Edinburgh University HillWalking Club 2015 - 2016 2 Contents
4-6 Meet the Committee 7 President’s Note 8-9 A Note for the Social Secretaries 10-14 Torridon 15-16 Arrochar 17-18 Crainlarich 19-21 Kinlockleven Freshers Weekend 22-23 Glencoe Freshers Weekend 24-25 Glencoe Halloween 26-29 SMART Weekend 30-31 November Daytrip 32-33 November Daytrip 34-36 Ullapool 37-38 Firbush Navigation course 39-42 Hawkshead Christmas Trip 43-45 Loch Tay Daytrip 46-47 Winter Skills Daytrip 48-49 Winter Skills Daytrip 50-53 Loch Lochy Burns Weekend 54-56 Toast to the Lassies 57-60 Lassies Reply 61 Firbush Winter Skills 62-66 Ratagan 67-68 February Daytrip 69-71 February Daytrip 72-73 Cannich 74-75 Newtonmore/Leggan 76-80 Gairloch Easter Trip 81-83 Invergarry 84 Photo Competition 85 End of year Awards
Note for the Editor
ENJOY! Much Love Becky 3 Meet the Committee
President Lucy Nunn
Likes: Gingers, and mulled wine Dislikes: Organising walks
Secretary Stuart North
Likes: Big boobs and Rap music Dislikes: Speaking
Treasurer Edward Tissiman
Likes: When people ‘like’ his photos on Facebook, showing off his knowledge of mountains and wildlife, and several showers per day. Dislikes: Responding to messages quickly... he’ll get round to it in about 2 weeks time.
Vice president and Alumni Officer Simon Coffey
Likes: Extreme routes (off cliffs), and when things go effortlessly to plan. Dislikes: Getting stuff done and things that involve effort 4 Meets Secretary Callum Girdwood
Likes: All things sugary and sweet, especially Jelly Babies Dislikes: Kayaks
Training, Safety and Development Officer Owain Simpson
Likes: Brightly coloured/retro clothes and puppies Dislikes: Bad hair days
Publicity and Yearbook Officer Rebecca Meacham
Likes: Being head chef on trips, and hostels that provide paper and crayons. Dislikes: Inadequate kitchen facilities and tense social situations
Gear Secretary Daniel Jenkins
Likes: Being grumpy Dislikes: Spicy food... even when it’s not spicy
5 Webmaster Griffin Ernest
Likes: Climbing backwards, going on every trip of the year, and playing cards. Dislikes: Playing cards by the rules
Social Secretary Steph Ward
Likes: Fair weather walking and cute mountainside village cafés. Dislikes: When Simon climbs stuff or does something dangerous...which is quite often
Social Secretary Sion Ford
Likes: Weird topics of conversation and big nights out that end in Hive! Dislikes: Driving in cities
Random Bod Monika O’Shea
Likes: Epic walks with ‘additional’ munros added on the end. Dislikes: Faffs
Random Bod Donald Anderson
Likes: Whisky, and lots of it! Dislikes: ...... Nope can’t think of anything, he’s just such a happy, unassuming chap! 6 A Note from the President
When I came to Edinburgh in 2011, I turned up to the sports fair like a good little fresher and came across a stall covered in axes, these spiky shoe things and a huge pinboard of photos of mountains and snow. I was a scout and, until this moment, I thought that I was quite an experienced walker, then seeing these photos I realised just how small the Yorkshire Dales are and that I had absolutely no clue whatsoever.
Some dodgy looking bloke then popped out of nowhere, wild blonde hair, a posh accent and went by the name of Mead? Weird chap, but he managed to convince me to head along to Arthurs Seat that Sunday, and it was probably the best decision I have ever made.
This club is one of a kind. It has taken me all over Scotland (and I guess a bit of England too…), to Torridon, Assynt, Tongue and so many more. This club has taught me so much, from winter walking, and scrambling, to teamwork and just to understand the value of the Outdoors. This club has given me life-long friendships, all Jazzy and Lumpy and Grumpy, and so many adventures. This club has given me some of the happiest moments of my life, during times in my life when I was at my very lowest. This club has given me support and a reason and a passion and I will be forever grateful for it. It has been an honour to be the EUHWC President and I am so happy with how it has grown and changed over the past 5 years.
With every year there’s a new committee, new members and new ideas to try out. The trips, the socials, the ways in which we attempt to keep track of gear, the pub all change constantly. Every year the club is so lucky to have such committed members trying to improve how we run, or how things work, but the one thing members of this club do very well and with little effort is be welcoming to everyone, friendly and really make this club what it is.
This year we’ve survived all the storms and floods thrown at us, we’ve had some truly stunning views and grueling walks and, however the day went, there has always been a great atmosphere in the hostel to go back to.
I owe so much to this club and am so sad to leave, so please look after it! I really hope the EUHWC can mean this much for you too.
Lucy Nunn, EUHWC President 2015-2016 7 A Note from the Social Secretaries
This year’s socials have been great because of the nature of our club, we stick together through good and bad. It’s this attitude that builds the club. We start the year with an influx new people but we end it with many new friends. Friends that we can’t wait to see again next year or will never forget, even if only due to their immortalization in tea towel form. We’ve had a laugh together dressing up as mythical beasts around town on this year’s pub crawl, with SiÔnyn hovering like a concerned parent “Owain get down from there!”.
Our Ceilidhs were a success yet again this year with no serious breaks reported, although plenty of bruises were acquired in Strip the Willow. We had one of the best ceilidh bands we have had as a club, Stravaig, t hanks to Steph’s searching.
8 “What’s the worst STD... pregnancy?” – Semos
Movie nights have been well attended despite groans of “God not more Disney” when faced with watching Brave. Although I’m fairly sure there were a few teary eyes afterwards from the groaners. When watching a film with Welsh actors subtitles were required to understand their accents much to SiÔnyn’s disbelief.
Christmas meal at 56 North was top notch with everyone suitably Merry, some more than others with Steph vomiting before the second course. Tanjore were great hosts again for the end of year meal with tasty curry.
It has been a good year to be a social sec, we’ve loved doing it because we get to spend the time with you lot, even if it’s come at the expense of our livers.
Lots of Love
Steph & SiÔnyn xx
9 Torridon End-of-Year Trip
We start the yearbook by stepping back in time to EUHWCs end- of-year trip 2015 to the magnificent mountainous wilderness that is Torridon.
Now I only decided to write this entry the day before getting the yearbook printed, almost a year after the trip! As my fellow hillwalkers would agree, I am notoriously bad at remembering the various walks and hills encountered during a trip and, true to form, this is indeed proving difficult to recall. Nevertheless, like a true Art student, I will use all my creativity and a substantial amount of imagination to write this entry. Thankfully I had my trusty hillwalking buddy to remind me of some of the events of the weekend, and so I can begin...
We begin with a long drive to a top secret highly celebrated hillwalking location that is neither the west coast nor the north coast of Scotland, but somewhere ambiguously in between, the journey made bearable by playing ‘Down the Road’ by C2C repeatedly.
We finally arrive at a large hostel surrounded by stunning mountain views...although we could not see them at that time of night. The buses are off-loaded, each of us carrying enough tea, milk and alcohol to quench the thirst of an entire army, I sign up to a walk of some description, and then shuffle off to bed thankful that the longer days allowed for a slightly later start than usual in the morning.
10 Saturday morning the hillwalkers awaken bleary eyed, but eager to tackle some mountains. I set off, along with Gregor, Lucy, Callum, Gier, and Tonje, to climb what is apparently a very famous hill: one with ridges so narrow, and rock-faces so sheer, that no one could ever forget climbing it...except, of course, for me whom on a subsequent trip was informed by several exasperated fellow members that the name of this very famous hill is Liathach. Anyway, up we go a very steep ascent, fuelled by vast quantities of jelly babies along the way. Two groups planned to do this hill; the others starting the walk half an hour later so as to leave adequate room between us. Obviously this didn’t work and, led by the machine that is Stuart North, the second group were soon on our tails. Our progress wasn’t helped of course by a group of middle-aged men who kept getting in the way, which very much angered Lucy.
Stuart’s group stop for lunch, allowing us to once again widen the gap by continuing along the ever narrowing ridge. We reach the point at which a humungous beast of a rock blocks the route ahead, waiting patiently for all those who dare try to pass. There are three options here, each as perilous as the other: The first, scale the full height of the massive boulder which requires a substantial amount of climbing skills and brute strength; the second option is to shuffle around the side with only your toes in contact with a thin ledge and a vertical drop bellow; the third option would be turn back the way you came and face the smug faces of the other group. Obviously the third option is just too horrible to even consider, so it’s a toss-up between the other two. I go for the second, edging around the ledge, along with Tonje and Lucy. The boys head over the top. We make it safely to the other side. We continue.
Further along the ridge the cloud descends and we are all of a sudden engulfed in greyness and no longer able to see our destination at the far end of the ridge. Eventually, after a short climb in the upwards direction, we reach the top complete with a cairn and a large wind shelter. Without needing to consult the map, (who needs a map with a group full of Walk Organisers?) we conclude that this is indeed the summit, have lunch, take all the necessary photos, briefly discuss Gregor’s excessive use of swear words, and then set off on our descent from the mountain. 11 12 The descent was challenging, steep for hundreds of metres and no sign of a defined path down. We skidded, hopped and tumbled down the loose stones that covered the slopes feeling increasingly doubtful. Is this the right way? Nobody knew... or everybody assumed everyone else knew. After about 200m of descent, the voice of reason (that I can’t put a name to, but was most likely Lucy) announces that we had not actually reached the summit. GOD DAMN! And so with much grumbling and a dictionary’s worth of swearing (particularly on Gregor’s part) we turn on our heels and head back up the way we came. Once back at the false summit, the cloud cleared and sure enough there was still another few hundred metres to go along the ridge to the real summit.
Now, I can’t remember if Stuart’s group had beaten us to the summit due to our error, but if he had, I’m sure the raised eyebrows and smug grin that stretch across his face would have been so unbearable that it is perhaps the reason why I blocked this walk from my memory. Once the summit is finally bagged, we head back down the mountain, this time down a more defined path through the loose rocks. Despite our blunder, we make it back to the hostel in good time to grab a shower, drink my own body weight in cups of tea, and help with the preparations for dinner.
The other groups arrive back at the hostel in dribs and drabs. The usual post-walk conversations commence: ‘how was your day?’, ‘which walk did you do again?’, ‘did you get all the munros done?’ As it happens, Monika, Edward, Arnaud, and Simon who attempted the three Munros south of the Torridon, didn't get the last Munro because the boys were lazy. Typical Monika, determined to do three summits of some sort, dragged them up the Beinn Eighe geology mountain trail instead, which turned out to be the same distance and elevation gain as adding the third!
Other walks included Daniel, Justin, John Mann and Imogen’s walk up Beinn Eighe; Adam Williams, Anna and friends went up Beinn Alligin; Karl with having had his appendix out did the Corbett Meall a'Ghiubhais.
Later on in the evening our in-club Ukulele band commences some cheerful tunes accompanied by a round of singing, dinner is eaten, card games are played, and Arnaud delivers a vast buffet of chocolate. So much chocolate! 13 Then, a club favourite, sock wrestling. Building an arena of chairs and sofas, everyone gathers round as various Hillwalkers battle for the prize of a sweaty sock. The session concludes with an epic match between club sock wrestling champions Gregor and Simon. After a brutal battle that lasts almost half an hour or so, the wrestlers, covered in blood, sweat, many a carpet burn, and probs some tears, collapse to the ground exhausted... So who won? Well that depends who you ask.
The remainder of the evening is spent drinking lots and solving a puzzle that involved tying two Hillwalkers together with string. We go to bed at some point in the early hours of the morning.
Some of the above may have happened on the Sunday night though...
Now I would go into more detail here, but I am both bored of writing and running out of time before I need to go get the yearbook printed. And so in short:
On Sunday, myself, Monika, Simon, Steph, Stuart, Edward, Connor, and others do Moruisg ("very wet hill") in 3hr, indure some hail, and then go to Applecross via the Bealach na Ba. Tonje takes a group up Fionn Bhein. Also many faffs occurre. In the evening, Arnauh tops up the chocolate supply, and there is a rather emotional atmosphere looming as many of our much loved Hillwalkers would be moving on soon to places new. Some other stuff happens on Monday, including a huge Applecross + Beach faff and (then) President Alex Collins spent the entire weekend working on his laptop
And now I open the yearbook up to a new year of hillwalking shenanigans...
Rebecca Meacham
14 Arrochar Fresher’s Day Trip
You never forget your first time… Life is a buzzing cornucopia of new beginnings that ultimately shape and help us to grow. Remember moving to a different city or a new country? Remember telling someone you love them for the first time? And really, how could you forget your first trip to Hive?
Yet despite each of these seminal events, there is one moment that will alter the trajectory of your existence forever. A moment so transformative, so pioneering, so metamorphic, so influential you almost fail to recall your life before it. This moment was of course *dramatic pause* when you first joined EUHWC for a hillwalking trip.
For a lucky group, that day had finally arrived. That day was a Saturday in late September. Such a long time this group had been dreaming for the day to come. They had not been defeated by the battle of the fresher’s sign-up night queue. Nor deterred by the distractingly good looks of the committee. They had valiantly emerged victorious and claimed their rightful place against masses of fellow dreamers.
An early start heralded the gathering of these fresh faces. Nervous smiles were shared; sorting friend from foe. A chorus of “So, where are you from?”, “What do you study?” erupted from the crowd. Excitedly, the group scrambled onto the bus where the chorus of enthusiastic exchange soon faded into a silence of growing anticipation. For some this would be the day they bagged that first hailed Munro and for a few this could even be the first sighting of those bonnie braes. Which of the Arrochar Alps were to be conquered? Was it to be Ben Vane, Beinn Narnain, Ben Ime or even all three? Each peak so unique, each view so distinct and each walk so irreplaceable… or rather not. With visibility of a mediocre quality, the views would have to be conjured in the imagination and paths rather than peaks the visible memories of the day.
Yet never to be deterred the dashing new recruits intrepidly clambered and climbed. Munros were dutifully bagged and with deft navigation and unwavering spirit new friendships were built. Some brave souls even scrambled the Cobbler in rather slippery conditions but after a day in the clouds the whole group were rewarded to a beautiful sunset across Loch Long upon their decent into Arrochar.
You never forget your first time and ‘tis but only human to chase that next moment, that next view, that next peak… so, you must ask, when is the next hillwalking trip?
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this article do not reflect the views of the author, the club or anyone really, they are mostly, quite frankly, a bit of tosh.
Freyja Hedinsson
16 Crianlarich 27th Sep Fresher’s Day Trip
A crossroad town that is famous for linking both Edinburgh and Glasgow with the North West Highlands. Home to probably Scotland’s most expensive pizza in the Crianlarich Hotel and to the beautiful Munros that surround the town: Munros such as An Caisteal, Stob Binnein, Ben Challuim and Cruach Adrain.
On this day trip, despite our best efforts, we lost no freshers on the hills during Simon and I’s walk attempting Cruach Ardrain and Beinn Tulaichean: we tried our best to lose one or two but to no avail. When forced to cross a rickety looking bridge I did the sensible thing and let Simon try it first, then one by one the rest of us crossed. Then with a creak and a snap one of the group suddenly became three feet shorter as her leg s crashed through the bridge. Luckily she was tough as nails escaping without a scratch and with a mild limp shot up the hill.
17 Jim led the charge up Ben Challuim with Simos and Griffin in toe. Whilst walking up the hill much to the amazement of everyone, one of the groups’ shoes fell apart. In a valiant effort to recycle, the shoes had been picked out of a bin; although it’s probably best to hit a second hand shop instead. Impressively they made it back with fully functional feet and not bloody stumps.
This day of mild disasters was not done yet. All groups were due back at the pub, but one didn’t return. Luckily because mobile phones were invented and the weather was great this paragraph isn’t as exciting and fire camp worthy as it could have been. Steph had text everyone to let us know one person had hurt their ankle whilst walking down the mountain and so they needed picking up on the way home. Wasn’t that an exciting story about the missing group? ... Although I did later find out that the person had in fact broken their ankle and still having physio for it...
Swiftly moving on, Callum’s group walking up Ben More and Stob Binnein all just enjoyed the lovely weather and no one was injured, much to Callum’s delight.
Whilst an eventful day up in Crianlarich it was lovely weather and a great way to start a semester, seeing new faces some of whom stayed in the club to suffer through more trips.
Sionyn Ford
18 Kinlochleven Fresher’s Weekend
New members got a fantastic introduction to hillwalking with the Kinlochleven trip, a weekend of very un-Scottish blue skies and sunshine.
Once everyone had arrived at Blackwater Hostel, and the usual organisation and transport faff was done, we started the important business of walk sign-up. Everyone was raring to get out into the hills, with new members having to be talked out of doing the oversubscribed epic walks in the Mamores.
Against my better judgement me, Ben and Mairi set off on Saturday morning to follow Angus up Curved Ridge on Stob Dearg. Despite a minor detour early on (or Angus’s discovery of a brand new scrambling route, depending on who you talk to), the walk was excellent, with fantastic views over Rannoch Moor and some great scrambling. There’s not many places better than Glencoe in the Sunshine. 19 Tired from the long scramble, we then made our way along the ridge to the next summit. After a bit of arguing over the map (and consulting Google) we then discovered that this was not in fact the second Munro after all, and there was still another mountain to go. I’m sure any other hillwalkers who’ve been in a similar situation can emphasise with the broad range of emotions (mainly anger) felt at this time. However even this couldn’t dampen our spirits that much – the weather was just too good to complain.
We carried on along the ridge to bag the actual peak, before joining up with another group, and dropping back down to the road. There was even time for a pint at the Clachaig. This turned out to be a very quick visit however, as the draconian staff insisted everyone had ID, even if not actually drinking. Maybe they were just looking for an excuse to get rid of noisy students. In any case I managed to get a pint before we were chucked out, so I wasn’t too upset.
The food situation back at the hostel wasn’t quite as rosy however. Turns out chili-con-carne for 40 people needs quite large quantities, and what we have brought wasn’t enough. The cans of refried beans were also met with much scrutiny, especially from Ruth, whose verdict was “I’m not eating that dog shit.” It was decided to go get more palatable food, leaving the refried beans to their fate – an eternity spent in the darkest recesses of the gear room. 20
Ed then set off with a crack team of adventurers in search of sustenance. Fortunately vital supplies of kidney beans and strawberry flavour Angel Delight were obtained from the (presumably very bemused) Co-op. Once everyone was fed and happy, people either went down the road to the pub, or else settled in to play pool and cards.
Sunday brought even more good weather. Most people opted to stay around Glencoe, or else do some of the hills near Crianlarich before heading back to Edinburgh. I led a (very windy) walk up Ben Oss, before heading to Tydrum for a fish supper, a great round off to the weekend.
I think that the number of new members who have stuck around after this trip shows just how good an introduction to the club it was. I just hope it didn’t give everyone false expectations for the rest of the year!
Stuart North
21 Glencoe Fresher’s Weekend
Glencoe 2015. It was certainly a trip to remember, especially when it started with a never-ending queue for sign-up the previous Tuesday. Quickly enough I learned of the perils of being in Karl’s car, but the night was long and hopeful as the various cars and buses pulled into the hostel. Despite the enthusiastic walk plans, the first day’s weather proved less than perfect.
For more than most of the day there would be no such thing as a blue sky, much to the annoyance of all those who saw the photos of gloriously clear skies during the Kinlochleven trip of the previous weekend. So much so that for the entire walk up Meall a’ Bhùiridh, committee members simultaneously grumbled and rejoiced when even the tiniest patches of blue peeked through the clouds. Instead of blue skies, we saw snow in late October which pushed us inside for Saturday night dinner which proved to be a learning experience as 1) if vegetarian is the only option, then expect Monika to bring her own meat supply. 2) When cutting onions, wearing ski goggles are viable option. And 3) when converting a recipe to serve 40 instead of 4, the chilli powder content should not be increased by 10! Both versions of the chilli were three alarm spicy sending all of us for cream, water, and milk. There was not a difference between spicy and not spicy. 22 That Saturday night was full of seal impressions to get some of Karl’s Fisk, a card game no one knew how to play (or maybe the everyone was just me) and then everyone trying to solve the problem behind Lucy’s Japanese math puzzle consisting only of circles.
The walk plans on Sunday were similar with added faffs and the drive back to look forward to; but Sunday was Sunday and we all set out in the morning rocking out to Ed Sheeran – the party mix. It was Ben Ghlas and Ben Lawers on the roster and we were lucky enough to make it to the top of both regardless that the weather made it look like someone had used white out and photoshop to get rid of the surrounding scenery.
It was a great first trip to have and hillwalking could only get better.
Carmen Marcon
23 Glencoe Halloween trip!!!
With the first two fresher’s trips proving rather popular, we returned to Glencoe for a third week! Thirteen lucky members spent a dreich Halloween in the Independent Hostel Bunkhouse. With ample rain forecast and 10% chance of cloud free Munros, we pelted to the Clachaig straight after walk sign up.
True to form, Owain wasted no time making new members feel uncomfortable by being overly critical about “lack of volume” and reminiscing about the good old days.
On Saturday, under the low morning cloud, myself, Owain, Regina, Chloe and “that Dutch guy” headed down Glen Etive towards Ben Starav and Glas Behinn Mhor. There was a lot of bog trudging involved but we romped up both hills, both with some top quality cloud action. Views are overrated. We headed back to the Clachaig that night (why not) only to find it closing, On Halloween!! Nightmare. The cool kids wanted to find a party...
We found a party. It was weird.
24
The Ballachulish Horseshoe was Sunday’s objective. Amazingly the cloud lifted to reveal a gloriously sunny day – maybe the last before the snow? The misery of Saturday faded as we soaked up the sun. I know some didn’t believe it, but on its day the Scottish hills are a very special place.
Overall, a pretty successful trip with some new members having never been up a Munro before coming away with 4 firmly in the bag (not that it’s about that anyway).
P.S. A special mention to Imogen’s cake – we were not expecting your anonymous hospitality!
Adam Williams
25 A SMART Weekend
DISCLAIMER: This entry is about the SMART weekend – a training course at Glenmore Lodge designed to educate members from student hillwalking and mountaineering clubs about safety and good practice in the mountains. The idea is that those individuals on the course take what they learn back to their club and by spreading the knowledge incidents can be avoided. I was asked to write this yearbook entry many months after the trip and those of you who have had the misfortune of meeting me will know I can barely remember the names of the people I live with never mind a weekend jam packed with activity that happened half a year ago! As a result, I have reserved the right to use artistic license. Some of the following did though, almost certainly, possibly happen. It also doesn’t help that I’ve never seen a yearbook and really have no idea what is required. Nevertheless I proceed optimistically ignorant.
DAWN BREAKS over the Scottish capital and weary hillwalkers don their bags and trudge towards Bernard Terrace… eagerly anticipating a weekend of training in Glenmore Lodge. Griffin, Becky, Donald, Scary Holly, Driver Bitch and Daphne – all ready to go. After some awkward introductions (as a medical student I appreciate better than most that meeting a psychopath for the first time can be a stressful experience) we leave Edinburgh and head North… but this was by no means the start of our adventure. 26
LESS THAN ONE WEEK EARLIER in the nurturing womb of the Southerner my small-talk is brought to an abrupt halt: “Are you Driver Bitch?” In my one-pint drunken stupor I confirm. “Are you driving to Glenmore Lodge this weekend?” Again my mouth speaks for me – “I am”. “Can I have a lift?” Who is this lady? Is she safe? Is she even a Hillwalker? So many questions, most of which were answered. She was dubbed ‘Scary Holly’ for Holly was her name and scary she was. She speaks with a preternatural clarity. I am quite jealous. I arrange to pick her up – no further questions, no further drinks. She already has enough friends. I wish I knew the feeling…
IN THE CAR on the way up the trickling awkward conversation pathognomonic of new encounters bursts its banks with Becky’s superlative selection of songs. Each tune is more perfect than the last – her music taste like a hot shower after a cold walk or Justin Bieber’s latest masterpieces… universally tremendous. The mysteries of art and life are briefly contemplated in a conversation misplaced in time and space before we retreat to safer ground – finding out more about our families. For many, family is a safe subject. For some it is not. Around Scary Holly nothing is safe. After an impressively honest internecine monologue an awkward silence again falls over the car. We proceed.
AN EARLY ARRIVAL at Glenmore Lodge ensures we can sign up for the various walking and climbing events we desire. There is a whole lodge for folk from Edinburgh – but we Hillwalkers are not alone. Baby Fergus representing the Yummicks arrives in style – or as much style as one can ever muster while riding a bike (such an uncivilised way to travel). Mountaineer though he may be this perpetual sin is forgiven (I write with my Hillwalking hat on) and he quickly joins our company. The work of the weekend begins that night.
LECTURES on a Friday night. It was like being back in first year. At least we were allowed to take alcohol in with us. Over the weekend we attended a multitude of lectures about both good practice and bad. Many were centred on the misfortunes of other university clubs in our discipline and made for uncomfortable listening. This was a weekend for learning though and comfort is not conducive to growth. Unusually for a Hillwalking weekend trip we get to bed early on the Friday night. Even more unusually we wake up to sun. 27 OUR PARTY IS DIVIDED with Becky and I joining some randoms for a day on the hill under the instruction of a mountain leader/microbiologist. People are fun. Most of our time is spent on refining navigation strategies. It is hypothesised that most of the misadventures of student clubs would have been avoidable with better navigation. Following a near death experience with a herd of reindeer, a craggy outcrop, an extremely long way down and what can only be described as the most co-ordinated act of aggression since the 6th of June 1944 I contemplated what I had learnt that day. Specifically - what reindeer look like. Becky’s gargantuan gastrocnemii are also worthy of a mention.
AT THE BAR after a long day of learning our congregation is reunited. It is clear everyone has enjoyed their day but the mood quickly deteriorates. Griffin is a cheat. For a man who clearly has an advanced working knowledge of the universe he has absolutely no concept of how to play cards. Donald’s exasperated attempts to explain the rules of elementary games fell on deaf ears. I will move swiftly on avoiding any easy cultural digs at our American friends. The night ended on a high – with team Edinburgh crumpled on the floor of the bar – it was not what it sounds like.
THE SUN RISES or at least we can only assume it did on the inaptly named Sunday. Torrential rain thrashes Glenmore Lodge – perfect weather to stay inside and play with ropes. Forced to forgive Griffin’s ghastly grifting the night before I embraced him as my climbing buddy and we spent the day working on anchors, multi-pitch problem solving and rescue techniques.
28 A day filled with climbing and cake was a perfect way to end the weekend and I think I speak for us both when I admit to irrepressible smugness as the groups who had been out hillwalking in the suboptimal Scottish weather returned drenched to their very cores – Becky, Donald and Holly among them. A perfect topping to the final battery of cakes we consumed before heading back to the Burgh.
ON A MORE SERIOUS NOTE it was clear from our discussions in the car on our journey home that we had got a lot from the weekend and in a lengthy email to the Training Secretary we have communicated this to the club. Though I have made marginally offensive comments about some club members in this piece (those spared saved by a lack of space rather than malice) we love the members of this club and hope they can use what we got from this weekend to look after themselves and their accomplices in terrain which is both spectacularly beautiful and inanimately unforgiving.
Thank you for the opportunity!
Driving Bitch
PS: NO BODY on the course was able to tell me what the acronym SMART actually stands for.
29 November Day Trip
“Chance of cloud free Munros? 10%. How Wet? Rain all day. How Windy? Easterly 30mph; increasing to 40 to 50mph.”
This was roughly what MWIS was forecasting about the weather for Saturday, 7th November and coincidentally a day trip was planned for this day. What is a normal interpretation of a forecast like this? Sleep long, stay in, watch some TV and have a relaxing day. What was our interpretation? Let’s go to Glenshee and do some hills!
So we met at 6.30 at our beloved CSE carpark, organised the walks and Jonathan drove us to the Glenshee Ski centre. Matt led a walk bagging Creag Leacach and Glas Maol. He was joined by Mehmet, who kindly provided some training during the walk. Simon and I did the 3 Cairnwell Munros. Without surprise, three hills in a day wouldn’t be enough for Monika, so she and Jonathan extended the 3 Cairnwell walk and included An Socatch as a forth Munro. This is a rather odd and unusual combination, but well... they are young and need the Munros.
30 I forgot what the 3 Cairnwells are well known for: They are known to be among the most boring Munros. Walkhighlands describes one of the Munros as “... one of the easiest and quickest Munros to climb, but that is its only distinction.” On Walkhighlands they rank on places 281, 279 and 239 (Interestingly Tom Buidhe on the other side of the Ski Resort is ranked last). Why? Most of the walk is on the slopes of the Glenshee Ski Centre, the total ascent is below 600m and distance a mere 13km. On the good side, the weather turned out to be much nicer than expected (thank you MWIS), there was almost no rain and we even got a few nice views towards the Cairngorm plateau. So it took us a bit less than 5 hours including a break until we found shelter in the Cafe at the bottom Ski Centre. .
During a hot chocolate, tea and other drinks, we started working on a jigsaw (of some band I have never heard of) and played Charades (guessing celebrities I have never heard of –I think I encounter a pattern here?). Luckily, I did not have to reveal the lack of knowledge on English and American celebrities as the other groups returned quickly from their walks. A German drove us back to Edinburgh, where we arrived quite early.
Even though it was an early morning and only a short walk, a day out is always a day out and there is nothing better than wearing your boots on a lovely hill somewhere in the highlands.
Jan Ditzen
31 November Daytrip 8th Nov
In a country filled with some of the most impressive landscapes on earth, Glen Shee leaves a lot to be desired. Its slopes are home to one of Scotland’s ski resorts (Resort is used very liberally here) and are not the most inspiring place to walk; however its number of easily accessible Munros and proximity to Edinburgh make it a good choice for a daytrip. Though it was with some trepidation I was returning there for the second day in a row with forecasts that mentioned 75mph gusts.
The brave, or dare I say perhaps just ignorant to the weather forecast, bunch set out from the CSE at seven to arrive in Glen Shee for just after nine. Three walks were planned: we had the luxury of being accompanied by Mehmet of Northern Aspect who was going to be taking one of the walks with some individuals interested in learning a little navigation, Karl was going to be taking a walk from the Spittal of Glen Shee that would take people to the loch below Beinn Lutharn Mhor (A Munro that still evades me..). And Daniel and I would be attempting the Carinwell Munros, a circuit of three Munros that requires less elevation gain than it normally takes to climb one Munro.
Underway for 09:30, we made fast progress through deteriorating weather conditions towards the ridge. I began to have my doubts as to how we would fair. These fears were confirmed when a couple who had left before us, passed us on their retreat from the top, warning of unmanageable wind strengths. I decided we would push on and see the reality of this for ourselves. Fair to say they were correct, winds strong enough to push me about greeted us, and Daniel was needed to hold down some of the smaller members of our party. 32
Being only 50m from the top I was keen to push on up to it with those keen to “bag” the Munro but as the wind suddenly strengthened we called the walk and descended rapidly to the ski centre. Perhaps the first EUHWC walk to conclude in 44mintues by my watch.
For our group, the remainder of the day consisted of a game of Ludo, the worst board game I have ever played, a meeting with the Subaru enthusiasts club, and a quick drive down to Braemar and Balmoral, only to find everything was closed as it was a Sunday. It was alleged that the walk organisers sang a round of Taylor Swifts hits to keep up moral but sadly any evidence to that effect has been mysteriously lost. We regrouped with the others in the Bridge of Cally hotel, Mehmet’s group had had a long wet day without any tops climbed also. And Karl had found his loch in the fog, an experience he described as how Lewis and Clarke must have felt on discovering the Pacific Ocean.
All in all perhaps not the most inspiring day on the hills but was a hilarious day that I don’t think will go forgotten by many.
Jonathan Osborne
33 Ullapool Weekend
It is a well-known fact that the further north and west you go in Scotland, the better it gets. So as this trip was the furthest north, west we were going this year it was bound to be a good’un, and it was! Although for me the focus was less of hill walking, and more on eating good food.
The food tour started before we even arrived in Ullapool when we stopped for a toilet break at the House of Bruar and discovered that it was their Christmas sale on which meant FREE FOOD TASTERS!! Mince pies, bread, sausages, chutney, fudge, gin…. Pretty much everything you could think of was being given away! We then continued to battle up through the snow making it to Ullapool were we visited the renowned Seaforth Inn for fish and chips.
It is a well-known fact that the further north and west in Scotland you go, the better the hills get. Some people thought this trip was about visiting cafes and pie shops – let me tell you that this trip was actually about the age-old struggle of MAN against MOUNTAIN, humans as meaningless as insects crouched trembling on barren rock older than time, desperate to prove the worth of their microscopic lives by summiting the highest mound of earth in their proximity as many times as possible.
34
The next day we set off even further north west into the legendry Assynt probably the best bit of Scotland there is. Driving past the magnificent hills of Suilven, Canisp and Stac Polidh was beautiful and the weather was even pretty decent despite the poor forecast. My group was attempting to climb Breabag which involved walking along a river up a valley and visiting the bone caves which were pretty exciting.
Due to time constraints of making sure we made it to the larder pie shop before it shut, we did not make it to the top, but it was still fun and once we got to the larder it was definitely worthwhile as the pies were delicious!! I bought three to stock up for when I got back to Edinburgh. We then went and ate them on the best beach in all of Scotland, Achmelvich and watched the awesome(ish/ fairly poor) sunset.
What purpose has a pie compared to the magnificence of the Fannichs, 32878756 meters high? What meaning has tea, weak withered leaves bathed in water, when one could drink from the pure mountain river? How could one possibly prefer limp dough baked in a convection oven over Lewisian Gneiss formed by the inner fire and crush of the Earth?!
35 Back at the hostel we were treated to more excellent food cooked by Sionyn and Stuart, including a delicious sticky toffee pudding, ymmmmmmm. Once again the weather forecast was not great so I signed up for the walk which would take in the most cafes. And so we spent Sunday touring round the sites of Scotland including gorges, lochs, waterfalls and cafes.
The sticky toffee pudding was great, though; I completely agree there. Kudos to Sionyn.
A small group did however get it into their heads that they, for some reason, wanted to climb some mountains instead of the much more enjoyable food tour we were all on and despite the forecast attempted to summit several of the Fannichs. Despite this being an objectively terrible idea doomed to failure they managed to get five done..
Steph Ward & Monika O’Shea
Imogen: Do you reckon Ed's group have done a Donald today?
Monika: What, done Donald?
John Mann: Does Donald know about this?
36 Firbush Navigation Skills th 27-29 Nov
Six of us left from a dark and damp car park at CSE Pleasance on a Friday evening mid November. We were not sure what to do or what to expect from a weekend at the fabled Firbush Outdoor Centre, expect the reassuring words from Owain, saying that ‘the food is very good’. Coinciding with storm number three of the season, named ‘Clodagh’, our trip up North was accompanied by heavy winds and showers of sleet – which was, as it turned out, only a forebode for what was to come. Upon arrival at Loch Tay, the weather forecasts were beyond dreadful, with the thrilling prediction of ‘0% percent chance cloud free Munros’, and a cloud base as low as 300 meters. All in all, it seemed like we would be learning how to navigate in the most difficult conditions.
Next morning, the weather had indeed continued to worsen – with heavy winds and a considerable chance at whiteouts. Yet all of this did not prohibit us from having a truly remarkable time. We had an incredible instructor who managed to safely get us up the hill, practice navigation and return home, even though the weather conditions were more suitable to do winter skills rather than navigation skills.
37 Although many of us had never felt colder than that day out on the hills, the group spirit remained high. Even when I managed to fall into a stream (lesson learnt: never volunteer to cross a river first when you are the smallest person of your group) and soak my boots, the overall quality of the day was very good, and I decided that although I would have never gone out on a day like that, I’d rather have done it under supervision of a Firbush Instructor than with a couple of friends.
Sunday had similar weather conditions, so we were once again forced to find lower ground to practice our nav. After a snowball fight and a brief clearance during which we managed to take some breathtaking pictures, we returned to Firbush shortly after, where conditions became even more extreme: the entire Loch Tay area suffered from a power cut, right at the moment we wanted to take our well deserved showers!
Overall we had a lovely time – and after these horrible conditions I am definitely a confident navigator when it comes to navigating through less horrible conditions. Firbush weekend is definitely one to remember and I’d recommend everyone to go there when you have the chance.
Lisanne Cheizoo
38 Hawkshead Christmas trip
For Christmas this year our sights were set on the lovely village of Hawkshead in the Lake District. A wonderful hostel which promised to provide us with the perfect position for climbing such wonderful hills as Coniston Old Man, and the epic ridge of Helvellyn, in and amongst other smaller peaks.
Things started to go downhill on the Thursday before we left, with the Met Office telling us that a storm would be blowing in from the Atlantic that very weekend; wind speeds of around 100mph were forecast for the hill tops; not ideal weather. This did not deter us however, and everyone showed up to the CSE Car Park on Friday evening; smiles on our faces, Christmas hats on our heads and presents for Secret Santa tucked under our arms. After bundling into cars and the minibus we made our way South to an area rarely visited by EUHWC. The wind was howling and the rain lashing down, but our drivers continued on undeterred; determined to make it to the Lakes. We arrived late in the evening and with the promise of awful weather the next day, everyone made their way to bed, ready for an early, or for some people a late start.
39 On Saturday morning Owain’s group were first to leave at the cheerful time of 7:30am. However within the hour they had returned. Disaster had struck! The road up to the bottom of the hill was flooded, and after attempting another route they were advised by the Fire Brigade to turn back. Quickly the walk organisers set to work; organising low level walks from the hostel.
Monika’s group planned on waking to Grasmere and back, our eyes set on the gingerbread shop there. Unfortunately, the walk was cut short by one impassable flooded road. We returned back to the hostel, trudging through newly forged rivers (once known as roads) with water up to our knees. After a quick pit-stop at the local Co-op to replenish our drink supplies, and to buy some last minute Christmas gifts, we made our way back to the hostel, glad to have done some walking even though no hills were climbed.
Monika: Do you guys know the movie Black Sheep? Edward: Is that the one about the whale?
40 Shedding our soaked clothing, donning our Christmas jumpers, and cracking open a beer or two, we settled in to the hostel for the rest of the day. In order to pass the time everyone got to work chopping vegetables, and helping Becky and the other cooks for the evening prepare the evening meal. The lovely festive atmosphere was soured somewhat by a missile fight that Edward started, culminating in us all lobbing our cardboard weapons at Karl and failing spectacularly. The beef stew (chickpea stew for the veggies) was delicious though! And was followed up by a generous helping of Christmas pudding, with some rather ashy-tasting custard; owing to the fact that someone had burnt it! Thankfully Steve had decided to make brandy butter so the pudding was saved!
Our stomachs full, we all settled down and were blessed with a visit from Father Christmas (unfortunately Karl decided to go for a nap for an hour or two at this point…). After admiring our wonderful gifts, Matt and Steve cracked out the guitar and fiddle to provide the music for a wee ceilidh! With the sound of the wonderful Gaelic music still in our ears, everyone made their way to bed, ready for some great walking that was guaranteed to occur on the morrow, thanks to a wonderful weather forecast.
Sunday morning and the sun was singing bright and early! Slowly everyone emerged from their rooms, their hungover selves wincing at That Bright Yellow Thing in the sky. No walking was to happen very early however as we realised we were confined to the hostel- all roads still being flooded. While our scouts went out to Hawkshead village to try and find which roads could be used, we passed the time by commencing an epic game of piggy in the middle. Spanning several decades (a couple of hours), involving hundreds of hillwalkers (maybe 20 at it’s peak) and a dozen piggies (well… 3 piggies) it was a game to stand the test of time (it will probably be forgotten by next year). But at the time it was a wonderful distraction from the lack of hills being climbed. 41
Finally, after planning a route out of the lakes and on to the M6 we left the hostel at around noon. We stopped off to climb one of the smaller hills in Great Langdale; Lingmoor Fell, which was coincidentally John Mann’s last Wainwright! After a couple of drinks at the top to celebrate this achievement we made our way back down to the minibus and commenced the 7-hour journey back to Edinburgh (usually 4 hours but elongated due to the number of detours we had to make due to flooded roads).
This may have been the Hillwalking trip during which the least hill walks actually happened. However, there is no denying the fact that this will go down in the EUHWC’s history as one of the most dramatic trips. Also the one with the highest alcohol consumption (Sorry Hawkshead Co-op for depleting your supply of alcohol so thoroughly). I don’t think I’ve ever had more fun on a trip though! It really pushed my body to new extremes. For example; seeing how much alcohol I could consume over a 10-hour period (It turned out to be a surprising amount). I think that thanks must be given to the drivers for having to drive for so long in awful conditions. Also well done to the meet organisers for managing the awful wrath of Desmond very well and ensuring the weekend was so joyful! If there’s one thing we learnt from this trip, it’s that we probably shouldn’t go to England again.
Imogen Christopher
42 Loch Tay December Daytrip
It was the last trip of the semester, and since it was during the exam period it was a much quieter trip than normal: thirteen hillwalkers who either didn't have exams or were so dedicated that it didn't stop them.
At 6am we were bleary-eyed but just about awake at CSE; Simon heroically turned up and was helping to find crampons for everyone,even though he wasn't going on the trip. We piled into the minibus and some of us were planning on sleeping, but found that the music was just too good to sleep through. We were just about there when we had a bit of an issue with the minibus and an icy road, and even when it was decided to reverse down the road there was a slightly tense moment when one of the front wheels stopped moving. However it all turned out right in the end, and walking an extra couple of kilometres was deemed far better than risking the minibus. 43
We were walking up Meall nan Tarmachan, pleasantly surprised by the lack of wind, and a very easy start to the walk, even though the snow on the ground became knee deep quite quickly (especially for those of us who are short). A lot of the chat was about the antics of the Christmas trip and what gossip would get into the Burns speeches. By the time we reached the false summit there was some slight disappointment at how far away the real summit seemed to be, but after getting up a particularly steep section we were rewarded with the sky clearing and the sun coming out. Everyone started taking pictures and by the time we reached the summit, we were all confident that this trip would produce some of the best photos of all the trips and felt very sorry for all the people missing out on such great views.
We were joined at the top by some skiers and their dog, one of whom used to be a EUHWC member a few years ago. We discussed current members he would remember ('Jim defies generations', he said) and cordially invited him to the pub whenever he was about. By the time we were leaving, more hillwalkers had got to the top, so there were about 25 people and three dogs on the summit, which was a bit too crowded.
The descent got a bit exciting as Jonathon showed us how to use an ice axe (and explained many ways we could maim ourselves with one). After a thrilling slide down a steep slope, we basically started acting like kids playing in the snow, pretty much all falling on our arses in the deeper snow. It was all a lot of fun! 44 We stopped off in Callander so a couple of people could get something to eat, and the rest of us went into a pub for a drink. We noticed it was set up for a Christmas meal, and were told it 'might get a bit rowdy in fifteen minutes'. Sure enough, a group of people dressed as elves turned up, already at an impressive stage of drunkenness for 5pm. It made our group, mostly drinking hot chocolate, look tame in comparison - quite an achievement!
The journey home included more tunes which inspired an impromptu karaoke session (including 'ain't no mountain high enough', obviously), and we all arrived back at the CSE a bit tired but happy to have been on such a good trip, and keen to brag about it at the pub the next week!
Laura Falkiner-Rogers
45 Winter Skills Daytrip 16th Jan “Adam use your mouth!” – Imogen
As January began the Edinburgh University Hillwalking Club was about to enter the winter season for hillwalking. Where long, warm(er) days of walking on mud and rock up and down hills is traded for short, really cold days of walking up snow and ice to the top of hills, and then bum sliding down. To prepare for this it was time for our annual winter skills daytrip, where we equip newcomers with the skills necessary for winter walking.
The day started like any other day trip, at 6:45 in the morning at the CSE car park. Glen Clova was our destination for the day where we would be doing some winter skills practice. Once we got there we split into three groups. One walk was lead by Jonathan, one by Matt and one by Jim. Jonathan’s walk was determined to get a Munro out of the day so they attempted the summit of Mayar. Walk highlands describes this Munro as a “bump-like summit on a plateau” so I was quite disappointed my group didn’t make it to the top. Jim’s group and Matt’s group instead decided to play around on the southeast slopes of Mayar and not go for a summit. The three groups set off from the car park. 46
I was on Matt’s walk and we started by walking southwest through a forest to where the hill began. It wasn’t long before we got to parts of the path that were covered in ice so my co-walkers and I were able to get some practice falling on ice. In no time we were out of the forest and started to approach the snow covered southeast slopes of the plateau, which meant it was time to practice some winter walking.
We got some bum sliding coupled with ice axe arresting, we practiced cutting steps up steep slopes and we even got a brief chance to use the crampons at the top of the plateau. On the way down we got even more practice ice axe arresting and some of the more ambitious folks even tried arresting from a backwards fall.
It was a good day on the hill, with some decent weather and plenty of snow on the ground. A great way to start off the winter walking season.
Griffin Ernest
“It's called ‘wind slab’ because the wind blows the snow and makes a slab” – Donald
47 Winter Skills Daytrip 17th Jan
After a typically early morning start gathering in the CSE carpark we were off on our way to a day of fun in the snow. A car journey of laughs/ napping, later we arrived at the Glen Clova Hotel where we learned about avalanche forecasts and crampon fitting from Ed, Monika and Daniel.
Then we set off on our way up Driesh! A steep ascent up a grassy slope to start got us all properly warmed up before we reached the snow. After a brief snowball fight we were on our way again, learning how to use the ice axes and crampons, as well as consuming a lot of jelly babies. We stopped for lunch in the sun, before heading to the summit in the clouds. By the time we got to the top everyone’s hair had frozen, making us all look about 50 years older.
Then my favourite part of the day, the way down! After being taught how to ice axe arrest, we all had a great deal of “practice,” which mainly consisted of racing each other in sliding down the hill. By the time we had finished playing in the snow the sun was beginning to go down and we finished the walk in the dark with our head torches on. 48 We ended up back in the Glen Clova hotel with hot chocolates for some and whiskey for others before heading home.
It was an absolutely brilliant day in the snow, with loads of new skills learnt and a great deal of fun had!
Mairi MacDonald
49 Loch Lochy Burns Trip 22-24th Jan
The Burns trip weekend started off with a bang; the literal sound as Arnaud’s hire car sprang a leak in its tire, so our group got to sit on a bench in the airport on a Europcar visit.
Once in a car with four functioning wheels, the thought of arriving at midnight didn't appeal! I was thankful that someone had saved me a bed, that is, till I realized I’d be sharing with Ed.
The good news was that the beer had appeared, and the weather forecast wasn't piss for once, which was weird, so the walk organizers settled down for a good ol' walk chat, where we all decide who goes up this and that.
Arnaud and I set our hearts on the two Munros from the hostel which in prior years had proved, for some reason, impossible, so I signed up a brave crew with an intrepid look and left at 6am (as MO had to be back early to cook).
50 In rain and darkness we went marching ahead along the "Coffin Road" once used to transport the dead. The wind was howling, sky cloudy, the very earth hummed, one gust blew us all over, even Arnaud succumbed!
Despite the wind stealing a map case and knocking us flat and Adam almost running off a cliff in pursuit of Matt's hat, we struggled to the first summit to a whopping "zero" view, Sophie and Mairi clutching each other and my fingers gone blue...
Thank goodness, the second hill posed less of a scene as after some food at the bealach, the weather became serene. The wind stalled, the cloud parted, and it was perfect just so to allow the Frenchman some peace on his 150th Munro.
The walk's finale was relaxed and took just a short while, our speed increased by descent in usual bumsliding style, so we found ourselves on Loch Lochy's shore at just 2 o'clock with good time for a swim (quite the cold water shock!).
Malcolm, Harry, and Adam went for a dip, the rest of us built sandcastles and shit, then we bopped back to the hostel and took up kitchen duty over Mr. Cheiftan Haggis in the oven, what a beauty!
51
The other guys later came back from their fun, Jan steaming from the ears as they'd achieved only one (HA), settled down to a meal of poetry and good cheer, the speeches anticipated with appropriate fear...
I’d wanted to ceilidh, but that plan was scrapped when our piper went down for an impromptu nap. We were puzzled, as it was early, but then Imogen’s wink explained it all – she and Jonathan had spiked Donald’s drink!
While the heartless devils hid, Bryn and Colin were fated to clean up what the Tennents/whisky combo created. The laughter, drinking and dancing provided a delight, yet Donald wasn't the final drama of the night.
While reciting Tom O'Shanter Edward downed a bottle of whisky, the effects of which left him feeling quite frisky; he stripped off all his clothes and tried to strip Simon too so we dragged him screaming off to the loo.
There, the infamous "waterboarding" event took place, but I won't say anymore, so that I can save face.
“SIMON!!!!!!” - Ed 52
Waking up the next morning was an ordeal to endure and the leftover cranachan for breakfast had lost its allure. In fact, despair hung in the air like an intangible gas, as every walk would be departing from Drumochter Pass.
Well, trudging hungover knee-deep in cold slush is made even more enjoyable by a great rush. Single-file on a bearing, we plowed through the snow, determined to reach the summit of a very boring Munro.
But it's worth every minute, whether sober, pissed, steady, quick, bagger, or rambler, we persist to the highest reaches of the Highlands, where it all simply feels right. And that ends my narration of the Great Glen Burns Night.
Monika O’Shea
53 While there s girls in the club that say they re a Toast to the Lassies bagger There s none that can beat Monika, she s mad as a hatter! It doesn t matter if the hills boring, or covered in mist, As long as she gets to tick something off her list.
Off the hill too, she s got plenty of ambition, I m sure she s eying up the presidential position. But I m afraid, even with all of that said, I can t think of you that highly, because you re going out with Ed.
After over a year you think she d start to see, That her boyfriends a twat, to an infuriating degree! I hate to tell you this Monika, but he s dragging you down, Why have you settled for such an insufferable clown? So here s where we celebrate the girls of hillwalking,
Although they drink far too much, and they never Poor old Edward, he does try to keep up with her, stop talking, But I suspect he s starting to lose his taste for But despite all their flaws, they re alright I admit, adventure. And deserving of recognition – well, at least a little While she satisfies her masochism trudging through bit. the gloam,
Edward s satisfaction can be found a bit closer to I ve been gathering Intel from all through the year, home. So that all the club happenings can be made clear.
And sorry to anyone who doesn t get mentioned, Yes, he pretends to like walking twenty miles in the There s just too much gossip vying for attention. sleet,
But really he d rather just have a shag round the So where better to start, than with our dear leader, back of Arthurs Seat. When it comes to organisation, there s no one can beat her. Steph is quite sensible, or so it would seem, Armed with dozens of spreadsheets, and some Apart from the fact that she harbours an unusual tyrannical zeal, dream, She rules over the club, with a fist made of steel. To be a millionaire, or rock star? No, that s not it,
She wants to move to New Zealand, to live as a But perhaps on her methods I am being a bit tough, hobbit. After all when out on the hill, she really knows her stuff. With partying she d have plenty of practice, you d She s done all the training, and been to all the talks, think, So it a bit strange that she never bothers, to lead any But the truth is, she really can t handle her drink. walks.. At the Christmas meal, after just a glass of wine or
two, Perhaps it s because of her perpetual injuries, She had to promptly retire, to throw up in the loo.. Seriously, if it s not her back, it s her shoulders, or her knees.
And on her strange taste in men, I ll try not to linger,
But suffice it to say, she s going out with a ginger. ... Alas, Lucy s reign is nearing its end, And into employment, she soon must ascend Well after years of enduring us men and our screeching, She should be well prepared to go into teaching. 54 In the midst of all this debauchery, how can Love must have been in the air on the anyone stay innocent? Hogmanay trip, I m genuinely asking, please Becky, tell us your As ever since then, they ve been joined at the hip. secret! Year after year, you put the rest of us to shame, But please, could you both turn it down just a Do you have not a single bit of gossip to your tad? name? You re too cute together; it makes the rest of us look bad! Completely tee-total, and vegetarian too, And if you both go for committee, I think the It no wonder I can t find any good stories to use. club might be in trouble, So how am I supposed to cut through the The last thing we need is yet another power veneer? couple. All I can say is, please, try a bit harder next year. Due to a romantic prediction, from this speech For some people, their first walk can be an last year, ordeal, I feel I should mention Ruth, even though she s Not least for Anna, who was nearly carried of not here. the hill. In fact she s hardly been seen, where could she But at least in the pub, she s far more at ease, be at? She even gets annoyed if anyone tries to leave. Chances are she s somewhere, sitting on Struan s lap. She couldn t be accused of ever being shy, But there s some things about her that you Poor Laura is used to people making fun of her cannot deny, height Yes she might come across as a wee bit bananas, Well, to her a Munro must seem quite a sight. But there s no-one that s got moves, quite as But are there any midget jokes that haven t good as Anna s. already been said? I can think of a couple, but they d just go over This year the club has quite a few foreign her head. members, But there s one whose name no one can seem to It s quite hard to embarrass a burlesque dancer, remember. But I think I might have come up with the Is it Anne, Anna, An Ne? answer, Why is your name so confusing to say? Laura s dressmaking skills are really quite neat, Except when her dress breaks, and falls off in Its almost a shame she s leaving us so soon, the street. By the way, back home I ve heard she lives in a hippy commune. I think Chloe only joined the club to find herself Not quite all the lassies are such riotous types, a man, Some take a bit longer before they start to show Although was going for Adam really the best their true stripes. plan? It s not that there s anything wrong with him at For example, Mairi started off as quite all, unassuming, But you ll have a tough job dragging him off the Who d have known what a maneater, under the climbing wall. surface was looming. But she s not the only one; it would seem to Speaking of climbing, how could I not mention appear, Lis, Seems like everyone busy generating gossip this Who I ve heard is quite the bouldering whizz. year. She must have plenty time to practise I would say, Some people, like Rosie, are a wee bit more Considering her degree consists of just watching subtle, films all day. While others can t wait to be part of a couple. And if we re mentioning couples, I could hardly begin, ... Without talking about Jonathon, and Imogen. 55 So, to all the new hillwalkers sat here tonight, So gentlemen, please stand up, and let s give a You ve probably learnt enough about the club to shout, give you a fright, To the girls that we just couldn t quite do But while you might think it s a laugh, I ll tell without. you this for true, Just laugh while you can, because it will happen to you! To the Lassies! But when all s said and done, I have to admit, Without all of you lassies, this club would be shit. And hillwalking would definitely be dull without you, After all, what else are we supposed to look at, the view?
56 meetings, Lassies Reply As after a bottle of whisky he s prone to repeating, His statements make no sense, though we do try To understand his philosophical musing about alumni,
Maybe it's time he swapped his whisky for tea To stop him doing things like climbing the national library
He should have at least rung angus when he took on the task, He seems pretty used to being used for his rack,
With his Medic crowd, angus is often fifth wheeling So now he s out looking for that loving feeling. What can I say about the men of our club? An old mattress cupboard in the lakes was I m embarrassed to say half the rumours I ve where he first looked heard at the pub! Whilst everyone else got the Christmas meal cooked After going all out in writing last years speech Apologies if this is shorter, I m trying not to Given the lack of walking, we had a great time repeat. in the Lakes Apparently good grub, a beardless santa and Owain is a Twat. whisky is all it takes,
On this night a year ago, Oh and that game drunk people play when their Our hillwalking club let its true feelings show guards slip, Wee Owain was just trying to create some fun Which is great to sit in on if you want to hear And accidentally became the the theme of the some gossip. pun
He s got the hair and the different vintage So, for the toast, I made my notes in the same sweater every day, book a gain, But just to clarify things for Sionyn, Owain isn t Allowing me to take a trip down memory lane, Gay To a time when Edward was obsessed with Though you may not see Owain every week at Epics, the pub, Rather than coming off rather pathetic. You cannot question his dedication to our club, When he started dating Monika he was after In September we were waiting on Owain to every munro in the book start a Committee Meeting But when she bagged them faster than him he When he turned up in a daze after quite a just gave up! beating He d been knocked off his bike into the I m sorry Edward, it must be quite a sting windshield of a car, When you re girlfriends awesome and you re the And instead of going to hospital, joined us to faff king. decide on a new club bar,
He sat through the entire meeting, worrying everyone who was there, ... Next time, wear a helmet, even if it messes up your hair!
Simon also brings something new to our 57 Though Ed s still having some fun exposed in the Moving on to our secretary, wind, who check his emails more often than necessary His new hobby seems to be bagging Maralyns... First I thought he just didn t want to get anything wrong His new hobby seems to be Shagging on Till I had a look myself and saw what was going Maralyns. on I was on a search for an email from the SU It doesn t sound very comfortable in when I came across a message all the way from Edinburgh's forecast, Peru! But that s fine, I ve heard from my sources that he s reliably fast. Now I know why our Stu is never stressed, Receiving emails with titles such as: Nudes sharing request, Griffin is a cheat, that s all I ve got, We just wanted to play go fish, but with griffin In 2011 when Stuart and I both joined this club, we could not We were just two keen freshers hanging around For when Griffin plays cards, anything goes, the pub, As he plays by the rules that only he knows!
Callums moved to stirling, which is rather shit Stuart was a quiet young lad, with a fair, It's always fun to watch him act like a tit innocent glow, I m joking, I won t be mean, I love our sugar Until one night changed everything, with Hip- lump, Hop in Bongo. And I lay into him hard last year when he gave me the fucking mumps. Now this story has been told time and time again, he and Alison are in a relationship that seems Just check our club archives for the speeches on pretty healthy, our men, As we are reminded with every single facebook selfie, We ve all heard the legend of Bongo of course, The night our Wee Stuie became the Dark Their romance is roaring and is not just a Horse, cinder, Impressive, given they met… through a friend But this year our legendary tale improves, We now know the lady with the x-rated moves! From Tinder to Grinder I ve heard Sionyn s Gaydar needs fine tuning, I m glad the story came full circle whilst I was Owain s not the only straight guy that s had still here, Sionyn swooning, Or is this just the beginning of a new tale for next year? All these false rumours, ups and downs can t be too good for your health For two members last year, Alex and I had But that s what you get for telling a Girl that a nothing to write, Guy likes her, then going for him yourself So we just made some shit up, after a few drinks that night, John Mann has had a pretty exciting year, He s now summited every Wainwright I hear So I wrote Struan in this club you will go far, I dont really want to make a joke about that If only because you have a car John, that s awesome, Congrats! His secret keeping skills are really quite pathetic Arnaud s also had a milestone, he s been on over We ve all seen him getting chummy with our 50 trips, other medic. Which is impressive, and we re grateful for your chocolate-y friendship ... 58 Clearly my speech created this couple, hive, But my love potion line soon got us in trouble, However things didn t go as planned, The romance, much to meads dissapointment, As they left the club hand in hand, used to be quite bland, But by the Kingussie trip things had got out of So Jonathan decided to kneel over, to tie his lace, hand, and when she dropped his hand he ran off at pace. John Mann tried to hold his feelings in but in the end he just couldn t, Donald is a quiet guy, and with tear filled eyes told Jan My passion for Until he s found his beer supply, you burns in places it shouldn t Thank you, Colin our Medic But Jan had spent the day complimenting For cleaning up Donalds recent epic Adler's eyes his beauty And when they shared that sausage things got a He then becomes quite a lively type, bit fruity, As he slurs through another song on the bagpipe But by April, the club had worked out all the And Donald will be remembered every time the blips, club convenes, With over half of us in couples on the In the gear room, now filled with a ton of re- Achmelvich Love Trip freid beans
And to top it all off John Massey is back again, Jim, You re still here, and I ve got no more lines After one dance move at the ceilidh girls were waiting, screaming his name, After nearing 30 years with this club you ve he just looks so cool with every move, learnt how to avoid a slating combined with that voice he s just incredibly smooth! Daniel however, has been off the booze for the past half a year, Jonathan and Adams impact on our club has Until his birthday last week when he was clearly been clear, back on the beer! without them half our trips would have been cancelled this year! Vodka, absinthe and shots For a self proclaimed light weight he drank How promising it is to have two bus drivers for quite a lot! each trip, especially two who are joined at the hip. And who ever said that romance was dead, When men like daniel pass out when there s a Since day 1 their bromance was blooming, lassie in their bed that's for sure, However many of us were curious if there was When it comes to your drink limit Daniel, I think actually something more? you ve crossed the line, When the girl s scared you're dead and They re inseparable in every photo, and they considers calling 999 seem such flirts, Spending entire walk trying to persuade each It s a shame that last semester his drinking other to take off their shirts. spree froze I was enjoying hearing about his post-jazz bar They wouldn t be the first couple to try and fool walks in the meadows us, By saying they re going to pick up the bus ... Alas, it turns out that they just like to drive, As we found out when Jonathan met a lass in the 59 And that's not all the rumors I ve heard, You re a fricken lovely bunch, and damn good Love triangles, who kissed who, it's all pals becoming quite blurred, To all the new men I ve had to miss out, So here s a toast to the men, from the You ll make next year's speech without a Hillwalking Gals!!! doubt.
I ve had to make an edit tonight, As there s always the who s poem was the best fight, And though I d say my speech ain t that shabby, I think the crown should go to our Harry
And though it's so fun to make a dig at our Blokes We wouldn t swap them for any other folk
60 Firbush Winter Skills
What comes to mind when you think of Scotland in winter? Is it the sparkle of frost in the light of your headtorch on those cold, early starts, feeling the sting on your cheeks of the crisp, clear air? And perhaps you think of the crunch of hard snow beneath your boot as you stride along a ridge, with white horizons stretching endlessly in every direction beneath the pearl blue sky?
You can forget that image now.
Never mind the weather though; we were in Firbush on serious business! Not only did we beat the wilderness medic society at their own pub quiz, we also put them in their place when it came to the cardboard box game (for which Holly gets a mention although we all know she's really a runner). Who knew that being able to lick the floor without getting your hands dirty would come in so useful? Of course nobody could walk the next day for the terrible groin injuries. The writer did his bit for the club by crushing the competition at table mountaineering. (For those who take an interest in such matters, the reverse-longitudinal 360 of a 4 ft/ 20 lb oak veneer is best achieved using a double-toe hook to secure the drop-off).
No, let us be fair. The medics did attempt to swim in Loch Tay both mornings. We actually forgot our swimming trunks, but at least had the opportunity to enjoy the full cooked breakfasts free from any affects of hypothermia. If only the same could be said of lunch on the side of Meall nan Tarmachan...
Out on the hill, twelve members of the club enjoyed expert guidance from the Firbush staff in navigation from contour to contour, ice-axe self belaying and basic crampon technique. No photos are available as everybody's cameras were instantly destroyed and blown away by the unceasing 100mph blizzard. If you think I'm exaggerating, I am. But, as hillwalkers, that is what we do best.
Harry Carstairs
61 Ratagan Weekend
On a cold and dark February evening at the CSE the hearts of the hillwalkers were incandescent at the prospect of a weekend spent in Ratagan with a weather forecast described by one committee member of three years as "The best I've ever seen!"
On the drive over I chose to follow the advice of our esteemed ex-president in his note in the last yearbook: "Choose to ignore the 50mph speed limit, or choose not to drive the bus." Resulting in us arriving half an hour ahead of the other bus, an achievement of which I'm inordinately proud. In all seriousness however we owe James Fathers (who hails from the 2012-13 committee), and Rodney Stewart (his first time behind the wheel) a great deal of thanks for coming along and driving on the trip, we couldn't have done it without you! 62
There's one more aspect of the journey up which deserves a mention, a cautionary tale which proves even experienced members of the committee sometimes get it wrong. I'm speaking of course of the frozen red berries, Lucy. Apparently those responsible for doing the shopping had never before seen what happens when frozen red berries are left to defrost, resulting in us finding what looked like a spectacularly bloody murder scene in the back of the bus upon arrival, complete with every piece of gear covered in thick, sticky red liquid. The eventual Eton mess was pretty damn good though!
After tense negotiations which lasted long into the night, the following programme of walks was agreed for Saturday. Becky would lead a party to tackle the dramatic Five Sisters ridge. Monika, not content with the ample challenge of the Three Brothers, chose also to ascend the neighbouring Ciste Dhubh. James would take on the aforementioned hill on its own and Jan, ever the maverick, chose to eschew the spectacular Glen Shiel altogether, climbing three northerly Munros with appallingly complicated Gaelic names. John Mann would lead a group up the unrelentingly steep Beinn Sgritheall, and Angus, Harry and Owain went off to do some climbing or something.
63 Our final walk for Saturday deserves a section all of its own, for the second time this year Mehmet joined us to provide his wonderful winter skills training completely free of cost! The training was universally agreed to be excellent by all who participated, and many who first cut their teeth winter walking with Mehmet that day have since gone on to become steely thighed Munro conquerors. We all owe Mehmet an enormous debt of gratitude!
It's hard to describe the feeling those of us on Becky's walk experienced when, after a gruelling 450 metres of ascent in under 2k horizontal distance, we reached the Bealach an Lapain at the start of the Sisters ridge, and were confronted by a clear blue sky broken only by the white hot point of the rising sun and rank upon rank of sharp, stark and pure white mountains in all directions. It was one of those rare moments where all thoughts of navigation, timings and tiredness are completely banished, and before you know it you've all spent a quarter of an hour doing nothing but frantically taking pictures and occasionally falling to your knees, shouting "Oh my god it's so beautiful!".
For those of us who'd been on a lot of the most recent club trips in less than ideal weather conditions it was a much needed reminder of why hillwalking is such an awesome sport. Even if there are only one or two moments a year where the full majesty of the highlands really hits you, it's still worth all the days spent in wind, rain and cloud. I think by the time we got back to the hostel on Saturday evening everyone on the trip had been infected by the same state of zen, of peace and of deep, if slightly sleepy, contentment. Well, everyone except Angus, Harry and Owain, who spent every hour of daylight in a dark, north facing gully and arrived back well after dinner.
64 The evening was spent reading each other cheesy chat up lines (it was the Valentines trip after all); eating a tasty vegetarian (controversial) dish, ably prepared for us by Becky; engaging in the traditional hillwalking pastimes of table mountaineering and sock wrestling (I'm still carrying the scars, two months later) with Simos the eventual victor; a little stargazing and of course planning walks for the following day.
Encouraged by a glowing report from John Mann, Monika decided to spend Sunday on Beinn Sgritheall, whilst Jan and Karl did Ciste Dhubh, James Fathers led a walk up Am Bathach, a Corbett, and more training was again provided by Mehmet.
Our final walk of Sunday also deserves a section all of its own, however for very different reasons... In another shock departure from his normally obsessively single-minded quest to bag every Corbett in sight, John Mann did what few are brave enough to risk the scorn and derision of their peers by doing, and lead a hated faff. Described as a "cultural exploration" by Freyja, by all accounts a fantastic time was had by all at Eileen Donan Castle and the Brochs at Glenelg, whatever they might be.
“I’m straddling the Cornice.” – Monika
65 The weather on Sunday was again universally impeccable and those of us who climbed Beinn Sgritheall were rewarded with spectacular views of the lonely and mysterious Knoydart peninsula, the craggy and foreboding Cuillin across the Water on Skye, the epic mountains guarding Glen Shiel and even the steep, striated Munros of Torridon. We were also engaged in friendly conversation by many of the charming locals in Arnisdale, a small but lively community with a surprisingly complex relationship with the local fauna, consisting largely of constant battles to keep gardens free of deer and skin free of ticks. I only hope they can forgive me for potentially running over one of their signposts as I turned the bus around to leave (I wasn't inclined to check, but something went clunk...)
The extremely long drive back was made bearable, pleasant even, by dinner at the Cluanie Inn, by Becky's impeccable playlist (so many Pina Coladas) and by a deep sense of contentment brought on by what was universally agreed to be the best weekend of hillwalking in our young lives. The wonderful weather was, of course a major factor, but one should never underestimate the importance of fantastic company on a weekend away, and I can truthfully say that the weekend I spent in Ratagan had fantastic company in spades, so my heartfelt thanks to all who were involved in organising the trip and to everyone who made the weekend such a fun and memorable experience.The fantastic weather in Ratagan persisted through much of the following month and was, if anything, topped by the conditions on the next trip to Cannich... Ah but I'm getting ahead of myself, that's a story for another time. Adam Carnall 66 February Daytrip
There are 3 types of people in this world. The first, and most common type, is the type that is asleep at 4 in the morning. These people are commonly described as “normal” or “regular”. The second type are the type that get up at 4am and do something useful and productive. This people are commonly described as “insomniacs” or “a little bit bonkers”. This story is not about either of these types of people. This story is about the third type, a more adventurous type, known as Hillwalkers. The type of human that commonly decides to wake up at 4am to try to conquer some mountains; the type of human that looks at a blizzard and thinks, “Ohh, winter walking is coming!”.
This was the case on the 20th of February, when 12 of EUHWCs finest decided to venture out to try and summit some goliaths. However, the sagacious MWIS had warned of “Rather high winds” and “Low chance of cloud free Munros”, so our heroes decided to lower their expectations a little. Instead of waring with the mighty Munros, they would settle for smaller beasts, the oft under-estimated Corbetts.
Our group of 12 decided to split in two, one group to try and conquer Beinn Each, and the other Ben Ledi. Jan and myself were to lead 3 others up Beinn Each. The day started normal enough: a nice forest walk; the German talking his way out of doing any leading due to the rest of us “needing experience”; the ominous presence of a steep climb, and the effort entailed; some pretty terrible jokes; you know, the usual. Then the inevitable happened, we got to the mountain, and we started to ascend. At this point I remember thinking to myself, “What was MWIS on about? This is fine!”. Oh how wrong I was…
As we climbed higher, the wind began to gather its might, and slowly began its assault. At first only a whisper was heard, but soon it seemed as if Mother Earth herself roared in defiance of what we dared to attempt. The cloud soon descended upon us, plunging us into the mountain’s own realm, where its power is greatest. But in spite of the strength of the forces that opposed us, we fought on. Soon, we were each engaged in our own personal duels with the mountain. 67 Mai had no goggles, but pushed through, with ice blinding her every step. Soon, she was red eyed, red faced, and her hair was turning white, but she pushed on with the determination (read stubbornness) of something not of this world.
Jan was tasked with protecting the less experienced of our heroes from the worst of what assailed us: that thought that it would never end. He was frequently heard to bellow “Awake, arise or be forever fall’n!” over the hellish maelstrom.
I battled with the hell spawn only known as “Crap Visibility”, trying to find our way to the point of victory, the fabled summit. While many things barred our path, we found the safe path through the chaos of swirling white, through the jagged pinnacles of rock and hidden ice.
We soon reached the top, where Ben has his first encounter with the worst of the mountain’s spawn. A cornice. It was only through fast action (screaming at him) that Jan and myself saved him from getting too close to the beast and awakening its anger. And Donald? He fell on his arse.
Eventually, we defeated the mountain, and descended back to the valley, eager to meet with the other group. Had they finished their hill? Had they faced the same problems we had? No. they turned round after half an hour and sat in a café.
Daniel Jenkins
68 February Daytrip
There are two kinds of unforgettable walks: the ones with glorious weather, incredible views, the epics you start even before sunrise, the ones that make you feel alive, young and wild. And then there are walks that are exactly the opposite.
To say it right from the start, it was all Adam’s fault. Couldn’t our favourite astrologer have foreseen it in the stars? Evidence is strong that he did, as he was overheard muttering while loading the gear on the bus “Damn it’s an Arnold Clark, I will have to cycle all the way from Seafield tomorrow.”
But first things first, the start at 6:30 might have been the only thing that worked exactly the way as planned. When we arrived at our destination, it was rather grey and cold, however, having the last Loch Tay daytrip still in mind, some of us optimistically declared: “last time it was like that as well, and it was the best day ever!”
Splitting up in two groups showed that really nearly everyone wanted to do the longer option, so we set off with high hopes and in the best mood.
69 Next to masses of snow, which promised superb bum-sliding conditions, Colin’s brownies with a special secret ingredient (Adam, as a precaution, declared his cannabis allergy) definitely lifted our mood to such heights that some of us considered extending the walk to four Munros.
Stuart and Liz lead most of us towards Meall Corranaich, while Adam, Griffin, Colin and Chris headed towards Beinn Glas. It is not reported if they ever made it to the top, but as it was “going down very steeply to all sides of us, we decided that was the top”. There is nothing to add to such a logical conclusion. The conditions on Meall Corranaich were equally poor. We had definitely had better sight at this point, however, Stuart and Liz sensibly decided after a rather steep ascent that the avalanche risk was just too high, so that we turned around for an alternative plan. New destination: Ben Lawers.
Meeting up with the other group again, who came down from (maybe) the top of Beinn Glas, we walked through increasingly unpleasant conditions. To put it bluntly, everything that could freeze froze: Buffs, Ski goggles, hair, hats... To demonstrate how unpleasant it was, Even Stuart wore a hat. Need I say more? Eventually we reached the top, even though none of us can honestly say we saw Ben Lawers. Rosie made us proud by performing a spectacular ice-axe arrest when she fell and slipped down in the dubious white space around us.
Coming down, we eventually got the nice weather we had been waiting for: blue sky and a nice view of Loch Tay and Meall nan Tarmachan. Turning our backs on the hills, the weather played innocent, rewarding us with beautiful sunshine. How peacefully this day could have ended, after a nice walk in the sun, only occasionally interrupted by random snowball fights or people breaking hip deep through the ground. Shout out to Adam, who very impressively stopped a double attack by Mairi and me by just lifting us both up at once. 70
All the struggles from the hills were already forgotten when we got on the minibus, happily looking forward to a pint in a pub on the way home. The journey home turned out to take a bit longer than planned. To be precise, 6 hours longer than planned.
The minibus broke down not once, but twice, which led to a series of events: •us having the most elaborate dinner ever seen on a hillwalking trip •the mechanic coming and leaving, without ever fixing the bus as it miraculously worked as soon as he arrived... •... but broke down again as soon as we stopped for the first time •thirteen freezing people in a rather cold and damp minibus awaiting their end •us entering a pub for the third time of the evening •Adam furiously phoning •probably every person that might be remotely helpful •Colin phoning his mum to say goodbye •Adam disappearing when everyone else was in the pub (it was seriously feared that he had furiously run off to take his revenge on Arnold Clark immediately and with his bare hands (or with one of the ice axes) •a very chatty guy who finally picked us up and brought us back to Edinburgh, where we finally arrived at 00:30.
At this point a really big thank you to the organisers and walk leaders is due, who not only lead us safely through the walks (I for my part had no clue whatsoever where we were) and for organising our way back home. Thanks to you guys this trip is now one of the great stories we will never get tired of telling (except maybe for Adam, who still starts raging whenever he hears “Arnold Clark”).
Anne Bruder
71 Cannich Weekend
I promised good weather. No one signed up. AND IT WAS BEAUTIFUL. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Kyle Cooper: “Looks shit” John Mann: “Not jealous at all” Colin Irving: “I’m just going to delete my facebook and quit the club, I can’t deal with any of this anymore” Mhari MacDonald: “I hate you a little bit” Gregor Boyne “Fuck off Ed” Tim Peake – astronaut extraordinaire – even suggested it was brilliant weather for Munro bagging from his vantage point on the International Space Station. Top lad.
The club went into the three Glens that are accessible from Cannich; Glen Affric, Glen Strathfarrar and Glen Cannich. I was super chuffed because my bogey mountain/the one that got away/the bastard at the back Beinn Fionnlaidh was bagged on my 4th attempt. I also stabbed myself in the leg with my crampons, which was a bit sad. There were also some strange tracks on the mountain which I concluded was the rare Mountain Otter (If I were an Otter I would definitely do the sliding about on my belly thing from 3000ft. Would get me lots of Otter sex.) 72
Nick Carter from the MCofS did some brilliant work teaching us about mountain stuff. He was also very helpful when Monika O’Shea decided to go on a 15 hour walk (the Loch Mullardoch 4) on the coldest night of the year. Much panic was averted. THE HOSTEL HAS HOT SHOWERS NOW! (But the club isn’t going there next year. President is nuts).
Drumochters and Ben Wyvis were scaled on the way home. Other stuff happened too.
Edward Tissiman
73 Newtonmore/Laggan Weekend
11-13th March
In the past you may know, in the year books poetry’s been my thing, but this with work, I’ve really not had the time, to sit here and rhyme. No, no rhyming.
Back to point, the Newtonmore or Laggan trip as it ended up being, was an interesting one from my point of view in the build-up as meets secretary. A hostel that double booked, and then trouble contacting the new one made me a very stressful meet sec, so to finally arrival on the Friday night, and to settle into a comfy hostel was brilliant! My first trip since Ullapool, so fair to say I was excited!
The forecast looked good, and there was still snow on the ground, so having so far had trips where the weather was more suited to ducks, it’s fair to say I was looking forward to getting out in the hills.
On this trip we were lucky enough to have Nick come with us from St.John’s Scotland to run some winter skills training and avalanche awareness sessions, something I think we all came to gain a good deal from whether new to winter walking, or ,gnarled and worn with age and experience like Karl ;) 74 Whilst some groups set off to tick off Drummochters, or the Monadhliath Three. Along with John Mann, Monika and others, I happily set-off to potter up Geal Charn, a Munro I’d already accomplished with the fearless Mead (by which I mean wade unnecessarily through a river to later find out there was a bridge upstream). Terrible bagging I know to repeat, but perhaps there’s more to life…and it was a lovely walk.
Back to the hostel to compare stories of the day, and of course fight over the small number of showers, before we all settled down for dinner followed by a brilliant presentation by Nick, which everyone – myself included – I’m sure learnt a lot from. To get someone with Nick’s wealth experience coming on a trip to run training is fantastic enough, so for St. John’s to be paying for this to make the experience free for the club, is incredible and they deserve a lot of thanks for their initiative.
For most, Sunday meant a day most hillwalkers dread, a frightfully dull slog up the Drummochter munros. Though with the weather we had even these hills looked like a great day out, as they proved to be. With fantastic views I joined Karl in climbing A' Mharconaich and Geal-Charn (Yes another one), storming up the two peaks, and meeting Nick and his group at the second. We even saw some skiers, but considering the patchiness of the snow I still can’t decide if they were ambitious or daft.
All in all the weekend proved to be fantastic fun, especially after my personal stress in organising it, and was a fantastic break from working. It was great to be back with the club during my short sojourn in lovely Alloa. I look forward to being back to the fulltime next year, for one final year meandering round the highlands with you all, before graduating. Callum Girdwood
75 Gairloch Easter Trip st th 1 -4 April
So you’ve decided to go somewhere pretty and you’re having a hard time deciding where to go; well leave your musings behind you there is only one option, Torridon.
Some people may make the case for Assynt being prettier, or even that beauty is a subjective term uniquely defined by individuals in an intrinsically untranslatable way making all comparisons pointless. These people are wrong, it’s Torridon. As picture perfect as the mountain playground of Stac Pollaidh is, it can’t quite measure up to Liathatch and its “this is definitely high enough to kill me” drops. Again some people may say a mountains worth is not determined by its propensity for death and, again, these people would be wrong. And not that we’re baggers or anything, but look at the munro counts per area, Torridon all the way.
So with all that in mind, where do you think our annual Easter trip went this year? That’s right, Gairloch, a mere half hour drive from Toridon. With room for 30 (+1 extra) guests (and adequate parking for almost 4 of them), The Big Sands hostel was picturesque with plenty of great views and enough space on the inside to feel cosy without being cramped.
Jan: Why does Daniel need to see the bed list? Adam: So he can see his options for tonight 76 With a limited number of vehicles and widespread walks, our resident marauding gear sec quickly took years off his life organising transport for our first day of walking once again proving that the committee really do like mountains, so much so that we even make them out of mole hills. We’d all made it to the hostel reasonably early and despite MOing I even managed more than the standard 3 hours of sleep. The weather was looking good and all-in-all it was shaping up to be a grand day in the hills.
The group looking to tackle Liathach got to the foot of the mountain before saying “fuck that” (I may be paraphrasing slightly) and doing Beinn Alligin instead. John Mann began his 2 corbett walk which would go on to win the award for most epic this year (1700m ascent and not a munro to show for it).
Now that some other walks have been discussed and we’ve pretended to care about them, onto the best walk of the day, coincidentally my own, Beinn Eighe. There was a large group of us attempting the mighty massif, exactly what all walk leaders want, but we made good time even crossing the boulder field reasonably quickly.
77 I had a small personal realisation whilst crossing the boulders; I move through boulder fields quite quickly and whilst waiting for the group to catch up I figured out this was probably due to me never considering that I could fall and break my leg/ankle/ head/etc. and so I posit Simon’s Law of Boulder Field Traversing: “A powerful lack of imagination will save you a considerable amount of time.” It may not be a good rule, or a remotely safe one, but I stand by it.
After the boulders we went up an incredibly safe snow chute, I only had to self-arrest twice, and with Becky kicking steps we crested the ridge to what is commonly called one of the best views in Scotland. Maybe it’s the view itself, but I think it’s the combination of the steep sides of the chute that suddenly open out to a glorious panorama that really makes it something special. As you crest the ridge the mountain falls away from you leaving nothing but the hills in the distance, which on such a sunny day were plentiful. The summit provided another great photo opportunity and the ridge to the second munro flew by with some small sections of scrambling to keep us on our toes.
Now it’s time to discuss the highlight of the walk, maybe even the trip. The glissade, the bum slide, the poor man’s tobogganing, whatever you call it you can’t fail to enjoy it.
78 Coming off our second summit we found a run so unspeakably perfect ‘twas as though it had been carved by the almighty’s mighty cheeks himself. So flawless was this magnificent snowy slope that to give a description would be to put mortal limits on the divine and I will not reduce something so sublime for so shallow a reason. Talk with those who were there, you’ll see what I mean as their eyes glaze and they think back to that glorious moment and recalling such profound joy they cannot fail but to weep at the memory of so perfect a moment. As I careened head first down this wondrous snowy slide, riding my bag like God’s own sledge until I fell off and continued on in a flailing mess of ice axe and straps, I could only describe it as a religious experience.
With this section told I feel a strong desire to stop writing, to continue on now with the mundane events of the rest of the trip would be to diminish our experience but this is a recount of the events, not just the important ones, sooo…
On Saturday night, as promised, Becky baked a gloriously gooey batch of crème egg brownies that would go on to win her the club’s Michelin Star Award. On Sunday Adam led some Gullible walkers up Fionn Bheinn for “an Interesting Angle of the fannichs” (Spoiler: It’s not). I went up Slioch, it was good. There was an Easter egg hunt on Sunday night. Being one of the egg hiders I got to witness the total breakdown of society that occurred when the hillwalker horde was unleashed to search out eggs. 79 “Johnathan gets horny on the horns” – Imogen On Monday, a lot of people faffed; somehow some people hadn’t gotten the message that Fionn Bheinn is terrible so they did that, Adam and Siônyn deduced that getting back to Edinburgh from Gairloch had a natural path through Glen Coe and did Buchaille Etive Beag, I got most of the way up the corbett at the top of the Bealach Na Ba pass before mistaking a weather station for the top, turning round and going to the pub.
It was a great trip, but will be tainted by the knowledge that it would be the highlight of my bum sliding career. From here on life is meaningless and there’s nothing left to do but watch Netflix and run out the clock.
Simon Coffey
"The stress of treasurer might make Adam go balder even faster" – Jonathan 80 Invergarry Weekend
The last weekend trip before Skye was Invergarry! After convening at the CSE, we raced to the fish & chip shop, picked up some beers at the Co-Op, and zoomed up into the highlands -- listening to Fleetwood Mac and Daft Punk while admiring a truly beautiful sky.
Around 9pm, we arrived at the best hostel in the world, i.e. Saddle Mountain. There was endless tea and coffee in MASSIVE mugs, a lovely teal and red color scheme, a great lounge featuring sofas and bean bag chairs, and extremely comfy bunk beds. But the true highlight, hands-down, was the field of Highland Cows just outside the front door! Boy do I love those guys.
The next morning, the bat-shit crazy six munro group (guess who… Adam, Monica, Griffin, Arnaud, Harry, and Jan) set out hours before anyone else stirred. For the normal people, a nice drive past Loch Cluanie made for some smoldering views (trees, clouds, nature, and Donald)! 81
Saturday was a three munro walk -- we started out with the rounded rump, moved to a more exciting icy peak, and finally hiked out a bit to summit a rocky top! All in all, blissfully uneventful, a wee bit of crampon usage, and successful completion of Sgurr nan Conbhairean, Carn Ghluasaid and Sail Chaorainn (better known as Corn-in-your-hair, Lucozade, and Cha-cha-in-the-rain).
Important note: Arnaud REALLY outdid himself this trip… honestly, every night was a cocoa utopia laid across the table!
After all parties returned from great walks, exhausted (EVEN HARRY, which according to Mairi has never happened until this epic day) and hungry, a game of Kubb (i.e. Swedish wood chucking) commenced on the lawn, and preparation began for a delectable dinner -- hearty stew a la Chef Callum -- followed by some of the best Sticky Toffee Pudding I have ever had the privilege of stuffing into my mouth! (I may or may not have also had three more bowls for breakfast). Rumor has it that a game of Twister was played later on, but I was a granny and had PTFO’ed by 10PM (pathetic, I know!)
82 The next day had a lovely surprise in store: a superb weather forecast! Perhaps I am biased, but this meant that the cool kids who successfully summited Chno Dearg & Stob Coire Sgriodain were in for a treat with respect to the views! Not only did we see all the way to Glen Coe, but we even spotted the snow -capped Cairngorms… Adam was so excited that he removed all his clothes. Sunshine reminded us of forthcoming spring -- but we still got a bum slide!
No day can be truly great without some cow bonding. Luckily, we ran into this lovely herd nearby our parking in the Fersit area. A pitstop at some waterfalls & more jamming to a bit of 70’s disco carried us home!
Other Fun Facts: Harry slept in a tent, Mehmet led training, Karl found his dream car, and Callum found a smelly skull!
Alice Burgess
83 Photo Competition Winners
Landscape – Monika O’Shea
On the Hill - Ignacio Badilla Meléndez
Off the Hill - Karl
Looking Good – Alice Burgess
Extreme - Karl 84 End of Year Awards
Golden Boot Award: Which Fresher has shown the most enthusiasm this year?
Rosie Callan
All the gear but no idea: Who has the best, shiny new gear but no idea what to do with it?
Adam Carnall
Bagger of the year: Who goes out of their way to get that extra Munro?
Adam Carnall
Epic Award: Which walk this year was the most ridiculously long, gruelling and painful?
John Mann
Faffer of the year: for organising many faffs
Sionyn Ford
Michelin Star Award: for the tastiest meal
Becky Meacham
Glissade of the year: for the longest, most impressive bum slide
Simon Coffey
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