Web documents that have file name that have been changed. There is only one GUID for each file created. People who create virus- es can work from existing files instead of cre- ating new files. This throws suspicion on another computer rather than the criminal's computer. Smith may face up to 40 years in prison and a fine of $480,000. According to Steven Altman, Smith's attorney, Smith plans to plead innocent, according to "The Anniston Star." Is the Melissa virus a problem if it only slows traffic on the web and appears to do no other damage? Melissa itself is not the prob- lem. Melissa proves that when so many com- puters are linked together, viruses can spread very rapidly and are a potential danger. ~icrosoftoffers information about macro viruses such as Melissa. Theses viruses take advantage of applications programs - attack- ing documents , templates and other system parts. Macro viruses spread when they are downloaded or the e-mails they are attached to are opened. Microsoft describes signs of macro viruses as "unexplained behavior, such as error mes- sages with unusual slogans or files that have been saved as templates." To prevent infec- tion by a computer virus, Microsoft advises computer users to look for the symptoms and use caution when opening e-mail and when downloading information from the Internet. Antivirus software is also available, but Microsoft warns that the software must be updated if it is to catch new viruses. There are so many viruses that it is difficult for one software to detect them all.

THE CHANTICLEER April 8, 1999 Page 5

Bv Phil Attineer Museums in Europe only began to accept Editor in Chief bequests from private collectors in the first decades of the 20th century. Imagine waiting (some information from "The Humanities," a until 2015 before getting to hear REM, the text by Witt, Brown, Dunbar, Tirro and Witt) Beach Boys or even Run-DMC. According to literature from the High, the You might argue that Impressionists were to French State almost refused the first gift of the 19th century what Rock and Roll music Impressionist paintings: the Caillebotte was to the 20th. (KIE-ye-bot) bequest in 1894. Most critics hated them. They argued that Names like Monet, Degas, Renoir, Pissaro, the works were unfinished and of vulgar, or at Van Gogh and Gauguin are familiar to us. least unworthy, subject matter. Female painters in France, like Berthe Yet today, we celebrate the painters in the Morisot (more-ee-SOH) and Mary Cassatt largest exhibit ever housed in the Southeast. (cuh-SAHT), prove that women took part in The High Museum of Art in Atlanta has these this revolution, a generation before American works on loan from collections and European women could vote. museums until May 16. Many of Monet's works hang with those of In the 1870's, in Paris-a city known for it's his old roommate, Frederic Bazille, who died art-certain painters began to experiment in 1870 in the Franco-Pmssian War. The two with short, bold brush strokes and colors, cre- met in 1863 as Art students. In addition to ating thick textures of paint on the canvas. sharing several studios in Paris, they painted These painters, both men and women, worked together on location at the Normandy Coast to reproduce what their eyes saw only for an and in the countryside near the forest of instant-an impression of what they saw. Up Fountainebleau. until that point, painters produced Realism: To visit their works in Atlanta will cost $13, the reproduction of the world as it was, not as and the show only lasts until May 16. Free +LA ,...An+ on,., :+ "..A:, tnnm orn n.rn:1nl.1,

u Some Impressionist experiments came from Impressionists took the next step and said. art masters who judged works to be shown) .Thursday-~riday, 16 a.m.-g~.m.' Japanese prints that oversimplified a scene "If they can, I can." Crjtics said, "You can't." would refuse Impressionist paintings. During the last two weeks of the show (May rather than reproducing it. The Japanese used The road to museum acceptance for these Impressionists had to organize their own 3-16), the High will extend evening hours rhythmic patterns, flat colors and abstract artists was long. shows. Friendly gallery owners and collec- until 9 p.m. shapes+liminating the need to reproduce Impressionists were not accepted into estab- tors would provide them space, and risk being For ticket informaion, call (404) 733-5000. natural light, shade, space and textures. lished shows because the jurors (present-day shut out of mainstream art circles themselves. Kevin Smith give the stink to religion: satire in full BY David Lee Mathews independent-film companies. If ented, friendly, global conglomerate Features Editor Miramax decides against the film it Disney allows Miramax to release will make a mark against the compa- any film of its choice with the excep- Who could forget the Jersey trilogy. nies prized artistic independence. tion of NC-17 material. Miramax "Clerks," "Mallrats" and "Chasing There is a catch-22. To make. the had to set up a shell company to Amy," all of which were great films decision tougher for any production release the controversial "Kids." from the independent film-maker and company, a wonderful cast, and Several other solutions have been exceptional cartoonist, Kevin Smith. according to Miramax sources, it did considered. Such as the cutting of Smith may in fact have a hard time exceptionally well with test audi- controversial material and the editing with his most recent project with ences and had no religious objec- of the film's most outrageous Mirarnax, a religious satire entitled tions. moments. At any rate, the company "Dogma." Especially here in the The casting includes Ben Affleck, (Miramax) that strives on artistic Bible belt. Matt Damon, Linda Fiorentino, non-subtlety may be growing up a lit- Fearing the same results that Salma Hayek, and Chris Rock. tle and watching- more of their P's and Universal Studios' faced upon the "Dogma" is said to be an intelligent Q's. 1988 release of Martin Scorcese's allegory about faith and organized If viewed possibly with, an open "The Last Temptation of Christ," religion. It is all fine and funny, how- mind, "Dogma" could prove to be Disney, the parent company of ever, most of the viewers, mostly very funny. Disney should expect, if Miramax, seems to be a little nervous including the faithful will only pick deciding to back this film, a drop in about Smith's religious poking and up the negative connotations, includ- attendance at least to one articular the impact that it may have. ing: A trash-talking apostle, a demon theme park in the South. ?he same "Dogma" is strictly a satire, not made of feces, a play on Joseph and drop experienced when they decided meant to be taken seriously, of the Mary's personal life and a God to support homosexuality. Catholic Church or any form of orga- obsessed with the game of skeeball. Look for this title soon, but remem- nized religion. It is enougli to send Not to mention the character of ber you may have to dig this one up, Disney away from the idea and reach- "Buddy Christ," who no longer hangs and if not, it is more than likely an ing for the rosary instead. on a cross but instead gives a thumbs- edited version. Watch out Mickey, I Miramax has made its name on up sign, the Church's attempt to make think old Walt is turning over in his picking up independent films and Catholicism friendlier. grave. keeping its hip dominance among Miramax's deal with the family-ori- Page 6 April 15, 1999 THE CHANTICLEER "In a godda-da-diva, baby"

Bv Wendy Laminack "Because You Loved Me." She the tour, Dion also sings "I'm uses her voice as an advantage. News Writer enjoyed it so much she asked Your Angel." It seems she can never be quiet! the crowd to sing along with To show her versatility, Dion Dion's two hour show was a Let's talk about music for a her, "Alabama style." had her band gather around her whirl of excitement. She never moment. Let's talk about divas Dion's stage was heart- to sing songs that have touched ceased to amaze her audience. of the entertainment world. shaped, with graphics for each her heart over the year%,such as Amazingly, Dion seemed over- Let's talk about Celine Dion's of her songs. Dion joked with Eric Clapton's "Tears in whelmed by the audience as world tour, "Let's Talk About the audience, claiming she Heaven." Dion also sang well. She constantly stopped Love." Crowd participation and chose the stage shape because "Stayin' Alive" and danced. and listened to the audience and enjoyment is what Dion is all she was performing for "the Thousands cheered as her the roar of screams and about. heart of Dixie." powerful voice belted "The applause. She sings with her heart and Dion's tour is based upon her Power of Love" and "It's All Her performance in soul and touches each member latest album, "Let's Talk About Coming Back to Me." Birmingham was an opportuni- of her crowd. If she doesn't Love." The album includes So much energy in such a tiny ty of a lifetime. Very few enter- make her audience cry, she'll "My Heart Will Go On" and her person. Dion explained that tainers put so much feeling into make them laugh. She lets them most recent song, "To Love You because she was the youngest of everything they perform. It's sing and dance until their heart More," and of course, "Let's 14 children, she never was able very clear that Dion is devoted is content. Talk About Love." The album to talk a lot. She jokingly said it to her music as well as her fans. Dion seemed overwhelmed as also features Barbara Streisand seemed no one listened because the crowd called her name as in the duet "Tell Him" and The she was the baby. Now that she she ended her second song, BeeGees in "Immortality." On has become a star, she says she Dont Wait

percussion and static-laced howls. It opens with "Big in Japan," a horn-driven satire from the same vein as 1986's "Hang on St. Christopher," and moves through the reedy, dirge-like "Lowside of the Road." Subsequent pieces experiment with country balladry ("Pony") and choppy, strained rock rifting ("Cold Water"), but the majority of the album dwells in the murky regions of Waits' grotesque jazz stomps. Tom Waits has again enlisted the help of the 2."Any of yooz guys call me BY Graham Smith guitarist Marc Ribot and reedman Ralph Guess the Band Contributing Writer IFrancis, I'll kill you " :I Carney (mainstays of Waits' mid-80's band) 3. "Those aren't pillows!!" and Primus' Les Claypool, who first appeared 1. Journey My guess is that Tom Waits, no stranger to on Machine.s New additions include 4. "1 love the smell of Napalm 2mToto curious speculation, makes an appearance blues harpist Charlie Musselwhite and in the morning. Smells like... other than narrator on his album, "Mule 3. RE0 Speedwagon turntable DJ Marc Reitman. The juxtaposi- victory" Variations." Hammers are frailing, clarinets tion of record scratches and harmonica strains 4. Boston are buzzing and Waits is growling, "What's he sound completely at home in the jarring 5. "Only thing about Santa building in there? What the hell is he building Carla I couldn't stomach ...all atmosphere of balances his 20 points in there?" schizophrenia with ambitious precision. the damn vampires What follows is an absurd spoken 0'' '0 M~~~ prevalent here are waits3 guttural 5ptseach paranoia: a mysterious neighbor, receiving croons and barroom piano, a pleasant addition countless magazine subscriptions, stealing tire to a mix dominated by vocal slurs Music Trivia: swings and housing enough formaldehyde to like Behind the and Eyeball 1. What is the biggest selling "choke a horse," is constructing some unfath- Kid.,, "Chocolate Jesus,, is a sardonic banjo single of all time? omable It bangs and hums and and bass celebration of a asavior wrapped in 2.What is the second biggest smells of poison. cellophane," and "Filipino Box Spring Hog" Kind of like Waits himself. spins madly out of control, inviting every selling single of all time? What listener can deny the mysterious, sin- 5pts each instrument (or rather, every noise-making ister appeal of Waits' bizarre instrumentation mechanism) to take part. It,s a frightening For 15 pts and croaking rasp? Shaping his canon of sea eruption: jubilant, hostike and uncompromis- Which band did not have a shanties, spoken poetry, woozy love songs ing. member die? and rattling cabaret theatrics, Waits' musical So what is he building in there? And who,s machine has employed organs, calliopes, ACIDC, Rolling Stones, doing the building? Is Waits the mad scien- marimbas, saws and caco~~o~ouschoruses Of Pretenders, Sex Pistols, tist, igniting the creation with surges of primal tin and metal. A harsh listen, it nevertheless catharsis and brilliant abandon, or is Waits the Carpenters, Areosmith, Led shrouds an intricate sense melody and creation, coming alive out of the uproarious IZeplin,Spinal Tap, ~oors unparalleled song writing. mingling of music and madness? Hell if I "Mule Variations" is no exception. know. Revisiting the 'clattering whimsy of 1985's THE CHANTICLEER April 8, 1999 Page 7 JSU Drama gets a pat on the back BY Stephen Davis and Casey Cox stage designer. and Jeremy West; Best Supporting Thomas; Best Costume Design- Staff Writers Held at Stone Center, this cere- Actress (non-musical)- tied Debbie Johnson; Best Costume mony includes a night of award pre- between Kim Kuykendall and Technician- Fabio Pires; and many The Academy of Motion Pictures sentations, with entertainment pro- Jessica Duke; Best Actor (in a musi- more. answer the top 10 rea- Arts and Sciences has the Oscars. vided by the students on the main cal)- Jason Bozeman; Best Actress Kriste Sheppard also received the sons why your professor Jacksonville State Drama depart- stage. Food and dance followed the (in a musical)- Amber Cox; Best Blue and Gold Award, presented by sucks. ment has the Alphies, sponsored by awards in the Black Box Studio Supporting Actor (in a musical)- Dr. Wayne H. Claeren. This award the Alpha Psi Omega honor frater- Theatre. Those attending wore not John Dodson, Best Supporting is given to someone who exempli- 9. After you get the nity. only formal attire, but also wore Actress (in a musical)- Casey Cox; fies the attitude of the Alpha Psi exam, call the instructor Semi-formal/formal award cere- costumes or masks. Best Male Cameo- Cris Morriss; Omega and the Drama department; over, point to any ques- mony happens every year. This Some of the awards and winners Best Female Cameo- Amber and puts a great deal of effort into year the awards were presented included: Best Actor (non-musical)- Moody; Best All-around the department. tion, ask for the answer. Saturday, April 10th at 6 p.m. Doug Millington; Best Actress Technician- tied between Steve If you have any questions about Try to work it out. The Drama professors select the (non-musical)-Elizabeth Chandler; Mullis and Jason Shaffer; Best the drama department or Alphi Psi award winners in all aspects of the- Best Supporting Actor (non-musi- Stage Manager- Kriste Sheppard; Omega, call 782-5623. 8. Comment on how atre, everything from acting to the ca1)- tied between Tim Prestridge Best Assistant Stage Manager- Jon sexy the instructor is looking that day. 7. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all the questions and answers completely blacked out. 6. Come down with a & bad case of Turet's P Syndrome during the sw exam. Be as vulgar as 0 possible. F 5. Fifteen minutes into the test, rip up the exam % CHecK IT OUT into very small pieces, ON TIIE WEB. throw them into the air wmv.fonl~cucont/colbgegfit1 and yelling "Merry Christmas." Ask for another copy of the exam because you lost the first one, repeat. 4. Bring cheerleaders (for whatever). 8. On the answer sheet, find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer F every question like: "I Ei refuse to answer this 0 question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs." 2. Walk in, get the exam. About five min- utes into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand any of this! I've been to every lecture this semester. What's the deal? And who the Ford Mastang Canwrtible hell are you? Where's the regular guy?" hit books. to Coffege 1. Talk the entire way You've the Now it's time hit the road. Ford can hefp. seniors through the exam. Read and grad students get $400 cash back" toward the purchase or Ford Credit your questions and Red Carpet Lease of any eligible Ford or Mercury. it's academic: pocket the cash, debate your answers out drive the legend. For more Coifege Graduate Purchase Program info, loud. If asked to stop, calf 1-000-321-1 5% or visit the Web at www.fafard.comfcotiegegrd say "l'm really sure you can hear me thinking!" Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is. 'B be ~&JI&, FU m3t g~mswth an %mls$ or bchelsrb d m $ewmn 1CVlt97 and or be crnmtlg. m~ralFjd pusde&chaB( abu simt purchi~~ew 1~68 pur nw 1m?arrre c~sstosraarand m1c.b sRg8lIay reSOnct&JaTS w ywr c~mfob delis -compiled from GJ & Cornpaw's Humor Paee $1 OFF

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#I College Center 435-4367 Jacksonville, A1 I THE CHANTICLEER April 15, 1999 Page 9 Page 10 April 15, 1999 THE CHANTICLEER

With friends like us,., Spring Sucks BY Phil Atfinger - Editor-in-Chief BY Adam Smith - News Editor But through ski- I hate Spring. I don't hate them with their personal- So here we sit in country? the time of the year per se, low point-in-Spring disease. the middle of an Let's get real. The but I generally just hate the For a mere $2500 to the unpopular war. pilot had a video cam- bad turn of events that religion of your choice, you Well, this is only era shooting out the befalls me during this can sit in a yellow room for the second time in canopy. This may blessed time of the year. 24 hours a day listening to MY life that this is have been a routine Indeed the flowers are Yanni and repeating the happened. patrol, but this guy blooming. The temperature mantra "Spring is keen." Fortunately, I wasn't was pushing for an is getting warmer. Children For an extra $500, you can any more than five adrealine rush. play in the street with the take a vow of silence and . during the first he, You may ask, "why outdoor toys that they just think about the mantra. so I sailed thrctugh it was he aquitted received for Christmas. The food's not real good. in bliss. then?" Baseball is back. Grills are lit We'll just serve bread and This tiae, I'm dis- Simple: Wi!l a "almost simultaneously in water, but what a great way gusted. nation, about to go to war, allow its own peo- suburban neighborhoods to shed those extra pounds. We told Milosevic (how many of you have ple to see flaw in the fighting men? Will we after 6 p.m. Bees are buzzing If you're not healed in 4-5 not seen it spelled?) that he should stop killing let another country have the head of one of our and birds are chirping. All is weeks, you get a refund, a ,off his perceived enemies or we would begin soldiers just as we need to look strong in the righc with the world. Not visit from the Pope and a bombing. He didn't, we waited and made Balkans? quite. Hail Mary. another uitimatim. No. The problem, folks, is while everyone is I've thought of starting a similar more He didn't stop. We didn't start. We need to look in control, which we could- celebrating the joys of Spring, I am suffering tough love-oriented program in Iowa offering Something was wrong here. n't if one of our men is found guilty of murder. through my yearly low point. We all have similar treatment. For only $2QO to the But that wasn't the worst of it. We seemed Ultimately, it does't matter. one. Mine just happens to be in the Spring. ICRWR, (Iowa Chapter of Right Wing to have trouble fianlly standing up to our ene- We don't have the upper-hand over Don't have a personal low point, you say? Radicals) you get a daily dose of lithium, and mies. but we had no trouble "standing-up" to Milosevic, and we're hitting the wrong tar- Let me explain. Adam Smith's definition of a you help armed men stock bunkers full of gets, like passenger trains (basically grounded personal low point includes; an extreme lack guns, ammo, bottled water and potted meat Take Italy, krexample. gondolas). of cash flow, grades that are hurting so bad for the upcoming Armageddon. If you're not We are sending our bombing runs from a But what ever happened to t&ng responsi- that they ask you to put them out of their mis- satisfied, you get a refund, an American flag, U.S. Air Base in Italy. If I'm not mistaken, it's bility. It seems the movement in America ery, car trouble, bills, bills, bills, health trou- a visit from Rush Limbaugh and a free semi- the same air base that was home to the plane today is to not take responsibility for anything ble, depression, denial, anger and acceptance. automatic machine gun. crew who flew their plane straight into a gon- we do wrong, even if it was a mistake. Yes, acceptance. Acceptance of the fact that In all seriousness, I don't know of anything Just because it was a mistake, it doesn't your life sucks, and there's nothing you can that would help this disorder unless they Also, if I'm not mistaken, we aquitted the mean there aren't consequences. We seem to do about it. Add to all of this a severe smok- make a drug that would allow you to sleep flight crew of any wrong-doing to the puzzle- want to say that just because he goofed, wc ing habit, and a swollen uvula. from the beginning of Spring right up until ment and shock of the families of the dead. shouldn't have to bs responsible to the Italians However, I've been thinking of starting Thanksgiving. Even then, you'd still have Well, after all, the flight crew was only prac- who lost family members. programs to help people who suffer from the indigestion, annoying relatives, and have to ticing for low-level bombing runs over Serbia. Negligence has its penaly, too. same affliction. I've thought about bringing do the dishes. I guess there is no good time of We can't blame them for flying too low or too We owe them something more. my people to a monastery in Rome to help the year, huh?

Hey, did anyone remember to brine the stealth bomber with them? THE CHANTICLEER April 8, 1999 Page 11 Simon strikes twice in the same place; This time, with Hawn and Martin ' If you could write a tabloid headline, I had. Luckily, cast in the starring mercy for their misfortune. what would it be? roles was comic veterans Steve After introduced, we learn that he is compiled by the Dynamic Duo Martin ("Father of the Bride" and also a cross-dresser. This gag comes I - "The Jerk") and Goldie Hawn over making me feel uncomfortable (Overboard" and "Foul Play"). more than anything, although it is Though there is a funny chemistry necessary (I guess) later in the plot. between the two actors, they are The most outstanding aspect of the upstaged by the hilariously dry John film is the way it was written. Simon By Dave Sharp Cleese ("Monty Python" and "A Fish has always had a knack for comedy Managing Editor Called Wanda"). and is sure to get a laugh out of Martin and Hawn play the fish-out- everybody. But Simon can't carry Can piends have sex, If you're like me and a fan of 70's of-water routine as suburbians from the burden of the film alone. and just really be friends. and 80's genre comedy, you'll like Ohio who must travel to New York Unfortunately, the producers took a "The Out-of-Towners." If you're a City for a job interview. The couple good story and messed it up. The fin- product of the 90's and can't laugh at face outrageous obstacles putting ished product wasn't extraordinary, anything but the plastic faced Jim themselves, each other and their mar- though the menagerie of styles will Laura Smith Carrey or the foul-mouthed Chris riage to the test. make you laugh. I just hope that the Senior Rock, don't insult the art by going to Martin plays his typical neurotic- actors can trudge through their mid- 'CA announces the museum. By the way, Jim and successful-middle-aged-fatherhus- dle-aged-mediocrity and earn a new Chris are very funny, but that's not all band-in-a-crisis role that is almost audience and in turn a new respect. that's out there. depleted, and Hawn regurgitates her As a strict date movie, "Out-of- Director Sam Weisman ("George of cry-baby-middle-aged-somebody- Towners" is sure to provide entertain- the Jungle," who hired this guy?) recognize-my-feelings role seen in ment though you may want to wait the past. Though redundant, they still for a video release. helmed the 1999 remake of the 1970 *.*.. 0.. Neil Simon classic starring Jack are funny and the situations they get Rusty Hughes caught in bed Lemmon and Sandy Dennis. into almost make the movie. Rating: 8- with Hillary Clinton. Weisman didn't do a horrible job but While the Americans are busy re- the film lacked a true comedic eye hashing old material, it is the Briton necessary to tackle a script by Simon Cleese that gives the show-stopping . Rusty Hughes Junior and to direct the caliber of actors he performance as the snooty, black- hearted hotel manager that shows no We advise, "Don't go," A film that suggests movement stands still ...... thought America would want to see. four hour period. Monica S next lover: Close but no Cigal: What really made me sick was Some of the situations they get recruiting two TV heartthrobs from themselves into are -funny like: a "Dawson's Creek" and "Party of seemingly swinging, bisexual cop Five" (which by my count now is and his wife who invite (blackmail) actually a party of ten) who really two gay soap stars to their home for Sophomore have no business on the silver Christmas dinner and maybe a spe- screen. They need to stay on the cial dessert, actually have them there A-0-Piabducted by aliens. boob tube until they graduate into for an all together different reason. Hollywood. Everybody seems to screw Todd the Liman also does something that drug-dealer over with fraudulent I'm tired of seeing: directors need to credit card purchases and back- Allison Wa mon, Sophomore and By Dave Sham stop ripping off Quentin Tarantino. scamrning drug deals. The Vegas Stephanie 8unyans, Senior Managing Editor In "Swingers," he ripped off a scene chapter shouldn't be missed either. from "Reservoir Does."- though the The onlv stand out uerformance One phrase kept running around in characters admitted openly to the came from Taye Diggs ("How Stella audience what they were about to Got Her Groove Back,") who is also Forum is our readers' column. Our policy for let- my mind while I was watching this ters to the editor should be kept in mind when sending submis- film: "Get up and walk out!" And I do, which made it funny. This in four more films this year. sions to The Chanticleer: never walk out on a movie. bizarro world -"Pulp Fiction" with a Luckily I did stay for the entire - The Chanticleer will not print letters which are unsigned, bunch of kids at the helm is almost movie though I sat bored most of the libelous and/or defamatory. "Go" is the latest venture by - The Chanticleer reserves the right to edit letters for space and "Swingers" veteran Doug Liman. the literary equivalent of plagiarism. time. The few and far between grammar, as well as style. With a tagline like "Life begins at 3 I can be sued or kicked out of school- clever pranks were worth a movie * There will be at least two weeks between publication of letters for copying someone else's work, is rental not a movie ticket price. I from the same person. We will publish rebuttals no later a.m.," I thought I would be in store than two weeks after the publication of the article, for another comiq-witty-happenin'- the rest of the world not held to these suggest "The Matrix" if you want to editorial or letter in question. 'money' film full of characters standards? go to a movie. And if you want to - The Chanticleer reserves the right to refuse publication of any Anyway-"Go" is a fast paced after sample Liman's talent as a director, I submission. drinking all night and chasing beau- - Deadline for submissions is noon Monday, before desired tiful babies around LA. I was graduation, teenage singles scene for suggest renting "Swingers." publication that Thursday. In the event of a three day .wrong. the nineties full of sex, drugs, music, weekend, submission deadline is 4 p.m. the preceeding Friday. beer and taking chances. It follows Rating: C - Bring submissions or send through campus mail to our office: It seems Liman jumped on the all- Room 180 Self Hall--JSU, or send submissions via e-mail --- too-popular-teenage-hipster band- a handful of kids that hail from a [email protected]. crappy discount mart over a twenty- - All submissions must include a name, phone number and student wagon and created a movie he number for JSU students. Gamecocks continue to struggle in TAAC By Will Roe one run. Brad Smith cranked his Troy State 12 Sports Writer first career homer in a JSU uni- Jacksonville State 7 form to help JSU to the win. Game one of the three game JSU has struggled all season Georgia Southern 14 series at Troy turned sour quickly long in TAAC play, and last Jacksonville State 2 for JSU. Troy got eight runs in weekend was no exception. The Golden Eagles took their the first two innings to lead 8-1 The Gamecocks were only able frustrating loss from the night after two innings. The Trojans to take one of the three games at before out on JSU pitchers on never looked back. Troy State, and that has been the Wednesday afternoon. Brandon Culp took the loss for case for most of the season. They Brandon Myers got his first the Gamecocks, surrendering 11 have won just one TAAC series career decision in his career at hits and 10 runs in his five innings this season, taking two of three JSU. Unfortunately, it came in of work. from the Stetson Hatters at home the form of a loss. He pitched six Wes Brooks hit his sixth homer March 12-13. innings, surrendering eight hits of the season, and Andy Keith Jacksonville State 5 added his first longball as a Georgia Southern 1 Gamecock to pace JSU. The field was already muddy Troy State 6 from the rains that fell last Jacksonville State 2 Tuesday morning. Then the fog In game one of Saturday's dou- came rolling in. JSU led 5-1 after bleheader, it was the same old six innings. Georgia Southern story for JSU-another TAAC loss. scored seven runs in their half of Troy led 5-0 before Joey Foster the seventh, mostly with the help got a two-run double for JSU in of the thick fog that was rolling their half of the sixth inning. He in. JSU outfielders simply could was the only run-producer in the not see the ball. game for JSU, however, as the After a Southern extra-bas- hit Gamecocks went on to the 6-2 in the seventh, the game was put loss. under a fog delay-yes a fog delay- and six runs, four of which were Sammy Button took the loss for for 52 minutes. The fog refused earned. JSU, dropping him to 2-4 on the to go away. Things began to Brad Smith was trying to year. He gave up six runs, all work in JSU's favor. NCAA rules become JSU's version of Mark earned, and 10 hits in his six state that an official game that is McGwire, going deep for the sec- innings of work. stopped due to weather reverts ond time against Georgia Jacksonville State 8 back to the last inning completed, Southern in as many nights. Troy State 7 which was the sixth. JSU got the Russell Harry had a three-for- JSU managed to salvage the 5-1 win. Talk about home field three game with two doubles and final game of the series at Troy in luck. an RBI. the second game of Saturday's Michael Lindsey pitched the Southern got 10 runs in their doubleheader. Starter Jason Nunn half of the seventh to seal JSU's whole six innings to get the win. See Baseball, page 14 He surrendered just two hits and fate.

JSU sfill in the hunf for TAAC Division fifle By Shannon Faean ing Uribe to advance to third. The Lady Gamecocks looked for the sweep Sports Editor Two batters later, designated hitter Tifanie in game two, but Centenary used a four run Cain singled to allow Uribe to score JSU's fourth inning to help them defeat JSU. Jacksonville State kept their hopes alive for first run. But that wasn't all for the inning. Lauren Buck suffered her sixth loss of the a TAAC Western Division crown at Shortstop Julie Boland singled home Bowyer year. She pitched three innings, giving up University Field last Thursday. to make it 2-0. four runs off three hits. She was relieved in Coach Jana McGinnis' club split a double- It was the same story for the Lady the fourth by Wilcoxson, who held the Ladies header with Centenary to push their record to Gamecocks in the fourth inning. This time, scoreless the rest of the way. 26-19 overall and 7-5 in the TAAC. Here is a they managed three runs to give them a com- However, JSU could only manage a run. look at the action: fortable 5-0 lead. That came in the sixth when Duncan led Jacksonville State 5 Things got started when first baseman things off with a single. Buck doubled, Centenary 0 Terrah Foster singled. Right fielder Tanya enabling Duncan to advance to third. Jill Wilcoxson shut down Centenary in Carter doubled and Foster advanced to third. After a line out by Uribe, Bowyer singled game one, striking out three and holding the After a walk to Cain, Boland reached on a to left field to score Duncan. However, what Ladies scoreless. Her teammates helped her fielder's choice. looked to be a promising inning ended when out in the second and fourth innings, scoring Second baseman Christine Tucker grounded Foster flied out to centerfield. five runs. out to the pitcher allowing Carter to score. The Lady Gamecocks got back in action on In the second, the Lady Gamecocks manu- Third baseman Toni Duncan singled to score Tuesday afternoon. They hosted in-state rival factured two runs to take the early lead. It all two more runs to put the game out of reach for Troy State at University Field in another dou- started with centerfielder Michelle Uribe's Centenary. bleheader. single to lead off the inning. Leftfielder Centenary 4 Hollie Bowyer doubled to right field, allow- Jacksonville State 1 THE CHANTICLEER April 8, 1999 Page 13 JSU holds final spring scrimmage

The roar of the engines is upon us in the 30th anniversary of "Track Attack Weekend" By Will Roe Sports Writer

Next weekend is "Track Attack Weekend" at Talladega Superspeedway. Top Winston Cup drivers like Dale Earnhardt, Jeff Burton, Mark Martin, Dale Jarrett, and yes, even Jeff Gordon will be at the 2.66 mile track next weekend to battle for one spot, victory lane in the Diehard 500. NASCAR is, without question, the most Labonte and Jeff Gordon breathing down his popular spectator sport in America, based on neck for the lead. It will all come down the attendance figures. Show me another sport series finale in the NAPA 500 at Atlanta in America where a venue can hold over Motor Speedway in November. 200,000 and still not have enough room for As mentioned, that is what makes all the fans trying to get in. NASCAR great- the battle goes to the very NASCAR is unlike other sports. When end before there is a winner. you go to or watch a NASCAR race on TV, If you do not already have tickets to the you have no idea who is going to win until races next weekend, it will be very hard to the checkered flag falls at the very end. It get them now. Your best chance would be could, and most of the time does, come seeing the Busch race on Saturday. It will down to that last lap. That is what makes be extremely hard to get good tickets to the the sport great, and everything in between Diehard 500 on Sunday, the 25th. There is the green and checkered flag as well. still one way to get in on the action first We are lucky enough to have the world's hand. The speedway is giving JSU students most competitive track just a short drive a chance to work the race. from here at Talladega. Average speeds here The track needs servers, bartenders, are around 195 miles per hour throughout a foodldrink runners as well as clean up per- race. sonnel after the races. If you are interested, you don't have to go to the track to check it There are constantly race cars beside you, Gordon, Jarrett, Mark Martin, as well as the host of drivers coming down from the out. sometimes on both sides of you. The close Labonte brothers battle for wins there. Winston Cup Series to run the race. Simply' check with the Part-Time competition and wrecked nerves almost There is one more added attraction to It will be an awesome and fast weekend at ~m~lo~mentoffice in 107 Bibb Graves Hall. always leads to bad crashes. "Track Attack Weekend". The NASCAR Talladega. It is the one of the biggest events There you will find Pearl Williams, who will The track has a lot of history. This is the Busch Series will run its Touchstone Energy in the state all year long, up there with the be happy to sign you up as well as give you 30th anniversary season for Talladega. 300 on the Saturday of race weekend. That Iron Bowland the Winston 500 (also at the details of those jobs as well as others Talladega has seen guys like Earnhardt, ultra-competitive series features guys like Talladega in October). The Winston Cup that have come through her office. Her cam- Davey and Bobby Allison, and Richard Petty future Winston Cup star Dale Earnhardt, Jr., points leader as of the Bristol race is Jeff pus phone number is 782-5289. in victory lane. Now it is seeing guys like Matt Kenseth, Randy Lajoie, as well as a Burton, with guys like Dale Jarrett, Bobby Page 14 April 15, 1999 THE CHANTICLEER Gamecocks lose two of three in Troy: set to begin seven-game home stand JSU, which began in 1970. Baseball, jivm page 12

Joey Foster hit his third longball of the season in They return home this weekend against in-state r the game. George Tsimpides went four-for-four in Samford.

a three-game losing streak for the Gamecocks. home at the JSU baseball field. The Gamecocks stand at 14-24 on the season, with Things could still turn around for this team a 6-12 TAAC record. The 24 losses so far are the some luck in conference play, and the postseaso most in any one season in the Rudy Abbott era at not out.of the question for the Gamecocks.

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