www.QuestForMeaning.org

What’s Broken is Brilliant BY BARBARA W ELLS TEN H OVE , CO -MINISTER , CEDARS UU C HURCH , B AINBRIDGE I SLAND AND NORTH K ITSAP C OUNTY , W ASHINGTON

Do you remember the first time you really understood that the world you lived in was not safe? Sadly, for some, this edu- cation comes at far too early an age. Perhaps you were power- fully wounded as a young child by abuse, poverty or hatred. Vol. LXVII, No. 3 March 2012 For those of us lucky enough to feel safe in our families and homes, the discovery of the world’s danger often comes from outside. I remember exactly when it hap- pened for me. April, 1968. I remember I felt terribly alone. Uncertain. Aware that what I believed about the world had shifted in some significant way. Martin Luther King’s assassination changed forever my belief in a world of security and peace. There are cracks, I was eight years old and, for the first time, knew what brokenness felt like. cracks, in everything— If each of us were to tell our own story, I expect we would discover similar tales— that’s how the light moments early in our lives when we truly understood that our parents can’t always fix everything that goes wrong, that sometimes things fall apart and can’t be put gets in. back together. We realize that brokenness is always going to be around. Some, when confronted by this challenging reality, decide not to believe it. These —Leonard Cohen folks may develop a web of pretty lies in which to live. Others determine that if anything breaks, then everything does. They go around breaking things and people in their lives just to prove it to be true. But most of us try to figure out how to live amid the brokenness.

Our world is broken—that’s A monthly for religious liberals . . . sometimes things fall apart absolutely true. Spend an hour and can’t be put together. reading any legitimate news source and you will learn about THINKING ABOUT BROKENNESS murder and mayhem, hatred and terror, abused children and war crimes, petty wrongdoing and just general unpleasantness on the part of too many of us. We ¢ WHAT ’S B ROKEN IS B RILLIANT do not live in anything approaching utopia. Rather, we live in the challenging Barbara Wells ten Hove here and now when so much is broken, so much is in pieces all around us. ¢ COME , Y E D ISCONSOLATE As Unitarian Universalists, our first response to brokenness is often to try to fix it. Taquiena Boston We are people who believe in solutions. We think that if we work hard enough, think creatively enough, band together with enough well meaning people, we can ¢ HOW D OES OUR F AITH H OLD heal this broken world. And that’s not a bad thing at all. As individuals and as con- BROKENNESS ? Victoria Safford gregations we offer our resources to organizations that need our money to better the world. We volunteer for worthy causes, giving of ourselves to others. And I’m ¢ FROM Y OUR M INISTER often powerfully moved by the ways our people have done extraordinary things to Meg Riley fix that which is broken, through the Unitarian Universalist Service Committee , for example, or through efforts of the Standing on the Side of Love campaign on ¢ RE SOURCES FOR L IVING Lynn Ungar behalf of marriage equality and just, compassionate policies toward immigrants. Yes, I appreciate all this. But I am also keenly aware, particularly as I age, that not ¢ THE C UP OF O UR L IFE all broken things can be fixed. That much of the good we do can be swept away by Joyce Rupp one inept leader, by one bad decision on the part of voters, even by quirks of na- ture—hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes or floods. I know from hard personal experience that humans are fragile, love doesn’t always triumph, and life is hard. Of course the world—at least one filled with people—has probably always been broken. And we humans, it seems, have always sought ways to fix that broken- ness. One response is to tell stories of original, perfect, mythical worlds where all

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Page 2 March 2012 is good and pure and hopeful. One of dislike or disdain in me or in any of us. In Broken for You , the main character the great myths is that of Adam and What’s broken is often where people is badly hurt in a car accident. As she Eve in Paradise. Here is this beautiful find connection. heals, she discovers her gift as an artist, couple, naked and carefree—happy Recently I read a worthy book called for she, with the help of an ever- and safe and whole—until the snake Broken for You , by Seattle author increasing community of oddballs, be- arrives. Native American creation Stephanie Kallos. It tells the story of a gins designing and building mosaics. stories often portray a perfect world group of broken people who, in the Each work of art is created from bro- before some animal trickster such as course of living their difficult lives, ken shards of delicate china that had coyote or raven comes along to find powerful connection and, yes, been stolen from Jews killed in the complicate things. Holocaust and intentionally smashed to Because, of course, that’s what always What’s broken is often pieces by the daughter of the thief. If happens. Paradise is never reality. It is all of this sounds complicated, it is. In something to imagine, aspire to, and where people find the book, as in life, beauty can, and dream about. We long for “somewhere connection. often does, emerge not from perfection, over the rainbow,” but there is no Land but rather from complicated broken- of Oz that doesn’t include the challeng- even love. Kallos uses the metaphor of ness. What is broken can be brilliant. ing reality that all people, without ex- the mosaic to help readers discern the And in the metaphor of the mosaic, I ception, are broken, one way or an- process of making something beautiful began to see how. Rather than aiming other. Chipped and frayed, seams from what is broken. for paradise somewhere over the rain- ripped apart and re-sewn, torn and bat- Most of us know what a mosaic is— bow, a path we idealists often follow, tered by life. That is part of the human small broken pieces of stone, pottery or we are challenged instead to create condition. We are horribly imperfect. glass, placed in a pattern, attached to- something with the brokenness, not in We have sharp edges brought on by the gether with a kind of grout. There are spite of it. We are called to use our own many ways life has caused us to crack. ancient mosaics. Perhaps you’ve seen broken places—our tragic losses, our You may not see them at first, but get pictures of some of the gorgeous ones shameful truths, our unhealed up close and the brokenness becomes in Italy and Turkey, created hundreds wounds—to create beauty where we clear. Sometimes, it shines with a of years ago. But there are plenty of can. But how do we do this? brilliance that is blinding. modern mosaics, too. Look closely at a When I was in seminary I remember I once took part in a mask-making mosaic and it feels disjointed, the being taught about Henri Nouwen’s workshop. Prior to the creation of the pieces small and sometimes ugly, the concept of the “wounded healer.” I mask, we were led in a guided medita- grout discolored and cracked. But back never understood quite what this was tion. As in so many of such creative away some distance and beauty until I shared my wounds with another inner journeys, the gentle voice of our emerges. All the broken pieces, when in pain and we both began to heal. I leader asked us to walk a path, see used in mosaic, reflect a much bigger expect you have knowledge and experi- what we might see, then ultimately find picture than we can see close up. ence of this, too. If you were abused, our mask and discover what it had to Such mosaics remind me that broken perhaps there was a time when you say to us. I was reluctant to go on such pieces are not made whole by trying to overcame the shame and told the truth a journey. I was distracted and keenly glue the pieces back together again, to another, and you both found cour- aware of my physical pain and my aiming for a perfection we imagine our age. If your heart was broken, perhaps inner judgment (companions on less-broken selves once displayed. a time came when you opened it again almost every journey I take). Rather, when we in spite of the risk. If your life was When I found my mask and invited it allow our broken- shattered by violence, perhaps you un- to speak, I expected nothing. Instead, I ness to be seen in derstood for the first time why it mat- heard these words. What’s broken is new ways, when we ters to work for peace—and did so. brilliant . Huh? What’s broken is bril- accept that others I cannot know what lives in the deep liant . How can what is broken in me be are also broken, and recesses of each of your hearts. But I brilliant? What’s broken feels shame- love them anyway, do believe that the tender, broken parts ful, painful. It is not pretty or nice. It is and when we cease in each of us are precious. Does this edgy, cracked; it rubs me and everyone to view brokenness mean I would wish brokenness on each else the wrong way—doesn’t it? as ugly and unac- of us? Of course not. I don’t have to What’s broken is brilliant. And what’s ceptable, healing wish it. Brokenness comes with living. broken is not necessarily what people becomes possible. Nary a one of us is free from it. And CLF

March 2012 Page 3 yet, even the harshest tragedies, the education, profession, material assets, most senseless losses, have gifts to Come, Ye and physical appearance. As early as give. In Stephanie Kallos’s words: age four, I saw that children with fair skin and silky hair were viewed as We speak of “senseless tragedies,” but Disconsolate Maybe because I was born 1954, the more attractive, intelligent, and well- really: Is there any other kind? Moth- same year as Brown v. Board of Edu- behaved by black and white society. I ers and wives disappear without a cation , I have always known that bro- recognized that the black proprietor of trace. Children are killed. Madmen kenness is not only individual, but my nursery school had great respect ravage the world, leaving wounds im- also social and collective. I learned for the children whose parents worked measurably deep, and endlessly that religious community and theology for the government and owned their mourned…. But we never stop looking, often hold a people struggling with houses and that she treated me indif- not even after those we love become a brokenness, suffering, and injustice. ferently because my mother worked at part of the unreachable horizon. We My earliest influences in being held a laundry, my father worked for a trash can never stop carrying the heavy this way are my family church and the company, and we rented the upstairs weight of love on this pilgrimage; we movement for African-American civil apartment in another family’s home. can only transfigure what we carry. We rights. can only shatter it and send it whirling I went to an all-black elementary into the world so that it can take shape At Saint Paul African Methodist Epis- school, where the white principal did in some new way . copal Church, in Washington DC, not allow teachers to give A’s to stu- where I grew up, the hymn “Come, Ye We can never stop carrying the heavy dents because she was convinced of Disconsolate” called worshipers to the weight of love on this pilgrimage; we the inferiority of black people. Aunts, altar for personal prayer: can only transfigure what we carry. uncles, and neighbors, when moved by That is the task of the religious life. Not Come, ye disconsolate, where’re ye television images of attack dogs and to imagine some far away paradise that languish fire hoses turned on students and only the perfect can enter, nor to give Come to the mercy seat, fervently kneel marchers, told personal stories about up on possibilities and sit passively in Here bring your wounded heart, here unfair treatment at work, in stores, by misery among the broken shards of our tell your anguish police, or while traveling through life. Rather we are called to transform Earth hath no sorrow that heaven can- white neighborhoods. the painful and harsh realities of our not heal The church, while not immune from lives into as much beauty as we can. My earliest image of how faith holds a race, color, and class discrimination, We are called to create mosaics known people in brokenness and suffering is provided fortification for struggling as community, as family, as congrega- Saint Paul members walking down the against racial and economic injustice. tions. And we are invited to bring our sunlit aisles in the former synagogue to Ministers in the 1960s and 1970s broken selves into relationship, and bring their wounded hearts, anguish, would never use a word like empower- find ways to help each other heal. sorrow, and loss to the wide wooden ment, but it was the subtext of sermons As a child I learned that my parents altar, as the choir sang “Come, Ye and the Bible stories they most fre- couldn’t fix everything wrong with the Disconsolate.” Those prayerful mo- quently referenced. They spoke of evil world. I learned that they, and I, and ments in the church demonstrated the as evident in oppression and inequal- everyone around me were imperfect— equality of all in the eyes of the Crea- ity. The sermons about oppression wounded and broken by loss, heart- tor: school teachers and nurses, gov- came clothed in stories of persecuted break and tragedy. But as I grew I also ernment workers and college profes- prophets and other Biblical protago- learned that when we broken but bril- sors, beauticians and truck drivers, nists with whom the congregation liant humans band together to create domestics and day laborers—all came could identify, those ancient stories beauty and build community, powerful to kneel humbly in private conversa- often paired with accounts of contem- love breaks through. And I learned that tion with their God. When they rose to porary civil rights struggles. our Unitarian Universalist faith in the return to the pews, their eyes some- The church asserted that neither mate- unity of all life, broken though it is, and times held tears, but always held hope, rial assets nor profession nor social the love that blesses us, imperfect and their bodies were outlined by the standing determined intrinsic worth. though it may be, can go a long way glow from stained glass windows, still God conferred worth and dignity. No toward creating the world of our hopes decorated with stars of David. matter the struggles and injustice in the and dreams. ¢ In the 1960s, social status in Washing- world, the faithful would find support ton was communicated not only by in times of trouble. The righteous will race and ethnicity but also through not be forsaken. The meek shall inherit CLF

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the earth. We shall overcome. Earth recorded by Donny Hathaway and hath no sorrow that heaven cannot Roberta Flack. How Does Our heal. These messages gave me a strong When I discovered Unitarian Univers- Faith Hold sense of my own possibilities despite alism a decade later, as a young adult the larger society’s messages. at All Souls Church, Unitarian, in Brokenness? But the most influential minister of my Washington DC, I found a faith with In Duluth, Minnesota, in the center of childhood and early youth was a Bap- justice at its core. I did not leave Saint the city, there is a statue of three tist minister from Georgia. Martin Lu- Paul because I rejected anything; I young men, college-aged, strong and ther King, Jr. spoke to the brokenness joined All Souls because Unitarian hopeful, looking out of the stone to- and suffering caused by injustice in Universalism was theologically expan- ward the world. On a summer night in society. His words, echoing the mes- sive, included more social identities, 1920, not so very long ago, these sages I heard from the pulpit, named emphasized human agency, and three—Isaac McGhie, Elias Clayton, injustice and oppression as evils that brought together faith and justice. and Elmer Jackson—were lynched had to be transformed—but King went For many years, All Souls was the reli- there by a mob that may have num- further. He called the oppressor as well gious home that fortified me through bered as many as ten thousand peo- as the oppressed to a vision of beloved all the disappointing presidential elec- ple. The three were road workers for community, a society of love and jus- tions, irrational wars, and halting pro- a traveling circus, arrested days be- tice that all people were responsible for gress of social justice movements. Uni- fore on charges of raping a white creating. tarian Universalism challenged me to woman. The crowd broke into the jail As I witnessed King’s work at the in- continue to expand my consciousness and dragged them to a lamppost. It tersection of his religious identity and of the ways that injustice manifests in did not take very long for these thou- social justice, I unconsciously absorbed human relationships—not only with sands of citizens to gather themselves the wisdom that living as a person of regard to race, gender, and class but around a murderous idea. Not even faith means practicing social justice. also sexual orientation, disability, age, the circus would have brought out ten And I learned that one role of the nationality, and religion. thousand people without notice. church is to support its members in Unitarian Universalism is my religious Evil was easily organized, as it so acting justly beyond its walls. How- home. It is not a perfect faith commu- often is, from the fragments of possi- ever, a time came when the support nity for a woman of color from a work- bility that lie around, ever ready, the that Saint Paul offered was inadequate ing-class family. Our congregations’ tiny sharp shards of potential, the to hold the identity struggles I experi- struggle to be fully racially and cultur- fertile seeds that exist inside each one enced as a working-class, first- ally inclusive is a continuing source of of us. Of the ten thousand, a few were generation college student. Although disappointment, and it is painful to masterminds and most were “merely” the congregation continued to affirm admit that not all social identities find spectators, carrying no weapons, no me, the theology did not address the full welcome in our faith. Despite the coils of premeditated rope. But how complexity that I witnessed in worlds tensions and contradictions between to draw lines? So often evil shows beyond the church community. How- Unitarian Universalists’ principles and itself not as a monolith, but as a ever, the college environment lacked practices, in matters of faith and social patchwork composed of a great many the values that I cherished at Saint justice I find in it a more expansive very small pieces. Paul, as well as its emphasis on integ- altar where I can bring my wounded Eighty-three years later a different rity and character. heart and tell my anguish. crowd gathered in that same street, My search for something to anchor me Excerpted from some of them descendents of those led me to other theologies. At the “Come, Ye Disconso- present the first time. This patchwork Howard University School of Religion late” by Taquiena of humanity was smaller, and no library I immersed myself in the phi- Boston , director of doubt more difficult to organize, than losophies of Howard Thurman, Zen multicultural growth the first, but this one was lovely and Buddhists, existentialists, and Christian and witness for the mystics, as well as traditions of the Far Unitarian Universalist intentional, healing and brave. The East, to help me cope with my personal Association. Published people of Duluth—African Ameri- anguish. Though the philosophies pro- in 2009 by Skinner House in A People cans and white Americans and oth- vided useful insights, they did not pro- So Bold: Theology and Ministry for ers—came together to tell this story vide comfort. I found myself listening Unitarian Universalists, edited by John out loud, publicly, to claim shared a lot to “Come, Ye Disconsolate,” as Gibb Millspaugh. ¢ ownership of this history which for CLF

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decades had been hidden like a fester- for one another while we live, they ten for the truths of others. Part of our ing family secret. Onto the monument said, by cruel action and selfish inac- vocation as human beings, and as reli- they dedicated are carved the words of tion; sometimes we make hell for our- gious human beings, is to aid and abet Edmund Burke: An event has hap- selves, and live there ‘til we die. the transmission of beauty and truth. pened upon which it is difficult to Evil is the capacity within and among My husband will say on those occa- speak and impossible to remain silent. us to break sacred connection with sions when the weight of the world is Unitarian Universalism is often ac- ourselves, with each other, with the closing in and the evidence against cused of remaining silent, of being Holy, and further, to deny this break- hope mounts as I read the news, when “soft on crime,” unwilling to look evil age or to call it virtue. The soil in I start confusing cynicism with prag- in the eye and admit that some human which it flourishes is a rich compost of matism, and I sigh, “I’m so tired, I’m beings, by their choices, have stepped ignorance, arrogance, fear and delu- so discouraged”—he’ll say, in the across an invisible but absolute line, sion—mostly self-delusion. Sunlight kindest way: “What kind of entitled forfeiting forgiveness. The early Uni- beats it back. Humility stunts its grandiosity of privilege is this, to think versalists did believe that every person growth. Truth telling, truth seeking, that you or I or anyone has the right to truth speaking, secret-breaking, brave sever the bright thread of hope, the An event has happened naming, bearing witness—all weaken tradition of dedication to the common upon which it is difficult its resolve and threaten its potential. good and faith in the people’s power to Saying and singing and teaching to imagine great change and great risks to speak and impossible children, and carving into stone from and then take them; the beautiful, to remain silent. time to time the words, Here happened proud history of work for human rights an event upon which it is difficult to and freedom? We’re only here to pass is redeemable, salvageable, possessed speak and impossible to remain si- it on,” he’ll say. “All you have to do is of worth and even dignity, no matter lent —this is good practice. This is how keep the fire burning for a little while, what—but this was less a statement connection begins, sacred connection, and pass it on. You have no right to about human nature than about the and how it is restored. This is part of put it out.” Not in so many words, but nature of God, who was Love and what the church is for. that’s about what Ross will say. nothing else for them, understanding The church exists, in part, to remem- It’s what we say every Sunday. The and nothing less for them, forgiveness ber —to rescue from vast silence sto- sacrament of celebration involves absolutely, if one would be forgiven. ries that might not otherwise be heard, memory, as much as it involves for- The real concern of the Universalists, to ask questions that might not other- ward-looking hope. The church can and an abiding concern for their de- wise be asked, and to celebrate victo- hold evil and injustice only if it holds scendants, was judgment, and who ries and mourn losses that might other- the story of resistance, too. It’s not the gets to do it, and on what grounds. wise be forgotten. To bless what might mourning, but the dancing, that will Who is fit to say whose soul might be go unblessed. The church is part of move our people out of the sanctuary beyond repair? They disbelieved, ve- society—and this is never more clear and into the street, into the statehouse, hemently, in the eternal punishment of than when it is complicit in society’s where the life of prayer is embodied. hell, but not in hell entirely. They held ignorance, arrogance or evil. But it by Victoria Safford , senior minister of that we are punished not for our sins stands apart as well, charged to see the the White Bear Unitarian Universalist but by them, every day. Our whole- world both as it is and as it could be. Church in Mahtomedi, Minnesota. ness, our holiness, is torn; our spirit This remembering, this naming of Excerpted becomes sick. They disbelieved in the truth, the telling of stories forgotten, from “How doctrine of original sin, at least as it forbidden and hidden, both terrible and does our faith was roared from raging pulpits; but beautiful, is one way that we hold bro- hold broken- more, they disbelieved in the myth of kenness, injustice and suffering. For ness, injustice original goodness, that there ever was us, it could be called a sacrament, the and suffer- a golden age, an innocent time when sacrament of the living word. ing?” pub- happy human beings tended the garden I have come to believe about human lished in A People So Bold: Theology of the earth and then made some kind beings that we require food, water, and Ministry for Unitarian Universal- of awful first mistake. shelter, air, and stories. Something in ists . This book is available through the There was no mistake, they said, no us needs to speak and to be heard, to UUA Bookstore (www.uua.org/ apple and no snake. Free will was in- forgive and be forgiven, to sing and bookstore or 800-215-9076) or the herent in us all along. We make hell hear music, to speak our truth and lis- CLF library (617-948-6150). ¢ CLF

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But you don’t have to move into an The third thing I know is that I need to From Your abandoned house to connect with a stay very clear about how I deploy my Minister startling variety of people. The Internet time, money and commitment to make is probably my favorite gathering sure that I am aligned with my own BY MEG R ILEY place. There it is, right in my own deepest values. Feminist theologian SENIOR MINISTER , CHURCH OF THE home. How amazing that I am in daily Mary Daly used to say “Take your life LARGER F ELLOWSHIP contact with hundreds of smart, faithful and throw it as far as it will go.” These people who can share wisdom with me days, that message seems important. As I follow the news of upheaval from their part of the world, telling me I need to find places where my life en- that appears to be escalating daily— things I wouldn’t otherwise know ergy gathers strength, and then build collapsing political and economic about life from their point of view. from those places, working with others systems, hurricanes, earthquakes, The second thing I’ve figured out is who are living with that same passion- tornados and floods—and as I interact that I need to learn to be more comfort- ate commitment. For me, life energy with many people whose lives are able with not knowing exactly what is always gathers around plants. I think affected by those bigger systems, going on or what to do. I need to find that the burgeoning movement towards here’s what I’ve been wondering. some peace with “I don’t know.” organic gardening and eating local How do I stay present when things are foods is one way that what is broken breaking or broken? How do I allow How do I stay present might yield something better. So I things to break when they need to spend some time exchanging seeds and break, and still stay on the side of Life? when things are breaking knowledge and excitement. I am work- How do I manage to not numb out or or broken? ing to create a new community garden move into denial, without going mad in my neighborhood. and breaking apart myself, when sys- That’s not an easy one for me. I am Raising a teenager, as I do, means in- tems far beyond my control or even my more comfortable in the role of cru- volvement with school systems and comprehension, are wreaking havoc? sader on the side of what is right. I other parents and thinking about what And for what do I go down fighting? cherish our Unitarian Universalist his- “a good education” means today. tory of activism, of standing on the side I’ll tell you three things I’ve figured I don’t have to go searching for where of love. I like to think I know which out, but your wisdom is greatly appre- my life energy is in matters so close to end is up! As I read the signs of the ciated here, as I am still struggling to my heart. I simply need to steward it times, a great many things are breaking sort it out. Well, actually, that’s the well, and believe that the small actions apart that might be good to have break first thing I’ve figured out: I’m not I take can have some beneficial impact. going to be able make meaning of this apart. But right now, there is a great Of course, a great deal of my energy is alone. Rather, I think this is a time deal I simply can’t know. invested in building CLF as a commu- when we need each other in order to Oh sure, I know that money and poli- nity of resistance and hope, so that in create a multi-dimensional, holistic tics are never a good mix, and I ap- these troubled times we can find and picture of what is going on and how plaud every effort to separate the two. I support each other. My ministry with we might live together in this portion of know that providing basic needs for CLF provides fresh evidence for me, history. everyone is a good thing for all. It’s not every single day, that there is creative, One of my favorite aspects of the Oc- that I don’t know anything . I’m just new, bold energy alive and humming. clearer every day that I don’t know cupy movement is that unlikely people The allies who have shown up to help even close to everything . are finding their way to each other to out with this are truly amazing, and hash things out. In the cold winter of It’s hard for me to grieve when big box make me believe that anything is possi- Minnesota, where I live, Occupiers stores go bankrupt, though the loss of ble if we do it together. The depth of have moved from a downtown plaza jobs that follows is upsetting. Those sharing that people are ready for in into empty, foreclosed houses. In those stores never seemed sustainable to me small groups and in worship, with peo- houses there is conversation, question- anyway. I’m not upset when consumers ple they have never met in person, bog- ing, wondering, and sharing stories quit buying things, even if that cessa- gles my mind. I continue to feel like the going on. Students, veterans, homeless tion is fueled by fear and impacts peo- luckiest person on the planet to have people, peace activists, and union ple’s livelihoods and well-being. These this place to find myself, and I hope members are talking honestly for ex- are complicated systems! So, I am you can find yourself here as well, as tended periods of time. This can only working on how to be more comfort- we join together in all of our blessed be good. able saying “I don’t know.” and broken splendor. ¢ CLF

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of a pole, which she Our humanist heritage points us to- REsources for carried across her ward an understanding of community neck. But one of the as a place where we create a whole- Living pots had a crack in ness that is greater than any one it, while the other member of the group. And through all BY LYNN U NGAR , MINISTER FOR pot was perfectly whole. So each our different theologies we carry a LIFESPAN LEARNING , CHURCH OF time the woman trudged up the hill belief that our differences are gifts, THE L ARGER F ELLOWSHIP from the stream to her house the not failings. Francis David said back Unitarian Universalists tend to be perfect pot delivered a full portion in the 1500s that “We need not think pretty upbeat about human nature. of water, but the cracked pot arrived alike to love alike.” Modern day UUs We remind ourselves of each person’s only half full. are likely to add that we also need “inherent worth and dignity,” and For a full two years this went on not look alike, sound alike, have the rather than baptizing babies (to daily, with the woman bringing home same abilities or the same back- cleanse them of original sin), we wel- only one and a half pots of water. Of grounds in order to love alike. come young ones with rituals that course, the perfect pot was proud of A quote from Albert Einstein has affirm that we’re delighted to have its accomplishments. But the poor been making its way around Facebook them exactly as they are. In the cracked pot was ashamed of its own lately: “Everybody is a genius. But if 1800s Unitarian minister James imperfection, and felt miserable that you judge a fish by its ability to climb Freeman Clarke declared five defin- it could only do half of what it had a tree, it will live its whole life believ- ing points of Unitarianism that fa- been created to do. Finally, after ing it is stupid.” A fish trying to climb mously included “the progress of what it perceived to be bitter fail- a tree looks pretty darn broken, and mankind onward and upward forever.” ure, the dripping pot spoke to the a squirrel in the ocean doesn’t look so To hear the UU version of humanity, woman one day by the stream. hot either. Our society can be quick you might think that all of us, like to tell people with disabilities, or the Mary Poppins, are “practically What if you’ve come to elderly, or children, or immigrants or perfect in every way.” the conclusion that some gay or lesbian folks, or people with mental or physical illnesses, or people There’s much to be said for this opti- things about yourself are mism about human beings, but it does living in poverty or in prison that they have a downside. What if you don’t not only broken, they’re are “less than,” that they are not feel practically perfect? What if you almost certainly going to fully whole, fully human. don’t feel anywhere in the same zip stay broken? But the gift of the Beloved Commu- code as perfect? What if you look in nity is to see each person for the the mirror and see flaws and failings, genius they are, for the wholeness disabilities and damages? Some ver- “I am so sorry that I have failed you that they are. What we have to offer sions of religion say that we are for- all this time, because this crack in my as Unitarian Universalists is neither given and made perfect by God or side causes water to leak out all the the ability to become flawless nor Jesus, but UUs tend to expect people way back to your house.” The old the ability to cure others of their to go ahead and perfect themselves. woman smiled, “Did you notice that flaws. What we have instead, at least there are flowers on your side of the So what happens when you just don’t in our best moments, is the holy ca- path, but not on the other pot's side? think you can even get on the road pacity to appreciate the field of Every day as we walk up the hill the toward perfect? What if you’ve come flowers that all of us cracked pots water that dribbles through your to the conclusion that some things have created. ¢ crack nourishes the wildflowers along about yourself are not only broken, the way. Perhaps you are flawed as a they’re almost certainly going to stay water jug, but you are a perfect wa- broken? Does Unitarian Universalism tering can, and because of you I am have nothing to offer those of us able to enjoy all these beautiful flow- whose hearts or bodies or sprits feel ers on my daily walk to and from the broken beyond mending? stream.” Well, maybe what we can offer is In other words, perhaps what we all another way of looking at brokenness. need to be is not flawless, but rather Perhaps you’ve heard this story, in carried by a love that recognizes how one of its many versions: our flaws can be part of a larger An elderly woman had to haul water wholeness. Our Universalist heritage to her home from the stream down guides us toward an understanding of the hill. Every day she would take up God as a kind of Love that can find two large pots, each hung on the ends the wholeness in our cracked selves. Church of the Larger Fellowship NONPROFIT ORG. U.S. POSTAGE Unitarian Universalist PAID 25 Beacon Street, Boston, Massachusetts 02108-2823 BOSTON, MA USA PERMIT NO. 55362

Did You Know That you can find personal statements and spiritual practices on a variety of difficult life issues at www.questformeaning.org, our new website?

Quest Editorial Team: Meg Riley; Lorraine Dennis; Celeste DeRoche; Janet Lane; Beth Murray; Cindy Salloway; Jaco ten Hove; Arliss Ungar; Lynn Ungar, editor Copyright 2012 Church of the Larger Fellowship. Permission to reproduce items from Quest is granted, provided credit is given to the author and to the CLF. ISSN 1070-244X CLF Staff : Meg Riley, senior minister; Lorraine Dennis, executive director; Lynn Ungar, minister for lifespan learning and Quest editor; Patty Franz, prison ministry director; Kristin Schmidt, minister in residence; Joanna Crawford, ministerial intern; Mary Frances Comer, pastoral care associate; Eric Hausmann, young adult minister; Beth Murray, PR & program administrator; Cindy Salloway, fiscal administrator; Lisa Kielt, development director; Sue Conley, membership assistant Web Site www.QuestForMeaning.org— E-mail [email protected] — Jewelry 617-948-6150 — Minister’s Toll-Free Line 800-231-3027 CLF Unitarian Universalist, 25 Beacon St., Boston MA 02108 USA — Telephone 617-948-6166 — Fax 617-523-4123

The Cup of Our Life it is time for me to cherish it is time for me the unwanted to see the flaws to welcome of myself the unknown and stop to treasure being alarmed the unfulfilled it is time for me if I wait to be to halt my drive perfect for perfection before I love myself and to accept I will always be my blemishes unsatisfied it is time for me and ungrateful to receive if I wait until slowly evolving growth all the flaws, chips, the kind that comes and cracks disappear in…[its] own good time I will be the cup and pays no heed that stands on the shelf to my panicky pushing and is never used it is time for me to embrace Excerpted from The Cup of Our Life my humanness by Joyce Rupp . Copyright 1997 to love by Ave Maria Press. Notre Dame, my incompleteness IN 46556. www.avemariapress.com. All Rights Reserved . ¢