The Vampires of By Christina Harlin, your Fearless Young Orphan What We Do in the Shadows (2014) Directed by ,

Four vampires, of ages from 8000 to a mere 180 years, share a flat in Wellington, New Zealand. They are the willing subjects of a documentary being filmed by the New Zealand Film Board, which is meant to get an “inside” look into the lives of the Wellington undead, culminating in the annual Masquerade Ball. We are assured that the filmmakers have been given full permission, plus crucifixes to wear, and they are welcomed into the flat to observe the extraordinary existence of these vampire roommates.

Petyr, the oldest, is a silent and deadly Nosferatu, who is kept quietly in the basement and does not attend flat meetings. You have to watch out for Petyr. He bites! Also, he’s way more likely to produce vampire offspring; he doesn’t understand the troublesome economics involved.

Next is Vladislav, a very ragged “16-year-old” back from the times when 16 was probably the life expectancy of most men – and what a history he has! He used to be known as Vlad the Poker, because his preferred method of torture was poking people with things. Of course, things just haven’t been the same since his legendary battle with his arch-nemesis, the Beast.

Third eldest is Viago, who serves as the major narrator for the documentary; as the neatest, prissiest member of the group. He seems to be the self-elected house president. Decades ago he came to New Zealand to follow his true love but through a mishandling of the mail, it took 18 months for his coffin to arrive, and by then, she had married someone else. His is a bittersweet existence now: sometimes he spends his nights gazing up at her window, where she, an elderly shut-in, watches television. Meanwhile, he can’t keep the other vampires in the house following the chore wheel and Deacon hasn’t done the dishes in months.

Deacon is the youngest of their group, only 180 . . .well, anyway, he was the youngest, until Petyr brings Nick into the fold. Nick ruins everything! Not only does he wear the same jacket as Deacon but he also runs around telling everyone that he’s a vampire – and you’re not supposed to do that. At least Nick’s human friend Stu is really cool. Stu is so cool, in fact, that everybody in the house promises not to eat him. Deacon also has a familiar, Jackie, a wry housewife who has been promised immortality if she serves him (i.e., does his laundry – so many frilly shirts!-mows the lawn, etc) but Deacon has been putting her off for a while and she’s getting impatient. After all, she’s not getting any younger.

Telling you about it can’t really do the film justice. I could write down scene by scene what happens, but it would never give you a good picture of the sheer pleasure in watching something that is both this clever and this full of heart. This mockumentary of vampire life acclimated to Wellington has a few laugh-out-loud moments, but more importantly, I had a smile on my face the entire time I watched. There’s never a point when it isn’t an endearing or amusing (or both) tale of oddballs trying to make their way in the modern world, and if that sounds trite, forgive me. Any triteness inherent in the idea is obliterated by the fact that our subjects are, indeed, vampires, who engage regularly in the murder of victims in such a matter-of-fact manner that they hardly register that they might be doing something shocking. Some of what they do is plenty shocking, let me tell ya, and pretty hilarious too. Pitiful human men could never look this cool.

The major story arc is that of Nick, the new guy, interfering with what has become routine for the flatmates. Nick is in love with being a vampire, at first – he can fly! Plus, he brings along Stu – Stu is awesome! Deacon is knitting a scarf for Stu, that’s how awesome Stu is. Nick brings the modern age into the flat, along with the help of Stu, who works in IT and sets them all up on Facebook and eBay. Nick can get them into the cool clubs, too. (It’s very hard to get into clubs when one must be invited before entering a place). But despite all the good he does, Nick fails to understand a few basic important things. One of these is that vampires are only fictionally cool. If certain people found out vampires were real, there could be trouble – vampire hunters, cops, groupies – or even worse, Stu could be put in danger! Oh and let’s not forget those darned werewolves, skulking about out there in their scruffy jackets and their snide comments about “Count Fagula,” like, hey, that’s not even funny. Of course you can anticipate the joke ahead of time, or at least the biggest joke, which is that these vampires aren’t nearly as cool and scary as they think they are, and when it comes right down to the nuts and bolts of living, they have the same problems most of us do. What you might not anticipate is what happens between the lines. If you know your vampire lore, the in-jokes are a continuous stream. You need not be a scholar, but a few films under your belt will certainly help. Also, don’t expect What We Do in the Shadows to telegraph to you the moments that should make you laugh. Everything happens deadpan. Realizing that it’s hilarious and charming, well, that’s entirely up to you.

This rating might surprise you, but I’m giving What We Do in the Shadows 10/10 Fangs. It’s a terrific, jolly comedy that understands vampire legend, lore and loopholes with surprising intelligence and wit. Within a mere 90 minutes just about every vampire trope is grabbed and shaken apart without really disrespecting any of it. But even more than that, it’s a sentimental film, about love and friendship of all things. Oh, and blood-sucking murder. That too.