Female Virginity Loss and Love in Popular Literatures in the West
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Romancing the Virgin: Female Virginity Loss and Love in Popular Literatures in the West Jodi Ann McAlister, BAS/BA (Hons) This thesis is presented for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy (PhD) Originally presented February 27, 2015 Presented with corrections August 7, 2015 Department of Modern History, Politics and International Relations Faculty of Arts Macquarie University Table of Contents Abstract ...................................................................................................................................... 2 Statement of Candidate .............................................................................................................. 3 Acknowledgements .................................................................................................................... 4 Chapter One – The Virgin In Love: Virginity and Romantic Love in History, and the Emergence of Compulsory Demisexuality ................................................................................ 7 Chapter Two – These Are My Confessions: The History, Project, and Pleasures of the Virginity Loss Confessional Genre .......................................................................................... 66 Chapter Three – Confessions Part II: Close Readings of Virginity Loss Stories .................. 105 Chapter Four – This Modern Love: The Virgin Heroine in Historical Romance Fiction ..... 177 Chapter Five – Middle Class Morality: The Virgin Heroine in Contemporary Category Romance Fiction .................................................................................................................... 228 Chapter Six – The Virginal Reader: Virginity Loss in the Twenty-First Century and Reactions to Twilight and Fifty Shades of Grey .................................................................... 284 Conclusion – Virgin Territory ............................................................................................... 327 Works Cited ........................................................................................................................... 335 1 Abstract This thesis is a literary history which seeks to elucidate dominant Western cultural narratives around female virginity loss, and the ways these have evolved. It takes as its primary focus popular literatures authored by women, particularly popular romance fiction and autobiographical stories about virginity loss. The study of virginity has hitherto failed to meaningfully address the role played by romantic love in scripts for female sexual activity. Sex and love are clearly linked in twentieth century sexual history, leading to the emergence of a paradigm I term “compulsory demisexuality”. The development of this paradigm – which dictates that for women, sex and love are intrinsically linked together, and that sex without love is unnatural and harmful – has affected the way women think about sex. This is not a study of empirical data: rather, it is a study of stories, and the way their evolution has impacted cultural attitudes. I trace the way in which my texts interact with the paradigm of compulsory demisexuality – alternately upholding, supporting, resisting, and subverting it – and the ways this has changed over time. I contend that romantic love has been key in giving the virgin an active voice when it comes to her sex life, and has been vital in incorporating female pleasure back into sexual narratives. The emergence of compulsory demisexuality has created a space in which women can be free to explore their sexual desires, but it is a space with boundaries. There continues to be considerable cultural emphasis on the idea that virgins must receive the “right” (that is, appropriately romantic) messages about sex. This idea of “rightness” clearly implies female virginity can be lost “wrongly”. Ultimately, I argue that this is a pernicious discourse, and that the virgin needs to be reimagined as a critical, active sexual agent, capable of making sexual decisions which are neither right nor wrong, but simply hers. 2 Statement of Candidate I certify that the work in this thesis entitled Romancing the Virgin: Female Virginity Loss and Love in Popular Literatures in the West has not previously been submitted for a degree nor has it been submitted as part of the requirements for a degree to any other university or institution other than Macquarie University. I also certify that the thesis is an original piece of research and it has been written by me. Any help and assistance that I have received in my research work and the preparation of the thesis itself have been appropriately acknowledged. In addition, I certify that all information sources and literature used are indicated in the thesis. ____________________ Jodi Ann McAlister ID: 42359422 27/02/2015 3 Acknowledgements It may be trite to write that a PhD thesis about romantic love was a labour of love, but it is accurate. It is also a labour that would not have been possible without the support of many people, and I cannot thank them enough. First and foremost, to my PhD supervisor, Dr Hsu-Ming Teo, who has been an endless source of advice and encouragement and wisdom. I don’t know where I would be now if she hadn’t responded so positively and enthusiastically to an email I – then a total stranger – sent her out of the blue in 2010, telling her I had a vague idea for a PhD project on virgins and asking her if maybe, perhaps, possibly she might like to supervise it. I don’t know if anyone has ever worked out so quickly the exact balance of criticism and praise I need to thrive. Thank you for all your work, all your support, the lovely conversations in hotel bars at overseas conferences, and your endless patience with my word-vomit drafting process. I have been supported by a network of wonderful scholars while writing this thesis. This includes my associate supervisor, Professor Marea Mitchell, whose advice has been invaluable, as well as all the scholars I have met and corresponded with from the International Association for the Study of Popular Romance, who have been very generous with their time and expertise and so supportive of my work. I am so excited to be part of this nascent academic field and about working and thinking with you in the future. May all our future conferences have food as excellent as Thessaloniki 2014. PhDs are hard (who knew?), and I don’t know if I could have written this thesis if it were not for a group of wonderful women who were willing to look at me witheringly, shake their heads, and say, “Jodes, don’t be silly. Of course you can do it.” I wish I could 4 adequately communicate to you what a talisman words like those were for me when I was redrafting chapters for the millionth time. Thank you to all of you – Monique, Hannah, Mariko, Rashmi, Steph, Laurie, Sonya, Athena, Panda, Mel, Barbara, Mabel, Bec, Erin. You are the best ladyfriends in the world and I will fight anyone who says their friends are better. I am lucky enough to have a wonderful family, who might not have entirely understood what I was working on a lot of the time, but who supported me nonetheless. To my parents, Lynne and Rick, for their encouragement and for letting me drink all their wine; and to my brothers, Sam, Josh, and Ben, for driving me around, cooking for me, and monologuing at me over smooth jazz music and making me laugh – thank you. To my grandfather Alan and aunt Debbie for distracting me on Sundays with games of Trivial Pursuit – thank you. To my extended family in the UK, particularly Carrie, John, and Jack, who were 100% fine with me coming to stay for them for weeks at a time on research trips – thank you. And thank you especially to my sister Hayley, who has somehow managed to live with me for the three-and-a-bit years I’ve been working on this thesis without killing me. There is also a wider circle of people I must thank. The romance community of scholars and readers have been a valuable source of insight as well as fun – I’m looking at you, Kat, Vassiliki, Angela, Mallory, Kate, Sandra, Nyssa, Gabby, Rudi. Digital publisher Momentum Moonlight have been fantastic in not only allowing me to have a mainstream platform for my work, but paying me for it (and for also giving me an excuse to watch The Bold and the Beautiful every day). Harlequin Mills & Boon kindly permitted me to reprint excerpts from their fascinating archive at the University of Reading. A brilliant crew of people have proofread for me and otherwise supported me – you are shining stars, Travis, Martin, Patrick, Jess, Judi, Ylaria, Christophe, Tim. And then, of course, I must thank 5 Macquarie University, for funding me to write this thesis about virgins and romance and love and other fun stuff in the first place. Oh, and I have to thank Kate Bush. For her music. And for existing. There has never been a more perfect expression for that feeling you get when you just can’t quite nut out a scholarly problem than “suspended in gaffa”. 6 Chapter One – The Virgin In Love: Virginity and Romantic Love in History, and the Emergence of Compulsory Demisexuality “The virginity issue... it’s a personal decision and it reflects how I feel right now about myself,” Britney Spears told an interviewer in 2002. “There are so many emotions involved that I would like to be able to wait until I know I’m with the right person and I’m married.”1 Spears was the most famous of the high profile virgins who emerged in the late 1990s and 2000s, but she was by no means the only one: Jessica Simpson, Julianne Hough, Selena Gomez and Demi