February 2016 Streetfree Talk Americain God We Trust! ®
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I want to make Monday - Friday, 4:30p.m.-Until this a perfect shot.” “Forget it, man,” says his partner. • Fried & Baked Chicken •Baked Ham “You’ll never hit her from here.” •Fried Pork Chops •Country Fried Steak Fresh Vegetables Every Day • Homemade Casseroles •Turnips •Fried Okra •Mustard Greens •Lima Beans •Black Eyed Peas •Mashed Potatoes & Gravy •Corn •Cabbage •Chicken & Rice Open 10:30a.m.-2:30p.m. ~ Closed Sat. 686 5th St. Chipley, FL “We had a power outage last week and my PC, Cylie, our Valentine Sweetie on the TV and games console shut down immediately. cover of this month’s Street Talk America, It was raining -- therefore I couldn’t hunt, is the daughter of Chasity Wilson so I talked to my wife for a few hours. and Kyle Collinsworth, of Westville. She seems like a nice person.” Photo taken by photographer, Nikki Elmore. 2/ February 2016 Street Talk America First Day When Kendra, my niece, was preparing for her first day of school, she confided in her mom that she was concerned about how her cousin Tim’s behavior in the classroom might reflect on her. “He burps and screams, he won’t listen and he won’t sit still,” she lamented. “Well, how did it go at school?” her mom asked her when she picked Kendra up at the end of the day. “Did Tim do anything to embarrass you?” “Oh, no,” Kendra replied. “All the boys are like that!” Happy 13th Birthday Wyatt Ward! We love you! What kind of mom would I be if I didn’t put a picture of his 10 point buck in the Street Talk? Congratulations Wyatt, your dad and I are so proud for you! He wasn’t the only kid walking a little taller last month! Check out page 19. Someone was praying for deer... or someone was not praying for deer, however you want to look at it. ~Kelley Ward, Street Talk America ® Street Talk America is an outreach ministry Street Talk America devoted to uplift and entertain the reader. Any resemblance Crossroads Publishing LLC. contained within this publication to some one or some thing is P.O. Box 170 • Vernon, FL 32462 • (850)-596-8685 purely coincidental and not to bring harm or insult to anyone. Information, stories, helpful hints, jokes, studies and all other www.streettalkamerica.com miscellaneous writings, drawings and pictures are published [email protected] without malice, but with the intent to entertain, inspire or teach; not to cause disillusionment or confusion to anyone; person, party affiliation, company, denomination or other named or unnamed entity. The writings contained within Street Talk do not necessar- ily reflect the views of the publisher or editor. On Christ, the solid Rock we stand; Street Talk America is not the author of many of the jokes All other ground is sinking sand. contained herein and claims no copyright privileges to those that we didn’t author unless noted. The jokes contained herein are not Publisher: Kelley Ward known to be copyrighted and are believed to be part of the public Editors: Karen Mashburn and Edsol Jenkins domain. Every effort is made not to use copyrighted material Sales Representative: Winfred ‘Wimpy’ Carnley without the author’s consent. To report an improper use of a Contributing Writers: copyrighted joke please contact Crossroads Publishing, LLC., Judy Jenkins Sherri Evans Timothy Shumaker and we will take the appropriate steps. H.L. Brown Tim Patton Robert Birge Circulation & Distribution: 13,000 copies of STA are BN Heard Dr. Charlie Hinson printed each month. STA is free and available at high traffic Angie Knight Michael Kennedy, ARNP business locations in Washington, Holmes, Northern Walton and Cartoonist: Marvin Jenkins Jackson counties. Copies are also available by subscription. Street Talk America February 2016 /3 A Timely Word By: Tim Patton Pastor, Shiloh Baptist Church I don’t know about you but I have been amazed and stunned by the sheer number of celebrities that have died just since the last week of December: Meadow- lark Lemon, Wayne Rogers, Natalie Cole, David Bow- ie, Richard Libertini, David Margulies, Alan Rickman, Dan Haggerty, Glenn Frey, and Abe Vigoda, just to name a few. Without fail, each death was announced with a description of how wonderful each person was and how significant their contribution to music, sports, acting, etc. has been. More importantly, though, I hope that we can learn I remember a few years ago how I was captivated to share our appreciation today rather than waiting to by the coverage of the death and funeral of former share them over a grave! President Gerald Ford. Yes, I was but a young (very The Apostle Paul encouraged his readers to be con- young) child when the events of our nation catapulted stant in their encouragement. Ephesians 4:29 says, him from the House of Representatives into the Vice “Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that Presidency and then Presidency. I listened as many your words will be an encouragement to those who evaluated and commented on the state of our nation at hear them.” We need to encourage one another on a that time. Many spoke of the lack of confidence in the daily basis. We are to encourage people to walk with office of the President and the lack of faith in govern- God. Part of loving and encouraging is to lovingly ment as a whole. The pundits were universal in their offer correction where needed—that’s how our kids praise of Ford’s integrity, “plainspokenness”, how grow up to be great and responsible adults. Part of “normal” his family was, and how badly the nation loving and encouraging is to also offer our apprecia- needed to see those qualities in their President and his tion when someone has done something well—that’s family. Much was said about his pardoning of Presi- how your waiter or waitress knows you recognize dent Nixon. All agreed it was a necessary move that that they are human beings trying to get through their he was willing to make at the cost of his own career. day! As I listened to interviews with former newspeople February is Valentine’s and the month of “love.” who covered the Ford White House and friends and Don’t wait to express your love or encouragement colleagues who knew the Ford family, I was struck for just one day. Don’t wait until you are standing that everyone had such wonderful things to say. I over the grave of a friend to find the words to ex- then began to wonder if any of them had shared those press how special he or she was. Many people walk thoughts with President Ford or his family while he through their days hoping to find some bright spot in was alive. I know we all hope that when God calls us the stress and turmoil. You could be that bright spot home, people will have nice things to say and our life’s in their day! Find someone to encourage today and work will be recognized as fruitful and worthwhile. offer a timely word! 1976 Shiloh Lane • Chipley, FL South of I-10, Just off of 277 www.shilohbaptist.net Sunday Morning Wednesday Night 9:00 Connection Cafe (Coffee on Us!)* 6:00 Mid-Week Worship* 9:15 Small Group Bible Study* Surround Sound Student Ministry 10:30 Worship Service** Kid’s on Mission *Nursery provided for new born to PK4 **Nursery & Children’s Church (up to 3rd grade) 4/ February 2016 Street Talk America Position to Pray Three preachers sat discussing the best positions for Concealed Weapon Classes prayer, while a telephone repairman worked nearby. $30.00 • AMMO INCLUDED “Kneeling is definitely best,” claimed one. “No,” another contended. “I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched to Heaven.” “You’re both 850-638-6698 wrong,” the third insisted. “The most effective prayer position is lying prostrate, face down on the floor.” Porpoise The repairman could contain himself no longer. A research group on sea mammals captured a rather “Gentlemen,” he interrupted, “the best praying I ever odd porpoise on one of its trips. Its peculiarity was did was hanging upside down from a telephone pole.” that it had feet. After they had photographed and mea- sured the poor thing, they prepared to set it free.“Wait Blonde Victim a minute,” said one of the researchers, “wouldn’t it be Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to a kindness if our ship’s doctor here were to amputate find her house ransacked and burglarized. She tele- the feet so that it would be like other porpoises?” “Not phoned the police at once and reported the crime. The on your life,” exclaimed the doctor.