A Look Back at Utah's Seven Deadly (IF NOT Pretly DARNED EMBARRASSING) Sins of 1998
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• A look back at Utah's Seven Deadly (IF NOT PRETlY DARNED EMBARRASSING) Sins of 1998 I I . I . i \ \ \ \ \ ~ .. • AN ESSAY BY DAV I D R I C H LEWIS Saints and Sinners: For a split second, they thought it was a reenactment of the plague of UTAH'S PAST AND PRESENT locusts. Mistakenly believing it was flying over a sporting event, a flig ht service towing a St. George radio station's banner acciden tally buzzed the dedication of the Memorial Encampment at Dixie College. The station later issued a printed apology, explaining in is a funny thing-not funny virtue and the changes we are experienc that it was a "strong supporter of the culture "ha, ha:• but funny relative. As a ing." He observes that "most people walk and heritage of Southern Utah." historian, I'm fascinated by each backward into change:• and that those Runs with scissors. Doesn't play well generation's public search for sin. "who place the locus of the 'virtuous life' w ith others. Tooele School Its inevitable discovery leads peo somewhere in the past are constantly Superintendent james W. Buckley resigned looking back towards it, instead of watch in August after a series of run-ins with the ple to bemoan the declining state of near law. He pleaded no contest i.n April to a mis ly everything and to prophesy imminent ing out for what is coming." Unable to demeanor charge of telephone harassment. crisis. Each generation looks at the next dearly see or grapple with change, their \ ccording to a Cedar City police report, causative explanations stumble into the Buckley was accused of "breathing heavily and sees the world going to hell. The and moaning and groaning in a sexual past- their past, or the past their parents realm of judgements based on moral dis nature" on a night last March when he made told them about, or the past they imagine gust with their own humanity and several telephone calls to a woman who had their ancestors lived- is somehow always modernity. Sin is the present, virtue the been a fa mily friend in Cedar City. Buckley, past. who made the calls while on a business trip more moral, right, just, and "traditional" to Cedar City, said he called repeatedly than the present they inhabit or the Utah is a particularly interesting because he wanted to talk to the woman, but future they fear. The phenomenon is easi case study because sin has been a Utah "chickened out." Several months later, he constant, despite what the pundits, politi was arrested for having an open beer in his ly observable in the writings of Cicero, pickup truck when police pulled him over Virgil, and Horace; in Livy's History of cians, and preachers say. In fact, sin used Rome and Plato's Republic; in the millen to be a lot more fun and acceptable in the nialism of the MiddJe Ages and the con past than it is now. Take, for example, fusion of the Reformation; in Rousseau's polygamy. Confessions and Henry Adam's Yes, indeed, the old "twin relic of Education; in Joseph Wood Krutch's barbarism" has reared its ugly head again lament of the Modern Temper, and in in the Beehive State, or more accurately, Bob Dole's 1996 presidential campaign. has attracted media attention because of It's observable in that phrase you just (I) the outrageous actions of some of its used on your own child or grandchild: "I estimated twenty to forty thousand prac remember when . .. the good ole days ... titioners and (2) our puerile yet puritani standards back then . .. but today's youth cal preoccupation with sex, in public and ... no sense of tradition . disrespect . private lives. We've got polygamists in goin' to hell in a handbasket!" We idealize Bountiful, Draper, and central Utah the past and define what we see today as building giant homes, complexes for their evidence of an increase in evil and the domestic multitudes. We had Alex wages of sin because it's easier than fac Joseph, that "proud heretic," who died ing our fears of the future and of change. recently. From his " Kingdom of God" in My friend and colleague Norm Jones Big Water, surrounded by seven wives, he teaches the history of Christianity. He denounced a world that tolerated adul points out that "we often confuse change tery but hounded him for his conjugal with evil, that our fears are often created solution. There are the polygamous com \ by the friction between our system of munities of Hildale, Utah and Colorado JANUARYIFEBfUARY 1999 86 City, Arizona where members of the for having expired license plates. entries had been plagiarized. "It's a tragedy," Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ said Geraldine Felt , a member of the Utah Maybe the judge sho uld s wat him on State Poetry Society and director of the orga of Latter-day Saints resist both federal the nose with a rolle d -up newspa per. nization's student contest. "I don't know and Mormon church control, yet dip A Kaysville teenager who told parents and what to do. We try hard" to catch im itations deeply into the welfare system. And who investigators that he was attacked by a dog and plagiarisms. "If anyone has any sugges while jogging later admitted he made up the tions, I'd love to hear them." can forget Jim Harmston and his True story and confessed he was bit by a neigh and Living Church of Jesus Christ of bor's golden retriever after he jumped over a Saints of the Last Days in Manti? He has fe nce and tried to quiet the dog's barking. The fifteen-year-old boy received more than reportedly called Mormons "morons" one hundred stitches on his face and arm. He and acknowledged that one of his wives was referred to the county attorney for pos (a sixteen-year-old) was not a good sible charges of criminal trespass and filing a lover, but "she's the most cuddling little false police report. thing you ever saw in all your life." His time w ould ha ve been better And then there are the descendants r'ft'n r r(. 0 ,! s pe nt working on tha t free throw. In and followers of John Ortdl Kingston, july, Karl Malone teamed with Diamond sitting on a $150 million polygamous Dallas Page aga inst Hollywood Hogan and Thievery! Chicago Bulls fo rward Dennis Rodman in empire in Box Elder County. The World Championship Wrestling's "Bash at Kingstoos are accused of a host of sins the Beach." The spectacle ea rned the including arranged polygan1ous mar Mailman a $900,000 paycheck, even though riages, incest, and child abuse. (hie) Ha s anybody seen my car? (hie) he and Page lost the match when their oppo I t hink it has a bunch of lights a nd a nents cheated. Many jazz fan s apparently felt Revelations about the belt-whipping of a la dde r on it. A woman who took a cheated as well when their favorite power minor girl for refusing to marry her $350,000, rwo-ton fi re truck out on a 2:30 forward entered the cartoon-like world of polygamous uncle started things, but a.m. spin faced up to five years in prison after pro wrestli ng. "At least Malone outper pleading guilty to joy ridi ng with the intent formed Rodman tonight," one audience stories about fifteen-year-old Andrea to temporarily deprive the owner, a third- member philosophized. "But maybe Ka rl Johnson broke the camel's back. Married degree felony. According to a should stick to basketball." to her half-brother, she died shortly after Salt Lake City police Did s ome one m e ntio n som e thing delivering their son. The son, now six report, officers w e r e a bout a free t hrow? Two radio broad years old and suffering from cerebral respo nd ing casters who criticized Malone's performance palsy, is being raised by his father who to a domes during the NBA Fi nals earned the Mailman's has since married his own niece. It's a tic violence ire following the Jazz's loss to the Chicago call when the Bulls. David Locke and dose family, and the state isn't prepared woman approached Tom Nissalke, to do anything about it. Even Owen saying he was intoxicated and requested both broad- Allred, eighty-four-year-old polygamous help locating her car. After agreeing to wait casters on l1'll.ITde rn.rrtJie rassle for a cab, she tried to drive away in the fire the jazz- rn.rrtJie Q-W:Je rrunble leader of the Apostolic United Brethren mumble chidren mumble respect truck. The woman, whose ride was cut short rrunble rrunble rassJe mumble in Bluffdale, is trying to di.stance himself when an officer jumped onto the truck and Q-W:Je rn.rrtJie chilcten from them, fearful of the public back ordered her to stop, said she tried to take the ll1lX11ble respect lash: "Just because we believe in the truck because she thought the emergency workers were laughing at her. teachings of Joseph Smith doesn't make us like the Kingstons." No, it doesn't, but The giveaw ay was that no line then Allred is still trying to regroup e nde d with "Na ntuc ke t." Organizers of an annual competition from a 1977 bloodbath when Ervil for young poets realized after awards LeBaron and his Church of the Lamb of had been handed out that two of the God tried to horn in on the Al lred fo rt y-one winning polygamous empire.