Cuts Sabbatical Elections

The Government has been accused of trying to use charity research funds to offset university funding cuts. This follows the announcement of plans for a 40% increase in university laboratory charges. The move has been condemned by research institutions, and medical charities are threatening a mass pull out of research at British universities. Over 400 scientific posts are under immediate threat following warnings from the Cancer Research Campaign (CRC) that it intends to cancel its £25 million investment in cancer treatment. The CRC scientific director, Professor Gordon McVie, said 'we are not going to pay more to do the same research. We will spend our money elsewhere in our institutes'. The overall figure that could be affected is £300 million annually. Most of this money comes from medical research charities such as Use your vote carefully. Look what happened last time. the Imperial Cancer Research Fund, Fifteen candidates have declared 18 seconders; and Rick Bilby, and Sarah Harland, proposed by the Cancer Research Campaign, the that they are standing for an IC proposed by James Briadt, with 12 Steve Newhouse, seven seconders. Wellcome Trust and others. In the Union sabbatical post. The seconders. The sabbatical campaign is past these bodies have paid for campaign begins tonight, when The last time that five candidates wound down by the Felix editor research project costs while sabbatical papers come down at ran for president was 1985/6 and it election. The three candidates are: universities have provided support 5.30pm. Eleven of the candidates is believed that one additional Jonty Beavan, proposed by Richard facilities such as technicians, are fully seconded and the other candidate will be standing for Eyers, fully seconded; New libraries and administration. The four are expected to have president by the time papers come Election, as before; and Toby new Government funding plans difficulties in ensuring they are fully down. The deputy presidental race Jones, proposed by Sarah Harland, require universities to cost and seconded. is a straight contest between Phil fully seconded. charge for the real price of research With little known about the Sharp and New Election. Both Twenty other students are in their laboratories. This could lead candidates the campaign is in candidates are fully proposed and standing for non sabbatical posts. to a price rise of 40%. danger of becoming completely seconded. An earlier candidate, These are handbook editor, The consequence of this is likely anonymous, but hustings are Charles Tomkins, withdrew from honorary member of council, to be a cut of 40% in the value of expected to breathe life into this the contest over the weekend. academic affairs officer, welfare research projects. David Bowles, worthless corpse. The Honorary Secretary (Events) officer, external affairs officers, rag the vice provost of University The presidential candidates are: campaign has produced a choice chairman, ents chairman, ICCAG College London said that in 1990, Anthony Baldwin, proposed by selection of five: Nick Allen, chairman, UGM chairman, University College accepted £9 Bruce Hall, and fully seconded; proposed by Laurie McNamee, women's officer and housing million in donations, but will now Chris Davidson, proposed by Mark fully seconded; New Election, officer. have to charge an additional £3 Jackson, also fully seconded; New proposed by Steve Farrant, no This information was correct at million. Liverpool University Election, proposed by Steve seconder needed; Aled Fenner, the time of writing, though more researchers have warned that 'if the Farrant, and in no need of proposed by David Goddard, fully recent developments may render research charities refuse to pay, we seconders; Angelo Gardini, seconded; Stefan Smith, proposed this story innaccurate. will be in dire straits'.(iCNN) proposed by Richard Murray, with by Chris Pease, eight seconders; Manifesto Issue — see pages 14, 15 & 16 Letters Felix 928 28 February 1992

C&G Dinner and Dance AIDS Dear Adam, Unfortunately (here comes the expect from these people. I am writing to say what a great gripe) we did not hear a word due Now I understand that everyone Awareness evening I had at the C&G Dinner to the noise generated by the tables had had a few drinks, and I agree and Dance at the Waldorf, and to at the far end of the hall. that the PA system may not have thank everyone whose hard work Their continual chattering and been quite adequate for the size of Week made it a night I will never forget. drunken cackles were illtimed to say the room, but everyone could see As you no doubt know, the guest the least and showed an extreme Mr Symes was talking. Surely they of honour was Bob Symes (better lack of courtesy and manners. could have kept their mouths shut known as the old eccentric, with the Tim Proctor (C&G Pres), having for a few minutes like the rest of us. Dear Adam, amazing beard and moustache, struggled through the same They were downright rude. AIDS Awareness Week from 'Tomorrow's World'). He embarrassing hub-bub during his Ten out of ten to Mr Symes for 24th-28th February 1992 struck me as an interesting speaker, speech, discretely walked round to carrying on like a true professional. On behalf of the organisers of the and I hear his after-dinner speech ask them to keep it down, but Marianne Goggin, Aids Awareness week we would was highly original and witty. obviously this was too much to Physics 3. like to thank you for the space which was given to this initiative in the last edition. However we were somewhat concerned and perplexed by the photographs used in support Felix La rceny of the articles particularly the one Dear Adam, Dramsoc, Imperial College Union, further £1,800 by ICU and £1,000 which appeared beneath the heading This is to let you know that I was City & Guilds Union, Royal School from the Rector, the remainder 'The Terrence Higgins Trust'. Not responsible for the removal and of Mines Union, Royal College of being offered by the CCU's. only was this picture wholly reallocation of the copies of Felix Science Union, Conference Office, In fact this money will never be inappropriate considering the assigned to the Old Chemistry Sherfield Safety, Security and the used as ticket sales covered the subject matter, it also sought to Building. This action was Holland Club amongst others. underwritten costs, so the trivialise the work of this unjustified and uncalled for. Agreed, the first night was rough production cost approximately organisation and our attempts at However... around the edges, as may be £2,000. Hopefully, now we have increasing people's understanding I find it difficult to have much expected, but after that I found little tested the ground next year's show of a serious issue. respect for any publication that will truth in the article in question. The (the Great Hall has already been The Aids Awareness Week is one print, in the fashion of the tabloid most notable 'mistake' being the booked) will be cheaper to stage. of a number of health and welfare or gutter press, an article which quote T found myself wondering Perhaps there is a sublime policy initiatives which the College and the contains so much that is not even where £8,000 of Imperial College of 'something for everyone' at work Student Union will be running. We misinformed fact, but sheer fiction. money had gone', I can tell you in the innermost depths of the Felix hope that any future articles will I refer of course to Steve now that at no time was £8,000 of production staff. Because after all have constructive and relevant Newhouse's 'Grease Review', a Imperial College Union (ICU) the above rant there is a section of supporting illustrations, if any are man who by his own admission had money likely to go anywhere as Felix that I regularly enjoy, that is considered necessary. never seen a show on this scale in they had only subsidised the show the travel documentaries often Yours sincerely, rehearsal, or on the stage at this to £1,000 (including Opsoc and featured, these are always Ola Oluiode, college! Surely then not the most Dramsoc show budgets), as had the interesting and amusing, Employee Relations Office on qualified writer to report on a show Rector. The rest of the £8,000 show congratulations. behalf of IC Union Welfare that for a few weeks united Opsoc, budget was underwritten by a Yours faithfully, Committee and the Personnel and Darren Holmes, Chem 2. Administrative Services Division. Libellous piece of Journalism Dear Adam, division the 4th team should play in, 3rd teams do not deserve this football is. Who was responsible for the I have been through the football wording after working especially I would like to end by saying that, libellous piece of journalism club archives, which go back to hard to achieve places near the top if we had wanted 16 lines of accompanying the ULU football 1984, and found that IC4th's have of their respective divisions this fallacies to accompany the tables, league tables in FELIX, issue 927? always played in Division 4 making year. we would have provided them I took the effort to get the ULU the possible promotion even more 4. My biggest bone of contention ourselves. If, in future, you write tables to you, and in return I did not impressive an achievement. It is, in regards the end comment: a piece about the football club, expect some 'journalist' to write fact, the 5th and 6th teams who are 'What more can you expect from please have the decency to ask me cynical, incorrect and down-right playing in a division 'too high', such a pathetic lot?' for the accurate details—I am bad mannered rubbish about which is due to the past effort of Perhaps this was supposed to be available in the Union every Imperial's six mens football teams. those two teams, earning some sort of joke—well it wasn't lunchtime for football club I would like to take this themselves promotion within the very funny. business. opportunity to put the record last three years. It isn't just Felix staff who put a In conclusion, after reading the straight. 2. I read that: great deal of work into the article and noting that Felix Francis, 1. What is being implied by TC 2nd's have an outside chance successful running of their club, I of Imperial, is currently captaining writing: of winning Division Two'. think we could all do without these the University of London football TC4th's are in danger of being In the football club we consider cheap, negative jibes. team, we in the football club are of promoted to Division 3 (where they it a very outside chance, partially Before the author accuses us, the the opinion that our Felix is better should be in the first place).'? due to the fact that IC 2nd's play footballers, of being pathetic would than yours! It is a great achievement to gain in Division One! he (or she—we also have a very Yours, promotion, and certainly a credit to 3. It is nonsensical to write: successful ladies team) like to bring David Buckle, Club Captain, the college for an Imperial team to '...propping up 4th place...' his/her boots along any Wednesday Imperial College Association do so. It should not be described as Teams prop up bottom places in or Saturday and find out for Football Club. dangerous! As regards what a division, not top ones. Our 1st and themselves how pathetic Imperial

2 — 28 February 1992 Felix 928 Editorial

'was a little rough around the a newspaper that it can't print edges.... but after that I found little something. Also - look at how many truth in the article in question.' articles there are in this issue of editorial Does he expect reviewers to be Felix - does anyone honestly expect clairvoyant? You cannot base a everyone concerned to be contacted review on a performance you over each article before printing? If Many thanks to all those members Felix Office over Monday, with no haven't seen. Apart from that, I you do, why don't you do it. You of College staff who responded to accompanying pictures except two thank him for the letter, and I hope only get the Felix that students put the survey on pages 12 and 13. line drawings and a Terrence his collegues follow suit, though not work into - you only get the Union Even so, I fail to understand why Higgins Trust leaflet. I did expect necessarily at such length. you deserve. a number of them submitted their some AIDS information that week, Libellous Journalism Credits responses at 3.00pm on Tuesday, but was not given any indication as Does it never end? My response to Andy T, Mario, Sam, Khurrum, way after the 12.30pm Monday to how much. I had to find some David Buckle's letter is simply to Poddy, Stef, Richard, Peter Wright, deadline. This meant that I had to semi-relevant pictures myself, no say a serious sense of humour Ian, James, Catherine, the other repaste the entire page and I didn't pictures at all would have resulted failure seems to have occured here. Andy, DHB, Rose, le Pingouin, finish until 2.00am the following in a completely unreadable layout. Why be so sensitive? For God's Howard Lee, Simon, Boris, Jonty, morning. I gave the survey two If you can't help, then put up with sake there are more important Declan, Toby, Jeremy, Steven, all pages because I allocate pages on my decision. things in tne world than the College staff who responded to Monday afternoon. This would All things said, the letter was complaining about piffling little the survey, Chris Riley, Stuart, have looked reasonable with the better reasoned than most criticisms comments which aren't going to Marge, Bee, the partially number of responses I had at the I have received recently, and more affect anything anyway. We seem masticated black bin liners of the time - but now it looks extremely effective because it was concise and to be on the old chestnut of telling back and opaque fungus progeny. cramped. Do they not know the to the point. The long waffly rants meaning of the word 'deadline?' that have been filling up the letters Lack of sleep gets me very ratty page recently are becoming very indeed - anyway, thanks for tedious. responding, even if it was late. Larceny Letter Union Rant In response to Val Straw's query I hope that the other DramSoc or Dear Adam, drinks prices—another attack on concerning Union ties - the OpSoc people responsible for the Election time again? I was going to students' already depleted pockets, acquisition of ICU Colours allows Felix theft of four weeks ago can write what I thought of the and bookstore staff, with their petty you to buy the tie, it is not provided. gather enough courage together to candidates, but apparently I'm not rulings (no Switch transactions I wonder why the Union considers do the same as Darren Holmes has allowed to do that. Censorship from below £3, even though Switch it an honour to allow those this week. Own up for your actions ICU Tower again. Apparently it payments cost them not a single honoured to buy a tie. - there will be no victimisation. Mr would influence the elections!! It's penny!). Aids Awareness Holmes brings up an interesting supposed to. It's supposed to So what do I suggest? You will In response to Ola Olulode's letter point - that he has no respect for prevent the same situation as this have two options. opposite -1 do not think the picture publications that print sheer fiction. year, where we get incompetence, 1. Listen to the rhetoric, and see was wholly inappropriate, after all Does this include letters? Steve self-interest and sod-all concern for which pathetic specimen is least the Terrence Higgins Trust's modus Newhouse did not write that the students. unconvincing in their pledges to operandi is to never avoid review, and if he had he would be But the Union permanent staff are work for the students, or unsavoury images, to avoid coyness eminently qualified to report on no better (no, not you Rose and 2. New election: kick out the and euphemisms, and by so doing 'Grease' as he had sacrificed a Andy, before I get cut brutally). I'm JAMMS. to encourage all types of people to weekend afternoon to see the talking about the receptionists, who Love and Hugs, ask for help. Many people enjoy rehearsal, which was so awful it have seats so they can look down Poddy fantastical sado-masochism - merely was decided that it would be unfair their noses at the students, and still Poddy has asked me to inform the because some people find the idea to base a review on it. The first keep them stuck up; the catering world that I would not allow this unsavoury is no reason to pretend night was the latest performance staff, who manage to provide stingy letter on the music pages. Might it doesn't exist. Equally, I would from which a review could be portions, overpriced chocolate, I add also that all letters on the like to point out that seven pages written to be published that week. occasionally(l), when the machine letters page are the opinion of worth of AIDS stuff appeared in the Mr Holmes says that the first night actually works and still make a loss, individuals and I have little right leading to subsidy from higher to censor them - Adam. Philosophy Answer Dear Adam, space. (In fact, given in O's, there perception of O-space). perform actions which had Colourful Philosophy: some are likely to be in Realities.) 4. 'O finds that everything neatly consequences). It's now easy to questions. 2. 'Everything O knows about fits into units with no leftovers, each imagine O-space evolving through, In Felix 926, Alva Gosson that universe comes from his with a name.' Gosson's notion of for instance, the time dimension. presented 'a possible colour perceptions'. This is an incredibly O-space seems far too idealistic! The branches of the tree can be scheme'. I would like to make some strong statement, refuting all/any Does this mean that everything is perceived to grow, die, interleave: comments. The comments are existence of a priori knowledge. But complete, that all problems have O-space continuously restructuring. presented in a fairly arbitrary order. is this so, then anything that O solutions? 6. '...cells simplify messages...'. Summed up, they may be trying to thinks, find, believes, or is troubled 5. The idea of O-space as a huge Why? Can observers' brains not say that Gosson's colour scheme is about has no absolute basis. For tree of connections is an interesting assimilate complex structures? too idealistic. instance, 'O finds that observers one. There is, however, no need to 7. Gosson's world is about 1. 'A region of that universe is have a brain in which...': how can hold it 'lifeless' and hope that it has mechanics. But there are deeper, thus in duplicate'. Why? If a region O be confident of this statement 'more diversity an colour'. It may more fundamental questions. Why, of O-space is independent of all when the sole basis of its truth value be that O-space evolves through for instance, does O-space exist at perception than Reality (i.e. O's is O's sense-date? many dimensions. Suppose, for all? Why does O exist? How does perception of O-space) will not be 3. 'O thinks about 'O-space'. By instance, that the units (which O know that he exists? the same. These should not, definition O cannot do this! O can connect to form the tree) were Samin Ishtiaq, therefore, be any duplication of O- think only of reality (i.e. his inependently active (i.e., they could Computing I.

— 3 — Reviews Felix 928 28 February 1992 The Last Boy Scout

Bruce Willis needs a certain boost to his career after the abysmal Bonfire of the Vanities and Hudson Hawk. This is, in my opinion, his best outing since Die Hard (the first one) and although Mr Willis still needs to discover the wonders of Gillette Sensor, his personality fits the role of P.I. exceptionally well. Joe Hallenbeck (Brucie) has not had a good life. Once one of the nation's top secret service agents, he had a run-in with a dirty politician and one frame-up later, and Hallenbeck lost his job, his pension, everything but his gun. Even his wife's getting hot and steamy with his best friend and his daughter draws pictures of Satan- Claus!! Hallenbeck is now a dirty two-bit LA P.I. whose best friend is killed just after having handed him a small-time case (and having banged his wife). This small-time case gets horribly gunned down in front of her boyfriend (Daman 7 swear to God there's a review missing' (c.f. Darwen) Wayans) Jimmy Dix. Cue for a crusade to uncover a conspiracy to legalise gambling. Jimmy, has his own problems bei^g the victim of 'frame-up united', once football player extraordinaire, but now someone who buys 650 dollar leather trousers. The interplay between the detective and the athlete, both refugees from violent professions who become targets in an even more violent world, is what is probably most interesting and the script goes far beyond the standard 'two guys who don't like each other at first, but then...' plotline. What is appealing about The Last Boy Scout is that at its heart it's a tale of redemption. Hallenbeck and Dix are two lost souls who find themselves through helping each other and by joining efforts in a common cause (sounds shite, eh?), anyway, Shane Black (screenplay) writes amazing action scenes; the characters are so fully drawn that you can almost smell them and their environment, and as is now common-place in films of the hard- boiled private eye genre (i.e. Die Hard, Lethal Weapon, Beverly 'You fart like that again, I'll blow your God damn face off' Hills Cop) it has a very sharp sense FX side, infinitely better than out; it certainly isn't a load of poo. of humour. all, the best all-out action movie in Lethal Weapon, Die Hard etc, a ages, one that does Bruce Poo. It has an 18 certificate so we are very high blood count, plenty of Moonlighting Willis proud. Even guaranteed plenty of overkill on the close ups on the head shots, all in the Big Bronze Bap says check it

— 4 — 28 February 1992 Felix 928 Reviews Life Support Clever

Play by Alexander Ostrovsky There are those fringe shows that translated into English by Rodney just don't have it. When the Ackland production might as well be done Showed IC 20,21,22 Feb 1992 at a big theatre—only it would be You are Yegor Gloumov. You better at a big theatre. When being are a man with style, intelligence, small is just an excuse for not being good looks, and a sharp wit. All you good enough. Life Support by the lack is money. Oh yes... and a Parti Pris Theatre Company is not conscience. Armed with these lethal one of those. weapons, and in alliance with your The short play is set in a hospital mother, what do you do? What will during visiting hour. It consists of hassle of life: the hospital as an they have one of those folding your ambitious soul start to crave four separate scenes with four intermediate and not all unpleasant hospital screens on rolls. In the end, for? patients and their visitors. The play stage between life and death. It is a whole surrealist scenery is created Power. Money. Standing in describes the loneliness and this ambiguity that makes it possible with just a hospital bed and its society. Sofar, so good, we have an isolation of hospital life: 'Have you for the show to be depressing and covers. This show can only work intriguing story of that rarity; an brought me me needles?' He has, funny at the same time. The on a small stage and it shows what intelligent politician, and a very in a bag, but there's only one. characters are simple but so well an advantage a small stage can be. dangerous man. He, fortunately for 'What am I supposed to do with one and lovingly acted that they do not Life Support. Parti Pris Theatre the rest of the inhabited world, has needle?'—'Knit.'—'You need two. collapse into cliches. Company. 9.30pm until 8 March a flaw. That's the standard. That's how it's What is really special about this (not Monday). Etcetera Theatre Any man who lives a life of lies, done.' production, however, is the (above Oxford Arms), 285 Camden whose very face is constantly But the patients experience also amazing and innovative use of the High Street. £4.50/£3 concessions. showing false emotion, must have the comfort of peace and quiet and stage props and the integration of 071-482 4857. some point of reference which he the relief to get away from the dance and noise. Instead of a curtain Boris. can regard as truth. Yegor Gloumov uses his diary to express his true feelings, and hold onto his true feelings. This is a useful device, not The Roadshow only in that it prevents insanity setting in, but also, it provides a Camden High St, take bus 31 or government in turmoil cannot handy plot device for Yegor's tube (Camden) and pay £4 provide. paper-thin world of lies to break (concessions) plus 75p Paulina's husband Gerardo down and fall about him. membership. (played by Bill Patterson), a Upon discovery of the diary, all Pico. prominent official in the new proclaim that they had never trusted government, observes his wife's him, and that he was no longer irrational behaviour as a seemingly welcome in polite society. He turns innocent man Roberto (played by this around by pointing out comes to town and we follow a Death and the Michael Byrne) becomes the victim everybody elses lies to each other, couple of youngsters getting ready of Paulina's vengeful obsession. and opening up so many secrets that and excited on their way to this Maiden Death and the Maiden is a nobody has reason to blame 'mega-almighty' event. As the play gripping play which tackles anybody else. progresses we realise that there is important political issues on a The production was by Stage more to this festival than music and personal level. The play was a Right, a London amateur dramatics sexual intrigues. It becomes clever look at the turmoil and group. The presentation was in the increasingly clear that the pressure uncertainty a new democracy amateur (but in the nicest possible of hedonism can be lethal. inevitably produces. Many way). Delivery was not always The highlight of the play is the questions were left unanswered perfect, and recovery after lost lines well performed scene enacting the allowing the audience to draw its was a little stilted, but the rapport horror of making decisions at a own conclusions. between the members of the staff hectic burger bar. Death and the Maiden is set in a All three performances were was excellent, and the witty Walking down the stairs after the Latin American country and is convincing, especially the portrayal conversations flowed fast and play you think: what was this? A about a nervous and paranoid of the complex character of Paulina furious with hardly a break. new edition of the Brave New woman called Paulina (played by by Juliet Stevenson, which was Finally, names to look out for. World theme of a monster-state? Juliet Stevenson). She had been brilliant. This is a play which is Outstanding performances were DJ-hero Smooch as Big Brother? reduced to the pathetic state by the definitely worth going to see, in given by Jonathan Lewsey as The whole plot remains rather tragic events of fifteen years fact, it should not be missed. Kroutitsky, the doddering fool, and nebulous. The poor acting is previously. Death and the Maiden has just Ginny Statham a Madame compounded by the cliches of the The years of a cruel dictatorship opened at the Duke of York where Tourousina, the religious nut. script, which is their exaggeration had left Paulina powerless to bring the price of tickets range from £5 Finally the plug. If you are and not even funny. the perpetrators to justice. The hope to £18. Student standbys can usually interested in joining Stage Right or Anyway, if you want to see for of a new era hits the country like be obtained half an hour before the want more information, call yourself, in the tiny but personal a wave and with it Paulina's desire performance. Box Office 071-5122. LynWitte on 071 608 1638. venue of the Etcetera Theatre, 265 for immediate justice, which a Koby. Stef.

— 5 — Music Felix 928 28 February 1992 River City The Joshua People Candyland Trio - - ULU - Rainbow Underworld which could lay a minor curse on its predicted success. So, Rainbow doesn't look fit to give Candyland the commercial break they may deserve, but is The fact that the crowd here looks Rainbow is the latest to rise from entertaining (did I say like rejects from a physics lecture, the Candyland stable. The original 'entertaining'? or would 'nice' be with a few added women for track has a style returning to the better...) in all variety of forms, balance, is neither here nor there. more mellow aspects of the boys' especially Chapman's swinging There were too many men in suits music; a cry from Kingdom and mixes... style, this was a very amusing to be just record company reps, and probably more commerically (I think) my name is Pat. evening. I'm am now thoroughly there was a bloke in front of me in appealing. Having said that, the ^Rainbow is released on cheered up and not that pissed off ill-fitting, pastel green trousers, I difference doesn't really span a Fiction/Polydor on March 9. with Mega City 4. In case you kid you not. I soon moved away. millenium (as they say) and bears Candyland play at the Borderline on haven't guessed, The Joshua Trio Call the fashion police. an uncanny resemblance to Maker March 7. are a U2 pisstake. Where Abba Boo Hewerdine, tonight's have Bjorn Again, and Simple support act, promoting his new Minds have James, U2 have The album Ignorance, has a nice Joshua Trio. And they deserve acoustic guitar sound, and an them. Pompous rock gits. amusing line in inter song banter. Thundering through the essential Siobhan Maher, lead singer of U2 discography, tearing all of them River City People has no such gift apart, segueing other songs in, such of the gab, but her voice is stunning as DefLeppard's Pour Some Sugar when singing, particularly to an On Me into God Part 2. Their acoustic version of Carry The highly disrespectful treatment of Blame in the encore. Her coat is Where The Streets..., One, quite nice too, in a greeny, velvety Mysterious Ways, and the rest is sort of way. She's certainly got just the beginning though. They something though, as her band seem have readings from The Good Book to have been multiplying over the - the gospel of Bono, they tear into past six months. There were six of Sinead O' Connor with Nothing them tonight, and there only used Compares 2 U2, and the lead singer to be four. Most disturbing. has an unstoppable desire never to The band thunder through their stay on the stage for more than two set, drawn from both their albums, minutes. He crawls around the and this is where a minor moan dancefloor pretending to be a dog, comes in. The songs from the debut running round the whole venue on album stand head and shoulders a hobby horse, climbing up over above most of the newer stuff, the barriers, and generally harassing only two lights from the second the, in the main, unsuspecting album being Tfie Sea and Mi7e High audience. Cafe. The new single, which But therein lies their only they're presumably here to problem. The fact that as soon as promote, their second biggest chart they start selling out venues, or hit ever (Fact!), is the one of the Candyland: Not looking like Madness in the slightest. moving up to larger stages, he worse offenders, though not the won't be able to. It looks like they lowest of the low, and at least they will have to make some sacrifices. managed to restrain themselves Because sooner or later, they are from playing their biggest Ocean Colour Scene - Sway going to start being massive. (California Dreamin'), much to the Lise Yates disappointment of one particularly of the Bahamas. This makes it quite The Joshua Trio release a sad character next to me. Even so, likable, despite the first track on the Country and Western version of the songs from the new album second side sounding like The Fly 'soon.' sound better live then they do on the something, well to be honest, that album, which leads to the possible shouldn't be allowed out of its hole. conclusion that the album was over Two years ago this would have been Gun produced. Hmmmm, just a minor This takes me back. The heady days interesting, now its only interest is moan though, and once I became of 1990, when I was still a teenager, in realising how similar everything - Steal Your able to ignore the audience, it was when you couldn't slag off Robert was back then. An album out an enjoyable evening. Maxwell, before Bryan Adams was shortly, they're starting to tour Fire Lise Yates number one. A re-release of a single again, are we going to see Ocean Standing In The Need Of Love is I can't really recall and I'm finding Colour Scene two? If so they had available now in good record shops hard to remember even though I better do better than this, likable is everywhere. It is also available at listened to it not an hour ago. The far from lovable. Our Price. name is so apt, the mood is Pebbles definitely one of extreme *Sway is available on Fontana mellowness, this record washes now. Ocean Colour Scene play the Total crap. over you like the crystal blue waters Marquee, March 13. Pebbles

— 6 — 28 February 1992 Felix 928 Music

Thousand Yard Stare —Hands On

instrumental, with the shipping forecast at the start. Nonplussed was presumably some other reviewer's opinion of The most coveted CD to be thrust the track of that name, and into Felix's paws for many moons, Absentee returns to the 0-0 a.e.t. TYS open with 0-0 a.e.t., in which style, both thematically and the lead singer, Stephen, prattles on musically, albeit slightly slower, about the end of a relationship in and somewhat devoid of football. terms of footballing metaphors, Last Up, First To Go is where the while the rest of the band try to lads really discover the Eight work out how to recreate that Legged Groove Machine, and Steve authentic Wonder Stuff sound. The campaigns for the (totally thought occurs that it might be his justifiable) demolition of the obsession with football which Hammersmith Odeon, shitty venue caused the end of it... Skipping over and host nation of the 1992 brits Thisness, in which he gets over it, awards. and finds a rhyme for ancestry, and Drawing to a close, with another the lads figure out that Stuffie e.p. cut, Buttermouth, which makes sound, and onto the latest single, very little sense lyrically, and is Comeuppance, a track which goes distinctly indie- rockie. Wideshire on too long. is where our Stephen sings about Cottager is about how he feels "aspiring to greatness in the abut England, for TYS are typically afternoon' and the lads bring the English; The boys get into a more album to a close. jangly feel, which they retain for a Well Aard. redone Seasonstream. Dominic the Lise Yates drummer does some additional Hands On is available now on Thousand Yard Stare in swirly picture shock. vocals on this track, so to retain Stifled Aardvark/Polydor: Aard balance the next track is an 008/513-001. Silverfish - ULU Total Fucking Asshole forcing us to see the entire set, instead of slinking off to the bar would work for any other band. Take note, lesser mortals. Incidentally, has anyone noticed When you go to a gig, do you that Creation are taking over the expect to see a man set himself on indie charts? (Rhetorical, darlings) fire? This is not a prize question, Lise Yates it's rhetorical. (No it's not, Mr. B., Silverfish's With Scrambled Eggs it's a potato.) ep is lingering around the top of the No, you don't. We did when we indie charts. Silverfish support went to see Silverfish. He is a EMF on April 30, at the Astoria. professional fireman, so don't try this at home, kids. Silverfish with scrambled eggs Silverfish have thus gained themselves a place in the hall of Ingredients: f(l)ame. And they deserve it. They lib. silver fish, 8 eggs, lib lard, actually earned it through the rice wine, gourmet powder, salt. indisputable fact that their caustic sound is of cosmic proportions. Method: Lesley prancing around stage in a Wash the silver fish clean. Cook in nightie, like a Scottish whirlwind, boiling water until tender and drain. is also a majorly frightening Pour shelled eggs, rice wine, experience, enough to scare any gourmet powder and salt in a bowl reviewer into giving a good review, . and'whip. Put lard into a heated especially when you see her up pan. When the oil is hot, pour in close. ULU is too small a venue to egg mixture. Stir-fry over low reasonably expect to contain such flame for a few seconds. Put in the a fearsome character. The cunning silver fish together with lard. Again ploy of making us stay to the end stir-fry for a few seconds over a Silverfish: Without scrambled eggs. to hear Hips, Tits, Lips, Power and medium fire and serve.

— 1 — Music Felix 928 28 February 1992

Magical Bollox

This week starts well, and then...There's a distinctly Irish feel this week: tonight The Sultans of Ping FC, from Cork, at the Borderline, but if rumours from upstairs are to be believed, they're playing here next week; 1000 Yard Stare—a nice young five piece from Slough; and Frank and Walters: the men in orange, from, err, Cork. The Frank & Walters may or may not be playing inside the student bedsit that is the Camden Falcon on Saturday, but their competition is stiff. Nutmeg and Trash, who were reviewed in issue 924. See Dramsoc if you want to read that review, and they'll decide whether you can go, and Scorpio Rising in Windsor. It sort of trails off after that, with only the Forget-me-Nots on Monday to brighten things up. (They're Irish too, actually.) That's it. Poddy, Music Ed.

particular era that Claytown Troupe TONIGHT Claytown want to emulate - that of 'Sanctuary' The Ween 1000 Yard Stare, Frank & Troupe and the like, is the best phase - The Venue Walters, Spin. they've been through so far, and Astoria £6.50 -Wanted It All considering their current direction, Turn right out of Exit 1 of the one they're most likely to. Tottenham Court Road Tube. It has been pointed out to me, just Sultans of Ping FC, Good now, that, if you take the letters Question Derek C,U,L and T out of Claytown Borderline £5. Troupe, you can make the phrase Right out of Exit 1 of Yawn Report (if you change an O Tottenham Court Road Tube, The recent migrants from Island to to an R, that is.) right, right at Foyles, right EMI America ( What Time Is There's nothing much else I can them. again., Love? ), Claytown Troupe, want to say. If you like The Cult, you'll like But hang on one moment there. be The Cult. That's OK though, this. I liked this. Let's remember that even though SATURDAY because The Cult want to be Guns Lise Yates they may have nothing to say, Scorpio Rising, Sensitize 'n' Roses. Someone has to, I guess. 'Wanted It All' is available on neither have most of the rest of the Windsor Old Trout, £4.50 Assuming that there's nothing Monday on EMI America. bands. And with their recruited On the riverside. Windsor. wrong with being The Cult, because Claytown Troupe support Pearl Jam bassist Kramer from Bongwater The Frankly Spencers there isn't, especially around the at ULU tonight. (Sold Out) (don't say 'who', you ignorance Camden Falcon bastards), the sound and atmosphere Turn left out of Camden due to it are great, even if some of Tube along Kentish Town The Fall the moshers are a little malicious Road, when it meets Camden and the set is splattered with Road, turn right along Jeffrey - Free Range amusing incidents. The stagediver St, until you come to a pushed off the stage by Kramer, triangle, and it's on your Mark E Smith Poet or Miserable Bastard who landed on the floor and was right. Mark E Smith Poet and Miserable Bastard then pulled back on stage by him; Nutmeg, Trash, Helium Mark E Smith Lover of white sliced bread Kramer's attempt to give away his Divers Mark E Smith pourer of scorn on all things except.. microphone stand, and a near riot Euston Rails Club Mark E Smith at the end when all the band joined It's on Euston Station Mark E Smith 'Your mystic jumpsuits cannot hide the stagedivers in the crowd. A concourse, apparently. Your competitive plagiarism.' most enjoyable, if slightly Free Range Delectable transatlantic evening. MONDAY Cheap Imitators 'Note books out plagiarists.' Lise Yates. Forget-me-Nots Free Range Play it until my head throbs Tfie Ween are unsigned in Borderline, £5 Mark E Smith Zarathustra! Britain. Their albums are available See above for directions. Davros Crippledick. on import through Shimmy Disc.

— 8 — 28 February 1992 Felix 928 Feature

Dawn broke gently over the confronted by a bearded man in his sprawling city of Damascus and the twenties wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Peter Wright cars began to prick the fresh pink Across his chest he held a morning with their tinny horns. Kalashnikov assault rifle. I stood in meets a cat and On the eighth floor of a grimy front of him feeling a little hotel just off of Martyrs Square I nonplussed. He pushed me out of was sleeping peacefully. The fan the way with a helpful shove from crosses the hummed quietly and the cool air the butt of his AK47. made the curtains billow across the Half asleep as I was, it suddenly open window. dawned on me what he wanted. Hooghly river in The muezzin from a nearby Obviously he had come to shoot the mosque began the call to prayer and eat. his words floated mournfully At 5.00am, having just been his travels to... through the quiet streets. One by rudely awoken it seemed perfectly one other voices joined in until the reasonable to me that any thoughtful morning sky became a haunting hotel manager worth his salt would table of exultation. regularly send round young men I opened a reluctant eye to look armed with machine guns to check at my watch, not wanting to dispel for stray cats. I began to say 'No the fleeting world of semi-sleep that really. It's ok, the cat wasn't any I was currently revelling in. It was trouble, you mustn't shoot...' a little after 5.00am. Slowly I became aware of another presence in the room, something was moving around. A scratching Damascus noise came from the other bed, over which my luggage was strewn. I opened my eyes and half sat up. The Calcutta My first memory of Calcutta after confusion. People jostled all around leaving Howrah Station was but he didn't move, he just stood walking over the huge Howrah and stared out across the Hooghly. Bridge which spans the Hooghly His rags flapped in the thick wind River. and the foot-long thread of mucus The bridge is a squat construction that hung from his nose swung like of girders that hangs over the river a pendulum. He just stood and in a grey fog of its own pollution. stared. He was an empty shell, like Cars, buses and lorries thunder over he was made of sand. I felt that I it tangled up in the screams of their could flick him and he would own horns and the wailing of their crumble away into nothing. He own engines. From a distance it watched the hazy buildings could almost be condensing from compressed by the heavy brown the vicious gut of cloud around it. sky. He watched the Hooghly run A slow accretion of waste, both under him, textured like vomit and material and human. all the while there was nothing in his eyes. They were an absence, the The sidewalks were black emotion of loss. They were as tarmac, dusty and spattered with big hollow and empty as the space left clots of mucus that lay like open by a missing child. oysters. I stepped over beggars who had no limbs, just lay on In a second he had disappeared newspapers, not even bothering to behind me amongst the swallowing beg anymore. Slowly they are tides of people and I was swept on becoming a part of the bridge, their towards the waiting city. skins are turning the same shade of As I stepped out from the stifling grey as the girders that they slump framework of the bridge the against. They are petrifying under atmosphere began to thin slightly. cat that had been clawing my newly My voice trailled off as he started layers of poison, fossilising, turning The metallic greys drifted into the cleaned trousers froze like a statue, going through my bags with one into gargoyles. malignant browns and yellows of glaring at me with frantic eyes. hand. The other hand was on his People bumped into me and endless lines of buildings. They 1 barely had time to register what trigger. I stood in my boxer shorts didn't notice, they bumped into stood in uneven rows like rotting was happening when, without and watched. each other, trod on beggars, spat on teeth. Cars and buses flowed around warning, the cat leapt straight When he had finished he walked the road, pissed on the pavement. them in angry currents that snarled through the open window. It didn't straight to the door and without Porters ran backwards and forwards and fought with serpentine frenzy. even touch the frame. looking at me just said 'Police'. He with huge loads on their heads, In front of me a man blocked the I layed back on my bed and tried closed the door and I heard his sweating. Their sandals clicked like narrow path as he leant against a to remember whether or not there footsteps echo down the hallway. ticking clocks. They swore, pushed wall and urinated. As he finished a was a balcony outside. Seconds- ,' -I scratched my head, walked over people out of the way, raced each taxi pulled up alongside me and the later, as I was slipping back into the to the window and leant out. Eight other and then were gone, driver wound down the window. cosy arms of sleep, there was a floors below an old man was talking swallowed in the noise and dust that 'Welcome to Calcutta, I take you sharp hammering at the door. I to a taxi driver as he tried to get a bound itself around them like twine. somewhere nice. T looked at the swore and got foggily out of bed. dead cat off of the roof of his Halfway over the bridge, a man scene around me and doubted that The hammering got louder. When pavement stall. There wasn't a stood silent and motionless, not very much indeed. 1 eventually got the door open I was balcony after all. even blinking in the hellish

— 9 — Opinion Felix 928 28 February 1992

I'll just like a moment of your that allows them to come together Mind and matter are related. time to share something rather and form the inanimate. They both have the same common special with you. It's a little about Inanimate objects have another denominator, Quality. They aren't everything, life, computers, ice- Quality that allows them to come separate entities, although our creams, sex etc. and in particular together to form life. intellect can function without you. Biological organisms group' knowing how the inanimate is Before I go on, I want to together with another Quality to created or why the inanimate is introduce an interesting concept, form a society. created. Each level in the hierarchy called 'Quality'. 'Quality' is In order for societies to interact, functions like a virtual machine. undefinable. We can understand another Quality creates the intellect. Just like a computer programmer 'Quality' in how it manifests or The final Quality is one that needs only to know how a program shows itself but not why it does so. allows intellects to be groups works not how it's created much It's probably a little vague at the together. Artistic Quality is an less what an npn transistor is, to live moment, but if you'll bear with me, integrating or uniting factor in a society, we only need to know it'll clear up soon enough. between the hierarchical levels. its rules and laws. Quality manifests itself in many Quality gives rise to everything. At each level within this forms, one of them crops up in the (See diagram 1) hierarchy, there exists varying arts, when I ask you why you like The Qualities found between the degrees of evolution of that level. There are high Quality biological organisms and low Quality ones. Everything that Quality creates has itself Quality, sort of like the Quality not Quantity Mandelbrot set analogy. Someone like Leonardo Da Vinci had a pretty high Quality mind, not just intelligence Quality but artistic Quality as well. Similarly, at the society level, something is considered right or good if it has high Quality. The fact that the problem of society has not yet been satisfactorily resolved is due to the, lack of context. You cannot come to a conclusion of what's acceptable if you don't know where you stand. Sort of like a dog chasing its tail. It goes round and round and round and finally stops from dizziness...back to square one. Since Quality has given rise to these values, then we can see that the hierarchy evolution of Quality has precedence in determining rights and wrongs.

A doctor, in order to save a patient has to kill the germs in the patient. The patient wants to live, the germ wants to live but the person is at a higher biological state of evolution that the germ. If a person isn't putting others at risk then society has no right to kill him because the intellect is at a higher level of evolution than society. something, you'll probably reply biological and social levels and In everything, there exists a static Life, the because it looks good, but why? It's onwards in the evolution are 'Mind and dynamic factor. Imagine this simply because it feels so. What I'm Qualities' whereas the ones below person who did everything society talking about is artistic Quality. It's are 'Matter Qualities'. In our field expected, followed all the laws, was Universe and there but you can't define it. of knowledge, quantum physics and very moral and ethical. This is Although there are some principles biochemistry are the closest fields essentially a very static person. But Everything. that determine what good art is, to their corresponding Qualities. one day, a sudden spark hits him (or they aren't enough to turn us into (See diagram 2). her or whatever) and he didn't like Van Goghs or Rembrandts. Science asks why certain things something about society. So there Howard Lee Let me show you another occur, and for a while it can go on he goes creating a huge upheaval. example, we all know that all matter explaining why, but sooner or later For a while society's standards just is held together by electrostatic it'll hit Quality and it's stumped. condemns him, but what if people looks into the forces, i.e. positive and negative Even if someone could explain why began to see his point of view and charges. Unlike charges attract and unlike charges attract, then his also liked what he was making all like repels, but why is this so? We reasons must be explained too the fuss about. So he becomes some indefinable all know how it works but we don't and... revolutionary leader and changes know why. Quality again. Break The realm of Quality is just like society's outlook. It's never as any concept down far enough and a big black hole that defeats human simple as this but that's the quality of you'll have Quality staring at you. comprehension. Defining it would principle. Particles have a certain Quality always make it less than what it is. What keeps us from reverting' Quality. -10- 28 February 1992 Felix 928 Opinion back to our primeval ancestors is good bet that Quality's view would is divided against itself. Society these conditions. At this point I this static factor. The thing that score higher on the chart than doesn't approve of sex much. It's think if people could see the causes it to change is the dynamic 'everything's in the mind'. We're tolerated but it scores pretty low on courage, the environment can turn factor. The dynamic factor is just not talking about right and wrong its Quality chart. It's become a lot around to help. Whatever it is, the something that arises, weld by here, Quality simply decides which more liberal on the subject now but later approach is better than ending Quality. We all can sense this is better, we all decide which is in some cultures it's still a big no up with a mental breakdown. This Quality, when someone does better, and it'll be something we no. However, as long as we can see hypothetical person isn't so something, whether it's high or low accept until a better Quality the context, then we should be able imaginary at all. There's always a Quality even if it may contradict approach comes up. to deal with it. If society can't bit of him or her in all of us. life society's laws. If we support it, then Now, if you'll take a moment to tolerate it but biologically it's pretty just isn't always a sweet double we can enforce change. Good and reflect: just what am I? I am not just good then it should be kept at a fudge chocolate sundae. Quality bad are relative until something the intellect, not just society personal level. What's more to say? isn't a belief, it's a way of seeing. better comes along. Although they instincts. What do you think Maybe one day casual sex would be The question of what initially may be arbitrary values, Quality emotions are? Love, sexual desire. acceptable morally in society but gave rise to Quality and where it's does keep a sharp eye on it. To say that killing and murdering should be decreed legal by a society is pretty much nonsense because it goes against the evolution of Quality. To hold a society together, the Inanimate Matter inhabitants won't be allowed to destroy themselves voluntarily. Quality A dynamic advance is pretty pointless unless it can find some Biological static pattern with which to protect itself from degeneration back to the Quality conditions that existed before the advance was made. Evolution isn't Social Mind a continuous forward motion, it progresses in ratchet like steps. Some dynamic patterns simply ua aren't good enough to form latches. DNA is essentially static Intellectual information but the shift in cell reproduction from mitosis to meiosis to permit sexual choice allows huge DNA diversification, a dynamic advance. hate. They are biological Qualities biological organisms sometimes heading relates to our concept of If someone were to come up with that affect the mind. Sex is a very tend to be quite possessive of their God and the absolute truth. The fact a proposition that may be nothing high biological Quality, make no partners. that we can't define Quality makes exists, may be everything is in the doubt about that. Hate is a pretty We're all looking for something it pretty meaningless trying to say mind and you can't deny it because low one. Killing is wrong...society in life and the answers are to be what God or the absolute truth is. no one knows the absolute truth; instinct. All these Qualities make found in ourselves. Quality's The Quality that can be defined is just what would you say'.'....Well, us. All our experiences shaped us. outlook is a whole new perspective not the Quality. The God that can in Quality's context, Quality has its We are really a manifestation of our to everything, it unites science and be defined is not the God. The own view and this person has his environment. What arises conflicts the arts, mind and matter, subject absolute truth that can be defined is own view. Both views are presented is the clash between values of the and object, life and the universe. not the absolute truth. If something to the public. It would be a pretty hierarchical levels, when the mind There's just one last example that did create Quality and if it is you should think about. Imagine heading some direction then follow this person who tried to do Quality, that's the best thing we've everything right. What if life got...it created us, no doubt about A, Inanimate suddenly took a plunge, and that, it created the universe, it keeps everything just became worse and us alive and in turn we can give rise Electrostatic forces, worse. To lose everything and find to Quality. chemical bonding. out there's still something else to We're all but a grain of sand on lose. an endless beach, each unique and Life is one big downpour. I don't special, taking and endless time to Biological think this person could help but describe. I was never born and will think 'Why has God forsaken me? never die. When the time comes to DNA, proteins. I've been good, why are all these depart, I am like a snowflake things happening?'. You see our dissolving in air... concept of absolute good and evil, 'Nobody would deny that even how right it seems doesn't phenomena determines the always fit into reality. For a lot of theoretical system despite the fact /R\ ' Socia people, when reality shatters all that there is no theoretical bridge their beliefs, they are drawn very between phenomena and their Moral codes, ethics; close to insanity and atheism. Now, principles.. .There is no logical path 1- -t gives rise to communication. say if this person still had faith in to these principles, only intuition, God but also had the Quality resting on sympathetic- outlook. Even how bad everything understanding of experience, can Intellectual gets, it's just life, it's just one of we reach them...' those miserable things. Mentally, —Albert Einstein. Democracy, freedom of speech; this person would be stable but (Adapted from 'Lila' by Robert -in order to relate depressed. I think this individual's Pirsig, a truly remarkable genius.) communication, intelligence. faith in God would strengthen under Howard Lee (ISE1).

— 1 1 — Feature Felix 928 28 February 1992

To most people at the College who get the chance to see the internal Dr R F Eastwood Mr A S J Fraser telephone directory you are merely a name with a connected room Director of Planning and Managing Director and telephone number. Over the past term a number of students have Management Information Angus Fraser—Managing Director asked me what Mr so-and-so actually does, and I frankly do not know. Services —joined IC in November 1989 after Many students have remarked on the serried ranks of numbered boxes My job is centred around the 21 years in industry/commerce, that comprise the Sherfield building and wonder what the people inside process of developing the College's including four years as public them actually do. The names above may appear rather random, but academic, financial and estates company director—responsible to they are the most commonly questioned College personalities, covering plans. This involves liaison with the the Rector for the efficient running most aspects of the College. Universities Funding Council who of the Central Administration, If you would like to enlighten the students and staff of IC could you give us our main grant, negotiating which is dedicated to giving first send me a short piece of 100 words or thereabouts detailing such facts with external organisations who class support for the academic as what your present job entails - what you actually do - with its have, or would like a financial activities of the College and to relevance to students at the college. As a guide of what else could be interest in the College, exploring providing an improving range of included, you could write about how long you have been at IC, how variations in the way we distribute amenities and services to staff and long you have been in your present job, what you were doing resources to departments within the students. previously, what you think your main achievement has been whilst College and discussing with you have been here, what your main objectives are for the future and departments the implications of Mr J D Griffiths what, roughly, your background is. their plans. Just as much academic IC Union Deputy President Naturally, you are at complete liberty not to respond to this, or not work is becoming more No reply. to answer any one of the above questions. The results of this survey interdisciplinary, so is some will be printed in the Felix of February 28, if enough responses are administrative activity and I work Ms Z Hellinger forthcoming by Monday 24 February this year. All the responses will closely with colleagues in all the IC Union President other administrative divisions. We be printed verbatim. No reply. also run the main administrative On the 20th January this letter was sent out to the members of the College computing software systems of the Mandy Hurford named below. My thanks are extended to those who responded, and a College—Finance, Payroll, Union Manager Personnel, Registry and Estates and supplement to these results may be published if more answers are returned. I have been at Imperial College also provide this service to two Union for 15 months. Previous to other Schools of the University. this I have done the same work for I have worked in the College eight years in two other colleges. theSurvey since December 1987 coming from Following the major refurbishment the Natural History Museum. My of the Union Building last summer Mr M A Aldridge Planning Group) which advises the academic background is in biology, I would see my main objective Controller of Financial Services Rector on short term and strategic specifically neurophysiology. being to encourage and facilitate No reply. issues. Another role which the Pro much greater student involvement Rector believes is important is to Mr S Farrant and participation in the Union and Professor J S Archer work with the Deans and Heads of IC Union Honorary Secretary its services. A second objective Pro Rector Departments in bringing a wide (Events) would be to open up better channels (since September 1991, in range of views to bear on strategic No reply. of communication with College succession to Professor Bryan development and planning in the staff and to provide continuity Coles, FRS) College. Ms C L Fox within the annually changing The Pro Rector is essentially the In the course of carrying out these Directpr, Personnel and sabbatical and committee network. deputy for the Rector and is thus duties the Pro Rector is in frequent Administrative Services Personnel concerned with a wide range of contact with Student Union Immediately before joining Imperial This includes overseeing the academic and administrative Officials, College Tutors and a wide College, two years ago, I took three administration of all staff matters which influence the College spectrum of members of the years out from a career in the recruitment and dismissal environment for staff and students. College. The Pro Rector's office is University of London, on procedures, staff training and There are however some particular on the 5th floor of the Sherfield secondment to the Department of development, staff personnel and duties for which the Pro Rector has Building and he has administrative Health, where I was responsible for staff meetings. With the Union responsibility—namely the conduct and clerical support from Jenny Training and Education policy. employing over thirty people this is of Academic Promotions (with the Lewis and Vicki Cowan. As Director of Personnel and an important part of the job. Deans) and the control of finances Administrative Services, much of House connected with equipment and the Sir E A Ash my time is spent on 'staff affairs', This includes organising all repairs academic development reserve. The Rector but three areas of the Division are and maintenance and advising and academic promotions help develop No reply. of special interest to students. I am negotiating with external and retain high quality teachers and responsible for the Safety Unit and contractors for developments and researchers at the College and the Ms S Crampton its staff, Ian Gillett, Martin Jones improvements to the Union results therefore have a direct Residences and Christine Wright, and advise Building in consultation with influence on the quality of education Manager/Accommodation and the Rector on College Health and College. for our students. Conference Manager Safety, the Catering Department, Finance and General The Pro Rector has another I started at the College in managed by Simon Westerman, and Administration emerging role to play in helping September, 1990 as Business the 'youngest students' of the This means ensuring that the smooth the interface between Accountant. Since May, 1991, I College, the members of the Day Union's financial procedures are academic and administrative issues. have been the Accommodation and Nursery, looked after by Sue properly maintained and that Academic management tends to Conference Manager with the Thornett and her staff. expenditure is controlled to operate through committees and the responsibility for all management Over the last two years, I have previously agreed budgets. Pro Rector chairs a new one aimed matters relating to residences to developed the College's Health and Trading at increasing the influence of Heads Conference facilities. Safety arrangements, the impact of This entails monitoring all the of Departments in key decision which is just beginning to be felt by Union's trading outlets in such a making. The Heads of Academic Mr P F Docx Academic Departments. The Day way as to provide a good service to Departments Advisory Committee Chief Executive of IC Consultants Nursery recently celebrated its 21st our students and still be financially is an important link between the Ltd and Company Secretary of birthday and will soon be returning viable. The Union Manager is also Heads of Academic Departments Imperial Activities Ltd from Week's Hall to its revamped one of the two Licencees of the and the MPG (Management No reply. home at 9, Prince's Gardens. Union Bar and as such is

—12— 28 February 1992 Felix 928 Feature

responsible for ensuring that all organising and servicing the example, substantially improving problems! My greatest achievement licensing regulations are adhered to. Governing Body and its committees student accommodation, 'de- so f.u was being awarded my social and dealing with constitutional grotting' the campus and colours from ICU last year—what Mr G Marshall issues. establishing a student hardship happened to the tie by the way! Director of Estates I read Economics at UCL, did fund will be directly beneficial to Director of Estates, responsible for National Service in the Army for a IC students. Dr D B Thomas co-ordinating all the activities which couple of years, then joined the My own working experience is Pro Rector (Research Contracts) fall under Estates, i.e. New central University of London administrative and academic (1 am Dr David Thomas, as Pro Rector Buildings. Development planning. administration as PA to the then a historian), I worked in (Research Contracts). has Maintenance, Conferences, Principal, subsequently spent a institutional fund-raising in the responsibility for the College's Security, Athletics, Telephones, couple of years in the University's United States and the UK for seven portfolio of research grants and Residences. Court Eepartment and then came to year* before taking up m> contracts which earned £43 million My main area of activity is the Imperial College in January 1959 to appointment here in January 1991. in 1990/91. 32% of the College's introduction of new computerised join the Planning Office concerned lotal income. A wide range of management systems to give with the expansion and rebuilding Mr K Reynolds sponsors is involved including effective management information of the College in the 1960s. I Chief Security Officer research councils, government and control, plus the introduction of became Registrar in 1967. I have been at the College since departments (both at home and a CAD system for all plans of You asked for my view of my August 1991. coming from a abroad). the European college property. These are main acheivements: only being similar position in the media Commission, charities and basically the foundations on which mentioned in the pages of Felix half industry. Prior to entering the industrial companies in Europe. to build a modern estates system. a dozen times in all these years security world 1 served in the Kent America and the Far East. I have been at this college for 18 perhaps? Surviving this long'.' Main Fire Brigade, South Australian Fire Negotiations with sponsors are months in my present post, and objectives for the future? To Brigade. Australian Customs undertaken by staff from the have spent my earlier career in the continue to survive! More Department and the Australian Research Contracts Office in university sector. seriously, having been Chairman of Federal Police Force. conjunction with the academics the Harlington Athletic Ground Security is a subject that effects concerned. Once a contract has Mr P.E. Mee Committee for many years, and everyone at the College and it is my been signed, staff of the Contracts Registrar and Clerk to the President of the Football Club since function to ensure that the best Administration Office take over Governors the early 1970s (although they have service possible is offered to staff responsibility for invoicing, etc. My current job title is Registrar and probably forgotten this), I would and students alike. Both officers are part of the Clerk to the Governors. I am dearly love to see an enhancement The security department is Industrial Liaison Office which responsible overall for running the of the College's sporting prowess changing and we will obviously go itself has the additional role of Registrar's Division covering the and facilities. But I have not got through a teething period but I can promoting increased activity in following: student admissions to the much longer! assure all concerned that the research on better terms of contract. College, both undergraduate and ultimate goal is an upgraded service Dr Thomas is also ass

I am proposing Tony Baldwin as Due to the fact that Imperial me, Tony Baldwin, a thoroughly Union President because he is the College is one of the largest fine chap. biggest pisshead standing for the drinking institutions per capita in Bruce Hall job. Being Real Ale Society the country I don't believe the A Baldwin chairman this year he is used to average student cares about carrying firkins of ale and should anything other than beer. As find no difficulty in carrying off chairman of RAS, longstanding 3,500 copies of Felix should a RAS CAMRA member and beer review appear. Due to his connoisseur extraordinaire I believe unquestionable ability at throwing I have your interests at heart. up he should also find it remarkably Instead of using the Union bar easy to cover the union concert hall profits to subsidise trivial matters, in sticky gunge. His training in the such as student welfare, ents discos diplomatic corp should ensure that & gigs and miscellaneous sponges he pisses off a number of people and ie Dramsoc, beer prices would be should overcome his natural slashed. This would enable more disadvantage of not being a member students to continue with their of Dramsoc. Vote Tony he's a drinking degree and continue our thoroughly fine chap. high alcoholic reputation. Vote for

PRESIDENT Chris Davidson proposed by Mark Jackson

I am a second year physicist. Last There are many other small tasks a good job and provide an unbiased year I lived in Falmouth Keogh hall that the ICU president carries out service for all IC and Mary's and am now non res. including insurance, reciprocal students. membership and telephone use. Some of my ideas include :- THE JOB a) Trying to revamp the housing The job of ICU president involves WHY ME? lists issued by the accomodation to overall organisation of the union I have a wide ranging experience of make them more user friendly. including staff and union officers. college life and have held several b) Try and keep the price of beer It also includes areas of positions of responsibility, both down. Based on our barrelage we responsibility decided by the elected and non elected. I organised should have prices that reflect other president and vice president, several functions in Falmouth student union prices. including academic affairs, Keogh Hall in my first year. I have c) Try to increase the amount of accomodation, sport, welfare, also been heavily involved in the welfare and academic literature transport and overseas students. RCSU as a Theta bearer and as available in the union office. The president also sits on various transport officer. Overall I want to run the union college commitees, including sensibly and for the students. governing body, house commitee THE OVERVIEW and refectory users commitee. They I don't want the job for the power, CHEERS, AND BE GOOD!, also chair ICU exec and the money, or something to do. I CHRIS. disciplinary. want it because I think I would do PRESIDENT Angelo Gardini proposed by Richard Murray

Firstly, I will carry out my The Union structure is very I propose that there be a weekly, responsibilities professionally and complex, with many committees informal meeting between Union to the best of my abilities to ensure and procedures. This deters officers and students to highlight that the Union provides the best students from getting involved. The problems and to discuss ideas. Felix service it can for students. I am not Union must be made more will be key to keeping students a hack or involved in petty union accessible to students and informed and "opening up" the wrangling: I want to see the responsive to problems. I have Union. I propose a regular page in organisation running as effectively learned, through Chairing a Felix where we will keep students as possible. (Huxley) society, that teamwork, informed—both generally about The Union events have been cooperation and communication are what the Union is doing and also excellent this year, but key—both within the Union and what was discussed in those improvements in outlets are due. between the Union and students and informal meetings and any progress The aspect of what the Union is the Union and College. I would made. Thus, a dialogue would start supposed to do but does not do very hope that College would also be and problems would be solved well is to provide a more open and that we could quicker. 'communications network' for cooperate—where possible: If we students to voice their views and for think what College is proposing is the Union to try and solve the reasonable. IF not, and the only problems and represent the student course is for "industrial relations" view to College management. to break down, then so be it.

—14— 28 February 1992 Felix 928 Manifestos PRESIDENT Howard Jones proposer to be announced

Excerpts from the full manifesto refreshments during breaks between implies that books may be stored. (available from your department lectures. A special Felix- A service will be made available soon, and all over college from reading/Non Felix-reading seat whereby any student producing Monday) allocation service will operate on valid union identifications will be Fridays. able to store books overnight, or 1. Only candidates with at least one possibly for longer periods. Top 20 Hit Single to their name will 12. To reflect the international be accepted to stand in IC Union nature of the College, all union 25. All Union General Meetings sabbatical elections. signs shall be made multilingual, shall be held at the geographical with Arabic, Chinese, French, centre of the college. This is in the 3. The Queen's Tower shall have German and, space permitting, middle of the Long Water, Hyde extensive building work to install a English. Obviously, once this Park. Life jackets will be made rotating bar in the top. Further to precedent has been set, College available on requestand a live video this, the Queen's Lawn shall be signs should also be changed. link to the bank will be provided for used as a beer garden (weather non-swimmers. This motion is to permitting). 15(b). Further to 15(a), to improve get the St Mary's vote. security, Felix will be wrapped in 5. Usherettes shall be employed in Grease-proof paper. 34(d). No walruses all college lecture theatres, to find a seat for latecomers, and serve 17(b). The name 'Bookstore' 35. vote for howie

DEPUTY PRESIDENT Phil Sharp proposed by John St-Hill

I'm Phil a mathematics 3rd Year. somewhat strange individual. humour would make him an I'm standing for DP. Basically Security & Discipline :-Phil has excellent candidate for Deputy DP is involved with all the money often shown himself to be a President and I urge you to vote for side of the Union. He looks after the responsible individual with good him. Bar, Bookshop & Catering and organisational ability. This, chairs the Union Finance together with his understanding and Committee which decides, amongst approachable nature will bring a other things, how much money human side to ICU discipline. clubs are allocated. Mascotry :-Phil has played an I won't give you all the lies about active part in RCS mascotry over what a wonderful hedonistic Utopia the last three years. the Union will be if you vote for Finance & Management :-Phil is me. I just promise to do my best often involved in financial side of John St-Hill (Maths 3rd Year Rag and assisted Laurie and myself ex RCS Vice-President) on Phil on numerous occasions counting Sharp and banking money. I have known Phil for 3 years as Phil has always been a trusted and a friend and member of ICRAG. supportive friend. I believe that his Through out that time he has always skills and natural ability together been a mature and responsible if with his easy-going sense of HON SEC (EVENTS) Nick Allen proposed by Laurie McNamee

During my time at Imperial I have I am not going to sit here making the summer. thrown myself into college life. I rash election promises. I will do the -Increased use of the union as a am an ex-Royal College of Science job to the best of my ability as hireable venue. Union Honorary Junior Treasurer defined by the constitution to ensure -Investigating the possibility of and edited Broadsheet, the RCS a smooth ride for all IC and Mary's computerising room booking, newspaper, in my first year as well students. However, my ideas for the streamlining the service for clubs as the RCS handbook. I have also inclusion of innovation into the and societies. been heavily involved in IC Rag, Union include: -Investigating the possibility of being one of only four members of -Trying to get a better Ents employing a full time ents officer. the £1000 club last year. I am licence to encourage bigger names This is not a slur on Ents, but an principal cellist with Imperial to IC, and promote more up and attempt to increase the already very College Symphony Orchestra, and coming acts. professional nature in which ICU is am at present organising their -With the forthcoming run. forthcoming tour to Hungary. refurbishment of the concert hall, I feel my experience makes me The job of Hon Sec is a disparate showing films twice a week with the well suited to the post of Hon Sec. one. It includes responsibility for co-operation of Film Soc and ICSF. Vote for me. Rag, Entertainments, room -Promoting bar and snack bar bookings, as well as facilities over the Summer vacation. Commemoration Ball, Freshers This will have obvious benefits for Fair and the sabbatical work split. students and postgrads present over

—15— Manifestos Felix 928 28 February 1992 HON SEC (EVENTS) Aled Fenner proposed by D Goddard

I'll be as brief as possible; Concert Hall into a regular cinema This is the bit where I, the proposer, 1) BALANCE! I don't know if showing good, recent films at tell you all what a great guy Aled you are a house/rave addict but I reasonable prices. is and how good he will be at the believe that IC events have been job. Aled's a great guy, and he'll excessively biased towards this OK these are the basic concepts that be excellent at the job. Felix are recently, there are other musical I have. The reasons that you should very stingy about how many words tastes around, we ought to have a trust me are that I am friendly, I can put in, so I'll probably be cut mixture so it averages out with approachable and have a working off in mid senten something for everyone. We need knowledge of the way that the a 'suggestions box' so that your Union works. ideas can be used as IC events. I'm on good terms with most of 2) Bar Extensions; we could get the people that I would work with a late license for the union bar and I've never smashed a piano in which means that we could have as my life. Elect me and I'll do my many extensions as we want, nice best for you. huh? I think we ought to push to Aled Fenner, easier to get hold aquire this. of than Heroin and a lot easier to 3) Gigs, more top name bands? hhhhandle. For a sense of balance 4) I.C. Film soc and Sci-Fi joint and fun please vote for me. productions? We could turn the

FELIX EDITOR Jonty Beavan proposed by Richard Eyers

Felix is regarded by too many horror, even classical music. to hold meetings outside the Felix students outside the Union Building Features I would ensure Felix Office to get feedback on how as irrelevant to them. This will not initiated debate, by performing its people feel about our newspaper. change until more Imperial and St own investigations, drawn from a All I need is your support and your Mary's students become involved in range of points of view not just the vote. It only takes 3'/2 seconds. what happens in Felix and the print same old people having a go at each unit. I will try and make Felix more other again. representative in several ways; News As news editor I have helped Reviews Felix receives tickets to all to set up Imperial College News national film releases and most of Network (iCNN) which is all three the theatres in West London. This college media (IC Radio, STOIC is far too much information to be and Felix) working together to included in 2 or 3 reviews pages. cover news. I think shall expand I would expand the 'what's on' this to include communications with section to provide a proper other Student Newspapers and entertainments guide to our part of Universities. London. This will not be enough to get Music Music pages will cover a students involved in Felix. This can broader range of music; this could only be done by making Felix more include rock, cajun and shock, accessible to every student. I intend

FELIX EDITOR Toby Jones proposed by Sarah Harland

Toby is one of the originals. He with closer liaison with clubs and St.Mary's and departments around walked into the Felix office on the Ents. college. first day of his first year, and never A lively letters page, prize escaped. In that time he's mastered competitions, and controversial Print Unit everything, from writing to reviews could be a recipe for an The print unit is currently under wrangling, and is one of the few to interesting read during boring heavy demand and clubs are losing have mastered the fiendish Friday mornings. Felix doesn't out on publicity. I am confident that typesetter. He has the three qualities carry enough cartoons or humorous a better service can be offered so for an Editor - wit, diplomacy and articles - I could blindly promise I will be working towards making insomnia. more but it's only possible to print the print unit into a separate Union If in doubt, ask Toby. the material received. Making the outlet. This would leave the Felix Felix office less imposing would Editor to concentrate on producing Felix encourage students to submit their a top quality paper whilst ensuring It is important that Felix informs work; I will strive to make visitors that Union print work is processed and entertains. To continue to welcome and give encouragement promptly. deliver high quality, in-depth news, to budding authors. Vote for a Felix worth stealing: I will be backing the news network Giving you the opportunity to Toby Jones iCNN, which unites Felix, Stoic voice an opinion is a theme close and IC Radio. In addition, the to the heart of Felix. I won't hide What's On page will gain new life, in the office, but visit Silwood,

—16— 28 February 1992 Felix 928 Advertisement

YSTEMS OF ISLAM

A stable and just ruling system, respect Tor male and female similarities and differences, the system that brought the firstuniversities , stable employment levels, zero inflation, negligible crime rates and pure ideological struggle Isn't it time that you took a closer look at Islam?

KHILAFAH RULING SYSTEM (Tuesday 3rd March, 12.30pm Rm 408 Elec Eng)

SOCIAL SYSTEM (Thursday 5th March, 5.30pm, Rm 542 Mech Eng)

EDUCATION SYSTEM (Tuesday 10th March, 12.30pm, Rm 408 Elec Eng)

ECONOMIC SYSTEM (Thursday 12th March, 12.30pm, Rm 480, Elec Eng)

CONSTITUTION AND JUDICIARY (Tuesday 17th March, 12.30pm, Rm 480, Elec Eng) FOREIGN POLICY OF THE STATE (Thursday 19th March, 12.30pm, Rm 480, Elec Eng)

Announcing a series of Lectures covering aspects of the Islamic ruling system arranged by the Pakistan Society of Imperial College.

— 17— Opinion Felix 928 28 February 1992

With a recommended gestation across the Gobi without a map or Numerous proposals are dreamt up period of three years, giving birth compass? The trouble is there is no at parties or in the pub. Sweeping to a PhD thesis can take anything map of the PhD. This mystical generalisations and massively from between two and ten years. invertebrate beast is without grandiose ideas conceal Few are ever premature and forty definition. A physics PhD thesis can impracticalities and unsolvable per cent of PhDs started are be as slim as twenty pages. Earth problems. Surely a project which is terminated at between six to thirty- science theses sometimes run to to keep the attention of an individual six months of age. There is no such three volumes. 'You're a bright for three years deserves more thing as a normal birth, many lad.. .do something clever for three thought. requiring caesarean sections. Why years and write a story about it' is But these alcohol-hazed, crack such a high mortality rate? It perhaps the most accurate definition pot projects need converting into appears that most mistakes are I've yet heard. real science; a task which is all too made at the moment of conception, But beware, blissful as this might often impossible. For example how by couples consumed by false sound, your final bouncing thesis is Helen going to investigate passion. must, (in the eyes of the examiners) subsurface faulting in South African Too many students blunder into contribute something new and Mines, when local law bars women a PhD project without even original to the scientific community. from stepping underground? Few considering what it's all about. The No mean feat for someone without proposals pause to even check that appropriate computer facilities are available in departments to support such projects. Pregnancy of a PhD Love can make you blind, and only too often students tempted by superficially glossy projects, refuse to see the pitfalls which lie in the road ahead. So you are going to interpret radar maps of Io but the satellite isn't quite in orbit yet. 'Don't worry it will be sending back data by the end of your first year— which is always spent just reading anyway.' But remember if it develops a fault twelve months later you will be left up a certain watery channel without a certain wooden instrument. Make sure you are guaranteed some data to work on. 'The geochemistry of Antarctic carbonaceous chondrites' might mean a couple of freebee trips to the snowy continent; even the advertising blurb seems to guarantee this. Although you're not particularly turned on by the thought of dissolving extra- terrestrial rocks for three years, you'd do anything for a trip to Antarctica. Anyway, anything is preferable to the empty job market, isn't it? But when you turn up for the interview and enquire about whole lifestyle of research is far a map. Not only have you got to fieldwork, the desperate supervisor Chris Riley removed from any structured reach that distant town, but you admits that 'the meteorites will undergraduate existence or graduate can't follow a previous route. actually be from a dusty museum trainee scheme. No first degree can Which direction do you set off in, collection, and the project is really waves adieu to prepare you for the confusion and and how long do you walk for lab based with little chance of any indecision of that first year. Unlike before changing tact? However travel'. Not really where a budding his doctorate in the PhDs of other European independent a student feels at the Sir Vivian Fuches wants to spend countries there are no lectures, and start, there comes a time when the next three years. It's a good job no course plans. You have nothing one's research methods need you asked before you signed away circa one more specific than a vague essay verifying for a reassurance that you your life to be tethered to a test tube title and a deadline over one are heading in the right direction. for the next ten thousand hours. thousand days away. It is entirely In those first six months it is too Question your real motives for thousand words DIY and the 'freedom' is tempting to stick your head in the stepping into a research degree. overwhelming. The expanse of sand and wait for your supervisor What might have vaguely interested trackless sand and that mystical to pull it out and hand over a you about the sleeping patterns of destination is, to say the least, compass. left handed New Guinnean Tree daunting. Without direction or Unfortunately for many students, Shrews, was really the lack of guidance this distant goal is too far the desert you're trying to cross is alternatives; with a complete out of sight for most students to infinite, and the destination absence of employment for comprehend. Many go round in non-existant. graduate zoologists. Remember you circles for months or years before Too many PhD projects are must eat sleep and breath tree dying of exhaustion 'Doctorless'. simply ill conceived; based on one shrews for 1095 days. One is better How many eight year olds do you poorly researched page of vague off unemployed with time to think, know who could navigate their way text lacking logistical substance. than blindly blundering into a

—18— 28 February 1992 Felix 928 Opinion

Is that your PhD on the floor, or mine? hopeless piece of research which sample and your meagre funding more of Elvis Presley than that man interests you less than accountancy. barely covers the maintenance. who interviewed you. 'Watch out 'Watch out for Then finally you find your dream 'Damn, I wish I'd asked about these for Strangers' says the crime watch project. You don't know much little details at the interview. It poster in the corridor. Underneath about gold mineralisation in might sound obvious to check such some distraught student has written strangers' says Indonesia at this stage, but then things: but most assume that 'It could be your supervisor'. But you're not supposed to. You'll soon appropriate analytical instruments have no fear, you won't be left the crime watch have a degree in Geology and with are adequate funding are alone forever. The stranger is the enthusiasm you've exuded at the prerequisites; they're not! But never guaranteed to return from a six interview you've developed an mind, there must be some way of month lecture tour of Borneo just poster in the instant rapport with the tutor. A investigating paleo-temperatures in time to put their name on the mining company is sponsoring it with a microfiche reader, it's just paper you've dedicated eighteen and fieldwork is essential. It's easy that I haven't done enough reading months of blood, stress and toil to. corridor. to get carried away at this stage. yet!' Weekly or monthly supervision However eight weeks into it your With your head buried in the sand isn't for everyone. Many mature initial reading has simply you sit in the library for another students flourish in neglect. But if Underneath demonstrated the lack of knowledge eight weeks waiting for your you're the sort who needs some about the area. You could copy supervisor to hand over the guidance then make a point of other peoples' methods. After all compass. talking to students with projects some distraught you'd still get different results and Sadly that moment might never already fathered by your that would probably fit the loose come. Gullible students are swept prospective supervisor. If they still student has definition of a PhD. off their feet by cunning aren't 'Dr.' after seven years of But how do you measure isotopic supervisors, with false promises of 'supervision' then forget it. The compositions of fluid inclusions, dedicated nurturing—to bring the 'partnership' of a PhD is not written 'it could with just an Apple Mac and a 'little baby' to fruition. But as soon intended till death you do part. In microfiche reader? Anyone know as you've completed registration general the more eminent the where I can borrow a mass you begin to wonder if you are supervisor the less chance there is be your spectrometer from? Ah...there's sharing the project with Lord of them being there when you need one at Bristol. but it costs £20 per Lucan. In six months you've seen them. You'll probably have to trail blaze with just a 'gut feeling' that supervisor' you're right for months at a time. IMPERIAL COLLEGE Surrogate mothers, prepared to conceive and carry a PhD to ISLAMIC SOCIETY fruition, only to hand over the AND doctorate at the end, are still a long way off. It can be a long and lonely CHRISTIAN UNION path to a PhD, and it's not for those PRESENT who have 'nothing better to do'. Over a thousand days of self- THE DEBATE motivation requires something more than just a passing interest from THE QURAN ™ THE BIBLE both the student and the tutor. Until WHICH IS THE WORD OF prospective supervisors are assessed on their supervisory skills, and not the number of committees and GOD? editorial boards they sit on, the TUESDAY 3RD MARCH 6.00PM number of neglected PhDs, MECH.EIMG LT220 terminated before birth, will continue to rise. Feature Felix 928 28 February 1992

Three years ago, I read in Felix (Sherfield Ante-Room, between the quartet and a flute duet will perform a report about a national study of lifts and the dining room on the in the Union Building Foyer at stress amongst students. The article ground floor). It is free to wander lunchtimes. suggested a number of factors around and the pictures will be for which led to high stress levels. sale. The Arts Week...Gigs These included living in a big city, The Arts Week...Classics A couple of bands will be playing worries about money, difficulties Classical music will be performed this year in the Mech Eng Foyer. with accommodation, high work outside the Senior Common Room One will be Fresh Claim who have loads, and an uneven ratio between (Sherfield Building) most played at The Arts Week twice men and women. The conclusion lunchtimes for your enjoyment. before. was that a fair description of Relax after a heavy tutorial session Imperial College was 'stress city'. to something a little more The Arts Week...Comedy Perhaps above all, the article sophisticated. Alternatively a string Poets and comedians will be entertaining around college and possibly in college bars. What a The Arts Week '92 lark! The Arts Week...Busking Perhaps above all The Arts Week is about trying ot the Arts for yourselves. So if you fancy juggling, singing, clowning, reciting poetry, pavement artistry etc give it a go during The Arts Week (contact Toni Briggs on 8633). Many of the artists who are performing or exhibiting their work are Christian, some perform at established events like Greenbelt. But don't worry they won't be ramming the Gospel down your throat, just putting their effort into improving the quality of your life. All The Arts Week events are free. The Arts Week, 8th to 15th March 1992. Ben Irons, WLC. highlighted a theme which runs Ben Irons, of through most of the factors causing IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION stress amongst students- OVERSEAS STUDENTS COMMITTEE imbalance, i.e. too much work, not the West London enough leisure; too many men, not presents enough women; too high prices, not Chaplaincy, enough good accommodation; etc. INTERNATIONAL It is often said that you should eat a balanced diet to remain healthy. NIGHT '92 introduces the Surely this principle should be extended to all aspects of life, for February 29th 1992 example, getting a balance between Arts Week. work and leisure. 6.30pm-8pm FOOD FAIR Two years ago the idea of having Main Dining Hall an arts festival within college was conceived by some members of the West London Chaplaincy. The 8.15pm-10.15pm INTERNATIONAL Arts Week is now about to run for CULTURAL SHOW its third year, as a week to celebrate the Arts and Music. Great Hall Within a college that focuses all its studies on Science and 8.00pm-1.00am DISCO Technology the Arts can be lost from everyday life. The Arts Week JCR doesn't claim to be the cure for all your stress but it aims to open up the Arts to as many students (and 10.15pm-1.00am LIVE AFRICAN staff) as possible, perhaps helping BAND to restore some balance to our lives. Main Dining Hall The Arts Week can also provide a forum for artists within colleges to perform (contact Paul Brice if you Tickets: £3.50 in advance wish to on internal 8633). or £4.00 on the door The Arts Week...Gallery HURRY, ONLY A FEW LEFT! Pictures and paintings will be Tickets from Union Office and OSC only. Don't miss it! exhibited in the Consort Gallery

—20— 28 February 1992 Felix 928 Clubs & Societies

Judo Championships Huxley During the summer term the IC Judo took six medals at the Huxley Society will be bringing out British Universities Judo an issue of its magazine Championships which were held in EXPERIMENT. We want you to Glasgow last weekend (15th/16th contribute some writing. The Feb). Imperial sent three players as Huxley Society was set up in the part of the London University early '60s to promote the teaching squad, Reg Cook (Mech Eng III), of TH Huxley and the ideas of Kev Brooks (Phys I) and Hermann Humanism. Gottschalk (Phys III). The magazine sets out to examine In the team events Kev Brooks life. It takes as its starting point the fought for London University five idea that beliefs should be man team and took a silver medal, reasonable, and that we should the team narrowly loosing to judge and develop our beliefs by Glasgow in the final. All three IC means of experiment. Such is the players fought in the London area approach of the scientist. The ten man team and took silver coming issue will focus on life medals. Despite being reduced to experience. nine men through injury early on, It is a tenet of Humanism that on they beat the northern area team in the basis of the available evidence, the semi-finals but were finally the probability is that God does not beaten but Scotland in the final. exist. This renders all religion Reg Cook took an individual invalid; but the absence of religion silver medal in the U60kg weight leaves a discernible void. What category and went on to take a religions do is to demand blind faith further silver in the combined in one or other God and go on to British Universities and present an appropriate body of Polytechnics competition and as wisdom. From this wisdom is such is under selection for the derived a set of principles which we British student squad for the (the devotees) are to live our lives, forthcoming World Student and by which we can increase the Championships. profundity of our existences. A non- belief in God should not however diminish the importance of wisdom. Semi-finalist ladies What is required is a wisdom that On Saturday 22nd February, the points. As Birmingham Uni had tiring battle, we were beaten 7-2. has a credible footing. We need to Ladies Badminton team set off to both their mens and ladies teams in It was a very good experience for start from life experience. Birmingham for the semi-finals of the semis, there was tremendous us and even though we lost, we Humans exist and emotions exist. the UAU. Our opponent was Exeter support for them. The hall was were satisfied that we had reached Individually we have ideas about University. It was a bright morning filled with loud cheers for the this far. We truly enjoyed the high what is profound and what is and we had a fairly comfortable Birmingham teams. However, standard of badminton there. (We superficial. There is also a good journey apart from the fact that neither were we, in any way, also saw some England players deal of correlation between the there were a few drunken football intimidated nor discouraged. there!) When we returned to ideas of different people. supporters on our carriage who We went on court, against Exeter London, we rewarded our efforts We therefore ask you for writings were singing on top of their voices, Uni and began our fight for a place by a Chinese meal in Chinatown about what you consider most (they thought they were good!) It in the finals. Exeter had a very (we were starving by then!). fundamental in life. What has was nearly 1pm when we arrived at strong first pair. Although we Everybody had an enjoyable time provided the strongest experience? Birmingham University sports hall. fought bravely, we could not match and are looking forward to next When you are in your deathbed The mens semis were almost their skills. The speed of play was years UAU. what will you have lived for? finished as we watched them dive so much faster which took us a long Submit pieces to Sam Stacey, madly on court for the last few while to get used to. After a long Civil Eng 1, by 15th March. Backdraft Athletics Any of you who missed out on the Apollo mission a year and a half This Thursday before the feature The University of London Inter- Science Museum Christmas lecture earlier. presentation, the audience will be Collegiate Athletics Championships (1991), will get a second chance to All went well with the mission, treated to another classic cartoon shall take place on Saturday 14th see it on Monday, 2nd March in the first to bring back high quality short: Sylvester and Tweety Pie. March 1992 at Tooting Bee Track. Elec Eng 408, at 6.30pm. Just movie pictures of the lunar surface, The main film of the evening will This competition will be a selection follow the arrows from the Elec and 'earth rise' as viewed from the be one of the big blockbusters of process for the University of Eng entrance. The good news is command module. Just three last summer - the conflagration London Athletics team. If anyone what you would have paid £5 for at missions and a mere seven months spectacular, Backdraft. Directed by is interested in attending, please Christmas, you'll get for free with later, man landed on the moon - Ron Howard (Splash and could they contact the Imperial SEDS - what a great organisation! Apollo 11, 20th July 1969. Parenthood), the film stars Kurt College Athletics Captain, Apollo 8 was the first mission to During the talk you will have an Russell, Jim Baldwin, Donald Lawrence Fowkes (Mech Eng III). fly men around the moon, during opportunity to see original Apollo Sutherland and Robert De Niro. There shall also be athletics training Christmas 1968. The mission was hardware and pictures, together Come along and see it for days for students at the Battersea a major step, being only the second with film footage of the mission; yourself on Thursday 5th March at Park Athletics Track on Thurdays Apollo mission to fly, especially which will help to capture the 7.30pm in Mech Eng 220. Entrance at 6.30pm and Sundays at 11am. considering that three astronauts atmosphere of those pioneering is 80p for members and £1.80 for had died in preparations for the first days... non-members.

—21 — Clubs & Societies Felix 928 28 February 1992

The year for S + G, the Outdoor meant breathtaking scenery, dawns The start of the college year in Club, started last summer in the and sunsets, and the magical October also saw trips to the Peak Dauphine Alps of southern France, tranquillity of the mountains. District of Derbyshire and the where for three weeks fifteen of us The mountain bikers in the group Brecon Beacons, where between made our home in the high Alpine tended to venture further afield,, rock climbing or trying to walk in valleys of Les Ecrins National Park. sometimes for several days over the 50mph winds, the club members From there we ventured onto the high mountain passes, but not to be rediscovered their enthusiasm for mountains and, experienced and outdone they also managed an going into caves. On the third inexperienced alike, soon found ascent of the 3000 metre LA weekend trip of the term to the Lake ourselves tackling the big summits. Blanche, in places 'using the bikes District we encountered to our, The first success was on climbing as ice axes'. surprises the first, and only major snowfall of the winter. This was used to full advantage Outdoor by all those eager to do some snow and ice (and waterfall) climbing, on both Bow Fell and Great End, and Insanity by all those who fancied another good snowball fight. Liz, Colin, .. Climbing Glen and Stuart - the mad mountain bikers - also turned a few heads by working their way over snow and always meant ice to the top of Skiddaw and Hellyvelyn, and their determination was rewarded by allowing them to breathtaking virtually ski the decents. The clubs final trip of last term scenery, dawns was to Snowdonia. Although we were not as lucky with the snow, the weather still obliged; starting out in and sunsets...' drizzle, we soon found ourselves in brilliant sunshine as we gained height on the mountains, above a sea of clouds with only the tops of the highest mountains being visible. It was one of the most stunning views any of us had ever seen. After the end of term Christmas festivities, the club set off on its week long winter tour to Glen Etive in Scotland. Those who are familiar with the Highlands in winter will know that it is only for the hardiest, and this year we were washed out by torrents of rain and the floods they brought. Nevertheless, climbers and bikers still braved the elements and the hangovers to enjoy the 4000+ metre Barre des Ecrins, On dates off from climbing we days on such impressive mountains the highest peak in the region. visited the local towns and villages as Buchaille Etive Mor. Honours go From our bivouac on the Glacier and also found time for a bit of to those who climbed Ben Nevis in Blanc five of us set out before dawn skiing at the resort of Les Deux atrocious conditions; Oli and Rupert to follow the glacier to the foot of Alpes. These respites were via a snow climb, and Colin on his the main climb while the snowpack particularly appreciative by Clive - icicle beset mountain bike. was still firm and crisp. From there 'Do you think I'm some sort of The club is now half way through a vertical kilometre of steep snow hardship freak or something?'. this terms activities, and we've slope stretched above us. We had During it all, however, it only already had two more trips to the to make a quick and direct ascent occurred to our chairman that all the Lake District and one more to before the heat of the day allowed snow could be put to a much better Snowdonia. These saw the the snow to soften too far, and after use; a snowball fight! By all reemergence of bivouacking, for long hours of climbing managed to accounts it was an epic Summer those eager, but sleeping suspended reach the summit early on a glorious Tour, and even after most of us had by a harness hundreds of metres up afternoon. returned to England the a rock face is not everyones idea of Later, successful attempts were irrepressible Martin, Phil and a good time. Most opted instead for also made on such notable peaks as Richard continued on to Chamonix the traditional retiring to the warmth Pelvous (climbed by night by from where they climbed Mont of the local pub in the evenings. Coolidge Couloir), the spectacular Blanc. Amongst other things planned for lone spire of Aiguille Dibona whose However, all was not hard work the rest of this term is a barging summit could only accommodate last summer. The clubs weekends weekend on some of the Midlands one person, and beautiful Les Bans. around this country provided the canals, and the clubs week long However the difficulty of mountains perfect antidote to Alpine climbing; Easter Tour to the Isle of Skye. was considerable, and on some in Dartmoor it was the cream teas During the summer term we'll also occasions this together with the at the end of a days walk and in the have another weekend in the Peak severe Alpine storms meant Lake District the same was District and one to Cornwall after abandoning hopes for the summit. provided by the sailing on Lake the exams, agreed to be probably Nevertheless, climbing always Windermere on hot afternoons. the best of the year.

—22— 28 February 1992 Felix 928 Clubs & Societies

IC 1ST WEEK 1 RESULTS

Tue, 25.2.92 Score 1.00-1.30pm Pakistan 1 vs Chem Eng 5-13 1.30-2.00pm Pakistan 2 vs ICSF 1 3-27

Wed, 26.2.92 Score 4.00-4.30pm Malaysian 1 vs Snooker 11-6 4.30-5.00 Malaysian 2 vs Indian 2-11 5.00-5.30 Islamic 1 vs Singapore 9-4 5.30-6.00 Islamic 2 vs IC SEDS 9-6 Indoor Soccer Tournament

GROUP 1 The Imperial College Indoor Soccer take note of the times when they are Tournament duly got under way this due to play, and turn up at least 10 TEAM P W D L F A Pts week, with the first game played on minutes prior to kick-off. Chem Eng 1 1 0 0 13 5 3 Tuesday. In all, 23 teams entered I would also like to draw attention Pakistan 1 1 0 0 1 5 13 0 the competition, rather more than to a few rule changes caused by the Computing I had anticipated. This meant that extra number of teams entered. the first phase of the event would Firstly, the top teams from each Italian involve 5 groups having 4 teams group qualify for the knock-out and one group having 3 teams. With stages, plus the two best runner- GROUP 2 all the teams entered by the 5pm ups. Secondly, the matches will deadline of Monday evening, the now be played over two halves of TEAM P W D L F A Pts draw was made at 5.15pm. 12.5 minutes each. There was also Malaysian 1 1 1 0 0 11 6 3 The fixture arrangement for a typing error within rule 6.5, Snooker 2 1 0 0 1 6 11 0 Week 1 meant that games would be which should have implied that the played on Tuesday, Wednesday, ball cannot go above head height. Bridge Club Thursday and Saturday. At the Finally, due to the Nat West ICFC 2 point of writing this, the results for branch manager being away on Tuesday and Wednesday have been holiday, I have been unable to GROUP 3 published, as well as the group ascertain the outcome of our standings of the teams that have proposal for sponsorship. TEAM P W D L F A Pts played games. Hopefully, I shall know by next Also shown in the adjoining week, when all the details shall be Islamic 1 1 1 0 0 9 4 3 tables are the fixtures for Week 2. published in FELIX. Singapore 1 0 0 1 4 9 0 So could all the participating teams Khurrum. Cypriot Sri Lankan

NEXT WEEK'S FIXTURES GROUP 4 Tue, 3.3.92 Score TEAM P W D L F A Pts 1.00-1.30pm Pakistan 2 vs Lebanese 2 Indian 1 1 0 0 11 2 3 1.30-2.00pm Pakistan 1 vs Italian Malaysian 2 1 0 0 1 2 11 0 2.00-2.30pm Snooker 1 vs Indian Sikh 1 Snooker 1 Wed, 4.3.92 Score 4.00-4.30pm Malaysian 1 vs Bridge Club GROUP 5 4.30-5.00pm Computing vs Chem Eng TEAM P W D L F A Pts 5.00-5.30pm Islamic 1 vs Cypriot Islamic 2 1 1 0 0 9 6 3 5.30-6.00pm Islamic 2 vs Sikh 2 IC SEDS 1 0 0 1 6 9 0 Lebanese 1 Thurs, 5.3.92 Score Sikh 2 3.30-4.00pm Sikh 1 vs Malaysian 2

4.00-4.30pm Snooker 2- vs ICFC 2 GROUP 6 4.30-5.00pm Sri Lankan vs Singapore TEAM P W D L F A Pts ICSF 1 1 0 0 27 3 3 Sat, 7.3.92 Score Pakistani Soc 2 1 0 0 1 3 27 0 6.30-7.00pm Lebanese 1 vs IC SEDS Lebanese 2

—23— Feature Felix 928 28 February 1992

Another boring 9.30am lecture? Want something to brighten up today? How does playing leapfrog- You may think draughts against a team of beauticians, meeting Boy George you're safe in and being on TV sound? Sounds good? Well stop reading this and get over to Covent Garden your nice warm as soon as possible (you can copy up this morning's notes when you return). If you're already in a snug lecture lecture, then you can still come along at 10.30am to get a piece of the action: don't worry about theatre, hut finding us once you get to Covent Garden - you're hardly going to miss a team of beauticians, Boy there are things George and national TV. Still reading? Well stop and get afoot out there, over to Covent Garden now! If you're wondering why everyone has just gone hopping mad, it's for instance... because this is Oxfam's 50th anniversary year and tomorrow, who have spent the afternoon in the pub; and if you haven't yet tried the This is happening now special Leap Frog beer that the Firkin pubs have brewed specially 29th February is leap day and the around each pub; so go and join in, for the occasion, then it's definitely two occasions have been combined, or just support them and enjoy the worth a visit and, needless to say, so the whole country will be leaping brilliant atmosphere. As an all the profits go to Oxfam. for Oxfam - what better excuse do incentive, the pub who raises the Still reading? Well stop and get you need to have a couple of days most money in the afternoon will be down to Covent Garden before it's of complete madness? given a large alcohol prize for those too late! You should be sitting on the tube to Covent Garden reading this by now, so relax and read the next bit on your journey. If you think leap frog draughts is mad, it's only a publicity stunt to catch tomorrow's papers; Saturday HAIRDRESSERS is going to be bigger, better and, 15A HARRINGTON ROAD, yes, even more silly. The event at Battersea Park on Saturday morning SOUTH KENSINGTON (mentioned in last week's Felix) is 071-823 8968 unfortunately off; but in the afternoon, the Firkin Pub leap is We have a fantastic offer for all you still happening, so just go along to students, a cut wash and blowdry your local Firkin pub between 1.00am and 5.00pm, and you'll see by our top stylist a load of people leapfrogging (which normally costs around £21) For only £11 Men £12 Women Check us out! 28 February 1992 Felix 928 Feature BitchWord 1 Bath Rag Raid By Toot'n'Murph

Last Saturday, fifteen students from however seem that all was not one Imperial College went collecting on sided, but at present details have not the streets of Bath and raised £1,145 been released. for UNICEF. The event was the Penguin stated 'It was an first to be organised by the new Rag excellent day. All that took part Raid Coordinator, Stuart Rison. enjoyed themselves, a vast amount The event almost didn't happen was raised and Stuart really excelled when the collection permits were himself in his new post. I'm left behind at Imperial at the start pleased.' of the day. However swift Mr Rison said that the next raid coordination between Mr Rison and will be near the start of next term, Penguin, the Rag Chair who had though the destination is still to be stayed behind to work for the day, decided. Everyone is welcome, and meant that the licences were faxed anyone interested should visit the through to the Bath University Rag office during any lunchtime library where they were collected during the week (excl. Tues) and by Mr Rison and his team. put their name down as being It is alleged that high jinks interested. Mr Rison also extended occurred at Bath before the party his thanks to Steve Newhouse for returned, with the IC minibus being not only driving, but also collecting covered in bugs and having it's £77 on the day. numberplate removed. It does

Across Down I Metallic Courage?(4,2,5) 2 Delve.(5) 7 Leave tail to lessen burden.(9) 3 Is St. Peter ecstatic with the 9 Jean-Paul sat, reflecting.(5) number on his gate?(7,6) 10 Fence a tiger, a bit long in 4 Smear large amounts of the tooth.(5) paper. (5) On Wednesday 4th March, Rag will II 1,7,9,10.(3,2,3,5) 5 Large quantity below Stan in be doing 'what it does best', with 12 Confusing optic subject.(5) trial without king.(l 1) a City of London licence which Next 14 Little bird is a twit.(5) 6 ...is also standing.(3,8) includes mainline stations, the 15 Validates previous 7 Horny little insect visits Gretna London Underground and the So come along to Friday's Rag drooling.(9) Green. (9) Lloyds building. This is a great meeting in the Union Lounge for 16 Edit and Emit will not wait 8 Confusion with a twist of chance for some profitable details. back.(4,3,4) bored lime.(9) collecting. Be mad, be silly, be part of it. 13 Have a cow, literally.(5) 14 Eight aliens join a band.(5)

29th February 1992,

TWmh mm e^HAW 1-4pm.

See facing page for details Great Leap for Oxfam

—25— Felix Felix 928 28 February 1992

So, what's this about elections year's campaign - I don't think Dear Marge, Dear Marge, running a week early? It seems last anything's changed. I wish to complain about the I have been thinking about year's Sabbs messed up with EGM Phil Sharp's the only one standing patent lies you wrote about me in running for a sabbatical post but I timing and what with changes to the for Deputy President - should he get last week's Felix. am anxious that my sordid past will byelaws and the constitution, the in because he's unopposed? And I was not in fact present at the affect my standing. I spend much whole thing's a joke. Angelo Gardini (Christopher recent bash in Fisher Hall held oh of my time being groped by three At least we've got two good Davidson and Anthony Baldwin are behalf of the Lexham Gardens Flat women - but that's not the problem. candidates for Felix Editor, Toby also standing for President) hasn't Ten Batchelors Black and White Please don't mention the strawberry Jones and Jonty Beavan. That's even been seconded yet. party. jam... more than I can say for the other That wonderful news reporter, Having not been invited, I Perturbed from London. Sabb posts. How am I going to Declan Curry, has been seen trying considered it bad form to turn up make an informed choice, with four to coordinate iCNN by running uninvited. I therefore returned to 90 people standing for Hon. Sec. around annoying anyone. Talking Lexham (for which I qualify as Dear Perturbed, (Events). Nick Allen, Aled Fenner, in a fake accent all the time - people resident on a crash basis) after 6 I shouldn't mention the shower Stef Smith and Sarah Harland. might think he really does sound pints of Double Dragon, drank half hose either should I! Surely they're not all serious! 'What like John Cole, live from a bottle of Marsala, and passed out Yours Marge. better reason for voting New Westminster. on the floor. I was only awoken by Election', was the theme of last Massie taking his trainers off upon his return. If you continue to publish these patent untruths, I will reveal the full Dear Marge, Dear Marge story of your pubic hair being used I have a problem. I am a bitter, as a paperweight. twisted old hack, but I may stand Yours threateningly, for ICU president. How then, do I Martin Heigh way. convince the student populous that Msc. D.I.C (Just) I am a keen, fresh young thing who wants to do good? Yours electioneeringly, Dave. Dear Martin What's all this about paperweights? It never managed to Dear Dave, get that far did it! You are not a keen, fresh young Yours Marge. thing, so I'd stick with Ents if I were you. Yours Marge.

best sounds of the 60s, 70s and 80s—nothing from the 90s. Doors RETRO open at 9pm, bar til lam, disco til 2, 50p before. 10pm, £1 thereafter. Fact: HIV cannot be transmitted by Come in RETRO gear and it's 50p dancing, swaying your hips, all night! sweating a little and grooving a lot. Ents say—rubber is for life, not In celebration of this, IC Ents bring just for Christmas. AIDS Awareness week to a climax PS Lovers—free safe sex kits for with RETRO, a throbbing, the first 50 people. pulsating disco spectacular, with all PPS Where's me jumper? The proceeds going straight into the world famous Sultans of Ping FC pockets of those nice people at the will be playing a showcase gig at Terrence Higgins Trust. Enter the IC Union on March 6th, i.e. a week Time Tunnel as we bring you the today.

about your future now. Do you want to stay on and do a MSc or a PhD or aim for a career in industry Careers or the professions? Call in to the Plan your future now. Many of the Careers Service for information and This Declan 'Jorn Corl' Curry reporting live from Wastmenstarrrrr. best jobs may be filled by Easter. advice. Don't miss your ideal career by Vacation Work—Students seeking waiting until after your finals. vacation work this summer should PhD's and MSc's should also be visit the Careers Service and study Dear Marge, listening to Metallica. What can I making job applications now. the vacation training scheme files People have always thought me do, Postgraduates—Do you have which include details of odd - the antisocial hours and ritual Yours Desperate, special needs which are not being opportunities provided by a number sacrifices - but now my flatmate has Elephant & Castle. catered for by the present Careers of employers. developed an unhealthy obsession Service programmes? Have you Milkround—Check your interview with all things black and sinister. Dear Desperate visited the Careers Service? Drop time ont he careers noticeboard. For He never wears his Daffy Duck T- All that is black and sinister is not in and speak to a Careers Adviser further information come to the shirt any more but insists on necessarily evil - but, as I know between 1.30 and 2.30pm or phone Careers Service, Room 310, your flatmate, I would worry. 3251 for advice or an appointment. Sherfield—open from 10am to 5pm, Yours Marge. Second Years—Start thinking Monday to Friday.

—26— 28 February 1992 Felix 928 What's On

An up-to-the-minute guide to events Catholic Chaplaincy Mass.ff.00am See club for details. Beginners Training. in and around Imperial College. 53 Cromwell Road. AstroSoc 1.00pm 3rd World 1st AGM 12.45pm The deadline for entries for this Wargames 1.00pm Upper Lounge. Clubs Committee Room. page is the Monday prior to UDH. STOIC News 1.00pm Legs, Bums, Turns 1.00pm publication. Fitness Club J.OOpm PhotoSoc 1.00pm Southside Gym. Every week. Intermediate. Southside Lounge. Gliding Club Meeting 1.00pm Kung Fu Club 4.30pm Ents Meeting 1.00pm Aero 266. FRIDAY Wu Shu Kwan in the Union Gym. Ents/Rag Office. Up two flights on Fencing Training 1.30pm Hang Gliding 12.30pm Catholic Mass 6.00pm the East Staircase, first office on the General. Southside Upper Lounge. 53 Cromwell Road. left. STOIC News J.OOpm Conservative Soc 12.30pm Legs, Bums, Turns 1.00pm Fitness Club 5.30pm Physics 737. Southside Gym. Organised by Fitness Southside Gym. Advanced. Rag Meeting 12.40pm MONDAY Club. Midweek Event 5.30pm Union Lounge. Everyone welcome. RockSoc Meeting 12.30pm Radio Modellers 5.30pm Chaplains Office. 3rd World 1st 12.45pm Southside Upper Lounge. Mech Eng. Dance Club 6.00pm Southside Upper Lounge. Broom ball Soc 12.30pm Fitness Club 3.45pm JCR. Intermediate/Advanced Banking on Disaster 12.45pm Southside Upper Lounge. Southside Gym. Intermediate. Ballroom & Latin. A talk on the destruction of the Parachute Club 12.30pm Amnesty International 5.30pm Judo Club 6.30pm rainforest produced by WWF. Clubs Brown Committee Room. Clubs Committee Room. Gym. Committee Room. Yacht Club Meeting 12.45pm Wine Tasting Soc 6.00pm STOIC. Into The Night 7.00pm Labour Club Meeting 1.00pm 253 Aeronautics. New members most Union Dining Hall. 'Exceptional Evening Entertainment' Maths 408. Club members welcome. welcome. Sailing most weekends! Dance Club 6.00pm Dance Club 1.00pm Friday Prayers 1.00pm Basketball Club 5J0pm JCR. Improvers Ballroom and Latin. JCR. Beginners Ballroom & Latin. Southside Gym. See Islamic Society. Volleyball court. Men's Team. Canoe Club 6.15pm Real Ale Society Kung Fu 4.30pm Fitness Club 3.30pm Beit Quad store or 8.30pm in Meeting 7.30pm Union Gym. Southside Gym. Beginners. Southside Upper Lounge. Union Lounge. Lots of good booze. C.U. Prayer Meeting J.OOpm Dance Club 6.00pm Judo 6.30pm 'Backdraft' + Cartoon 7J0pm 413 Maths. JCR. R'n'R/Latin. Adv/Medals. Union Gym. Mech Eng 220. Organised by Christian Union Afro-Carib Meeting 6.00pm Stoic Nostalgia Night 7.00pm FilmSoc Meeting 6.00pm Concert Hall. Imperial College in the sixties, IC Shotokan Karate 7J0pm 308 Computing. Science Museum seventies and eighties. Southside Gym. Swimming 6.30pm Apollo 8 Lecture 6.30pm Dance Club 7.00pm Dance Club 8.00pm Sports Centre. Elec Eng 408. JCR. Adv/Medals Ballroom & Latin. JCR. Improvers Ballroom & Latin. Fencing Club Training 6.40pm Swimming 6.30pm Yoga 8.00pm Southside Disco 8.30pm Club training. Sports Centre. Southside Gym. Southside Bar. Stoic on Air 7.00pm Stoic on Air 7.00pm Caving Club Meeting 8.00pm ICCAG Soup Run 9.15pm Shaolin Kungfu System Dance Club 7J0pm Southside Upper Lounge. Meet Weeks Hall Basement. Nam - Pai - Chuan 7.30pm JCR. Beginners' Rock 'n' Roll. Southside Gym. All welcome. IC Shotokan Karate 7J0pm Small Ads Water Polo 7J0pm Southside Gym. WEDNESDAY Please show proof of ID to a Sports Centre. Water Polo 7.30pm Fitness Club 12.45pm member of Felix staff when Southside Disco 8.30pm Sports Centre. Southside Gym. Intermediate. bringing in small ads. Southside Bar. Dance Club 8.30pm Bike Club 12.45pm TWO LARGE single rooms RETRO 9.00pm JCR. Latin Beginners. Southside Lounge. available in house in Finsbury Park Union Lounge. Aids benefit disco. Cycling Training 1.30pm from April-June (£44 and £48 pw) £1. Meet at Beit Arch. Tel 071-281 2376. TUESDAY Wargames 1.00pm THE ARTS WEEK C.U. Prayer Meeting 8.30pm UDH. All welcome. Monday 9th busking SATURDAY Chaplain's Office Micro Club Meeting 1.15pm Tuesday 10th band Kung Fu Club 4.30pm Jazz & Rock Club Meetingii.30pm Top floor NW corner Beit. Wednesday 11th humour Wu Shu Kwan in Southside Gym. Southside Bar TV Room. Kung Fu 1.30pm Thursday 12th poetry IC Shotokan Karate 10.00am Face The Fax 12.30pm Union Gym. Friday 13th bands Southside Gym. Day to collect faxes to send to the DramSoc Improv Class J.30pm JETWASH for hire: Clean your Ladies Tennis 12.00pm chairmen of high street banks. Union SCR (old Union Office). car properly for only £5 an hour. At college courts. Membership £6. Organised by Third World First. Diving 6.30pm Contact G Pearson, Mech Eng All new members welcome. JCR. Swimming Pool. pigeonholes. Exmoor Singers 7.30pm OXFAM Lunch..; 12.30pm Yet more Stoic 7.00pm PICOCON Ten—Help required Holy Trinity Church, Prince Consort Mech Eng Foyer. Bread, cheese and Shaolin Kungfu System for ICSF's science fiction Road. £4, £3 concessions. pickle lunch. £1.00. Nam - Pai - Chuan 7.00pm convention on Saturday 7 March. Cycling Club 10.30am Riding Club Meeting 12.30pm Southside Gym. All Welcome. Give us your name now (helpers get Meet at Beit Arch. Southside Upper Lounge. Basketball Club 7J0pm admission price refunded Boardsailing 12.30pm Volleyball court. afterwards). Come to ICSF Library Southside Upper Lounge. Kung Fu Club 7J0pm under Beit any lunchtime. SUNDAY AudioSoc Meeting 12.30pm Union Gym. Wu Shu Kwan. EXMOOR Singers concert of West London Chaplaincy Southside Upper Lounge. Cheap Libido 9.30pm French Music. 7.30pm Holy Sunday Service 10.30am records and equipment hire. Ents Club Night in Union Lounge. Trinity Church, Prince Consort Anteroom Sherfield Building. Radio Modellers 12.30pm Road. £4 tickets, £2 concessions. Splot Soc tournament 10.00am Southside Lounge. THURSDAY WANTED—lodger. Shepherd's Portsmouth. See Splotsoc for time. Cathsoc Mass 12.30pm Fencing Training 11.30am Bush, near tube. £60 pw. Philip Live Role Playing 10.30pm Mech Eng 702. Followed by lunch. Intermediate & advanced coaching. Stevens 071-273 2866. Victoria Station. Gates to platforms Ski Club Meeting 12.30pm Balloon Club Meeting 12.30pm CAR—£300. Phone ext 5124 11-12. Southside Lounge. Put you name Southside Upper Lounge. (day) or 581 8895 (evenings). Men's Tennis Team down for this year's ski trip. YHA Meeting 12.30pm GUYS & DOLLS production at Practise 11.00am Sailing Club 12.30pm Southside Upper Lounge. Kings College, London. 25 College Courts. Players of any Southside Lounge. Postgrad Lunch 12.30pm February, 7.30pm. Further info on ability. Annual membership £6. New Environmental and Chaplains Office. 071-836 7132. members welcome. Appropriate Tech 12.45pm Fencing Training 12.30pm —27 News Felix 928 28 February 1992 Security Imperial Student Arrested The settlement between the College West Midlands Police have arrested ascertain whether they choose 'a blasphemy is a criminal offence Unions and Management over the a former student of Imperial determination.' This is the legal which applies only to Christianity. rearrangement of the messenger, College, Michael Newman, for way in which schools can decide A police spokesman said 'the matter security and car park (MSCP) attempting to sell a banned video. whether to run religious assemblies. is being referred to the Crown services around the College is said A plain clothed officer arrested him Mr Newman stated T believe the Prosecution Service for possible to have left the affected workforce as he was about to sell a copy of divinity of Christ is a threat to our offences under the Obscene uneasy. The agreement is regarded 'Visions of Ecstasy', an 18 minute humanity.' Publications Act, the Video by some sections as a Union film about St Teresa of Avila. He Mr Newman was a founder Recordings Act and the common 'sellout', with concern centering on was later released. Talking to Felix, member and chairman of IC law on Blasphemy.' new shift patterns. Other sources Mr Newman said that the policeman Union's TH Huxley Society, is an Mr Newman was reported to be have told Imperial College News who offered to buy the video looked executive member of the British deeply satisfied by his arrest and Network, iCNN, that the Unions like 'a dirty old man,' and when Humanist Association and has stood afterwards declared himself to be have negotiated the agreement they agreed to the sale the officer in previous Union Sabbatical delighted with his protest against the which College management wanted 'sadly showed me his badge.' elections. He decided to sell the blasphemy laws. Expressing his all along, though this ignores the Mr Newman explained that he video, which shows the Spanish hopes for a trial, he said T laughed existence of confidential documents was in Birmingham to launch and saint erotically caressing Christ on when I was arrested, but I felt sorry in which Estates Director, Gordon promote a Humanist leaflet directed the cross, after being told that it was for the police who had to watch the Marshall, states his preference for at school children. This encouraged illegal to show it. video because it's very boring.' Mr contracting out, or privatisation, of groups of non-Christians to opt out The video was banned three years Newman added that the whole the MSCP services. of religious assemblies as part of a ago by the British Board of Film episode was very 'Monty Python.' John Payne, IC Employee greater campaign to encourage Classification on the grounds of (iCNN and the Guardian) Relations Manager, complained to debate in individual schools to blasphemy. In this country, Felix about last week's news story on a possible deadlock on MSCP 'deadlock' was unfortunate, but that privatisation talks. He said that 'as both sides had encountered usual, Felix had got it all wrong,' difficulties in the talks. Postal Vote though eventually conceded that Keith Reynolds, IC Chief he objected to the word 'deadlock.' Security Officer, told Felix that an IC Union president, Zoe Hellinger, vacation. Ben Rich, from the The reporter responsible for the announcement on the final plan is announced plans this week for a Liberal Democrat policy unit, told story has said that the usage of to be expected next week. Union-organised postal vote iCNN that there is no reason for registration campaign. The students not to vote during the campaign has been formulated in vacation. However, he added that College Funding the increasing likelihood of the if they didn't vote, the main losers General Election occurring during would be 'anti-Tory' parties. Mr Imperial College has been awarded increase of 11% overall. This the Easter vacation. Rich felt that this issue had 'been a 19.9% increase in the University compares with the total funding for Speaking to Imperial College blown up a bit'. Funding Council (UFC) research the University of London of News Network, iCNN, Ms For Labour, Kate Cinnamon said grant. £370.23 million, with increases of Hellinger said that she felt very 'we have taken various steps to The College also received an 6.1% in teaching funds and 13.7% strongly that students should vote in ensure that students know how increase in its teaching funds of in research funds - a 9.9% overall the constituency that would important it is to register. There is 3.2%, bringing the total for increase - and the national average maximise the effect of the student no evidence holiday elections affect 1992/93 to £56.6 million, an research funding increase of 11 %. vote. A Union ad-hoc committee is the student vote. Students are to begin work on the campaign next registered where the vote matters week. most.' Poverty Row Postal votes can take one of two Vanessa Ford, press officer at forms. There is the permanent Conservative Central Office, told Levels of student poverty have BBC, and follows comments from postal vote, which can be applied iCNN 'we would encourage provoked a furious row this week the Home Secretary, Kenneth for at any time up to the students to register'. She added that between Fleet Street tabloids and Baker, that the BBC would have to announcement of the election date, as the student vote was mainly anti the BBC. The storm followed a be 'very careful indeed' over the and which can be used for an Conservative, a vacation election report broadcast by the Nine way it intended to cover the general election on any date. The second would benefit the Conservative o'Clock News on Wednesday 12th election. The motion will not now type is the temporary postal vote, party. However, Ms Ford denied February, which suggested that be debated. which applies to an election on a that this factor would be taken into levels of debt were forcing students The BBC responded vigorously specific date, and which can be consideration by Mr Major when he to withdraw from their courses. to the allegations by consulting its applied for once the date is decides the election date. The BBC featured Vicky Byrne, lawyers over The Standard's announced. Electors have until The temporary vote form, the who left Reading University last claims, repeated in the Daily thirteen days before polling day to RPF9a, can be obtained by year after running up a fifteen Express and the Sun, and by writing apply and return the form. individual students from their local hundred pound debt. Ms Byrne was to each of the signatories of the Students are one of a number of town hall. This form is then reported to be cleaning houses for motion. The legal advice given groups who can apply for a postal returned to the electoral returning a living, and was intending to return indicated that the Corporation vote. This is because students are officer at the appropriate address: to Reading after her debt had been would win any libel action, but the entitled to vote either at their college Westminster City Council, City paid off. reporter, Mike Baker, said that he residence, or at their parental home. Hall, Victoria Street, SW1E; Royal The report was followed a week did not think it was appropriate to Electoral returning officers have Borough of Kensington and later by a two page analysis in the issue writs. emphasised that it is illegal to vote Chelsea, Town Hall, Hornton St., London Evening Standard, which Speaking to iCNN, the editor of in both places. They are particularly W8 7NX; Hammersmith and alleged ,#iat the report was biased the Daily Express, Sir Nicholas concerned that first year students, Fulham Borough, Town Hall, King and 'distorted'. The claims of bias Lloyd, said that 'we stand by our who are automatically registered at Street, W6; Borough of Ealing, led to the tabling of an Early Day story'. When told that the BBC had their halls of residence, may also try Civic Centre, Uxbridge Road, W5 motion in the House of Commons issued a similar statement, he said to register at their parental address. 2HL; Wandsworth Borough, Town by Edwina Currie, which has that the BBC always back their All three mainstream political Hall, SW18 2PU; Camden attracted thirteen signatures. The stories, because in their opinion, parties claim to be unconcerned by Borough, Town Hall, Euston Rd, motion was highly critical of the they are never wrong. (iCNN) the election falling during the NW1 2RX. (iCNN)

Felix is produced tor and on behalf of the Imperial College Union Publications Board and is printed by the Imperial College Union Print Unit. Prince Consort Road. London SW7 2BB. (Tel: 071-225 8672). Editor: Adam Harrington. Business Manager: Jeremy Burnell. Copyright Felix 1991. ISSN 1040-0711.