Being a Man Paultheroux

378 CHAPTER7 GENDER

drafts. In fact, [just mailed out a poem that’s gone thro eventeen its! Revision meant changing one word, ending differently,

ad i rnma. Iheres no room br sloppinc ii you have an

excess wo ything wrong in a poem,L ‘ evident as a false note in a musical piece. h prose, it’s Finish vhen I read it aLoudand it

sounds to me as Lwant sound t, iers. Then I let a couple ot other people read it, people tter I get their opinion, I either make the revisions or not a e d it out. It’s finished when I have reached my level of mcvi tence: I loo ‘t and look at it and cannot / think of anything eI do to it,

Follow-up

After yot read the interview,describe your own patterns as a write . 0 OU write at a specifictime of day?Do youneedutter quiet, or do youpreferw

W IUSiC Of conversationsin the hickgrnimnd?Do von read your work aloud t( irselfor share it with another person? When do you know you’relinished? Find a )uotation about writing that applies to (or inspires) you.

-Being a Man PAULTHERoUx

Paul Theroux (b. 1941) grew up in Massachusetts and graduated from the Univer sityof Massachusetts, but he has lived in and writtenabout Malawi and Uganda in Africa and about Singapore, among other places. fheroux has written numerous novels, including The Mosquito Coast (1981) and Or, Slaughter (1984), which were made into films.TheGreat Railway Bazaar (1975), a travel novel, became a best seller.Therouxdivides his time between Cape Cod and Hawaii, where he has taken up a second profession as a beekeeper. In he following essay, part of the collection Sunrise with Seamonsfers (1985), Therouxexamines society’sviews of masculinity.

here is a pathetic sentence in the chapter ‘Fetishisrn” in Dr. Norman Cameron’s 1)00k Personality Development anti Psychopathology. It goes, “I2etishists are nearly always men; and their commonest fetish is a woman’s shoe.” I cannot read that sentence without thinking that it is just one more awful thing about being a man — and perhaps it is an important thing to know about us. I have alwaysdisliked being a man, The whole idea of manhood in America is pitiful, in my opinion. This version of masculinity is a little like having to wear an illfitting coat ior ones entire life (by contrast, I imagine femininity to be an oppressive sense of nakedness). Even the expression “Be a man!” strikes me as insulting and abusive, It means: Be stupid, be unfeeling, obedient, soldierly and stop thinking. Man means “manly” — how can one think about men without considering the terrible ambition of manliness? And yet it is part of every man’s life. It is a hideous and crippling lie; it not only insists on difference and connives at superiority, it is also by its very nature destructive — emotionally damaging and socially harmful. Ihe youth who is subverted, as most are, into believing in the masculine ide 11is Jftetivdv separated from women and he spends the rest of his life finding women a riddle md a nuisance of course, there is a female version of this male affliction lt begins with mothers encouraging little girls to say (to other adults) Do you like my new dress?” In a sense, httle girls are tradition- illyurged to please adults with a kind of coquettishness, hi1e boys are enjoined to behave like monkeys towards each other The nme-year-old coquette pro ceeds to become womanish in a subtle power game in which she learns to be sex ually indispensable, socially decorative and always alert to a man’s sense of inadequacy Femininity * being lady-like — implies needing a man as witness and se ducer, but masculinity celebrates the exclusivecompany of men That is why it is so grotesque, and that is also why there is no manliness without inadequacy — because it denies men the natural friendship of women It is very hard to imagine any concept of manliness that does not belittle women, and it begins very early At an age when I wanted to meet girls — let’ssay the treacherous years of thirteen to sixteen — I was told to take up a sport, get more fresh air, join the Boy Scouts, and I was urged not to read so much It was the 1950s and if you asked too many questions about sex you were sent to camp — boy’s camp, of course the nightmare Nothing is more unnatural or prison-like than a boy’scamp, but if it were not for them we would have no Elks’ Lodges,no pool rooms, no boxing matches, no Marines And perhaps no sports as we know them Everyone is aware of how few in number are the athletes who behave like gentlemen Just as high school basketball teaches you how to be a poor loser,the manly attitude towards sports seems to be little more than a recipe for creating bad marriages, social misfits, moral degener ates, sadists, latent rapists and just plain louts I regard high school sports as a drug far worse than marijuana, and it is the reason that the averagetennis cham pion, say,is a pathetic oaf Any objective study would find the quest for manliness essentially right wing, puritanical, cowardly, neurotic and fueled largely by a fear of women It is also certainly philistine There is no book-hater like a Little League coach But indeed all the creative arts are obnoxious to the manly ideal, because at their best •T.

380 CHAPTER7 GENDER 1 the arts are pursued by uncompetitiveand essentiallysolitary people.It makesit very hard for a creativeyoungster,for any boy who expressesthe desire to be aloneseenisto be sayingthat there issomethingwrong with him. It ought to be dear by now that I have something of an objection to the waywe turn boys into men. It does not surprise me that when the Presidentof the United States has his customary weekend off he dresses like a cowboy—. it is both a measure of his insecurity and his willingnessto please. In many ways,Americanculture does little more for a man than prepare him for mod elingclothes in the L.L Beancatalogue.I take this as a personal insult because for many years I found it impossibleto admit to myself that I wanted to be a writer. It was my guilty secret,becausebeing a writer was incompatible with beinga man. There are people who might deny this, but that is because the American writer,typically,has beenso at painsto provehis manlinessthat we havecome to seeliterarinessand manlinessas mingledqualities.But first there wasa fearthat writingwasnot a manlyprofession— indeed,not a professionat all.(The para dox inAmericanlettersisthat it hasalwaysbeeneasierfor a woman to write and for a man to be published.)Growingup, I had thought of sports as wastefuland humiliating,and the ideaof manlinesswasa bore.Mywantingto becomea writer wasnot a (lightfrom that oppressiverole-playing,but I quicklysawthat it wasat odds with it. Everythingin stereotyped manliness goes against the life of the mind.The Hemingwaypersonalityis too tediousto go into here,and in anycase hisexertionsare well-known,but certainlyit wasnot until thisaberrant behavior wasexaminedby feministsin the L960sthat any male writer dared question the pugnacityin Hemingway’sfiction.Allthe bullfightingand arm wrestlingand dc phant shootingdiminishedHemingwayasa writer,but it isconsistentwitha pre vailingattitude in Americanwritinç one cannot be a male writer without first provingthat one isa man. It is normal in Americafor a man to be dismissiveor evensomewhatapolo getic about being a writer.Variousfactorsmake it easier.There is a heartiness about journalism that makesit acceptable— journalism is the manliest form of Americanwriting and, therefore,the professionthe most independent-minded womenseek(yes,it isan illusion,but that ismypoint). Fiction-writingisequated with a kind of dispirited failureand is only manly when it produces wealtha money is masculinity So is drinldng. Beinga drunkard is another assertion, if misplaced,of manliness.The Americanmale writer is traditionally proud of his heavydrinking. But weare also a veryliteral-minded people.A man proveshis manhood inAmericain old-fashionedways.Hekillslions,likeHemingway;or he hunts ducks, like NathanaelWest or he makespronouncements like,“A man should carry enough knife to defend himselfwith,”as JamesJonesonce said to a Lifeinterviewer.Or he sayshe can drink you under the table. But even tiny drunken WilliamFaulknerlovedto mount a horseand go foxhunting, and Jack Kercuac roistered un and down Manhattan in a lumberiack shirt (and soent p every night of ‘liarSultrrraawtans’with his mother in Queens).And weare famil— jar with the lengthsto whichNorman Mailer’isprepared,in hisendearingway,to provethat he isjust as much a monster as the next man. When the novelistJohn Irvingwasrevealedas a wrestler,peopletook him to be a very serious writer; and even a bubble reputation like Erich (LoveStory) Segal’swasenhanced by the news that he ran the marathon in a respectabletime. Howsurprised wewouldbe if JoyceCarolOateswererevealedas a sumo wrestler or Joan l)idion active in pumping iron. “Livesin NewYorkCity with her three children” is the typical woman writer’sbiographical note, for just as the male has achieved a L writer must prove he sort of muscular manhood, the woman writer — or rather her publicists— must proveher motherhood. There wouldbe no point in sayinganyof this ifit werenot generallyaccepted that to be a man is somehow — even now in feminist-influencedAmerica — a privilege.It ison the contrary an unmercifuland punishingburden. Beinga man is bad enough; being manly is appalling (in this sense, women’slib has done much more for men than for women).It isthe sinistersillinessof men’sfashions, and a clubbyattitude in the arts. It isthe subversionof good students.It is the so t called“DressCode”of the Ritz-Canton Hotel in Boston,and it isthe institution alizedcheatingin collegesports.It isthe most primitiveinsecurity; And this is alsowhy men often object to feminismbut are afraid to explain why:of course women have a justified grievance,but most men believe— and with reason — that their livesarejust as bad.

theText Exploring 1. What is the effectof the opening paragraph?Does it encourageyou to read on? Doesit provokeyou?Doesit intrigueyou? 2. So much of this essayconsistsof negativedescriptionsof what it means to Paul Theroux to be masculineor a man. Why does he offer such strong imagesand assertions? 3. Note the parentheticalcomments.What do theycontribute to the essay?Arethey t rhetoricallyeffective,or could theyhavebeen omitted? 4. HowdoesTheroux prepare his readersfor the turn theessaytakesin paragraph 12 when he says,“Therewould be no point in sayingany of this if it werenot gener ally acceptedthat to be a man is somehow— even now in feminist-influenced America— a privilege.”What doesthis revealabout Theroux’soverallpurpose in this piece?

‘TheSubterraneansisa 1960filmbasedon JackKerouac’snovelaboutthe lifestyleof 1950s Beats.—Eds. 2Nonnan MailerisanAmericanjournalistandnovelist— Eds. br

1 ‘(lilor

(

i’xt

Indexer: hirkt’tinc. ( Photo Cover

(

I’rintiig I’resident:

Editorial lrt Editor

Director / ‘rocliictwn Managing I

)cvt’lopnico

All

or transmitted

writing

Manufactured

[yr (o opy

over

ISBN-lU: ISBN-iS: )jretor

)irector 12 olnpo3ition:

which Acknowledgments

written It

lckiiorvledgnierits

“

1)iret Bedford/St.

17—

otherwise,

I)esigri:

rights

Bolton

uiforniatwn,

Editor: 13

:tr

a Research: l)esicn:

599—3000)

l;n

violation

constitute

of t: wr: and

by 1 of / of

thief: Director:

permission

PvIa

Joan

rsten

iiper1lsor:

[he

Editor:

reserved. 0-312-45094-X 978-0-312-45094-0 Congress

I)L’vclopinent:

bIitin, Marketing:

tot

the

)

Museum Iand,i

Patricia Lny

Binding:

tivi,

Strattord/lex

titic’t’r:

2008 I

Iatilor:

(

except

)onna

Publisher. E.

Mart

Karen

Kite

any

lelane

Editor:

write: 11 Kriknrian Feinberg

Shuli

the

Ni.

Denise an

Sew

Design,

the

form No in’s and I

Control

)an

>hela [ce

It)

extension and

Robertson No as It

Bedford/St. Andrew United S.

Karen

oce,

Prottas

the

law

Bedford/St.

Iraub

it part id

may

Irwin

copyrights

Frici

han

lenry

Art

)ennison

and Donneiley

Fech

Wydra

Melton

of Number:

States

by be Callery,

(

13.

reproduce

Do ‘F. Zucker lnsor )dell

Production:

this

expressly

any

Kitaj.

Appel

nough

the

Martin’s

Martin’s,

are

book

Soeitz

means,

holder.

& copyright lancashire,

America,

2007924372

Sons included

these

permitted

may

Marcia

electronic,

Company

Kitaj,

selections

page.

Arlington

reproduced, Cohen

courtesy,

the

hack the

mechanical,

Street,

applicable

any

Marlborough

stored

the

means

Boston,

book

photocopying,

whatsoever

retrieval

(;allerv,

pages

021

statutes

without

New

1015—1021,

system,

recording,

Yrk.

the