THE MAGAZINE FOR THE BRETHREN IN CHRIST COMMUNITY IN THE U.S. Fall/Winter 2015

HIGHER LOVE

RISING WITH HUMILITY, GRACE, AND TRUTH IN THE PURSUIT OF SEXUAL HOLINESS ™ THE VIEW THE MAGAZINE FOR THE BRETHREN IN CHRIST INPART Fall/Winter 2015 VOLUME 128 NUMBER 3 COMMUNITY IN THE U.S. FROM HERE

I was 14 when “Friends” made history with the first lesbian these labels helpful within the paradigm of a life transformed Now I know in part; then I shall FEATURES wedding ever shown on TV. Born right at the tail end of “the by God, these are the terms our culture uses. While of course know fully, even as I am fully divorce generation,” my peers and I saw broken marriage as we are not of this world, we certainly remain in it, and we are known. I Corinthians 13:12 6 Higher love more of a norm than an exception. I’m young enough that charged with sharing the Gospel with those who have not ≥ Rising with humility, grace, and truth openly gay friends, co-workers, relatives, and classmates have heard it. This requires us to be at least conversant, if not fluent, BRETHREN IN CHRIST CHURCH in the pursuit of sexual holiness been part of my life since I was a teenager—they haven’t been in the language of those around us—even if we speak a very IN THE U.S. National Director: Alan Robinson by dulcimer hope brubaker confined to the closet. But I’m old enough to remember a time different dialect amongst fellow Jesus-followers.] with alan robinson and perry engle when cohabitation was frowned upon and the term “same-sex This issue engages the conversation about human sexuality— Guest Editor: Dulcimer Hope Brubaker marriage” didn’t even exist. In a relatively short period of time, a gift from God that deserves respect and careful stewardship. In Creative Consultant: Nathan Stonge Graphic Designer: our culture has made a momentous shift in the way it views, keeping with our Anabaptist tradition, we have tried wherever William Teodori 431 Grantham Road experiences, and talks about sexuality. possible to steer clear of political and legislative arguments—what Mechanicsburg, PA 17055 USA But viewed another way, there’s nothing new under the sun. our forebears would have called “the matters of the kingdom of Telephone: (717) 697-2634 Broken expressions of sexuality have been around as long as the this world.” These matters deserve our attention, to be sure, but Fax: (717) 697-7714 10 Saying ‘I do’ to God inpart.org (ISSN 1940-2945) human race itself. And sexual immorality was no stranger to they must not be allowed to eclipse the primary question for fol- ≥ How seven faithful believers live out their the Early Church. As Brethren in Christ, we believe that Jesus lowers of Jesus: How does Jesus want us to live and love? IN PART (ISSN 1940-2937) is published callings in singleness and in marriage twice a year by the Brethren in Christ calls us to a higher standard than that of the world, and we also It’s not an easy question, but as we ask it together, spurring Church in the U.S. In Part invites readers by susan k. getty into a dynamic relationship with Jesus believe His Spirit empowers us to live a life that is holy and one another on, we can be confident that God will meet us, Christ within the context of the shared life pleasing to God. filling us with grace and truth as we seek Him. and ministry of the BIC Church. But many questions remain: What does it actually look like Printed by Graphics Universal Incorporated to pursue holiness with our sexuality? How do we honor mar- Send feedback, address changes, or subscrip- tion questions to [email protected]. riage while also valuing the celibate life? How do we relate to people in our society whose sexual lifestyles differ from our own? Postmaster: Send changes of address to: IN PART [A note here: In this issue, we have used a variety of terms 431 Grantham Road such as “heterosexual,” “gay,” and “LGBTQ”—Lesbian, Gay, Dulcimer Hope Brubaker, Mechanicsburg, PA 17055 USA

Bisexual, Transgender, Queer. While we may not always find guest editor Nonprofit Postage paid at Greencastle, PA 17225-9998 DEPARTMENTS 2 LIFE IN THE BODY 14 BY THE NUMBERS Printed in U.S.A. → Mennonite World → The American experience Member of the Evangelical Press Association. Conference 2015, Equip- Biblical quotations, unless otherwise indicated, ping families for school, TO THE POINT are from the New International Version. 15 Recovering from natural → Leading disciples to follow Jesus Copyright © 2015. All rights reserved. disasters with their whole being CREATIVE Printed with soy ink on FSC®-certified Rolland IN YOUR by jon hand, keith miller,

Opaque 30 paper. Manufactured using biogas nathan stonge, & deb wiles CONTRIBUTORS energy. 30% of the paper fiber comes from 4 ECHOES WORDS recycled, post-consumer waste, and 70% → Serving sacrificially comes from well-managed forests. POINTS OF VIEW Cory Keller is a professional photographer in the big city 16 and designer located in Abilene, Kans. He → Should the Church perform What a joy your Spring/Summer 2015 magazine has given me! has lived there with his wife and three chil- PART OF THE WHOLE ‘legal’ marriages? dren for the past eight years. Cory is also the 5 by joe laher & jeff wright Thank you for sending it! What a “WOW!” of a cover! I was children/youth/media director for LifeHouse → Kate Vosburg not able to turn to the first page until I answered the question, Church (Abilene, Kans.). keller-photo.com “What’s your cause?”: “All of them!” Reading through the con- 17 PARTING WORDS → Imagining a Church full tent had me laughing, crying, weeping, and just being thankful. Scott McFadden works on the communica- tions team at the Brethren in Christ office of grace and truth in Mechanicsburg, Pa. Along with assisting by perry engle God bless you, with love and respect, in the overall creative direction, he shaped the “Life in the Body,” “By the Numbers,” and Betty Lou Olson “To the Point” departments. Scott is actively Calico Rock, Ark. involved at The Meeting House (Carlisle, Pa.).

fall/winter 2015 1 IN PART LIFE IN THE BODY stories of the bic in action LIFE IN THE BODY

MANY ANABAPTISTS, A NEW ONE GLOBAL BODY ◊ NORMAL MWC PA 2015 draws believers IN NEPAL from all over the world Picking up pieces “The human body has many parts, but the in the aftermath MCC Photo/Rhoda Shirk, Cindie Leer, Joel Marandi Shirk, Cindie Leer, MCC Photo/Rhoda many parts make up one whole body. So of devastating it is with the body of Christ.” (1 Corin- earthquakes PHOTOS L–R: L–R: PHOTOS thians 12:12, NLT). ∂ A group of volunteers works together to build a prefabricated ∂ A volunteer for the Youth Impact Project ∂ The roof of a local BIC church member’s home in Pounding nails may be the last activ- house for Mennonite Disaster Service during MWC 2015. searches for the perfect pair of shoes Bihar lays crumpled following a devastating cyclone On April 25, 2015, a ity one might expect at an international for a local child in need. in April. massive earthquake church convention, but for many at struck Nepal’s capital, the Mennonite World Conference PA As part of the Anabaptist tradition, BACKPACKS FOR ALL trict leaders, civic organizations, and over SHAKEN BUT Kathmandu. The 7.8-magnitude quake 2015 (MWC), it was a perfect fit. the Brethren in Christ share strong ties 400 volunteers. The event is open all day NOT BROKEN set off a series of aftershocks—some as Every afternoon, just outside the with MWC. The former president of Ministry equips struggling one Saturday at the end of summer. large as magnitude 7.3—that continue air-conditioned halls of the Harris- MWC, Danisa Ndlovu, recently com- families for a new school year In addition to a free lunch, each Cyclone in Bihar wreaks havoc to this day. The destruction has taken burg (Pa.) Farm Show Complex, two pleted his six-year term. Ndlovu, long- family in attendance receives free on an impoverished area over 8,000 lives and injured at least an- prefabricated houses were built by par- time bishop of the Brethren in Christ “Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one school supplies, books, shoes, haircuts, other 16,000. Over 500,000 homes and ticipants looking for a way to use their Church in Zimbabwe, served as MWC of the least of these brothers and sisters of a bike helmet, a family portrait, a back- Three days before the first earthquake buildings have been destroyed, including muscles that would connect meaning- vice president from 2003–2009 under mine, you did for me.” (Matthew 25:40). pack, and a bag of groceries. struck Nepal this past April, a strong many historical sites in Nepal. Countless fully to their faith. president Nancy Heisey, who also iden- Two years ago, Ken Landis, pastor In 2014, the event served more than storm swept through the state of Bihar people are left in the aftermath, coping Participants included people of all tifies as BIC. Along with Bruxy Cavey, at Mountain Ridge Regional Church 2,300 people. This year, it provided in eastern India. The storm brought de- with the loss of family members, houses, ages, many of them inexperienced in teaching pastor of The Meeting House (BIC) in Dillsburg, Pa., was approached supplies and services for over 2,800. struction to several districts in the eastern and their sense of stability. construction. Darwin Villacis, part of a (BIC Canada), Ndlovu and Heisey were by some friends dreaming up an idea. Along with financial donations from part of the state, killing at least 32 people The effects of these quakes have mission church in Ecuador, contributed featured speakers for this year’s confer- Excitement hummed in their voices as businesses and private donors, the proj- and injuring another 80. Countless been felt by many BIC children and two afternoons to the project in order ence, representing 550 registered BIC they shared a vision of providing aid ect received and gave away more than homes were destroyed, as well as farmers’ leaders near the SPICE hostel in to observe how North Americans built attendees from across 12 countries. and hope for local, struggling families 2,000 backpacks, 3,000 books, and crops. Trees were uprooted, blocking Biratnagar, Nepal. Aftershocks of the their houses. MWC paints a vibrant picture of during back-to-school time. 4,000 pairs of new shoes this year. roadways and damaging infrastructure. major quakes have brought tens of “I have talent in my hands; I don’t the verse in 1 Corinthians: Though “I only heard every third word,” Ken is overwhelmed at the collective Joel Mirandi, chairman of the thousands of dollars in damages to the have talent with my words and my we are many parts scattered around explains Ken. “The last thing I needed response to this ministry. “For me, the Brethren in Christ Church in Bihar, hostel and surrounding facilities. Many tongue,” said the 47-year-old mechanic. the globe in diverse ministry contexts, was something else to do.” As the con- most exciting part is watching all the was directly affected by the storm. BIC Church pastors and leaders are Darwin joined more than 7,500 we are still part of the same whole. So versation continued, however, some- churches working and serving together,” Strong winds tore through his home still unable to repair their homes due Anabaptists from 65 countries for whether gathering together under the thing caught his attention. “‘Imagine,’” he says. “We are serving together to love in Purnea, destroying much of his roof. to a lack of available resources. Shemlal a week of worship, fellowship, and hot July sun to build houses for those they said, “‘no one would get credit the community as the bigger Church.” Fortunately, his wife and three children Hembron, national director of the BIC vision at MWC in Harrisburg, Pa., in in need or receiving training in Biblical for it.’” The fire was lit, and the Youth Just two years ago, this ministry was were uninjured. Many other BIC pas- Church in Nepal, asks for support: late July. The assembly convenes once conflict resolution, we all work for Impact Project was born. nothing more than a vision in several tors in the area have seen their homes “Please pray for SPICE children and every six years and encompasses a the same goal: to become and make Having completed its sophomore friends’ minds. Today, hundreds of completely destroyed by this storm. God’s protection upon them.” To learn wide variety of components, including disciples of Jesus. year, the Youth Impact Project is a com- families have been able to experience, Joel asks the BIC U.S. to partner with more and to sponsor your own child global worship, teaching, workshops, munity event, driven by more than 20 in a tangible way, the tremendous love them by offering prayer and encourage- through the SPICE program, visit Adapted from a 2015 MWC story by Byron Rempel-Burkholder and service projects. pa2015.mwc-cmm.org/doing-something-about-faith local churches, 20 businesses, school dis- and hope of Jesus Christ. ment as they begin to rebuild. bic-church.org/wm/spice.

2 IN PART INPART.ORG fall/winter 2015 3 IN PART ECHOES exploring our heritage of faith PART OF THE WHOLE focusing on one woman’s faith

KATE VOSBURG Seventeen years of campus ministry and God’s leading have positioned her to bridge the gap between the Church and the LGBTQ community. Kate will now take your questions.

As a believer with a traditional view and Scripture’s authority. Then I lay out of marriage, what led you to LGBTQ three positions: “redeemed sexuality,” ministry? which says that because of sin, all of us About five years ago, one of our need our sexuality redeemed, and that student leaders was hosting an event God wants us to live out our sexual and two presidents of LGBTQ clubs lives through either celibacy or lifelong happened upon it. This student was marriage between one man and one chatting with them and suddenly felt woman; the gay-affirming perspective; the need to ask forgiveness, recogniz- and “I don’t know.” Underneath the ing that Christians had sinned against gay-affirming perspective, often, are Sarah H. Bert (front row, the LGBTQ community. They were deeper questions about how we inter- center) had a knack for really struck by that, and it led to an pret Scripture, whether or not God is drawing in young women in her urban Chicago “ally” training [a reconciliation process really good, and if Jesus fully satisfies. neighborhood, teaching that trains non-minority students to be Those, to me, are even more important them to both sew skillfully and to follow Jesus. She able to advocate for a minority group]. discipleship questions that are revealed. was known for buying But it was going to be hard for some perfume—something no respectable BIC woman of the Christians to be “allies” because What do you wish people knew of her time would do—in that required full endorsement. So the about Jesus? order to get the door-to- president of the LGBTQ group said, That Jesus is at work in the world, door sales girls to come HOME CONGREGATION: to Sunday school. “We need to create a new category— making this a place that reflects the Upland (Calif.) BIC Photo: Courtesy of the Brethren in Christ Historical Library and Archives ‘friend,’ someone who stands against goodness of God—shalom. I wish they bullying, harassment, and anything de- knew that God sees us and loves us MINISTRY: humanizing.” It was the first time that the way that parents see and love their InterVarsity Christian Fellowship HEEDING GOD’S CALL a place had been made for me. It felt children; that God wants to give them at the Claremont Colleges Serving sacrificially in the big city like the grace of God. Previously, when the fullness of life and they can trust people found out I had a traditional Him with that. And of course that FAMILY: The bustling metropolis of Chicago— poor and outcast. Against all odds, she and Bible lessons. Her legacy can be understanding of marriage, I was an means change, because all of us need Married to Dave with three kids— choked by unemployment, flooded with made the Windy City her home, minis- summarized in the words she herself enemy. The conversation was incred- change so that we can grow up to be ages 9, 6, and 6 immigrants, and plagued by tenement tering there for more than 50 years and used to describe urban ministry in ible. It didn’t get mired in any political, more like Jesus. housing, unjust working conditions, becoming the first-ever female superin- 1904: “Few would ever get to God divisive issues. A lot of trust was built, EDUCATION: and dangerous vices—was not an easy tendent of a BIC mission. if there were no deeds of kindness and about five people started hanging How can we better love gay people? M.A. in Theology, Fuller Theological place to live in the late 19th century. Bert never married—not an easy scattered along their path by Christian around our Christian group. We will serve people well if, at Seminary Yet it was the city to which Sarah decision in an era when women had hearts and loving hands.” the same time we are talking about H. Bert—a pioneering BIC urban fewer legal rights and less financial How do you talk to your students this issue, we are working on ways of FAVORITE MOVIE: Devin C. Manzullo-Thomas is a church The Princess Bride missionary—moved in 1894, follow- security than men. And yet her single- historian who works at Messiah College, about sexuality? actively loving LGBTQ people both ing God’s call. Born in 1860, Bert was ness enabled her to more easily connect serves the BIC Historical Society, and I start off by having them agree to within and outside the Church. a frail, timid Kansas farmgirl who felt with the young urban women to whom attends the Grantham (Pa.) BIC Church four anchors—Christ at the center, FAVORITE BAND: with his wife, Katie, and son, Lucas. U2 the Spirit drawing her to work with the she ministered through sewing classes devinmzt.com God’s goodness, loving our neighbors,

4 IN PART INPART.ORG fall/winter 2015 5 HIGHER ULTURE WARS are not becoming for a people of peace. So when rainbows clash with black and white, it is not our first instinct to jump into the fray. But as our society Cfiercely debates the morality of love, sex, and marriage, neither is it helpful for us to stay silent. It’s time for us to talk—with God and each other—about our understanding of sexual- ity, how we’ve come to be where we are, and how Jesus wants us to live, love, and treat others.

FIRST THINGS FIRST love, and produces children. This, we believe, is God’s inten- tion for sex—but in a broken world, we see many expressions Let’s remember, we were sinners. But in Christ we are no of sexuality that fall short of what God designed. longer defiled and defined by sin; it’s been defeated. We have Sexual desire is powerful, and it is not always directed been reconciled to God and belong to Him, as well as to toward husband or wife. Sex is power, money, and status. It’s each other. We have a new identity—a new purpose—and a vehicle for dominance, marketing, entertainment, and self- RISING WITH as we walk in the light we experience God’s transforming realization. In short, our sexuality is warped. We may not all power to live a holy life. This is not from us or because of our have the same type of brokenness, but there is a hollowness in HUMILITY, GRACE, strength, but from God and in our weakness. Therefore, as every man’s and woman’s sexuality crying out for redemption. AND TRUTH IN we talk about sexuality—or anything else, for that matter— Which makes the life of Jesus so incredibly powerful. we need to speak with a heavy accent of humility and a rich Born with the same longings that we all inherit from our THE PURSUIT OF vocabulary of redemption, along with confidence that God’s parents, Jesus relied on God alone to fill and complete Him. SEXUAL HOLINESS power is at work among us. As we attempt to follow in His divine footsteps, we can As Brethren in Christ, we stand against hate and de- derive a great deal of comfort from the knowledge that Jesus humanization of any person. After all, every person bears became human like us—finite, fragile, and hungry—and the image of God. Yet, even if we feel we are personally God was always enough. And He is still enough. extending grace and love to all those around us, we must by Dulcimer come to terms with ways in which we, or the broader BUT WHAT DID JESUS SAY ABOUT SEX? Hope Brubaker, evangelical community, have failed to stand against the with Alan Robinson and Perry Engle dehumanization of gay people. People who, like us, bear In the Gospels, Jesus speaks about marriage, divorce, and the image of God. immorality. He affirms marriage using the foundational Brothers and sisters, any dehumanizing attitudes and statements of Genesis to describe gender and the sexual, responses must go. We might have to let go of some cultural spiritual union of a man and wife becoming one flesh. assumptions, too. There are no guarantees that the world When speaking of sexual immorality, He used the word around us is going to accept or affirm our perspectives; in porneia—referring categorically to any sexual activity out- fact, we’re assured that we will have trouble.1 But we are side of male-female marriage.4 This would be a clear word called to depart from the patterns of the world—pride, self- to His audience, who shared a long-established Jewish centeredness, and mockery—and “seek first his kingdom understanding of sexual sin. Jesus also describes sexual sin, and his righteousness.”2 along with all forms of immorality, as coming from within the heart—evil thoughts that defile. SEX IN THE KINGDOM In His sermon on the mount, Jesus taught an even nar- rower understanding of God-honoring sexuality than Jewish In the beginning, God created humans as sexual beings. Our law required: genders—male and female—each reflect different facets of “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not com- our Creator’s image, and He made men and women with mit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a the capacity for a relationship that has emotional, physical, woman lustfully has already committed adultery with sexual, and spiritual dimensions.3 In the context of the mar- her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble, riage relationship, sex binds two people together, expresses gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.”5 LOVE 1 John 16:33 2 Matthew 6:33 3 Genesis 1:27 4 Matthew 15:19 5 Matthew 5:27–29 fall/winter 2015 7 Rolling out this new code of ethics, Jesus goes beyond believe the moral and physical boundaries established at cre- God calls all of us to holiness and humility, especially as moral obligation, loyalty, and honor to expose our hearts ation still have authority; therefore, same-sex sex is outside we face the debate about sexuality. Christian anthropologist and our minds. This doesn’t sound like a teacher who’s Jesus goes beyond moral of God’s plan for humanity. Jenell Paris suggests that in the debate the Brethren in Christ broadening the definition of godly sex; it’s the exhortation So what about followers of Jesus who experience same- have a unique asset to bring to the table. “Within our tradi- of a teacher who’s raising the bar. sex attraction? Are they cut off from love and any prospect tion, we have tools for conflict transformation—processes of obligation to expose our of family? It depends on how narrowly you define love listening, processes of holding onto ourselves when emotions THE LEGACY OF THE LAW and family, but the Brethren in Christ understanding of heat up, and active listening. The question for us is, ‘How hearts and minds. This sexuality provides for two options—marriage between a can we take conflict not as a problem to do away with but By modern (and ancient) standards, the bar was already man and woman or celibate singleness—each an invitation as the context for our faith in this generation?’” pretty high. The law given to Moses, as recorded in to submission and freedom with an orientation toward Leviticus, states unequivocally that to have sex with a doesn’t sound like a teacher God. Let’s be clear: Married love is not the pinnacle of hu- A NEW CONVERSATION close relative, with someone else’s spouse, with someone man existence, nor is it a human right. We do not need sex, of the same sex, or with an animal is to defile oneself—the romance, or marriage in order to be fully human. To be sure, The debate about sexuality and marriage is fraught with pain opposite of sexual holiness.6 Because Jesus has atoned for who’s broadening the humanity is called to “be fruitful and multiply,”13 but we and all kinds of complexities that many of us would rather our sins, and because we do not live in the theocracy of would be foolish to ignore the positive role models we have avoid. But if we remain silent, we run the risk of being unfaith- ancient Israel, we no longer live by the judicial laws of the definition of godly sex; it’s in Jesus and Paul, who submitted their sexuality to God ful to Scripture and dishonoring our Creator. If holiness sings Old Testament—and, therefore, are not bound to carry through relational, intentional celibacy. Sider points out out in our actions and relationships, if our speech is soaked in out the severe punishments prescribed in Leviticus 20. that the traditional view of sex within marriage “demands humility and transparency, and if the Holy Spirit guides us, we Jesus’ blood covers our sins, but it does not shift the moral the exhortation of a teacher celibacy for vastly more people than just the relatively small can redeem this discussion and turn the current debate about boundaries God has put in place for humanity. Like any number with a same-sex orientation. Widows and widow- sexuality into true communication and understanding. loving parent, God has set guidelines for our own protec- ers, along with tens of millions of heterosexuals who long As we talk about these important issues, it doesn’t have tion, nurture, and well-being. who’s raising the bar. for marriage but cannot find a partner, are also called to to be about us and them or orientation or the laws of the Paul knew these guidelines well and insisted that the celibacy.”14 In light of this, perhaps the Church ought to put land. It can simply be a conversation about what it means to Early Church “flee from sexual immorality,” employing as much care into preparing people for celibacy as it invests follow Jesus with all of our being, including our sexuality. It the same broadly applicable word for “sexual immorality” in premarital counseling. will take patience. It will take earnest biblical interpretation, used by Jesus and extensively by the apostles and New compassionate listening, and submission to the Holy Spirit. Testament scriptures.7 Some writers call for a different A HIGHER CALLING We will experience disagreement with other believers and, interpretation of Paul’s letters, suggesting that Paul didn’t possibly, enmity from nonbelievers. But we owe God our really condemn gay sex;8 he was simply denouncing lust reserved for a man and woman in the context of marriage. It is important that we exhibit Christ-like humility in all of devotion in this matter, and we owe one another—as fellow and idolatry.9 But Paul’s letter to the Romans describes a Ron Sider writes, this. For decades, people living as lesbian, gay, transsexual, disciples—the dedication it takes to search Scripture and timeless human situation: Some believe that the track record of evangelicals is so bad and queer have gotten a pretty clear message from the listen to the Spirit together. As we humble ourselves, love For since the creation of the world God’s invisible quali- that we should just remain silent on this issue. But that Church: Their sexual desires are not O.K. But just because can cause us to rise in humility, grace, and truth. ties—his eternal power and divine nature—have been would mean abandoning our submission to what finally I one is married or celibate doesn’t mean one’s heart and mind Dulcimer Hope Brubaker is a member of Dillsburg (Pa.) BIC Church clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, believe is clear biblical teaching. It would mean forgetting are pure. In many ways there can be a temptation to hide and the guest editor of this issue of In Part. Married with three young so that people are without excuse. For although they the nearly unanimous teaching of Catholic, Orthodox, behind an appearance of holiness while misusing the gifts children, she deeply appreciates the opportunities writing projects knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave and Protestant Christians over two millennia. And it of Christian celibacy and marriage. give her to study Scripture, explore theology, and search her own soul. thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their would mean failing to listen to the vast majority of con- foolish hearts were darkened. . . . Therefore God gave temporary Christians (who now live in the global South).12 them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one BACK TO THE FUTURE another. . . . Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men The Christian Church in North America is no longer also abandoned natural relations with women and were unanimous in its view of marriage. In addition to the secular inflamed with lust for one another.10 celebration of same-sex marriage in our culture, some ener- Further, in his first letter to the Thessalonians, Paul getic voices declare that any mutual, monogamous relation- declares that “It is God’s will that you are sanctified; that ship can be pleasing to God, regardless of gender: From their you should avoid sexual immorality.”11 perspective, it’s all love, and surely God is for that. And, they For 2,000 years, this is what Christians in many dif- reason, He is glorified in mutual sacrifice and commitment,

ferent cultures and times have believed and taught: Sex is even in same-sex relationships. But we Brethren in Christ 6 Leviticus 18 12 “Tragedy, Tradition, and Opportunity 7 1 Corinthians 6:18 in the Homosexuality Debate,” 8 1 Corinthians 6:9 Christianity Today, November 18, 2014 9 matthewvines.com/transcript 13 Genesis 1:28 1 0 Romans 1:20–27 14 See 12 8 IN PART INPART.ORG 11 1 Thessalonians 4:3–8 fall/winter 2015 9 oug and Barb met when cannot think of a time where we have they were each serving been more fulfilled vocationally.” as single missionaries in While they depend on each other Doug and DGuatemala. With a shared sense of life for support, they also find support in SAYING Our relationships Barb Miller purpose—knowing Christ and making life through family, close friends, their help to shape us and affect Married 32 years Him known—they have journeyed missionary community, prayer part- our paths and the situations of our lives. through 32 years of marriage together. ners, and mission supporters. Barb and Global workers for the The opportunities we have in life are af- They understand vocation as the means Doug both share their individual joys Brethren in Christ Malawi fected by whether we are single, married, by which they pursue their lives’ pur- and challenges with a prayer partner. divorced, or widowed; and our personal pose, and their vocations have varied “As a single missionary it was easier connections may very well change the from school teacher, to missionary, to to concentrate on language learning courses of our lives. homemaker, to farmer’s hired man, to and to be free to spend more time with How we interact with our friends, pastor, to church planter, to salesman. local people because of not having I DO relatives, and significant others also They have raised five children on two family responsibilities,” Doug reflects. has spiritual significance—our human different continents and currently live “As a married couple we can relate to a relationships color and change the and minister among the Yawo people larger and more diverse group of people understanding we have of our relation- of Malawi. because of our complementary gifts, ship with God and are the means by “We definitely feel called to our cur- personalities, and backgrounds. As a TO GOD which we are conduits of God’s grace rent ministry through the affirmations married missionary it also helps some to the world. of Scripture, personal conviction, home local people to accept you, especially Exactly how God’s grace flows out church, and family,” says Doug. “We where singleness is not esteemed.” from us, however, varies according to How seven faithful our personalities, gifts, and whether believers live out their we are married or single. The many callings in singleness gifts and advantages of marriage are or Dorothy, life has been Although she never married, never and in marriage rightly celebrated in the Church, but in full of opportunity. Faith and had biological children, she has an 1 Corinthians, Paul also reminds us that vocation have always gone extensive family network. Several of her unmarried people experience joys and by Susan K. Getty hand in hand in her understanding, former students prefer to call her “Mom,” Dorothy benefits as well—including the oppor- F leading her to diverse teaching and and she considers the children and tunity to devote themselves more fully Gish leadership roles with Messiah College, grandchildren of a close friend to be her Single to following God’s lead in their lives the BIC U.S., and around the world. family as well. Looking at the richness (7:33–34b). Former dean of BIC Equipping for The Church is important to her, and of her personal relationships, she says, “I Our individual stories and relation- Ministry (retired in September she considers each job she has had as an very much believe that investing in other ships vary greatly, and yet we can see 2015), Mechanicsburg, Pa. opportunity to “reproduce herself ”— people comes back to you in your life.” just how creative God is in using each to pass along her values and gifts. Supportive small groups have played of our relational contexts in the unique An educator at heart and a gifted an important part in Dorothy’s spiritual callings He has given us. administrator, she has used those skills journey. Her connections include a Bible in a variety of positions. When find- study group, two book groups, and a ing herself at a career crossroads, she theological discussion group. Friend- looked to God for direction. Trusting ships with both men and women have God to lead, she says, “A door would been important to her, as she appreciates open, and I would just walk through it.” the perspectives of both genders. Her professional and personal life A recent health issue temporarily has been one of adventure. Had she made living by herself a little tricky. been married, she believes, she would But friends and neighbors stepped in not have been able to travel the world to help around the house, bringing as extensively as she has. A commit- food, flowers, and their company— ment to family would have made that proving that being single does not impossible. equal being alone.

fall/winter 2015 11 t may also be said that being understood God wanted her to live hile some pastors feel “Neither of us knew I was going to be married does not guarantee that and was blessed with a sense of call- an almost tangible pull a pastor!” Hank laughs. But Shell wasn’t Melissa one will not experience loneliness. ing to her position as administrator from God over the course fazed. Their relationship deepened, and Hank IMarriages can break down, and Melissa at Revolution Church. She feels she Wof many years, Hank had no such as it did, certain abstract truths became Bigbey experienced that twice—first in her has opportunities to use her abilities direction. But, he adds, “Just because incarnate in Hank’s experience. In Johnson Single, mother of two sons family of origin and then in her own and also grow in new directions there, I didn’t see it at the time doesn’t mean what could have been awkward as he Married 6 years Church administrator and separation and divorce. and she’s never felt more connected it wasn’t directed.” met Shell’s family for the first time, he Pastor of discipleship and ministry leader, Revolution “I never thought I had to have a vocationally with her passions and gifts A native of Liberia, West Africa, instead experienced immediate accep- youth ministries at Harris- Church (Salina, Kans.) husband to be happy,” she says. “How- than she does now. Hank moved to Harrisburg after gradu- tance. “It wasn’t anything I had earned; burg (Pa.) BIC Church ever, in my heart I don’t think there was Melissa’s experience of healing and ating from Messiah College in 2004 and they didn’t know anything about me. anything I wanted more than a whole, fulfillment as a single mom has enabled began attending Harrisburg BIC. It was It was literally because of Shell that I healthy family.” The pain of damaged her to live as a witness to other single there Hank met Shell, a Pennsylvania was made O.K. and able to enter into relationships, she says, “is what kept me women about having a deeply satisfy- Mennonite farm girl. They got to know the family. That crystallized the idea of going back to Jesus. ing relationship with Jesus. “For me, be- each other as they spent time together what Jesus did for me.” Since then, fam- “We are all going to be brought to ing single means I have more freedom,” with a large group of mutual friends. ily has taken on a broader meaning for a place where God has us alone with she says. “Not having to please anyone Hank says he’s always been flexible Hank, and the sense of being a part of Him at some point in our lives,” Me- but Jesus is awesome—sometimes scary regarding vocation and thinks the ques- the larger family of God has informed lissa continues. “That’s just the way life and intimidating, but awesome.” tions to ask when deciding about job the way he views ministry to all people. is. But for those of us who love Jesus, Looking to the future, Melissa opportunities are “How will I be able While he cherishes and protects his we are given perseverance and hope.” anticipates the possibility of more mis- to bring glory to God?” and “What time with Shell and their young daugh- In that hope, she experienced a sion opportunities. “The sky is the limit am I doing to further God’s kingdom?” ter, Harper, he remembers that all those renewed commitment to live as she when you’re growing in Christ!” Being a pastor, he admits, “wasn’t he ministers to are truly his family. even on my radar.” But since he loves “The idea is that we’re supposed to the Church and was passionate about bless others—whether single, married, youth ministry, when a position on the widowed, or divorced,” Hank reflects on pastoral staff at his church opened, he his years of serving God, first single and applied. And he was hired. now married. “We are in this together!” abe had worked for 17 be aware that this was God’s desire for years in the secular work- them as well as me.” place in a position he both Time has proven that their com- Gabe and Gexcelled at and loved when he sensed munication with the Lord and with God calling him into full-time Chris- each other did indeed lead the family Rosemary Couples like the Valencias and single people like Dorothy Gish are deeply grateful tian service. He turned to his family to to a fulfilling life of Christian min- Valencia for the Church—both as a place of freedom and healing to bring some of the chal- confirm this direction. “When I shared istry. All five of their children have Married 34 years lenges they face as married or single people, as well as a place to live out the callings with Rosemary that the Lord spoke to worked alongside Rosemary and Co-directors of Mile High Pines God has given them. me and what He said, she responded Gabe at Mile High Pines Camp. But Camp (Angelus Oaks, Calif.) But their stories also confirm the need to trulyknow one another; to seek by saying jokingly, ‘It’s about time,’ it hasn’t always been easy; Gabe and understanding by asking one another about our joys and difficulties, rather than because that had been her prayer for Rosemary have felt the challenge making assumptions based on relationship status. Only then can we truly share the me for years.” faced by all married people deeply journey of a life of faith with one another. This husband-and-wife team under- involved in ministry. “Ministry can “Marriage has confirmed to us the goodness and love of God in bringing us stood that a change to camp ministry sometimes become or at least feel as together as compatible and complementary life partners,” say Doug and Barb was not just about them. “We shared though it gets the majority of your Miller. “But we also saw our time as singles as a gift, a time to grow in our relation- with our children what the scope of the time, energy, and commitment,” Gabe ships with the Lord, as the One who meets our deepest needs perfectly. We think move and transition would look like warns. “This means that the marriage it’s important to understand that each individual, single or married, is of infinite and asked them to pray to discern if may take a back seat. This is, of course, worth and significance to God.” God’s message was any different than unhealthy. We should never sacrifice what He’d been saying to their mom our first ministry, our marriage, for Susan K. Getty is a freelance writer and artist who also works part time in the admissions office at Messiah College (Mechanicsburg, Pa.). She and her husband have been married for 28 wonderful Photos for this story are courtesy of: and I. We wanted them to agree and our vocation.” years, and three years that were more challenging. They live in Dillsburg, Pa., and have two adult sons they love hanging out with. Paul Emberger for Dorothy Gish Cory Keller for Melissa Bigbey Muriel Kratz for Hank Johnson

12 IN PART INPART.ORG fall/winter 2015 13 IN PART BY THE NUMBERS TO THE POINT

THE AMERICAN EXPERIENCE

Most of us have at least a vague sense that American values and lifestyles Following Jesus Christ means we choose to repent of sin as defined in have shifted dramatically over the past few decades. But what does this really What challenges God’s word, turn to Christ for forgiveness and salvation, and make Jesus Lord look like? From various national surveys, here is a glimpse into the present-day and opportunities of our life. Sometimes it’s difficult to [do that] in the area of sexuality if one American experience of marriage and sexuality—by the numbers. do you see in lead- hasn’t dealt with and healed from deeper wounds. I have to help some indi- viduals make sense of the internal chaos before they can come to terms with ing disciples of the truth of God’s word and how He designed sexuality. Jesus to follow Him —Deb Wiles, Rock Island BIC Church (Herington, Kans.) with their whole Everyone is hungry for life in Christ. Some are acutely aware of this; some IN being, including misread or misuse their innate desire. In pursuing these opportunities, we may 1 3 sexuality? face a hindrance we are reticent to admit—that our spiritual parenting has re- sembled the confusion and coddling of our society’s parenting style. Jesus both American marriages exuded spiritual health and effectively diagnosed and treated spiritual sickness. ends in divorce. The fullness of His grace and truth is undiluted and radically transforming. BARNA.ORG the average age at first This is reflected in the tenor of the apostles and New Testament church as we see in Scripture. If we examine and test ourselves, we should know if we pass sexual 60 Percent the test. Fulfilling our privilege of witnessing to the world and discipling in the intercourse of Americans CDC.GOV church, through the Holy Spirit’s power, we have much to offer. support same- —Nathan Stonge, Dillsburg (Pa.) BIC Church sex marriage. GALLUP.COM I personally think this is an exciting time for us because we get to become 3.4%of U.S. adults leaders in grace. Practically, we have the opportunity to move from fear to identify as lesbian, 27 grace by not participating in social media when people anxiously combat the gay, bisexual, or women side they disagree with. In wisdom, we look for what God is doing and for 4 of 5 opportunities to reorient our lives to love, serve, and bless those who think transgender. American 29 GALLUP.COM differently than us. Finally, we should be sensitive to avoid tired phrases like adults marry at men “love the sinner, but hate the sin” that unintentionally communicate fear, least once in not grace. We need to find helpful ways to frame our approach to this issue their lives. ~90%of 15- to 44-year-olds the median while remaining faithful to our historic understanding of Christian marriage BARNA.ORG who are or have been ages for a first and sexuality. married have had marriage PEWRESEARCH.ORG —Jon Hand, BIC Canada premarital sex. CDC.GOV A great challenge in conversations of sexuality is that we often assume that each person has the same starting point, which isn’t true. If we’re actually making disciples, people with a variety of experiences and understandings will be joining us. And we must help each person ask, “How does living in God’s kingdom change the way I understand everything?” If we are indeed trusting the Spirit for transformation, then the Spirit will indeed bring discernment, conviction, and direction. Then, as God’s people, we are able to help one another move toward a Christ-like sexual ethic. —Keith Miller, LifePath Church (Newark, Del.)

14 IN PART INPART.ORG fall/winter 2015 15 IN PART POINTS OF VIEW sharing perspectives on a challenging issue PARTING WORDS

SHOULD THE CHURCH PERFORM ‘LEGAL’ MARRIAGES? IMAGINING A CHURCH As same-sex marriage has become legal in many states—and now, in response to FULL OF GRACE AND TRUTH the U.S. Supreme Court ruling on Obergefell v. Hodges—some evangelicals have Lessons from conversations on homosexuality, begun to advocate that clergy members should stop signing marriage certificates. But does it really matter? Two pastors weigh in. the Gospel, and the BIC Church I believe that it by Perry Engle We are God’s representatives, not the state’s. Let’s not miss this opportunity to engage with is possible to be a To begin this discussion, one needs to look at the phrase our post-Christian culture. Is it really possible to be a church realize that it is impossible for me to “legal marriage.” The term “legal” indicates the necessity When I sign a marriage license, the state makes no presump- modeled after Jesus, who came to us separate my truth-telling from my church that is both of following a law, which came about through a legislative tion that I operate as its agent. The actual agent of the state from the Father “full of grace and truth” grace-giving. Yes, the grace-and-truth process. This means that a definition of marriage is requ- is the County Clerk, who must be satisfied that the legal ob- (John 1:14)? Since May, BIC national balance is extremely hard to achieve, welcoming and ired—a definition that has been at the heart of the marriage ligations for a marriage are met. My privilege is to celebrate director Alan Robinson and I have but I’ve found it easier as I’ve embraced debate since the beginning. and solemnize the marriage with the couple through rituals been imagining this high calling for it as a reflection of who Jesus is, and not discipling towards all If one looks at the underlying reasons for the establish- ancient and postmodern. the Church as we’ve facilitated the BIC just a part of my own agenda. ment of Christian marriage, we are confronted with the In my home state, “clergy” of any religious background— Impact Seminar, “Full of Grace and I’ve come to accept that it is pos- kinds of people—even God-given purpose of the creation of children and the along with judges, ship’s captains, etc.—are permitted to Truth: Homosexuality, the Gospel, and sible for spiritually sincere people to needed roles of father and mother in the growth and solemnize a wedding. I always retain the option not to the BIC Church.” struggle with sexual identity while still those with same-sex maturity of these children. participate in a solemnization of marriage where I, or the From the beginning, I knew it would seeking to follow Jesus. Early on in this One must also consider the marriage covenant. This is Brethren in Christ Church, have fundamental questions. be a challenge to communicate how to discussion, I couldn’t help but think attraction. an agreement between God and the man and woman who The effort to redefine civil marriage in the U.S. has received hold to the truth of the Gospel while of Paul and his thorn in the flesh as an are entering into a sacred partnership with God. Oaths and legal sanction, and we ought to respond by focusing on the showing grace to people who struggle example of one who truly desired to promises are proclaimed before God and other witnesses, pastoral effort of communicating more clearly the meanings with same-sex attraction. Here are a few be “healed” of his malady (whatever who are to hold these two individuals accountable for of marriage within a biblical framework. things I’ve learned along the way. it was), but who was resigned to live discipling their declarations to God and to each other. Witnesses Thus, the so-called “Marriage Pledge,” in which clergy First, I’ve come to recognize that with his condition. Although I know towards all kinds are required for that specific purpose. vow not to sign marriage licenses, seems to me to be an art- the issue of same-sex attraction touches that through Christ we can be restored of people—even A marriage becomes “legal” when individuals meet the ful dodge—a way to pretend the complex realities of post- more people than I ever realized. Over from anything that holds us back in those with same-sex criteria, per the state. The Church has agreed to be the offici- Christendom do not exist in the U.S., and a way to avoid the past six months, I’ve had parents life (physical, emotional, or spiritual), attraction. Redemption is a ant, representing the state in ensuring the requirements are meaningful engagement with couples regarding the truth approach me seeking counsel for a child Paul’s testimony shows that sometimes messy business, and the truth is met. But for Christians, this is not the point of marriage. and grace of marriage in a Christian context. that has “come out” to them as gay; a full healing doesn’t take place, and that that we have all fallen short of the I believe that church should be the place where vows and Would I prefer my state to further separate the act of mother ask me if it’s O.K. for her and her ultimately God’s grace must be suf- glory of God and are in need of His grace commitments to one another are pledged before witnesses, marriage into a contract of civil union and a separate, op- husband to attend her daughter’s same- ficient for us (2 Cor. 12:7–10). and forgiveness (Rom. 3:23–24). The regardless of the legal implications, and result in a covenant tional, religious solemnization? Yes. But I do not believe the sex wedding; and grandparents who I have also come to realize that it Church should be the place where people between God, a man, and a woman. This kind of marriage Marriage Pledge helps us make such a helpful, clear separa- have shown me pictures of a grandchild is perfectly acceptable for me to be a are introduced to a Jesus who meets them ceremony would be just that: a ceremony outside the legal tion of church and state. On the contrary, I believe it accepts who is transitioning to the opposite gen- friend to someone I don’t agree with. I where they are, but never leaves them the bounds of the state’s definition. Therefore, my belief is that the premise that in some instances, clergy ought rightfully der. All have been difficult conversations am growing in my ability to respond to same once they encounter Him. the Church should seriously consider removing itself as the to be agents of the state—a position for which I am unable fraught with pain. But every person has those around me as people, and not as For me, this is the wonderful good representative of the state and instead be God’s representa- to find biblical justification. expressed immense gratitude for being projects. I have become more comfort- news of what it means to be a church tive in the establishment of the covenant of marriage. able to talk about these issues. able letting individuals know that I see full of grace and truth. I’ve come to feel secure advocat- them as much more than just a “gay per- Joe Laher is pastor of Christian Union Brethren in Christ Church Jeff Wright is pastor of Madison Street Church in Riverside, Calif. ing for a traditional view of marriage son,” and that I will refuse to accept their in Garrett, Ind. Perry Engle serves as bishop of the and sexuality while at the same time sexuality as the sum of their identity. Midwest and Pacific Conferences of the BIC U.S. He and his wife, Marta, and their extending God’s grace to those with Finally, I believe that it is possible to family live in Ontario, Calif. same-sex attraction. I’ve come to be a church that is both welcoming and

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