REFLECTIONS

Confession: A Critical Layman’s Perspective

Vasily Selyuminov

The sacrament of confession is but in whether confession is under- strongly encouraged for practicing stood as a gateway to receiving com- Orthodox Christians throughout our munion—a prevalent view in the life in the Church. And yet it is rare Russian tradition—or as a separate that a layperson’s perspective on event in Christian life, as it is often this practice is sought or offered. In regarded in Greek practice. Both ap- the course of my life in the Church I proaches suffer from the consump- have observed three types of confes- tion ethic that pervades the practice sion: formal, controlling and respon- of confession in the contemporary sible. While the first two approaches Church, however. They turn confes- are widespread, the third requires sion into “paying dues,” either for a significant amount of work, immediate access to communion or self-awareness, and mutual respect as a regular contribution required to from both the penitent and the con- remain in good standing. fessor . In this article, I outline the characteristics of these differ- Such an attitude is quite foreign to ent types of confession and suggest the essense of the sacrament. The some ways in which we might make very word confession implies a pen- responsible confession the prevail- itent’s sincere sharing of uncomfort- ing norm. able truths. By definition, the sac- rament should be driven by one’s Confession Now conscious and voluntary decision to repent. This model of confession, Our approach to the sacrament of wherein the penitent organically confession is the result of numerous develops the desire to repent with- developments and cultural factors, out being “sold” such a desire, has many of them comparatively recent, its biblical source in the parable of and it is therefore likely quite re- the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11–32). In mote from the vision of the ancient the parable, the son’s confession is Church. It also varies significantly driven by a strong desire on his part from jurisdiction to jurisdiction and to return to the father in spite of all even from to parish. that has transpired between them. It takes courage to overcome anxiety Broadly, there are two major ap- and shame and to appear before the proaches, which I will call Russian eyes of the father. The father offers and Greek for the sake of simplicity. forgiveness to his son, but this act is The difference lies not in frequency driven by the son’s choices, not vice of confession, as is often supposed, versa.

88 Likewise, confession, a sacrament The line is always there. These are © 2020 The Wheel. of reconciliation with the Church, all the same people who have been May be distributed for cannot begin with the priest. The coming to the same church for years noncommercial use. www.wheeljournal.com willingness to reconcile comes from and sometimes for decades. They go the sinner, and the Church, in ’s through this ritual every Saturday manner, has no other way but to for- or Sunday. Some urge peo- give the sinner unconditionally. One ple to come to confession on Satur- might ask, “But what about all of the days and refuse to hear confessions practices known as early as on Sundays, save for the sick and the times of Saint Basil?” We must parents with small children. Still remember that those practices were the ritual goes on, week after week, never a condition for forgiveness; month after month, year after year. they were merely restorative spiri- And it mostly consists of a of tual exercises routinely associated habitual transgressions, rushed and with certain kinds of transgressions. formal because of the dual pressure of the line and the time. What drives In contrast to this ideal state of it? Why does it keep happening? things, modern confession is fre- Why do so few question its absurdi- quently driven either by institution- ty? The answer is twofold. First, it is al expectations or by a priest. Let me hard to break traditions. People get dive deeper into the two prevalent used to repetitive actions as a coping types of confession I have experi- mechanism and a natural defense enced as a layman or heard of from against life’s uncertainties. Depen- other laypeople. dence on rituals is part of the human neurological structure. Formal Confession There is a second factor driving This is arguably the only form of this familiar ritual, however. The confession known to the majority unbreakable connection of confes- of Orthodox Christians in churches sion and communion has assumed of the Russian tradition. It comes a sacred dimension in the Church’s from a late view of confession as a mind. Severing it is inevitably seen prerequisite to partaking of holy by some as ending a relationship communion. This approach to the with God. Lining up before ev- sacrament is burdensome for both ery Liturgy and providing a priest penitents and the priest. with a 30-second brief of the same Anyone familiar with Russian-tradi- old stuff the priest already knows tion churches knows the long lines is viewed as non-negotiable. From of penitents on Saturday nights and the priests with whom I have spo- Sunday mornings. In a small church ken and from my own experience, served by a single priest, people are people rarely come to such confes- used to seeing the priest leave the sions with actual . Sins are the as much as he can during the wrongdoings that create a distance service to “serve” the line instead between a person and God. Repen- of offering service to God, especial- tance is the eagerness to overcome ly during Vigil. Sometimes, a priest this distance. During these routine comes out during Liturgy after the confessions, however, people often Lord’s Prayer to hear confessions, complain about life, work, family, essentially interrupting the Liturgy and acquaintances. The “sins” por- for as long as an hour. tion is confined to eating dairy on

The Wheel 21/22 | Spring/Summer 2020 89 Wednesday and Friday or watching Orthodox Archdiocese of America Game of Thrones. Yet challenging and of the practice of obedience to this ritual brings fear, uncertainty, Athonite elders across half the world and genuine thoughts of desecration highlight the universal nature of this and blasphemy, as evident from dis- problem. cussion of the draft guidelines of the for partic- In this kind of confession, unlike the ipation in the sacrament of the Eu- formal one, the relationship between charist as recently as 2015. priest and penitent comes very much into play. Whatever internal This practice ultimately serves to traumas lead people to engage in create a comfortable and unchal- those relationships, at their center is lenging environment of confession. a vast power differential. Just as Sith A formal routine effectively replac- Lord Darth Sidious in the Star Wars es the need to take responsibility for universe lures Anakin Skywalker to one’s own life and to bring it into the Dark Side of the Force by using alignment with the gospel, and es- the latter’s fear of losing his wife, pecially for such difficult challenges the priests who engage in this type as loving one’s neighbor. Oftentimes of “spiritual fatherhood” build an such confession is informed by lists initial relationship on the penitent’s of “sins” whose many versions exist fear, by claiming a unique ability in brochures and on websites. The to contain and control the source of motivation to take part in the sacra- this fear. ment seldom comes from a person’s . A priest rarely says Fear can be brought to the first con- anything except for the fession, but it can also be born in the prayer at the end. The ritual is done moment when a person talks to an and the dues are paid. for the first time. It can easily be a fear of hell created by the el- This type of confession is formal der’s sudden revelation that people and boring, but in most cases it is who behave “sinfully” are destined harmless. It fails to deliver the rec- for eternal flames. The reasons can onciliation and the healing of the vary, from a woman wearing pants sacrament of confession established to church to having services accord- by the Church, but it does not cause ing to the “wrong” calendar to being direct spiritual, psychological, so- engaged in sexual intimacy (even cial, or physical harm. within marriage). From the moment of initiation, failure to follow the el- Controlling Confession der’s guidance means certain, inev- itable eternal suffering. Whatever The perceived need for regular con- the transgressions, people in such fession and the perceived inability to relationships of absolute obedience approach the without it have become enslaved by their own fear given birth to another, more harmful and lose all autonomy. practice. While it is easily brought on by the mandatory confession While extreme cases of such elder- specific to the Russian tradition, it ship may not be widespread, the is not confined to it. Anecdotal evi- temptation to abuse one’s position dence from the Arizona poisons many priests, both monas- under the jurisdiction of the Greek tic and married. A clear sign of this

90 kind of controlling, spiritually abu- non-Orthodox or heretical. This can sive behavior is asking unsolicited happen even if the elder is within the questions and giving unsolicited canonical boundaries of the Church. advice during confession. While the When the elder decides to separate range of topics can be broad, the fa- from the Church, however, his disci- vorite one to exploit is the subject of ples tend to follow readily. sexuality. Responsible Confession I offer this example from my own ex- perience during my first years in the Is it possible to bring the sacrament Church. I was once a lay worker in a of confession back to its original . Around that time, I met place within the Church? It certainly my future wife and she sometimes is, if both priests and laity take on came to the monastery. One day I this responsibility. Responsible con- was having a routine confession with fession starts from a person’s con- a schema-monk. At some point he in- science, from a desire to reconcile terrupted me and said: “So, it looks with the Church. This implies a re- like you have a girlfriend. When you alization that previous actions have get married, do you plan to use con- separated a person from Christ. The traception?” I was a bit confused be- practice of confession then realizes cause I had been talking about some- the Church’s acceptance of a per- thing completely different. But then son’s desire to be healed and shows he repeated, “Don’t ever dare to use the all-merciful essence of God. In contraception. It’s a grave .” this approach, individual conscience replaces the “litany of sins.” A priest I was fortunate to have avoided this is to remain respectful and caring, kind of spiritual relationship, but remembering his role as an interme- many people get ensnared in them diary but not a judge. out of respect for what they perceive as authentic insight. It is especially In the Orthodox Church, absolution easy for recent converts and former is inevitable. Forgiveness is imme- atheists to fall victims to such con- diate. This is the only response that trolling priests, and usually there is the Church has for . As no one to tell a romantic neophyte mentioned earlier, there have been how remote such an approach is multiple penance practices, but from the Orthodox understanding of they belonged to a slightly different confession. realm of pastoral care and served the purpose of gradual reinstatement This is when the sacrament of rec- of a person as a full member of the onciliation with the Church be- Church. Nonetheless, God’s forgive- comes instead the tool of a toxic, ness is contained entirely in the very controlling, divisive relationship. act of repentance. Self-identification with the univer- sal community of the faithful is re- For a person to put on the Prodigal placed by being the disciple of an Son’s shoes there must be a real sep- “elder.” While remaining formally aration from Christ (not “dairy on Orthodox, people engaged in such Wednesday” or “listening to heavy relationships often reject the hier- metal”) followed by a genuine de- archy, the clergy, fellow laypeople, sire for reconciliation. This kind of and other church communities as repentance is not possible in weekly

The Wheel 21/22 | Spring/Summer 2020 91 routine confession-for-communion Letting your consciousness drive the nor when confession occurs within a frequency and content of your con- relationship of spiritual abuse. Many fession is a degree of independence maintain that confession before com- that is not immediately familiar to munion is like washing hands before most Orthodox Christians. The way a meal. Yet this approach trivializes most of us are brought up in the the experience of true repentance. A Church is through adoption of ritu- sacrament that sometimes happened als and practices without question- in history as rarely as once in a life- ing them—often dubbed as “taking time cannot be reduced to a weekly the yoke of the Lord.” But the yoke procedure based on social and ritu- of the Lord is not about standing in alistic expectations. line on Saturday night. It is about setting a benchmark for our lives As the First Epistle of John tells us, based on the gospel. Our worship “If we say we have no sin, we deceive is rational, as Saint Paul says in Ro- ourselves” (1 John 1:8). Sin is missing mans 12:1. It is about using all our the mark—and we are always miss- will power and brainpower to reach ing a mark. Therefore God has given out to God and restore his kingdom us the Church, a community of fel- within us. God requires conscious low believers with whom we gath- choice, self-awareness, and respon- er frequently to be nourished by the sibility when we take his yoke. Only body and blood of Christ himself. by taking responsibility for the Confession thus also happens in the God-given vineyard of our can Church—in the right time, in the right we embrace the true meaning and place, just as the sacrament of holy use of confession, and only then can matrimony can only happen only it be fruitful for us on our journey to when people are getting married. the kingdom.

Vasily Selyuminov holds a degree in Management and Political Science from Lomonosov Moscow State University with a thesis on church-state relationships in modern Russia. He has worked as an author and editor for Orthodox media in Russia, headed the Donskoy Monastery press office, and written a children’s book on liturgy released in 2018. He also holds an MBA degree from Babson College and currently works for a Boston-based market research company.

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