Cold Open:

Whiskey!

Today’s suck is SOAKED in whiskey.

Mostly - in Jameson - some Irish whiskey.

A great drink for some fun times, kicking back, and enjoying the tastes of one of the best exports the Emerald Isle has to offer.

Also a popular drink, in my experience, for people to torture you with by buying you shot after shot until you’re spinning and puking in the parking lot.

Talking about Jameson will lead us, obviously, into talking about ….. cannibalism.

Yup.

John Jameson - the founder of Jameson - was originally a lawyer from Alloa [ah low uh] in Scotland before he founded his distillery in Dublin in 1780. In 1805, he was joined by his son John Jameson II who took over the family business. For the next 41 years, John Jameson Jr. built up the business before handing over to his son John Jameson the 3rd in 1851.

They were killing it.

By the turn of the 19th century, Jameson’s distilleries were the second largest producer in Ireland and one of the largest in the world, producing 1,000,000 gallons annually. Dublin at the time was the center of world whiskey production. It was the second most popular spirit in the world after rum and internationally Jameson had, by 1805, become the world's number one whiskey.

And then, almost a century later, at the end 19th century, the Jameson name would get tarnished a wee bit when reports came back from the Congo that John’s great-grandson James S. Jameson paid to watch a young girl be killed and eaten.

Cannibalism.

Not a great PR moment. Hard to build a successful ad campaign around cannibalism.

What the Hell happened in the Congo?

We’ll look into it that today.

And before we look into that, we’ll look into how whiskey came about, and how alcohol itself came about, in today’s how did I spend so much time drinking alcohol all these years but know so little about it, why the Hell are we also talking about cannibalism edition, of Timesuck.

PAUSE TIMESUCK INTRO

I. Welcome!

A.Happy Monday:

Happy Monday and Happy May Meatsacks! Holy SHIT it is already May. Working of five months of separation between the present and the Twilight Zone that was 2020.

Welcome back to the Cult of the Curious. Recorded this in advance of the Q Anon Suck releasing and can only imagine the handful of furious emails, Youtube slander, and one star ratings I have to look forward to online.

I’m sure many will think I’ve gone to the left while I still find myself in the middle. I like some stuff on the right, like some stuff on the left, and hate a lot of stuff on both sides as well.

I like to a la carte my politics, and not just order some meal that comes with a bunch of side dishes I don’t care for.

I’m Dan Cummins, The Suck Master, Whiskey lover, cannibalism opponent, Lucifina deep tissue massager, and you are listening to Timesuck.

Hail Nimrod, Lucifina, Triple M and Bojangles. The God, The temptress, the bard, and the canine mascot of the Suck verse.

Recording per usual in the Suck Dungeon out of Couer d’Alene, Idaho which feels like the pollen capital of the world right now.

Why do blooming trees have to hurt so much Mother Nature? Why are you trying to kill me with beauty?

B.Tour Dates?: Got a bunch of standup comedy dates booked for the Fall and for all of next year.

Looking forward and nervous as Hell to see if I remember how to do what I’ve done most of my adult life.

Will have some dates posted on dancummins.tv soon. For right now - you can go to the following venues websites for August through October dates.

Calling the new standup tour the Symphony of Insanity. Has to do with some material I was working on before Covid changed the world. And it just feels right. Everything feels more insane than it used to.

Aug 13 & 14 I’ll be at Hilarities in Cleveland.

Aug 19: Laugh Out Loud Comedy Club – San Antonio

Aug 20: The Secret Group – Houston

Aug 21: Texas Theatre – Dallas

August 26-28: Helium - Portland

September 9-11: Punchline – Philadelphia

September 24-25: Funny Bone – Columbus

Oct 8-9: Cobb’s – San Francisco

Oct 15-17: Spokane Comedy Club – Spokane

Oct 22-23: Improv – Kansas City

C.Merch: Super different kind of item now in the store at bad magic merch dot com. A rug! 2’x3' , 3'x5', and 4'x6'

Each color represents a piece of each of the podcasts. Timesuck, Scared to Death, Is we Dumb, and The Secretsuck are all represented by each individual stripe.

You can step into spring by stepping on some suck.

D.Additional Announcements: I should have May Bad Magic Productions charity info next month. Just a bit early recording wise to have it today.

And that’s it for announcements.

E.Segue to Topic:

Now…. let’s get fucked up. Or at least learn about how humans started getting fucked up, and the fucked up cannibalism incident that for awhile tarnished the Jameson whiskey name.

PAUSE TIMESUCK INTERLUDE

II.Intro/Establish Premiss:

The Space Lizards have spoken!

Our Patreon supporters, who vote on and choose two topics a month, picked a weird one this month. The dark history of Jameson Whiskey.

And it’s a great choice!

HOWEVER - it is the topic with the least information out there about it thus far out of any topic we’ve looked into. Other than my Papa Ward, of course.

There aren’t a lot of details about an heir to the Jameson whiskey fortune paying for an African girl to be eaten in the 19th century. The details that are out there - we will share them today.

But if we ONLY shared them, this would be about a ten minute episode.

SO - to lead up to this incident, we will learn a little about Jameson Whiskey came to be, the top selling brand of Irish Whiskey in the world by far.

In 2017, Jameson sold some 6.6 million cases of Irish whiskey. The second best-selling brand? Tullamore Drew, who sold 1.2 million cases— just a third of what Jameson sold.

And that doesn’t even account for Jameson’s cultural clout— to many consumers around the globe, Jameson is Irish whiskey, and Irish whiskey is Jameson.

Jameson’s Irish whiskey is thought of as an essential part of Ireland’s history— right up there with the poetry of W.B. Yeats and Seamus Heaney, the prose of James Joyce, and the songs of U2.

And Enya. Never forget Enya. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTrk4X9ACtw Start at :53. Stop at :59

What’s the Celtic elf up to these days? Probably meditating under a waterfall right now. Or teaching some elves or fairies yoga. Probably just got engaged to a centaur [ sen-tawr ].

Back to Irish whiskey.

In Gaelic, whiskey translates to "water of life.” www.asylum.com/2010/04/02/bushmills-master-distiller-colum-egan- matches-wits-talks-whiskey-with-asy/

I have bought a LOT of Jameson whiskey myself over the years.

It’s not that expensive and I think it’s pretty damn smooth. Good bang for the buck!

If you’re not gonna drink it neat - with no ice and no mixers - don’t waste your money on far more expensive brands. If you’re making a whiskey ginger, my most frequent drink, you’re probably not gonna taste much difference between Macallan 18 - which costs around $250 a handle, and Jameson, which costs around $50 a handle.

Save your money, meatsacks!

Today we’ll meet the founder of Jameson. Learn a little about Irish Whiskey’s beginnings.

And before diving into Jameson history, we’ll learn about how alcohol in general came to be - I think this is the more interesting part of this suck.

We’ll learn about how whiskey evolved out of beer. What is whiskey? What different kinds are there? What is the difference between scotch and bourbon?

What do fermentation and distillation have to do with hard liquor production?

So much to learn!

Let’s get started.

III. HISTORY OF HUMAN ALCOHOL USE

How the Hell did we humans figure out how to get drunk in the first place?

The history of alcohol is tied to the history of bread.

Fire was the first great invention when it came to cooking. The second?

A fungus that played a very, very large roll in the development of human civilization.

Yeast.

Leaven that bread! Make it RISSSSEE UP! And yeast that juice into some wine!

So where does yeast come from?

Well - get ready to gag…

You’re not gonna like where this is gonna go. Don’t shoot the messenger…

Like humans of today, early humans used to get yeast infections… I’m sure you’ve either had one or heard of it. Most commonly, meatsacks got them in their vaginas or next to or behind their ball sack.

Yeast fungi found naturally on the skin would start growing out of control and cause an infection.

Archaeologists and anthropologists surmise that early humans liked the smell and taste of the yeast from these infections… and they’d rub the oily, gritty special sauce a yeast infection makes on bread, or maybe on some fruit, to give it a little extra kick. Throw a little zest on it as utterly disturbing as that sounds.

And then… sometimes…. whatever they rubbed it on, like some apples, would get wet and rot a bit and the yeast would grow further, and, as a byproduct of feeding it’s little fungus-self, the yeast infection would convert the fruit’s sucrose sugar into a very crude form of alcohol.

And that early alcohol would got early humans drunk.

Still will do the trick.

Even today, in a lot of prisons, guys will make what they call “twine” - thought to come from “taint wine” by putting some grapes behind or off to the sides of their balls when they have a yeast infection and let it ferment a bit before adding it to a bottle of soggy bread to give it a bit of a beer flavor. Then, you mix that with some water. In a cell, often with - gag again - toilet water.

Similarly, a lot of female inmates will brew up what’s known as, hilariously, “puss-cider”, or more commonly - “hooch” - by sticking apple slices into their front-butts and letting it stew in a yeast infection and then pulling out the infection-goop and soaking that in some grape juice.

SHOWBIZ!!!!! DEEEEEE-LISH!

Sorry.

Extra apologies if you just threw up all over yourself.

I went off the rails a bit after bringing up yeast. The history of bread and alcohol are NOT tied to yeast INFECTIONS.

BUT - they are tied to yeast.

There are many types of yeast and they’re all fungi [fuhng-gahy ].

And these little fungi [fuhng-gahy ] yeasts are all over the place - in your vagina and on and around your balls, for sure - BUT ALSO in many other places. Various types of yeast are naturally found floating in the air and on just about every surface on Earth, including every opened piece of cheese in your fridge - where, if you don’t eat it fast enough, they will multiply and form small cream-colored colonies - YUMMY!

Sweet little yeasts are also found on grape skins.

And said grapes can start to ferment if the temperature and moisture around them is right - if they’ve been left sitting around long enough.

And THAT is probably how the first wines got going. Some ancient meat sack was trying to make some fruit juice, or maybe they were just really, really hungry and willing to eat to some overly ripe mushed grapes… and then they tasted something a little funky.

And then they kept eating because they were so damn hungry.

And then they start feeling a little different. They got buzzed. And they LIKED it. And later, they wanted to get buzzed again. And they fucked around with ripe grapes until they felt that feeling again. And then they started experimenting. Found out if you mushed those grapes just right, left their juice out long enough under the right conditions, you consistently got that buzz. Drink too much and your head spun, and you threw up, and you felt like shit the next day. Drink a little less and maybe you didn’t get sick, but… your judgement was a little different. You fucked someone you always knew you were attracted to but you couldn’t stand their personality. Hail Lucifina! Drink a little more than that and maybe you fucked someone whose personality you didn’t like or were never attracted to, but, they suddenly looked a lot better. Easy Lucifina! What are you doing?

Maybe you drink enough to finally decide, you know what - fuck Chad. And you bop him in the head with a club. You’ve always wanted to but you used to be afraid of him beating your ass. But now, you suddenly feel especially courageous.

That’s alcohol babeeee!

Helping people have a great time and make terrible choices since whoever first drank that funky-tasting, fermented grape juice. All thanks to yeast!

A.FERMENTATION:

Yeasts are great at making bread, beer, and wine because they are good at harvesting energy from sugar without oxygen, a process called fermentation.

When harvesting energy, yeast produce two pretty awesome waste by-products: they shit carbon dioxide, which puts the lift in leavened bread and the bubbles in beer; and they piss alcohol called ethanol, which adds interesting but well-known properties to wine and beer, but evaporates in the bread oven which is why going to town on a bunch of loafs might still give you that carb-fueled beer gut, but it won’t fuck you up.

Fermentation is a strange and magical controlled form of spoilage.

During fermentation, the yeast feeding on wheat, barley, grapes, whatever, will produce many different enticing flavors not originally found in the wheat, barley, or grapes, as anyone can attest who's been intoxicated by the smell of fresh yeast bread, or appreciated how a glass of fine wine differs from some grape juice. https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/artful-amoeba/yeast-making- food-great-for-5000-years-but-what-exactly-is-it/ https://www.arenaflowers.com/blogs/news/history-of-wine

Why grapes, wheat, and barely? Why did those foods specifically become alcohol?

Those were commonly grown and harvested ancient foods that contained the kind of carbs yeast like to eat. They were foods left out in the right conditions for fermentation to occur.

Same with rice in the East. Same with potatoes in many parts of the world. You can ferment all sorts of stuff and make alcohol.

The ancient Mesopotamians and Sumerians, the world’s earliest civilizations, were brewing early forms of beer and wine as early as 10,000 BCE.

In Babylonia, clay tablets with a recipe for beer were found, from approximately the year 6,000 BCE - the first documented evidence of beer making.

Can you guess what that recipe relied on? Yep. A butthole Yeast Infection.

Kidding.

That’s horrific.

No - this recipe utilized under-baked bread made from germinated barley.

Being under-baked, the bread serves as a live yeast culture and when the bread is cut into small pieces and placed in a large jug with water, malt is produced.

The pre-inoculated malt when left out will ferment to give you beer. Terrible beer. But still beer.

This shit sounds about as tasty as that Taint Wine nonsense or that prison hooch jibber jabber I made up earlier, but it got the job done.

Soon, some ancient micro-brewing hipsters figured out how to flavor that shit up.

They’d mix in some dates, herbs and honey for taste.

What they didn’t include was hops - that wouldn’t be included until centuries later.

Hops - which all modern beer has - hops give what we call beer it’s beer flavor - and hops are the flowers or cones from a plant called Humulus lupulus.

Hops also help to keep beer fresher for longer; they also help beer retain its head of foam—a key component of a beer's aroma and flavor; and, of course, they add that “hoppy” aroma, flavor, and bitterness.

https://www.allagash.com/blog/beer-fundamentals-what-are-hops/

Other cultures around the world not familiar with grapes or barley were finding other food to ferment into some happy juice, as I mentioned earlier.

In ancient China, rice was used to make a rice beer and in pre- Columbian civilizations in the Americas, corn was used instead of barley.

And, probably at first without knowing it was important and then refined part of the secret recipe, ancient South American peoples added their own enzyme to break down corn starch by first chewing the corn before placing it in a fermentation tank. The saliva from their mouths served as the enzyme in the process of starch conversion to sugar and gave their beer a vastly improved and distinct flavor.

Beautiful little accidents, occurring here and there over many, many generations, have given us so many great things.

In rural areas of Russia, kvass [kuh voss] was made by adding pieces of stale, black bread to malt, flour, sugar and water, and allowing this mixture to ferment.

This resulted in some kind of fucked up, Russian, black-bread-gruel- beer that likely tasted somewhere between rotten assholes and toe jam but was drank anyway because, well, because Russians may be the toughest people on Earth with the most “Fuck it” in them.

https://www.nature.com/scitable/topicpage/yeast-fermentation-and- the-making-of-beer-14372813/

So how did all this lead to whiskey?

B.Distillation: Unlike beer and wine, spirits require a second step after fermentation: distillation.

Fermentation can happen by accident - wild yeast can easily stumble upon some rotted fruit and ferment the sugars into alcohol.

But distilling - that requires intention.

Whiskey is a dark distilled spirit made from a variety of grains, including barley, corn, rye, and wheat. It’s distilled throughout the world, most popularly in Ireland, Scotland, the United States, Canada, and Japan.

There are various styles of whiskey and some countries have regulations that stipulate how it’s produced. Whether it's Irish whiskey, scotch, bourbon, or Canadian whisky, it's one of the most popular liquors in the world, used in numerous cocktail recipes or simply served straight.

Surprisingly, at least to me, drinkers in India consume the most whiskey, though the country's own whiskey is rarely exported.

Whiskey was originally used as a medicine, both as an internal anesthetic and an external antibiotic.

It’s a relatively recent discovery in terms of distilling - meat sacks have been distilling things for a long, long time, beginning around 2000 BCE when an early form of distillation was founded in ancient Mesopotamia - the modern day equivalent is an area covering parts of Iraq and Syria - where it was used as a way to produce perfumes and aromatics.

Around 100 CE, humans first recorded information about their distilling process.

Distilling has a strange history.

We meatsacks made it to distilling through alchemy - that mystical precursor to modern chemical engineering - that strange art where ancient scientists mistook science for magic and tried to do shit like turn lead into gold.

There had been prior evidence of crudely distilled alcoholic beverages, liquors made from things like rice and mare’s milk in Asia as far back as 800 BCE.

Fermented mare’s milk. Mmmmm!! kumis [koo miss]! We were introduced to that fine Mongolian cocktail in the Genghis Kahn suck.

Still haven’t tried it. Still think it sounds disgusting. d

Evidence of distilling knowledge soon found its way to Ancient Greece sometime prior to the first century CE.

Writings in the 4th century CE attributed the development of a three- armed pot still to a woman cited in ancient sources as “Maria the Jewess,” the first documented Western alchemist. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_the_Jewess

She connected two hollow vessels with a tube.

Liquid would have been heated in the first vessel to create aromatic vapors in a roundish container, cooled, and then diverted through a tube to a second vessel, or a receiver, where, as it cooled, it returned to liquid form.

But no one, as far as we know, was applying that process to fermented grapes or barley to get extra fucked up with yet.

Centuries later, in the the 8th century CE, an Arabic alchemist, Abu Musa Jabir ibn Hayyan designed the alembic [uh-lem-bik ]pot still, a contraption that allowed for the effective distillation of alcohol.

But still, no one was playing drinking games and throwing back whiskey shots yet.

Jabir wasn’t interested in getting fucked up. He was driven by science.

Even when fellow alchemist Muhammed ibn Zakaryia Razi began refined the practice of distilling alcohol in the 9th century, it STILL wasn’t to get drunk.

Distilled alcohol was used primarily for ritual and medicine.

The first documented use of distilled alcohol in Europe, where meat sacks would first start drinking whiskey, comes from Italy in the 12th century - from the Medical School of Salerno.

The Italians. Maybe the first to use the distill to get fucked up.

In Salerno in the 12th century, the journey of hard liquor begins in the West. The earliest instructions for the distilling of alcohol from wine that we know of appear in a short introduction to the study of medicine written around 1150 by a not well-known “Master of Salerno.”

But distilling and mass producing hard liquor still wouldn’t come about for hundreds of years.

The first published book devoted to the subject, The Virtuous Art of Distilling, penned by the unfortunately named Hieronymus Brunschwig wouldn’t show up for another 350 years - published in 1500, and it still treats distilled alcohol like medicine.

But, a few historical references illustrate that “aqua vitae” - an early, euphemistic nickname for booze - Latin for “water of life - was being imbibed and enjoyed for at least a century by this point.

We’ve been enjoying some form of hard liquor for recreational use for at least six hundred years.

Shots! Shots! Shots!

Hard liquor - not just beer, wine, and Mike’s Hard Lemonade - had found a recreational audience.

Did I mention that Mike’s Hard Lemonade was first made BEFORE whiskey back in 1413 by Sissy-Britches Von Lightweight?

It wasn’t. https://abarabove.com/history-of-the-shot-glass/ https://vinepair.com/spirits-101/history-of-distilling/ https://www.gotrum.com/the-rum-university/rum-in-history/the- origins-of-alcoholic-distillation-in-the-west-4-the-medical-school-of- solerno/

Before moving to the origin of whiskey specifically, a little more about the alcohol distillation process.

Distillation is the process by which a liquid is heated to create a vapor and then condensed back into a liquid again.

The basic concept of distilling alcohol is pretty simple: making a harder alcohol from a lower alcohol base.

Going back to yeast - as yeast eat up sugars to make beer, wine, etc, they create alcohol and CO2 as waste products.

We went over that. We did NOT go over the fact that the more alcohol and CO2 they create, the less sugar there is for them to feed on. And at a certain point - somewhere between 14 to 18% alcohol by volume - the alcohol levels become toxic for the yeast.

So to create anything substantially “hard,” - to get a much higher ABV level - you have to physically separate alcohol from water using evaporation and condensation - aka distilling.

Because alcohol has a lower boiling point than water, 173 F vs. 212 F, distillers can evaporate the alcohol (mostly) by itself, collect the vapors into a tube, and then use colder temperatures to force the alcohol to condense back into liquid form.

And, without getting too alcohol nerdy, you can then distill the alcohol again - a double distillation to remove a few impurities that make it through the first distillation, and then sometimes yet AGAIN - triple distilled - to get out more impurities.

Triple distillation is strongly associated with Irish whiskey and a smoother flavor.

Jameson’s Whiskey is triple distilled.

Triple distillation helps to concentrate not only the alcohol, but also produces lighter, more fruity flavors: the heavier, more water-soluble compounds are left behind at every stage.

And there is a lot more nuance to it than that - a LOT more - ask any whiskey nerd and clear your schedule so you have time for the answer. There is a whole craft to distilling just like there is a craft to brewing beer.

I could go even more in depth but I don’t think anyone is coming to Timesuck to learn how to ACTUALLY make Irish whiskey. I’m not qualified to lay that out. I can just wrap my head around and explain the basics.

I think we all have gotten the general gist of how liquor is made. It doesn’t come from yeast infections but it does come from yeast, and them from heating an alcoholic liquid into a vapor and then cooling that vapor into a stronger, more pure form of alcohol than when you started.

We’ll go over a bit more when I lay out how different types of whiskey are made in just a bit.

https://www.eater.com/2016/1/4/10672224/distilling-how-does-it- work https://vinepair.com/spirits-101/how-distilling-works/

Right now, let’s back up to almost a thousand years ago to bring the distillation process to Ireland.

C.Irish Whiskey History and Terminology: Distilling techniques were brought to Ireland and Scotland sometime between 1100 and 1300 CE by monks.

Of course they were.

These sad motherfuckers had taken vows of, essentially, unhappiness where they weren’t supposed to fuck, or try and accrue wealth, or tell dirty jokes, or sometimes even speak.

More than almost anyone, I’m guessing they really wanted to get drunk to take the edge off.

Speculating here but I feel like I’m not entirely wrong.

Since wine wasn’t easy to come by in Ireland and Scotland - not as a lot of vineyards back then, but there was plenty of barley, barley beer was made. And when distillation came around, it was distilled into whiskey. https://www.irishcentral.com/roots/history/how-monks-brought- whiskey-to-ireland

The early distillation process was rough - the whiskey wasn’t allowed to age, which meant it tasted way worse than today's versions.

It was super potent too. Really put some hair on your chest. Over time, they figured out how to smooth it out. They wanted to drink something that didn’t make you squint your eyes after you threw a swig back and bang the table, “HOLY FUCK that burns! Mother Mary, Joseph and Sweet Baby Jesus it burns all the way down to my BALLS!”

The first written record of ‘whisky’ appears in the Irish Annals of Clonmacnoise [claw-mick noise] - which covered events in Ireland from pre-history to 1408 - where is was written that the head of a clan died after “taking a surfeit [excessive amount] of aqua vitae” at Christmas.

Fuck yeah he did. Drunk dad went out with a bang that Christmas.

(Drunk) “You don’t TELL ME how much to DRINK! I can HANDLE IT! I can drink a whole ‘nother BOTTLE and not yet BEGIN to defile myself. Give it HERE! Glug, glug, glug, dead.”

Whiskey would be produced pretty much exclusively by monks at monasteries until around 1541.

Then, the production of whiskey would shift to the general public after King Henry VIII of England dissolved the monasteries, making a large number of monks independent and looking for new ways to make a living.

And a lot of those pious monks became well-to-do whiskey makers. I love it.

Whiskey - it all started in the church! Monks dicking around trying to figure out how to make their beer stronger.

Soon, these former monks taught their trade to the sons they now could openly have and to others. Like some whiskey-loving folks living in Bushmills.

With a license to distill Irish whiskey dating all the way back to 1608, the Old Bushmills Distillery in Northern Ireland is the oldest licensed whiskey distillery in the world.

After the English Malt Tax of 1725 greatly increased the price of alcohol to help pay for a war against France, most of Scotland's distillation went underground. Scotch whiskey was hidden under altars, in coffins - NOICE! - and in any available space to avoid government supervision and taxes.

Scottish distillers, operating out of homemade stills, took to distilling whisky at night when the darkness hid the smoke from the stills. For this reason, the drink became known as moonshine. Fun fact.

At one point, it was estimated that over half of Scotland's whiskey output was illegal. Lots of moonshine - lots of lower-your- inhibitions-sex-juice being brewed under the cover of darkness! Hail Lucifina!

Across the Atlantic, whiskey was now being used as currency during the American Revolution. George Washington actually operated a large distillery at Mount Vernon. In 1799, George Washington's distillery produced nearly 11,000 gallons, making it one of the largest whiskey distilleries in America.

Drugs! Drugs! Drugs!

America loves drugs. And alcohol is for sure a drug. https://www.mountvernon.org/the-estate-gardens/distillery/

Given the distances and primitive transportation network of colonial America, many farmers often found it easier and more profitable to convert corn to whiskey and transport it to market in that form. Still a lot of corn being used in bourbon. More on that in a bit.

In 1823, the UK passed the Excise Act allowed legal distillation for for a small fee - and this put a practical end to the large-scale production of Scottish moonshine.

Fast-forwarding ahead to the prohibition era in the US, from 1920 to 1933, all alcohol sales were banned in the country.

The federal government made an exemption for whiskey prescribed by a doctor and sold through licensed pharmacies. During that time, the Walgreens pharmacy chain grew from 20 retail stores to almost 400.

Haha! Whiskey helped build Walgreens into a massive chain. What a weird fact. https://www.bottleneckmgmt.com/blog/whiskey-history-timeline/

So how was a lot of this whiskey being made?

Whiskey starts out just the same as beer with a mash of grains— commonly barley, corn, rye, or wheat. Some, as in the case of barley, may also be malted. Malted Barley is just barley that has been allowed to germinate by soaking the grain in water. This prepares the starches to be converted into fermentable sugars. https://www.thespruceeats.com/what-is-malted-barley-beer- brewing-353281

The grains are mixed with water and yeast for fermentation. Then the beer is run through a still—either a pot still or continuous column still — once, twice, thrice - or sometimes even more than three times.

The still is what turns what would be beer into whiskey.

Almost all whiskey is then barrel-aged for at least a few years - to be classified as whiskey in America- it HAS to be barreled for at least two years - and this aging gives whiskey its distinct golden color, as well as it’s wood and oak flavors. It picks up flavors and colors from the wood.

The longer whiskey is aged, typically, it gets darker.

The sharp alcohol taste mellows out a little over time as well so you’re not just drinking shit that tastes like gasoline.

Once matured, whisky is diluted with some water and bottled at a minimum of 40% ABV.

Some barrel-strength whiskeys, if they’re not diluted, may reach 140 proof, which is 70% alcohol, which is NOT smooth.

Anything above 100 proof is flammable. 140 proof isn’t just gonna put hair on your chest. It’s gonna put it on, then burn it off, then slap you the fuck out of whatever chair you’re trying to sit in ‘cause you can’t stand up. https://www.thespruceeats.com/history-of-whisky-1807685

Now that we know a BIT about whiskey’s history, before we go into the Jameson’s journey with whiskey, let’s learn a bit about what kind of different kinds of whiskey are out there.

Let’s become whiskey connoisseurs. Or, at least, let’s not be whiskey idiots.

IV.Whiskey Knowledge:

Perhaps you’ve been to a bar that proudly displays a whiskey wall – with dozens or even hundreds of bottles stacked up, a glowing collage of magic amber and brown elixirs.

And like me, you pick the one that looks the coolest to you, or has the best name because you can’t remember what’s supposed to be good other than the same three whiskeys you’ve been drinking for over a decade.

Maybe you ask the bartender, what do you recommend?

And then he or she goes on and on about how well this one or that one is aged and what notes it has, and what it was barrel-aged IN, how it was a wine cask or some shit, and how a few drops of water really bring out it’s full-bodied flavor with light vanilla notes and cherry accents or whatever and you say, “That sounds great! haven’t tried that one,” and you have no fucking IDEA what they've been talking about, and you know - before ever drinking a drink, no matter what it actually tastes like - you’re going to sip it, then look him right in the eye and say some version of, “Oh yeah, I totally see what you mean when you… and then you repeat some shit he said because you don’t want this stranger to think you’re an idiot - and then you say thanks and walk away having no clue how what you’re drinking is any different than any of the other whiskeys - other than it seems to be the most expensive.

Whiskey can be, I think, a bit intimidating.

So where does one start their whiskey journey?

With a bottle of old crowe. Pay attention.

You can get a fifth - 750 ml - of Old Crowe for nine bucks if you go to the right store. And there’s roughly 17 shots of the whiskey equivalent of lawnmower gasoline in that son of a bitch.

Old Crowe bourbon is best drank in a ditch. Since you’re probably gonna end up blacking out and passing out in a ditch, it’s best to just start there.

When it comes to a proper food pairing, Old Crowe seems to go down best with some Slim Jim pepperoni and cheese sticks or freezer-burnt Ham and Cheese hot pockets. Nothing too fresh. Anything without lots of preservatives or a hint of spoilage really throws off the Old Crowe flavor profile. Gas station bean and cheese burritos that have been sitting on an unwashed grill for at least two weeks also taste really good with some Old Crowe.

Old Crowe is aged for a minimum of two minutes in barrels that raccoons, skunks, and possums have been shitting in for years. Most old crowe is barreled with at least one squirrel carcass as well. That’s what sometimes gives it a decay aftertaste.

Its initial taste has been described as like being punched in the mouth by a young Mike Tyson if he had just taken his fist out of the old woman from Throw Momma from the Train’s butthole.

It’s finish has been described as somewhere between “less then smooth” and “I can’t see anything! Oh GOD! My eyes don’t work. (yelling) WHY DON’T MY EYES WORK!?! I’M SCARED MAMA!! WHY AM I SURROUNDED BY DEMONS!?!”

The BEST way to drink Old Crowe is dump the contents of the entire bottle out on the ground - ground probably near a dumpster or an alley - then throw the bottle as far as you can, cry a bit, and reevaluate your entire life.

Don’t drink Old Crowe.

Not even if you’re underage and desperate just to get drunk. No matter what the peer pressure is - just wait until you have a few more dollars. Donate a bit more plasma.

Respect yourself.

Let’s really learn about some whiskeys now.

There are only three main differences between whiskeys: where they’re made, what they’re made from, and most importantly, what they taste like.

Ideally, they do NOT taste like Mike Tyson’s knuckles covered in old butthole.

Depending on whom you ask, there are between 5 and 7 different main regions where whiskey is distilled.

The five regional whiskeys always included are: Scotch Whisky, Irish Whiskey, Kentucky Bourbon, Canadian Whiskey, and Tennessee Whiskey.

Japanese whiskey has also gotten really popular so we’ll mention that. And New Zealand and Australia and other countries are making whiskey. But thus far - traditionally - Scotland, Ireland, America, and Japan are the big players.

Let’s start with the U.S.

A. American Whiskey: There are tons of different kinds of whiskey from right here in the States, roughly - but not always - divided by the region they come from.

Whiskey that's made in the United States uses at least 51% corn, is aged in first-use charred white oak barrels, then bottled between 80 and 160 proof.

1.Bourbon: Bourbon is America’s most prominent contribution to the world of whiskey.

Bourbon accounts for two-thirds of US distilled spirit export and is a tidy billion-dollar industry.

For a whiskey to be properly labeled as a bourbon, most “purists” will tell you it has to come from Kentucky. Others will say it simply must be American. The technical truth is that it can come from anywhere in America, BUT - it must come from America.

America loves bourbon.

Congress has officially recognized bourbon as America’s Native Spirit. Even the United States Senate has chimed in, declaring September as National Bourbon Heritage Month.

Bourbon, by US law, in addition to having to be made in the US, it also has to be made up of at least 51 percent corn mash, aged in new charred oak barrels.

The other 49% is usually a mixture of barley, rye, or wheat.

It also has to be at least 80 proof, but not more than 160 proof.

To be considered straight bourbon, it must be aged for at least two years – other bourbons are aged for as little as three months.

Straight bourbon also can’t contain any added colors, flavors, or other spirits.

Blended bourbon, on the other hand, can contain all of that, as long as it’s at least 51 percent straight bourbon.

As with all whiskeys, it’s really hard to say it tastes like this because so much variety exists between distillers.

The main characteristics, however, are sweetness and smoke.

The sweet comes from corn - sweet, SWEET high fructose, candy- making corn sugar - the most sugary of sugary whiskey ingredients.

The smokiness comes from the fact that to make bourbon you have to pay an old man with no teeth, squinty eyes, and a rap sheet that includes time for moonshine distillation who goes by either pappy, slappy, or skeeter to chain smoke unfiltered, hand-rolled cigarettes in front of a bourbon barrel no less than eight hours a day.

And of course that’s not true. The smokiness comes from the legally-mandated aging time in charred oak barrels.

Where bourbon came from is a fact lost to history.

It was born out of a variety of immigrants to the US who found themselves needing to do something with the plentiful crop of corn in the New World.

Scots, Irish, and other Europeans but mostly Scots and Irish who settled and farmed the American South during the late 1700s and early 1800s brought knowledge of distilling with them from the old countries.

They started making whiskey using old-world techniques and new world, corn-based mash.

Some of these early entrepreneurs were Jacob Beam, Elijah Craig, and Evan Williams.

Bourbon was probably either named for Bourbon County, Kentucky - where some say a Baptist preacher/American hero first made the stuff - or Bourbon Street in New Orleans – the whiskey that was shipped down the Mississippi enjoyed a boom in NOLA as an alternative to French cognac [cone yak]. Cognac [cone yak] brandy made from the Cognac [cone yak] region of France.

And brandy is a distilled spirit that can be made from a variety of fruit but mainly from grapes - its name comes from a Dutch term for "burned wine.”

Both Bourbon Street and Bourbon county take their names from the House of Bourbon, a European royal house of French origin.

Did you know that Justin Bieber is descended from the House of Bourbon? He’s not.

Did you know that Dog the Bounty Hunter is descended from the House of Bourbon? He’s not either.

But King Henry the 4th of France was. So was King Louis the 14th and King Louis the 15th. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_Bourbon https://www.thespruceeats.com/all-about-brandy-760698

Back to bourbon.

The first advertisement for bourbon that we know of was printed in the Western Citizen Newspaper in Paris, Kentucky, in 1821.

Did you know that Paris Kentucky is the home of the the Dan Cummins Car Dealership?

True. Not related to a discussion of whiskey but he has the same name and he’s the reason I have dancummins dot tv for a website instead of dancummins dot com. It’s annoyed me for well over a decade. They sell Dodges, Chevies, and Buicks mainly, and not Fords, which is unfortunate.

And they have a radio jingle that has haunted my dreams for years.

Here. Have a listen. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWcxAoTpd5A Play from beginning to :30 ish

You’re welcome.

They currently have multiple variations of the new Silverados and a lifetime powertrain warranty if you’re interested.

Right there in Paris, Kentucky. The REAL Paris!

Yip, yip, yaw!

Two years later after Bourbon first appeared in that Paris newspaper, in 1823, Dr. James C. Crow - YES, of Old Crow infamy - developed what is known as sour mash at the Pepper Distillery - now the Woodford Reserve Distillery.

There - that new sour mash method of recycling some yeast for the next fermentation revolutionized the way most bourbons and Tennessee whiskeys have been produced since.

The Samuels family claims the title of the oldest bourbon family still going strong.

T.W. Samuels - grandson of Robert Samuels who created the "secret" family recipe - came along and constructed a distillery at Samuels Depot, Kentucky that the family made a business of bourbon.

In 1844 T. W. turned his father's little farm distillery in Deatsville, Kentucky into a large commercial operation. It was called the T. W. Samuels & Son Distillery.

In 1943, Bill Samuels Sr. burned that famous family recipe.

Literally.

He was really done with it. Seems extreme. Seems like he also didn’t think about valuable collectibles can be, like the original bourbon recipe from the family that would go on to make Maker’s Mark.

That’s what Bill Sr. crafted. Maker’s Mark. A bourbon without the bitterness.

The company is now in the hands of his son, Bill Samuels Jr., who continues the family bourbon tradition today.

https://www.thespruceeats.com/bourbon-history-timeline-760176

2.Tennessee Whiskey: Next up, we have Tennessee whiskey.

Tennessee whiskey is straight bourbon that's made in Tennessee with an extra filtering process— so, basically…. bourbon.

Tennessee whiskey distillers don’t identify it as bourbon - CAUSE FUCK KENTUCKY! THEY AIN’T BETTER! THEY AIN’T BETTER THAN US! - I know I’m from Idaho but in this unnecessary vignette I am now from Tennessee. Stay with me! - I see you’re Louisville and I raise you NASHVILLE! Tennessee Vegas motherfucker! Mic drop! Sure, you got bluegrass! But we are THE VOLUNTEER STATE… which, damn it, sounded a LOT cooler in my head than when I just said that shit out loud. Bad example. Moving on.”

I have no idea why Tennessee whiskey distillers don’t identify it as bourbon since it has all the same hallmarks of bourbon -– the corn, the oak– are all in there.

That said, there is an extra process that Tennessee whiskey undergoes called the “Lincoln County Process”.

It’s essentially a charcoal filtering technique born out of Lincoln County, Tennessee.

It filters impurities and jumpstarts the aging process.

Some say that any tasting differences between regular bourbon and Tennessee whiskey are due more to differences in the mash makeup.

Mash being the mix of grains used to make bourbon. The shit other than corn which is mostly rye and wheat.

Mmmm. Rye. Love a good rye bread and love a good rye whiskey. All this whiskey learning is making me want to pick up another bottle of Bulleit rye whiskey.

Bulleit - NOT an old recipe. First distilled in 1987.

Big-time Tennessee whiskey distillers Jack Daniels and George Dickel use very little rye in their mash, less than most bourbon distillers.

Dickel Whiskey. That’s good stuff. Who doesn’t like tossing some Dickel into the back of their throat? You get it. You knew I couldn’t just move on from that name like a rational, mature grown up.

Filtering process or no, that's gonna majorly affect the taste of the finished product compared to a mash that uses more rye.

Let’s talk more about rye whiskey now.

3.American Rye Whiskey: American rye whiskey is next on America’s whiskey list.

This is whiskey that meets all the same requirements as bourbon, but with 51% rye instead of corn.

Pretty simple.

It’s had a resurgence in popularity recently because it’s fucking DELICIOUS.

Lots of contemporary spirit critics are singing the merits of this particularly spicy bourbon cousin. And legendary rye enthusiast and Mad Men character Don Draper helped popularize a good rye whiskey.

Before Prohibition, rye was America’s boozy go-to. It was easy to produce - like we said, George Washington himself made rye whiskey at Mount Vernon.

Rye whiskey was historically the prevalent whiskey in the northeastern states, especially Pennsylvania and Maryland.

Pittsburg, Pennsylvania, was the center of rye whiskey production in the late 1700s and early 1800s. By 1808, Allegheny County, Pennsylvania farmers were selling a half barrel for each man, woman and child in the country.

The US was making millions of gallons of the stuff— and then the dark days of Prohibition happened.

Wah Wah.

It took Rye whiskey a long, long time after prohibition ended to really recover.

It’s a harder sell to some than bourbon because it replaces the sweetness of corn with the fiery spice of rye.

Similar rules to bourbon govern American rye: it has to be at least 51 percent rye, at least 80 proof but not more than 160 proof, and aged in new charred oak barrels.

Straight rye has to be aged for at least two years.

Canadian whiskey is often referred to as "rye whiskey" because historically much of the content was from rye.

But to be labeled “Canadian rye whiskey”, a spirit can contain as little as, I guess zero percent actual rye, so the distinction doesn't really mean anything other than it’s whiskey made in Canada—at least according to several sources we found.

Lots of famous American cocktails traditionally use rye whiskey— the Manhattan, the Old-Fashioned, the Sazerac are all classics based on rye.

Sazerac - the cocktail of New Orleans! Rye whiskey, absinthe, a sugar cube, and Peychaud's [pay shodes] Bitters.

Peychaud's [pay shodes] Bitters was originally created by an apothecary in New Orleans in the early 1800s. First made as medicine! Has a bit of licorice-y medicinal taste. A lot of different kinds of alcohol were once prescribed as medicine by someone.

4. White Whiskey and Moonshine: Rounding off the Western hemisphere’s contribution to the world of whiskey, it’s worth mentioning the considerable market of white whiskeys and so- called moonshines.

Yip, yip, yaw!

You know what goes well with moonshine? An air banjo jamboree.

“Moonshine, moonshine, for my soul it’s sunshine” (plink and pluck)

“Moonshine, moonshine, not too much or I’ll go blind (plink plank)

“Moonshine, moonshine, hits like a liquid land mine (plink plank)

“Moonshine, moonshine, long term use can sometimes even lead to lead-poisoning because of the poor equipment it’s distilled in and you generally just drink it to get drunk and if you’re just drinking too get drunk you’re probably running from your problems instead of facing them and due to the rural impoverished areas where moonshine is made you’re probably dealing with multi-generational poverty and that cycle is damn hard to break out of and moonshine helps in the short term but makes thing much worse in the long term because it never solves your problems it just keeps you from facing them which then makes them grow worse over time which makes you want to drink more to escape them which leads to all kinds of health problems and terrible decisions which make the likelihood you’ll solve you’re problems somewhere between “not gonna happen” and “highly fucking doubt it” - so (sad) moonshine moonshine you’re fucking killing me. YOU’RE KILLING ME! (pause) (plink plank)

Whoa. Sorry.

That little moonshine, hillbilly ditty got way too real and sad towards the end.

Seriously now, what makes up the market of white whiskeys and so-called moonshines.

Well, if it’s in a store with a label and a barcode, it’s actually not moonshine.

According to the Oxford English Dictionary, moonshine is defined as “whiskey or other strong alcoholic drinks made and sold illegally.”

With that definition, it may be confusing to walk into liquor stores - or Costco - and find booze labeled as moonshine. I’ve bought some Idaho moonshine at the liquor right down the street on East Sherman here in CDA.

Not gonna lie - not my favorite whiskey. Not real smooth.

You can call a whiskey “moonshine” without it being officially “classified” as whiskey. Just like you sell a candy bar called crack that doesn’t have any crack in it.

Crack candy. What a money maker that would be.

Interestingly, there are literally no rules to designate a certain liquor as “moonshine” except for the fact that it’s made illegally with no taxes, licenses, or other trappings of the organized liquor trade— so moonshine doesn’t have to have any ingredients in common or use a certain barrel or whatever.

Like vodka, it can be made from anything fermentable: fruit, sugar, grain - even milk. Like vodka, there’s no upper limit on its alcohol content. Unless you want to describe it as white whiskey on the label, you can make it any way you please.

The term moonshine has been around since the late 15th century, but it was first used to refer to liquor in the 18th century in England.

America, particularly the Appalachian region, has a rich history of moonshining that shaped the economy, culture, and identity of the thirsty hamlets where it boomed.

If you ever have the opportunity to sample local under-the-radar wares, do so at your own risk.

I did once. Many years ago on your with Larry the Cable Guy. Of course I was with the Cable Guy when I had some moonshine.

Someone gave his tour manager some real, backwoods distilled moonshine and he gave me a shot and holy shit that burned.

Liquid FIRE!

If your’e familiar with moonshine, you’re probably familiar with tales of people drinking it and going blind.

Stories of people drinking bad moonshine and going blind aren’t totally unfounded – that’s fun.

Methanol, otherwise known as methyl alcohol or wood alcohol, is found in tiny amounts in good whiskey, and there can be a lot in cheap, not properly made whiskey, and it can damage the optic nerve and even kill you in high concentrations.

But it’s rare.

Also - there have been health risks associated with moon shine. Sometimes purveyors fashioned stills out of whatever was handy, like a car radiator. In addition to a corn or wheat base you’d get notes of lead and antifreeze. Because it’s not regulated at all - you can end up drinking shit that’s closer to paint thinner than it is to good whiskey.

Here’s some interesting moonshine-related trivia - don’t confuse moonshiners with bootleggers.

Moonshiners make the liquor - bootleggers smuggle it.

The term bootlegger refers to the habit of hiding flasks in the boot tops around the 1880s, but with the introduction of cars, it came to mean anyone who smuggled booze.

Mechanics quickly found ways to soup up engines and modify cars to hide and transport as much moonshine as possible.

Suddenly I’m hearing the Dukes of Hazard theme song in my head.

In running from the law, these whiskey runners acquired some serious driving skills. And on their off days, they’d race against each other, a pastime that would eventually become NASCAR.

How interesting is that?

Bootlegging moonshine is closely linked to NASCAR. A moonshiner gave seed money for NASCAR to its founder Bill France. https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/71993/brief-history- moonshine#:~:text=The%20term%20moonshine%20has%20been ,and%20other%20grain%2Dproducing%20states.

Now “White whiskey” on the other hand, is just any whiskey that hasn’t been aged. It’s essentially a raw, unfinished product on its way to becoming grown-up whiskey— but distilleries have turned to white whiskey in recent years to compete with clear alcohol like vodka, which dominates that market.

White whiskey is what you’re seeing most of the time in stores that call it moonshine, sold by brands that use the moonshine label as a gimmicky sales tactic.

These whiskeys typically have a strong corn or grain flavor and aren’t as smoky or mellow as their brown, aged cousins.

B.Scotch Whiskey: Now on to Scotch whiskey, which is…. You guessed it…

Whiskey made in Scotland!

Ding, ding, ding!

It’s also whiskey made with water, malted barley plus other whole grains, yeast, caramel coloring… and nothing else. Them be the rules. Commercial distilleries in Scotland began introducing whisky made from wheat and rye in the late 18th century.

Its aged at least three years in oak casks, and bottled at 80 proof or higher.

Any age statement on a bottle of Scotch whisky must reflect the age of the youngest whisky used to produce that product. A whisky with an age statement is known as guaranteed-age whisky. A whisky without an age statement is known as a no age statement (NAS) whisky, the only guarantee being that all whisky contained in that bottle is at least three years old.

Another important distinction with Scotch Whiskey is that the Scots traditionally omit the “e” in their spelling of whisky.

As of 2018, there were 133 Scotch whisky distilleries operating in Scotland.

Even more so than bourbon, it’s hard to talk about Scotch as a single entity.

Making Scotch whisky is an old science— the first written record of it comes from back in 1494. From some of those distill loving drunk monks!

This was that record:

“To Friar John Cor, by order of the King, to make aqua vitae, VIII bolls of malt. — Exchequer [ex cheh kr] Rolls of Scotland, 1 June 1494.”

The Exchequer [ex cheh kr] Rolls were records of royal income and expenditure and the quote records eight bolls of malt given to Friar John Cor to make aqua vitae over the previous year.

A boll is the rounded seed capsule of certain plants by the way.

Scotch whisky grew very popular in that region— it was a favorite beverage of King James IV of Scotland.

There are five major regions of Scotland that produce the stuff, all of which have distinct flavors.

There are two basic types of Scotch whisky, from which all blends are made:

Single malt Scotch must have been distilled at a single distillery using a pot still distillation process and made from a mash of malted barley.

Single grain Scotch whisky is a Scotch whisky distilled at a single distillery but, in addition to water and malted barley, may involve whole grains of other malted or un-malted cereals. https://www.bespokepost.com/the-post/the-distinctive-flavors-of- scotlands-five-Scotch-regions

All of these distilleries produce differently flavored Scotch whiskeys— but there are a few commonalities.

The Scotch flavor profile is a little more challenging than that of a typical bourbon, but it could also be said to be more complex, especially when you start cataloging differences between single and blended malts, single casks, and grains.

Overall, you can expect a lot of smokiness and something the whiskey nerds call "peatiness."

You want some serious peatiness, get a bottle of Lagavulin.

A single malt scotch our Art Warlock Logan Keith gave me as a gift - preferred whiskey of Ron Swanson from Parks and Rec.

And that shit has some SERIOUS flavor. REAL smokey. I love it - but not for everyone. It’s the only thing I drink where Lynze doesn’t want to be anywhere near me when I drink it - the smell disgusts her - the odor is so pungent she can smell me drinking it from twenty feet away.

Peat is a mossy accumulation of compressed decaying plant material, and peaty is a word used to describe the wide range of flavors its combustion provides depending on how and where it’s harvested— so peatiness is sort of aromatic, smoky, herbal, dark, or even nutty.

https://www.foodrepublic.com/2013/03/29/what-does-peaty-mean/

Peat is a plant that grows all over Scotland, and is a big part of the distilling process – grains are dried over smoldering peat fires, so the smoke gets in the whiskey and contributes a very earthy flavor.

Two more.

Japanese Whiskey and then we finally focus this episode on Jameson with Irish Whiskey.

C. Japanese Whiskey:

Japanese whiskey is just the catch-all term for any whiskey made in Japan.

Makes sense.

What started as a novelty is now some of the best whiskey in the world.

In the 1920s, a businessman named Shinjiro Torii started a whisky distillery in Yamazaki, a suburb of Kyoto that had incredibly pure water.

He had already been importing western liquor and he later created a brand called "Akadama Port Wine,” based on a Portuguese wine which made him a successful merchant.

But he wasn’t satisfied with this, so he turned his sights to whiskey.

Understanding his ingredients and staff had to be the very best for a satisfactory product, Torii hired Masataka Taketsuru as his distillery executive.

Taketsuru had lived and trained in Scotland— and he brought his knowledge of Scotch distilling with him to Japan.

The first westerners to taste Japanese whisky were soldiers of the American Expeditionary Force Siberia who took shore leave in Hakodate [ha koh date] in September 1918.

Those soldiers were over there meddling a bit in the Russian civil war that led to the end of the Russian Tsars and the beginning of communism. Over there trying to stop the Bolsheviks from taking over. Not enough troops were sent to make a difference though. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Expeditionary_Force,_Siberia

But this isn’t about the Bolsheviks! It’s about whiskey. What is Japanese whiskey?

While there's a growing range of options, it's safe to basically think of these as Scotch that just so happens to come from Japan instead of Scotland. Same ingredients.

Suntory [suhn taw ree] and Nikka [nee kuh] are the brands you're most likely to see here in the States, and both produce blended and single malt varieties as well as blended malt whiskeys— just like their Scottish counterparts. D. Irish Whiskey: Last is today’s focus— Irish whiskey.

AKA whiskey made in Sweden.

I mean Nigeria.

I mean Ireland.

I would love it if it was made in Sweden or Nigeria for some strange reason.

Even though this stuff is made very, very close to Scotland, the rules governing its production are different. They’re a little more… relaxed.

If it’s aged for three years and it’s made in Ireland - well then dab nabbit - its Irish whiskey.

That’s pretty much it, in terms of rules.

Irish whiskey enjoyed an extreme popularity in the United States… until Prohibition ruined the market and effectively closed many Irish distilleries.

The Irish War of Independence fought between 1919 to 1921 and subsequent Irish Civil War fought between 1922 and 1923 didn’t help, either, along with a trade war with Britain that cut off whiskey exports to Britain and all Commonwealth countries, then Irish whiskey's biggest market. Trade was disrupted all over the place, shutting down Irish distilleries and distributors.

Just a few were still open by 1960.

In 1966, a couple distilleries pooled their resources into becoming the Irish Distillers, figuring it would be better to sink together than go out of business separately.

And Irish Distillers distills Jameson.

At that time, only about 500,000 cases were being produced, down from twelve million cases in 1900.

Since the 1980s, there’s been a resurgence in Irish whiskey— it’s now one of the fastest-growing spirits in the world.

https://www.scotchwhisky.net/blended/index.htm https://www.bespokepost.com/the-post/the-many-different-kinds-of- whiskey-explained

V. Founder John Jameson: Alright - with all this whiskey knowledge in our heads, NOW let’s meet the founder of Jameson Whiskey.

Terry Juniper-Tweedle.

Kidding.

John Jameson.

Terry Juniper-Tweedle sounds like someone who opened a candy, soda, and wooden toy shop back in like 1910. Someone with a handlebar mustache who wears lederhosen even though he’s not German or in Germany. Just thinks it’s fun.

Because Jameson is THE Irish whiskey for many—it’s hard to swallow that John Jameson was actually…. duh, duh, DUH - a Scotsman.

Even worse— he was also a Presbyterian, not a Catholic.

Rough start.

MIDROLL PAUSE

And before I REALLY introduce Jameson and establish who the Jameson clan is, and head into that cannabilism expedition, this seems like the least disruptive place in today’s Suck for a sponsor break.…

PAUSE

Thank you for listening.

PAUSE

NOW - let’s really mean the Jameson founder.

Jameson was born in Alloa [ah low uh], Scotland on October 5th, 1740 into a seafaring family. He’d later serve as a Sheriff Clerk for the county of Clackmannanshire. [klak ma nun shai uh]

‘Sine [sin a] Metu [met two] ’ - meaning ‘Without Fear’ or “without fear or the unknown” in latin - was the Jameson family motto, awarded for their bravery in battling pirates in the 1500s.

Pretty badass family motto. Wish my family had some kind of cool motto. If my dad got to pick the family motto, it might be something like, “Don’t ask me where I’ve been and I won’t have to add one more corpse to the body pile” or something.”

JK!

Long running gag if you’re new.

If my mom got to pick the family motto, it would be “Worry about everything and live in constant fear.”

Not JK actually. Oh mom. Queen of the Worry Warts!

In 1768, John Jameson married into whiskey. He married Margaret Haig, eldest daughter of John Haig and his wife, Margaret Stein, and the couple had 16 children, though only ten survived to adulthood because fuuuuuuuuuck life in 1768.

And Margaret was early whiskey royalty.

1. The Stein Family:

Most historians describe the Steins Margaret was descended from as a great whiskey dynasty— responsible for a major portion of the total output of Scotch whisky in the 18th century.

The Steins not only revolutionized both the Scottish and Irish whiskey industries, but they were without a doubt also some of the greatest Scottish industrialists of their time.

The distilleries founded by the Steins were the largest manufacturing undertaking of any kind to emerge during the first decade of the Industrial Revolution in Scotland and Ireland.

And they got their start much earlier— the earliest reference to the Steins in the Clackmannan [klak man nun] area dates back to around 1200.

The family was one of privilege— they owned farmland at Craigton [?] and also Greenyards on the far bank of the river Forth.

At some point— historians think maybe after the Kennetpans [kinnit pans] Abbey was dissolved— the Steins extended their land holdings to include the former abbey, where they learned the art of distilling from the friars.

Hell yeah they did. “C’mon Friar Shitfaced Show me the whiskey!!”

Andrew Stein, born in 1672, first established a commercial distillery at Kennetpans [kinnit pans] in the 1720s.

By 1733, Kennetpans [kinnit pans] was the largest distillery in Scotland. At that point, it was run by Andrew’s son, John Stein Sr.

John Sr. soon set his sights on the Irish market.

John Sr. founded the now-famous Bow [bough] Street Distillery in 1780. In the same year, he purchased another Dublin distillery, Marrowbone Lane.

Both would become vast manufacturing plants— even by today’s standards.

The Steins weren’t content to use the same old distilling methods — they wanted to bring whiskey manufacturing to a scale never seen before in Scotland.

To that end, they were open to any new technology they thought might benefit distilling. One of those pieces of technology ended up being something of their own invention— something called the continuous sill.

Many say they don’t get the credit they deserve for this still to this day.

An extract from the Philosophical Magazine published in 1798 stated:

‘The improvements that have taken place in the common distillery business in Scotland within these few years are such as cannot fail to excite the wonder of men of science’.

In 1828, Robert Stein, one of John Sr.’s children, patented a continuous still that fed the "wash" through a series of interconnected pots.

Piston strokes were used to vaporize the wash and feed it into a horizontal cylinder which was divided into a series of compartments using cloth. The Stein still offered improved fuel efficiency compared with the traditional pot still and was the first continuous still to be employed commercially in Scotland.

However, as the still did not allow for siphoning off of the pungent fusel oils, the spirit produced was not highly purified, and the machine needed to be stopped frequently for cleaning.

But they were still producing whiskey on a never-before-seen scale.

With distilling more whiskey came new problems— mostly keeping these vast plants supplied with the raw materials required.

This lead to massive changes to farming in the surrounding areas. The whole of central Scotland’s infrastructure had to be re- examined. The Steins commissioned huge engineering projects from building roads to canals and tramways.

They were literally reshaping the world around them. All to make more booze money.

The Steins’ were ambitious - and that ambition would get them in a couple of tight spots— sometimes with Customs agents, sometimes with London gin merchants, or a variety of other actors they had to cut across to get their product out there.

The Steins frequently attempted to avoid regulations.

For example, they often distilled on the Sabbath, when excise - or customers - officers were not on duty.

When excise officers attempted to use hydrometers to measure the spirit strength accurately, the Steins accused the excise officers of trespass and had them escorted from his premises.

That’s certainly one way to stop an inspection. Wish you could do that with inspectors here in the states.

“Hi, Mr. Cummins. I’m Dale Hahn with Workman’s Comp here to do a little unannounced inspection of your studio.”

“ Mr. Hahn, this is private property. You can take your inspection the fuck out of this building or I can shoot you for trespassing. Go on, GIT!”

The Steins were regarded as royalty when it came to distilling, and they tried to keep their grip on the whiskey throne and control the whiskey market place by controlling or destroying the other distillers around them.

The Steins would bankroll the Haigs and Jamesons to enable them to flourish in the whiskey business - and keep them under some control by lending them high interest loans.

When William Haig of the Seggie Distillery went into liquidation it was revealed he owed John Stein Jr. of Kennetpans £42,000 - equal to about £8million today.

The Steins controlled numerous non-family distilleries in Scotland through complex agreements involving supplying credit and capital. They made a fortune off of loans.

And if anyone they were bankrolling stepped out of line, the Steins could be as ruthless as the most celebrated mafiosos.

https://www.kennetpans.info/the-bribe/

When whiskey exports to England stagnated in the early 19th century, the Steins, and by now their financially independent cousins, the Haigs, threw around lots of bribe money and paid smaller distillers NOT to compete with them when selling to England.

They bought up and dismantled smaller, struggling distilleries. The Steins and Haigs become pretty unpopular with other Scottish distillers.

And they didn’t give a fuck because they were RICH!

They were the Starbucks, or Amazon, or Walmart of the Scottish whiskey trade, squashing the competition however they could to control the marketplace.

They’d control the Scottish whiskey industry until the mid 19th century.

It’s hard to trace the Stein’s involvement in distilling after the closure of John Stein’s Sudbury Distillery in 1856.

http://www.kennetpans.info/the-stein-family-2/ http://www.kennetpans.info/the-haig-family18/

2. Jameson Family: Now to the Jameson family.

After John Jameson was married to Margaret Haig—both a Haig and a Stein— John moved with his family to Ireland.

There, John joined the Convivial Lodge No 202 of the Dublin Freemasons on June 24th, 1774.

Illuminati confirmed! I KNEW IT! The reptilians handed him his whiskey money.

No.

While a lot of people think that John founded the famous Jameson Bow Street Distillery - he started as an employee of John Stein Jr., Margaret’s brother.

He was soon appointed general manager of one of several distilleries in Dublin’s Smithfield district.

John Jameson later declared that he had ‘erected the distillery’ in 1805, when he appears to have become sole proprietor, though this would seem in reality to have been the date of expansion and modernization, not the founding.

Carol Quinn, company archivist at Irish Distillers, writes:

‘In 1805 [John Jameson] was joined by his son, John Jameson II, who took over the family business that year… and for the next 41 years he drove the business forward before handing over to his son, John Jameson III, in 1851.

In 1901 the company was formally incorporated as John Jameson and Son Ltd and, as part of a prospectus issue the following year, published a brief history of the firm, noting: “A distillery was in existence in Bow Street in the year 1780.”’

Around 1780, John Stein Jr. acquired a distillery in Marrowbone Lane, and it appears that John Jameson’s son William married Stein’s daughter Isabella, going on to take over the company, which was trading under the name William Jameson & Company by 1822.

Good ol’ cousin marriage.

Now there are TWO Jameson distilleries. And the two Jameson distilleries were major trading rivals, especially as they were two of what were often referred to as ‘the big four’ of Irish whiskey – John Jameson & Son, George Roe & Company, John Power & Son, and William Jameson & Company.

John Jameson operated Bow Street to the highest standards, bolstering the reputation of Dublin distillers, who were thought of as the makers of the finest ‘pure pot still’ whiskey.

Jameson purchased only the finest grain, sometimes paying farmers in advance to grow cereals for him. He also followed all stages of the production process with great attention to detail.

He also seemed to have been a relatively good boss. Jameson’s employees received above-average wages, and he started the tradition of giving his workers nicknames.

When one of his coopers, Willie McCann, paused to admire his reflection in a window he was from then on entered into the company records as Gorgeous Gus McCann.

Jameson himself ended up with the nickname Glorious John, a name given to him by his close circle of friends and family that would attend his magnificent Dublin parties.

Am I related to this guy? I love nicknames. Just ask the Artist formerly known as Micropeen, Reverend Doctor Joe Horsecock Johnson Paisley. http://www.kennetpans.info/the-jameson-family-story/

When the whiskey was ready to be put away for aging, John Jameson ordered the excavation of cellars on the distillery site to provide cool, moist conditions— optimal for whiskey aging.

He also allowed it to remain in cask for much longer than many of his competitors, to ensure the highest-quality spirit.

His legendary status would exist even during his lifetime, which John bolstered by commissioning the artist Henry Raeburn to paint portraits of himself and his wife Margaret.

Today, these portraits hang in the National Gallery of Ireland, Dublin.

Jameson died on December 3rd, 1823, by which time the Jamesons were firmly established as the country’s leading whiskey family.

The first family of Irish whiskey.

In The Lost Distilleries of Ireland, Brian Townsend declares that John Jameson was “…arguably the single main driving force behind the success of the Irish whiskey industry in the 19th century.”

And his industry was a behemoth.

Distillery chronicler Alfred Barnard visited Bow Street during 1886 and noted:

‘…the distillery covers upwards of five acres of ground… The warehouses belonging to the Distillery usually contain about 25,000 casks of whisky … Three hundred men are employed on the works, and it is a notable fact that the operatives are never turned away except for misconduct. We noticed many hale and hearty old men; one old veteran was over eighty-six years of age… The annual output of the famous Distillery is about 1,000,000 gallons.’

A MILLION gallons a year. That’s a lot of hangovers.

John Jameson & Son would later - much later - lose its independence with the formation of the Irish Distillers Group in 1966.

And two years after that - THAT was when Jameson would first be sold in bottled form, rather than by cask to publicans and bonders.

All the money made back in the day, that wasn’t made with slick marketing campaigns and selling it by the bottle. It was sold by the cask. No one ever saw a bottle of Jameson as we know it today before 1968. https://www.irishdistillers.ie/evolution-of-the-jameson-bottle-and- label-is-set-to-continue-the-success-story-over-50-years-on/

It was sold to publicans and bonders!

Bonders were people who took the distilled whiskey and blended it and often aged it further and bottled it and sold it to publicans - or pub owners, and to grocers and other shop owners since big distilleries weren’t really known as brands yet.

The Bow Street distillery was the second-last to close in Dublin, finally falling in 1971, five years before the doors shut on its great historical rival, the John’s Lane distillery of James Power & Son.

Since 1975, all Jameson whiskey has been produced at Irish Distillers’ vast combined pot still and grain distillery County Cork.

Though much of the Bow Street distillery site has now been redeveloped, it remains home to the hugely popular Jameson Distillery Bow St visitor experience.

Just a few years back, in 2018, with the launch of Jameson 18- year-old Cask Strength, whiskey maturation returned to Dublin.

John Jameson himself would surely have been pleased with this development, just as he would be happy to see Dublin beginning to regain some of its traditional status as a centre of whiskey- making excellence https://scotchwhisky.com/magazine/whisky-heroes/21560/john- jameson/

Okay - enough random whiskey details.

Did you almost forgot this Suck was about cannabilism? I did.

Didn’t think when the Space Lizards picked this topic I’d use it as a fun excuse to a lot about spirits first.

Been drinking whiskey a long time and didn’t really know shit about it other than Bourbon was made in Kentucky and Scotch was made in Scotland, prior to this week.

Hail Nimrod and thank you for the whiskey knowledge!

3. WHISKEY CANNABILISM EXPEDITION: 1886-87:

Let’s head to 1886 - the darkest chapter in Jameson’s history.

Let’s explore allegations that one of John Jameson’s direct descendants - his great grandson - seems to have commissioned some cannibalism while on an African expedition.

In the late 19th century in Europe, it was fashionable for rich young men who didn’t have a lot of responsibilities to tag along on adventures like expeditions.

If you weren’t actually running the operations of some big whiskey distilleries, and you had a lot of money, you got to buy your way into some very interesting vacations of sorts. Have some cool shit to talk to your rich friends about. Must have been fun to be able to live that life.

And that’s the life James Jameson was living in 1886 when he bought his way onto the Emin Pasha Relief Expedition.

James Jameson. What a bummer of a name. Poor bastard. Same first and last name. Ol’ Jimmy James!

This expedition he went on - the one he died on - was one of the last major European expeditions into the interior of Africa in the nineteenth century. It was launched, supposedly, to save a man known as Emin Pasha, who was the governor of some territory that Britain and Egypt co-governed - it’s complicated - a place called Equatoria - in what is now South Sudan.

Some local Sufi muslims did not want Egypt - and really Britain - ruling them. And there was a revolt.

And an expedition was launched to save Emin Pasha before rebels killed him. AND also - to maybe see if some kind of agreement could be reached that allowed England and Egypt to keep a foothold in this part of central Africa.

It’s all actually very complicated - but that’s the gist. http://www.famousjamesons.com/getperson.php? personID=I199&tree=Whiskey_Jamesons

The man who led the expedition Jameson went on was Henry Morton Stanley.

a) HENRY MORTON STANLEY:

Henry Morton Stanley’s original name was John Rowlands. His Congolese name was Bula Matari (“Breaker of Rocks”).

Noice.

Mr. Rock-Breaker was born on January 28th, 1841 in Denbigh [ den-bee ], Denbighshire [ den-bee-sheer] , Wales and died May 10th, 1904 in London.

In between those handful of decades was quite the life— including an expedition that went very, very wrong.

Let’s look at Henry starting with his birth.

Henry’s mother Elizabeth Parry was eighteen years old when Henry was born.

She abandoned him as a very young baby and cut off all communication.

Fun. What a sweet mom!

Stanley never knew his father, who died within a few weeks of his birth.

The stigma of his legitimacy weighed on him all his life— his birth certificate even said “bastard,” which was common at the time but still… Yikes.

He was brought up by his maternal grandfather, Moses Parry, a butcher.

And Moses would die when Henry/John was five.

He then stayed with families of cousins and nieces for a short time, before eventually being sent to the St. Asaph Union Workhouse for the Poor.

The overcrowding and lack of supervision resulted in his being frequently abused by older boys and the headmaster of the workhouse, who sexually abused Henry/John.

Holy shit.

This poor guy’s childhood is starting to feel like Steff Coxscurvey fodder. Like the upbringing of a serial killer.

Rowlands emigrated to the United States in 1859 at age 18, where he met Henry Hope Stanley, a wealthy trader. He asked Henry Hope Stanley if he needed any help with his business in the typical British style, asking him, "Do you need a boy, sir?"

VERY creepy question to ask people now. But not creepy at the time.

Can you imagine approaching some business owner when you’re a teenager and asking, “"Do you need a boy, sir?” Or "Do you need a girl, sir?"

And then having them answer. “YES. Yes, I do need a boy. A boy do nicely. Been wanting a BOY for quite some time now.”

YEEESH.

John/Henry didn’t know it, but Henry Hope Stanley was childless and had long wished for a son, so their professional relationship quickly became a close, more familial one.

Out of admiration, John took Stanley's name.

He then served in the American Civil War on the side of the Confederacy, and during the Battle of Shiloh in 1862 was taken prisoner by the North. He then joined the Union Army but soon fell ill and was discharged.

What a journey this dude had.

Bounced around in Britain for 18 years, makes it to America and then serves for both the South AND the North.

He then joined the US Navy, where he became a record keeper on board the USS Minnesota, which led him into freelance journalism cause why not.

Then he’d adventure his way into a whole mess of expeditions— including to the Ottoman Empire, where he was briefly taken prisoner, and then to Spain, where he wrote about the revolution taking place here.

He made his first expedition to Africa in 1871, to Zanzibar. He was sent to find the Scottish missionary David Livingstone, who had completely lost contact with the outside world for six years.

Only one of Livingstone’s 44 letter dispatches made it to Zanzibar. One surviving letter to Horace Waller was made public in 2010. It says:

”I am terribly knocked up but this is for your own eye only, ... Doubtful if I live to see you again ..."

But Henry Morton Stanley would find him.

He found Livingstone in the town of Ujiji on the shores of Lake Tanganyika [ tan-guhn-yee-kuh] on November 10th, 1871, greeting him with the now famous words: “Dr. Livingstone, I presume?"

Noice!

Henry Morton Stanley is THAT guy. The guy who said the famous phrase, “Dr. Livingstone, I presume?"

Lot of people found that quote pretty funny.

First off, Livingstone was the only other white person for hundreds of miles so of course it was him.

Also, people laughed at Henry Morton Stanley’s attempt to appear dignified by making a formal greeting after traveling through the bush for weeks.

After finding Dr. Livingstone, Henry Morton Stanley returned to England and wrote a book about his experiences: How I Found Livingstone; travels, adventures, and discoveries in Central Africa.

This made him a huge celebrity.

In the 1880s as historians, Stanley worked for King Leopold II, leading numerous expeditions for the profiteering Belgian monarch.

Stanley was contracted to map out some trade routes for Leopold, and then he quickly realized that Leopold basically wanted him to carve out an entire nation.

When Leopold admitted what he really had in mind, he was explicit: "It is a question of creating a new State, as big as possible, and of running it."

Stanley would go on to help carve up into Africa on behalf of colonial powers, and historians have not looked kindly on him for his roll in the colonization of Africa.

Stanley manipulated a lot of tribes into fighting each other, and he also ruthless in his use of modern weaponry against natives while opening a route to the Upper Congo.

We could do a whole Suck on Stanley.

In 1886, Stanley led the Emin Pasha Relief Expedition I mentioned to "rescue" Emin Pasha, the governor of Equatoria in the southern Sudan, who was thought to be held hostage by locals.

Sadly, he would not rescue Pasha and Pasha would die in Africa, killed by rebels.

James S. Jameson would tag along on this ill-fated expedition. He would become part of rear column of this expedition— sometimes better known as “the lost column.”

And who was James S. Jameson again?

Jimmy James was the son of of Andrew Jameson and Margaret Cochrane, making him the great-grandson of Jameson Whiskey's founder John Jameson.

As a super-wealthy heir to a whiskey empire, James S. Jameson lived a good life. He was also - as much as tried to paint him as a nothing-to-do trust funder -he was talented, known as one of the great naturalist artists and sketchers of the late 19th century’s “age of exploration.”

James S. was famed in his day for his sketches of butterflies and birds, made during travels through Southern Africa, Borneo and the Rocky Mountains of the North America continent.

And it would be some sketches that he would make on this trip that would ruin his reputation forever.

The trip seemed like a good idea at first.

He was an experienced traveler ready to face danger in the impenetrable Ituri forest in the Congo basin.

He hoped he would be goin on a fantastic expedition that people all over Europe would be talking about. And that would happen - but not for the reasons he’d hoped.

The expedition ended up taking James S. Jameson to a village along a slave and ivory trading trail - that happened to also be where rumors of cannabilism floated about.

The village was called Lukando/Kasongo in the Democratic Republic of Congo.

Around April of 1888 - Jameson and his crew had been abandoned by Stanley - cut adrift from the main column.

They were basically lost. b) Tippu Tip [tip uh tip]/Tippu Tip [tip uh tip]:

After the deaths of numerous expedition team members to a few skirmishes with locals and disease, the shrinking group of Europeans had become desperate guests at the mercy of their guide, Tippu Tip [tip uh tip], an infamous independent Arab warlord and slave/ivory trader, and his private army.

Tippu Tip [tip uh tip] is an interesting historical figure.

He was a black African Arab who sold, reportedly, tens of thousands of fellow Africans into slavery over the course of his long life.

Did a LOT of ivory trading too.

There was nothing this guy wouldn’t sell. Elephants, people - children. And he didn’t care what you did with anything he sold.

Over his 73 years, he worked as a slave trader, ivory trader, explorer, and governor who helped rule Zanzibar for several sultans on East Africa’s coast. And he lead numerous expeditions into central Africa. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tippu_Tip youtube.com/watch?v=Gitq6_qVCL8

Tippu Tip [tip uh tip]’s real name was Hamad bin Muhammad bin Juma bin Rajab el Murjebi.

That’s a mouthful. Thank God he was given a much shorter nickname.

Tippu Tip [tip uh tip] was born in 1837 into a Zanzibar merchant dynasty at a time when trading routes from Zanzibar were just beginning to reach into other areas, including the present-day Republic of Zaïre.

It was during the course of his third expedition that he gained the nickname of Tippu Tip [tip uh tip], a representation of the sound of his firearms, and befriended the British missionary and explorer David Livingstone.

In 1870, at the head of a 4,000-man caravan, Tippu Tip [tip uh tip] returned to the Congo and, over the following decade, built a formidable trading empire.

In the process, Tippu Tip [tip uh tip] established control over a number of African chiefs who agreed to serve as his vassals, as well as over a number of rival Zanzibari traders.

He was killing it.

In October of 1876, Tippu Tip [tip uh tip] first met Henry Morton Stanley, who persuaded him to escort his expedition down the Congo River.

Stanley, in the upper Congo founded a trading post at what was named Stanley Falls, a site which Arab traders also wanted to use for commercial purposes.

Years later, in early 1887, Stanley arrived in Zanzibar and proposed that Tippu Tip now be made governor of the Stanley Falls District in the Congo Free State and Tippu Tip accepted. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tippu_Tip

At the same time, he agreed to man the expedition which Stanley had been commissioned to organize for the purpose of rescuing Emin Pasha. https://biography.yourdictionary.com/tippu-tip

Then, by April of 1888, Jameson Tippu Tip [tip uh tip] have broken away from Stanley and his main party for reasons that don’t seem entirely known.

Maybe because of cannibalism.

Instead, Tippu Tip [tip uh tip] is leading Jameson and his dwindling, sick party down an old slaver trail to possibly rub shoulders with some cannibals.

There’s not a lot of reliable documentation. The expedition just seems to have kind of unraveled out in the jungles of Africa.

By April 1888, the only other European officer in addition to Jimmy James in the rag-tag column was British army Major Edmund Musgrave Barttelot - who, by this point, had reportedly gone batshit crazy.

Barttelot had recently kicked a camp boy to death and killed another with three hundred lashes from a rhino-hide bullwhip.

He’d shortly be shot dead by a local strongman after physically attacking the man's wife.

Too many days marching through the jungle had broken him.

Jameson, meanwhile, was also struggling with his mental health.

These motherfuckers were going full Apocalypse Now. “The Horror. THE HORROR.”

Jimmy James and his men were becoming increasingly interested in the stories of the area’s cannibals.

Jameson started asking Tippu Tip [tip uh tip] about the stories and “traveler’s tales” of slaves being eaten.

And Tippu Tip [tip uh tip] was the wrong man to bring up a curiosity in some dark shit too if you weren’t REALLY interested in actually encountering some dark shit. He was like John Goodman’s character in The Big Lebowski, Walter Sobchak. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_VAfVhsvOA Start at :31 “You want a toe…” Stop at :44 “fucking amateurs

When Jimmy James spoke to him about rumors of cannibalism —Tippu Tip [tip uh tip] said he’d give Jameson a hands-on example.

Tippu Tip [tip uh tip] told Jameson that for six handkerchiefs, he could buy a local child and watch cannibals kill and eat her.

What a very odd transaction.

“I’d like to buy a child to eat.”

“Okay, dude. We can do that. But it’s gonna cost you.”

“I’ll pay any price.”

“Good. Because the price is VERY steep.”

“Name it and I will pay it!”

“SIX HANDKERCHIEFS!”

And then I picture Jimmy James thinking. “Is this guy fucking serious? I was ready to pay a thousand pounds and he just wants six handkerchiefs?”

Jameson paid him.

And when this story later got out, the bad press around it allegedly helped put an end European expeditions into Africa.

It would also pit Henry Morton Stanley and his reputation against the Jameson family and their reputation, becoming one of the great international scandals of the late Victorian era.

Jameson paid his six handkerchiefs through Tippu and Tippu informed the village chief and had the necessary arrangements made.

Assad Farran, Jameson’s Syrian interpreter, would later give his account of the whole incident in an affidavit.

He reported:

“A man returned a few minutes afterward with a ten-year-old girl. Tippu and the chiefs ordered the girl to be taken to the native huts. Jameson himself, Selim, Masondie, and Farhani, Jameson’s servant, presented him by Tippu, and many others followed.”

The ill-fated little girl was presented to some cannibals in front of the strange Europeans.

“This is a present from a white man who desires to see her eaten,” said the man who brought the young girl.

And then Jameson got out his sketch book to document the grisly scene that followed.

Maybe.

James S. would tell his wife later that he actually painted the image from memory, not while it was happening. He also stressed that he was trying to make the best of a bad situation and that he didn’t intend to have this done. He wrote as if it were just something he’d been joking around about, and didn’t realize what he was saying was not being taken as a joke.

But that claim seems to be bullshit based on other’s accounts of how it all went down.

According to many of the accounts given by crewman, the girl didn’t struggle, but stoically accepted her fate, knowing that she was going to be killed and eaten.

She just quietly watched her fellow tribesmen as they sharpened their knives.

And Jimmy Jameson sketched his sketches.

What the fuck.

She apparently stayed quiet as they tied her to a tree. And then one of the men stabbed her twice in the belly.

According to Ferran’s account, “She did not scream, but knew what would happen, looking to the right and left for help. When stabbed she fell dead. The natives cut pieces from her body.”

And Jameson drew pictures of all of this. Jameson created a total of six different images of the event in watercolor sketches.

What kind of fucking sociopath just calmly watercolors a girl being killed and eaten?

I wonder if he was happy with how it turned out? “Hmmmm. Not sure I got her eyes right. She was quiet sure, but you could see cries of anguish in her eyes. Just couldn’t quite capture it. What a pity.”

The first sketch shows the girl tied to a tree, with people around her sharpening their knives.

The next one shows her being stabbed in her belly, blood gushing from the wounds and running down her small body.

The third sketch showed the tribesmen dissecting her body parts with a large knife.

The last three images showed men carrying her different body parts as they prepared the meat to be eaten.

You can find all these sketches on imgur if you’re morbidly curioius. Link in the show notes that you download from the Timesuck app - we attach notes with sources and links to all the episodes in the app. https://imgur.com/gallery/iinPkPT

According to some of the accounts, Jameson apparently showed these sketches to the chief for approval. This would lead many to think that Jameson’s claim that the entire event started as a “joke” and he was shocked and horrified… to be less than truthful.

But James Jameson wouldn’t survive his journey to tell his side of the story and defend himself against the rumors.

He fell ill with a fever a few weeks or months later - the timeline is a little sketchy on all of this - and died in Stanley Falls on August 3rd, 1888.

He was just about to turn 32 years old.

On his deathbed, he wrote a letter to his wife, who later published his account in newspapers— making her best effort to save his ruined reputation.

Allegations and counter allegations made by Stanley, survivors of the expedition, the Jameson family and British colonial officials would be made via letters and editorials in the most influential newspapers of Dublin, London and New York.

Stanley and his allies would accuse Jameson of what was regarded as amongst the most horrible crimes imaginable— buying a young slave girl for the “sole purpose of having her murdered, so that a cannibalistic scene might be presented for his sketch book.”

The Jameson family fired back, accusing Stanley and others of fabricating horror stories and attacking an honorable man who wasn’t alive to defend himself.

Stanley’s reputation wasn’t doing really well at this point, either.

His expedition had become a three-year, continent-crossing trek of slaughter, savagery and disease, costing thousands of lives.

The public was merciless with its criticism.

To many, calling Jameson a cannibal looked like Stanley was just trying to find a fall-guy.

To many others, Jameson was a cannibal. He might as well have eaten that girl. Rumors floated around that he did.

The Jameson’s family name would be tarnished for years because of the sketches he drew. Sketches carried out of the jungle by one of the last survivors of the expedition.

It clearly detailed his own involvement in dark rites and for many condemned him forever.

For years, the Jameson name became synonymous not with whiskey, but with cannibalism.

http://josefoshea.blogspot.com/2014/04/the-whiskey-cannibal- heart-of-darkness.html https://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/travel/a-grisly-drop- of-history-1.755086 https://archive.org/details/storyofrearcolum00jameuoft/page/76/ mode/2up Some parts taken from the book: Murder, Mutiny & Mayhem - The Blackest Hearted Villains From Irish History by Josef O’Shea

VI.Recap:

What a weird little historical moment, right?

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PRESS STOP

That sounds like a good show actually.

And that’s the end of this show outside of some takeaways, and timesucker updates.

There’s not really much else written about Jimmy James Jameson’s encounter with cannibalism.

So let’s wrap up.

PAUSE TOP FIVE TAKEAWAYS INTRO

VIII.Top Five Takeaways

1.Number One: Number one! The quintessential Irish whiskey brand was invented by a Scotsman - John Jameson. John Jameson married Margaret Haig, the eldest daughter of John Haig and Margaret Stein, who both came from their own whiskey dynasties.

Together, they would make a brand of whiskey that would eventually become by far the best-selling Irish whiskey in the world, with 2019 sales passing 8 million cases. And each cases is three gallons. That’s a LOT of whiskey.

2.Number Two: Number two! James S. Jameson seems to have paid to have a 10 year old Congolese slave girl be murdered and eaten in front of him while in the Congo on an expedition.

And that stained the Jameson brand name for years, as you would think.

Not sure what brand name a cannibalism association wouldn’t stain. Tums, maybe? Fights heartburn fast! Even when you’re digesting a kid.

I’ll stop.

3.Number Three: Number three!

Alcohol does not come from yeast infections. But, it does come from yeast. Just wanted to put that back in your head.

4.Number Four: Number four! There are a lot of different kinds of whiskey with their own regulations about what they have to be made from and how long they have to be stored.

There’s Irish whiskey, Scotch whisky, Japanese whisky, American Bourbon whiskey, rye whiskey, blended whiskey, single malt… the list goes on.

To find out what you like, experts recommend trying whiskeys just a little tiny bit watered down to get the best representation of their real flavor and aroma.

Or, if you really don’t care what they taste like and only drink whiskey to get drunk, grab some Old Crowe and find that ditch to enjoy it in. 5.Number Five: Number five! New info! John Jameson, in addition to being the great grandfather of Jimmy James, was also the great grandfather of inventor Guglielmo [goo lee air-mo] Marconi.

We met him in the Titanic: Its Sinking and the Conspiracies that Surround It Episode.

Marconi was an Italian inventor, electrical engineer and successful businessman who is credited as the inventor of radio and was a pioneer in long-stance radio transmission research and the developer of Marconi’s law and a radio telegraph system.

He shared the 1909 Nobel Prize in Physics with Karl Ferdinand Braun "in recognition of their contributions to the development of wireless telegraphy.”

Without him, we might not even have podcasts to listen to, and he never paid anyone to eat any kids, so cheers, Marconi.

https://www.nobelprize.org/prizes/physics/1909/marconi/ biographical/

PAUSE TOP FIVE TAKEAWAYS OUTRO

IX.Final Announcements

A.Episode has been sucked!: Jameson Whiskey and Cannibalism has been sucked!

A shorter episode than normal. Hope you still enjoyed it.

B.Thank you to Timesuck Team:

Thank you to the Bad Magic Productions Team for all the help in making Timesuck! Queen of Bad Magic Lynze Cummins, Reverend Doctor Joe Paisley, the Script Keeper Zaq Flanary, Sophie “Fact Sorceress” Evans, Bit Elixir, and Logan “Art Warlock” Keith running BadMagicMerch.com and working on our socials along with Liz Hernandez!

Thanks to all of those who follow us on socials and are part of various private Facebook groups on Facebook or on Discord.

C.Next Episode Preview: Next week, a return to cults. Cult! Cult! Cult!

The Angel’s Landing Cult.

Cult leaders tend to twist religions to fit their own narrative, to serve their own motives. Daniel Perez, leader of a cult at Angel's Landing, was no exception. He claimed three different angels possessed his body, making him commit horrific crimes against children, life insurance fraud, and murder.

Interesting. Sounds like some really, really shitty angels. Sounds like he had angels confused with demons.

The control this lunatic possessed over his group was so strong, they willingly, even sometimes happily killed themselves when he foresaw it was their time to die.

Perez moved from state to state with his followers for over 20 years, and planned to continue his life of crime until he either died or got caught.

And he did get caught. The 61 year old sits in the Lansing Correctional Facility in Kansas, where he will remain for the rest of his life. He was sentenced to life for murder and rape.

How many people did this guy lead? What crazy messages did he preach, supposedly on behalf of God? Find out next week on another cult, cult, cult edition of Timesuck.

D.Segue to Timesucker Updates: And now let’s head on over to this week’s Timesucker Updates!

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X.Timesucker Updates

1.LOT of Hacker Updates this week. I love it. The first is from pro-hacker Sack Clint dunsworth. Clint writes:

Hello Suck Master Flex!

Just listened to the Suck on Anonymous and I wanted to write in to give a little perspective on the matter of Internet Piracy. To start off I just want to be clear that I in no way endorse piracy and since you are a creator whose very living is based on what you create, I completely understand your hard stance against it. I'm just wanting to give you a couple things to consider that might provide you with some perspective to see that the issue is a lot grayer than people out-right stealing from artists such as yourself.

Just as a heads up: I'm fully aware that I have a very high chance of sounding like an asshole in this email, but I'm hoping you'll take this email as one of those that respectfully challenges your stance on a subject.

For starters: internet piracy doesn't equate to lost sales since there's no way to guarantee that the pirates would have bought the product if that was their only option. Some of them might have, but others wouldn't bother because the only reason they're interested in obtaining that product was because they had the opportunity to get it for free. Granted, they're still getting something for free, however it's not as though they're stealing money out of your wallet since there's no guarantee that money was ever going to be in your wallet in the first place.

All this to say simply that one of the reasons people pirate things is because they can't otherwise afford it. I'm certain that there's plenty of dick-nuggets out there that feel like they shouldn't have to pay for anything and yeah, those people are assholes. Like I said, though, the matter isn't exactly black and white, though.

Where things really start to get gray is when you look at another one of the big reasons that people pirate things: the lack of ability to purchase the product legitimately.

For example: back in September Nintendo put out a game called Mario 3D All Stars to celebrate the 35th anniversary of Mario. Along with that game's release they announced that it will only be available until the end of March. After that it's going to be pulled from both physical and digital stores so there will be absolutely no way to get it. True to their word: Nintendo pulled the game from all their digital stores and stopped restocking physical game stores with new copies. So once that last wave of physical copies gets sold out there will no longer be any way to buy the game.

So how is someone that wants to play that game supposed to get it? Nintendo has shut down all possible ways to buy the game legitimately. The only option left for someone that wants that game is to pirate it.

I highly doubt that anything I've said here will get you to change your mind on the matter. Again: your stance is completely justified considering what you do for a living. But hopefully it's at least given you something to think about and showed how the matter isn't black and white.

To be perfectly clear: I never pirate products because I'm fortunate enough to be blessed with a decent paying job that allows me to buy the games and movies and virtual live show tickets (can't wait till tomorrow the 22nd!) that I want. Just saying that people who do choose to pirate aren't always just assholes who refuse to pay for things they should.

Space Lizard, Creeper, Dummy, and after this email probably an asshole,

Clint

Thanks Clint!

2.Another Anonymous update now from an Anonymous fan, justice- loving Sucker Sandra Salvato. Sandra writes:

I saw that this week's topic is Anonymous and I wanted to write in and tell you about my experience with the group. I worked in Newtown CT for 15 years and was working in the town during the Sandy Hook shootings. I had friends who lost their children that day. That tragic event brought out the wackos and scumbags. During the aftermath those scumbag Baptist people showed up. They brought more pain and grief to an already horrific environment. They tormented the families by saying God took your kids because of gruesome things that I will not repeat. Now I do not agree with everything Anonymous dose but they helped beyond words. They saw what those scumbags were doing and published what hotels they were staying in and other helpful information. I will only say it aided in keeping those scumbags away from the wakes and the funerals. It got so bad for those scumbags that they went home. I will forever be grateful to Anonymous!!! If they are reading this THANK YOU!!!! Keep you the great show, you make my work day go by quicker. Have a great day! - Sandra.

Thanks, Sandra!

3. An anonymous Sucker left us an Anonymous update regarding War Games and phone phreaking. They wrote:

The movie war games taught an old phone phreaker trick. There is a scene where Matthew Broderick needed to make a call from a pay phone and asks to borrow a paper clip, he unbent it and used it to contact the microphone of the handset to the base plate of the coin catch thus shorting the phone making it think a coin had been placed to make a call. This trick actually worked, I saw it in the movie and tried it and used the trick for several years until about the late 90's when the phone company started changing the payphone to prevent this. At the time however another hack was availible and you could download a .wav file of a quarter tone to play in the reciever for the same effect. I had an old yack back that I had spliced a headphone jack onto in place of the microphone, recorded the quarter .wav and used that to get free calls until the age of the payphone finally gave way to cell phones. Absolutely love the show, 3 out of 5 stars, keep on sucking. - Anonymous

Thanks, Anonymous!

4.And NOW - one of MANY emails we got from someone who fell for my Dog the Bounty Hacker bullshit. Duped Sack Ryan Ahles (ALL-es) writes:

You Motherfucker Bo Jangles Will Get You I was listening to this weeks podcast on Anonymous and was on my lunch break. You then explained how Dog the bounty hunter had graduated from MIT, and of course as I'm hearing this I'm looking at the clock thinking oh shit I gotta clock in and take calls for my company, but that fact I found so god damn funny that I sent a text to my best friends group chat. Now having finished the episode and them all having googled this I am the mockery of our group chat. Bo Jangles heed my prayer and rip this meat sacks nuts off for this embarasment cuts deep. (Love the show, have been a fan of your stand up since I was in middle school. Please never stop as you have brightened my life.)

Thanks, Ryan!

5.: Still another Anonymous update from another Anonymous fan, Hacker fan and Meatsack Tyler S. Tyler writes:

Hey suckmaster supreme, I been listening to the suck since last year after Pandora recommended Scared To Death to me and been hooked ever since. I listened to the Anonymous suck and I have to say my hometown had an event that Anonymous got involved in. In the town of Steubenville Ohio there was a massive rape scandal that took place at a high school party of the Big Red High school. Among the debauchery of underaged drinking a girl had passed out drunk and 2 top football players for the football team proceeded to take advantage of her. These dirtbags posted the videos to a secret fan website for the Big Red Football team called "Roll Red Roll" because these football players were well known, talented, and easily qualifying for scholarships, many people tried to sweep it under the rug. Anonymous exposed these dirt bags and they got tried as adults for not only sexual assault but the videos they had constituted as possession of child pornography. Thanks for the amazing content sorry not sorry for the long email, 3/5 stars wouldn't change a thing.

Thanks, Tyler!

6.ONE final hacker update from another Anonymous Sucker. They write:

Greetings father of all that sucks. Big fan of all things bad magic. If you decide to use this, please keep my name out as I live in the cat and mouse game of information security for a living. I wanted to reach out regarding your recent podcast about Anonymous and the world of hacking. Most of the data breaches we see today are from entities over seas, and there are specific Internet Port (IP) ranges that they come from, and while you can "spoof" IP addresses, most people get sloppy and you can follow the bouncing ball to find the originate. They are either attacking for a specific reason (medical data/research) or are script kiddies that really have no idea what they are doing. There are also scammers who utilize card scanners on gas pumps or card readers to get your information. Also, there are other hackers that are named bug hunters that make a very good living with bug bounties reporting hacks found in different software and Operating Systems (Recently someone found 2 bugs in a rather large software platform and received $100,000 per bug). Most self described hackers are generally good people that like to drink a lot. I recommend looking into DEFCON (www.defcon.org) which is in their 29th iteration this year. If you would happen to go, I recommend taking a burner laptop and phone that you don't care if they are hacked into. Also don't wear or use bluetooth devices. It is a very large hacking conference in Las Vegas every year sans pandemic. They have workshops on social engineering, biomedical and wireless hacking, even vehicle hacking. I went to a few of these conferences where I watched them hack voting machines (yes voting machines https:// www.cnn.com/videos/business/2019/08/10/voting-booth-hack- def-con-orig.cnn-business), IV pumps, and a new Dodge Challenger for example. The best of the best go to this, along with feds. They actually have a game called spot the feds that the hackers play. If you have further questions let me know and ill try to answer them as best as i can as technology changes quickly and we have to adapt with it. Sorry not sorry for the length, Hail Lucifina, and keep on sucking.

Thanks, Anonymous!

7.Finally, an update to the old Immanuel David Cult Suck. Remember that sock lover? Straightened-out Sack Chelsea Ellis does, and sends in a funny update. Chelsea writes:

No longer crooked thanks to Immanuel David

I’d offer a clever intro but you’ve been called damn near every name possible and I’m just not that witty. I don’t remember how I came across this mess but I’ve been binging the fuck out of it for months now. I needed podcasts because while I sew up my catnip toys for the side hustle (hey, it’s helping pay for this divorce, can I get a hail triple M! ) I found trying to watch tv while operating a fast-moving needle wasn’t the smartest idea (the marriage being the first - hey-oh!).

I’m currently at the Immanuel David episode and I hear your skepticism of him curing scoliosis. Look, I don’t like supporting or encouraging wackadoodles anymore than the next cult member, but I gotta give props where props are due. I was diagnosed with scoliosis in elementary school with that super fun ‘test’ where they gather all the kids and have them bend over one by one in front of the gym teacher (who always seems to be male....prepubescent teen girls offering their behinds to a grown man...could that be some kind of pedo conspiracy disguised as a health screening?? Hmmmm Illuminati!?!). I remember barely bending before they ushered me off to the side opposite everyone else. Thankfully I never needed surgery but as an adult, bending over or showing my X-ray (attached for funsies; it’s kinda cloudy, I think I took a breath when they said to hold it, I always was a rebel) was like my ‘party trick,’ guaranteed to make me memorable. While I never needed surgery, I still would sometimes look up what was ‘new’ in the medical world involving scoliosis and actually came across David’s cure. Seemed simple enough, you actually weren’t too far off in your joke about stretching someone out on a table by pulling opposite ends, and I figured what the hell do I have to lose?

Surgery, while having come a LONG way since the early 90s, still possessed that risk of paralysis and that terrified me. So I contacted him and went in with a healthy dose of doubt. Well. Those of us born crooked always wonder how different we would look/feel if we were straight and let me tell ya, it took some getting used to the extra 2.5” I gained in height. I’m still too short for the top shelf in grocery stores but the petite sized jeans are now the perfect length for me! To have found a non-surgical solution to this thing I’ve hated about myself for my entire life is worth having to contact you to tell you that none of this is true you asshole.

I am still crooked as fuck but I am also still so mad over falling for that goddamned Humphrey Bogart shit in the Manhattan Project suck. I had twitter brought up and was typing “did yall fucking know Humphrey Bogart pretended to be killed in front of people....” when you fucking got me. But no more! I’ve gotten pretty good at predicting your shenanigans, mainly because I just now assume everything you say is utter bullshit. Thanks for keeping me company while I really fine tune my new life of “divorcee in her 30s with multiple cats.”

Side note: if some other crooked bitch beat me to this joke I am gonna be so pissed! But I’ll also need their contact info because that’s someone I wanna be friends with �

Chelsea

Chelsea! You got me with that bullshit. You really did. I was like - “How the fuck could that ACTUALLY WORK??” Noice!

Thanks, Chelsea.

B.THANK YOU for messages

PAUSE TIMESUCKER UPDATES OUTRO

XI.Goodbye!

A.Goodbye!:

1.Thanks for listening to this Bad Productions Podcast, Meatsacks.

Please don’t pay to watch any kids get eaten this week, maybe just relax, sip on a nice whiskey ginger, and keep on sucking instead.

PRIMARY SOURCES: https://dodublin.ie/jamesoncombo/history-of-jameson https://www.jamesonwhiskey.com/en-US/our-story https://vinepair.com/wine-blog/9-things-you-didnt-know-about-jameson/ https://www.mashed.com/223244/the-untold-truth-of-jameson-irish- whiskey/ https://www.haigwhisky.com/haig-whisky-jameson-history-whisky- cousins/ https://www.thespiritsbusiness.com/2014/09/biggest-moments-in-irish- whiskey-history/ https://www.bespokepost.com/the-post/the-many-different-kinds-of- whiskey-explained https://www.businessinsider.com/facts-about-whiskey-2010-4 https://www.thespiritsbusiness.com/2016/08/top-10-whiskies-with- strange-backstories/ https://www.scoopwhoop.com/inothernews/whisky-facts/ https://www.worldwhiskyday.com/100-whisky-facts/ https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/food-and-drink/dead-distillers- us-whiskey-stories-bourbon-moonshine-makers-kentucky-tennessee- jack-daniels-jim-beam-a7578416.html https://crushbrew.com/dead-distillers-weird-and-wonderful-stories-of-us- whiskey-and-moonshine-makers https://www.timeout.com/newyork/bars/things-you-never-realized-about- bourbon-whiskey

https://www.thewhiskypedia.com/jameson-irish-whiskey https://www.maxim.com/entertainment/20-jameson-whiskey-facts-2017-5 https://www.irishtimes.com/sponsored/redbreast/a-story-of-irish- whiskey-1.4089278 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irish_whiskey https://theculturetrip.com/europe/ireland/articles/a-brief-history-of-irish- whiskey/ https://thewhiskeywash.com/whiskey-styles/irish-whiskey/a-short-history- of-irish-whiskey/ https://allthatsinteresting.com/james-jameson-cannibal http://josefoshea.blogspot.com/2014/04/the-whiskey-cannibal-heart-of- darkness.html https://archive.org/stream/storyofrearcolum00jameuoft/ storyofrearcolum00jameuoft_djvu.txt https://fishoutofmalbec.com/jamessjameson/ https://knowledgenuts.com/gruesome-cannibalism-behind-jameson- whiskey/ https://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/travel/a-grisly-drop-of- history-1.755086 https://www.ranker.com/list/cannibal-history-of-jameson-whiskey/rachel- souerbry https://scienceblogs.com/gregladen/2015/02/17/on-cannibalism-and- jameson http://horrorfuel.com/2021/03/15/jamesons-cannibal-past/ https://steemit.com/cannibalism/@georgiandi/horrible-caso-de-jameson- whiskey-el-aventurero-que-compro-una-nina-para-ser-devorada-por- canibales https://sadnessandlove.tumblr.com/post/138037365225/jameson- whiskey-is-one-of-the-most-well-known https://freaked.com/slave-girl-for-six-handkerchiefs/ https://www.bizzarrobazar.com/en/2018/12/16/sei-fazzoletti-per-i- cannibali-il-terribile-jameson-affair/ https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Jameson-96

Diaries - https://archive.org/details/storyofrearcolum00jameuoft https://archive.org/stream/storyofrearcolum00jameuoft/ storyofrearcolum00jameuoft_djvu.txt https://www.nytimes.com/1891/03/23/archives/new-publications- jamesons-own-story-the-story-of-the-rear-column-of.html http://www.famousjamesons.com/getperson.php? personID=I199&tree=Whiskey_Jamesons https://www.archyde.com/july-1-1887-the-day-james-jameson-devours-a- girl-to-cannibals/ http://www.biodiversityexplorer.info/people/jameson-js.htm

Books

Story of the Rear Column of the Emin Pasha Relief Expedition

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