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Copyright by Sasha Marie Vliet 2011 Copyright by Sasha Marie Vliet 2011 The Dissertation Committee for Sasha Marie Vliet Certifies that this is the approved version of the following dissertation: Swerve: A Memoir of Identity in Three American High Schools Committee: Mark C. Smith, Supervisor Elizabeth Engelhardt Cary Cordova Lori K. Holleran Steiker Laura Furman Swerve: A Memoir of Identity in Three American High Schools by Sasha Marie Vliet, B.A.; M.A. Dissertation Presented to the Faculty of the Graduate School of The University of Texas at Austin in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree of Doctor of Philosophy The University of Texas at Austin December 2011 Dedication For Sebastian Acknowledgements This project is one upon which I embarked when I first became a teacher just after college. I have been both a student and a teacher for all these years and recognize that much of the valuable learning that has come to me came by way of the many students I have known. The nine students I have written about in this dissertation were students who stood out to me when I began to contemplate the processes of identity formation and the role of alcohol and drug use within the particular community of the American classroom. And yet, there are hundreds of students who did not appear in this work who will be forever in my memory and who helped me to become the teacher and writer I am today. In addition to the gratitude I send to them, I am grateful for the input and guidance of several remarkable educators. Without Mark Smith I would most likely still be spinning my wheels. Many thanks to Mark for his unwavering support, his humor, and his ability to encourage even when he must have had his concerns and doubts about my schedule, my relocations, and my own reconsiderations of the project. Needless to say, if I had attempted to find footing on my own without Mark’s thoughtful input I might still be lost in the woods of Connecticut. Laura Furman is a dear friend and an outstanding mentor who reminded me over the years to keep my eye on the prize and to write from my heart. On numerous occasions, as both teacher and friend, Laura reminded me to trust that along the way the subconscious mind and the conscious mind will meet up, and when they do, great things can happen. Lori Holleran Steiker, Cary Cordova, and Elizabeth Engelhardt were readers with a keen attention to detail and to the larger scope of the project. I couldn’t have asked for more focused and appropriate input. Ella Schwartz, the graduate program coordinator for the Department of American Studies at v the University of Texas, has been a kind and patient information provider, answer giver, and miracle worker. My family members and close friends are some of the most extraordinary teachers I have known. Marni and Richard Vliet provided me with a childhood of exploration and confidence and have been wise parents and partners in my journey to reach this place. To them, I give love and gratitude. Mary Louise Tasheff has been a cheerleader, life teacher and grandmother extraordinaire and is the model for any of us who have plans to be graceful and generous as we contribute and explore. Whitney and Mike Ward are the lightness and humor that have helped me to see beyond stress and overload and I would be remiss without their smiles and support. Jackson, Cooper and Georgia Ward have reminded me, since their births, to listen carefully and watch always. Bob and Cynthia Lawrence offer, at all times, their understanding and acceptance and I am appreciative of their generosity of time and unwavering attention to Sebastian. Matthew Lawrence, as he has always been, is the quintessence of constancy, loyalty, and devotion to an idea or plan. And despite my own twisting and turning during the process of forming this idea and realizing this end, he continues to contribute to the course of this project as a dedicated friend, partner in exploration, and co-parent. Ian Eagleson and the Eagleson family have offered to me a respite from the routines of everyday life with their celebration of food and friendship and have encouraged me to remember often my own dedication to humorous and genuine exchange and to appreciate the levity and mirth that is at the heart of lifelong regard. Thank you to Victoria Hill for being a friend in the department and through the steps we took to find the other side of graduate school. Deysi Alvarez and Ghizlane Malti have given, repeatedly, the most extraordinary of gifts: a true connection with and respect for my own child. Without their generosity of time and commitment to his wellbeing I could not have met this challenge. And finally, and again, vi to my Sebastian who showers me with love, laughter, and devotion in ways that are at once so basic and yet so incredible. Roo, this is for you. vii Swerve: A Memoir of Identity in Three American High Schools Sasha Marie Vliet, Ph.D. The University of Texas at Austin, 2011 Supervisor: Mark C. Smith This dissertation is an ethnographic study of nine different students in three American public high schools, their experimentation with alcohol and drugs, and their respective processes of identity formation. While much work has been done to establish the relevant and various paths towards finding identity in the American adolescent and in the fields of American education, public schooling, and youth culture, this work attempts to offer a specific presentation of what the path towards finding identity looks like in the American classroom for students who also experiment with alcohol and drugs. The nine students are presented in this work via three different category types of identity formations: Creativity Through Chemical, Charisma Through Chemical, and Challenge Through Chemical. The presentation of the students is ethnographic in nature given the various strengths and attributes of the ethnographic approach. The classroom is a valuable location for establishing a unique perspective on adolescent self-expression, a place where students’ projections and the perceptions of others are intertwined. What students experience in the classroom as a group and individually is a meaningful element to their evolving identities. This work establishes the significance of these experiences in conjunction with the students’ experimentation with alcohol and drugs. Adolescence, as viii a period for young people of identifying with group culture and as an individual while differentiating between right and wrong is a significant developmental phase. This work acknowledges the communities in which these students are engaged, their respective high school communities, the relevant details of each classroom, and explicates the details of their processes of identity formation for these nine students within the context of their classroom cultures. ix Table of Contents Introduction ................................................................................................................... 1 Blue Ace .......................................................................................................................... 4 Swerve ............................................................................................................................ 8 Esteem .......................................................................................................................... 10 Classroom as Location ................................................................................................ 23 Experimentation .......................................................................................................... 28 Presentation of the Communities, Schools and Classrooms .................................... 43 Dorchester, Massachusetts ......................................................................................... 45 East Austin, Texas ....................................................................................................... 63 Processes of Identity .................................................................................................. 128 Creative Through Chemical ..................................................................................... 130 Lander ........................................................................................................................ 133 Nando .......................................................................................................................... 153 Dori ............................................................................................................................. 159 Charisma Through Chemical ................................................................................... 167 Davi ............................................................................................................................. 173 Rico ............................................................................................................................. 182 Emma .......................................................................................................................... 188 Challenge Through Chemical .................................................................................. 196 Kadija ......................................................................................................................... 202 Neni ............................................................................................................................. 212 Sean ............................................................................................................................
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