Not so straight? so Not You’re Not Alone Info for lesbian, gay, bi, trans,* intersex, queer and questioning young people. What’s in this booklet?

Getting started 1-2 Got questions? 3-6 Myths & Facts 7-8 Sexual Diversity 9-12 Diverse Sex & Gender 13-14 Being a Trans* Ally 15 Famous LGBTIQ Peeps! 17-18 Coming Out 19-22 Healthy Relationships 23-24 You’re Not Alone Mental Health 25-26 Looking after yourself & staying safe 27-28 Produced by the WA AIDS Council’s Freedom Centre Adapted from the Original You’re Not Alone booklet produced by the Your Rights & the Law 29-30 WA AIDS Council’s Here For Life Youth Sexuality Project Team in 1997. This version updated and rewritten in 2012 by Dani Wright and Freedom Culture & Religion 31-32 Centre staff, volunteers and visitors. Designed by Nadine Toussaint. Useful Terms 33-34 Thanks to all the young people at Freedom Centre for Services and more info 35-36 providing feedback, quotes and artwork. What is the Freedom Centre? Back c WA AIDS Council’s Freedom Centre, 2012. Not to be reprinted or Back reproduced without permission. Contact [email protected]. 3 Things to remember... You’re not alone

When reading through this book, Getting started... there are three things to keep in mind:

It can be tough growing up in a ª It’s OK to be attracted to someone world that seems to revolve of the same sex, or to feel like your around being attracted to the gender isn’t what we’re told to oposite sex, or a world that expect. assumes that your physical sex represents your entire gender ª Sexuality, sex and gender aren’t identity. just black and white. These are the natural facts of human diversity. No wonder when people start to question their sexuality and/or ª You’re not alone – support is out gender identity, life can get rather there. Thousands of others have confusing and complicated. been through this and many more

are questioning their sexuality or gender right now!

Who do you turn to? What information do you need? It takes time to know who you are. Where can you go? Are these feelings OK? It’s OK to question your sexuality or gender, it’s OK to be unsure and it’s OK Everyone who helped make this book has had these feelings and to take your time. You have taken a big experiences and we know it can be a lot to get your head around. step just by opening this book. We hope this book helps you out and gives you some useful info and support to get you started. Feel proud of yourself Useful terms and def initions and trust your feelings.

Reading through this booklet you might come across words or terms you’ve never heard before. Check out the Useful Terms in this book or go to the glossary at www.freedom.org.au. 4 5 1 2 Am I the only one with these feelings? Being young and different can be the same sex like a great teacher hard, but everyone is different in or a friend’s older sibling. Your There are thousands of people who feel attracted some way. Your sexuality and your closest relationship may be your to others of the same sex. There are also many who gender are just awesome parts of best friend of the same sex. But have a gender identity that differs from their physical who you are! none of that necessarily means sex. We live across the nation and worldwide, and are a you’re gay, lesbian or bisexual. part of every culture’s history. You are not the only one! I think I might be gay, lesbian, or bisexual but what if I don’t One or two sexual experiences Why do I feel attracted to people of my own sex? know for sure? with someone of the same sex, may not mean you’re gay, This is a really common question. It’s interesting that You’ll know when you know. It lesbian or bisexual either – just people don’t ask “Why am I attracted to people of the could take a while, and there’s no as one or two sexual experiences opposite sex?” The answer is the same to both of these need to rush. with someone of the opposite questions. Whether it’s genetics, the environment we’re sex may not mean you’re raised in, or a combination of many things, it doesn’t Some gay, lesbian or bi people say exclusively heterosexual. You do really matter! What matters is that we all have the ability to that from the time they were very not need to be sexually active feel comfortable and safe being ourselves, and we trust and young they “felt different”. They with other people to recognise or respect our feelings. had crushes on same sex friends - understand your sexuality. and no one seemed to be talking Is it natural to be gay, lesbian, trans or bisexual? about it. Often it took a while to Your feelings and your emotional put a name to their feelings – to and physical attractions will begin to think of themselves as help tell you who you are. Yes! The Australian Psychological gay, lesbian, or bisexual. But when Your sexuality often becomes Society states that being gay, lesbian, they started thinking in those words, clearer over time. Don’t worry or bisexual is as natural as being it made sense – it fitted in with the if you aren’t sure. Being young heterosexual. They also say that it feelings they had growing up. is a time of figuring out what is not possible to force someone to works for you and strong feelings change their sexuality through any Many people don’t begin to and exploration are often part psychological or medical means. discover their sexual attraction of that. In time, you’ll find that

Got a few Questions? until much later into adulthood and you’re drawn mostly to men or to Gender diversity is natural too!! We it can be just as confusing then. women or to all people, and you’ll live in a world that often fears and At some point, almost everybody know then. You don’t have to label questions difference. This is the reason gets a “crush” on someone of yourself today or ever. for racism, sexism and other forms of discrimination. But difference and diversity is part of being alive – even Be very honest with yourself. Who do you love? Who could you love? I did a animals are sexually, sex and gender lot of reading before I realised it about myself. diverse! - Adam, 21 6 7 3 “ ” I guess it is hard to know. You’ve I’m questioning my gender If I don’t f it the stereotypes, am I still LGBTIQ? just got to go with your gut feeling, but the ‘opposite sex’ it’s generally right. - Sam, 17 doesn’t f it either - is that all there is? LGBTIQ people are young and Transgender and transsexual * old, Asian, Aboriginal, European, people may not identify with the I think I might be Trans or the It’s not – sex and gender are not African and from every other sex or gender they were born opposite sex to the one I was black and white. There are many nationality, religion and culture. with. This has to do with the assigned at birth; but what if I people whose gender and sex They may be deaf, or use a feeling of not being born into don’t know for sure? don’t fit neatly into the two boxes wheelchair. They are construction the right physical body or feeling of “male” and “female.” workers, teachers, doctors, vets, uncomfortable with how people It’s OK to take time figuring students, secretaries, business treat you because of your gender. out who you are. Being trans* Physically, about 1 or 2 in 100 people, police officers, politicians (transsexual and/or transgender) people are intersex – with sex and athletes. People whose sense of their “or not identifying as the sex you characteristics that aren’t simply gender isn’t simply ‘guy’ or were assigned is most importantly male or female. There are people Stereotypes exist because of ‘girl’ sometimes identify as about how” you feel comfortable whose gender identity and sense of ignorance and a lack of diversity genderqueer, pangender, or identifying and being. It’s not about their sex don’t sit neatly into one of in mainstream representations of genderfluid. Questioning your what someone else thinks you are two boxes either. LGBTIQ people. In reality, same-sex gender is a very real issue, but or what you have been told to be. attracted and transgender does not necessarily have people are as diverse and varied anything to do with sexuality or Many people don’t feel they as our heterosexual and sexual orientation (see page 13 fit the gender role and stereotypes cisgender (not transgender) peers. for more information on sex and for their gender, but some people gender diversity). also feel the sex of their body Some people fit stereotypes, doesn’t fit right for them and some don’t. Trust your feelings that they would feel right as the and be yourself. opposite sex. The medical term for I don’t seem to fit into any Many of the stereotypes and this is ‘Gender Dysphoria’, which stereotypes, but that is okay. If misunderstandings are because has its pros and cons. people don’t approve of me not people often mix up sexuality fitting in, it is their problem, and if and gender. We sometimes hear people think I’m not gay because that gay men want to be women Some labels people use to I don’t fit a stereotype, well I guess and lesbians want to be men or that describe their gender and sex are; I’ll have to start a new stereotype you can tell someone’s gay because transgender, transsexual, gender- all for myself! queer, bigender, androgyne, of how they dress and act. This is pangender, neuter, intersex and confusing sexuality with issues - Leah, 18 many more! about gender and expression. 8 9 5 “ ” 6 Myth: Gay men and lesbians don’t have long term Myth: LGBTIQ people don’t have Myth: Being Intersex is a relationships. kids. disorder or disability. Fact: Same-sex, long term relationships are not rare at Fact: Many LGBTIQ people are Fact: Intersex is a normal part of all but are often not as visible to the community. parents. They may choose to human diversity – just like red hair, Check out couples stories at The Commitment Project have children by adoption, green eyes or being tall or short. www.thecommitmentproject.net fostering, co-parenting or artificial Intersex people are often treated insemination. They may also have differently and without being Myth: Bisexuals just can’t make up their mind. had children in a heterosexual informed of their options by the relationship earlier in life. There medical field, but this is Fact: The point is they have! Sexuality ranges from are many options for becoming unwarranted. Many people may not exclusively gay and exclusively heterosexual, and many a parent. know that they are intersex. people are somewhere in between. Everyone has a right to choose their identity! Myth: Trans* people who don’t have surgery aren’t really trans*. Myth: Lesbians don’t get Sexually Transmissible Infections (STIs). Fact: There are lots of trans* people who don’t get surgery. Fact: Lesbians are diverse, practice a wide range of sexual This can be for a number of

Myths & Facts activities and can get STIs. Some STIs can be transmitted by reasons including not wanting skin-to-skin contact. to or being medically unable to have surgical interventions, not Myth: All gay men have anal sex. being able to afford surgery, or Fact: Many animal species surgery not being available where (including many fish, frogs, Fact: Gay men are diverse, and have preferences they live. It doesn’t mean they’re lizards and birds) have three for their sexual practises just like anyone else. Some practise not trans*, just that they haven’t or more genders that change anal sex, some do not. had surgery. over their life time! Myth: All gay men get HIV/AIDS. Myth: Transsexuals are just gay people who want to be “normal” Fact: HIV is not a gay men’s disease. No virus is smart enough straight people. to be able to tell what a person’s sexuality is. It is the safety of the activities that a person practises that may put them at Fact: Some people are gay and risk of HIV infection. trans*! Sexuality (who we are attracted to and have relationships with) is different from sex and Fact: Homosexuality is present in over 300 species, gender (our bodies, gender but homophobia is only present in ONE! expression and sense of ourselves.) 10 11 7 Not as simple as Gay or Straight! Sexual Diversity & the ‘FBI’ model

Some people are attracted to the same sex and ask if this means they’re gay. It’s important to remember Getting your head around sexual diversity and figuring out what’s right for that sexual diversity is not as simplistic as we’re told. you can be pretty difficult. The FBI Model can be helpful for understanding Our identity or what we call ourselves (gay, bi, straight that diverse sexuality is not black and white but a whole spectrum of colours. etc) is something we get to choose. On the other hand, It breaks sexuality down into three aspects: we can’t choose who we are attracted to, but we can decide what we do in response to those attractions. It all depends on what feels right for us at the time. Feelings & Fantasies The way you feel now and who you are attracted to might This is about who you are attracted to and have change over time. That’s ok! F= romantic and sexual feelings and desires about. Gay: people whose sexual Lesbian: women whose and romantic feelings are sexual and romantic feelings mainly for the same sex are mainly for other women Behaviour and who identify with those and who identify with those This is all about who you’re with. Of course you don’t feelings. Both men and feelings. need to have been sexually active with anyone to know women identify as gay, B= your feelings. however it more often refers Bisexual or Bi: people whose Sexual Diversity to men. sexual and romantic feelings are for both men and women Queer: an umbrella term and who identify with these Identity used to refer to the LGBTIQ feelings. This means what word or label you use to describe your community. Some people sexuality. Not everyone likes labels though. in the LGBTIQ community Pansexual: Refers to people I = prefer not to use this whose sexual and romantic term as the history of feelings are for all genders, the word had negative or exist regardless of gender; Everyone is different and can be at a different part of each spectrum in the connotations.These days, the this rejects the gender binary FBI Model. This can also change at different times of people’s lives. Check term has been embraced of male/female and supports out Nicky’s example on the next page! and is more about pride the idea that there are more and inclusivity. Many people than only two genders or also use it as a label to gender identities. ‘Pan’ means describe their sexuality. ‘all’.

12 13 9 10 Sexual Diversity & the ‘FBI’ model Five years later Nicky has had a couple more boyfriends and two girlfriends and is now with Jacquie. They have been together for a year and are about to move in together. She still fantasises about guys and girls that she’s Nicky has a boyfriend who she’s been with for 6 months. She loves him attracted to and now prefers to call herself queer. but has started to become attracted more to girls. She’s been fantasising about both her boyfriend and some of the girls she’s been attracted to. Nicky has started to identify as bisexual but doesn’t want to break up with her boyfriend. Feelings & Fantasies (who they’re attracted to)

Feelings & Fantasies same opposite (who they’re attracted to) sex sex

opposite same Behaviour sex sex (who they’re with)

same opposite Behaviour sex (who they’re with) sex

same opposite ldentity sex sex (the word they choose to describe themself)

ldentity Gay/ Straight (the word they choose to describe themself) Lesbian

queer / bisexual / pansexual

Gay/ Straight Not everyone’s positions on the spectrums change in their life and many Lesbian people are at similar sides or parts of all three spectrums, but many people change and are different too. queer / bisexual / pansexual

14 15 11 12 We’re taught that gender is black and white, but really Pronouns & transitioning it’s a whole spectrum of colours! Sex and gender can be broken down to understand it all better; biological sex, Asking people to use your preferred name and pronouns (he/she/they) can gender expression and gender identity are all on a spectrum be an important part of coming out and affirming your gender. You might – not only two options! not feel comfortable with male or female pronouns and asking for neutral pronouns like ze/zir/zirs or they/them/theirs. Most people won’t have Sex and gender diversity includes: thought hard about how they use pronouns, so it might take some time or friendly reminders to adjust and get your pronouns correct. It can hurt Intersex people have sex characteristics (reproductive when people use the wrong pronouns, but just as it takes time for us to get organs, hormone levels, chromosomes etc.) that are accustomed to our identities, it often takes others some time too. somwhere between the simplified ‘male’ and ‘female’ categories we’re given. Many people who are trans* want to change their body to match how they feel inside. Physically transitioning is a big deal and shouldn’t be done Transsexual, and some transgender people, have a body without taking the time to do what’s right for you and for the right reasons. sex that doesn’t match their sense of their sex and/or gender identity, so some physically transition with hormones and/or sex affirmation surgeries. Where to get info and support? Genderqueer, and other gender diverse people have a gender identity that isn’t simply ‘man’ or ‘woman’. For more info about sex and gender diversity, transitioning, or if you need

support check out the info and links on the Freedom Centre website. Gender identity is how you identify your gender. Some You can also come and get some peer support at GenderQ or other more sex and gender identities are androgyne, trans man, FC drop-in sessions, and/or link in to FC through our forums online at trans woman, FTM/F2M/M2M, MTF/M2F/F2F, sistergirl, www.freedom.org.au and fcyeah.tumblr.com brotherboy, boi, bi-gendered, genderscrewed, and many others. It’s up to you as to what feels right.

It takes time to know who you are and being trans* has some huge implications for your everyday life, but being honest with yourself and true to who you are makes the challenges worthwhile. It’s a good idea to link in to support networks for your journey to make it as easy as possible. Sex & Gender Diversity

There is no wrong or right way to be trans*. It isn’t a competition. I was told so many times that I ‘wasn’t trans* enough’ because I didn’t bind my chest everyday or go out of my way to tell people I’m FTM. You can transition at your own pace. You’re just as trans* as anybody else. It’s okay. - William, 19 16 17 “13 ” 14 Learn how to be a trans ally

ªª Use people’s preferred pronouns. You can’t always tell what someone’s sex or gender are just by looking at them, so don’t assume, and if you’re ever unsure, just ask respectfully. If you get their pronouns wrong, apologise, correct yourself and make an effort to remember for next time.

ªª Don’t ‘out’ someone without their permission, even if they’ve spoken openly to you about it.

ªª Don’t assume a trans* person is straight or bi. Trans* and intersex people have the same range of sexual diversity as everyone else.

ªª Never use the words ‘it’, hermaphrodite, or ‘tranny’ to refer to someone who is trans* or intersex.

ªª Never ask a trans* person how they have sex or what their genitals look like. Would you like it if someone asked you that?

ªª Don’t ask someone about their surgery – when, what etc. Not all trans* people want or can have surgery, and it’s quite personal.

18 19 15 16 Here’s a list of some of Mika, singer Del La Grace Volcano, photographer the many 1000’s of famous & performance artist people with a diverse sexuality, Rupert Everett, actor sex and/or gender... Marc Jacobs, fashion designer Anderson Cooper, reporter

Neil Patrick Harris, actor Jane Lynch, actor Cary Grant, actor Chris Colfer, actor Ruby Rose, DJ and TV Stephen Fry, actor, author & presenter screenwriter J.D Samson, musician Josh Thomas, Comedian Ani DiFranco, singer & Matthew Mitcham, Australian Olympian Alan Cumming, actor& Sir Ian McKellen, actor comedian Patrick Wolf, singer & Narelda Jacobs, news songwriter presenter Cynthia Nixon, actor Graham Norton, comedian & TV presenter Wanda Sykes, comedian Antony Hegarty, musician & actor Hannah Gadsby, comedian Chaz Bono, Cher’s son Matt Lucas, comedian & Sia Furler, musician actor John Hyde, Perth MLC Penny Wong, ALP Senator Louise Pratt, ALP Senator John Waters, filmmaker Liberace, pianist & Alexis Arquette, actor entertainer (with LGBTIQ members) Missy Higgins, singer & Sappho, ancient poet Bands musician Marlene Dietrich, actor Tegan and Sara, LeTigre, The Gossip, Scissor Sisters, Caster Semenya, athlete Antony & the Johnsons, Uh Huh Her, Against Me!, Famous LGBTIQ Peeps LGBTIQ Famous Frank Ocean, singer & Yo Majesty, MEN, Dresden Dolls Jessie J, musician songwriter 20 21 Don’t know what to say? Coming Out Nervous about coming out?

Try these tips! This can mean something different to everyone: coming out to yourself has to do with developing an awareness that you are LGBTIQ. Coming out to others involves disclosing your LGBTIQ identity. Things to consider before coming out

How sure are you about your Are you knowledgeable about ªª Start by telling your loved one that you have something you want to sexual attractions, and sexuality? issues relating to LGBTIQ people? talk to them about that’s important to you. “Are you sure?” is a common Reading up on the subject will question. It’s OK if you aren’t sure, mean you can more confidently ªª Write out what you want to say. Read it a few times so you’re clear but whether the answer is yes, no respond to any questions your about what you want to include, or read it out to them if that might or maybe, you need to be able to family or friends may have. work best for you. answer with confidence. ªª Choose a time to come out that has its own place and setting, free Are you financially dependent on from distractions. How comfortable are you with the people you want to tell? your sexuality and/or gender If you suspect they are capable of ªª Consider questions that might come up. Also be prepared to answer other questions, even if they don’t directly relate to you. identity? withdrawing any financial support If you are having feelings of guilt or forcing you out of where you live, ªª Try role-playing the occasion with supportive friends/family. or depression, seek some help in you may choose to wait until they understanding those feelings do not have this pressure to hold ªª Have this booklet or FC’s ‘Someone You Love’ booklet available for before coming out to loved ones. over you. You need to think about extra info for the person you are coming out to. Check out the links and services on the advantages and disadvantages. page 35 or at www.freedom.org.au For more tips about coming out check out the info section of Is it your decision to tell Do you have support? someone? www.freedom.org.au If your family or friends’ reactions Yes it is! Try not to feel pressured by don’t make you feel good, you people who think everyone must Info and support for Parents Family and Friends need to find someone, or a group, come out or by snooping people that you can turn to for emotional who ask unwelcome questions. PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) groups offer support. info and someone to talk to. Find out more at www.pflagwa.org.au or www.pflagaustralia.org.au 22 23 19 20 “My mum has always loved me, but Handling Rejection I’ve often thought about what has it took her a long time to accept transpired since then; I’ve looked upon my sexuality. When she asked me Some young people are rejected by it as an unplanned journey. It was if it would just be a phase that hurt the people they tell. This is a difficult thrust upon us; we’d hardly have the most, but now she’s nothing but situation to be in. Remember you signed up for it if given the option proud and even marched in the Pride are sharing an important part of of choosing something else. Parade last year!” yourself. If people choose to ignore Unplanned, however, does not mean unwelcomed. Today we can say - Alex, 20 this they are missing out on knowing all of who you are. Hold onto the “We’re glad we know.” We’ve been fact that you are special. Reach out able to support our son on his for support. journey. We hope that he can say, How will people react when I come out? “Unplanned, but not unwelcome.” ªª If your family do ask you to leave home please contact - John, a dad The following may help you They may have experienced the one of the services at“ the back understand and respond to same environment as you but of this book. people’s reactions. possibly with very different feelings. You have probably given your Don’t hang around if their Acceptance Just as you are unique, so are the sexuality or gender a lot of thought, ªª response is abusive. Leave people around you, and they may but it may be all new to them. as soon as possible and seek Self acceptance and acceptance of all react differently. Some people The feelings they may work through support with a supportive others is something everyone would will have no problem with your are similar to those you’ve dealt friend or family member, or like. It can take time to accept news sexuality and/or gender identity with, but the difference is that you’re phone the GLCS counselling about someone we love. There are and be happy for you, some may ahead of them in the process. line (08 9420 7201, 7-10pm lots of reasons why people might have already suspected and were be upset when we first come out – weeknights) and talk it over. just waiting for you to tell them, You may want them to understand concerns about” safety and how See the back of this book for while for others it will challenge and grasp this important part of services in your state. people will treat you and realising their feelings towards you. your life right away and give you they didn’t know everything about support. However, you may need If someone threatens you you can be tough. Many more They may feel angry, responsible or to allow people time to express ªª or is violent, get somewhere reach the point where they can also worried. Allow them time and space. their own feelings. Be patient. You safe and call the Police on celebrate everyone’s uniqueness. Shock, denial and feelings of guilt may also need to explain things a 131 444 or 000. are often experienced by people few times. Just because you’ve said when they are told that someone something once does not mean close to them is gay, lesbian, they fully heard it. Later they may Remember you’re not alone! bisexual or trans*. be ready to ask questions, listen to answers and acknowledge their Don’t imagine if things go badly at first that it will be like that forever… feelings. things generally get better with time. Support is out there! 24 25 21 22 We all have the right to healthy, safe and fulfilling Some warning signs that a relationship isn’t healthy might be relationships with partners, friends and family! when someone close to you:

Here’s some things that make a relationship healthy: ªª Makes you feel pressured or expected to do things you don’t want to do

ªª Clear and open communication ªª Criticises you, belittles you or makes fun of you

ªª Fun and humour ªª Threatens or manipulates you

ªª RESPECT ªª Stops or discourages you from seeing friends or family or doing things you enjoy ªª Patience ªª Is aggressive, abusive or ignores your needs or feelings ªª Trust ªª Controls finances and any other decisions about your life, including ªª Honesty things like being out or not, or how you express yourself

ªª Realistic expectations ªª Acts jealous or possessive, such as having to know everything you do or everyone you talk to ªª Supporting each other If you are worried about a ªª Enjoying time together relationship talk to someone you trust, or phone the GLCS ªª Everything is consensual counselling line on 08 9420 7201 (7-10pm weeknights) or the ªª Where you’re able to be yourself Kids Helpline on 1800 551 800) and talk it over. See the back of this book for services in your state. If you are feeling unsafe, someone threatens you or is violent, get somewhere safe and call the Police on 131 444 or 000. Healthy Relationships Healthy

26 27 23 24 Mental Health Mental Health is a term that broadly describes our mental wellbeing. It’s about our state of mind, and also our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. It’s also about our relationship with the outside world, with other people, and with society. It’s about how we think about and relate to ourselves, and participate in society. I struggled with depression for years. I never felt good enough. I got help and Research has shown that young people who are sexuality, sex or made the hard decision to make my life worth living. I came out and I was gender diverse are more likely to experience mental health issues. finally happy and free to be myself. My mental health improved dramatically This is not because we are bad or mad, but because we experience as a result.” marginalisation, discrimination and stigmatisation more than most, which – Blade, 20 can make it harder for us to cope with everything in our lives. It’s important to remember a few things:

ªª Being gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans*, intersex, queer or being confused Needing support right now? Looking for a mental health about your sexuality or gender doesn’t mean you have a mental service? illness. Try some of the following 24 hour services Find a Headspace Centre near you. ªª Feeling attracted to the same sex is as natural as being attracted to Headspace is Australia’s National the opposite sex. Questioning your gender or feeling like your inside Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Youth Mental Health Foundation doesn’t match your outside is OK too. www.lifeline.org.au www.headspace.org.au

ªª ; there are plenty of others who feel similar feelings Kids Helpline: 1800 551 800 Find other Mental Health services to what you’re feeling. It can take time to know who you are and suitable to you by contacting being confused is a normal part of figuring it all out. ReachOut- online support and BeyondBlue on 1300 22 46 36 info at www.reachout.com ªª Everyone deserves to be treated with RESPECT by others. It is not okay for people to call you names, or tease you, or make you feel unsafe. It can be really hard to admit that you might have a mental illness, but ªª It’s OK to be yourself – whoever that is. Trust your feelings and talk to I felt a thousand times better when I finally told my GP about my anxiety. someone you trust about them. Being different can be hard, but it can Just knowing you’ve taken a step towards treatment (and telling someone be more interesting and fun too! Support is out there. else!) can feel AWESOME.

– Alex, 20 28 29 25 “ ” Tips for staying happy and healthy! How can I deal with people who hassle me because I am There’s heaps we can do to keep ourselves happy and healthy! Everyone is different so try things out to see what LGBTIQ? works best for you, but here’s some tips from us at FC; Some people in society can sometimes discriminate and even ªª Sleep well be violent towards people who ªª Ask for a hug if you want one are seen to be different. However, ªª Listen to music you enjoy attitudes about sexuality and gender ªª Drink water have been, over time, changing for the better and are more positive in ªª Exercise regularly many places. There are also many ªª Have a long, relaxing shower or bath groups working to make things bet- ªª Keep a journal, blog or tumblr ter for everyone. ªª Get a pet No matter the reason, whether you are at school, work, TAFE, Uni, ª Try not to be afraid of how you feel ª online, shopping or just hanging out, harassment and abuse should not be ªª Talk to people you trust about things, tolerated! But this doesn’t mean you have to take it on by yourself. There don’t keep it all bottled up are people and services who can help. ªª Find exercise you enjoy ªª Smile and laugh Some suggestions for dealing with being hassled include: ªª Sing and dance (in the shower, car and sun) ªª Tell someone you trust Everyone needs to think about ªª Get active and get out of the house ªª Report threats or violence to their safety. Sometimes that means ªª Don’t place expectations on yourself the Police 131 444. If you’re walking away from confrontations, – simply do your best – you will always unhappy with how the report but always remember, you have a succeed if you focus on experiences not was handled you can call the right to feel and be safe. Nobody outcomes W.A. Police Diversity Unit on deserves violence or harassment, and you are not responsible for ªª Think about the good times when things (08) 9222 1510 other people’s attitudes. are bad ªª Call the WA Gay and Lesbian Community Services on ªª Don’t isolate yourself – remember you’re In an emergency call (08) 9420 7201 or go to not alone the Police on 000 www.glcs.org.au ªª Watch some comedy ªª Report discrimination to the ªª Do something you love

Looking after yourself after Looking Equal Opportunity ªª Try something new or challenge yourself Commission (see page 29) 30 31 27 28 Equal Opportunity and what to do about What About The Law? discrimination As the law stands now in WA the age of Sexual orientation and Gender History are grounds for consent is 16 years for any person protection under the Equal Opportunity Act. This means engaging in sexual activity, regardless that you cannot be discriminated against for being gay, of their gender or sexuality. It varies in lesbian or bisexual within WA. different states, so it is important to check out what the laws are in your area at Currently people who are trans* aren’t protected from www.equalityrules.info. discrimination until they have obtained a Gender Reassignment Certificate, but you can get support at In 2008 the Rudd Government Freedom Centre and give feedback or make complaints implemented changes to 85 Federal Laws about discrimination you’ve experienced to the Equal that removed discrimination against Opportunity Commission of WA. LGBTI couples and their families. Find out more at Wear it With Pride The following places can provide you with more info: www.wearitwithpride.com.au.

Your Rights Your Equal Opportunity Commission of WA (08) 9216 3900 / 1800 198 149 www.equalopportunity.wa.gov.au Want to know more about your rights or the law?

Equality Rules Contact the Equal Opportunity Commission in your state or check out the Info on the law relating to LGBTI people in WA since the Australian Human Rights Commission 2003 law reforms, check out: www.equalityrules.info www.hreoc.gov.au/human_rights/lgbti

WA Gender Project A lobby and advocacy group which aims to advance the human rights of all transsexual, transgender and intersex people. www.wagenderproject.org

Youth Legal Service 08 9202 1688 /1800 199 006 www.youthlegalserviceinc.com.au

Gay & Lesbian Equality www.galewa.asn.au 32 33 29 30 Cultural Diversity? Fact: Same Sex sexual activity was legalised in the Netherlands in 1811, Gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans*, in Peru in 1830, and in Japan ‘homosexual acts’ were seen positively until intersex and queer people they were made illegal in 1873, however they were legalised again in also come from many Fact: 1880. Australia legalised same sex sexual activity in 1994. different cultures. The term ‘Sistagirl’ is used We all experience life and to describe a transgender Fact: person in Tiwi Island and culture in different ways. Homosexuality was accepted in the other Aboriginal and Torres Our family or society’s What about Religion? first 200 years of the church. In fact, Strait Islander culture. culture can influence in 7th Century Spain, 6 national Traditionally, the term was what is expected of us and Gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans* church councils refused to outlaw ‘Yimpininni’ in the Tiwi who we are. This means that and intersex people have a wide homosexuality. Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islands. The very existence range of spiritual and religious Islander Australians, and of the word shows the beliefs. No one can tell you what Australians from culturally inclusive attitudes that once you believe. and linguistically diverse existed about Aboriginal backgrounds may have extra sexual minorities. Coloni- Some religious institutions are pressure and expectations sation had an impact on coming to accept the idea that around their sexuality and Aboriginal culture and people of diverse sexuality, sex gender. understanding of sexual and gender are a part of their What about? What and gender expression. congregation and therefore This can make it harder to Yimpininni were once should be allowed to worship. realise or come out about our held in high regard as the There are also a number of faith diverse sexuality, sex and nurturers within the family communities who welcome gay, gender. What’s important unit and tribe. lesbian, bisexual, trans* and to remember is that LGBTIQ intersex people. people are in every culture, country and part of society – past and present!

Where to get info and support? ATSI Qspace @ Freedom Centre A monthly drop in session for all Aboriginal and Torres Strait If religion or your culture is an important issue to you or your family, Islander young people who are same sex attracted, sex contact your local Gay and Lesbian Community Service or LGBTIQ youth and/or gender diverse including sistagirls and brotherboys. service. They can listen and help you connect to with people who know Find out more at www.freedom.org.au where you’re coming from. 34 35 31 32 Heterosexism: The attitude or belief Transgender: An umbrella term that heterosexuality is more ‘normal’ used to describe a broad range of Useful Terms or superior to other kinds of sexualities. non-traditional gender identities It is heterosexist to assume that and/or behaviours. Usually includes people are straight unless otherwise all trans* people, but some Androgynous: Can mean having to sexual orientation, in fact most specified, or that you can ‘tell’ if Transsexuals and members of the both masculine and feminine crossdressers are heterosexual men. someone is gay. sex and gender diverse community characteristics, or having neither prefer not to use this term. specifically masculine nor feminine Diverse Sexuality, Sex and/or Homophobia: An individual’s or characteristics. Some people who Gender (DSG): This term is inclusive society’s misunderstanding, fear, Transition(ing): For individuals in are androgynous may identify as of all people with diverse sexuality, ignorance of, or prejudice against gay, the trans* community, transitioning genderqueer, trans* or androgyne. sex and/or gender who may or may lesbian and/or bisexual people. is the process of changing their body not identify as LGBTIQ. and presentation, from the sex they Asexual: Someone whose sexual LGBTIQQ / GLBTIQQ: Stands for were assigned at birth, to match identity is asexual may lack interest Drag Queen/King: persons lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans*, intersex, their own sense of gender and in or desire for sex. They may or who dress and wear makeup, queer and questioning. Also, LGBTIQ, sex. This can be a social transition, may not engage in sexual activity wigs etc. to impersonate the LGBT, GLBT, GLB or LGB are used. and can involve hormone therapy and they may not experience opposite gender for the purposes and may also involve undergoing sexual arousal at all. of entertainment. The men who Sexuality: The term ‘sexuality’ surgery, name change, voice training, ‘do drag’ do not want to ‘be’ a encompasses sex, gender identities and other sex affirmation therapies Biphobia: An individual’s or society’s woman, they are performing an and roles, sexual orientation, eroticism, for a physical transition. misunderstanding, fear, ignorance exaggerated feminine persona. pleasure, intimacy and reproduction. of, or prejudice against, bisexual Sexuality is often, but not always, Transphobia: An individual’s and/or pansexual people. Gender: The sociological experienced and expressed in or society’s misunderstanding, construction of one’s masculinity or thoughts, fantasies, desires, beliefs, fear, ignorance of, or prejudice Cisgender: Where a person’s femininity: how a person thinks, attitudes, values, behaviours, practic- against people who experience gender agrees with their acts, dresses and speaks which es, roles and relationships. transsexualism or identify as trans*. assigned sex. Used to label those distinguishes them as masculine whose gender is not trans*. or feminine. One’s gender can Trans*: An umbrella term including be masculine, feminine and/or transsexual and transgender. Crossdresser: Someone who androgynous. More Useful Terms crossdresses (also known as a Transsexual: A person who identifies For a full list or useful terms transvestite) is a person who gets Heterosexual & Straight: People as the sex opposite to the one check out the Glossary page on personal satisfaction and peace of whose sexual and romantic feelings assigned at birth and who may choose the Freedom Centre’s website mind by wearing the clothing of the are primarily for the opposite sex to undergo sex affirmation surgeries. opposite sex. This usually refers to and who identify primarily with www.freedom.org.au and also see men dressing in women’s clothing. those feelings. page’s 9-14 of this booklet. Crossdressing is not directly related 36 37 33 34

New South Wales Victoria Services and more info Twenty10 Rainbow Network www.twenty10.org.au www.rainbownetwork.net.au Check out these services to get support, info and connect with your 02 8594 9550 03 9285 5367 community! Gay & Lesbian Counselling Service Gay & Lesbian SwitchBoard Western Australia South Australia of NSW (ACT too) (TAS too) Freedom Centre Inside Out and Evolve (Second www.glcsnsw.org.au www.switchboard.org.au www.freedom.org.au Story Youth Service) 02 8594 9596 / 1800 184 527 03 9663 2939 www.fcyeah.tumblr.com 08 8232 0233 [email protected] The Gender Centre of NSW Zoe Belle Gender Centre 08 9228 0354 Gay & Lesbian Counselling Services www.gendercentre.org.au www.gendercentre.com www.glcssa.org.au 02 9569 2366 03 8398 4134 Gay & Lesbian Community Services 08 8193 0800 / 1800 184 527 www.glcs.org.au Australian Capital Territory Northern Territory 08 9420 7201 / 1800 184 527 Queensland Gender Agenda Northern Territory AIDS & Open Doors www.genderrights.org.au Hepatitis Council WA AIDS Council www.opendoors.net.au www.ntahc.org.au www.waaids.com 07 3257 7660 AIDS Action Council of the ACT 02 8944 7777 08 9482 0000 www.aidsaction.org.au Gay and Lesbian Welfare 02 6257 2855 True Colours - UnitingCare West Association [email protected] www.glwa.org.au 1300 663 298 Tasmania 07 3017 1717 / 1800 184 527 Working It Out www.workingitout.org.au Healthy Communities (QAHC) 03 6231 1200 www.qahc.org.au National 07 3017 1777 / 1800 177 434 Tasmanian Council on AIDS Gay & Lesbian Counselling and Hepatitis And Related Diseases Community Services of Australia www.tascahrd.org.au www.glccs.org.au National LGBTI Health Alliance 03 6234 1242 / 1800 005 900 1800 184 527 / 1800 18 GLCS www.lgbtihealth.org.au 02 8568 1120 For more services, websites LifeLine www.lifeline.org.au OII (Intersex) Australia and info: check out the ‘Links’ 13 11 14 / 1300 13 11 14 www.oiiaustralia.com section of www.freedom.org.au 38 39 35 What is the Freedom Centre?

FC provides a safe drop in centre and online space for sexuality, sex and/or gender diverse young people (under 26) to hang out, get peer support, information, and referral. Freespace Weekly Drop In Sessions Wednesdays 5-8pm & Fridays 4-8pm

Monthly sessions include; ªª GenderQ: for all young people Contact Us

who are trans*, sex and/or Visit us online or drop in at: gender diverse or questioning. 93 Brisbane St. Perth, 6000 ªª ATSI Qspace: for Aboriginal and p: 9228 0354 Torres Strait Islander young e: [email protected] people who are same sex w: freedom.org.au attracted, sex and/or gender diverse.

ªª Plus more! Go to our website.

Find Freedom Online

Info, discussions, news, events and community. Follow us fcyeah.tumblr.com Join our forums at fcf.org.au

40 www.freedom.org.au centre