…Torah is acquired with 48 Elul Enrichment: qualities. These are:

Study, listening, Aug 12|Elul 1 – Study (Talmud) verbalizing, comprehension of the “Study is greater, for it leads to action.” (TB. Kiddushin 40b) heart, fear, awe, humility, joy, purity, serving the sages, bonding The Israelites heard the 10 commandments at Sinai on the Jewish holiday of Shavuot, but with friends, debating with th students, tranquility, study of text just 40 days later (on the 17 of the Hebrew month of Tammuz) the first set of stone tablets & context, minimizing engagement was smashed as a result of the sin of the golden calf. For another 40 days, Moses returned in business, minimizing superficial to the summit of Sinai pleading successfully with God on Israel’s behalf. With the beginning socialization, minimizing pleasure, of Elul, Moses again ascended for a final 40 days. There he was taught the thirteen minimizing sleep, minimizing talk, attributes of mercy (recited during the traditional Selichot liturgy), and obtained complete minimizing levity, slowness to Kapparah (atonement) for the Jewish people as manifest with the ‘renewal of vows’ anger, good heartedness, trust in embodied in the second set of tablets which Moses returned with on Yom Kippur (10th of the sages, acceptance of Tishrei). Since then, the period between the 1st of Elul and Yom Kippur has been a month of suffering, knowing one's place, Divine mercy and forgiveness. (See Rashi to Exodus 32:1 and 33:11) satisfaction with one's lot, qualifying one's words, not taking credit for oneself, likableness, love The human psyche, however, is one that finds dignity in earned accomplishments, and of God, love of humanity, love of undeserved forgiveness is capable of withering our self-worth. As our Rabbis teach (TB charity, love of justice, love of Makkot 23b), God, in wishing to give Israel opportunities for merit, gave us Torah and rebuke, fleeing from honor, lack of Mitzvot (commandments) in great measure. Elul, when God’s forgiveness and mercy is arrogance in learning, reluctance palpable, is the perfect time to ensure we are worthy of God’s compassion by doubling to hand down rulings, participating down on our efforts to self-improvement, becoming people worthy of such consideration. in the burden of one's fellow, judging him to the side of merit, The goal of this Elul Enrichment series is to embark on this path together. To accomplish correcting him, bringing him to a peaceful resolution [of his this, we will dive into the paths for acquiring Torah, the blueprint for life, focusing each day disputes], deliberation in study, on another of the pre-requisites for self-transformation found in the Mishna in Perkei Avot asking and answering, listening (6:6). and illuminating, learning in order to teach, learning in order to Through our shared learning of Torah (Talmud Torah), ideas for enhancing Jewish practice, observe, wising one's teacher, and questions and suggestions to improve our character and relationships, may we grow as exactness in conveying a people blessed to share in God’s majestic image. teaching, and saying something in the name of its speaker… B’Ahava (with love),

(Avot 6:6) Rabbi Mordechai Harris Director for the Center of Jewish Living and Learning Memphis Jewish Community Center

…Torah is acquired with 48 Elul Enrichment: qualities. These are:

Study, listening, Aug 13|Elul 2 – Listening (Shmiyat HaOzen) verbalizing, comprehension of the “Na’aseh V’Nishma – We will do, and we will hear.” (Exodus 24:7) heart, fear, awe, humility, joy, purity, serving the sages, bonding Between Elul 1 and Elul 28, Jewish custom is to sound the Shofar (typically after morning with friends, debating with services. And while the Shofar is not blown on Elul 29, this is done to allow a full day to pass students, tranquility, study of text & context, minimizing engagement without the sound of the Shofar prior to its prominent role on Rosh HaShana. in business, minimizing superficial socialization, minimizing pleasure, On Rosh HaShana the blowing will be preceded by a blessing, ‘who sanctified us with minimizing sleep, minimizing talk, Mitzvot (commandments), and commanded us to listen to the voice of the Shofar. But what minimizing levity, slowness to does this voice come to communicate? anger, good heartedness, trust in the sages, acceptance of A few classic answers: suffering, knowing one's place, satisfaction with one's lot, 1. Recalling the order of events we covered in yesterday’s Elul Enrichment, Moses’s qualifying one's words, not taking credit for oneself, likableness, love ascent up Mount Sinai was accompanied by the sounds of the Shofar. This Shofar was of God, love of humanity, love of communicating that Moses had been successful in turning God’s anger following the charity, love of justice, love of sin of the Golden Calf, and that God had embraced his Middot HaRachamim – God’s rebuke, fleeing from honor, lack of compassion and mercy. When we hear the Shofar, we are to understand that God is arrogance in learning, reluctance inviting us to seek a brighter future, and to put in the work necessary to become our to hand down rulings, participating best selves. It is that which gives us confidence that we can be better. in the burden of one's fellow, judging him to the side of merit, 2. “Will a Shofar be sounded in the city and the people not quake?” (Amos 3:6) – The correcting him, bringing him to a Shofar’s call reminds us of human fragility and finitude. It sounds the alarm that time is peaceful resolution [of his disputes], deliberation in study, fleeting, and that we must act with purpose, and not take our moments, and those in asking and answering, listening them, for granted. and illuminating, learning in order to teach, learning in order to 3. The Shofar harkens to the ram’s horn caught in the thicket during the binding of Isaac observe, wising one's teacher, (Akeidat Yitzchak). Are we able to hear our conscious to recognize those things in our exactness in conveying a lives which are deserving of ultimate sacrifice? Can we put our priorities in order, and teaching, and saying something in find meaning in both obligation and altruism? the name of its speaker… Listening is the skill we employ once we recognize value in something beyond ourselves. (Avot 6:6) Shema Yisrael – Hear O’ Israel – when we accept the yoke of God’s kingship (sounding the Shofar of God’s coronation), we practice the critical skill of stretching beyond our selves, giving us the tools to care for others as essential parts of God’s broader creation. …Torah is acquired with 48 qualities. These are: Elul Enrichment:

Study, listening, verbalizing, Aug 14|Elul 3 – Verbalizing (Arichat Sefatayim) comprehension of the heart, fear, “Death and Life are in the power of the tongue.” (Proverbs 18:21) awe, humility, joy, purity, serving the sages, bonding with friends, One of the celebrations in the backdrop of Rosh HaShana is the narrative of creation. Rosh debating with students, HaShana itself occurred on the 6th day of creation, the day upon which man was formed as tranquility, study of text & context, a creature from the dust of the earth and given the unique capacity for language, the very minimizing engagement in tool that God used in creating the word ( ex: “and God said let there be light, and there was business, minimizing superficial light”). socialization, minimizing pleasure, minimizing sleep, minimizing talk, The quality of Arichat Sefatayim, which while translated as verbalizing literally means minimizing levity, slowness to anger, good heartedness, trust in “arranged lips”, calls upon us to respect the great power of words, and to apply them with the sages, acceptance of intention rather than carelessness. In Hebrew, the term for words and things is identical suffering, knowing one's place, “Devarim”. Sticks and stones do break bones, but it is untrue that words cannot harm, they satisfaction with one's lot, carry force for good and evil every bit as real as any of our other actions. qualifying one's words, not taking credit for oneself, likableness, love The simple act of verbalizing our thoughts also carries practical ramifications. By saying of God, love of humanity, love of something aloud, we can often clarify our own ideas, crystalizing the foggy notions and charity, love of justice, love of conceptions rolling around in our heads. Doing so can help us introspect and determine if rebuke, fleeing from honor, lack of the courses of action we plan are indeed in line with the values and ideals we espouse. arrogance in learning, reluctance to hand down rulings, participating in the burden of one's fellow, As relayed in Psalms (34:13-14), “Who is the person who desires life, who loves days to see judging him to the side of merit, goodness? Guard your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceitfully.” Because correcting him, bringing him to a we love life, and because we desire to see good come of this world, we turn inwards and peaceful resolution [of his start with ourselves. We ensure that everything which emerges from our lips lines up with disputes], deliberation in study, our noblest aspirations, and that we have given thought prior to opening our mouths. asking and answering, listening and illuminating, learning in order to teach, learning in order to observe, wising one's teacher, As the soul is elevated, we become acutely aware of the tremendous exactness in conveying a power that lies in our faculty of speech. We recognize clearly the teaching, and saying something in tremendous significance of each utterance; the value of our prayers and the name of its speaker… blessings, the value of our Torah study and of all our discourse. We learn to perceive the overall impact of speech. We sense the change the the (Avot 6:6) great stirring of the world that comes about through speech. ~ Rabbi Abraham Isaac Kook …Torah is acquired with 48 qualities. These are: Elul Enrichment:

Study, listening, verbalizing, comprehension Aug 15|Elul 4 – Comprehension of the Heart (Binat HaLev) “I have given you a wise and understanding heart.” (I Kings 3:12) of the heart, fear, awe, humility, joy, purity, serving Most of us associate the heart with our emotional faculty. The Rabbis in the Mishna, the sages, bonding with friends, however, as well as those who first encountered scripture, associated the heart, not with debating with students, emotions, but with intellect – “the heart understands.” (TB. Brachot 61a) tranquility, study of text & context, minimizing engagement in business, minimizing superficial When speaking of the intellectual faculties, a few different Hebrew words are used, socialization, minimizing pleasure, Chachma (wisdom), Binah (understanding), and Da’at (knowledge). These words are not minimizing sleep, minimizing talk, interchangeable. When we recite the Amidah, the core of our daily prayers, we say: You minimizing levity, slowness to grant a person knowledge (Da’at) and teach humans understanding (Binah). Whereas anger, good heartedness, trust in knowledge can be simply acquired through transmission, understanding requires teaching. the sages, acceptance of Teachers know that there is much more to impart than content knowledge if education is to suffering, knowing one's place, be meaningful. Binah is that which is learned through perseverance and patience, through satisfaction with one's lot, being giving the opportunity to safely fail and to keep trying. It is the capacity for qualifying one's words, not taking credit for oneself, likableness, discernment that shapes our worldview while driving our empathy, and our resolve. It is love of God, love of humanity, what gives us resilience through the comprehension that setbacks are not dead ends. It is love of charity, love of justice, love that which gives our knowledge meaning. of rebuke, fleeing from honor, lack of arrogance in learning, As we run through life and encounter the inevitable struggles, curveballs, and challenges to reluctance to hand down rulings, our pre-conceptions, it is up to us to apply our “understanding of the heart” to put those participating in the burden of one's moments in their proper perspective. When we slow down our responses, reign in our fellow, judging him to the side of emotions to make way for conscientious decision making, and put the wealth of our own merit, correcting him, bringing him and our teacher’s life experiences as a filter for the present moment, we prime ourselves for to a peaceful resolution [of his disputes], deliberation in study, growth, and set ourselves up for success. asking and answering, listening and illuminating, learning in order During this time period, we must seek out those areas of our life where our actions are to teach, learning in order to driven out of impulse or thoughtless habituation. We must comprehend this fact, admitting observe, wising one's teacher, it to ourselves, and then, and only then, can we apply our hearts to ensure our deeds reflect exactness in conveying a our truest selves and intentions. teaching, and saying something in the name of its speaker… “And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” (Avot 6:6) ― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince …Torah is acquired with 48 Elul Enrichment: qualities. These are:

Study, listening, verbalizing, comprehension of the heart, Aug 16|Elul 5 – Fear (Eima) [ , awe, humility, joy, fear “Your heart shall meditate [in] fear; where is he who counts..?” (Isaiah 33:18) ] purity, serving the sages, bonding with friends, debating with No one wants to be afraid. Fear can be crippling, it can stop us in our tracks, and prevent us students, tranquility, study of text from taking important risks. Yet, fear is essential to survival. It is the flight in ‘fight or flight’ & context, minimizing engagement that ensures we do not engage in, or condone, behavior which could allow us and those we in business, minimizing superficial care for to come to harm. As relayed by Rabbi Chanania, the Deputy High Priest, in Avot socialization, minimizing pleasure, (3:2) – “Pray for the welfare of the government, for were it not for the fear of it, a person minimizing sleep, minimizing talk, would swallow his fellow alive.” minimizing levity, slowness to anger, good heartedness, trust in the sages, acceptance of “Fear of a King is like a lion’s roar; he who provokes him forfeits his life.” (Proverbs 20:2) suffering, knowing one's place, Eima (fear) is the natural concern we have for the consequences of our actions. It is the satisfaction with one's lot, checks and balances on our behavior, and applied judiciously it keeps our impulses from qualifying one's words, not taking taking actions we would later regret. The trick is to allow our fear of repercussions to credit for oneself, likableness, motivate us toward making better choices. love of God, love of humanity, love of charity, love of justice, love This is the very purpose of confronting our mortality and judgment during the High Holidays. of rebuke, fleeing from honor, lack It is not out of anger and retribution that God judges us and determines our fate. Rather, it of arrogance in learning, reluctance to hand down rulings, is out of paternal love, Avinu Malkeinu – Our Father, Our King - and the great faith that God participating in the burden of one's rests in us each day – B’Chemlah Rabba Emunatecha – that God holds us accountable fellow, judging him to the side of annually at this time of year. This process of confrontation and repentance provides us with merit, correcting him, bringing him a necessary framework for striving toward the Divine image contained within us all. With to a peaceful resolution [of his maturation, we eventually come to outgrowing the fear of punishment and instead come to disputes], deliberation in study, fear not living up to our potential. asking and answering, listening and illuminating, learning in order to teach, learning in order to Zusha, the great Chassidic master, lay crying on his deathbed. His students observe, wising one's teacher, asked him, "Rebbe, why are you so sad? After all the mitzvahs and good exactness in conveying a deeds you have done, you will surely get a great reward in heaven!" "I'm teaching, and saying something in afraid!" said Zusha. "Because when I get to heaven, I know God's not the name of its speaker… going to ask me 'Why weren't you more like Moses?' or 'Why weren't you more like King David?' But I'm afraid that God will ask 'Zusha, why weren't (Avot 6:6) you more like Zusha?' And then what will I say?!" …Torah is acquired with 48 Elul Enrichment: qualities. These are:

Study, listening, verbalizing, comprehension of the heart, fear, Aug 17|Elul 6 – Awe (Yirah) [ , humility, joy, purity, awe “The beginning of wisdom is awe of the Lord” (Proverbs 9:10) ] serving the sages, bonding with friends, debating with students, In the book of Deuteronomy (10:12), one of the few demands God makes upon us is to have tranquility, study of text & context, Yirah for God. Yirah, translated above as ‘awe’, is also often translated as ‘fear’ and minimizing engagement in sometimes as ‘reverence’. Yirah in its essence contains all three of these intense emotions business, minimizing superficial simultaneously. socialization, minimizing pleasure, minimizing sleep, minimizing talk, In contrast to yesterday’s quality of Eima (fear), Yirah does not concern itself with motivation minimizing levity, slowness to anger, good heartedness, trust in through fear of consequence. Rather, the very experience of Yirah itself motivates. Yirah is the sages, acceptance of that overwhelming sense that something greater than our self is worthy of and demanding of suffering, knowing one's place, our best possible response. The experience of Yirah turns us to our higher calling and gives us satisfaction with one's lot, the jolt we need to correct bad habits, examine our deeds, and rededicate ourselves to qualifying one's words, not taking deeper priorities. It is for this reason that “praiseworthy/happy is the person who has Yirah credit for oneself, likableness, for God”, such a person is oriented toward their greatest success. love of God, love of humanity, love of charity, love of justice, love Given that Yirah is an emotional response and not a cognitive function or concrete action, of rebuke, fleeing from honor, lack how does one plan for and/or create opportunities for Yirah? The first path is the easiest but of arrogance in learning, reluctance to hand down rulings, least enduring. It is to seek out moments of majesty where God’s greatness is evident to all participating in the burden of one's with little effort. This is the experience when looking out over the Grand Canyon, witnessing fellow, judging him to the side of a perfect solar eclipse, or meeting your first child. These moments are transcendent, merit, correcting him, bringing him inspiring, and without an anchor, fleeting. to a peaceful resolution [of his disputes], deliberation in study, Another path, the one of cultivating sensitivity to the miraculous nature of our everyday asking and answering, listening experience requires far greater effort. However, the dividends of developing an awed and illuminating, learning in order mindset provide the engine to continue placing forth our energies into the daily grind. This is to teach, learning in order to the very idea inherent in the system of daily blessings created by our early Rabbis, injecting observe, wising one's teacher, exactness in conveying a mindfulness into our habitual activities to awaken us to the greatness constantly present and teaching, and saying something in our unending obligations resulting from the gratitude of opportunity. the name of its speaker…

(Avot 6:6) The end of the matter, everything having been heard, have Yirah for God and keep God’s commandments, for this is the entirety of [what it means to be] human. ~ Ecclesiastes 12:13 …Torah is acquired with 48 Elul Enrichment: qualities. These are:

Study, listening, verbalizing, comprehension of the heart, fear, Aug 18|Elul 7 – Humility (Anavah) [ ] awe, humility, joy, “At the heel of humility comes awe of God, riches, honor, and life.” (Proverbs 22:4) purity, serving the sages, bonding with friends, debating with students, tranquility, study of text Humility and greatness are entwined. The Torah testifies that Moses, the greatest leader and & context, minimizing engagement prophet of all time, was the most humble person on the face of the earth (Numbers 12:3). in business, minimizing superficial When Rebbi, the author of the Mishna and leader of his generation, died, the Talmud (TB socialization, minimizing pleasure, Sota 49a) records that humility itself vanished with him. The Talmud (TB Megillah 31a) goes minimizing sleep, minimizing talk, so far as to share that wherever you find the greatness of God, there you find God’s humility. minimizing levity, slowness to anger, good heartedness, trust in the sages, acceptance of Clearly, humility does not correspond with any lack of competence. The opposite is the case; suffering, knowing one's place, humility is manifest in the confident and proactive application of one’s talents in this world satisfaction with one's lot, absent arrogance and boastful pride. As the Rambam comments (to Avot 2:13), “if a person qualifying one's words, not taking looks at their self as a lowly individual, they will not consider any [negative] act to be beneath credit for oneself, likableness, their dignity.” Low self-estimation is not humility, nor is withholding ones capacity to help love of God, love of humanity, others and leave positive impact. Humility acts as a call to responsibility. love of charity, love of justice, love of rebuke, fleeing from honor, lack Excessive pride, however, is equally deceiving and disabling. Not only does it often hurt our of arrogance in learning, reluctance to hand down rulings, relationships, it cripples our growth by convincing us we are already at potential. The humble participating in the burden of one's acknowledge the hard work and contributions of others who have helped shape them and fellow, judging him to the side of empower them. In doing so, they become convinced that they can continue to develop, merit, correcting him, bringing him mature, and reach new heights. to a peaceful resolution [of his disputes], deliberation in study, Practicing humility in the model of God, Moses, and our greatest teachers, is to ask ourselves asking and answering, listening earnestly what gifts we have to contribute to the world, and then to do so without prompt or and illuminating, learning in order need for recognition and out of simple gratitude for the unique role we get to play. to teach, learning in order to observe, wising one's teacher, One who is wealthy may rejoice in his lot, but at the same time he must exactness in conveying a help those in need. If one is strong, he must assist the weak and rescue the teaching, and saying something in oppressed. The situation is analogous to that of a household where there the name of its speaker… are different servants assigned to different tasks, and where each servant must fulfill their appointed task if the affairs and requirements of the (Avot 6:6) household are to be attended to. In truth, there is no place for pride here. ~ Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzatto – Path of the Just …Torah is acquired with 48 Elul Enrichment: qualities. These are:

Study, listening, verbalizing, comprehension of the heart, fear, Aug 19|Elul 8 – Joy (Simcha) [ ] awe, humility, joy, purity, “Serve God with joy…” (Psalms 100:2) serving the sages, bonding with friends, debating with students, tranquility, study of text & context, Most of us intuitively recognize the difference between joy (Simcha) and pleasure (Tanug). minimizing engagement in The latter is momentary gratification, a fleeting response to external stimulus that is not business, minimizing superficial concerned with effort or long-term consequence and sustainability. To this, Ecclesiastes (6:7) socialization, minimizing pleasure, relates: “whatever a man acquires will neither satisfy him nor make him happy.” minimizing sleep, minimizing talk, minimizing levity, slowness to anger, good heartedness, trust in Simcha, however, is best understood as that feeling triggered by the realization of the the sages, acceptance of enduring nature of an experience beyond any immediate impulse satisfaction. Simcha is to suffering, knowing one's place, be found accompanying ones consciousness of gratitude, accomplishment, connectedness, satisfaction with one's lot, and security. {This is the reason why Simcha is most embodied (and expressly commanded – qualifying one's words, not taking Deuteronomy 16:13-14) during the holiday of Sukkot, a celebratory festival of gratitude at credit for oneself, likableness, the conclusion of the harvest season which takes stock of our interconnectedness with our love of God, love of humanity, fellow Jews (the Lulav represents various Jews bound together) and all humankind (the love of charity, love of justice, love offerings brought in the Temple were on behalf of all the nations of the world), and exclaims of rebuke, fleeing from honor, lack our faith and dependence on Divine protection (though dwelling outside in the Sukkah).} of arrogance in learning, reluctance to hand down rulings, participating in the burden of one's Yet, Simcha is best viewed not as a reward or consequence of our actions, but as a critical fellow, judging him to the side of prerequisite to meaningful milestones in our personal development. “A person in a joyful merit, correcting him, bringing him mood can learn more in an hour than a depressed person can learn in many hours.” (Rabbi to a peaceful resolution [of his Chaim Volozhin, Ruach Chaim). Prophesy, uprightness, even welcoming the Divine Presence, disputes], deliberation in study, are all viewed in Jewish tradition as dependent upon Simcha. Before we can strive to greater asking and answering, listening heights, we must pause, reflect, and take stock of how far we’ve come. and illuminating, learning in order to teach, learning in order to Just as it is with a victory over a physical opponent; like in the case of two observe, wising one's teacher, people wrestling, each trying to throw down the other, if one of them is exactness in conveying a lazy and lethargic, he will be easily defeated and beaten, even if he is teaching, and saying something in stronger than his fellow. So, too, it is impossible to conquer the evil nature the name of its speaker… [hindering one's service of G‑d] with laziness and lethargy, which are (Avot 6:6) symptoms of sadness and a stone-like dullness of the heart. The only way to win is with alacrity, which derives from joy... ~ Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi (Tanya, Ch. 26) …Torah is acquired with 48 Elul Enrichment: qualities. These are:

Study, listening, verbalizing, comprehension of the heart, fear, Aug 20|Elul 9 – Purity (Tahara) [ ] awe, humility, joy, purity, “Create for me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” (Psalms 51:12) serving the sages, bonding with friends, debating with students, The Hebrew word Tahara (translated above as ‘purity’) has no direct parallel in English. tranquility, study of text & context, Common translations of ‘purity’ or ‘cleanliness’ often do more disservice than understanding. minimizing engagement in Perhaps this absence of accurate translation is what drives scripture to record “And My business, minimizing superficial people shall they teach the difference between holy and profane, and cause them to discern socialization, minimizing pleasure, minimizing sleep, minimizing talk, between the Tamei and the Tahor.” (Ezekiel 44:23) Indeed, the only option if we are to minimizing levity, slowness to grapple with understanding Tahara, is to view it both in context and in opposition to Tumah, anger, good heartedness, trust in its equally elusive opposite (usually translated as ‘impurity’). the sages, acceptance of suffering, knowing one's place, The practical implication of Tumah and Tahara is largely no longer present in the absence of satisfaction with one's lot, the Temple and its associated rituals in Jerusalem. However, during the times of the Temple, qualifying one's words, not taking one’s status as Tamei or Tahor held great significance. A person was only allowed to credit for oneself, likableness, participate in Temple ritual and Temple related communal gifting when they were Tahor. love of God, love of humanity, When they were Tamei, they would need to sit sidelined from these communal engagements love of charity, love of justice, love of rebuke, fleeing from honor, lack until such time had passed that they could follow the specific rituals (mostly immersion) of arrogance in learning, which would return their status to one of Tahara, at which point they could again participate reluctance to hand down rulings, in the communal world of the Temple. participating in the burden of one's fellow, judging him to the side of What emerges is that Tumah functions as a ‘time out’ from Jewish communal focus and merit, correcting him, bringing him participation, and becoming Tahor again is a way of calling ‘time in’. But unlike the words to a peaceful resolution [of his clean/unclean and pure/impure, Tumah and Tahara don’t carry the value judgments. The disputes], deliberation in study, triggers of Tumah include great moments and Mitzvot like birthing a child, and participating asking and answering, listening in the burial of the dead. These are not negative deeds, but they are experiences which and illuminating, learning in order to teach, learning in order to trigger psychological response and which take time to process before a person is fully ready observe, wising one's teacher, to reengage with the normal rhythm of communal life. This is human. exactness in conveying a teaching, and saying something in Yet, the goal of human existence cannot remain invested solely in the individual experience. the name of its speaker… Tumah is necessary, but our calling must be to find significance and rise to the challenge of Tahara, the daily grind of life lived in service of something greater than the self, which binds (Avot 6:6) us to the collective and thereby to God. Take the time for self-care, but then care for others.

“The expressions of the Lord are pure words…” (Psalms 12:7) …Torah is acquired with 48 qualities. These are: Elul Enrichment:

Study, listening, verbalizing, comprehension of the heart, fear, awe, humility, joy, purity, Aug 21|Elul 10 – Serving the Sages (Shimush Chachamim) [ serving the “Serving the Sages is greater than studying from them.” (TB Brachot 7b) ]

, bonding with The Talmud (TB Brachot 47b) relates, “if one studied the written and oral law but did not sages attend to Torah scholars, he is an ignoramus. It also shares that “a person who deprives their friends, debating with students, student from serving them has deprived their student from kindness [...] [and] fear of tranquility, study of text & context, heaven... (Kesuvos 96a) What is so critical about this service? minimizing engagement in business, minimizing superficial socialization, minimizing pleasure, Avot 1:6 offers the instruction “Asei - make for yourself a Rabbi (teacher)” but then shifts the minimizing sleep, minimizing talk, language to “Knei – acquire for yourself a friend. Diving into this disparity of language can minimizing levity, slowness to provide us the key to unlock our puzzle. anger, good heartedness, trust in the sages, acceptance of Kinyan (acquisition) is a legal term which describes an action performed by the mutual suffering, knowing one's place, consent of two people (ex: buyer and seller) who each have an interest in the outcome and a satisfaction with one's lot, right to walk away prior the closing of the deal. qualifying one's words, not taking credit for oneself, likableness, Asei (make) is a simple verb, but one which requires the proactive decision, efforts, and love of God, love of humanity, resources of at minimum a single individual. This means that the relationship it creates is love of charity, love of justice, love potentially unilateral. Unlike friendship, where it takes two to tango, a person can find a of rebuke, fleeing from honor, lack teacher without the consent, or even absent the knowledge, of their role model. of arrogance in learning, reluctance to hand down rulings, No matter how much a person wants another to stop emulating them, they cannot control participating in the burden of one's that dynamic. A child, for example, will inevitably pick up and learn many skills, habits, fellow, judging him to the side of merit, correcting him, bringing him mannerisms, and ideas from their parents and teachers; and sometimes those habits will be to a peaceful resolution [of his poor ones. This is why Avot wants this action of finding a teacher to be intentional. One disputes], deliberation in study, should seek to emulate the best and brightest of people – something Sages are meant to asking and answering, listening embody, and far more important than the book knowledge that they may be able to impart and illuminating, learning in order are the many subconscious things they will teach through their very being and modeling of to teach, learning in order to life lived meaningfully and morally. This kind of teaching, however, requires significant time observe, wising one's teacher, and exposure, the kind of enmeshed presence only possible through actively seeking to exactness in conveying a integrate oneself into the fabric of life outside the classroom. This is the idea of service; not teaching, and saying something in servitude, but sanctified time with those who can give us the “street smarts” of ethical living. the name of its speaker… Your house should be a gathering place for sages. Wrestle in the dust of (Avot 6:6) their feet and drink thirstily of their words. ~ Yossi ben Yoezer - Avot 1:4 …Torah is acquired with 48 qualities. These are: Elul Enrichment:

Study, listening, verbalizing, comprehension of the heart, fear, awe, humility, joy, purity, serving Aug 22|Elul 11 – Bonding with Friends (Dibuk Chaveirim) [ ] the sages, bonding “Acquire a friend for [every activity, mundane and holy].” (Avot D’Rebbe Natan 8) with friends, “Two are better than one, since they have good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his friend, but woe to the one who falls and has no second one to lift them up. debating with students, Moreover, if two lie down, they will have warmth, but how will one have warmth? And if a tranquility, study of text & context, minimizing engagement in man prevails against the one, the two will stand against them, and three stranded cord will business, minimizing superficial not quickly be broken.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12) socialization, minimizing pleasure, minimizing sleep, minimizing talk, While those words were, according to Talmudic tradition, composed by the wisest of all men, minimizing levity, slowness to King Solomon, it doesn’t take a genius to understand the practical benefits of cooperation. It anger, good heartedness, trust in does, however, take significant work to nurture friendship to the degree that it maximally the sages, acceptance of enriches our lives, providing not just additional manpower, but internal fortitude, meaningful suffering, knowing one's place, companionship, and digestible critique. satisfaction with one's lot, qualifying one's words, not taking credit for oneself, likableness, This last character of friendship, is perhaps the most critical if we wish to truly grow as love of God, love of humanity, individuals spiritually, morally, and even practically. “Rebuke a wise man and he will love love of charity, love of justice, love you.” (Proverbs 9:8) It takes the wisdom that comes with maturity to be able to appreciate of rebuke, fleeing from honor, lack and value critic even when it is directed at us by those we love. of arrogance in learning, reluctance to hand down rulings, One of the first observations made [by God] about the human condition is that “it is not good participating in the burden of one's for a person to be alone.” (Genesis 2:18) This is why God creates Eve to be Adam’s Ezer fellow, judging him to the side of K’negdo – a helpmate who opposes him. This opposition is not out of animosity but rather a merit, correcting him, bringing him to a peaceful resolution [of his challenge to his existing condition driven by her deep devotion, caring, and shared fortune. disputes], deliberation in study, The term Dibuk Chaveirim implies cleaving to our friends. No friendship embodies this shared asking and answering, listening destiny and love as much as the spousal one. “Therefore, a man shall leave his father and and illuminating, learning in order mother, and cleave (Davak) to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24) in to teach, learning in order to the ultimate expression of close friendship, the marital bond, where we can be bared naked, observe, wising one's teacher, exposing our truest selves to critique, and be unashamed. (Genesis 2:25) For we know that exactness in conveying a we are together invested in the processes of growth and self-actualization. teaching, and saying something in the name of its speaker… “Never be weary of making friends; consider a single enemy as one too many. If you have a faithful friend, hold fast to him. Let him not go, for he

(Avot 6:6) is a precious possession." ~ From the ethical will of Rabbi Asher ben Yechiel (“the Rosh”) …Torah is acquired with 48 qualities. These are: Elul Enrichment:

Study, listening, verbalizing, comprehension of the heart, fear, [ awe, humility, joy, purity, serving Aug 23|Elul 12 – Debating with Students (Pilpul Talmidim) ] the sages, bonding with friends, “Iron sharpens iron, and one person sharpens the wits of another.” (Proverbs 27:17) debating with To engage in study by oneself is to be caged within one’s own myopic understanding. As students, tranquility, Nietzsche expressed: ““One is always wrong, but with two, truth begins.” This is why emphasis in Jewish study has always been placed on learning with others. “Hearken and study of text & context, minimizing listen people of Israel, pair off into small groups and study Torah for the Torah can only be engagement in business, minimizing superficial acquired in a group.” (TB Brachot 63b) socialization, minimizing pleasure, minimizing sleep, minimizing talk, But not all forms of collective engagement are equal. In the Talmud Rabbi Chanina remarked: minimizing levity, slowness to “I have learned much from my teachers, more from my colleagues, and the most from my anger, good heartedness, trust in students.” (TB Ta’anit 7a) What is it about teaching students in particular that sharpens the the sages, acceptance of mind so effectively? suffering, knowing one's place, satisfaction with one's lot, Rav Nachman Bar Yitzchak (ibid) shares an insight: Why are the words of Torah likened to a qualifying one's words, not taking tree as it is said: “A tree of life for those who cling to it”? This is to teach you that just as a credit for oneself, likableness, love of God, love of humanity, small piece of wood ignites a large one so too it is with scholars, the younger ones sharpen love of charity, love of justice, love the minds of the older ones with their constant questioning.” of rebuke, fleeing from honor, lack of arrogance in learning, Questions are the essential tool of knowledge. Hillel taught in Avot (2:6): A shy person cannot reluctance to hand down rulings, learn [because they do not ask questions] and an overly strict person cannot teach [as their participating in the burden of one's students fear asking questions.] As adults, we often forget that we need to continue to ask fellow, judging him to the side of questions, unsatisfied with the developmentally appropriate answers of our earlier merit, correcting him, bringing him childhood, we must always strive to dig deeper. But we must also be cautious as the Maharal to a peaceful resolution [of his of Prague warns, someone who reaches a high level of wisdom can be diverted from asking disputes], deliberation in study, asking and answering, listening the simple questions that are the basis for ultimate clarity and continual growth. We must and illuminating, learning in order maintain our childlike curiosity and one way to do so effectively is by surrounding ourselves to teach, learning in order to with others who are in the passion of first encounter. observe, wising one's teacher, exactness in conveying a Elisha ben Abuya says: One who learns like a child, to what is he teaching, and saying something in compared? To ink written on new parchment. And one who learns as an the name of its speaker… elder, to what are they compared? To ink written on erased (used) parchment. (Avot 6:6) ~ Pirkei Avot 4:20 …Torah is acquired with 48 qualities. These are: Elul Enrichment:

Study, listening, verbalizing, comprehension of the heart, fear, awe, humility, joy, purity, serving Aug 24|Elul 13 – Tranquility (Yishuv) [ the sages, bonding with friends, “A person who has mastered tranquility of mind has gained everything.” ] debating with students, (Rabbi Simcha Zissel Ziv, the Alter of Kelm) tranquility, study The quality Yishuv is understood differently by the various commentators. The word itself of text & context, minimizing means dwelling, sitting, resting or perhaps returning. The two dominant understandings are engagement in business, to suggest that it refers to a.) Yeshiva – the word for the house of study, so named because of minimizing superficial the countless hours spent sitting in study; or b.) Yishuv HaDa’at – a tranquility of mind. socialization, minimizing pleasure, minimizing sleep, minimizing talk, While it is certainly true that sitting in study surrounded by other inspired individuals and minimizing levity, slowness to anger, good heartedness, trust in teachers can have a positive impact upon all of us (see Avot 2:7, increased Yeshiva [leads to] the sages, acceptance of increased wisdom], the second explanation (given by Rashi and many others) is far more suffering, knowing one's place, applicable to our current endeavor. satisfaction with one's lot, qualifying one's words, not taking If you ever regretted not sitting on an email before sending a heated response, or wished credit for oneself, likableness, you’d gotten that second opinion before deciding to move forward with surgery, then you love of God, love of humanity, know firsthand the cost one incurs from snap judgements. Being able to press pause in the love of charity, love of justice, love heat of the moment is a critical skill necessary for encountering the world in a mature of rebuke, fleeing from honor, lack fashion. It keeps us from being ruled by our impulses and emotions, and allows our decisions of arrogance in learning, reluctance to hand down rulings, to be driven from the rational faculty, the great gift we all possess as those created in God’s participating in the burden of one's image. fellow, judging him to the side of merit, correcting him, bringing him Yet, maintaining this equanimity is easier said than done. Rabbi Yitzchak captures this to a peaceful resolution [of his difficulty in Bereishit Rabbah (38:13) when he says: “In every place that you find settled-ness disputes], deliberation in study, (Yeshiva), [there] the Satan pounces.” Rav Chelbo similarly shares (ibid): “In every place asking and answering, listening where you find self-satisfaction, [there] the Satan accuses. We must be ever vigilant, as Freud and illuminating, learning in order would say, to ensure we let our Super-Ego control our decisions rather than our Id. to teach, learning in order to observe, wising one's teacher, The reason why the people of the world are distant from God and why exactness in conveying a they do not bring themselves closer to god, is only because they do not teaching, and saying something in the name of its speaker… have tranquility of mind and they do not think clearly about and come to terms with the question: ‘Of what real purpose and ultimate benefit are all (Avot 6:6) of the lusts and all the matters of this world; both the bodily lusts and the emotional and mental lusts, such as the lust for honor?’. - Rabbi Nachman of Breslov (Lekutei Mohoron II:10) …Torah is acquired with 48 qualities. These are: Elul Enrichment:

Study, listening, verbalizing, comprehension of the heart, fear, awe, humility, joy, purity, serving Aug 25|Elul 14 – Study of Text & Context (Mikra u’Mishna) [ the sages, bonding with friends, “Ben Hei-Hei used to say: According to the effort is the reward.” (Avot 5:26) ] debating with students, tranquility, study of There’s no avoiding the catch 22. You cannot ascribe meaning to text or activity without first possessing a core curriculum from which to draw the substance of analysis. Thus, prior to text & context, being able to ask “why”, one must first learn the “what”. Doing so, however, does not exempt you from the obligation to eventually ask “why”. minimizing engagement in business, minimizing superficial socialization, minimizing pleasure, This is the path of education set forward in Pirkei Avot (5:21). Beginning at age 5, one should minimizing sleep, minimizing talk, study Mikra – the core scriptural text often referred to as Torah Sh’B’Ktav – the written minimizing levity, slowness to Torah. This lays the foundation, and exposes one to the basic vocabulary of our traditions, anger, good heartedness, trust in but is insufficient on its own to fully encompass the range and detail of Jewish experience the sages, acceptance of and tradition. At age 10, following 5 years of obtaining the prerequisites, a child next suffering, knowing one's place, embarks on the study of Mishna – the oral traditions of our people eventually recorded in satisfaction with one's lot, textual form. These Mishnayot serve fill in gaps of context and detail relating to the laws qualifying one's words, not taking found in the Mikra. credit for oneself, likableness, love of God, love of humanity, love of charity, love of justice, love The final stage of study, Talmud, which Avot encourages only at the age of 15, a full 10 years of rebuke, fleeing from honor, lack after beginning the study of the text itself, and 5 years of engaging with inherited traditions of arrogance in learning, surrounding the text, is the act of empowered learning and meaning making. In the language reluctance to hand down rulings, of the Rambam, it is the act of “learning one thing from something else, and comparing participating in the burden of one's things”. This stage is where the reward of years of toil pays dividends in engaged fellow, judging him to the side of participation and passionate ownership of our collective traditions. merit, correcting him, bringing him to a peaceful resolution [of his As in study, every other area of life moves similarly. We must endure the learning curves, disputes], deliberation in study, asking and answering, listening build competence through practice, and put force effort over years into any activity for which and illuminating, learning in order we desire mastery. As we look to grow and perfect ourselves, the attributes of Mikra and to teach, learning in order to Mishna remind us to be willing to invest for the long term in the endeavors that matter to us observe, wising one's teacher, most. Whether in our relationships, our education, or our spiritual pursuits, there is simply exactness in conveying a no substitute for time and effort. teaching, and saying something in the name of its speaker… "Teach them diligently to your children; speak of them in your home and (Avot 6:6) on your way, when you lie down and when you rise up." (Deuteronomy 6:7) …Torah is acquired with 48 qualities. These are: Elul Enrichment: Study, listening, verbalizing, comprehension of the heart, fear, awe, humility, joy, purity, serving the sages, bonding with friends, Aug 26|Elul 15 – Minimizing Engagement in Business (Mi’ut Sechorah) [ debating with students, “Do not toil to gain wealth; Have the sense to desist.” (Proverbs 23:4) ] tranquility, study of text & context, Our jobs, with their demands on such a large portion of our time and attention, and, ideally, minimizing their own narrative of value and purpose, at times pose the greatest risk for derailing us from those very things that should rightfully demand our priority and attention. Rabbi Moshe engagement Chaim Luzzatto in his ethical treatise The Path of the Just (ch. 2) writes: in business, “In truth, this is one of the cunning strategies of the evil inclination, to constantly burden minimizing socialization, people's hearts with work so as to leave them no room to look and consider which road they minimizing pleasure, minimizing sleep, minimizing talk, minimizing are taking. […]This is similar to the wicked Pharaoh's advice saying "intensify the men's gaiety, slowness to anger, good labor.” (Exodus 5:9). His intention was to leave them no time whatsoever to oppose him or heartedness, faith in the sages, plot against him. He strove to confound their hearts of all reflection by means of the constant, acceptance of suffering, knowing incessant labor.” one's place, satisfaction with one's lot, qualifying one's words, Such work/life imbalance is nothing new. When 2 ½ tribes approached Moses to ask for a not taking credit for oneself, portion of land on the eastern side of the Jordan river, they said: “We will build here likableness, love of God, love of sheepfolds for our flocks and town for our children.” (Numbers 32:16) Rashi, the classic humanity, love of charity, love of commentator on Bible and Talmud, immediately brings Midrashic chastisement: justice, love of rebuke, fleeing from honor, lack of arrogance in learning, reluctance to hand down “They paid more regard to their property than to their sons and daughters, because they rulings, participating in the burden mentioned their cattle before their children. Moses said to them, ‘Not so! Make the chief of one's fellow, judging him to the thing the chief thing and what is subordinate subordinate. First build cities for your little ones side of merit, correcting him, and afterwards enclosures for your flocks’” (Rashi, ibid, based upon Midrash Tanchuma) bringing him to a peaceful resolution [of his disputes], Moses, who issues this chastisement in the Midrash, knows a thing or two about the deliberation in study, asking and devastating effect work can have on family. His father in law, Yitro, at one point steps in to answering, listening and try to prevent burnout, saying: “The thing that you are doing is not good. You will surely wear illuminating, learning in order to teach, learning in order to away, both you, and this people that is with you.” (Exodus 18:17) Each of us must take stock observe, wising one's teacher, to ensure we maintain the delicate balance between our jobs and our deeper responsibilities. exactness in conveying a teaching, and saying something in There are eight things that in large quantities are difficult [on a person] the name of its speaker… but in small quantities are beneficial, namely: travelling, the 'way of the world' [i.e. sex], wealth, work, wine, sleep, hot baths, and bloodletting [i.e. (Avot 6:6) medicine]. (TB Gitten 70a) …Torah is acquired with 48 qualities. These are: Elul Enrichment: Study, listening, verbalizing, comprehension of the heart, fear, awe, humility, joy, purity, serving Aug 27|Elul 16 – Minimizing Superficial Socialization (Mi’ut Derech Eretz) the sages, bonding with friends, [ “Give me a Chavruta (a deep relationship formed through shared study), or give me death!” debating with students, ] tranquility, study of text & context, (Choni HaM’agel – TB Taanit 23a) minimizing engagement in Derech Eretz (literally, the ‘way of the land’) is typically understood as the most basic business, minimizing guidelines for human interaction. It’s the manners and responsibilities which should drive a superficial healthy society, and indeed, it is so important that the Rabbis coined the phrase Derech Eretz Kadma L’Torah – Derech Eretz comes before [even] Torah. It’s the prerequisite to any socialization, attempt at reaching human perfection. minimizing pleasure, minimizing sleep, minimizing talk, minimizing As such, it can seem very strange at first to see the Mishna in Avot call for its moderation. gaiety, slowness to anger, good Yet, this quality suggests exactly that. Too much Derech Eretz can lead us astray. The heartedness, faith in the sages, question is, ‘how’. acceptance of suffering, knowing one's place, satisfaction with Given that Derech Eretz can mean so many disparate things throughout Rabbbinic literature one's lot, qualifying one's words, (social etiquette and good manners, refined character and sensitivity toward others, earning not taking credit for oneself, a living, contributing to society, environmental consciousness, and even copulation as likableness, love of God, love of humanity, love of charity, love of practiced by animals), the key to our understanding is to seek out the common denominator. justice, love of rebuke, fleeing What immerges is a picture whereby Derech Eretz is the universal baseline for all productive from honor, lack of arrogance in activity and thus absent the depth and uniqueness needs to establish true intimacy and close learning, reluctance to hand down bonds. Simply put, spend too much time in safety of shallow waters and you will never know rulings, participating in the burden the joys that come from developing ourselves through assuming the risks of the deep end. of one's fellow, judging him to the side of merit, correcting him, In an era of Facebook and other forms of social media, where it has become so simple to bringing him to a peaceful enjoy the company of many ‘friends’ and project perfect lives, it has never been more resolution [of his disputes], important to remember our need to unplug, to connect offline and in real life with people deliberation in study, asking and answering, listening and who are invested in us because we are invested in them. Dunbar’s number suggests that illuminating, learning in order to people can only comfortably maintain about 150 stable relationships, and that close inner teach, learning in order to circle relationships – the kind necessary to maintain mental health, max out between four observe, wising one's teacher, and five people. Yes, we must engage the breadth of the world with baseline respect, but we exactness in conveying a must ensure that we save the wealth of our resources for the select few with whom we enjoy teaching, and saying something in synergy in growth and aspirations. the name of its speaker… If you grasp at many, you [will ultimately] grasp nothing; If you grasp at (Avot 6:6) [but a few] you will [successfully] grasp. (TB Yome 80a) …Torah is acquired with 48 qualities. These are: Elul Enrichment: Study, listening, verbalizing, comprehension of the heart, fear, awe, humility, joy, purity, serving [ the sages, bonding with friends, Aug 28|Elul 17 – Minimizing Pleasure (Mi’ut Ta’anug) ] debating with students, “The righteous person eats to sate his soul” (Pesikta D’Rav Kahana 6:58) tranquility, study of text & context, minimizing engagement in Do we live to eat, or eat to live? This prompt is understood in Jewish literature as a question business, minimizing superficial of emphasis and not a zero sum choice. Indeed, while ultimately we eat in order to live, the socialization, Talmud Yerushalmi records that God will hold us accountable for every permitted thing that minimizing our eyes beheld but which we (sanctimoniously) chose not to eat (Kiddushin 4:12). Rabbi Shimshon Raphael Hirsch, in an oft reported quote, seemingly paraphrased this: “When I , minimizing shall stand before God, the Eternal One will ask me with pride: ‘Did you see my Alps?’” pleasure Pleasure is even enshrined in religious law, codified, for example, in the obligations of sleep, minimizing talk, minimizing Shabbat (Oneg Shabbat) and within the bounds of a healthy marriage (Mitzvat Onah). gaiety, slowness to anger, good heartedness, faith in the sages, God, then, is certainly not against pleasure, but neither does God endorse it as an end unto acceptance of suffering, knowing itself. Our sages convey that upholding ritual and moral obligations, doing what one is one's place, satisfaction with one's lot, qualifying one's words, required, is the path only to righteousness. Holiness, however, comes through pious striving not taking credit for oneself, to live beyond the baseline. (As my Rosh Yeshiva used to drill into us, “Halacha – Jewish law - likableness, love of God, love of is a floor and not a ceiling.”) For those seeking to live up to this higher standard, the Talmud humanity, love of charity, love of teaches: “Sanctify yourself [by abstaining] from what is permitted to you" (Yevamot 20a). justice, love of rebuke, fleeing Within the space where you have legal choice to participate, there you can choose to be holy. from honor, lack of arrogance in learning, reluctance to hand down Yet, “there is [good] Separation which we are commanded in and there is [bad] Separation rulings, participating in the burden which we are warned not to stumble in. This is what king Shlomo said (Kohelet 7:16): ‘do not of one's fellow, judging him to the be overly righteous.’” (Mesilat Yisharim Ch. 13). What’s the difference then between good side of merit, correcting him, and bad abstention? The Rambam provides us with an answer. (Spoiler, it’s moderation): bringing him to a peaceful resolution [of his disputes], A person might say, "Since envy, desire, [the pursuit] of honor, and the like, are deliberation in study, asking and a wrong path and drive a person from the world, I shall separate from them to answering, listening and a very great degree and move away from them to the opposite extreme." For illuminating, learning in order to example, he will not eat meat, nor drink wine, nor live in a pleasant home, nor teach, learning in order to observe, wising one's teacher, wear fine clothing, but instead [wear] sackcloth and coarse wool and the like - exactness in conveying a just as the pagan priests do. […] Whoever follows this path is called a sinner teaching, and saying something in [as implied by Numbers 6:11's] statement concerning a Nazarite: "and he [the the name of its speaker… priest] shall make an atonement for him, for his having sinned regarding [his] soul." Our sages declared: If the Nazarite who [completely] abstained only from (Avot 6:6) wine requires atonement, how much more so does one who [completely] abstains from everything. (Mishna Torah - Ch. 3 of Hilchot De’ot) …Torah is acquired with 48 qualities. These are: Elul Enrichment:

Study, listening, verbalizing, comprehension of the heart, fear, awe, humility, joy, purity, serving [ the sages, bonding with friends, Aug 29|Elul 18 – Minimizing Sleep (Mi’ut Shaynah) debating with students, The door is turning upon its hinges, And the sluggard is still upon his bed. (Proverbs 26:14) ] tranquility, study of text & context, minimizing engagement in There is nothing evil about sleep. Rather it is necessary for human survival and proper mental business, minimizing superficial function that we each obtain enough sleep on an ongoing basis. The Rambam determines socialization, minimizing pleasure, that, as a matter of Jewish law, “if a person sleeps in order to allow his mind and body to rest so that he should not become sick and unable to serve God because of illness, in this case his minimizing very sleep is service of God.” (Hilchot De’ot 3:3) Sleep,then, is a demonstrably good thing. sleep, minimizing talk, Yet, sleep comes with an opportunity cost. Rabbi Dosa ben Harkinus captured this succinctly minimizing gaiety, slowness to in Avot (3:10) when he shared that sleeping in late “removes a person from the world”. You anger, good heartedness, faith in simply cannot be productive while you are unconscious, and to someone looking to grow as a the sages, acceptance of person, missed opportunities for practice, self-improvement, and self-conscious suffering, knowing one's place, introspection are, at best, unwelcome. satisfaction with one's lot, qualifying one's words, not taking credit for oneself, likableness, Whether he knew it or not, Bon Jovi’s lyric “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” has Talmudic origins. love of God, love of humanity, When asked by his daughter whether he’d like to sleep a little more than his habit, Rav love of charity, love of justice, love Chisda replied “there will soon come days that are long [in duration] and short [in of rebuke, fleeing from honor, lack opportunity] (i.e. the days of the grave), and we shall have time to sleep a lot then.” (TB. of arrogance in learning, Eiruvin 65a) reluctance to hand down rulings, participating in the burden of one's This sentiment is not limited to sleep, and applies broadly to all innocuous time wasting fellow, judging him to the side of activities we encounter. In Rabbinic parlance, this is referred to Batalah – nullified time. It’s merit, correcting him, bringing him to a peaceful resolution [of his not evil in substance, but in effect it removes the opportunity to do good. So, while we all disputes], deliberation in study, need our down time to stay sane and function, we should also be sure to cap our indulgences asking and answering, listening to the point of necessity. As the Baer Heitev (1:6) acknowledges, the correct amount of sleep and illuminating, learning in order is a subjective measure and some people may need more than others. It is not for others to to teach, learning in order to judge our needs for rest and relaxation, but we certainly should take stock and remain observe, wising one's teacher, vigilant. exactness in conveying a teaching, and saying something in “O lazy one, how long will you lie [there]; when will you get up from your the name of its speaker… sleep? A little more sleep, a little more slumber, a little more of hugging

(Avot 6:6) yourself in bed; And your poverty shall come like a fast walker, and your want as an armed man.” (Proverbs 6:9) …Torah is acquired with 48 qualities. These are: Elul Enrichment: Study, listening, verbalizing, comprehension of the heart, fear, awe, humility, joy, purity, serving [ the sages, bonding with friends, Aug 30|Elul 19 – Minimizing Talk (Mi’ut Sicah) ] debating with students, tranquility, study of text & context, Silence is a protective fence for wisdom. (Rabbi Akiva - Avot 3:13) minimizing engagement in business, minimizing superficial In the spirit of this quality, I’ll let the texts speak for themselves: socialization, minimizing pleasure, minimizing sleep, There is a time to be silent and a time to speak. (Ecclesiastes 3:7) minimizing A wise man does not speak before one who is greater than him in wisdom or age. He does not interrupt his fellow's words, and is not impulsive in talk, minimizing gaiety, answering. His questions are on the subject and his answers to the point. He slowness to anger, good speaks to the first [point] first and the last [point] last; and about that which heartedness, faith in the sages, he has not heard [anything], says, "I have not heard [anything]". He concedes acceptance of suffering, knowing to the truth. (Avot 5:7) one's place, satisfaction with one's lot, qualifying one's words, You don’t need to tell a wise person to be quiet. (Derech Eretz Zuta 7) not taking credit for oneself, likableness, love of God, love of humanity, love of charity, love of In a multitude of words, transgression will not be avoided, and he who holds justice, love of rebuke, fleeing back his lips is wise. (Proverbs 10:19) from honor, lack of arrogance in learning, reluctance to hand down One should always cultivate silence and refrain from speaking, except with rulings, participating in the burden regard to matters of knowledge or things that are necessary for his physical of one's fellow, judging him to the welfare. […]One should not speak at length even about matters involving side of merit, correcting him, one's physical needs. On this point, our Sages commanded us and said: bringing him to a peaceful "Whoever speaks at length brings on sin." They also said: "I have found resolution [of his disputes], nothing better for one's person than silence." Similarly, when speaking about deliberation in study, asking and answering, listening and matters of Torah or knowledge, one's words should be brief, but rich in illuminating, learning in order to content. […] In contrast, if one's words are many and the content scant, that teach, learning in order to is foolishness, […] Therefore, one should not hasten to answer, nor speak at observe, wising one's teacher, length. He should teach his students in calm and tranquility without shouting exactness in conveying a or wordiness. (Rambam, Hilchot Deot 2:4-5) teaching, and saying something in the name of its speaker… A knowledgeable man is sparing with his words; A man of understanding is reticent. Even a fool, if he keeps silent, is deemed wise; Intelligent, if he seals (Avot 6:6) his lips. (Proverbs 17:27-28) …Torah is acquired with 48 qualities. These are: Elul Enrichment:

Study, listening, verbalizing, comprehension of the heart, fear, awe, humility, joy, purity, serving [ the sages, bonding with friends, Aug 31|Elul 20 – Minimizing Levity (Mi’ut Sechok) debating with students, Vexation is better than levity; for though the face be sad, the heart may be glad. {For empty ] tranquility, study of text & context, revelry precludes real happiness – JPS} (Ecclesiastes 7:3) minimizing engagement in business, minimizing superficial King Solomon, the wisest of all men, is traditionally ascribed as the author of the book of socialization, minimizing pleasure, Kohellet (Ecclesiastes). There (3:4) he records that there is a time for laughter, but, by minimizing sleep, minimizing talk, implication, there are times when laughter is uncalled for. Levity has its place, but also its limitations. Understanding when laughter is appropriate and even helpful, and when it is minimizing counterproductive to circumstance is a critical skill to practice and perfect. levity, slowness to anger, This is perhaps what is captured in the ambiguous way in which King Solomon describes good heartedness, faith in the levity (Ecclesiastes 2:2), “of levity, I said it is Meholal”. The world Meholal is ambiguous in sages, acceptance of suffering, meaning. On the one hand, most of the classic commentators understand it to mean that it is knowing one's place, satisfaction foolish, or at best a mixed bag. On the other hand, the word Meholal appears to come from with one's lot, qualifying one's the word Hallel, meaning praise. words, not taking credit for oneself, likableness, love of God, The Talmud (TB Shabbat 30b) understands this verse in both contexts. In explaining how the love of humanity, love of charity, verse can maintain both contradictory meanings, it shares that some laughter truly is folly, love of justice, love of rebuke, namely that which does not add enduring value (the vain laughter of the wicked in this fleeing from honor, lack of world), while other laughter bares its fruit among the righteous in the world to come. arrogance in learning, reluctance to hand down rulings, participating The first type of laughter is that mentioned by Rabbi Akiva (Avot 3:13), “joking and in the burden of one's fellow, judging him to the side of merit, lightheartedness acclimate toward promiscuity.” Laughter used improperly can blur correcting him, bringing him to a boundaries, divert us from the task of addressing underlying tensions, foster acrimony peaceful resolution [of his through cynicism, or simply distract us from focusing on the people and activities that matter disputes], deliberation in study, to us most. “A Chaver… (literally a friend, but in context – someone who makes extra efforts asking and answering, listening to act scrupulously) [seeks to abstain] from unrestrained levity” (Mishna, Demai 2:3). and illuminating, learning in order to teach, learning in order to The latter type of laughter is the kind employed by Rabbah (Pesachim 117a) as he sought to observe, wising one's teacher, teach his students. Prior to each lesson, he would open with a joke, priming the students for exactness in conveying a learning by ensuring good spirits, focused attention, and relatable comfort with the teacher. teaching, and saying something in the name of its speaker… "There are men who suffer terrible distress and are unable to tell what they feel in their hearts, and they go their way and suffer and suffer. But if they (Avot 6:6) meet one with a laughing face, he can revive them with his joy. And to revive someone is no slight thing." (Rebbi Nachman of Breslov) …Torah is acquired with 48 qualities. These are: Elul Enrichment:

Study, listening, verbalizing, comprehension of the heart, fear, [ awe, humility, joy, purity, serving the sages, bonding with friends, Sep 1|Elul 21 – Slowness to Anger (Erech Apayim) ] debating with students, "Be not quick to anger, for anger lodges in the bosom of fools!" (Ecclesiastes 7,9) tranquility, study of text & context, minimizing engagement in The repetitive chorus heard in the synagogue during the Selichot recited around the High business, minimizing superficial Holidays includes the 13 attributes of mercy that God embodies. One of those qualities is socialization, minimizing pleasure, Slowness to Anger (Exodus 34:6). We should constantly seek to emulate this in fulfillment of minimizing sleep, minimizing talk, the dicta to “walk in God’s ways” (Deuteronomy 28:9). However, because of a firm belief minimizing levity, that God treats us “measure for measure”, we are even more vigilant of our own anger this time of year. slowness to The hard work we put into being less short fused and more patient with others doesn’t only anger, good heartedness, pay dividends for all those spared from our scorn. We too reap the benefits. The Talmud faith in the sages, acceptance of already captures the personal costs of anger. “Any man who becomes enraged, if he is wise suffering, knowing one's place, he loses his wisdom, and if he is a prophet he loses his prophecy” (TB Pesachim 66b). Anger satisfaction with one's lot, clouds our thinking, and prevents us from making reasoned decisions. Our shortness with qualifying one's words, not taking others also makes us unpleasant to be around, as Bar Kafra shares: “there is nothing left for credit for oneself, likableness, the angry person except his anger” (TB Kiddushin 41a). love of God, love of humanity, love of charity, love of justice, love Furthermore, it staves off opportunities for growth by shutting down our most critical circles of rebuke, fleeing from honor, lack for self-assessment, the mirrors we find in trusted friends and family. “An angry person of arrogance in learning, reluctance to hand down rulings, cannot learn or accept constructive criticism because nobody will be willing to reveal his participating in the burden of one's failings out of fear for his fury. Even if someone will rebuke him, he will not accept the fellow, judging him to the side of rebuke, out of his anger” (Orchot Tzaddikim, Gate 12). merit, correcting him, bringing him to a peaceful resolution [of his The Rambam, despite his general preference for moderating all behavior and making disputes], deliberation in study, appropriate space even for those traits we commonly think of as negative (like sadness), asking and answering, listening nevertheless has no tolerance for anger. He writes: and illuminating, learning in order to teach, learning in order to Anger is an extremely negative character trait, and it is fitting for a person to distance himself observe, wising one's teacher, from it to the opposite extreme. One should train oneself never to become angry, even exactness in conveying a regarding things for which anger might be justified. […] Those who frequently become angry teaching, and saying something in have no quality of life... (Rambam, Hilchot De’ot 2:3) the name of its speaker… Better to be slow in anger than mighty [in physical power]; to have self- (Avot 6:6) control than to conquer a city. (Proverbs 17:32) …Torah is acquired with 48 qualities. These are: Elul Enrichment:

Study, listening, verbalizing, comprehension of the heart, fear, awe, humility, joy, purity, serving [ the sages, bonding with friends, Sep 2|Elul 22 – Good Heartedness (Leiv Tov) debating with students, "A good heart is a feast without end." (Proverbs 15:15) ] tranquility, study of text & context, minimizing engagement in There are many great suggestions for living a good life. Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakkai famously business, minimizing superficial sent out his top students to discover the best path, and discovered that indeed good socialization, minimizing pleasure, heartedness is the ultimate quality for through it all others are encompassed. minimizing sleep, minimizing talk, minimizing levity, slowness to He [Rabban Yochanan ben Zakkai] said to them: Go out and see what is a anger, straight path that a person should cling to. Rabbi Eliezer says: A good eye. good Rabbi Yehoshua says: A good friend. Rabbi Yosi says: A good neighbor. Rabbi Shimon says: Seeing the consequences of one's actions. Rabbi Elazar says: A , heartedness good heart. He said to them: I see the words of Rabbi Elazar ben Arakh [as faith in the sages, acceptance of better than] all of yours, because your words are included in his. (Avot 2:10) suffering, knowing one's place, satisfaction with one's lot, qualifying one's words, not taking But, what exactly constitutes a good heart? The Sefer HaChinuch explains: credit for oneself, likableness, There is nothing as good for a man as good and pure thought, as it is the love of God, love of humanity, love of charity, love of justice, love beginning of all actions, and their end. And this is apparently the matter of of rebuke, fleeing from honor, lack 'good heartedness'. (Sefer HaChinuch 416:2) of arrogance in learning, reluctance to hand down rulings, Thoughts are not sufficient on their own, but they are the precursors to all good action. Good participating in the burden of one's thoughts undoubtedly lead to good deeds. Therefore, it is important to change the course of fellow, judging him to the side of our thinking generally to ensure that we are prepared to rise to any occasion and act in that merit, correcting him, bringing him moment for good. The Ramban, commenting on God testing Abraham in Genesis (22:2), to a peaceful resolution [of his shares that the reason God tests people with challenges is to allow them to manifest their disputes], deliberation in study, best intentions “to bring out the thing from ability to actuality, giving a reward for a good asking and answering, listening and illuminating, learning in order action and not just a reward for a good heart.” Yet, the implication is clear that there are to teach, learning in order to rewards even for simply having that good heart. Even if we are never be called to action, God observe, wising one's teacher, is referred to as Bochein Levavot – the discerner of hearts, our good intentions are not for exactness in conveying a naught. teaching, and saying something in the name of its speaker… A person is called ‘good hearted’ when their whole intention is to do good for others by personal service, by money, or advice, and with all their power, but (Avot 6:6) without meanwhile bringing suffering or disgrace upon themself. (Rambam, Shmonah Perakim 4:2) …Torah is acquired with 48 qualities. These are: Elul Enrichment:

Study, listening, verbalizing, comprehension of the heart, fear, awe, humility, joy, purity, serving Sep 3|Elul 23 – Trust in the Sages (Emunat Chachamim) the sages, bonding with friends, "Through trust in the sages comes success." (Sefer HaMidot, Success 1:19) [ debating with students, ] tranquility, study of text & context, minimizing engagement in We all start out needing to learn from somebody, and as small children we natively get this. business, minimizing superficial Young children do not often object to receiving instruction for how to do things, nor to socialization, minimizing pleasure, learning new explanations for things they thought they understood previously. Moreover, minimizing sleep, minimizing talk, while no one likes being wrong, children included, they are generally much better at minimizing levity, slowness to changing course with limited resistance when they are shown a better way. anger, good heartedness, However, at some stage in our lives we become locked in. We reach a point where we either trust in the decide we know it already, or worse, we conclude it’s beyond our grasp to know. At that point, we need more than ever to find a way to recapture childhood adoration for the , acceptance of sages wisdom inherent in our leaders and teachers. We need to find ways to again trust that there suffering, knowing one's place, are sages who can guide us. satisfaction with one's lot, qualifying one's words, not taking The first challenge is figuring out who we can turn to. Who is considered a Chacham (a sage). credit for oneself, likableness, The Ba’er Hetev (OC 571:2) suggests that anyone whose teachings have a proven track record love of God, love of humanity, of trustworthiness is considered a Talmid Chacham. Such people are those that the Torah love of charity, love of justice, love directs us: “Do not stray from the word that they declare to you, right or left” (Deuteronomy of rebuke, fleeing from honor, lack of arrogance in learning, 17:11), to which Rashi adds: “even if they tell you your right is your left and your left is your reluctance to hand down rulings, right.” To have faith in the sages, means willingness to suspend preexisting conceptions, and participating in the burden of one's willingness to admit the potential fallibility of the student. fellow, judging him to the side of merit, correcting him, bringing him Yet to this, there are also limits. Rav Dessler (Michtav me’Eliyahu, 4:269) limits trusting sages to a peaceful resolution [of his by teaching that the principle does imply infallibility of the teacher. One can still challenge disputes], deliberation in study, and question, but with humility and intention to discover truth, open to the fact that to err is asking and answering, listening human, and teach and student both share such disposition. Rabbi Lipschitz, known as the and illuminating, learning in order Tiferes Yisrael, says bluntly that trusting everything one hears blindly is the way of the to teach, learning in order to gullible who believe everything, but when it is from a trusted source, we give benefit of the observe, wising one's teacher, doubt even when we don’t completely grasp the arguments. (Yachin commentary to Avot exactness in conveying a teaching, and saying something in 6:89) Such should always be our approach - trusting while striving to verify; not out of mistrust, but for the sake of our own growth through personal understanding. the name of its speaker…

(Avot 6:6) Worthless man! If you had not seen, you would not have believed. (TB Bava Batra 75a) …Torah is acquired with 48 qualities. These are: Elul Enrichment: Study, listening, verbalizing, comprehension of the heart, fear, awe, humility, joy, purity, serving the sages, bonding with friends, Sep 4|Elul 24 – Acceptance of Suffering (Kabalat HaYisurin) [ debating with students, "Fortunate is the person whom You [God] discipline..." (Psalms 94:12) ] tranquility, study of text & context, minimizing engagement in Yisurin translates at times as ‘suffering’ and at other times as ‘discipline’. The particular business, minimizing superficial meaning in context thus matters greatly, for our response must follow appropriately. socialization, minimizing pleasure, minimizing sleep, minimizing talk, The Talmud has a discussion as to whether we must assume fault when bad things happen to minimizing levity, slowness to us. Rav Ami (TB Shabbat 55a) posits that indeed, there is no such thing as death without sin anger, good heartedness, trust in and suffering without iniquity. As such, when life confronts us harshly, our only option is to the sages, conclude we are at fault, and to struggle introspectively to uproot the cause of our calamity, express our remorse (Vidui), and resolve to do better moving forward (Teshuva). This is the acceptance path Rava (some say Rav Chisda) set’s out in Brachot (TB 5a): “If a person sees that suffering has befallen him, he should examine his actions.” of suffering, This exercise is indeed an important one, encompassing a large mindshare during the High knowing one's place, satisfaction with one's lot, qualifying one's Holiday season. Framed in this manner, hardship is instructive. Afflictions are due to God’s words, not taking credit for love (TB Brachot 5a-b) and are reformative, not retributive. They are surmountable catalysts oneself, likableness, love of God, for growth, and when gifted with the perspective of time, we may even learn to be grateful love of humanity, love of charity, for those growing pains. “Bear in mind that the Lord your God disciplines you just as a man love of justice, love of rebuke, disciplines his son.” (Deuteronomy 8:5) “For whom the Lord loves, He rebukes, as a father fleeing from honor, lack of the son whom he favors.” (Proverbs 3:12) arrogance in learning, reluctance to hand down rulings, participating However, this Talmudic debate concludes: “indeed there are times when death comes in the burden of one's fellow, without sin and suffering without iniquity” (TB Shabbat 55b). Not all traumas we endure are judging him to the side of merit, purposeful. Sometimes, life really is painful. In such space, our response cannot be to beat correcting him, bringing him to a ourselves up, but rather must be to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and keep striving. peaceful resolution [of his disputes], deliberation in study, How can we know the difference between fluke and providence? Bluntly, absent the asking and answering, listening prophetic voice, we simply cannot. “We have no comprehension of the tranquility of the and illuminating, learning in order wicked, nor of the suffering of the righteous” (Avot 4:15). Due to this fact, our behavior when to teach, learning in order to confronting life’s challenges is best served by focusing not on the question of “why,” but on observe, wising one's teacher, the question of “what’s next.” For ourselves, we should resolve to take bold steps toward our exactness in conveying a better selves, at which point introspection is a useful tool. Yet, both for ourselves, and teaching, and saying something in especially toward others, the burden of crippling guilt must never be imposed. We don’t ask the name of its speaker… if they deserve their pain, but extend our hand (and our ears) to mitigate their discomfort. (Avot 6:6) Our only directive is clear:

“Do not stand idly by the blood of our fellow” (Leviticus 19:16). …Torah is acquired with 48 qualities. These are: Elul Enrichment:

Study, listening, verbalizing, comprehension of the heart, fear, [ awe, humility, joy, purity, serving Sep 5|Elul 25 – Knowing One’s Place (Makir Et Mekomo) ] the sages, bonding with friends, "The place on which YOU stand is holy ground..." (Exodus 3:5) debating with students, tranquility, study of text & context, Most of us have heard the expression “Do not judge your fellow until you’ve come to their minimizing engagement in place” (Avot 2:4). With practice we are able to understand that each person faces unique business, minimizing superficial socialization, minimizing pleasure, challenges, and that they respond to those challenges with a their own mixture of inborn minimizing sleep, minimizing talk, attributes, learned behaviors, and available resources. Less of us have realized that we minimizing levity, slowness to should also abstain from judging ourselves (at least in terms of our potential) until we’ve anger, good heartedness, trust in reached our “place”. the sages, acceptance of Implied in all this is that we have a “place” in the grand scheme, and indeed there is “no suffering, knowing person who does not have their hour, and no thing that does not have its place” (Avot 4:3). But, finding that place is a challenge in itself. one's place, We are exhorted to “know from where you came, and to where you are going.” Avot (3:1) satisfaction with one's lot, explains the former - “from a putrid drop” (a reference to our biological origins), and the qualifying one's words, not taking latter - “to a place of dust, worms, and maggots” (a reference to the grave and with it the credit for oneself, likableness, end of our biological life). In doing so, it paints a picture that our place is only constant in love of God, love of humanity, span outside our early lives, but within them – apparently there is not just one place for us to love of charity, love of justice, love occupy. Indeed, this is why Jewish law is referred to as Halacha – the way to GO. Stasis is the of rebuke, fleeing from honor, lack arch rival of Torah life, stagnation prevents you from traversing the Derech Eitz HaChayim – of arrogance in learning, the path to the tree of life. reluctance to hand down rulings, participating in the burden of one's As such, there is not one place that we must occupy, but rather we strive to be in the right fellow, judging him to the side of place at the right time. One way to do this is captured in Avot 2:5, “in a place without people, merit, correcting him, bringing him strive to be a person.” When we notice needs in this world that are not being addressed by to a peaceful resolution [of his others, and which we have the tools to address, then it is our obligation to stand in that place disputes], deliberation in study, at that moment. asking and answering, listening and illuminating, learning in order When we are charged with knowing our place, really, we are being charged with heading a to teach, learning in order to calling to the time at hand. Seeing our unique opportunities to bring good into this world, observe, wising one's teacher, and doing so. As the Tifferet Yisrael comments (Yachin to Avot 6:6), knowing our place does exactness in conveying a not mean questioning our capability, it means having enough humility to tap wisdom and teaching, and saying something in thereby know when the mandate has fallen upon us to claim our place in the moment. the name of its speaker…

…and even if all the winds in the world come and blow against it, they cannot (Avot 6:6) move it from its place, rather, it sways with them until the winds subside… (TB Taanit 20a)