Volume 20 / Issue 4 ucd.ie/tribune 31st October 2006 Ghosts and In a place ghouls called vertigo The History of Halloween - Page 15 How U2 scaled the heights - Page 14 THIS WEEK “A cheap shot from cheap people" ● Fake University Observers “fraudulent and pathetic" WITH ● Legal action likely

MUSIC Claims made in a faked Uni- Jack Cane versity Observer attributing FILM quotes to Trinity Criminal at the moment.” HEALTH Law Professor Ivana Bacik Carroll, claiming the newslet- have been branded “pathetic” ter to be “very worrying”, went FASHION and “fraudulent” by the pro- on to state “we utterly reject CULTURE choice advocate. the allegations contained in Commenting that the false this leaflet that was circulated. ARTS quotes were, in her opinion, It’s worrying that someone “not worth taking up” legally, could take our newspaper and Bacik went on to state that reproduce it, and reproduce so she believes other “organisa- many details of it. There’s ob- tions that have been named viously huge legal implications may want to take their own involved with it.” action. Clearly there is legal One false report in the action possible, by myself or newsletter claims to be a re- by others.” traction of a previous article Other organisations named in the University Observer in this newsletter, which was regarding pro-life group available throughout UCD last Youth Defence. Car- Monday and Tuesday, include roll says he stands the University Observer and by the original article service research agency TNS – detailing controversy mrbi. surrounding a UCD abor- University Observer Editor tion debate this year - “one Stephen Carroll has already hundred percent. I spoke to confirmed that he is looking both sides and I reported ac- into legal options of dealing curately what those people with the newsletter, informing said and I stand over that.” the College Tribune that the Continued: Page 4 matter “is with our solicitors Editorial: Page 9 Ambushed: Fake Observer's being distributed by the perpetrators on campus last week College Tribune 2 WHAT’S ON 2 NEWS 31st October 2006 Ending the rip off October 31st ● Food Co-op set up by students ● Vegetarians & Vegans will be catered for

Alan Doyle In light of the absence of nutritious, affordable food on campus, a group of UCD students have set up food co-operative (Co-op). Many election campaigns at all levels of student politics are founded on the back of “ending the rip- off” and the student action co-op last year took on the overpriced tea and coffee outlets on campus. The UCD Food Co-op will be running a stall in Editor Colin Gleeson the Student Centre from 12pm-2pm on Monday No- Deputy Editor Simon Ward vember 6th. “The aim is to provide a tasty, healthy and affordable alternative to the overpriced and Design Editors Tara Phelan & Simon Ward often poor food available on campus,” declared the Sports Editor Ben Blake students. Features Editor Matthew Parkinson Bennett “A Co-Operative is an organisation, not for profit, Health & Fashion Editor Caitrina Cody which agrees to hold all assets in common and to share the workload and the benefits equally,” they Arts Editor Barra O Fianail continued. Music Editor Hugh Fowler “Most relevant for the passing trade of hungry students will be organic and meat-free sandwich- Contributors: Jane Horgan-Jones,Claire Spelman, es that will appeal to all types of eaters, whether Eat Well: The safe food roadshow hit Belfield earlier this year Alexa Byrne, Susan Cahill, Eoin Murphy, Jack Horgan or not they are exclusively vegetarian. Jones, Pete Mahon, Killian O'Connor, Jordan Daly, In addition to this will be the sale of fresh fruit principle motivation for us.” lar groups of students are not. In addition to all Adrian Collins, Chris Whelan, Frank Clune, Amro Hus- and vegetables, organically and locally grown and Though vegetarianism is one of the founding this are the overwhelming environmental benefits sain, Steuart Alexander, John O'Flynn, James Haugh- ey, Lorcan Archer, Ronan Dempsey, Aidan MacGuill, sold on at low prices. principles, alongside organic food, ethical produc- of purchasing homemade food in recyclable pack- MAree Rigney, Joanna Cochrane, Orla Kenny, Stephen “Members will be able to source their weekly tion, local sourcing and communal organisation, aging, providing aid and support to those who wish Humphries, Cian Taaffe, Hannah Kousbrouek, Jack shop of healthy foodstuffs through the co-op. By it is not a doctrinal requirement for those inter- to be ethical consumers.” Cane, Owen Priestley, Alan Doyle, Linda O'Halloran, becoming an active member, a student can place ested. The idea has been successfully carried out in Mark Canavan, Bernadette Scott, Paul Dillon, Eoin an order of dried organic foods, groceries, toiletries “Most of the food outlets on campus provide universities around the world, most notably in the Mac Aodha, Jane Horgan-Jones, Karen O'Connell and other eco-friendly household goods from the meat free alternatives to their main courses, but University of Melbourne. Dublin Food Co-Op and purchase them without these usually take the form of chips or basic side Here the Food Co-Op has run for nearly thirty Special Thanks To: Gary, Stephen & Billy @ suffering from profit or packaging mark-ups.” portions of vegetables, lacking in protein and taste. years, with the support of the Union, and exists Spectator Newspapers, Eilis O'Brien, The Co-Op intends to compile information leaf- The option of a ‘burger-free bun’ is not an ade- on a scale equal to a franchise or restaurant, with Dominic Martella, A&B, God. lets and recipes to help students who are cooking quate substitute for those seeking to live a healthy regular and convenient opening hours, and pro- for themselves and may be having trouble main- vegetarian or vegan lifestyle. vides healthy daily food and weekly shopping in Contact Us: taining a healthy diet. “We will provide variety and choice for those much the same way as the UCD food co-op aspires E: [email protected] In the long term, the co-op will seek to run who have chosen to abstain from eating meat for to. cooking lessons in the new student centre, shar- health, moral or religious reasons, while also offer- Student Welfare Officer Barry Colfer considers T: 01-7168501, ing skills and ideas on healthy living. The students ing a tasty and cheap change of culinary scenery this to be a “really great initiative” as “The food on LG 18, Newman Building explain, “A sense of community amongst members for carnivorous students. campus is often poor and overpriced, especially for is to be one of the pleasant side effects, if not a “While meat is excluded from the menu, particu- vegans and vegetarians.” TTriribokkuu

EASY Welfare officer 146 2859 condemns alcohol policy 36 24 Maree Rigney 654 123 UCD Students' Union Welfare Officer Barry Colfer has declared that the alcohol policy in 357UCD bears responsibility for the binge drinking culture in student life. 987 654 Colfer stated, “I don't believe that the alcohol policy is as clear and effective as it 19 47 should be. “It would be patronising for me to say 7138 students can't make decisions about alcohol themselves. And I applaud the addition of an 869alcohol abuse counselor. “It means that the university is acting on the realisation that the negative effects of DIFFICULT alcohol affect so many students. But the fact that we have an alcohol policy doesn't fix the 146alcohol problem in UCD. “Alcohol abuse needs to be taken more se- 2859 riously. Students need to be educated about the effects of alcohol abuse." 36 24 Colfer believes the policy needs to be updated and made more student-friendly. 654 123 Many of the regulations are either difficult to Gone: Booze and books are not a good combination understand or are obvious alcohol regulations 357in Ireland. Irish life and drinking is a common way for students According to recent studies published in the to deal with stress and personal issues. ‘Journal of American College Health', a staggering “Regulations are needed to inform students 987 654 95% of men and 93% of women students in Ireland of the risks involved in alcohol substance and to are drinkers. provide a caring environment and an effective 19 47 Yet, according to many students, a number of response system for those who develop alcohol the details on UCD's alcohol regulations are not related problems." 7138 even easily understood or adhered to. At least one of these needs have been attended Colfer continues, “It's great that we have an to recently with the addition of an alcohol abuse 869alcohol policy but students need to be advised and counsellor, Donal Kiernan, to the Student Health educated about alcohol. Alcohol plays a major role in Centre. College Tribune 31st October 2006 NEWS 3 Refunding the 150 students will “ruin the society" ● 150 students still without refund for Mystery Tour ● B&L cannot afford to pay the money There are 150 students who have still not been refunded by the Business and Legal Society Linda O'Halloran (B&L) for the cancelled Mystery Tour. The €4,500 that this amounts to, according to “They’d just spent €20,000 bringing these guys society auditor, Stephen Quinlivan, is money they over, so we had to do something for them. That’s simply haven’t got to spend. why the band was brought down to the bar”. This While B&L have enough money in their own ac- cost the organisers €6,000 upfront, a sum they count, giving it out would “ruin the society,” con- had to borrow from the Student Bar for the band fessed Quinlivan. to agree to play. The B&L and Q Soc organisers provided a day of Quinlivan is adamant, however, that those who refunding last week in the student centre, but the did not get their money back last week will get one large number who didn’t show may have missed more chance. “As far as I’m concerned we should their last chance to be reimbursed. give them another chance to be refunded.” “I think from a legal point of view we’ve probably He explained, “they mightn’t have got a text fulfilled our statutory requirements in that we did message, for example, because they weren’t on have a full day of refunds,” remarked Quinlivan. the database; they mightn’t have heard about it; Embarking upon the planning, the two socie- there were a few grads on or something that day, ties opened an account specific to the event into so people weren’t actually in college; there was which they lodged all ticket revenues, a total of only one day; it was short notice and it was badly €24,000. organised because of all the complications we All organisational expenses were subsequently had.” charged to that account, amounting to “a few According to Quinlivan, there are two possible thousand”, according to Quinlivan. refund sources, UCD or fundraising events. The The expenses included posters, fliers, tickets, former, according to Sugrue, is that which they text messages, wristbands for the trip and high- both desire and to which they feel a sense of en- visibility jackets. “That money’s gone. It’s not com- titlement. ing back.” “We’re adamant that this money should not In addition, they are yet to agree on the amount come out of our account because we’re not the to be paid to the bus company by way of deposit, ones who frustrated the contract.” Accordingly, an additional debt which “could be nominal or sig- their foremost plan is to submit a request to the Cash Strapped: B&L are unable to meet it's debts. Inset - B & L Auditor Stephen Quinlivan nificant enough”, according to Brian Sugrue, treas- societies’ finance committee, on which Quinlivan urer of B&L. himself sits, or to apply for a special grant. as far as to allow the societies to refrain from fur- Quinlivan himself said “students should have ar- “Another big expense we had to incur was the Contacted by the College Tribune, however, the ther refunding and, hence, avoid having to provide ranged to get their tickets back in some way when band, Goldy Lookin’ Chain”, said Quinlivan. The college stated that they had no intention of car- compensation. the chance was there. If there will be another day Music Factory in Carlow was banking on the UCD rying any of the costs incurred from the cancelled Regarding this question, Richard Butler, Socie- of refunds we’ll do it maybe in the bar for one turnout and were “pretty devastated” when the Mystery Tour. ties Officer for UCD, did not respond to the Col- hour. We’ll notify the members, people will have tour pulled out at the last minute. The societies’ finance committee may even go lege Tribune. one more chance.” College Tribune 4 NEWS 31st October 2006 “A cheap shot from cheap people"

Continued from page 1 Bacik, who had false quotes attributed newsletter’s publication. Last to her claiming that she had become Thursday Eoghan de Faoite, chair- an opponent of pro-choice views, com- man of the organisation, said he mented that she has “no doubt” as to who had only seen a “kind of a photo- made the newsletter, adding that she is copy” of the publication. “quite happy to debate with people openly De Faoite went on to assert but not if they stoop to fraud and passing that Youth Defence did not pub- off.” lish it, saying that “the first I This was echoed both by UCD Students’ heard from it was yesterday.” On Union President Dan Hayden who agreed the subject of the newsletter’s that his suspicions “would seem likely but content the Youth Defence chair who knows” as to who printed the news- would not comment as he had letter while Carroll added he “could hazard “no involvement” with it. a guess” as to the identity of the authors. The College, who are believed Claiming that the to have obtained CCTV footage newsletter was a of the distributors, released a “cheap shot from cheap statement saying “third parties people”, Hayden add- have no permission to enter ed that the SU was campus and distribute material currently “investigat- without clearance from the uni- ing the distributors of versity. the leaflets” which he “Certainly the group distribut- hoped would ing the literature on Monday had lead to iden- no permission and were asked tifying the to leave. We do not know the publishers true identity of these people and people but have grave concerns about responsible. any group passing itself off as Organised: The distributors keep in communication. Youth a student body.” Defence, The group handing out the When asked did the distributors attend who are newsletters last Monday, upon being UCD, one of the group claimed that they repeat- approached by the College Tribune, all did. Approximately an hour later UCD e dly claimed variously to be employed services removed the distributors and mentioned by the University Observer and newsletters from campus, although the in the news- also by Ross McGuire, chair group returned outside the College’s main letter, claimed no of the Literary & Historical entrance the next morning. knowledge of the Society. Editorial: Page 9 College Tribune 31st October 2006 NEWS 5 Posters were “tactless, irresponsible and disgusting" Students’ Union Women’s Officer Carole Ann Mark Canavan Rushe has declared that posters advertising a Students’ Union (SU) event last week, where pro- declared, “I think Paul thought that because it was ceeds were in aid of Breast Cancer Awareness, women’s week he should put a woman on his post- were “disgusting and offensive. er but it’s really disgusting to look at.” Arts and Human Sciences Programme Officer “Its is completely against the idea of raising Paul Lynam hung the posters around campus in money for breast cancer awareness which is to pro- order to advertise the Arts Faculty night, last Thurs- mote healthy body image. These girls have a perfect day, October 26. figure and there is absolutely nothing wrong with The poster displayed two women and two men them as far as you can see. dressed only in their swimwear, and holding signs “For girls walking on campus, it reinforces the im- advertising the event. pression that this is what the female body should be like and it is also really offensive to relate this to Disgusting breast cancer.” Lynam responded to these accusations by claim- Rushe stated, “When I saw the poster I was dis- ing, “half the people on the poster are men, to say gusted that a girl in a bikini was holding sign saying that it is objectifying women is unfair because half ‘In Aid of Breast Cancer Awareness’ because it is a the people in the poster are men. It isn’t targeted real sensitive issue for people with breast cancer at any sexual thing towards women exclusively, it is who could be on campus or have a relation with both sexes and we shouldn’t be afraid of sexuality breast cancer. in the 21st century.” “Having dealt with Breast cancer awareness I He added, “I have asked someone who had breast know that something like this can be heartbreaking cancer and I did have an aunt with breast cancer Offensive: Arts Faculty posters to people with breast cancer”. She added that “It’s and I would never do something like trying to of- also not fair to students trying to deal with obesity, fend someone with breast cancer”. posters”. Responsibility and there is a whole range of issues that this poster Both Bond and Rushe placed responsibility for provokes”. Controversy the design of this poster on Lynam. Bond described Bond and Rushe insisted that the SU President, Rushe confessed that she was particularly fazed Lynam as tactless and irresponsible. Dan Hayden should also shoulder a proportion of the by the SU executives handling of the issue, “We The controversy erupted last Friday, when shortly responsibility for allowing the posters to be printed talked about it on Friday when I went into the of- after the posters had gone up, Chris Bond, the other Destroying student property in the first instance. fice and literally people were laughing and joking Arts and Human Sciences Programme Officer, went Bond said, “Because of the president’s decision, about this. around the college tearing down the posters. Lynam refuted Bonds comments, “I don’t need the union has lost some moral-high ground as re- “I was at the end of my tether and just so fucking Bond explained that he felt “the problem with it Chris’ permission to put posters up. I think its im- gards criticising posters from other societies. But pissed off that I went back in and literally just burst was that they displayed semi-naked people and I portant to be clear I was allowed put up those post- hopefully this situation will never happen again be- into tears because they were taking the piss out of believe that it is offensive towards people in col- ers because I asked the SU, and Chris had no right cause there is a motion in for the next council con- it and I had put so much effort into the week and lege who have suffered from breast cancer or have or mandate to tear down those posters and that demning these kinds of posters.” to get the event going. I was just really emotional had family members suffer from breast cancer. I was wrong. He is actually in breach of destroying The SU Executive Council did not pass a proposal about the whole thing.” don’t think it was an appropriate image to use for a student property.” by Hayden to cover up the controversial aspects of breast cancer society whatsoever.” He also added, “I think there is something im- the poster. Missing the point He said, “I felt I had to remove the posters be- portant to point out in relation to Carol-Anne, she Bond said that this decision could “set a danger- cause I had no option at the time. I felt I had to knew about the posters before they were put up ous precedent because the union should be there Rushe accused Lynam of missing the point of distance myself from such images and I didn’t want and never complained once”. Rushe denies these to defend its members against objectifying and of- women’s week and breast cancer awareness. She the name of my position stamped on such offensive accusations. fensive posters and not to promote it”. US Academic condemns Diageo funding

A leading academic in the United States has reiterated his request for UCD to return funding Bernadette Scott received from Diageo for alcohol research. In defence to these assertions, Diageo has Dr Thomas F. Babor, head of the University guaranteed their intentions are not to ma- of Connecticut's Department of Community, nipulate the project by means of advertising. A Medicine and Healthcare, has asked the college spokesperson for the corporation has also stated to return the sum of E1.5 million. they will have no influence on the manner in In the spring of this year, Diageo Ireland which the University's research is carried out. publicised it aims to finance research into be- Numerous questions have been posed within havioural issues related with excessive alcohol the editorial as to why protocols for this par- consumption among youths. ticular research had not been made open to the However, an editorial composed by Babor elements of peer reviewing. has criticised the collaboration and condemned A spokesperson for UCD told the College UCD's decision to accept the funding. Tribune, “The research findings will be published In the scholarly journal ‘Addiction', Babor and peer reviewed by academics on international stated, “In the context of growing industry standing. We have every confidence that the involvement in alcohol research, we question the research will be judged as valuable to the body propriety of this funding initiative and ask the of academic work into risk behaviour, as well as administration of UCD to reconsider their deci- being useful to policy makers." sion to accept it." The extent to which UCD has evaluated its Bab move: Thomas Babor thinks the Diageo money should be returned Within his article, Babor has illustrated his decision has also been questioned in the journal. concern regarding the influence Diageo, vendors Babor also states that if the college fails to having any influence over what research is via a strict ethical agreement and the company of Guinness, Baileys and Smirnoff, may have provide credible answers with regard to these undertaken. All of the research findings will be is precluded from influencing research design, over the University's research. matters, that they should “ notify Diageo that published." research methods and research outputs and the He has suggested that the Multinational their gift is no longer welcome." The contract in question states, “Through company does not see the findings in advance of Company's involvement in the initiative could The UCD spokesperson continued, “The wide dissemination and publication of their publication. possibly “shift emphasis from effective public university accepted the donation from Diageo findings to their academic peers, to the policy “These long established ethical procedures health policy to issues that are less threatening with great appreciation. The donation ena- community and beyond the research team ensure independence and transparency. This to the alcoholic beverage industry." bles researchers to undertake comprehensive will provide useful scientific evidence on this health behaviour study on alcohol misuse in He proclaims that the company's participa- research into risk behaviour. important topic, informing policy decisions and young people will be publicised and scrutinised tion in the project is “less to with the advance- “As with any research funded by private specific intervention responses. by academic peers internationally and will be ment of evidence-based alcohol policy than with donation, this work is covered by a strict “In keeping with international best prac- open to wider audiences to read, consider and the public image of the company." ethical contract that prevents the donor from tices, this research programme is conducted consult." College Tribune 6 NEWS 31st October 2006 STI screening situation “lamentable" Students’ Union Welfare Officer Barry afternoon slots would be mayhem.” Colfer has declared that the lack of an STI Colin Gleeson Regarding the possibility of an STI centre clinic in UCD is “lamentable.” eight to be in with a chance to be seen. They appearing on campus in the future, Colfer de- Students seeking an STI screening in the said sorry, there have been people here since clared, “I’d love to see it happen, most of the current climate in UCD, will be sent to St. seven o clock. other big college’s in the country have it. James’ Hospital in Dublin City Centre. “The second time, I told them, this is my “I raised the issue with Mary Clayton at Colfer, in his capacity as Welfare Officer, second time coming from the south of Dub- one of our meetings with the college author- has recently chosen to undergo a screening lin, how should I go about being seen, and ities, but their attitude is that the university’s as an experiment, but has found the task they told me to come along even earlier. role is primarily in education. But college is near impossible. “I’m not sure, looking at a bus timetable if also about socialising and the development “It’s lamentable really,” remarked Colfer, it’s even possible to get from UCD campus of your character. “It’s unacceptable that students in UCD have to James’ by seven o’clock in the morning “It comes down to prioritising money and to go to such lengths for a standard and very via public transport. Because I’d say it’d be resources and the health centre upstairs is important medical procedure. Any student is tough enough now, to get the first bus in, I under resourced as it is. sexually active and sensible should be con- think you’d still miss it. Logistically you can’t “It’s such a big deal for students. It’s an sidering having it but the lengths it takes are do it. unpleasant experience. It’s a minority who just unacceptable.” “The afternoon slots for screenings are on will go and get a screening, and when that Colfer continued, “I’ve made the journey Tuesdays and Thursdays from one o’clock, minority realise that two buses and a very out there twice now and I’ve been turned but they encourage you not to be there af- early morning later, they might not even get away each time. ter ten o’clock. So, you’re talking about an seen, it’s another minority again who will go “The first time I went out, it was shortly entire day, and it’s not definite that you’re and do it. after nine o clock, and to be fair that was my going to be seen. One would assume if it’s “It’s not good enough for UCD students,” own fault, they said you have to be there at full at seven o’clock in the morning, that the he concluded. STI's: Colfer is unhappy about the current student facilities

College expansion underway ● Gateway project will mean radical changes ● An urban heart to be built on campus UCD's Gateway Project, that gets of interaction between the univer- is our intention that the architec- ing indicative designs and detailed underway today, will mean drastic Colin Gleeson sity, the local community and the ture of the campus will soon match designs of selected buildings within structural change for the image of wider visiting population to Dublin." its academic excellence. the Gateway area. It will also be the Belfield campus. services, retail outlets, a medical The university is inviting sub- Launching the competition, retained by the college to oversee Today, Tuesday October 31 sees centre, cr che facility, conference missions from leading from leading President of UCD, Dr. Hugh Brady, the implementation of the master the launch of a major architectural facilities, a hotel, offices for knowl- architecture firms from around stated, “"This is a highly prestig- plan design objectives. competition for the development. edge intensive businesses, other the world. A jury of internationally ious project, providing the world's The college spokesperson also The project will comprise cul- university executive and meeting renowned architects will produce a leading architects with an oppor- indicated, “a multi phased ap- tural, academic, leisure and busi- rooms and a provision for multi- shortlist of three to five candidates tunity to create an iconic landmark proach to the construction has ness facilities, and represents the storey car-parking. in January before selected the win- for Dublin and Ireland. The develop- been developed in order to allow start of the implementation of a “The key drive behind the ner next April. ment will enhance the working and each component of the project to fifteen-year UCD campus develop- project and the wider campus A college spokesperson declared, living environment for students and achieve targeted economic and ment plan. development plan," according to “The scale of the plan warrants staff and open up the campus to occupancy objectives, as well as to When built, the site is to include college authorities, “is the creation an architectural design of lasting local and wider communities." allow for the ongoing functioning a cultural centre with art house of a sustainable learning and living quality. The academic excellence The winning firm in the ar- of the university. Architects must cinema/film studies facility. It environment that would move the of many of the great universities of chitectural competition will be demonstrate an ability to be crea- is also to include new student university towards a more 24-7 the world in underlined and symbol- required to devise a master plan tive with respect to this phasing residential accommodation and campus and create a greater level ised by their great architecture. It for the competition area, includ- requirement." College Tribune 31st October 2006 NEWS FOCUS 7 Shambles Jane Horgan-Jones investigates the appalling state of accessibility for people with disabilities in UCD

Jean Daly is a Second Psychology student from Cork. Last Tuesday, her alarm went off at nine and she got up and dressed for her ten o’clock class in the Arts block. As she needed to drop something into reception in Belgrove, she passed by there on her way. However, as the door at the top of the wheelchair ramp is too small to let in a wheelchair, she wasn’t able to get in. When she finally got to the Arts block, running late, she then had to wait for someone to open the heavy double doors. After the lecture was finished, she arranged to meet a friend studying en- gineering for coffee in the Engineering Building. Before she could do that, how- ever, she had to use her mobile to ring ahead and make sure someone from services would be there to open the wheelchair accessible door in the build- ing, which is usually locked. After their cup of coffee, Jean went to the Daedalus building to use a compu- ter, but found that due to the layout of the rows of chairs, there wasn’t enough space for her wheelchair. Instead, Jean decided to go down to the Sports Centre to watch the wheel- chair basketball game at 1pm. However, arriving early, she found herself stuck outside the side access wheelchair ac- cessible door, unable to make easy con- tact with the front desk to ask some- body to let her in. Finally, she returned to the Arts block after the game and tried to lecture ad- dress her class about her role as Disabil- ity Rights Officer of the Students’ Union, but as she had no way of getting down to the front of the lecture theatre to talk to them face to face, she instead had to shout from the back of the room. Such a situation is one any wheelchair user in UCD could find themselves in on any given day. While UCD’s website clams that the college is “meeting the changing needs of students with a dis- ability”, many students like Daly beg to differ. DAEDALUS: POOR ACCESS ENGINEERING: POOR ACCESS Last year, this newspaper reported on the accessibility of the Sports Centre for Kevin Barnes in the Sports Centre this initiative, wheelchair users eating have to do is simply show the plans to teams on new projects”, there was no wheelchair users. Almost 12 months on, spoke to the College Tribune about in the Sports Café would have had to a wheelchair user and these problems indication of whether wheelchair us- Vivian Rath, last year’s SU Disabilities what progress had been made since leave the building and go down the would never occur. ers themselves were at all involved in Officer, feels that the issues he high- these ideas had been brought to his steep ramp at the back in order to ac- “My job predominantly consists of the processes. One must wonder how lighted then, have for the most part, not attention. cess the toilets on the lower floor. pointing out unnecessary mistakes to mistakes like those in the new toilets been resolved. “Six months ago, I received an indica- Jean Daly, current Disability Rights the authorities that shouldn’t have ever in Arts could ever have occurred if that “I think that there are two prongs to tion from the Higher Education Author- Officer in the Students’ Union, feels occurred in the first place. I don’t ex- had been the case. the issue of disability rights in UCD. In ity (HEA) that funding might be avail- that this sort of oversight is endemic pect non-wheelchair users to be able Although UCD’s rhetoric on the is- terms of sports themselves, the Sports able for the lift, and an application has to predict all the problems that may sue of disability access is and always Centre is moving forward at an accept- since gone in on our behalf from the arise, but I certainly expect them to at has been strong and progressive, the able rate – wheelchair basketball has Buildings Office. “There is always least ask. ” reality of the situation raises serious become really popular and wheelchair However, that was three or four more to be Even the most recent construction questions about their actual priorities. tennis is also underway. But in terms of months ago, and I haven’t yet heard work in UCD is not free of these errors. To date, the only area of campus to access, things don’t seem to have taken anything back. As for the buzzer on done in relation Although the new toilets in the Arts undergo an Access Audit is the Library. off in the same vein.” the door, the wiring has gone in and it to improving block have hand basins so state-of-the- Jean spoke of her frustration at the lack Rath’s suggestions to Sports Centre should be there before Christmas.” art that you don’t even need to manu- of action on key areas for people with staff included not only long-term goals While eventual progress is always accessibility ally turn them on, the disabled toilet disabilities. like the installation of a lift in order to to be welcomed, the suggestion that for people with facilities remain inadequate. The college responded to further make the gym and the reception desk it takes fifteen months and upwards An inward-opening door has made queries from the College Tribune regard- accessible to wheelchair users, but also to install a buzzer of the kind that we disabilities." it incredibly difficult for wheelchair us- ing these matters, by stating, “There is easier and cheaper short-term goals see everyday in flats and apartments ers to get in and have enough space always more to be done in relation to designed to improve the immediate is questionable. The first name in the to turn around to close the door, and improving accessibility for people with situation for wheelchair users such as a Golden Pages, Aardvark Electricians, of a wider problem within the college the support handle is too shaky to use. disabilities.” buzzer for the side door. was happy to quote the College Trib- relating to accessibility. Although this has been reported on “The college spent thousands light- This would allow users to independ- une a time span of less than a week to “There are so many small mistakes in numerous occasions to Services, the ing up the water tower and the Sports ently alert desk staff of their presence, install a similar system. every building around the college which problem remains unresolved. Centre for the 150th celebrations. without having to ring or, as he puts it, In recent months, a disabled toilet make my life much more difficult. When While Michael Rafter in the Buildings I can’t even get INTO the gym in the “rely on the kindness of other people to has also been installed on the middle UCD are constructing new buildings and Services Unit suggested that “ac- Sports Centre. They don’t prioritise us, get by”. floor of the Sports Centre. Previous to or renovating old ones, all they would cess issues are being flagged to design because we’re a small minority.” OPINION Time for new direction on immigration policy

Paul Dillon analyses the immigration policy of this country

This week, the government announced its decision not to allow people from Bulgaria and Romania the right to work here without permits when those countries join the European Union in January 2007. Sunset in Irag: A place where the normal rules of international relations are non existant Although only announced last week, the writing has been on the wall for some time with regard to this issue. The ESRI, whose pronouncements and predictions are a good indicator of what course of action the government generally takes, raised the case for restrictions some weeks ago. The opposition, across the board, made it clear there would be no opposition to such a move. Much of the media have been Like a game baying for blood with regard to immigration. With consensus at an elite level, and little organised opposition on the ground, restric- tion on the right to work for those coming from the new accession countries have came into being with relative ease. Some of what has been said by political, industrial and trade union figures in recent weeks has been entirely bogus. SIPTU President Jack O'Connor argued against the right to work here for of pinball... Bulgarians and Romanians on the ground that employment law is too weak to prevent a race to the bottom. However, the work permit system, which workers from non-EU countries and shortly Bulgaria and Roman also, have to endure, Eoin Mac Aodha argues that the nature of is a real cause of the race to the bottom. In Ireland, the employer, International Relations has been indelibly altered not the worker, holds work permits. This is a recipe for exploita- tion as it means that the workers' ability to resist bad treatment but the US has stubbornly refused to recognise this is severely limited because the work permit can be terminated at any time that suits the employer. This system, which will be strengthened significantly as a If the Cold War resembled a game of rugby ernmental agency like the UN we had two. Bearing this in mind consider the state of result of the government decision on the new accession countries, then the ‘War on Terror’ is like a game of States therefore had to justify their actions International Relations without States. Make is pushing wages and conditions down for all workers, regardless pinball. to their respective patrons. no mistake about it that’s what the ‘War on of their background. It might seem churlish to compare half a Writing just after the fall of the Berlin Wall Terror’ is. Labour Leader Pat Rabbitte has supported the decision on century of worldwide division to a sport but the respected political scientist John Mear- There is no higher authority. When groups the grounds that immigration from the new EU countries has put there are alarming similarities between the shimer wrote an article entitled ‘Why we will are transcending States no authority exists pressure on infrastructure. This is utter nonsense. The construc- two. soon miss the Cold War’. to row them in. tion and maintenance of infrastructure is the responsibility of the The Cold War saw the world segregated Showing considerable prophecy Mearshim- That’s where pinball comes in; in effect government. into two blocks with America on one side er predicted that the world would soon yearn it’s a game of luck. You hop a ball and you’re No section of the population can be blamed for the govern- and the USSR on the other. for the structure that the Cold War provided. pretty unsure where it’s going to go, the only ment's failure with regard for infrastructure. And besides, immi- In effect the world was divided into the In today’s climate it’s hard not to wish that thing you do know is that the ball’s coming gration into Ireland is a relatively new thing. There were problems capitalist free model economy on the one there were reds under our bed after all. back, where it’s coming from, but the speed with infrastructure long before there was significant inward and varying degrees of socialism on the International Relations is by its very na- is unknown. migration to Ireland. other. ture anarchic, States act purely out of their The initial ball in the ‘War on Terror’ has The ultimate responsibility for the decision on Bulgaria and Ro- Convinced of their ideologies the Cold been hopped, the where, who, what and mania obviously lies with the government. This decision cannot be War was fought out in proxy wars like Ko- "The ‘War on Terror' is how is pretty arbitrary. viewed in isolation from the government's approach to immigra- rea and Vietnam. Add to this covert support International Relations is now governed tion more generally. The approach, best represented by Justice by both blocs to sympathetic countries and a result of September by the concept of the ‘War on Terror’. It Minister Michael McDowell, is keen to pin the blame for many of resistance groups. 11 and the actions dominates news headlines and virtually Ireland woes on immigration. The most obvious example of this is every foreign conflict is now seen in its Who remembers the citizenship referendum? We were told Cuba. The exact details are perhaps not of al Qaeda. The prism. that the referendum must pass as the old system was allowing important but in this case both the US and US attempted to The war in Iraq is the most obvious ex- maternity wards to be clogged up by immigrant women and space the USSR made repeated covert attempts ample. The ‘War on Terror’ is a result of needed to be freed. to gain a stronghold. place accepted September 11 and the actions of al Qaeda. No evidence was ever produced to back up this claim but the Their bumblings led to the Cuban mis- The US attempted to place accepted norms message from the government was clear and delivered in time for sile crisis. norms onto an onto an exceptional situation by attacking the local elections of May 2004: Pressures on public services is In terms of the rugby analogy, America’s exceptional situation the Taliban. the fault of immigrants. and the USSR’s own spheres of influence When it failed to locate number one No space for a narrative that looked at the consequence of amounted to their own 22’s. The opposi- by attacking bogeyman Osama Bin Laden, the Bush privatisation on public services or the impact of the fact that the tion rarely foraged into these areas and did the Taliban" administration attempted to shift the goal- wealthy in Ireland are the least taxed in Europe. The new Immi- so only with ferocious determination. posts again by focusing on Iraq. gration Bill continues on where the citizenship referendum left The rest of the pitch was essentially open interest. Why would any State act out of in- The invasion was an attempt to graft the off, introducing ID cards for non-EU citizens and making it more game, with both sides rucking and mauling terest for another State? What leader could warped neo-con view of a democratised and difficult for asylum seekers whose case is rejected to appeal. The away to their hearts contents attempting to realistically justify his actions on the basis ‘safe’ Middle East by invading Iraq. Again the act signals the government's determination to appear suspicious further their influence in the hope of getting that it benefited a neighbouring state at his US tried to fight an unconventional war by of immigration. into the other sides 22. own states detriment? attempting to stick to established norms of Meanwhile, the decision on Bulgaria and Romania will make In the end the fall of the Berlin Wall was This central tenet of International Rela- International Relations where none existed. no difference whatsoever on the number of workers from those the first try of the Cold War, the first time tions should be remembered the next time The US thought they were still playing countries coming to Ireland. If there are vacancies, their services that one side made it all the way over the any US Foreign Policy chief declares that the rugby adopting a ‘you’re either with us or will be sought out by Employers in their home countries. others’ line. All the other minor victories Iraqi invasion was a benevolent attempt to against us policy’, attempting to once again The difference between having the right to work and having were confined to long-range penalty efforts. liberate the oppressed Iraqi people. Or that divide the world into two blocs. a work permit is that the latter is blank cheque for exploitation The essential point is that the Cold War the Afghan invasion occurred because the What they failed to realise was that not while the former allows more leverage for workers to assert their was in many ways a step away from the an- Taliban were contravening their own peoples’ only had the goalposts shifted, the entire rights. archic nature of International Relations. By human rights. game had changed. dividing the world into two blocks a struc- No state would commit troops, equipment Eoin Mac Aodha holds an MA in In- Paul Dillon is a former president of the Students' Union ture emerged. and large amounts of money without calcu- ternational Relations and is a former Rather than have one effective intergov- lating whether it was in its own interest. Editor of the College Tribune College Tribune 31st October 2006 COMMENT 9 LETTERS Box 74, Student Centre & LG 18, Newman Building, Dublin 4 Telephone: 01 - 7168501 E-mail: [email protected] The College Tribune reserves the right to edit all letters. The views expressed on this page are the views of the letter writers and do not reflect the views of the College Tribune. The Coke Issue Editorial

Sir, No business is obliged to stock any item which they do not Ms. Jane Horgan-Jones seems preoccupied with Stephen Quin- wish to. However, it would be very short-sighted, and poor com- livan. In her rather weak letter to your last issue (issue 2) she mercial judgement on the part of any business, not to stock Disability questioned his ‘preoccupation’ with his right to purchase Coca- those products which their consumers demand the most - be Cola. Thank you for pointing out the obvious, that this is indeed they Coca-Cola, or any other product - merely due to some half- his right. assed belief or prejudice. She also quite observantly pointed out that Mr. Quinlivan is Finally, on a note of advice to Ms.Horgan-Jones, if in future she Access indeed a student of business. In addition to that, she was very plans to write a letter or make an argument a few things should clever to be able to state that every commercial entity has a right be kept in mind. She should not wholly rely on her obvious jeal- to select which products it will and will not stock. ousy towards Mr. Quinlvian and his faculty, and upon the results he issue of disabilities in this college is one Despite the commercial prowess Ms. Horgan-Jones clearly dis- of referenda which were voted on before the majority of current that rarely rears its head in public spheres. plays above, as a student of Arts she understandably still had students were attending UCD. TBut the truth of the matter is, that while there questions in her letter to which she sought answers. are radical plans in place to expand the university, In her attempt at a rousing statement she asked, “Perhaps Mr. Yours, UCD remains an inhospitable environment for Quinlivan would like to argue that businesses should be obliged to Brian Sugrue those carrying a disability. sell certain products at the whim of customers”. Let me attempt BBLS Level 3 The current situation regarding access to to explain to her a few things about how commerce works. Treasurer B+L Society buildings for people in wheelchairs is frightening. It is very easy for the well-intentioned, able- bodied person to go about UCD and see nothing wrong. But the fact remains that that which the able bodied take for granted, such as a step or Union money in swinging doors on toilet cubicles, can cause mayhem for those in a wheelchair. The real issue here is dignity. While there are Dear Sir, While I support the shell to sea campaign, I do not support buildings in UCD that can accommodate for those students’ money funding it. Students’ money should be going in wheelchairs, many students are required to I am writing in relation to Mark Cavanan’s article ‘SU president into improving UCD’s welfare and education and improving the phone ahead in order for arrangements to be undecided about shell to sea’ in your last issue. everyday life of the UCD student. made for ramps to be put in place, and doors to be While the president maybe undecided, union council is most UCD students should be aware of where union money is be- unlocked. This is unacceptable. This leaves people certainly not and is spending hundreds of euro of students’ mon- ing spent. dependent on others to make their way around ey on helping the shell to sea campaign. the campus. Last week, the union council paid a couple of hundred euro for Yours, There is an urgent need for the college a bus to take a handful of UCD students and many people totally Elisa O’Donovan authorities to re-evaluate their priorities and put unaffiliated with the college to a shell protest in Mayo. 3rd Medicine SU Representative systems in place that will rectify the dire state of Belfi eld as a campus for the disabled. The Sports Centre is one area that is in a truly shocking state. There is no lift to get from fl oor to fl oor, and to access the building itself; you must enter through a side-door, which is usually locked. The restaurant is as bad, where students with a disability must pass through the kitchen in order to get into the main dining area. Dignity indeed. This is a topic on which this newspaper has reported on in the past, and the coming weeks will see a campaign from this paper, that hopes to see these issues rectifi ed sooner rather than later. Fake Observer Leaflets

he distribution of fake University Observers on campus last week was undoubtedly a cheap Tshot from the group in question. Regardless of pro-life or pro-choice views, the University Observer was reporting the news on the front page that has been ridiculed by this leafl et. This is what newspapers do. Reporting somebody else’s views does not mean that the reporter adheres to those views himself. This attack on one of this college’s newspapers is currently under investigation, and it would send a valuable message out to radicals such as those responsible for this, that this type of behavior, this type of propaganda, will not be accepted from any corner of civilised society. College Tribune 10 FEATURES 31st October 2006 “It's the people at the bottom who'll pay" Simon Ward speaks to the experts about the diffi culties facing fi rst-time house buyers, and why the property market has become so daunting for the young

Meet Alan. Twentysomething. Good While the economy began to grow, job, nice car, reasonable haircut. He’s the emigration trend was bucked and as found a fine young lady and wants to people started coming to these shores, settle down. Time to take the next step those estimates wildly underestimated and find some shelter. Luckily for Alan the reality of the demand. the year is 1980, and the most expen- As the demand soared, house prices sive purchase he’s ever likely to make is took a similar take off into the strato- relatively affordable. sphere. The government needed to do Fast-forward to chilly winter in 2006 something. Lee states, “The government and you may encounter Matthew, a mem- were very concerned about what was ber of the next generation. Matthew is happening to house prices from 1997 a child of Celtic Tiger Ireland. But such onwards. privileges come with a rather nasty con- “All the analysis showed that investors sequence. While his father Alan has long were driving out first time buyers. Inves- since paid for his home in full, Matthew tors were looking at the property mar- will be splashing out until his retirement. ket, they had easy access to money, they “It’s the people at the bottom who’ll were out there and they were bidding up pay and drive up the house prices,” re- the price of whatever houses were be- marks RTE economic correspondent ing built.” George Lee, “and the people at the bot- Quick adaptation to the changing situ- tom are the younger people. ation was required he continues, “When “Now there is a transfer of wealth you see that you’re forecasts are wrong, Increase: House prices from them to you change as in the house market and house prices ing investors’ demand for holiday homes, continue to surge all over the older gen- quickly as you began to fall slightly, but as soon as they for second homes.” Dublin erations, where "All the analysis can, that’s the did the government removed the restric- As a result, the housing market re- people who showed that investors essence of tions – probably more to do with politics sumed its upward climb as boldly as a predict when that bubble is going to fall had small lit- good policy.” than the economics.” Saturn V rocket. Good news for Alan who apart or burst. tle tiny houses, were driving out So, with the These restrictive goalposts were wid- is safely strapped in, but Matthew spec- Until that point, what can prospective who paid vir- first time buyers. beat of the ened significantly in favour of the inves- tating at the launch base might feel just buyers do to ease the pain? Lee is pes- tually nothing hosing market tor in the bizarre political and economic a little aggrieved. simistic. “I have to say that I would think for them are Investors were looking vigorous to climate, which followed the 9/11 terrorist Once the economy emerged from the long and hard before I buy into it, and I’d suddenly mil- at the property the point of attacks on New York. “[After] September vulnerable times of the 2001 and stag- be exploring my options elsewhere first. I lionaires. We heart attack, 11th 2001, globally there was a big fear of gered back onto a more stable path, one regret having to say that but I don’t buy haven’t got a market, they were the govern- the big bad shock that was going to hap- might presume a return to adherence it, I think that they can get stuffed, I just clue about how bidding up the price ment sent for pen to the global economy.” of the Bacon report’s recommendations. feel that if they really want in our soci- to live in a rich an emergency This wasn’t the only reason, however. However where it once had a voice that ety, to have the value of young educated society be- of whatever houses medic. Enter Intensive lobbying rained down from the could demand the attention of the entire people contributing in a broad sense in cause we have were being built" the Peter Ba- building sector, especially with a general room, it now seems toothless and voice- society, they need to make it possible for these strange con report of election looming. Lee explains, “There less. them to do it. values in relation to this society. It’s a 2000. “The Bacon reports suggested was major, major lobbying by the builders, This, according to Lee, has been to the “I think the fact that some poor young very me thing, a very me way of looking - ‘Ok what you have got to do is make and you hear people talking about the detriment of first-time buyers. “The gov- people who have to take up a 40 year at the world.” it more difficult for investors to crowd political tents in place s like the Galway ernment have spent the last five years mortgage for a two bedroom apartment How did we get to such a situation? out first time buyers and so these extra Races, but the builders had a very big ef- doing nothing, only egging investors on, in Greystones or in Bray or in Laois and “A fundamental mistake was made here taxes were brought in to discourage in- fect, even with the opposition parties. and in the those five years interests rates travel each day to their work for two in the 1980s in relation to housing and vestors,” recalled Lee. “The Irish government from September stayed far lower and the money was al- hours, I think that that deal is not on, not it’s all to do with the expectations about Indeed such measures were imple- 2001 onwards decided with the election ways available” for me.” the population. It was believed that the mented by the government, and to some in 2002, that it would remove all barriers But as house prices climb higher and Irish population was going to decline and effect. Frank Walsh of UCD’s Economics to investors in the property market. And higher, is it a case of a bubble waiting to remain very flat. department explained, “the government so they took them away. The three Bacon burst, or will they ascend ever higher? “I “One forecast predicted housing de- brought in the restrictions on investors reports were cancelled because there believe there is a ‘bubble’ in that market mand in the middle of the next decade was an election on, at the same time and that houses are grossly overpriced at would be for no more than 14,000 hous- interest rate [was] scaled down, and so the moment, the trouble is you can’t es, of which 8,000 would be replace- you suddenly had these tax breaks driv- ment, which meant 6,000 new houses a year.” explained Joe Durkan, a professor on the Irish Economy in UCD’s Depart- ment of Economics. College Tribune 31st October 2006 FEATURES 11 Painting the political Claire Spelman speaks to one of Ireland’s most popular and political painters, Robert Ballagh, about painting the war in Iraq and the concept of nationalism

“Picasso once said, “There are times considering the proportion of his paint- artists take stands on things. I think when it is irresponsible for an artist ings displayed in his recent exhibition in it’s entirely up to the artist himself. not to take a stand.” He was talking the RHA for which politics was clearly But even if in your work you don’t about the Spanish civil war. “But cer- the central theme. take a stand, there are, as Picasso tainly I would think that at the mo- Ballagh clarified this assertion, “I’ve said, some issues that demand for ment the war in Iraq would be a defin- always said that my art isn’t political art the sake of humanity that artists as ing moment for artists,” according to but its art that’s made by a very politi- well as other people stand up and be famous Irish painter Robert Ballagh. cal person. By nature I’m quite a politi- counted.” Ballagh designed the final series of cal person, I’ve always been interested in Despite his great enthusiasm for Irish banknotes before the introduction politics. I try to keep up with events both representations of the political, Bal- of the Euro, so there is not an Irish soul nationally and internationally and even lagh cautions that although events over the age of ten who is not at least though my work by and large isn’t politi- of great public achievement or injus- inadvertently familiar with his work. cal with a capital P, often politics seeps tice should be the subject of art and Much of his paintings deal with figures in some small, and hopefully subliminal, literature, an artist should not feign from Irish history in a political manner. way.” interest or understanding if it is not Since 1967 when he began to paint, Author Danny Morrison, in his recent there. Doing so undermines the integ- Ballagh has not shied from the public book ‘Hunger Strike’, suggested that art- rity of the work. “I think artists have eye. An avid na- ists have a social to be honest with themselves above tionalist, his art responsibility, criti- all, because if they’re not honest with is inspired by his "Even if in your cising poet Seamus themselves they’re being dishonest personal political work you don't take Heaney’s failure to and a dishonest artist is no use to views and laden respond to the 1981 us at all.” with references to a stand, there are, hunger strikes. Bal- As well as having become both – and depictions as Picasso said, lagh defends the an important and popular painter, of – famous char- right of the artist Ballagh has had a successful and lu- acters and events some issues that to refrain from po- crative career as a designer. He has recent in Irish his- demand for the sake litical allusions in been employed several times by the tory. One of his of humanity that their work. “People government as a designer, becoming paintings, ‘Slan are always attack- almost a civil servant despite the Abhaile’, depicts artists as well as ing Seamus for not anti-establishment tone of many of British Soldiers other people stand being more politi- his works, particularly from the early returning home cal. But I think an stage of his career. He has produced from Northern up and be counted" artist can only be over 70 stamps for An Post, limited Ireland. This has truthful to himself, prints, posters, book covers and sev- been mimicked in the form of a mural and at crucial times Seamus has come eral murals, and once worked as an in Ardoyne Avenue, in a Nationalist area out and said things. He is more a poet engineering draughtsman. of Belfast. of the personal than a political public The influence of this work is to be He is the artist behind the famous poet. So I’d be disinclined to be criticis- seen in his paintings, which are care- and popular painting of Dr Noel Browne, ing him.” fully constructed; he never begins a which hangs in the National Gallery. However it is clear that Ballagh be- painting without a clear plan of what Other figures that feature in his work lieves the artist does belong in the politi- the finished piece will look like. The include Gerry Adams, Charles Haughey, cal sphere and should engage with social artistic process for Ballagh often in- Charles Stuart Parnell and James Con- and political matters even if they can’t volves rulers, setsquares and tracing nolly. But despite popular focus on the achieve this in their art, the war in Iraq paper. The results are photo-realistic, politics of his art Bal- being a current event that and indeed he always paints from lagh maintains that ought to serve as a call to photographs. it is only as a result action. This approach has resulted in his of his own personal “Certainly I think [art- critics saying that his drawings are too interest that politics ists] should in some illustrative and his references and allu- seeps into his work shape or form stand up sions heavy-handed and blatant. They and that he does and argue against this claim that this is because he is truly a not set out to create war. If they’re unable to graphic designer before he is an artist, specifically ‘Political deal with it in their own and raise the question, is Ballagh an Art’. This is surprising work, that’s fine, but then artist who moonlights as a designer or vice-versa? Has he not made some compromises in spite of his political standpoint and emphasis on artistic ‘honesty’ in the effort to make a liv- ing? Does this not bring his duty to be Self Portrait: Robert Ballagh's unique form of art an ‘honest artist’ and his need to earn a livelihood into direct conflict? sible to a wide range of people. So I’ve tration”, that it’s simple to understand. A recent painting depicts Gerry Ad- always – and I’ve been criticised for this They saw this as a fault, whereas I would ams on a mountain surveying below him – used a language in painting that is ac- see that as a merit.” a rolling Irish landscape. Critics would say cessible to a broad mass of the public. I Ballagh is impressively philosophical that this sort of piece is clumsy, its mes- tend to avoid using elitist language that about reviews of his work, both good sage over-obvious. Critics claim that, if he would create artforms that would neces- and bad. “Negative reviews don’t disturb paints at the level of what he believes sarily involve a small audience. me in the least, and then hugely positive to be the common man’s understanding, “That is my goal and thankfully [his ones should be taken with a grain of salt perhaps they should sign he risks under-underestimating the intel- recent retrospective exhibition in Dublin’s because certainly when you set yourself petitions or do the things ligence of his audience. RHA gallery] succeeded in that goal in against the cannon of, in my case, west- that everyone else does. “I really do believe in a wide audience that they got very big crowds going in. ern painting, it would be a bit arrogant to I think it’s very danger- for art, a sort of a democratic impulse. I Several of the people who reviewed the start getting very big notions about your- ous to start insisting that believe that art is a visual language and show seemed to think this was a fault. self when you contrast yourself with the that it should be acces- They spoke about my work being “illus- great artists of the past.” College Tribune 12 FEATURES 31st October 2006 ‘‘TheyThey nneedeed ttoo bbee recognised aass peoplepeople andand nonot forgotten'

“It is a common perception that homeless people means middle-aged men with a raincoat, maybe a Alexa Byrne investigates the problem of homelessnes bottle in a pocket, that they don't wash that they have a problem with drink and they don't work" in Dublin and speaks with the founder of Focus Ireland explains Sister Stanislaus Kennedy, founder of the Irish homelessness charity, Focus Ireland. Focus Ireland, an Irish charity aids the homeless statement, “Many people can't [benefit from the majority don't beg or sleep on park bench It is a stereotype that she challenges, “When I of Ireland, is to give homeless people “the dignity Celtic Tiger]. It's the reality that the rising tide have ended up without a home for a varie set up Focus Ireland; one of the big things was to and respect and the life that they deserve." doesn't lift all boats. It's a very difficult job, to reasons. Kennedy explained, “We make a change people's attitudes, to make people realise Kennedy feels that the most important thing a get a house, to build a home. Most of us have dif- tion between people on the streets that's that homeless people were men and women, old person can do is merely to recognise the human- ficulty with it, so if you have some other prob- group of people and another group that a and young, some had children and some didn't ity of a homeless person and not simply walk on lems, maybe you've a mental health need, maybe hostels, and there's another group that a have children and that they came from different by and ignore the beggar at your feet. “I think the your family broke up, maybe you leave home at kind of transitional housing or in B&Bs. T kinds of backgrounds." most important thing we a very young age, all all homeless [in t There are approximately can do is try to commu- these things. they don't have a 3000 homeless people living "It's not the nicate with people who “These are multi- If they're in emergency curity of home." in Dublin today, including government's job to are out there. Recognis- ple problems, and if accommodation or “We've always over 400 children. So what ing that they are people. you're in one of those percentage of our do you do when you pass give people homes. That's the most impor- situations, you're not transitional housing that was local aut a homeless person on the It's your job to find tant thing for any of us, as clear-headed and they still haven't got a ity. For example, street? Do you pass them and they are people too you're not as able to do 12.6% of our hou by, telling your conscience your own home. This and it's very important for things as if you were, home, so to me, they're was local authorit that they are probably just a is leftover thinking them." you know, reared in a still homeless. You're meant it was so t junkie who'd spend anything Journalist Kevin Myers family where you went people on low inco you give them on drink and from the welfare recently stated contro- to school, maybe went homeless until you could rent them. drugs? state concept" versially in The Dubliner to college, were edu- have a secure home. that percentage h In Britain, Westminster magazine, “it's not the cated and had people down to 6.9%. It City Council has launched a to mind its citizens government's job to give at your back, it's a Sister Stanislaus Kennedy, halved, and that's campaign called ‘Killing with Kevin Myers people homes. It's your totally different situation. I Focus Ireland pened during our best yea Kindness', which urges people job to find your own home. think people do need help. state has not kept pace w not to give to beggars as it contributes to drug This is leftover thinking from the welfare state “I think we really need to rethink the whole need. We have a huge housing list now; it overdoses. Kennedy agrees, “I would encourage concept, the idea that the state was put into business of housing and homes and really help, from 19,000 in 1989 to 46,000 household people to see if they're hungry and to buy them existence to mind its citizens. All [the state] can particularly young people. I believe the state has 2005, that's about 130,000 people who a a sandwich, and to give the money to a charity. do is enable us to create the conditions where we a responsibility for those people who are on low ing for houses." Handing out a few bob from the pocket is really are able to make our own homes and make incomes and who cannot afford to buy, I think Conversely, the Homeless Agency, wh not taking a responsibility, and it is true that our own lives. That's the the state has a responsibility to put in place dinates government-funded homeless se some of them can use it for state's duty. It's not to social and affordable housing that will be at their claims that the number of people sleeping drink and drugs." provide homes for us." disposal." streets has fallen by 33% in the last four The mission Kennedy consid- Less than 200 homeless people actually sleep But Kennedy believes that these figures statement of ers this an unfair rough on the streets of Dublin. However, the huge misleading and that the government does College Tribune 17th October 2006 FEATURESFEATURES 13 ‘They need to be recognisedecognised as people and not forgotten'forgotten'

to do more, “It depends on your way of looking on ages, might suggest a connection to some of us. ss homelessness. However, the majority of immigrants find housing “The [numbers of] people out there on the in the private sector, which is not available to the street have reduced because there's more unemployed homeless of Ireland. (In fact, there is emergency accommodation but that doesn't an abundance of unoccupied housing in Ireland, hes, but mean that overall the numbers have decreased. which cannot be utilised by those homeless seek- ety of If they're in emergency accommodation or tran- ing accommodation, as it is the private property distinc- sitional housing they still haven't got a home, so of individuals.) If immigration has exacerbated s one to me, they're still homeless. You're homeless the problem, it is because of economic im- are in until you have a secure home." migrants who find themselves on the streets, are in a Many people believe that the majority of perhaps in worse conditions than they had been They're beggars have ended up on the streets due to in previous to their arrival in Ireland. hat] substance abuse. 50% Kennedy explains, any se- of the residents in the “There's a trickle of Simon Community's "Many people when they immigrants becoming had a Emergency shelter find they are homeless homeless already. So, r housing have problems with they can easily slip into thor- alcohol and 12% have turn to drink or drugs. homelessness if they in 1989 a drug problem. How- They [may not be] on can't get a job early on sing ever, a person can end or even if they lose their ty that up homeless for many drink or drugs first, but job within the first two that reasons, not only their life is so awful and years. There are people omes because they come sleeping on the streets Now, from a background of they feel so helpless, who are really trying to has gone poverty, but because that they turn to that" get a job but it's very 's nearly of domestic problems hard, if you're sleeping s hap- like violence or sexual Sister Stanislaus Kennedy, out or in an emergency ars. The abuse, mental health prob- Focus Ireland place. It's really difficult to be with the lems, and leaving prison or able to dress well and a whole lot 's gone the care system. of things. I'm dealing with immigrants with the ds in Kennedy believes that substance abuse prob- immigrants' council and they're so like the Irish are wait- lems are often the result because of homeless- who went to London and who fell into bad times." ness and are not in fact the cause, “Many people So, with such a problem in our society, is the ich coor- when they find they are homeless turn to drink or state neglecting its duty of care to its citizens? rvices, drugs. They [may not be] on drink or drugs first, Kennedy thinks so. “I think certainly the housing g on the but their life is so awful, and they feel so awful, issue is totally neglected. Especially during our r years. and they feel so helpless, that they turn to that." affluent years. To think that our housing waiting are The influx of immigrants into Ireland in recent list has doubled during the Celtic Tiger years, I s need years, and the parallel rise of housing short- mean that's a disgrace." College Tribune 14 FEATURES 31st October 2006

““It'sIt's likelike therethere aarere fourfour BBono's,ono's, oonene oonn eeachach Susan Cahill speaks to Dave Fanning about U2 and their representation of ccontinent"ontinent" Ireland on an international scale

“U2 are as cool as you can get,” remarks DJ Dave excess of $700 million, wants to save on his tax lovers, they have served for years as international chance to be powerful they used it well not like Fanning, “they are the biggest single reference bill, perhaps that’s understandable. What he and ambassadors for their country, one thrust upon others at live aid etc, for 21 years Bono has used point for Ireland, way beyond James Joyce or the U2 have done is what many businesses do to avoid them by fame and which they have played admira- his time off well, and it’s not like he does it on a IRA, and you just can’t escape them. taxation — seek jurisdictions with lower rates. bly, and only the most cynical could suggest that part time basis, at times it’s like there are four Bo- “You certainly don’t have to necessarily like them However, Bono has consistently urged the U.S. their tireless work for charity is purely for the ben- no’s, one on each continent”. U2 and mainly Bono in order to realise the things they have achieved. I government to use its own citizens’ tax dollars to efit of their image. have become highly influential in humanitarian was out in Cambodia and the only pizza available finance other nations’ social programs and forgive At a time when Ireland needed something ‘hip’ work and in particular in their attempts to have out there came from a pizzeria called “U2 Pizza Third World countries’ debts, hence the cries of to associate itself with, there were U2 – the kings Third World debt eradicated. House. You cannot escape the global nature of “hypocrite” from the Irish of cool, ready and will- Bono, of course, is an iconic entity on his own. U2. media. ing to fly the flag of their One of the most recognisable men on the planet, “The funny thing is, nobody should last long- Even Fanning, an early ad- They'll never be homeland. Serving as he has used his celebrity to his advantage and has er than 10 years in the music business and after vertiser of the merits of the quite as big as the ambassadors for Ireland, become one of the most famous lobbyists in the 26 years U2 are still going strong and still look- band and a fan ever since, essentially they were the world, and an avid campaigner for human rights. ing cool despite being in their forties – it seems agrees with the criticisms Beatles, but longevity first band to make it big His recent nomination for a Nobel Peace Prize wrong almost.” leveled against the group. wise U2 are still across the Atlantic, going is the proof that his hard work has been noticed Until recently, U2 had kept their base firmly “People should never get off where no other Irish act outside the world of the media. For Fanning, “they planted in their hometown of Dublin. They have paying their taxes as some- arguably the biggest had gone and essentially have never really put a foot wrong, in terms of be- become well known for their social conscience one else ends up paying band in the world putting us on the map and ing ambassadors for goodness. At times, it seems and their involvement in various international twice the money.” bursting the doors open that U2 is the part time gig these days, its really causes. He believes that the decision, originally made culturally for Ireland. amazing what they’ve done”. With all the press attention given to Bono’s hu- under Haughey’s government, to exempt artists To date U2 have sold approximately 50.5 mil- After 30 years in the music business, Bono is manitarian lobbying efforts to fight poverty and from income tax was wrong. “People who write lion albums in the U.S. and upwards of 170 million now a fully-fledged member of ‘the elite’, mixing disease in the Third World, you might think his glo- songs or create art, no matter how poor they are, worldwide. They have had six number one albums with world leaders and diplomats. Has his deter- bal instruction was entirely altruistic. Not this time, should still pay their taxes, everyone does what in the United States and nine number one albums mination to save the world been at the expense rather, he has also demonstrated how dramatically they can to not pay too much tax. At the end of in the UK and are considered by many as one of of those who initially aided his rise? Is he just a one’s behaviour can be affected when the issue the day [U2] have existed in Ireland for 20 years the most successful bands of the rock era. deluded rock star thinking he can make things bet- becomes personal. and they put us on the map, but does that mean The band has won 22 Grammy awards, more ter? Whatever the case, there is no doubt that U2 U2 have moved their business empire from Ire- they shouldn’t pay taxes?” than any other recording artist. Fanning reiter- have been loyal ambassadors for Ireland over the land to Holland to avoid paying taxes recently im- Those who are quick to criticise the group, ates the fact that “they were the first Irish band past 30 years. posed on them by the government’s capping of the however, might be recommended to pause first to make it big in the United States. Thin Lizzy and Fanning concludes, “They’ll never be quite as big previously infinite exemption of income tax where to consider the benefits they have brought to the The Boomtown Rats were successful, but nothing as the Beatles, but longevity wise U2 are still ar- income was made from creative, artistic endeav- country, not merely in economic terms. like the global phenomenon of U2.” guably the biggest band in the world, it’s almost our such as songwriting. Though often derided today as arrogant, and Fanning is adamant that U2 have put their pow- immoral. They have been around the 80’s, 90’s and If Bono, whose estimated worth is said to be in overlooked by the new generation of Irish music- er and influence to good use. “When they got the still now, it’s truly bizarre, but really cool”. College Tribune 31st October 2006 FEATURES 15 Old feast, new fears Matthew Parkinson-Bennett explores the history of Halloween and wonders, what can our approach to it teach us about ourselves?

A Halloween tradition of Ireland in the re- cent past involved choosing blindfolded one of three different dishes, which con- tained water – which suggested emigration in one’s future – a ring, symbolising mar- riage, or clay. The final option indicated an approaching death. Death is at the thematic centre of Hallow- een, represented in costumes of ghouls and ghosts, imagery of skeletons and mummies, and bonfire side stories of the supernatural spirit world. The dead are at the centre of the Christian tradition of All Hallows Day, from which the name Halloween (the eve of that holy day) is derived. That feast has its roots in the ancient Celt- ic festival of Samhain, when the boundaries between the supernatural and the ‘real world’ became eroded, and the spirits of the dead walked the Earth. The Celts dressed them- selves as ghoulish figures to avoid the wrath of those evil spirits who sought to prey on humans on that night, from which we derive the Halloween custom of costumes. What appears to be new, however, to the festival, is the concept of ‘scariness’. Tel- evision schedules for scary films and stories dominate October 31 designed to frighten viewers. For us, representations of death, of ghosts, and of the supernatural typically elicit neatly assigned to one of the realms of the face carved on it and a candle burning within, fear. But for the Ancient Celtic inventors of afterlife, and the lingering notion that they as a staple of Halloween decoration. However, Halloween, the festival was a ritual celebra- might at certain times walk the Earth was this tradition is a mutation of a practice once tion of death, the dead and the supernatural. disconcerting to the new, Christian outlook. carried-out in Ireland and Britain almost iden- How is it, then, that the festival has sur- Perhaps it was thus that the concepts of evil tical, but involving turnips. Turnips were far vived to some extent in form, but not in and that which is fearful were introduced more common in Europe than pumpkins; yet purpose? Why has it changed, and what can to the Halloween festival, where previously now, because of the influence of American those changes tell us about the differences death had been a reality to be celebrated. culture, only pumpkins are typically used. between contemporary Irish culture and the Our culture, not only fears death, but it Mummies are a common Halloween cos- ancient Celtic civilisation? worships life and youth. The young are the tume, as is that of Frankenstein’s monster or The festival of Samhain was the Celtic primary target audience of the most public Dracula. All of these are beings made popu- equivalent of the New Year. It ended the peri- of commercial endeavors, as is demonstrated lar by American cinema: the first instance in od of Bealtaine, which began in May, and ush- by the age groups both producing and con- fiction of a Mummy come to life occurs in ered in the winter, a period of darkness and suming chart music and popular cinema. the 1932 film, The Mummy, while Dracula and scarcity of food. One might presume, then, Increased longevity and the appearance of Frankenstein have been popularised by cin- that the Celtic New Year’s Eve was a morose youth (i.e. plastic surgery) are major preoccu- ematic depictions of novels. The phrase, ‘Trick affair, with the people looking forward to the pations of the scientific and medical worlds. or Treat’, was popularised by a 1952 Disney harsh months ahead with fear. But, the hard- The concept of fearing death would have film of that name, though the practice is de- ships of the cold period prepared for by the been quite alien to our Celtic predecessors. rived from a Medieval practice of the poor stockpiling of resources, this was not neces- And yet, we share with them the practice of begging door-to-door for food in exchange for sarily the case. dressing as dead or undead characters at the promise of prayers for dead relatives. The Celts, it is known, associated darkness Halloween, and of surrounding ourselves on So on the one hand, we have the asser- and the moon with life, where we asso- tion that our culture today fears and ciate light and the sun. Their emphasis While it has retained much even hates death; on the other, the real- was not on the growing plant, fed by of the appearance of its ity that Halloween and its traditions have sunlight, but on the seed, wombed in the increased in popularity. There seems to dark underground, and its potential for previous, pagan self, it can be a discrepancy here, but if we look at future life. Their year began with dark- be seen to have mutated in the nature of the contemporary approach ness, out of which light and life would ways which are very telling to Halloween, we might understand how emerge. of the differences between this can be. The Samhain festival, with its empha- While in the past, imagery of the dead sis on representations and the presence our culture and that which used at Halloween entailed a great re- of death, was a celebration of death, invented the feast day spect for the dead and for death. Today which open the path to regeneration and there appears to be a comedic element new life. The food traditionally left for wan- that night with visual representations of both to that imagery. Repackaged during the years dering spirits, and the bed of straw prepared death and the supernatural. Is this merely a when consumer culture flourished in the for them beside the hearth, was as much for remnant of an old tradition, lingering in our US, ancient Celtic traditions are then re-sold the sake of hospitality as for placation. culture but destined to dwindle and disap- here. Perhaps the mass-produced form of so After the arrival of St. Patrick in the fifth pear? much retailed decoration, the connection to century, Christians striving to convert the pa- It doesn’t seem so: Halloween is today cinema, and the humorous element attached gan population of Ireland adopted and adapt- honored with a bank holiday, and is very to so much of that imagery, have conspired ed existing pagan festivals. It was thus that much alive and healthy as a festival. Yet, to eliminate any element of respectful depic- Samhain, which always fell on a full moon, while it has retained much of the appearance tion. was given a regular occurrence according to of its previous, pagan self, it can be seen to What is it replaced with? That imagery has the Roman calendar and dedicated to the re- have mutated in ways which are very telling entered the world of entertainment, but to membrance of all those dead who were ap- of the differences between our culture and what end, if any, it is hard to tell, largely be- proved by the Christian God, that is, who had that which invented the feast day. cause any such goal would surely be subcon- ascended to Paradise. Irish emigrants to the New World of Ameri- sciously formulated. It might be, however, that Christianity, whose theological develop- ca in the years after the Famine brought with such a repackaging of the ‘scary’ represents ment had by then been influenced by Ancient them their own traditions, some of which an attempt to conquer that which we other- Greek philosophy, also introduced to Ireland a were derived from ancient Celtic practices. wise fear to contemplate or represent. new system of thought based on binary op- Halloween, for whatever reason, was one of By process of commodification and co- positions, that is, built around such concepts those that spread and made its way into the medification, we allow ourselves to behold as good versus evil, life versus death etc. common consciousness of the new civilisa- the supernatural, the dark and the dead, This entailed an association of the super- tion being founded in America. within the comfort zone of our entertain- natural and the spirits of the dead with evil; We accept the image of a ‘Jack o’ Lantern’, ment - and security - obsessed contempo- the souls of the dead were supposed to be made from a scoured-out pumpkin with a rary culture. College Tribune 16 FEATURES 31st October 2006 Food for thought THE Eoin Murphy looks at the options available to students who wish to URBINE eat healthy and remain at their physical peak in college T “For concentration, what students nutritious value of such meals: “If you really need are carbohydrate foods are eating a diet that is kind of high in that release energy slowly into chips and burgers and things like that, the body. That would be things like it means that your diet is really high in INSIDE brown bread, brown rice, potatoes saturated fats and salt. These types of with skins on them, things like that,” foods should probably be reserved for explained Aileen McGloyn from The maybe once a week as a treat.” National Nutrition Surveillance Cen- The restaurant is very consistent in tre. its choices for the main course, which People are naturally drawn to fatty have barely changed over the years. foods due to an evolutionary process. Pork/Chicken and gravy, with chips In the past, we needed to build up is a very common choice. Another stores of fat in common times of plenty, "[The restaurant] choice to help in times is the of scarcity. This has deep fried this, “Slop” option, might go some that, and chips which includes way to explaining Shepard’s Pie, why chips and are served with Lasagne and other fatty foods everything. I have the ‘Beef in a form a staple of liquid’ dish. One UCD students’ been talking to suspects the on-campus diet. students, and they chef does not But this may not place much im- be an advisable said that in the portance on the option for stu- evening, its just creative side of dents. cooking. There are chips and sausages The new can- those UCD stu- and things like that. teen in the Sci- dents whose on- ence building, campus diet consists mostly of rolls Elements, seems to have reacted to (also included in this category are the lack of dietary options available in wraps, salad bowls, anything you can UCD, and their menu, while not cheap, get from 911, Centra or The Grind), and does offer a wide variety of foods for those who prefer the full dinner op- breakfast, lunch and dinner. Elements’ tions available. The “dinner people”, as general manager, Shauna Hanratty, they like to be known, can be further outlined the philosophy behind this divided into restaurant people or bar new canteen, “We are kind of going people. The for the home a demonstration of dedication to the r estaurant cooked idea craft, this reporter decided to go un- people like with mash dercover in the main restaurant in gravy. The bar and vegeta- UCD and pose as a healthy eater and people like to ble stew, real buy a salad. save the pen- comfort food, Venturing into the alien territory nies. rather than of the salad section, yours truly pro- Most stu- going for eve- ceeded to fill a plate with salad. The dents will rything deep salad, with salmon, shockingly cost r ecognise fried with €8. Along with a bottle of water, this t hemselves chips. meal cost nearly €10 euros. The salad as people in “As far as was delicious, and the selection of one or other I am aware, salads, varied and inventive, but the of these cat- [the restau- majority of students would not be egories. As rant] has able to afford a salad that would sat- students find themselves eating in deep fried this, that, and chips are isfy your appetite. UCD a lot, then the foods mentioned served with everything. I have been If students, and the world at large, above must form a large proportion talking to students, and they said that are to choose the healthier options, it of their diets. McGloyn explained that in the evening, its just chips and sau- would seem that incentives are need- rolls might not be such a good idea sages and things like that.” ed. Price could be one such incentive for students. “If The new sci- but it seems salads are always just as you have white, A diet that is high ence canteen expensive as other meals. Could UCD refined foods, you has a good subsidise salads and healthy foods? get a quick hit of in chips and burgers breakfast menu. This would be ideal, but presumably, energy and a dip and things like It has the fry- very unlikely. that follows, so ups but it also And so eating healthily and saving essentially that that, means your has healthy op- money remain mutually exclusive in means if you are diet is really high tions. Hanratty UCD. McGloyne recommends eating trying to study explains, “Well, healthier snacks for long hours, in saturated fats if you look at such as popcorn, it’s not the ideal and salt. These the breakfast fruit, unsalted way to eat by menu, we have Shepherd's Pie nuts, yoghurt, any manner of types of foods our cooked scones, toast and means.” should probably breakfasts along breakfast cereal A further prob- with things like instead of buying lem facing stu- be reserved for granola and yo- chocolate and Tay- dents who seek maybe once a ghurt. There is Caesar Salad tos. She also rec- to eat healthily is always a healthy ommends bringing that the cheapest week as a treat option there. have not improved on the price of a lunch bagel your own salad options tend to We’ve got por- meal in UCD. Main courses range from has some on- in to college. Stu- be the least nutritious. It is relatively ridge which is the best thing you can €5.95 to €6.50. ion and let- dents would really inexpensive to buy chicken nuggets, really have to start the day off.” More crucially, their salad options are tuce in it. benefit from eat- sausages, burgers and chips in the bar A bowl of porridge in the new sci- very expensive aswell. A Caesar salad This is the ing healthier food in UCD, and because saving money ence canteen for €1.30 sounds like a with chicken will make your jeans light- real problem. but while healthy is high on a lot of student’s agendas, very good, healthy idea for students. er by €7.95. A bagel with cream cheese Salads are foods remain so many find themselves eating these By and large, however, though the new and bacon is €3.50 on the breakfast always as ex- expensive, eating uninspiring meals every day. science canteen has a lot of options menu, whereas on the lunch menu it pensive, or more expensive, than the habits are unlikely to change. Food for McGloyn offers an insight into the and has a fresh new feel to it, they is €4.50. What is the difference? The more fatty, less healthy foods. So, in thought indeed. ‘OH DEAR VOLUME XX ISSUE IV OH DEAR’ THETTHEHE EXCLUSIVE

RUDOLF REACTION TO THE SCANDAL: UURBINERRBINEBINE PAGES 2, 3, IT’S SATIRE, STUPID! STILL ONLY 31P TT 4, 5, 6, 7, 11, 46 IINSIDENSIDE POLICE CALLED BUTLER CANCELS TO DAY-CARE AS THREE YEAR OLD RESISTS A REST CHRISTMAS UCD's Head of Societies Ri- north of the Arctic Circle about chard Butler (Dick Butler for the decision. “Dick Butler is short) has cancelled Christ- faceless as far as the children MERCEDES mas. around the world are con- The Turbine contacted Dick cerned. It's very easy to look Butler for a comment on his at a report in his position and BENDS AFTER recent decision but as usual, dismiss it." he agreed to comment only Claus was particularly through email. mournful of his reputation. “It's CAR CRASH Dick Butler stated, “Christ- really damaging to our reputa- mas was cancelled due to tion here in the North Pole. concerns over the safety and It's our big thing every year. management structure for the To be told to cancel at the last holiday. minute is absolutely devastat- SURVEY “On appeal by one North ing. I mean the damages we Pole official, and following a will suffer cost-wise from this long meeting, I gave the organ- could tear us apart. Have you REVEALS: TALL isers an extension of a further any idea how much Chrsitmas 24 hours to allow them make actually costs us every year?" final efforts to resolve the out- Dick Butler retorted, “While PEOPLE SLEEP standing issues. However given the organisers have indicated the time constraints caused by that they felt they were meet- their late submission regard- ing the minimum standards LONGER IN BEDS ing confirmation of what day required for a safe Christmas, Christmas was to fall, this it would in fact be correct to proved impossible." say that they were falling far The announcement comes short of these basic minimum just two weeks since Dick But- standards. I mean he's flying ler cancelled the much-antici- a sleigh for God's sake. Let's JOHN LOCKE’S pated Mystery Tour in UCD. look at the logistics of that When contacted by the Tur- for a second. Never mind the bine, Santa Claus spoke from reindeer, I mean that's got to SUGABABES Santa: In happier times before the enforced ban by Dick a secret location somewhere be illegal." HELL - PUSH THE BUTTON TAP DANCER UCD RESTRUCTIURING - HOSPITALISED A ‘RESOUNDING SUCCESS’ AFTER FALL- It has transpired in the last week that the recent “This just proves that I was right all along and restructuring of University College Dublin Dub- everyone else was wrong. My coming into UCDDTM linTM has been a ‘resounding success’, contrary without a clue about education and putting all the ING INTO SINK to the opinions of potential, current and former different bits of the college into new boxes with students, academics, sundry employees, and the nicer names was the best thing that ever happened now unemployed Early Irish Department. to it. A survey published in the Irish Times entitled “The trick is to not think too much about things. NORTH KOREA “What’s Hot and What’s Not” put UCD in the number What I do is I imagine what it would be like to be a one spot ahead of Making Money, Being Po-Faced department in the college. Then I try to think what and Disingenuous Journalism. On a completely I’d do if I didn’t care about education and I wanted to WEDGIES unrelated note, Early Irish, Education and the Real make money. Then when I’ve done that, I implement World took the top three positions in the ‘Not’ sec- the plan I came up with to maximise effectivity and tion of the survey. to farther the interdisciplinary mumbleumbledums CHINA, UN Compiled by the colleges Communications Office of the financial institutions.” (recently renamed the Good Press DepartmentTM) “My great predecessor John Henry Newman, with for the prestigious national newspaper the survey whom I enjoy a mutual, fruitful and healthy relation- SANCTIONS A gave an indication that the college was on route to ship, is very proud of my achievements. I will tell Success: UCD get the thumbs up ‘win the world’. him about this later over a bottle of wine and some tion fit like “a condom in a prayer group”. It also The president of the college, when the Turbine Doritos, his favourite.” bodes well for UCDDTM ahead of next weeks Dáil WET-WILLY told him the good news, was happy. “Well if the Irish The revelation of the success of the new pro- coin toss, when the minister for education decides Times said it then it must be true, did you see the gramme comes at a useful time amid allegations whether he will abolish second or third level educa- interview I did with them two weeks ago? from the national Unions that business and educa- tion. College Tribune 18 REGULARS 31st October 2006 WITH OOWENWEN PPUBUB TTALKALK PPRIESTLEYRIESTLEY TTHISHIS WWEEKEEK: FFIGHTINGIGHTING

On a recent venture out into Dublin's carnival of night time drinking and debauchery I found myself in a situation that com- pletely stumped me. This faithful night I found myself in the middle of crazyily packed dancefloor with an overwhelming sensation of loneliness. I found my- self wondering what to do. And to be frank, the answer just didn't come to me. At this point I am sure you are wondering what sort of predicament could inspire Pub Talk to delve into such deep personal interroga- tion. Fights. Knowing right well that I looked like I had been attacked by an army of fire ants I danced away to the floorpounding beats with a few of my friends. So enter random punter. Said punter comes over goes “howya," to one of the girls who quite clearly wasn't interested. Few digs: Sometimes it's better to rise above it She gives me the signal so I take her hand and pull her in close the way you it does to throw a punch. It may seem like a simple problem but if do when one of your girls flips you that face To me people who say this never went you look beyond the clich d responses you that looks like an awkward turtle. to an all boys school, where when someone may find a mess of indecision. Ninety nine times out of a hundred that throws you a dig regardless of your size you Are you honestly turning him down be- would have been the end of it but within two can't just take it. cause you are doing the ‘right' thing or are seconds this guy was up in my face literally It's right up there with someone finding you just scared of getting your ass kicked? with his forehead digging into my temple out you fancy miss Finane, the sixty four More and more ‘Pub Talk' has noticed screaming did I want a fight. year old French teacher. that nights out have been corrupted by guys Now being quite fond of buddhist belief What does this have to do with my expe- who just either cant take no for an answer or I decided that the old axiom ‘the greatest rience? Well my buzz that night right there are just out for a fight. victories are won when you find a way not to was ruined by some dick. Yes, sometimes fights do just get out of fight' was the way to go. Regardless of the fact I knew I had done hand and the people involved aren't mali- That ended the buzz of the night for me the right thing, I felt like I hadn't. Like it was cious or bad people but increasingly fights and got me thinking. What could I have done cowardly. have become a poison that infiltrates the or more importantly what should one do in But what do you do? Your options are air in almost every nightspot in Dublin when that sort of situation. walk away and feel like a coward or hit the you mix men, women, booze and little boys. It is very easy to fall back on sayings like muppet and look like a tempered knuckle- What would you do about it? Walk away or it takes more to walk away from a fight than head and risk the aftermath. fight? DOCTOR . HUGH College Tribune 31st October 2006 REGULARS 19

Paralysis Analysis is our fortnightly interview with a random drunk. It's an in depth analysis (hence the name) of issues affecting UCD and gen- erally the world at large today. OWEN The results through up some PARALYSSISIS interesting commentary.. PRIESTLEY SIISS ANALYPART FOUR If you happen to fi nd yourself in a position like this, feel free to send it in to us. If its your mates, then even better. We can make a good show of them, expose them for the drunken tyrants that they are. Send any ideas into [email protected] the best comment sent in every issue wins a half-price copy of the College Tribune.

Walking down a rain sodden street in the and all the money? City Centre last week, we managed to convince our unsuspecting victim that He’s a fucker. He’s been at it for years. Sure a lighter was in fact a dictaphone that it was probably him that set up Charlie could take photographs. Oh how we were Haughey. Bastard. optimistic about the interview to follow at that point.. Yeah, but what do you think of him really? Did you enjoy the night? Well…ninety percent of the time he’s sound, great guy…but a hundred percent I want a chipper. of the time, he’s a total dickhead. Yeah, but it was a good night? What about Michael O’Leary? I want a fucking chipper, God, I’d do any- What about him, he’s a fucker too. thing for garlic and cheese chips right now. Why can’t there one right here! We’ve been What about his takeover of Aer Lingus? walking for ages. Ah he’s a scumbag. It’s obvious why he Maybe if you click your heels together wants those planes, he probably wants to three times and say ‘chipper, chipper, chip- fly them into buildings somewhere. Hope- per’; one will appear? fully he’ll be in the cockpit when that hap- (Actually clinking his heels together!) pens.

Chipper, chipper, chipper. Where the fuck Harsh. This particular clown then laid is my chipper? You said a chipper would eyes on a chipper and began running appear (angrily!). down the street shouting chipper, chip- per, chipper at the top of his voice. We OK, well..sorry about that..onto the proper thought it best to move quietly away at interview. What do you think about Bertie this point..

THIS PUSSY COULDN’T HOLD HIS DRINK

PHOTO OF THE FORTNIGHT SPORT DOWN THE LINE RRTETE kickedkicked intointo touchtouch

Fallen heroes: The magical combination of Hook, Pope and McGurk (inset) has lose some of it's shine

Jack Horgan-Jones laments the loss of RTE television rights to Sky for coverage of the Heineken Cup The phrase ‘fall from Grace’ describes man’s At the end of the broadcast, Hook delivered earth, grassroots rugby. a superficial statistic, we have to expect this fall from a state of innocence into a state one final passionate volley of words, pointing Particularly useless is the nonsensical ‘hit hind of historical injection of self confidence of knowing sin. to the irony of the triumph of the people’s of the week’ competition. This feature depicts from the nation who watched their football Watching the Heineken coverage on match team on the last day they would be shown rugby as a brainless, macho game, full of the team disgrace themselves this summer while day one, it appears some of humanity has fall- live on the people’s channel. traditional bravado and elitism an outsider singing about the battle of Britain and 1966. en further into conscious sin than others. It appeared he and his colleagues had gone would expect. It’s hard to communicate just how damaging What we are watching is the triumph of down with honour and principle, all guns blaz- It also somewhat insensitively glorifies and playing in a league like the Premiership is for might over right, the impending fall of sport- ing. Then again, six years ago it appeared that rewards the emerging gross physicality of the English rugby. The lack of pace and imagina- ing civilisation; the edifice of impartiality and £11,000,000 was a reasonable sum to spend tackle, an aspect of the game wherein the tion in the league stuck out like a sore thumb grace is tumbling into a sea of bias and win- on Emile Heskey. Lo and behold. So with all majority of spinal injuries occur. in the back-row selections of both Leicester ning smiles, all observed by the evil eye of the bumbling incompetence of that footballing Proper defence isn’t about making people and Wasps. Sky Sports. blunderbuss, Hook ad quadriplegics; it’s Both teams, traditional powerhouses of the Where to begin? The selling out of RTE? co. appeared on our about making a safe, English game and former European champi- Why not begin at the epoch of Rugby cover- screens once again. The dialogue is painfully strong hit and that ons, went with second rows at blindside. This age, the pinnacle of presentation. The Monday night scripted, the jokes allows your team had the effect of injecting meat-headed grunt Up until last season, RTE rugby coverage was Heineken Cup road unfunny. It allowed the best opportunity and brute force at the expense of taking one second to none. The holy trinity of McGurk, show is introduced to compete for the third of the skill, pace and expertise out of Pope and Hook dispensed knowledge, mean- by the unsettling im- itself in its first week ball on the ground. the back row. ingful analysis and good humour liberally and age of George Hook to be used as a blaring So the Heineken For the most obvious and crude evidence of unhindered, mixed with a comfortable hint of jogging across the Cup has moved on this has on a team, watch the gulf that opened macho bravado. screen in a manner loudspeaker for men to Sky. The church up between Donnachadh O’Callaghan and the Any attempt at blind patriotism was swat- that seems like a from Munster with sods of the biased agenda chasing Louis Deacon in Welford road. Any ted aside by the pessimism of George Hook. caricature of himself, has a new convert. proper blindside would have at least pushed We all learned to uncover the nuggets of chastened by the of turf in their heads Ronan O’Gara and him for the line, but what was originally a gap knowledge and wisdom in his rambunctious, submerged hand of the boardroom buck. Justin Marshall have provided the tonic to of around 10 yards had extended to around 20 poetic ramblings. It was an idyllic time, with The dialogue is painfully scripted, the jokes this move. God forbid they suggest the Celtic by the time Deacon had given up, somewhere the only concession to bullshit being the em- unfunny. It allowed itself in its first week to be League is better than the English Premier- between the 22 and the 5 metre. Whoever ployment of Ryle Nugent: the only man who used as a blaring loudspeaker for men from ship. wins the Heineken cup this year; it won’t be can commentate exclusively through clichés. Munster with sods of turf in their heads, and It was all hands to the pumps on Sky’s an English team. However, last May, at the moment of pro- in its second as a blackberry for swines from magazine programme the ‘Rugby Club’. Stuart If this kind of gap can be translated to the fessional Irish Rugby’s greatest triumph, we South Dublin with sacks of money in theirs. Barnes and Dewi Morris provided a scrambling international arena, prepare to see a signifi- experienced the greatest trough in the history Its gimmicky existence is typified by the defence of the league, pointing to the suc- cant shift in the power balance of European of Irish rugby culture when the rights for live movement of the show around the country in cesses of English clubs in the Heineken cup rugby. With one eye on the World Cup, these television coverage of the Heineken Cup were a desperate effort to boost viewership and to over the years. kinds of displays are far more encouraging for relinquished to Sky. present the near impotent AIL as salt of the However impressive this might appear as Irish fans that English ones. College Tribune 31st October 2006 SPORT 21 SUPER For Pete’s LEAGUE UCD Soccer Manager Pete Mahon speaks with Jack Horgan Jones exclusively to the The title of worst superleague defence is not usually a coveted one, but going by the league tables, the College Tribune competition is as close and fierce as any top of the table title race. Sake... As of match day five, the ever-popular Sexual terrorists are in pole position to claim this dubious There is a load on my mind. If honour having shipped an impressive 25 goals to we were to print what I really date. However, they are not without pretenders to wanted to say, and it fell into their throne, and indeed their comparative prowess the wrong people’s hands, I’d in front of goal (five so far) could see them fall into probably be fined about €5,000 the clutches of the chasing pack. In a similar posi- and this paper would be in the tion in Premier Sunday we find Nobis Asten, whose libel court. clinical finishing has resulted in them netting five The talking point of the times so far. This unfortunate statistic has negat- moment is a number ed all their good work in conceding 24 goals to date, of managers being as their goal difference sits at a disappointing 19. fined. Pat Scully Indeed, this seems to be something of a trend in getting fined Premier Sunday, with three teams whose defences last week is have done them proud in letting in over 20 goals. the latest in Unfortunately for these sides, their attacks seem a long line of FAI Chief John Delaney: The Association have tough rules intent on pulling them away from the bottom place managers gagging managers from speaking out finish that usually goes with the honour and glory this year of the worst defence title. who have haven’t got involved. I declined into next year’s Premier Divi- fallen to give a TV interview last week sion. Looking at it realistically, foul of after the Shelbourne match be- looking at it without if you like, In Premier Sunday we the au- cause I felt to go on and say blue glasses on, it would be a find Nobis Asten, whose thori- what I wanted to say, would have travesty of justice in my belief if ties. I got me into trouble. I felt that we weren’t in it. clinical finishing has the referee was the leading per- We have a strategic group of resulted in them netting sonality that emerged from the Dick Shakespeare our secretary, game, for the wrong reasons. Brendan Dillon is our legal man, five times so far. This We should have been speak- and along with a number of unfortunate statistic ing about the match. It wasn’t a other individuals, they have been great game, and I’d be the first to working hard there behind the has negated all their hold up my hand, yet I didn’t think scenes, on the proposal. There is good work in conceding we were given a fair crack of the no reason why we shouldn’t be whip on the night. There were successful in our attempt, I feel. 24 goals to date a lot of 50/50 decisions that The only reservation I would seemed to go to Shelbourne, have in my mind is the issue of Special mention for one of these teams, John and then it was summed up by the attendances that we get, or Reid's Broga Nua, for providing us with excellent the alleged back-pass. I believe that we don’t get at Belfield Park, examples of their schizophrenic gameplan by regis- the rule said that the pass has but other than that there is no tering on either side of 4-3 results over the last few to be deliberate. How that other problems. weeks. could have been inter- It would seem that all our play- Meanwhile, in division one Saturday, so far the preted as a back-pass, ers want to stay for next season. Posh are the only team to break the ‘golden' 20- I don’t know. We have had meetings with them goal concession barrier, matching this with proudly But I was asked recently and they tell us they are pathetic finishing, having registered only two goals during the all happy to remain here, which so far. The Killer Rabbits seem to be suffering from week would is obviously good. It means that premier Sunday syndrome, with their nine goals I be one of we have the backbone of a good distorting the impact of the 18 they've managed to the man- side. What we need to do now let in at the other end. agers who as I’ve I said before is to sup- Division 1 Sunday, home of the aforementioned would not plement that with three or four Sexual Terrorists, is without a real challenger to talk to the experienced players. their lead at the moment, although the lack of im- press. I Obviously, finance will be the mediate competition may lead to a loss of concen- will always main factor here, whether we tration, and they must strive hard to avoid compla- speak to can afford them or not. I think cency. the papers, we have the same amount of Meanwhile, those who are affected with the because points now as we did last year, strange perverted desire to win their respective the eircom which tells me that we haven’t divisions at the cost of ignoring the worst defence League needs really moved on. title are slugging it out at the top. media expo- A couple of the players have In Premier Saturday, the closely matched sure. developed okay, but as a team Football United FC and Park Celtic FC both faced This new In- we haven’t really progressed. So potential stumbling blocks in the form of the mid- dependent As- in order to do that, we have to table FC El Messidor and the traditional generic sessment Group move up the table away from this hip-hop fashioned team, Pimp Juice. The hotly interviewed us perpetual dogfight at the end of contested Premier Sunday is teetering on the edge this week earlier every season. of becoming a yo-yo league, with the top 7 teams in the week, and We have talented, young play- only covered by a single point. that seemed to go ers here, but we need a bit of The pick of this weekend's games threw up the very well. We are help and we intend to address kind of contest which a league like this always cre- obviously very hope- that. I’m just hoping now that the ates as Saint Webonedurmas FC took on Fr Romeo ful that we will be one financial situation will help us do Sensini XI on astro one, with only a point between of the chosen ten that. I’m sure in the cold light the two sides in the table. to be invited of day there will be a couple of In Division one Saturday, Ruck Fangers, Chris- players who may want to move tian brothers and Sporting Lesbian will all be on, but that’s bound to happen. looking to consolidate their place at the top with There are two young lads on victories. the Under21’s, Timmy Purcell and While in Division 1 Sunday, Catch us if you can Darren Forsyth, so they will prob- are living up to their name, and will be hoping to ably form a bit of shape next year. maintain and perhaps even extend their three point They are only in a while and are lead with a victory over third place Olympic Real. now in scoring a few goals, so Olympic Real will be eager to track down the lead- that’s the progression for them to ers, and could potentially go top if results and goal play for us next season. difference go their way. College Tribune 22 SPORT 31st October 2006 Photo finish for students Killian O'Connor UCDKILMACUD 20 Lansdowne 20 UCD’s talented young side displayed glimpses of their true potential in a thrilling AIL draw at the Belfield bowl on Saturday. Following opening losses against Dolphin and UL Bohemians, expectations were low that this youthful side could turn it around against a good Lansdowne squad who had showed real quality in their opening match defeat of St.Marys. These predictions looked well placed when Lansdowne, playing with a strong breeze went 10- 0 up within the first ten minutes through a pen- alty and a forward’s try from a scrum. UCD replied to this early setback well when Fergus McFadden slotted a penalty into the wind, from a foul for killing the ball. However, straight from the kick off, Killian Lett knocked on deep inside the College 22, giving Lansdowne another excellent attacking platform. Despite some brave tackling in defence, Gav O’Meara showed good strength to get over in the left corner for another try to Lansdowne. An excellent conversion from Lansdowne full back Rob Dolan followed and the home side were 17-3 down. Lansdowne at this stage were good value for their lead, out half Fiachra Baynes was showing some classy touches and was kicking in behind the UCD back three extremely well. In the lineout, Leinster academy player Devin Toner was making full use of his 6’10 frame to cause havoc on the UCD throw. Because of the strong wind, the students were finding it extremely difficult to get field position and found themselves pinned back in their own half playing rugby behind the gainline. The visitors got another penalty on the half Late surge: UCD on the attack in the final minute hour mark when Brian McGovern was penalised for offside. Rob Dolan was again successful with them play on the back foot. Ross McCarron and Fergus McFadden showing UCD Scorers another difficult kick, making the score 20-3. Despite a lot of excellent field position from the their international class. With about five minutes Tries: Ian Keatley, Conor Geoghegan It was at this point that the boys in blue began boot of Ian Keatley who was impressive through- left, a quick lineout to McCarron gave him some Cons: Fergus McFadden (2) to play rugby that really pleased the eye. It began out, the home side found it difficult to create any space to run, he managed again to offload in the Pens: McFadden (2) with a break by the extremely impressive Sean real scoring opportunities. tackle, putting the students on the front foot. Lansdowne Scorers O’Brien, who went straight through the middle. In fact it was Lansdowne who came closest to The Belfield bandwagon put together a number Tries: Karl Cleere, Gavin O'Meara The backrower showing good pace to cut a great scoring; it took a try-saving tackle from Ross Mc- of phases of really quality rugby after this- no han- Cons: Robbie Dolan (2) line which split open the Lansdowne defence. Carron to keep them from scoring on their one dling errors, offloading in the tackle from forwards Pens: Dolan (2) Unfortunately, with the try looking on, Killian meaningful attack in the second half. and backs and great support running. Lansdowne Lett knocked on in the tackle. The home side got With twenty minutes left, it was still 20-6 and couldn’t cope and eventually hooker and Captain PLD PTS away with it however. Another clean line break UCD’s sole reward from some good play in the Conor Geoghan showed pace to get over in the Shannon 3 13 from scrum half Brian O’Neill led to a penalty. It second half was a lone penalty. This was due in left corner. UL Bohemians 2 10 was pulled wide but that didn’t seem to deter the part to the excellent Lansdowne lineout which A difficult touchline conversion to tie the match Garryowen 3 10 students. was disrupting every throw. remained. Unfortunately as McFadden was begin- Cork Constitution 3 9 A dummy from Ian Keatley on his own ten The next score was to prove crucial and it would ning his run up, the ball was blown over by the St Mary's College 3 8 parted the Lansdowne defence, great support go to the students. A high ball kicked down the wind. In a piece of real skill, McFadden picked the Terenure College 3 8 running and handling from UCD followed and they middle was fielded excellently by Ross McCarron. ball up and with 2 defenders going for the charge Galwegians 3 7 were unlucky not to score. College finished the He stepped inside the first defender and managed down and with no run up slotted the drop kick Lansdowne 3 7 first half deep inside the Lansdowne 22 and the to offload out of the tackle. from the touchline to tie the match. Blackrock College 2 6 crowd were more hopeful going into the second Great support running brought the home side UCD had chances to win it in the dying minutes, Dungannon 3 5 half than a 20-3 scoreline would suggest. to the 22. Lansdowne’s defence were scrambling most notably following a great break from Killian Dolphin 1 4 The second half began well for the Belfield to get back, Keatley saw the opportunity, threw a Lett, when subsutute Gavin Telford knocked the Clontarf 2 4 boys, Brian McGovern forcing a penalty for hold- great dummy and had a run in under the posts. ball on in the tackle. Buccaneers 3 4 ing on which Fergus McFadden converted. It was The conversion followed and with fifteen minutes In the key positions of 8, 9, 10, 13 and 15, UCD UCD 3 3 clear how strong the wind was, now it was UCD left it was 20-13. won the positional battles hands down with all Ballymena 3 2 pinning Lansdowne inside their own half making Wave after wave of UCD attacks followed with these players having an excellent game. Balfast Harlequins 2 1 College Tribune 31st October 2006 SPORT 23 SPORTIN BRIEF College claim Men's Basketball UCD Marian's Superleague game versus Killester, due to be played last Sunday (October 29th) was cancelled by the visiting side. A re-scheduled date for the fixture has not yet been penciled in. On Thursday, Marian were on the road, and met historic win Shamrock Rovers Hoops at the National Arena, Tallaght. The signs were ominous for the visi- Jordan Daly tors from the off, as Hoops players Luke O'Hea, Jonathan Reed and Joey Hasstrup set the tone as they each scored three pointers in the first A handful of College supporters witnessed quarter. their team drag a win out of this scrappy Although the following minutes of the encoun- affair with a single goal to claim seventh ter saw the hosts dominate, UCD shifted things spot. Bohs fans seemed to have given up around in for the second quarter, and it paid divi- hope on this season but have experienced a dend. Pat Glover came off the bench to inspire the students with 10 big points, which began a period new low, losing to UCD at home for just the of dominance for the away side. third time their history. While third quarter was an evenly fought con- The students clinched a first away win test between the two, the Hoops flowed in pos- since last August at Dalymount Park on Fri- session in the final quarter, and emerged victori- day night against an appalling Bohs side who ous at the finish. The final score was Shamrock were weak in defence and lacked conviction Rovers Hoops 110, UCD Marian 95. up front. A lapse in concentration at the back for the Gypsies saw Jason McGuinness play a danger- ous ball to Conor Powell that was intercepted by an alert Pat Kavanagh. The winger skipped into the box and drove the ball low past a helpless Stephen O’Brien. The Bohs number one had played a decent first half, keeping out a shot by Kavanagh and seeing a Conor Sammon header just wide of the upright. This rather subdued mid-table clash saw the Phibsboro men go seven games with just one win. Longing for an end to their disappointing season they walked off a demoralised side. The visitors, however, were deserved in their win, creating the majority of chances, holding possession and keeping a solid de- fence. challenges and winning plenty of free- kicks, The early exchanges of the match con- BohemiansKILMACUD 0 but College, not for the first time this sea- Women's Soccer sisted of end-to-end long balls, which were son, lacked the killer instinct up front. won emphatically in the air by the big centre UCD 1 Bohs, when they ventured into the oppo- UCD's summer side made their extra fitness count backs. McGuinness did most of the cleaning nent’s box, looked extremely tame. Evidently, on Friday night last, when they overcame a dogged up for Bohs. they missed Aidan O’Keefe’s strike power, as Raheny team to earn a spot in the FAI Women's The home side had their best run of play Bohs fans voiced their anger, even jeering he and Thomas Heary sat out match bans. Challenge Cup Semi-Finals. The score was level early in the first half with their most impres- their own players frequently. Dalymount at The real difference between the sides was at one apiece after normal time had elapsed, so sive attacker Stephen Ward cutting up the this moment in time, is not a happy camp. in the defence. UCD crowded out their box, extra-time was needed to produce a winner. And it UCD centre back. Their most clean-cut chance There was a spot of controversy when in harried, chased and fought. They were the was College who showed their superior level of re- arrived from a mazy run by Stephen Rice who the second-half; a decent penalty shout from hungrier side and looked more as a team-unit silience to snatch a win, scoring two in the second passed to Mark Duggan out wide. He then fed Bohs was waved away by the referee. Darren then a demoralised Bohs outfit, and were de- period of ET, to end the game 3-1. the ball through into the path of Ireland Un- Quigley blatantly brought down a man inside servedly awarded with all three-points at the Things didn't go so as well for the winter team last week, however. Following their opening vic- der21 international Ward. It was neatly taken his area. However, the linesman’s flag had final whistle. tory in the WSCAI First Division, College's A side down, but Quigley was on-hand to smother been raised for offside from the beginning of had an extremely disappointing result against the snap shot with a dive to his left. the attack, and a free-out was awarded. Bohemians FC: O’Brien, Reilly, McGuinness, the Templemore Garda College, going down 7-1 in UCD lost Paul Crowley at the end of the On the attack, the Students always looked Ferguson, Powell, Kelly (Byrne41’), Hunt, Rice, Waterford. half, as the midfielder was taken off with a more promising with Kavanagh and Ronan Duggan (Caffrey 62’), Dunphy, Ward (Brady The B team had their opening fixture postponed chipped foot. Yet another injury added to Finn combining to set up leading marksman 66’) and are still awaiting the first game of the season. Bohs’ woes also, as John Paul Kelly was re- Sammon whose shot was blasted high over UCD: Quigley, Kenna, K Doyle, McNally, Mc- placed before the break. the crossbar. Donnell, Crowley (Hurley 43’), Kavanagh, Dick- Throughout the ninety minutes, disgruntled Finn had a fine game for UCD, skipping past er, D Doyle, Finn, Sammon UCD dethrone Crokes en route to final Continued from back page Some inaccurate and wasteful passing in the first half had cost the Glenalbyn side and despite making several Billy Sheehan for UCD and Johnny Magee for Kilmacud were yel- substitutions towards the end, they couldn’t take their low carded after a scuffle off the ball, as was UCD’s Sean Brady opponent’s one point lead away. Billings’ team will now later on in the half. surely be favourites as they look ahead to the final. Kilmacud took the lead through Colm Judge with a few minutes to go until half time, but were pegged back once again by Sean Scorers – UCD Sean Lennon 1-1, Austin O’Malley 0-3, Brady. Sean Brady 0-2, Cathal O’Dwyer 0-1 Billy Sheehan 0-1 Just before the break, Crokes attacked with purpose, but great Kilmacud – Liam Óg Ó hEinneacháin 0-3 Pat Burke 0-2 work from Stephen Gallagher in the goal restricted them to just a Ray Cosgrove 0-2 Cian O’Sullivan 0-1 point rather than a goal, as he came out swiftly to make the angle Declan Kelleher 0-1 Adrian Morrissey 0-1 near impossible. This made the score 1-3 to 0-7 as UCD trailed at the interlude. Teams: The Belfield boys came out in the second half needing to draw UCD: S Gallagher, D Geraghty, P Navin, J Mc- level early, and they did, after O’Malley once again lobbed a good Carthy, M Duffy, E O'Cuiv, M Dunne, S Brady, M ball in which was touched over the bar for a point. Kilmacud’s Ward, B Sheehan, S Lennon, C Rogers, P Earls, A Nicky McGrath had an awkward looking fall, and clearly struggling, O'Malley, C O'Dwyer was substituted five minutes later when it was clear he couldn’t SUBS: N McNamee for C O'Dwyer (37) J Hanley for continue. N McNamee (60) P McConway for A O'Malley (62) Johnny Magee put McGrath’s side ahead again, but O’Malley pulled head from Dermot Geraghty kept UCD in it. O’Malley converted al- it back level in a point for point exchange that typified this game. most all the opportunities that came his way, and gave UCD the lead Kilmacud Crokes: D Nelligan, N McGrath, C Flanagan, D More of the same was to come, but both teams were beginning to in the 65th minute. He unfortunately went down injured late on after Walsh, K Nolan, P Griffin, B McGrath, J Magee, D Magee, C play some nice flowing football and stringing together some good a neat lay-off, and was replaced by Paul McConway. O'Sullivan, P Burke, C Murphy, R Cosgrove, L g hEinneach in, passing moves. However they were each let down by their use of the UCD hung on to the lead to claim victory at the end of the game, D Kelleher ball in the final third. to leave their fans who had made the trip out to Donnycarney on this SUBS: A Morrissey for N McGrath (37) B Phelan for C Play then began to open up, and some great defending and a cool bitter autumn’s evening, in raptures. O'Sullivan (52) K O'Carroll for D Kelleher (60) DOWN THE LINE The Sad Loss of the Heineken Cup for RTE SPORT PAGE 20 Up for it But UCD can only draw against Lansdowne Full report - Page 23

UCD dethrone Crokes

KilmacudKILMACUD Crokes 0-10 en route to final UCD 1-8 UCD clinched a narrow victory over An early goal eventually turned in by up early on with a well-taken point, get into the Crokes area. After his first Kilmacud Crokes at Parnell Park last Adrian Collins Shane Lennon after several attempts but Kilmacud reciprocated down the attempt was pushed onto the bar by Thursday, to book themselves a rescheduling of the game, Kilmacud’s helped UCD on their way to a win, other end within a minute, which was Nelligan, Lennon finally finished third ticket to the Dublin Senior Football omission from the competition, and and though Kilmacud fought until the to set the tone for the game to come. time of asking, and punched the ball Championship Final and deny their astonishingly the later reversal of that end, they narrowly missed out at the O’Malley’s performance was invalua- in to the back of the net to give UCD a opponents the chance to make it decision. final whistle. ble to his team, as he constantly hung goal they desperately needed. three in a row. Before the clash, UCD manager Dav- UCD had to make do without James dangerous high balls in the air threat- Again, Kilmacud returned to the The battle between these two be- id Billings was adamant he preferred a Sherry, away with the GAA charity in ening the Crokes posts, and took any other end of the pitch and produced gan weeks before the throw-in, with genuine victory to a walkover, stating, Malawi, but were capable of winning of the frees that came his way, con- two scores, followed by a superb long the match in considerable doubt be- “We want to play and win on the field, without him, while Kilmacud were verting with some consistency. distance point, all from Liam Óg Ó fore Crokes eventually walked out on it’s as simple as that”. missing Mark Davoren, who failed a College dominated the opening ten hEinneacháin. Confidence was grow- to the park. This game was the cul- Neither side was able to establish late fitness test, and influential Mark minutes, as they scored an early goal ing and Kilmacud began to win the mination of a long series of events dominance, nor had any real rhythm Vaughan. after a strong run from the middle of individual battles in midfield. leading to the postponement and to their play until the second half. Austin O’Malley put UCD’s first score the park, and some concise passing to Continued - Page 23 CCollegeollege TribuneTribune EntertainmentEntertainment SSupplementupplement tthehe

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““It’sIt’s vveryery ddifficultifficult nnotot ttoo hhearear ssomeome of thethe torturedtortured ccries”ries” Robert Fisk on the War for Civilisation Books - Page 12 the 2 31st October 2006 MMusicusic College Tribune ssireniren inside October 31st music

Not many make music like we do, and I feel it can stand up to any- thing in the world if not better it Messiah J: P5 music

It annoys a lot of people if you don’t Everybody s stick to the same ’ theory or formula. But formulas are for sit- coms, not for music. Interview: Neil Hannon: P6 humanzi fashion Frank Clune speaks to Humanzi frontman, Shaun Mulrooney, about the band ahead of their upcoming show in UCD on November 16th

When it comes to being on stage, Humanzi be heard at www.humanzi.com). love it. They hit the headlines earlier this It’s very fast, rough and ready. “The music year with the March 18th anti-war rally on was recorded as close to our live-set as we O’Connell Street. It was reported that Hu- could,” and the lyrics contain plenty of politi- manzi hijacked the stage. cally charged subject material. Humanzi have When asked whether it was true that they been compared very much to Joy Division and hijacked it or whether they were invited on, with good reason. With Joy Division and New Mulrooney confessed it was “a bit of both. Order also listed among musical influences, They were asking us to play, but we went way Humanzi are quite pleased with that com- over what we should have played.” parison – or at least “It’s better than being “Comfortable and prac- This is not surprising as the anti-war theme compared to Coldplay, I suppose.” is something very close to their hearts. Re- Their Oxegen gig this summer was very tical, the cricket jumper cently though, they have come under a lot of successful, but having been together two is a fashion essential criticism for feeling so strongly against it and years and two months, supporting the Foo this winter” their days of talking openly about it are over. Fighters at the Point last February has been Fashion: P9 While it is still something they ‘believe in’, the band’s high point. They played for 6,000 Humanzi are afraid of being labelled as anoth- Foo Fighter fans, “the crowd just went fuck- er protest band; in fact they’re afraid of being ing crazy. It was the most bizarre experience labelled altogeth- ever, because we were all jet- film er. They often get lagged and hungover.” branded as ‘angry “The crowd just Humanzi’s debut album young men’ or ‘Tremors’ came out on July something to that went fucking 24th to rave reviews. While effect, though this there is a lot of room for im- is something the crazy. It was provement with some of the band wish to dis- lesser tracks, ‘Out On A Wire’, tance themselves the most bizarre ‘Long Time Coming’ and ‘Get from. “We’re not experience ever, Your Shit Together’ are real a market research gems and show promise of company so we because we were Ireland producing a really big don’t really think name in this genre. who we’re aiming all jet-lagged Humanzi have just finished to.” touring England and are off In lesser hands this Humanzi’s mu- and hungover." to the U.S. for a showcase at film could easily have sic probably isn’t the beginning of next month. descended into a dis- something people from all walks of life would Mulrooney reckons it’ll be next February or warm to. It’s a sound akin to that of The Clash March before they start work on their new mal mess, yet Coppola or The Who, and Mulrooney lists these as album, for which they have a lot of incom- knows exactly where well as Bowie, Suicide and Psychedelic Furs plete material, but a few changes musically among musical influences. (Their album can are imminent. to draw the line Film: P10 Film

the 3 ssireniren College Tribune MMusicusic 31st October 2006

Chris Whelan speaks to Justin Chancellor from Tool about their new album ‘10,000 Toool ol’s Days’ ahead of their upcoming Dublin gig CCompanyompany

“I think it's got its own character," remarks in a new direction, bassist Justin Chancellor nuts. It's just nice when you go to differ- Chancellor about his band's music, “It's like stresses, “It's real honest and organic. What ent parts of the world and people are getting your baby or something it's completely happens when we all come together in a room, something from your music there too". unique and you're proud of the things that and how we've changed or not changed that's From Generation X to the merciless rise set it apart from the other babies". Further- just the way it comes out. You play with of the Emo era, the band has experienced more, he states that originality is clearly a different people and there's a different kind sixteen years of highs and lows in the rock- fundamental element of chemistry and sound. music scene. After almost two decades, the of Tool's music, “Even if With Tool it's so intense typical cohesive force for many bands is it's a painting; when you We're not trying and time-consuming that always quoted as “the music", but Chancellor see something original, it to go to higher it's probably the other attributes it to something deeper; “I think the inspires you to do some- way around". thing that really keeps you together is listen- thing original yourself. levels. There's no One of the defining ing to each other and learning to communi- That's what makes the aspiration to be features of Tool's singles cate with each other as people. The music is world colourful, instead of has been their surreal the pay-off. But to get there, you have to be the same thing over and bigger or louder, videos. Along with out- able to learn from each other, to tolerate each over again". we just try to landish artists such as other and to respect each other". California is infamous Apex Twin, Tool can boast After multiple number ones, Grammy for spawning stream after keep producing an impressive repertoire Awards, critically acclaimed albums, and a stream of superficial something beautiful of the weirdest and most status as one of the biggest bands in North maintain a strong underground credibility. It's celebrities and inverted commercially controver- America, one must wonder where Tool can rare to see a music video that both frightens moral preaching. Little and original sial videos ever. One of go from here. Their current ambitions and and enlightens. Yet these are the types of wonder that one of its the most provocative was self-perceptions are humble. “We're not try- achievements that maintain Tool's reputa- future musical exports ‘Prison Sex' a video ulti- ing to go to higher levels. It's what we do to tion as a respected band in so many different would depict the entire state collapsing into mately banned for its symbolic dealing with make a living. It's nice that we're areas of the music world. the Pacific Ocean. Somewhat ironic is the fact child abuse. “I think it's important to provoke successful because we can Their Dublin concert in that these same musicians would go on to people", Chancellor explains of the videos, carry on doing it and not November will un- become huge Californian and worldwide stars “They are provocative, but not gratuitously have to get real jobs. There's doubtedly display a in their own rite. From the dawn of the 90s, so. Not to get a cheap thrill out of it. I don't no aspiration to be bigger band that has de- each new Tool album would raise the standard think you can get people to think by just tell- or louder, we just try to veloped as one of alternative/metal/experimental/progres- ing them to." keep producing something of the most sive/art rock (depending on whatever genre The band's platinum-selling reputation is beautiful and original". intelligent they happened to fit into at the time). not confined to the US Billboard Charts. There are very few and intense of Released in April, Tool's latest Europeans are equally enthusiastic types of heavy, grind- recent years. album was critically overshadowed and the band recalls fond memories ing, angry music that by its predecessor, ‘Lateralus', of the Irish fans at Ozzfest. “They can be described despite its equally haunting and were brilliant, actually. Ozzy had as both beauti- energetic presence. Tracks like cancelled, so we ended up being ful and original. ‘Vicarious' echo past recordings, the last band on. It was raining Scarcely can an yet something was clearly as well and eve- MTV regular lacking for judge and jury. ryone was When asked if ‘10,000 going Days' is a radical step the 4 31st October 2006 Music College Tribune ssireniren aauralural eexaminationsxaminations been less true. Indeed this album is a lemon fresh collection of beautifully crafted songs. The magic of the album springs from the format whereby one artist writes, and another artist sings. This injects the album with beautiful balance that sets a great tone. The outstanding track is Black Winged Bird, written by Emm Gryner, and performed by Nina of the Car- digans. The song starts out simply, then grows into a soaring crescendo of strings; combined with the delicate control of Nina's vocals, this creates a gorgeous piece of music. various There are many other moments of brilliance on the album- most notably the cake sale provided by Lisa Hannigan on Last In an Leaf. The sublime quality of her voice nnnnp attempt perfectly matches the polished song to raise funds, Oxfam has brought to- writing of Rice and Geraghty (Bell X1). gether a talented group of singers and By far the weakest song is Good In- songwriters, amongst whom include tentions, interestingly the only song Gemma Hayes, Gary Lightbody (Snow written and performed by the same Patrol) and Damien Rice, and has artist: Conor Deasy of the Thrills. The aptly named them the Cake Sale. This strained, fabricated huskiness of his album is the self-titled result. voice ruins a potentially first-rate More often than not albums for song. That is, however, the only low charity are merely a mediocre collec- point of a highly impressive album. tion of dusted off B-Sides, Yet with The Cake Sale this has been never Steuart Alexander

squarepusher henrick schwarz hello everything dj kicks nnnnp nnnnp question ‘is it over?' with the listener getting the answer in track five, she can ‘make it on my own'. Squarepusher, aka Tom Jenkinson, is a one- This album is a mix of various sounds Ms Parle goes on to display somewhat stalker like be- man electronics veteran, at once composer, from the record collection of Henrik haviour with ‘looking through the back door’ and ‘baby bass player and producer. ‘Hello Everything’ Schwarz, a ‘Berlin based DJ, producer where are you sleeping tonight?’ culminating in the pos- is his tenth album to date. and remixer'. Based on that descrip- sibility of love driven murder with ‘ghost’. The great variety of moods, sounds and tion you could easily assume that When Luan was 12, she was encouraged away from mu- textures explored by Jenkinson is a prominent this is some assortment of European sic to pursue her education, and despite having a listenable feature of the album. Beginning with ‘Hello electro or techno, but this most quality, it is questionable whether or not the 25 year old is Meow’, a burning up-tempo track, Jenkinson definitely is not the case- instead this wise to attempt a career in an already overcrowded genre. instantly brings the listener into the blurry is an eclectic mix of soulful rhythms Battling with the likes of Amy Winehouse, Katie Melua, KT world of an arcade racing game. He drops the ranging from deep house to funky 70's Tunstall and now Sandi Thom, requires something unique, tempo down and then shifts into the mellow, sounds. but alas, Luan sounds exactly like the rest of them. sleazy blues of ‘Theme From Sprite’, swapping The album starts off with vari- luan parle Songs like ‘Corporate Culture’ show promise, but unfor- the electronic bleeps for a drum kit, acoustic ous clarinet and saxophone phrases tunately this is one of two songs on the album she didn’t guitar and his beloved six-string bass. fading in, echoing around one another, free write, and is quite similar to Sandi Thom’s ‘Punk Rocker’. He shows a tender, soulful side in ‘Bubble with a simple base drum beat slowly nnppp This album may appeal to some but it certainly won’t set Life’, which contrasts with the experimental, adding some punch. This gives way the world or even the genre on fire. Same old, same old rising-pitch weirdness of ‘Vacuum Garden’. to a bass-line based on one of the Glancing down the track names of ‘Wicklow girl', really. ‘Planetarium’ is dream-like, layered with all saxophone phrases, and a funky house Luan Parle's debut album, we see the same old sto- manner of synth sounds and Jenkinson’s beat kicks in on top. This sets the ry of love gone wrong, ‘failed romances' and the song James Haughey customary drum n bass pulse. ‘Circlewave 2’ tone for most of the album- a blend of is mostly an acoustic guitar piece, with ech- laid-back house and funky little riffs oes of Radiohead in its arrangement and har- (including a nice little bit of James vocal hook of ‘For goodness sake, you've made your mony. Brown). mistakes, don't beat yourself up cause you deserve In an essay from 2004, Jenkinson men- Schwarz throws a few of his own to be happy' setting the upbeat tone for the album. tions the influence of the drum machines and productions into the middle of the Slight curveballs in the shape of the darker, bass samplers he uses in creating music. It is this CD. The first of these, ‘Jon', works heavy ‘Country Boy' and emotive ‘Guilty' ensure a empathy for his gadgets which produces won- well but ‘Imagination Limitation' and streamlined listen that retains attention. derfully crafted pieces like ‘The Modern Bass his remix of Coldcut's ‘Walk A Mile In The Frank and Walters successfully mould a Guitar’, a frantic, smile-inducing five minutes My Shoes' are out of place, and they range of different sounds around the core of jangley of chaotic beats, or ‘Rotate Electrolyte’, anoth- lower the standard of the music found rock that makes the bulk of the album. This is both er intense track exploring a textured conversa- elsewhere on the CD. a strength and a weakness however, with the band tion between different beats and clicks. These self-indulgent moments never truly deviating from the formula (except for With pieces like these, Jenkinson has cre- aside, the rest of the mix is a pleas- in ‘Johnny Cash', their tribute to the man himself.) ated another album of music which will appeal ant medley of musical styles, with a frank and walters After listening to several songs something to the entire spectrum of electronic music couple of electronic tracks and some a renewed interest in happiness totally unexpected needs to come out of the speak- fans, from the raving pill-heads to the chin- world music adding extra flavour to nnnpp ers, but instead come more measured, though stroking intellectuals. the predominantly soulful/house-y With ‘A obviously heartfelt, pop songs. Fans of the long feel. Recommended for people who Renewed Interest in Happiness', Cork stalwarts running Corkonians will be satisfied in spades, other To hear the album for free, check out enjoy the variety of musical genres The Frank and Walters return with their fourth listeners will find an undeniably enjoyable listen but squarepusher.net or warprecords.com. mentioned above. full length album of accomplished and thoroughly nothing revolutionary. catchy melodic rock. Courage in the face of adver- John O'Flynn Hugh Fowler sity is the order of the day, with opener ‘Fights' Lorcan Archer the 5 ssireniren College Tribune MMusicusic 31st October 2006 Cometh the Amro Hussein caught up with Messiah J ahead of the release of their forthcoming album messiah ‘Now this I have to hear’. A new era in music is dawning in mod- and the mixture of jazz melodies in the whatever you think about the state of ern day Ireland, one of skilled Irish MCs rhymes reflects Messiah J’s varied influ- music in general, here is a group truly and solid alternative acts. But in a coun- ences from outside of hip-hop, from Jeff passionate about music and provide try where the thought of Irish hip hop Baker and Miles Davis to song writers like something different. They deserve is met with a condescending snigger, Morrissey. a chance to prove themselves to the one man stands unfazed and his name This unconventional musical sound masses. is Messiah J, one half of the excellent combined with lyric-heavy songs has Check them out at Messiah J and the Expert. earned MJEX much critical acclaim, in- messiahjandtheexpert. “It’s definitely a problem that people cluding a nomination for a meteor music com or myspace. aren’t open minded enough, but I don’t award. Though their unique sound might com/messiah- get that kind of snobbery because to alienate a large part of the market, Mes- jandtheexpert me the music speaks for itself. Not many siah J is happier to do things his own way. make music like we do, and I feel it can “We don’t want to have throwaway music stand up to anything in the world if not with no real substance that people have better it”. one listen to and then throw away. If they Though this attitude could be taken as find it the lyrical style too dextrous that’s arrogant, this is exactly what is needed their problem.” - a group confident enough about their Similarly Messiah J his certainly not work to take risks and to go for the jugu- pining to hip-hop stereotypes - “Guys lar of an all or nothing industry. “Irish acts who wear big fubu gear and only like ‘se- need to be more serious and to bring out riou’s hip hop. We’ve nothing in common records on a more professional basis, we with them- I feel more like Jarvis Cocker need to take more risks; take out loans, than 50 cent.” go into debt, there’s no point in bringing Messiah J doesn’t have much time for out stuff that’s underdeveloped”. the current US hip-hop scene and the re- His cocky, brash attitude mirrors the cent emergence and boom in popularity old-school hip-hop mentality of cocky of down south rappers. “I just don’t get it. kids with something to say, and his rap There must be a lot of ignorant people style fits this down to the grain. “My style out there who’ll settle for anything. A lot just developed, but it wasn’t by accident. of this new stuff is just crap - aggression It was influenced by the old storytell- without a solution or function. Boys more ing rappers who really had something interested in having gold teeth than mak- to say, and it was just a mish-mash of ing good music.” these styles which just came out as Mes- Whatever you think about hip hop, siah J”. The eclectic style of the music whatever you think about Irish hip hop, Gig Watch ce artist Liam mmyspaceyspa artist McDermott From 31st October www.myspace.com ooff thethe fortnightfortnight /liammcdermott Tue 31 We Are Scientists* Ambassador Wed Nov 1 Fratellis Village Liam McDermott and a small group of like-minded friends are a Thu Nov 2 Vitallic* Ambassador bit of an anomaly in a country so predominantly caught up with Sean Lennon Village contributing to the ‘New Rock Revolution'- at best - and indulging Royseven UCD Student Bar in rambling, dripping, self-absorbed solo efforts - at worst. DJ Rush Wax McD's music naturally presents itself for inspection along with Fri Nov 3 Muse Point words like ‘vintage' and ‘original'. ‘The Love of My Life (For Now)' Electric shock w/DJ Rush TBMC confounds expectations with a warbling saxophone introduction Dimitri From Paris Tripod (and a sample from ‘80s cult film Mannequin) - and then shuf- fles in a descending piano line with a whimsically bouncing three Sat Nov 4 Tiesto Point part-harmony reminiscent of the Turtles who indeed come in for LFO TBMC a mention under his ‘Influences'. Sun Nov 5 Slayer Point His voice, dynamic and empathic, plays to its strengths with KK Null Project Arts Centre its melodies. It is often layered in places, sometimes in such a Tue Nov 7 Dropkick Murphys Ambassador way as to recall Elliot Smith, sometimes Paul Simon, always to Wed Nov 8 Stone Roses Experience Student Bar great effect. Futureheads Ambassador McD's talent and versatility belies his twenty-two years. In Paul Simon Point the four songs on his myspace page alone he demonstrates a Gnarles Barley Vicar St knowing depth and conviction in his work without ever entirely revealing himself as committed to any of the opinions, genres, Thu Nov 9 Scissor Sisters Point styles or emotions raised in the process. Divine Comedy Olympia The music, melodies, lyrics and even his voice seem to do the Andrew Weatherall Rogue talking while the artist wryly stands back watching them play Giles Peterson* The Globe out. This is a multi-level musical project that could - in the hands Technasia Wax of someone less aware of the fine points- have gone horribly Fri Nov 10 Carl Craig Kennedy’s wrong. Mylo TBMC In fact, what McD recalls in his music and lyrics without Sat Nov 11 Klaxons, Switch Crawdaddy detracting from their range - is a romantic optimism and fleeting Fri & Sat Primal Scream Olympia whimsy that seems to have long been forgotten in the modern Sun Nov 12 The 4 Of Us Vicar St pre-occupation with volume, energy and drive. Vintage pop music with originality and substance: a nice balance. *= not to be missed Ronan Dempsey the 6 31st October 2006 MMusicusic College ssireniren ““I’mI’m jusjust an awkward sod wwhoho cocomplains a lot really”

Neil Hannon from ‘The Divine C Aidan Mac Guill about the ne his little complaints about mus

Neil Hannon is feeling very happy at the moment. in 1996 with ‘Casanova’, a snappy, refreshing albu Happy and wet. “We’re in Manchester, it’s dark packed with infectious pop tunes like ‘Frog Princes and it’s windy and it’s raining. It’s always like this and ‘Something For The Weekend’. It styled Ha when we’re here.” non as a foppish Lothario with a taste for life’s fin He’s currently on tour around Europe promoting things. He appeared in videos clad in sharp suits an The Divine Comedy’s critically acclaimed tenth al- sunglasses, sporting an immaculately kept hairdo. bum ‘Victory For The Comic Muse’. It’s taken him Their sound was characterised by flamboyan to Germany, France, Switzerland, Spain and the UK, lush orchestration and Hannon’s deep, restraine finishing up back in Ireland. singing voice, drolly delivering clever witticisms an Apparently he’s still enjoying being on the road. “Its pretty good, it’s long, “You have to keep trying very long, we seem to have been on the road forever. But there things, and it annoys a l have been very few shows that haven’t been up to top people, I think, if you do standard. “What we do on the road now stick to the same theor I find easier than in the old days, formula. But formulas ar because I have such an un- believably good band these sit-coms, not for musi days and it means I never really have to worry about what’s go- ing on behind me. We get them every time. literary references. We entertain.” The album also contained ‘Songs Of Love’, whi ‘Victory’ represents a bit of a return to became familiar to many in abbreviated form as th form for the Derry man, universally hailed as theme tune to the legendary sit-com ‘Father Ted’. one of his finest records to date. It displays a Hannon also wrote another song for the sho more mature sound when compared to the giddy, which many consider to be the greatest of all tim tongue-in-cheek pop of previous albums. But his ‘My Lovely Horse’ was a glorious ode to equine a uncanny ear for a tune remains. “Well reviews are fection, which Ted and Dougal famously sang as Ir always nice. Good reviews. land’s Eurovision entry, and this extra publicity ga “I’ve never really got a lot of bad press, ever, and the group’s profile a boost. that’s nice. A few more sales wouldn’t go amiss,” he 1997’s ‘A Short Album About Love’ and ‘Fin De Si jokes, “If there’s anybody out there who doesn’t cle’ in 98 helped to keep their fortunes on an upwa have it, what the hell are you doing. There are trajectory. ‘Fin De Siecle’ also provided their only to certain records that can actively enhance your ten hit to date in Britain, ‘National Express’, a quir life. This is one.” hymn to British coach travel. By the release of ‘Diva Lady’ gives Hannon’s trademark acerbic wit Secret History’, their 1999 best of collection, Hanno an airing, while ‘To Die A Virgin’ is a perfectly ob- had become a well known face. served insight into romantic teenage angst. But the band’s fortunes took a turn for the wor Accomplished as the new album is, it’s hard to shake "I'd love to do a film. But no the feeling that Hannon’s heart isn’t completely in the wants me. I know that I ca more light-hearted fare. Maybe it’s a it, from many things that w sign of age, but it’s when he takes on darker material that his song writing approximate to film music goes from good to exceptional. just happened to have wo The melancholy, devastating ‘Lady Of A Certain Age’ is the and were songs. So I'm ju stand out track of the album, a waiting patiently by the ph compelling tale of middle-aged misery. It has the bizarre effect for someone to ask. I'm wa of making you actually care about a bourgeois woman who loses it in 2001. Disillusioned by the ‘Oscar Wilde with all. Many have cited it as the best song guitar’ image he had previously embraced, Hanno he’s ever written. attempted something a little more serious. He le “I’m chuffed by that, I must admit. I was Setanta records, the tiny label that had nurtured Th pretty happy when I finished it. I thought Divine Comedy since their inception, and signed ‘Yeah, you’ve done alright’. I mean some- Parlaphone. times you start something like that and you This provided money and time. The dapper sui think ‘Oh crikey, I’ve got to get to the end of were replaced with baggy cords and trainers, the ha this story, but that time, I tried not to be lazy. grew long. He cut back on what he described as th “It’s a great song, it’s not a three and a “cheese” and hired uber-hip producer Nigel Godric half minute pop song, the hook is even if it most famous for his work with Radiohead. doesn’t get played that much on the radio, Hannon loosened the reins of control slightly an if anyone hears it they’re gonna like it, and allowed the band much more influence. The resu that’s the key.” was ‘Regeneration’. Stripped of the orchestral flou The Divine Comedy first came to prominence ishes and literary references, it’s exposed piano an the 7 ssireniren College Tribune MMusicusic 31st October 2006 “I’m just aann aawkwardwkward ssodod who compplainslains a llotot rreally”eally”

Comedy’ speaks to ew album, and all sic today um guitar sound came as a bit of a shock to fans. ss’ Hannon expected a backlash. “You have to keep an- trying new things, and it annoys a lot of people, I ner think, if you don’t stick to the same theory or for- nd mula. But formulas are for sit-coms, not for music.” The album received mixed reviews and didn’t sell nt, well. In fact it bombed, and the band never recov- ed ered. In 2003 Hannon fired the rest of the band, and nd disappeared to America to tour on his own and “get his head together.” g new He resurfaced in 2004 with ‘Absent Friends’, very much a solo effort. All the lot of previous Divine Comedy hallmarks re- turned, if perhaps the tone seemed a lit- on't tle more serious. Hannon kept himself busy between ‘Ab- ry or sent Friends’ and ‘Victory For The Comic re for Muse’, writing for the likes of Charlotte Gainsbourg and Jane Birkin. ic." When Father Ted co-creator Graham Linehan needed a theme tune for his new sitcom, Hannon received the call. “I spent most of the year doing something which last- ch ed about 30 seconds, which was the theme music to he ‘The I.T. Crowd’ for Graham Linehan. I foolishly said, ‘Whatever you want this time Graham, I’m gonna get ow, it absolutely right for you.’ me. “Because with Fr. Ted, literally, we had no time, I af- gave him two tunes and he chose one of them. But re- obviously I gave him far too much leeway because ave we did about 30 versions before we got the one.” He laughs at the suggestion of an album of ‘I.T. ie- Crowd’ alternatives. “I think that would be the dull- ard est record ever. I’ll leave that one. It’s quality not op quantity.” ky While writing for Charlotte Gainsbourg’s album, ‘A Hannon had the opportunity to work with French on pop icons ‘Air’. “That was fantastic, they’re all lovely people. se “It was really Nigel Godrich who got me the gig, because he was producing it. I think there obody are two songs on the record that I wrote I’m waiting.” then I’m struggling. I like records where I feel like the “I’m struggling to know what that role would be, the words for, and another one that I The Divine Comedy are supported on the Irish leg artist has got to get this out, they’ve got to tell you awkward sod who complains a lot maybe? I don’t an do wrote the words for didn’t go on that al- of their tour by rising Northern star Duke Special. something, and it’s absolutely crucial. really want to be known as an elder statesman, be- would bum but I actually ended up singing it for “It’s fantastic to have someone that is that good, and “A lot of records seem to strike me as, this kind-of cause I’m only 35 for god’s sake! I’m pretty fucking the new Air album. who I really want to big up. He’s going down a storm what you have to do - ‘Suppose we better make an lucky to still be here at all, and I’m very pleased c but “When I ran out of inspiration they got I have to say. album then, to go along with our clothes’.” that people still find my work essential, or worthy ords Jarvis (Cocker, of Pulp fame) in. He got “He seems to have a certain momentum at the Again he pauses after his initial rant. Hannon of note. I’m a very lucky guy, but I don’t want to be greedy, he did about eight tracks.” He moment and I hope we’re adding to it. We’ll be sup- cares about pop, and refuses to be throw-away in his on any councils.” So he’s just another song-writer, ust also joined forces again with Joby Talbot, porting him soon.” But what does Hannon think comments about it. These are heart-felt opinions. trying to get by? “Well I see myself as one of the hone the former BBC Young Composer Of The about the current state of the Irish music scene; “Maybe I’m being a little cruel. I do feel there’s an better ones,” he jokes. Year who had arranged the strings to The which, if certain journalists are to be believed, is awful lot of following the herd going on, and that’s So what does the future hold for The Divine Com- iting' Divine Comedy’s albums until the fallout thriving at the moment? The cerebral pop of acts ok to a degree, but you have to have a reason for edy? He laughs. “Well we’re sort of coming towards from ‘Regeneration’. like Fionn Regan and Director have recently drawn your existence, beyond the whims of fashion.” the end of this campaign, and there’s a wonderful a Talbot was arranging the score for the film version some comparisons to him. Being so disillusioned with contemporary music, I expanse of nothingness stretching out in front of on of ‘The Hitch-hikers Guide To The Galaxy’, and called “I’m not a man with an ear to the ground. I got wonder what he was listening to recording ‘Victory’. me, which I’m looking forward to. eft in Neil to provide vocals for one of the songs. “That rather depressed with the amount of Damien Rice “Oh the same old stuff. I listen to a wide range of “I intend to sit on my arse and watch the cricket, he was definitely job’s for the boys. He got the gig to do sound-alikes with their acoustic guitars, men who stuff. I don’t feel like I’m inherently influenced, I’m and take my daughter to and from school, and then to the music for the film, and they wanted a big sort-of can melt the hearts of a 1000 women but are ulti- just as likely to be influenced by things I don’t like. maybe think of doing some work next year.” croony Tony Bennett-esque song at the end. mately rather dull.” He pauses for a moment to re- What not to do. Cole Porter, Edith Piaf, Jacques Brel, This sounds like the words of someone look- its “He was kind enough to stick his neck out and flect. “That’s very cruel, I mean I think Damien Rice Scott Walker, Kraftwerk, ELO, Elvis Costello, Human ing forward to retirement. “I want to make better air insist that I did it. The money-men from Hollywood is a very talented bloke.” League, Flaming Lips, Belle And Sebastien, Nina Si- records, and to do better shows. If I thought the he wanted anybody except me.” He enjoyed the experi- What about pop music in general? He seems to mone, Johnny Cash, Queens Of The Stone Age, The output was somehow decreasing in value or in qual- ch, ence, and has thought about doing some more work have some beef here. “Well, you know, I don’t like to Smiths…Stravinsky.” ity I would stop, and do something else. for the big screen. “I’d love to do a film. But nobody grumble. But I think we’re in a pretty crap state. It’s Even surviving in the music industry My sound is always evolving, and when you think nd wants me. I know that I can do it, from many things just very rare that you get a record that you can’t do for more than decade is a remarkable feat, but to you’ve perfected it, you’re fucked I think. As long as I ult that would approximate to film music but just hap- without. I can think of about three from this decade also be successful is truly exceptional. Having been feel that there’s room for improvement then I’m still ur- pened to have words and were songs. So I’m just so far. around for so long, does he feel he has a certain role here, and your not getting rid of me,” he concludes nd waiting patiently by the phone for someone to ask. “Arcade Fire ‘Funeral’, and Arctic Monkeys, and now, particularly within the Irish music scene? in jest. 8 the 31st October 2006 HHealthealth College Tribune ssireniren No matter where or when... With cases of sexually transmitted infections on the rise in Ireland, Caitrina Cody examines the dangers of unprotected sex

It is crucial to spread the word persons that we are putting others and seeking medi- ourselves in danger by having cal help. unprotected sex and failing to get This in turn increases the pos- the proper tests carried out. sibility that the infected person Celebrities such as Scarlet Jo- will pass on the infection to oth- hansson should be applauded for ers. As many as one in three men drawing attention to the issue by and two in three women with a stating publicly that she receives chlamydia infection have no obvi- testing for STIs twice a year. ous signs or symptoms. She told reporters, “One has to Without treatment, an infec- be socially aware. It's part of being tion can proceed to cause more a decent human, to be tested for long-term damage to your health. STIs. Its just disgusting behaviour A woman may only realize that when people don't. That's just so she is infected with chlamydia or irresponsible." gonorrhea when she finds out later Sexually transmitted infections in life that she is infertile or has are increasing, and by participat- an entopic pregnancy. This lack of ing in unprotected sex, men and awareness leads the public to un- women are risking the contrac- derestimate the dangers involved tion of infections such as ano- with unprotected sex and to forego genital warts, herpes, chlamydia, preventative precautions. gonorrhea, hepatitis B, urethritis, Alcohol and drug use play an syphilis and HIV. important role in the spread of Infections are passed on infections because they impair through sexual contact involv- our judgment and leave us more ing the exchange of bodily fluids. likely to take risks. According to While questions of protection Dr. Sheila Martin, medical director might seem unromantic and of the Irish Family Planning As- non-spontaneous to the aver- sociation, Ireland has a very young age student, there is nothing population and a very sexual one less romantic than a genital wart too. “It (alcohol) does lower inhibi- infection. tions and people are more likely to alised culture, more people than towards sexual responsibility campaign was launched in Ireland According to a report from forget to be safe." ever are having sex with more are improved. In 2004, the Crisis in order to highlight dangerous the Department of Health, the This is particularly relevant, partners and at an increasingly Pregnancy Agency published a sexual behaviour. Campaigns such numbers of cases of certain STIs, she says, at certain times of the young age. report on sexuality in Ireland. as this help to promote awareness including chlamydia and gonorrhea year when consumption increases: But, while we as a generation One startling result is that one and should encourage men and have soared. The number of sexu- such as Christmas, bank holiday are less repressed sexually, we quarter of the participants in women to make positive choices ally transmit- weekends and still tend to be understandably the survey that will ted infections when people secretive and private about our felt that if a protect their in 2003 was go abroad on sexual behaviour. woman carries health. 11,000, more “It (alcohol) holidays. Talking openly and comfort- condoms while “Fear of being Finally, if than four times Increasing ably about sex and sexuality is not in a long- you feel that the number in does lower numbers of difficult even in intimate relation- term relation- labeled as you have 1989. post-Leaving ships, even is this era of sexual ship, it gives placed yourself Many of us inhibitions Certificate excess. Everybody wants to be the impression promiscuous at risk in the feel that it is students are sexually active, it appears, but do that she is is leading Irish past, don't de- not a problem and people are going on cel- we actually want to understand ‘looking for lay - get your- that we per- more likely ebratory holi- what we're doing? sex'. women to risk self screened. sonally need days in Crete This secrecy about sexual- “Fear of Many STIs are to worry about to forget to and Corfu ity and STIs adversely effects being labeled unplanned curable and all but the only where binge prevention of infection by thwart- as promiscu- are treatable. way to be sure be safe" drinking is the ing sex education programs for ous is leading pregnancy" By refusing to that we are not norm and Dr adolescents, hindering communi- Irish women to think about infected is to Martin believes cation between parents and chil- risk unplanned your sexual practice safe sex by using con- that it is vital that they are aware dren and between sex partners, pregnancy rather than protect health, you are endangering the doms and to be tested regularly in of the dangers of unsafe sex. promoting unbalanced sexual themselves," remarked Agency health of those you are intimate a sexual health clinic. There is a stigma associ- messages in the media, obstruct- Chairperson Olive Braiden. But it with. The silent nature of STIs rep- ated with sexually transmitted ing education and counseling is not only an unwanted preg- Protect yourself at all times resent their greatest public health infections that often discourages activities and impeding research nancy that women risk through and arm yourself with informa- threat. Many infections display people from seeking information on sexual behaviour. unprotected sex; their health is at tion. For more information, there little or no symptoms initially and about their sexual health. With the In order to slow down the rise stake also. are online resources at www. this leads to a delay in infected advent of a liberal, highly sexu- in STIs it is vital that attitudes The ‘Think Contraception' thinkcontraception.ie. the 9 ssireniren College Tribune FFashionashion 19th September 2006 9 A stylish bit of this and that As winter approaches, the College Tribune takes a look at the styles and trends around campus and asks four students to describe their views on their own fashion likes and dislikes. Maree Rigney and Joanna Cochrane investigate the individual approaches to personal style that make fashion more interesting. IN

What shops do you usually What shops do you usu- shop in? ally shop in? Knitted Miss Selfridge, Topshop, H&M, River Island Oasis, H&M hats How would you describe How would you describe your sense of style? Keep the chills away with your sense of style? Usually casual with a punk cosy knitted hats in soft I'm influenced by fashion influence neutral shades as seen on in magazines and the media Lindsay Lohan and Keira What’s your favourite thing Knightley. What's your favourite about fashion? thing about fashion? It is great to be able to You can express your- transform your style when- Ankle self and establish your own ever you feel like it, fashion is sense of identity constantly changing, it never boots gets boring. What is your least fa- Available in any colour or vourite part of fashion or What is your least favourite shape, the ankle boot is a trend? part of fashion or trend? quirky alternative to the The “D4 girl" look. I’m not a fan of the whole knee-high and will still keep “emo” trend. your feet dry. Who would you describe as your style icon? Who would you describe as Kate Moss and Sienna your style icon? Cricket Miller. I don’t really have an icon, I just see things I like and buy jumpers them. Comfortable and practical, the cricket jumper is a fash- ion essential this winter, especially when teamed with ankle boots and knit- Lisa ted hats. Julian

What shops do you usu- Fake nails ally shop in? Get rid of your French polish River Island, Topshop and gel nails because this season calls for more natu- How would you describe ral look- shorter nails with your sense of style? subtle dark colours are the I normally have a quirky way to go. element to my outfits.

What shops do you What's your favourite usually shop in? thing about fashion? Hair Penneys. I enjoy the fun aspect of extensions dressing up and creating How would you describe different outfits. These must go the way of your sense of style? the gel nails as fashion em- Casual. What is your least fa- braces a low-maintenance vourite part of fashion or less-is-more ideal. What’s your favourite trend? thing about fashion? Having to dress up eve- Fashion just doesn’t re- ryday and make the effort Pink ally interest me. can be annoying. mobile What is your least favourite Who would you describe part of fashion or trend? as your style icon? phones I dislike the whole idea I really love Gwen Stefa- of trends in general. ni's unique sense of style. No. They’re just not cute.

Who would you describe as your style icon? I don’t have one OUT Dani Ashleigh the 10 31st October 2006 FFilmilm College Tribune ssireniren Dialogue MMagicagicthe prestige nnnnn “Every great magic trick consists of three acts. The der to keep the viewer on their toes. Some critics first act is called ‘The Pledge’; the magician shows claim this is a bad thing and that the story should be you something ordinary, but of course, it probably simple to follow but this reporter disagrees. isn’t. Other intellectual films that grab the viewer by the “The second act is called ‘The Turn’; the magician jugular, so that they won’t miss makes his ordinary something a beat, have been proven to be- do something extraordinary. come cult classics. Take ‘Don- Now if you’re looking for the nie Darko’, ‘Reservoir Dogs’ and secret, you won’t find it. ‘The Butterfly Effect’ as proof That’s why there’s a third act of this. called, ‘The Prestige’; this is the Basically, ‘The Prestige’ tells part with the twists and turns, the story of Alfred Borden and where lives hang in the balance, Rupert Angier. The film opens and you see something shock- in a courtroom and we see ing you’ve never seen before.” Borden as the defendant on These are the opening lines trial for the murder of Rupert from the twist filled murder mys- Angier. tery that is from the great minds of Christopher and Through flashbacks we see that Angier and Borden Jonathan Nolan. were two magicians who once worked together as It’s a film about magicians and magic tricks, but a team, but became rivals when Angier’s wife, Julia don’t turn your nose up at it just yet, this is no Harry (Perabo), dies tragically during a magic trick, for which Potter and definitely not a film aimed at children. Angier blames ‘The Prestige’ is a fast paced film that falls under Borden. a number of genres, including, drama, thriller, mys- As the story unfolds we see the rivalry between tery and suspense. ‘The Prestige’ is also filled to the the two men grow more and more malicious, resulting brim with well known actors including, Christian Bale, in horrifying and tragic acts as the two use any means Hugh Jackman, Scarlett Johansson, Michael Caine, possible to be a better magician than the other. Piper Perabo and David Bowie. ‘The Prestige’ is easily one of the most intellectual- The film is different from most blockbuster films ly stimulating films of 2006, with outstanding in many ways. It has three narrators, Cutter (Caine), performances from the cast and Borden (Bale) and Angier (Jackman) and if the viewer great directing from Christopher is not paying attention this could Nolan. become horribly confusing. Bottom line, it’s not to be To add to that confu- missed. sion the story is also told through flashbacks, in or- Cian Taaffe

I caught a fish this big: Michael Caine looks on in amazement in The Prestige A fairly poor tale of misfortune

Set in North London, Sixty Six tells Bernie had hoped that his big day in the vain of other similar movies like the tale of young Bernie Rueben (Gregg would be set in a big fancy hotel like his ‘About a Boy' or even ‘Four Weddings Sulkin), a young Jewish boy who feels older brothers was, but his father's (Ed- and a Funeral', but its just not as that he is going through life unnoticed die Marsan) business suffers a decline enjoyable. by anybody, even his parents. in profits. The underlying tone of the script, He's the kid in school who gets With his rodent-like father being the developing relationship between picked last for football, gets picked on strapped for cash, Bernie's Bar-Mitzvah father and son is weak and uninspiring. for wearing glasses and never seems to venue is getting smaller by the day. However the movie does contain some get credit for anything he does. Bernie and his Father's bad fortune truly funny moments, most of which But all of that is about to change if culminate when their house is devas- are supplied by Bernie's blind Rabbi who Bernie has anything to do with it. He tated in a fire, which incinerates the steals the moment every time he's on feels that his upcoming Bar Mitzvah will screen. be the day that turns his life around. Other memorable performances He invests all his hopes and dreams sixty six nnnpp come from Bernie's mother (Helena in the big day, to be at long last the Bonham Carter) and his doctor who centre of attention (for a day at least). teaches him all about football (Stephen But things never go smoothly for father's life savings, which he had kept Rea). Bernie. in the attic away from the reach of the The film is weak on drama and the It's the year in which England are taxman. plot isn't anything really new nor inspir- hosting the world cup and the final falls With the Bar Mitzvah held in a ing but the film does provide us with on the same day as Bernie's all impor- greatly undesired venue and with the some real laugh-out-loud moments. tant rite of passage. big cup final on, Bernie's big day is not Sixty Six is worth a look but don't ex- He watches anxiously as England quite as he had imagined it previously, pect too much. march on the world cup final, which of but will he make the most of it? course they win. This British comedy drama follows Stephen Humphries the 11 ssireniren College Tribune Film 31st October 2006 just isn’t enough...

As Marie Antoinette bursts onto cinema screens this week in an eclectic mix of punk music, extravagant costumes and sumptuous Marie Antoinette is just the latest masterclass in a long line cakes, all eyes are on the films young director Sofia Coppola, who has sparked controversy by of fi lms from director Sofi a Coppola, writes Orla Kenny portraying the French queen in a very sympa- thetic and compassionate light. yearning. Her first foray into the world of di- her dealing with similar themes to previous eagerly awaited her next instalment. And then She introduces the French queen as a nave recting was a short film entitled ‘Lick the Star'. films. Bob is a disillusioned actor and Charlotte came Marie Antoinette. Her first big-budget and likeable teenager, unprepared for the social When released, this provocative piece which the neglected wife of a high-powered photogra- film, Coppola went all out on this one. Manolo responsibilities that face her at Versailles deals with the fickle friendships of a group of pher, and while in Tokyo these two very differ- Blahnik designed hundreds of elaborate shoes following her marriage to Louis. While some 12-year-old girls showcased Coppola's unwill- ent characters undergo a chance meeting. for the film. In every second scene, Kirsten criticise her interpretation and the fact that ingness to rely on dialogue to tell her stories. Over a period of a few days they strike up Dunst, playing Antoinette, is surrounded by the film is lacking in historical context, in Instead, making use of her innate sense of a friendship that is as deep and delicate as it mountains of frosted cakes, while the backdrop reality this film shows Coppola doing what she where to place a camera in order to create is brief. This film is an absolute gem, with all to the movie is the Palace of Versaille. does best. beautiful, evocative imagery that speaks vol- shots perfectly executed and all roles perfectly Lavish is not the word. And with all this That is presenting her audience with umes to the audience. cast. Coppola wrote the screenplay for this film extravagance, many critics have accused her extremely humane characters, and encourag- This film is also herself and always had Bill of selling out, of failing to tell the true story of ing us to explore the raw emotions they are the first example of "The majority of us Murray in mind for the lead the queen in favour of shallow, crowd-pleas- experiencing, feelings of isolation, confusion her ability to draw out have cousins who are role. ing costumes and props. But, in reality, to and longing. Perhaps Marie Antoinette is not superb performances Through huge dedication subscribe to this view is to miss the point of the most conventional take on this period of from young female teachers, doctors (she claims to have left the film entirely. French history but then again, there is nothing leads, with Audrey or accountants. messages on his answer- Had she wanted to, Coppola could easily conventional or ordinary about Sofia Coppola. Heaven performing her ing machine every day for have directed a much more restrained version The daughter of legendary director Francis role with confidence Coppola's cousins six months), she secured of Antoinette's life. Instead, by overwhelming Ford Coppola, Coppola is the very definition of and dignity just as him for the role of Bob and the audience with the gluttony and extrava- well connected. While most children make do Kirsten Dunst and include Nicholas without doubt her persist- gance of the French court she is allowing us with a couple of swings and a slide, Coppola's Scarlett Johanssen Cage, it was always ence paid off. Murray is to experience a little of what the queen would childhood playground was the exotic set of would do in later films. a comic genius and the have experienced on arriving at Versaille. ‘Apocalypse Now'. While most peoples fathers Though ‘Lick the inevitable that humour in the film offsets It's fair enough to note that there is not bring home friends from the pub, Coppola's Dad Star' was well re- Coppola would end the strong sense of isola- much reference to the civil unrest that was brought home Marlon Brando. ceived, it wasn't until tion experienced by both taking place in the country at the time. Howev- The majority of us have cousins who are Coppola directed her up working in the characters as they seek er this was no accidental omission. Rather it is teachers, doctors or accountants. Coppola's first feature length film industry" solace in one Coppola showing us how removed Antoinette cousins include Nicholas Cage. With a back- film ‘The Virgin Sui- another. was from the goings on of her country, ground like this, it was always somewhat cides' that the people Their ensconced in her palace at Versaille. inevitable that Coppola would end up began to take note of this emerging talent. relationship is that rare She is presenting the view that the working in the film industry in some ca- ‘The Virgin Suicides' tells the story of a thing, a friendship born out mistakes of excess made by queen pacity and, after an unfortunate turn in group of boys who become obsessed with the of nothing, and it is a were made out of ignorance rather than front of the camera (see the Godfather five beautiful Lisbon sisters, mysterious girls testament to Coppola's malice or disregard. III), she eventually ended up in her who have moved to their small American town vision that she chose By introducing us to the queen rightful place behind the scenes in the with their strict parents. When one of the not to develop a romance through a 21st Century filter of contempo- director's chair. sisters commits suicide the girls mother ef- between Bob and Charlotte rary music and alcohol-fuelled parties, But while it is fair to say that her fectively imprisons them in their home and the as this would have served she makes this story very accessible to extensive family connections afforded boys can only watch helplessly as the sisters' only to cheapen the modern day audiences. In essence, this her a wealth of extraordinary oppor- lives deteriorate. film. Lost in Transla- is a story similar to that of her previous tunities, it's equally fair to say that In lesser hands this film could easily have tion was received films, the tale of someone who has lost she has matched these opportunities descended into a dismal mess of darkness, to great acclaim, their way and is overwhelmed by the with extraordinary talent and that violence and gratuitous sex, yet Coppola knows with awards being world around them. she stands today on her own merit exactly where to draw the line, leaving the girls heaped on the Having spent the last decade as one of the most talented direc- shrouded in mystery for the audience as well as actors, producers directing and writing, Sofia Coppola tors around. for the teenage boys who worship them. In do- and on Coppola is certainly upholding the family From the outset, Sofia Cop- ing so she creates a very delicate film, without herself. reputation and we can only hope pola has been a natural behind the ever forsaking the intensity of the story. Darling of that she continues in the same camera, showing an innate ability She followed ‘The Virgin Suicides' with the the film vein, directing poignant, intricate to deal with the sensitive themes of Oscar winning ‘Lost in Translation' starring Bill industry, and entertaining films. Murray and Scarlett Johanssen. Again we see critics teenage alienation, uncertainty and Number 1 Fan: Kirsten Dunst in Marie Antoinette Come see my movie film Scenes from Kazakhstan in this film include a ‘Chase the Jew’ from no monkey, or tadpole”. As the preacher preaches, members parade, where someone dressed up as a Jewish woman lays of the crowd randomly run around with their hands in the air, a gigantic Jew egg and then the local kids have to kick it to shouting, with crazed looks on their faces. It is frightening to death before it hatches. think that these people’s views provide a mandate for George Is Kazakhstan like this in real life? Roman Vassilenko, press Bush. secretary for the Embassy of Kazakhstan, was quick to dispel This movie is as funny as Anchorman, or Dumb and Dumber. the misconceptions that Borat encourages in this movie. “Women This movie also serves to mock Americans themselves. Con- are not kept in cages, the national sport is not shooting a dog sidering how isolated America tends to be, ‘Borat’ is important and then having a party, you cannot earn a living being a gypsy as a mirror through which Americans can see themselves. catcher, wine is not made from fermented horse urine, it is not In a lot of ways, this movie follows in the tradition of customary for a man to grab another man’s testicles.” Michael Moore films, but unlike Moore’s films, ‘Borat’ wont Leaving aside Vassilenko’s protestations for a moment, this be just preaching to the converted. The interesting thing movie is painfully funny. If you however, like some depth to your about this movie is that it shows American society to be films, Borat also works as a stinging critique of American society. not all that different from Cohen’s depiction of Kazakhsta- The Christian right, as depicted here, are arguably more disturbing ni society, which, in effect, is a fictitious and outrageous than Islamic fundamentalists. The scenes where Borat goes to a comedy creation. This realisation could be humbling for a lot Christian service are deeply shocking. of Americans. borat The preacher casually denies evolution saying, “I didn’t come Eoin Murphy nnnnp 12 the 31st October 2006 BBooksooks College Tribune ssireniren Dealing with life The frustrated & love voice of the When starting to read ‘Moon Tiger', you prob- ably won't like the main character, Middle East Claudia Hampton. Alan Tully reviews Robert Fisk’s astounding autobiograpgical She seems selfish, proud and obsti- account of his wartime journalism, that includes meetings with nate. She treats Osama Bin Laden high in the mountains of the middle east her daughter like an uninterest- Writing as a Foreign Correspondent for both ing imposition on The Times and The Independent newspapers her personal life, in Britain and reporting for Canadian Radio, relentlessly bul- Robert Fisk is a name that has become syn- lies her brother's onymous with Western perspectives on the wife and all the recent history of the Middle East. With over 30 while insisted on years experience in reporting on political con- her own ferocious Penelope Lively flict from Afghanistan to Beirut to Iraq, He is intelligence. arguably the most famous Western journalist But force Moon Tiger involved in the region. yourself to nnnnp read on, and He has been both widely celebrated and wide- you'll find the book to ly derided for his insistence on reporting based be complex, true, and impossible to put out of your on his own personal analysis of the foreign affairs thoughts. that he covers. His refusal to report objectively The book consists of interwoven strands of without criticising the US-British-Israeli political memories, jumping back and forth in time. For the agenda has made him a hugely controversial fig- ure and ultimately forced him to resign his posi- most part, it is Claudia who narrates, from a hospital Robert Fisk bed where she lays dying, but from time to time, tion with The Times. passages are retold from the point of view of another Fisk’s 30 years experience have been compiled into a book which marries the cultural divisions, The Great War for Civilisation character. This technique results in a deep under- nnnnp standing of Claudia's mind, and insight into the alienation and historical chaos of the Middle East minds of her friends and family. with his own personal views and eyewitness ac- worth a book of their own. For instance he de- would weigh the others The more we learn about Claudia, the more we see counts of the countless tragedies which unfolded scribes his three different meetings with Osama down. that her life has been far from easy. There have been across the region. Bin Laden during the 1990s, prior to the campaign This ideology of this frighteningly efficient three main love affairs in her life, none of which had a On top of this, he has linked the Middle East of embassy bombings. His descriptions of Bin method of state murder would become clear to happy ending. of the present through various strands of history Laden’s various living situations, manner of talk- the world in the aftermath of the Second World First, there was her brother, Gordon, the only including his own father’s adventures in Mesopo- ing and conversations are truly fascinating as Fisk War, but the Armenian Genocide has been utterly person who can match her intelligence and wit. She tamia (modern day Iraq) during the First World allows us to see America’s most wanted as more denied by Turkey and by most Western powers. measures everyone she meets by him, and is deeply War and the background history of the Bin Laden than just a video montage on the evening news. The reason for this, Fisk claims, is that to admit disappointed in his bland, uninteresting choice of family’s involvement in Saudi, Afghan and US fi- The reporter’s ability to record and remember it during the last century would have been detri- Sylvia for a wife. nance and politics. full conversations allows us to digest Bin Laden’s mental to the terms of the post-war peace deals Then there was Tom, the great love of her life, The resulting work is entitled ‘The Great War arguments and justifications on conducting his of 1919, which saw Turkey as the major Imperial stolen from her for the rest of her life in both time for Civilisation’, and while concerning the wars of war against the US and its allies. However con- gateway to the Middle East. and place. He remains forever in wartime Egypt, while the Middle East, the title comes from the words trived and grotesque they may be, Fisk in his an- What ‘The Great War for Civilisation’ excels in, she survives and moves on. found on the back of his father’s First World War ecdotes opens up the possibility for the reader is revealing that hidden aspect of history, which She keeps the heavy weight of grief to herself, campaign medal. From the start of this epic his- that Bin Laden is not just a back water monster, schools, governments and the media fail to ac- which makes it impossible for either her lover or her torical narrative, Fisk makes it pointedly clear that but an intelligent person well versed in Middle count for. Fisk’s horrific and nightmarish recount- daughter to get through to her. the problems of the Middle Eastern history and ing of the chaotic trench warfare during the eight Jasper, the father of her only child, is last in the East today evolved as a re- international political year Iran-Iraq war in the ‘80s takes some stom- list of lovers, clever, witty, but too smooth, too soul- sult of mammoth mistakes "Fisk's critics might struggles. ach to bear. less and opportunistic for her to open up to him fully. in international diplomacy savage his portrayal of Though Fisk’s crit- SSigfriedigfried SSassoonassoon oorr RRobertobert GGravesraves ccouldould wwellell The most important aspects of Claudia's char- during the first half of the the terrorist leader as ics might savage hhaveave wwrittenritten mmanyany ooff tthehe eeyewitnessyewitness aaccountsccounts ooff acter are precisely those that offend at first glance. 20th Century. his portrayal of the tthehe cconflict.onflict. TThehe ddescriptionsescriptions ooff ccorpsesorpses mmangledangled She is vain, egocentric and convinced of her own This is repeated through- grossly irresponsible, terrorist leader as iinn nnoo mman’san’s llandand oorr iinn aabandonedbandoned ttrenchesrenches aandnd genius. But by the end of the book that is no longer out when as he offers exam- the point that the grossly irresponsible, ddiscolourediscoloured vvictimsictims ooff ggassingsassings wwhosehose llastast aactct important. ples of times when imperial the point that the au- wwasas ttoo uurinaterinate oonn tthemselveshemselves aarere ggruellingruelling bbutut Her pride is justified, many of the difficulties powers have repeated the author is making is thor is making is that aarere aalsolso iimportantmportant ttestimoniesestimonies ttoo tthehe ddeadead ooff a in her life have sprung from the fact that she was same mistakes in the region that Bin Laden is Bin Laden is highly wwarar tthathat tthehe WWestest fforgot.orgot. simply too intelligent. Her fiery independence is what time and time again. For in- highly intelligent intelligent and moti- TThehe eextractsxtracts ooff iinterviewsnterviews wwithith ttortureorture vvictimsictims shaped her life, and one begins to see how difficult stance, we find a history of vated and this makes ooff tthehe IIranianranian pprisonrison ssystemystem uundernder tthehe AAyatollahyatollah her choices must have been. the late 19th Century British and motivated" the danger he poses KKhomeinihomeini oorr SSaddamaddam HHussein’sussein’s ppurgingurging ooff tthehe It becomes clear why Claudia and Sylvia don't get imperial designs on Afghani- all the more frightening. IIraqiraqi bbodyody ppoliticolitic aarere eequallyqually vvisceralisceral aandnd ssome-ome- along, despite Sylvia's desperate attempts to please. stan being thwarted by the native Afghans and The most fascinating piece of the book is the ttimesimes wwhilehile rreadingeading tthishis vveryery ccomplexomplex aandnd llargearge We also come to understand why Claudia and her the unique geography of the land being repeated chapter entitled ‘The First Holocaust’ which is bbook,ook, iitt ccanan aalmostlmost bbecomeecome ttoooo mmuchuch ttoo ttake.ake. daughter Lisa manage to sail past each other in each in the Soviet Invasion of the ‘80s and the present slightly separate from the rest of the narrative, PPerhapserhaps tthishis iiss wwhathat FFiskisk wwasas hhopingoping ttoo aachieve.chieve. attempt they make to communicate honestly. US attempts to wage a War on Terror there. which is about Fisk’s career conducted mostly in WWhilehile oonn oonene hhandand bbeingeing aann aautobiographyutobiography In short, ‘Moon Tiger' shows a whole life, an indi- Likewise Fisk describes the British occupa- a chronological manner. This chapter is Fisk’s in- aandnd a ttaleale ooff jjournalisticournalistic aadventuredventure aandnd oonn tthehe vidual set of circumstances and how they were dealt tion of Mesopotamia during the First World War vestigation and historical study of the Armenian ootherther hhandand bbeingeing a cconciseoncise hhistoryistory ooff tthehe wworld’sorld’s with. As the novel goes on, a real person grows in through notes from his father and his comrades, Genocide of 1915. mmostost ccomplexomplex rregion,egion, ‘‘TheThe GGreatreat WWarar fforor CCivilisa-ivilisa- front of you, flawed and lonely, proud and obstinate. in a manner that bears a stark resemblance in This mass killing of Armenians by the Turk- ttion’ion’ iiss uultimatelyltimately tthehe ffrustratedrustrated vvoiceoice ooff mmillionsillions It is impossible for Claudia to reach out when she terms of chaos and futility that we are witness- ish Government involved the deaths of over 1.5 iinn tthehe MMiddleiddle EEastast bbeingeing ggiveniven tthehe cchancehance ttoo needs to, and it's terrible to see what she misses ing in Iraq today. million innocent people, the entire clearing eexplainxplain tthemselveshemselves aandnd vvoiceoice ttheirheir aangersngers because she doesn't feel those around her will under- Throughout the course of its 1300 pages ‘The of towns and villages and the rape and aandnd ffearsears ttoo tthehe ddisinterestedisinterested ppeopleeople aandnd stand. Great War for Civilisation’ paints an absolutely selling into slavery of women to Kurd- ggovernmentsovernments ooff tthehe WWest.est. By the book's end, the reader is convinced that unique image of the Middle East. While Fisk has ish mercenaries and tribesmen. The en- TThishis bbookook pprovesroves tthathat iiff oonene tthing,hing, Claudia is special, that somehow the rules shouldn't been heavily attacked for not reporting objectively tire tragedy is brought into focus as Fisk RRobertobert FFiskisk ccertainlyertainly hheededeeded wwhathat ttheyhey have to apply to her. But they do, and as her body and allowing his personal bias dominate his line reconstructs the massacre at Margada hhadad ttoo ssay.ay. AAfterfter rreadingeading tthroughhrough and her mind degenerate, you see Claudia in all her of argument, in this book it would be impossi- where up to 50,000 people where iitsts mmanyany ppages,ages, iitt iiss vveryery ddif-if- vulnerability. ble to show the fundamental problems of Middle roped together and drowned in fficulticult nnotot ttoo hhearear ssomeome ooff tthehe ‘Moon Tiger', in all its evocative brilliance, shows Eastern politics and the Western approaches to the local river while some of ccriesries aass yyouou ccloselose tthehe bbackack the difficulties that come with being an intelligent resolving them without tracing the path of histo- the victims were ccover.over. woman, and should be on every syllabus in existence. ry through Fisk’s eyewitness accounts of war and machine- terror, interviews with leaders and rebels, and his Fisk: One of the world's gunned to most respected Hannah Kousbroek thoughts on 20th Century history. ensure they commentators Many of these accounts and interviews are