• A look back at 's Seven Deadly (IF NOT PRETlY DARNED EMBARRASSING) Sins of 1998

I I . I . i \ \ \ \ \ ~ .. • AN ESSAY BY DAV I D R I C H LEWIS Saints and Sinners: For a split second, they thought it was a reenactment of the plague of UTAH'S PAST AND PRESENT locusts. Mistakenly believing it was flying over a sporting event, a flig ht service towing a St. George radio station's banner acciden­ tally buzzed the dedication of the Memorial Encampment at Dixie College. The station later issued a printed apology, explaining in is a funny thing-not funny virtue and the changes we are experienc­ that it was a "strong supporter of the culture "ha, ha:• but funny relative. As a ing." He observes that "most people walk and heritage of Southern Utah." historian, I'm fascinated by each backward into change:• and that those Runs with scissors. Doesn't play well generation's public search for sin. "who place the locus of the 'virtuous life' w ith others. Tooele School Its inevitable discovery leads peo­ somewhere in the past are constantly Superintendent james W. Buckley resigned looking back towards it, instead of watch­ in August after a series of run-ins with the ple to bemoan the declining state of near­ law. He pleaded no contest i.n April to a mis­ ly everything and to prophesy imminent ing out for what is coming." Unable to demeanor charge of telephone harassment. crisis. Each generation looks at the next dearly see or grapple with change, their \ ccording to a Cedar City police report, causative explanations stumble into the Buckley was accused of "breathing heavily and sees the world going to hell. The and moaning and groaning in a sexual past- their past, or the past their parents realm of judgements based on moral dis­ nature" on a night last March when he made told them about, or the past they imagine gust with their own humanity and several telephone calls to a woman who had their ancestors lived- is somehow always modernity. Sin is the present, virtue the been a fa mily friend in Cedar City. Buckley, past. who made the calls while on a business trip more moral, right, just, and "traditional" to Cedar City, said he called repeatedly than the present they inhabit or the Utah is a particularly interesting because he wanted to talk to the woman, but future they fear. The phenomenon is easi­ case study because sin has been a Utah "chickened out." Several months later, he constant, despite what the pundits, politi­ was arrested for having an open beer in his ly observable in the writings of Cicero, pickup truck when police pulled him over Virgil, and Horace; in Livy's History of cians, and preachers say. In fact, sin used Rome and Plato's Republic; in the millen­ to be a lot more fun and acceptable in the nialism of the MiddJe Ages and the con­ past than it is now. Take, for example, fusion of the Reformation; in Rousseau's polygamy. Confessions and Henry Adam's Yes, indeed, the old "twin relic of Education; in Joseph Wood Krutch's barbarism" has reared its ugly head again lament of the Modern Temper, and in in the Beehive State, or more accurately, Bob Dole's 1996 presidential campaign. has attracted media attention because of It's observable in that phrase you just (I) the outrageous actions of some of its used on your own child or grandchild: "I estimated twenty to forty thousand prac­ remember when . .. the good ole days ... titioners and (2) our puerile yet puritani­ standards back then . .. but today's youth cal preoccupation with sex, in public and ... no sense of tradition . . . disrespect . . . private lives. We've got polygamists in goin' to hell in a handbasket!" We idealize Bountiful, Draper, and central Utah the past and define what we see today as building giant homes, complexes for their evidence of an increase in evil and the domestic multitudes. We had Alex wages of sin because it's easier than fac­ Joseph, that "proud heretic," who died ing our fears of the future and of change. recently. From his " Kingdom of God" in My friend and colleague Norm Jones Big Water, surrounded by seven wives, he teaches the history of Christianity. He denounced a world that tolerated adul­ points out that "we often confuse change tery but hounded him for his conjugal with evil, that our fears are often created solution. There are the polygamous com­ \ by the friction between our system of munities of Hildale, Utah and Colorado

JANUARYIFEBfUARY 1999 86 City, Arizona where members of the for having expired license plates. entries had been plagiarized. "It's a tragedy," Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ said Geraldine Felt , a member of the Utah Maybe the judge sho uld s wat him on State Poetry Society and director of the orga­ of Latter-day Saints resist both federal the nose with a rolle d -up newspa per. nization's student contest. "I don't know and Mormon church control, yet dip A Kaysville teenager who told parents and what to do. We try hard" to catch im itations deeply into the welfare system. And who investigators that he was attacked by a dog and plagiarisms. "If anyone has any sugges­ while jogging later admitted he made up the tions, I'd love to hear them." can forget Jim Harmston and his True story and confessed he was bit by a neigh­ and Living Church of Jesus Christ of bor's golden retriever after he jumped over a Saints of the Last Days in Manti? He has fe nce and tried to quiet the dog's barking. The fifteen-year-old boy received more than reportedly called "morons" one hundred stitches on his face and arm. He and acknowledged that one of his wives was referred to the county attorney for pos­ (a sixteen-year-old) was not a good sible charges of criminal trespass and filing a lover, but "she's the most cuddling little false police report. thing you ever saw in all your life." His time w ould ha ve been better And then there are the descendants r'ft'n r r(. 0 ,! s pe nt working on tha t free throw. In and followers of John Ortdl Kingston, july, Karl Malone teamed with Diamond sitting on a $150 million polygamous Dallas Page aga inst Hollywood Hogan and Thievery! Chicago Bulls fo rward Dennis Rodman in empire in Box Elder County. The World Championship Wrestling's "Bash at Kingstoos are accused of a host of sins the Beach." The spectacle ea rned the including arranged polygan1ous mar­ Mailman a $900,000 paycheck, even though riages, incest, and child abuse. (hie) Ha s anybody seen my car? (hie) he and Page lost the match when their oppo­ I t hink it has a bunch of lights a nd a nents cheated. Many jazz fan s apparently felt Revelations about the belt-whipping of a la dde r on it. A woman who took a cheated as well when their favorite power minor girl for refusing to marry her $350,000, rwo-ton fi re truck out on a 2:30 forward entered the cartoon-like world of polygamous uncle started things, but a.m. spin faced up to five years in prison after pro wrestli ng. "At least Malone outper­ pleading guilty to joy ridi ng with the intent formed Rodman tonight," one audience stories about fifteen-year-old Andrea to temporarily deprive the owner, a third- member philosophized. "But maybe Ka rl Johnson broke the camel's back. Married degree felony. According to a should stick to basketball." to her half-brother, she died shortly after Salt Lake City police Did s ome one m e ntio n som e thing delivering their son. The son, now six report, officers w e r e a bout a free t hrow? Two radio broad­ years old and suffering from cerebral respo nd ing casters who criticized Malone's performance palsy, is being raised by his father who to a domes­ during the NBA Fi nals earned the Mailman's has since married his own niece. It's a tic violence ire following the Jazz's loss to the Chicago call when the Bulls. David Locke and dose family, and the state isn't prepared woman approached Tom Nissalke, to do anything about it. Even Owen saying he was intoxicated and requested both broad- Allred, eighty-four-year-old polygamous help locating her car. After agreeing to wait casters on l1'll.ITde rn.rrtJie rassle for a cab, she tried to drive away in the fire the jazz- rn.rrtJie Q-W:Je rrunble leader of the Apostolic United Brethren mumble chidren mumble respect truck. The woman, whose ride was cut short rrunble rrunble rassJe mumble in Bluffdale, is trying to di.stance himself when an officer jumped onto the truck and Q-W:Je rn.rrtJie chilcten from them, fearful of the public back­ ordered her to stop, said she tried to take the ll1lX11ble respect lash: "Just because we believe in the truck because she thought the emergency workers were laughing at her. teachings of doesn't make us like the Kingstons." No, it doesn't, but The giveaw ay was that no line then Allred is still trying to regroup e nde d with "Na ntuc ke t." Organizers of an annual competition from a 1977 bloodbath when Ervil for young poets realized after awards LeBaron and his Church of the Lamb of had been handed out that two of the God tried to horn in on the Al lred fo rt y-one winning polygamous empire. I guess that's why Gov. Mike Leavitt refused Allred's offer to help the state clean up these "polyga­ mous abusers" who are givin g "good" polygamists a bad name. lo some ways the headlines and stories are familiar. Take away the

68 ;AJ.J LAKE owned KFNZ 1320-AM, were critical of Winslet. Towne's owner, Carol Allred, dates and delete the names from the \Ialone for missing shots and passing them expressed disappointment at the studio's newspaper accounts and you wouldn't up during the fi nals. "Either they shake up decision to pull the print and insisted her know whether you were reading about that situation at KFA N with the two experts booking agent had told her the studio they've got on that or they've got to do wouldn't object to editing a few scenes from Joseph Smith or , Brigham \Omething with me;· Malone groused. the film. A Paramount spokesman respond­ Young or , Parley ed, "We never authorize anybody to edit a Pratt or Owen Allred. The same charges, What's that squeaking noise? After picture." Earlier in the year, Towne had edit­ losing most of the races in the 1998 elections ed Helen Hunt's brief nude scene from As the same crimes, the same moral outrage, by lopsided margins, Utah Democrats, who Good As It Gets. the same justifications seem timeless gai ned three seats in the state Legislature, reminders that the past and the present proclaimed their resurgence. "It served All outtakes were ordered sent to the notice that Democrats are here," said party Oval Office for review. Meanwhile, an are not so fa r removed; that the virtuous chairwoman Meghan Holbrook. " It mea ns American Fork video rental store was inun­ "good ole days" had their share of sin we're coming back. It's a slow process, but dated with customers willing to pay $5.00 to too. Moral critics charged Brigham we're defi nitely moving there." Republicans have the same two scenes snipped from their Young and his "roaring rams" with all control the state Senate 18-11 and the House home video copies of Titn11ic. In the first two by a margin of 54-21. weeks of offering the service, Sunrise Family sorts of sexual crimes-white slavery, Video received twenty-four hundred copies fornication, incest, child abuse, cohabita­ Millie Vanilla. Unable to attract a national of the video. Carol and Don Biesinger, own­ tion, adultery. Olinois senator and distributor, Sen. took a person­ ers of the store, believe they are at the fore­ al approach to plugging his four COs of reli­ front of a movement that might make block­ Democratic presidential hopeful Stephen gious, patriotic, and romantic songs­ buster movies more friend ly to families by A. Douglas railed against polygamy in ,lppearing at malls and on the Home removing offensive material from them. 1857, proclaiming that "to protect [the <;hopping Network. ''I'm sick and tired of Attorneys for Paramount Pictu res asked p~op l e ignoring talented Utahn s," Hatch Biesinger to halt the practice, but so fa r have Mormons] further in their treasonable, told Tire Snit Lake Tribu11e. "That prejudice is not taken legal action. disgusting and bestial practices would be there, but I'm going to break through that:' a disgrace to the country, a disgrace to \ t least one Salt Lake shopper was unim­ But how do you capture the human pressed with Hatch's pre-Valentine's Day form through all that gingham and humanity, a disgrace to civilization, and a appearance at South Towne Mall. "It's a little polyester? A group of Springville resi­ disgrace to the spirit of the age." This cheesy for a U.S. senator to be hawking dents were opposed to the use of nude mod- "disgusting cancer" must be cut out, records in the mall;' he Douglas argued, and "seared over the sniffed. red-hot iron of stern and unflinching Second-hand News law." The Snit Lake Observer, a Ann Eliza Webb Young laid the insti­ fo rtnighlly alternative newspaper, debuted in tution bare in her "Starr-esque" report, ju ne, targeting "a well­ Wife Number 19; or, The Story ofa Life educated and upscale in Bondage, Being a Complete Expose of audience of thirty thou­ sand readers with "smart, , Revealing the Sorrows, local news." The paper Sacrifices and Sufferings of Women in specializes in charging Polygamy ( 1876). Mark Twain was "fever­ $1.00 for information available elsewhere in a ish to plunge headlong and achieve a more ti mely, interesting, great reform" in Utah by "calling the and beller-written fash­ attention of the nation at large once ion. more" to polygamy, but chose instead to skewer the institution publicly with els in classes at the humor. Art Shop. "There's Proponents of the "peculiar institu­ no excuse for nude SMU,.! models," one com­ tion,"chief among them Orson Pratt mented. "We should argued its divine ordination, its univer­ hold ourselves to a high­ Is that what they mean when they say sality, its virtues. Polygamy would raise er standard." Others were "going down on the Titanic?" Towne concerned that the art up a large and righteous generation; Cinema in American Fork earned the ire of classes were held in a monogamy was unnatural among the Paramount Studios for its practice of editing public building. The Art In an attempt to attract family audi­ world's cultures; polygamy would protect Titn11ic. Shop is owned by the ences, the theater edited out a back-seat love Nebo School District female virtue by obviating the need for scene and a scene in which teen heartthrob and leased to the Arts prostitution. Young recounted how diffi- Leonardo DiCaprio sketches a topless Kate

JANUARY/FEBRUARY 1999 87 cult he found the revelation initially: "I Commi~sio n of was not desirous of shrinking from any Springville, which is under city juris­ duty, nor of failing in the lack to do as I diction. However, was commanded, but it was the first after aU but one of time in my life that I desired the grave, thirty speakers at an August public hearing and I could hardly get over it for a long expressed their support for the classes, time." But he did. tlle practice was allowed to continue. So what is it-sin or virtue? The problem is that Utahns really aren't sure. While polygamy is condemned as crime or sin today, Mormons interpret it as WRATH! virtue yesterday. So are we supposed to look to our past for those moral stan­ dards and "family values" the governor, Yield ing the floor to the pottymouth state Republicans, Gayle Ruzicka, and from Uta h. O nly days after unleashing a torrent of profanity in Republican Party LOS church apostles keep talking about? headquarters, Congressman Polygamy? Divorce? Cohabitation? The forced two of his top staffers to quit. O n breakup of the nuclear family, single­ October 30, a few days before tlle election, Cook, upset about not being mentioned in a parent households, and financial insecu­ get-out-the-vote telephone message promot­ cheek," many weren't amused. "This is rity? himself had at least ing Sen. Bob Bennell, reportedly said, "F--k shameful and it's nonsensical," said Utah nine divorces, and late-nineteenth-cen­ the Republican Party," and "F--k Sen. Democratic Party Chairwoman Meghan tury Mormon divorce rates have been Benneu ." I Ii ~ outburst cost him a week-long Holbrook. Steve Berthold, Secret Service banishment from GOP headquarters. Cook's senior special agent, sa id , "Do we ta ke things estimated at 0.9o/o (9/ 1,000) for aides attributed his tantrum to pre-election like that seriously? We absolutely do." monogamists and 2.5o/o (25/l,OOO) for stress, but after his victory, he forced out his polygam ists, both well above the O.l o/o two top staffers, District Director Robert Gee, Mrs. Cleaver! The Beav's sure jeppsen and Chief of Staff janet jen on. getting pe rs nic ke ty! Some members of (1/1 ,000) national average. Men in hid­ Jeppsen, who described Cook as depressed, the Republican pa rt y'~ far-right wing were ing, women on tJ1e run, children caught said, "At this point, I'm thinking the guy has infu riated aft er Gov. Mike Leavitt weighed in in the legal crossfire. Are these the "fam­ got a hand grenade in his moutll and he's with a series of radio ads, generic get-out­ going to pull the pi n." the-vote phone calls and phone banks sup­ ily values" we're pining for or condemn­ porting moderate candidates for the state ing? Were these "good ole days" so good Maybe Barney Fife wo uld e ntrus t him Republican primary. Twelve of the sixteen after all? w ith his bullet. In the candidates endorsed by tlle ult raconservative I must confess, the situation seems wake of a shooting at Utah Republican Assembly lost their bids, the Capitol that left and many were angry. One of the losers, state to have confused the neat backward two offi cers dead, House candidate janalee Tobias, told I11 e vision of those who mourn the loss of a Rep. jim Hansen Tribune: "The governor steps in with more moral historical past, written like a told the l ogan his little fi nger and squashes me. Lion's Club "I wouldn't The governor is abusing his title book of virtues to be thumbed through mlnd having a .357 in my and his power of offi ce." But at bedtime. We seem to be working at desk. It amazes me how many Leavitt defended the action, say­ cross-purposes with our most cherished things we take for gramed in ing, "The people I supported America, [sucl1 asJ peace and represented rational, clear­ rhetorical lament that change equals safety." Hansen also described thinking policies." declension, decline, decay. God is Washington, D.C. as "a zoo." unchanging, yet modern revelation With frie nds like he r, who He y Ba rne y c ould yo u s p eed offers the possibility of continuous needs e nema s? After losing to it up? A Cedar City radio station Democrat Jackie Biskupski, Utah's first change. God ordained polygamy then reported that Rep. ! Jansen joked publicly openly gay legislator, Republican Brya n rescinded it, not by revelation but by abo ut people wanting President Clinton Irving said efforts on his behalf by Gayle manifesto, Woodruff's advice if you will. "impeached, resigned, or assassinated." In a Ruzicka and the ultraconservative Eagle subsequent Salt Lake Tribune interview, Forum helped cost him the race. Irving said No wonder Utahns are confused. Hansen said, "This guy called me at tlle Ruzicka never pa id him the courtesy of a It's clear that Gov. Leavitt is con­ cabin"-Hansen's Fa rmington campaign phone call, but did raise 3,000 to pay for a fused. The great-great-grandson of a h ead qu a r t ers-"~o m e old gentleman, and he bomophobic fli er mailed to six thousand res­ was all bent out of shape" and suggested idents in the district. "With people like Gayle polygamist, Leavitt was caught speaking assassinating Clinton. Although Hansen Ruzicka involved, it almost makes me wa nt his mind, praising polygamists and sug- characterized the remarks as "tongue in to be a Democrat," Irvi ng told The Tribune. " I

68 IllT LAKE dnn't think I would have won. But she cost house to mobile beer cans, c11 mg the gesting their practices were protected me.> ,1boutten points. Somehow the party has course's proximity to nearby parks, schools, religious freedoms. Informed that the got to get a leash on her." and churches. A petition drive against the license produced more than twelve hundred state Constitution he has sworn to ... oh, a nd a pony. A student at Provo's signatures in three weeks. Scott I lowell, an uphold forbids polygamy, Leavitt has had ( entennial Middle School was suspended organizer of the drive, was pleased with the to admit he was shooting from the cul­ tor three days after voicing his wishes that outcome: "The people have probably spoken tural hip, letting his desires get ahead of ·gay men be crucified on Mai n Street and more clearly than at any time in the history b bians be burned at t.he stake." The thir­ of Draper. Give us another three weeks, I'm his knowledge. I'm not surprised. We t~en-year- o l d boy was participating in an certain we could have doubled or tripled once had a governor who envisioned annual ritual in which students express their that." Less than two weeks later, the course polygamy and now we have one who w i ~hes for the fu ture. was granted a clubhouse-only license to serve liquor. envisions virtual educations based on Can non misfires. ln an apparent attempt "competencies." Perhaps a real education to appease ultraconservatives in Utah In heaven the re is no b eer. A nineteen­ in a real Utah history class in a real uni­ County, Rep. told The Tribune year-old BYU student initiated a petition he favo red im peaching both President Bill drive condemning the $50 million sponsor­ versity with a real professor is needed by Clinton and Vice President AI Gore. Cannon ship of the 2002 Winter Games by the governor as he tries to establish his believed such a move might repair the Anheuser-Busch, the largest beer producer "competencies." It certainly would be 'moral vacuum" threatening to severely in the world. "We realize the chances of them d1eaper and save us all a lot of grief. tlamage the country in the wake of the repealing the agreement is unlikely," the stu­ \ 1onica Lewinsky scandal. "I don't know if dent told Tlte Tribune, "but there are a lot of Unfortunately, Leavitt isn't alone. it's an idea that will go anywhere, but it's an people who think the sponsor hip is wrong." Take, for example, our state legislature 1tlea that has legs. What I'm saying is fairly Shelley Thomas, spokeswoman fo r SLOC ducking enforcement issues, and Gayle well thought out." State Democratic Director replied that the sponsorship was already a !odd Taylor characterized Cannon's sugges­ done deal. "The company is aware of sensi­ Ruzicka and the Eagle Forum, unable to tions as "odd" and "implausible." tivities in our community to beer sponsor­ specifically denounce the institution shi p and will act accordingly," she sa id. from which so many of its members r':lti, ,.., r;. 6' Now c ut that o ut. After informally edit­ proudly hail (either genealogically or ing sex, profanity, and graphic violence out immediately). Then there is Sen. Orrin of Hollywood movies for years, BYU opted Hatch. While he couldn't fully condemn to stop showing R- and PG-13-rated fil ms in merriment! the practice, his speculation that a future its Varsity Theater after the school was unable to obtain formal permission to con­ Supreme Court might reinterpret the tinue the practice from the studios. "I'm dis­ I'm Mandy and we'll be your servers. Constitution to protect polygamy as reli­ appointed," one student commented. "It In marked contrast to the rest of the year's gious freedom has some real merit, espe­ mea ns either missing good movies or ha nd-wringing, Utah's first Hooters restau­ putting up with all the cussing" at an off­ cially if Hatch is ever named to the court. rant opened in Midvale with almost no pub­ ca mpus theater. Unfortunately, Utahns would have lic contention. to accept the fact that first, the Don't drink and drive. The Draper City Constitution is an interpreted framework Council unanimously rejected for government rather than a static edi­ South Mountain Golf Club's request to fice, and second, that this fu tu re Hatch extend its beer suggests actually might be better than the license from the past or present and that we're not going cl ub- to hell in that handbasket so fast. Goodbye, Ruby That daydrea m aside, imagine Tuesd ay. The North Logan another: announcing that City Council rejected a proposal to allow a liquor-serving Ruby Tuesday's Monica Lewinsky was his divinely restaurant to open in the town. "Our deci­ ordained plural wife. Now picture Hatch. sion reflects the community and its val­ lnstead of saying, "Wasn't that pathetic? ues," North Loga n Mayor jack Draxler said. "There is a very solid majority I'm offended by that. Boy, I'll tell you, of our community that feel what a jerk:' Hatch would have to say, we don't need a restau- "My bottom line is that polygamy is rant that has a liquor license. We don't feel against the law. It is against the beliefs of we must apologize my church and I agree that it is wrong. I for the community's wish nobody would practice plural mar­ values." Currentl y, riage but I don't condemn those that the only liquor license in town is a co nvenience store. Eskelsen said she was "personall y outraged" practice it." Wow, wake me up! by the president's behavior and called on It's interesting that it has taken Whooo is it? It's the Baptists. We've him to resign. come to save your soul. Tens of thou­ LDS President Gordon B. Hinckley and sands of Southern Baptists descended on Maybe they should have ordered Larry King (himself a virtual polyga­ Salt Lake in june, conducting door-to-door another of those nice covered­ mist with seven marriages under his evangelical campa igns, block parties near wagon paintings. A two-story, $80,000 belt) to clarify the situation for the Baptist churches, and sports clinics in which mural installed in the Supreme Court room Christian athletes shared their experiences. of the new Scott M. Matheson Courthouse world. Even then, Hinckley's interpreta­ The denominat ion's "Crossover Salt Lake inspired controversy when the majority of tion of the Woodruff Manifesto as "rev­ Ci ty" project resulted in more than twenty­ Utah's Supreme Court justices criticized the elation" isn't unanimously shared by fi ve hundred "professions of fa ith." choice of art. Noted Utah artist Doug Snow's painting, titled "Capitol Reef," was intended church members or Mormon scholars. With this Teletubby, I thee wed. After to depict confl ict and resolution. But it So I guess, even at the highest levels, seeing a number of cases in which young sparked unexpected conflict when three of revelation-like history and sin itself­ girls were marrying men old enough to be the fi ve justices issued a statement that read: their grandfathers, Salt Lake County Clerk "Whi.le we recognize the talent and reputa­ is all about temporal interpretation; Sherrie Swenson asked the state Legislature tion of the artist, it is our opinion that the that on some level it is relative to the to raise the minimum marriage age in Utah painti ng is not appropriate for a backdrop to time, place, and people; that as Jean from fo urteen to sixteen, but the bill failed the bench in the courtroom. It is not meant Poullon pointed out, "Plus c'es Ia meme by a single vote. Senators worried that it to be an art gallery." The issue was further might encourage teen-age girls who get complicated when an unscientific poll chose, plus ca change"- the more pregnant to seek abort ions or resort to revealed that 65o/o of visitors approved of the things stay the same, the more they cohabitation. "A lot of us felt it took away work and found it appropriate in the court­ change. freedoms," Sen. Robert Montgomery, R­ room. Ogden, told The Tribuue. " It took away a There always have been and will be basic right for young people to have fam i­ Are watermelon and lettuce two of moral critics pointing out society's lies." In 1997, nea rly one thousand teen­ the food groups? Christopher and decline and sin. It just happens that agers between the ages of fourteen and sev­ Kyndra Fin k led authorities on a multi-state enteen were married in Utah, and more than chase after taking their twenty-one-month­ right now they're massing in the rari­ a third of the gi rls married men at least four old son from Primary Children's Medical fied air of Utah County, covering Rodin years their senior. Center. Authorities contend that the couple busts and excising Titanic bosoms, had restricted their son's diet to select fruits Let he who is without sin throw out keeping abreast of lesbians in the public and vegetables as a condition of their reli­ the first ball. In order to accommodate gious beliefs. The child, David Fink, was far schools and busting video shops, beat­ Mormon church-related famil y activities, underweight for his age when relatives ing their chests to get the Starr Report Centerville Mayor Frank Hi rschi wanted to admitted him to the hospitaL just online (but not reading it) and giving put the brakes on baseball and other sporlS hours before he was to be placed in on Monday nights at public parks. "As a foster home, the Finks allegedly President Clinton the booby pri~ all Latter-day Saints, probably all of us would snatched David and Oed. They in the name of protecting the public follow the admonition of our prophet's dec­ were captured sixteen days later morality. Sounds rather fixated. laration that Monday evenings should be in . Both David and kept free for fa mily home evenings," the his infant brother, Elijah, were What's to be learned from all this? mayor, who is retired from the LOS educa­ placed in foster homes. Polygamy in the nineteenth century is tion system, wrote on city letterhead to a really no different than today- just a non-LOS baseball league offi cial. Hirschi told "There's no issue-no different majority deciding on a differ­ The Tribune, issue at all. We're discussing ways to improve ent morality and interpretation of our programs. There's no issue, there's no God's will. Change is inevitable, not entanglement Io f church and government]." evil, while unexamined virtue itself But a Salt Lake City civil rights attorney countered, "The poor mayor seems to have leads to real evil- ignorance over blinders on. He doesn't seem to see that understanding. Sin is better pointed out there are other people in the community, in someone else than recognized up people who do not have to have an LOS belief forced upon them by government." llih~UJI That llias [los~ I close and personal- it makes it easier WE CAME PERI L OUSLY CLOS E to cast that first stone. On some level, He never writes! He never calls! In the TO PRESENTING TH E we all want to believe in something, to wake of the developing Monica Lewinsky W ASATCH FAULTS W ITHOUT scandal, many Utah Democrats rushed to ignore the inherent contradictions in MENTION OF SALT LAKE C tTY d istance themselves from President Bill those beliefs, to be reassured by simple Clinton. "I'm disgusted, hurt and embar­ MAYOR DEE D EE CORRADINI. answers. Sin should be an easy one, but rassed by these revelations," Salt Lake B UT THE FACT OF THE MAT­ County Democratic Party Chairman joe TER I S THAT S H E DID N O TH­ in the end it's all relative I guess, and Hatch told The Trib1111 e. And Second District ING N EWS W O RTH Y I N ALL O F kind of sad, not funny. SL Democratic congressional ca ndidate Lily 1998 .

70 SALT I...AAE