1 CONTENTS Parental leave 4 Childcare & Schools 5 “Oxford is a wonderful Student Life 7 place for student parents Accommodation 10 and their kids, though it Money matters 11 hides it very well. Don’t Charitable funding 12 be shy to explore the Communities 13 wide range of activities Oxford SU Events 14 that only Oxford can Children’s activities 15 offer! The Museum of Natural History and Port Meadow are just two of Edition: March 2018 our favourite spots.” Lukas (DPhil Physiology, Anatomy & Genetics)
Oxford SU 4 Worcester Street Oxford, OX1 2BX 01865 288452 oxfordsu.org
2 STUDENT PARENT HANDBOOK INTRODUCTION We estimate there are over 350 If you have questions or concerns, student parents at the university, you can contact the Student Advice nearly all of whom study for graduate team. More information about how to degrees. Around 50 students give get in touch can be found on page 15. birth each year. You can also get in touch with your This handbook is designed to give relevant Oxford SU sabbatical officer. student parents a quick overview Both the VP Graduates and the VP of the issues you may face, and Women are committed to supporting point to relevant support available. student parents. Throughout the handbook you will [email protected] also find student voices describing their experiences of being a student [email protected] parent at the University of Oxford. To keep informed about events, issues and opportunities for student parents, join the Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/ oxfordstudentparents
“Lab work, leisure time with my family, almost no social activity with The Queens College, mixed feelings about the job market in Oxford; overall, not too bad…” Saiful (DPhil Organic Chemistry)
3 MATERNITY & PATERNITY LEAVE You are entitled to parental leave. If you find yourself in great financial The university’s policy document need because of such a situation, provides details of the arrangements you may be able to find some help for students who are about to have through your college, department, or adopt a child: how much leave or a university hardship fund (see students are entitled to, access ‘Money Matters’ below). to University facilities, graduate International students may accommodation and childcare experience visa difficulties if they services and the provision for a suspend student status for maternity flexible return to full-time study. leave. However, the university visa Student Maternity, Paternity and and immigration team have a work- Adoption Leave Policy (pdf) around in place to enable you to University scholarships should stay. They can also advise you about provide paid maternity and paternity applying for child and family visas. leave. If you are dependent upon an Student Immigration & Visas external scholarship which does not www.ox.ac.uk/students/visa provide maternity support, funding a [email protected] longer period of maternity leave may be difficult.
“Before I arrived in Oxford, I hadn’t anticipated how few of the academic and social events seem to fit into family life. Be prepared to attend events right on your child’s/children’s bedtime, and try to get to daytime seminars or workshops to help counter any feelings of isolation.” Sarah (DPhil Music)
4 STUDENT PARENT HANDBOOK CHILDCARE If you need pre-school age childcare, co-operates. University nurseries are one of your first priorities – as soon cheaper than others in Oxford, and as you receive an offer from Oxford stand therefore in high demand. or have a positive pregnancy test University Childcare Services – may be to get yourself on the www.admin.ox.ac.uk/childcare/ waiting list for university nurseries. Some colleges (St Anne’s, Wolfson, Of course there are other Balliol, and Somerville) have their arrangements such as nannies, and own nurseries. They also have long childminders. waiting lists. Oxfordshire County Council can The university’s Childcare Services advise: website contains detailed and OxonFIS up-to-date information about www.oxfordshire.gov.uk/ university nurseries and independent familyinformation nurseries with which the university SCHOOLS To find a free school place for your School transfer child (from age 4 or 5) when you www.oxfordshire.gov.uk/ arrive, apply to Oxfordshire County schooltransfer Council with a “Transfer application OFSTED form for in year transfers”. Note that http://reports.ofsted.gov.uk/ you will have to include photocopies of your children’s passports and International students should note visas, if applicable. They recommend that many state primary schools have putting down at least three schools a Church of England foundation. of preference – i.e. those nearest to However, these schools are open where you live and work. UK state to and attended by children of all schools are inspected and rated by faiths or none. The schools respect OFSTED. the faith background of the children 5 who attend. The jargon for these however free to attend, and run by types of schools is “voluntary aided” the state. or “foundation schools”. They are
“As a Canadian family studying for a DPhil in Oxford, we wouldn’t trade the experience for the world. But every worthwhile path has its challenges. Visa restrictions on the lead up MSt course meant I had to commute back home between terms first year. And when we were all able to come for my second year, the Fall term was especially difficult as the kids settled in and Julie sought work. But we learned a lot about one another, and as parents we realised that each of our kids respond to transition differently. An extra dose of patience and compassion was needed to see behind some “misbehaviour” in order to empathise with the genuine challenges of transition for our little ones. But the privilege of being in Oxford and of receiving support from many others - both from our church and my college - has humbled us and made us so very grateful that we followed a call here . . . together.” Andrew (DPhil Theology)
6 STUDENT PARENT HANDBOOK STUDENT LIFE
Your experience of student life will >> What is the minimum level of vary enormously according to the engagement with college life I age of your children, whether you want to achieve? have a partner, or how much your >> How many weeks a year do I want partner can or will support you. But to devote to time off with the it is also about the priorities you set family (or holiday if I can afford and the choices you make. it)? When will I do this? Here are some questions to ponder: >> Do I want to make time for sport >> Do I want to rely on myself or do I (there will be teams and free want to ask for help? facilities at college) or another >> Do I want to make finding and hobby? paying for a babysitter a priority? >> Which people’s company does me >> How can my partner and I help good? the other flourish? How much >> When shall I meet with them me- time and us-time do we need next? each week, alongside work and parenting time? >> If your partner is not a student: “Student experience is Where can we develop common rather different for relationships? parents. You will be >> Do I want to set aside definite spending more time doing time for the family in evenings the school and nursery and at weekends or just see how run, cooking, washing long my work takes? up, cleaning, playing, taking children to piano Do I want to have regular working >> lessons, eating with hours or just see how long my children, putting them work takes? to bed, taking them to >> Do I prefer to keep home life the park at the weekend. private or do I prefer to have While you are reading guests? a bedtime story, your 7 colleagues are racking with the University up the hours in the Immigration team, and the Bodleian. extortionate costs of a family visa. Your colleagues from the Students without children lab may be going to hear often see the attempt a visiting lecturer on to combine children and Friday but you are needed study as some superhuman at home for feeding time feat. Everyone finds at the zoo. Perhaps, study a challenge spurred on by those anyway, even without young freshers, you feel little people running like going clubbing one around at home. But day, against your better perhaps having children judgement. It will feel while a student is the so good to be out for best possible timing – a change. But you will people at the start of still have to get up with their careers may well the kids the next day. be less flexible than So. Much. Tiredness. students. And students Your budget has to cover who spend all their time the cost of a larger working without any real flat, nappies, more family or social time food, and some of the probably don’t work more highest childcare costs effectively for all their in Europe. Students who mammoth hours. become pregnant need I think too many people creative solutions for in our generation are put parental leave which will off having children for often involve temporary pragmatic reasons, and suspension of status some would-be parents end and thus increase the up missing out, which is overall study bill. sad. When we are (even Internationals have to more) grey-haired and find a visa workaround look back on our time as
8 STUDENT PARENT HANDBOOK student parents we will “The most important thing not regret having been for being a student brave and/or crazy enough parent is to establish to bring our children your support system: your into the world. We will college, department, be profoundly grateful.” supervisors, friends Sam Shearn (Oxford SU Parent & and colleagues. Be as Carer Officer 2015) confident and assertive about yourself as possible!” Yuge (DPhil Geography and Environment)
9 ACCOMMODATION
The University Graduate Accommodation Office has accommodation for families in sites across the city information can be found here: www.admin.ox.ac.uk/graduateaccommodation/ In addition your College may be able to accommodate you and your family, however resources vary between Colleges. Speak with you College accommodation officer about this information can be found here: www.ox.ac.uk/admissions/graduate/colleges/college- listing?wssl=1 Alternatively you can rent accommodation in the private rented sector. Costs vary depending on the area and facilities. Information about renting in the private rented sector can be found in the Student Advice Service Living Out Guide here: oxfordsu.org/wellbeing/student-advice/
10 STUDENT PARENT HANDBOOK MONEY MATTERS Student parents at Oxford fund their studies in various ways, usually calling upon several sources. A 2015 survey suggested student parents often rely on a partner’s salary (50%), part-time work (40%), scholarships (45% partial, 35% full) and family support (20%). Other sources include loans, benefits, and personal savings. Unlike more progressive EU countries, scholarships do not offer additional stipends for dependants. British students or those with British partners on low incomes often rely on various UK benefits (Child Benefit, Child Tax Credit, Housing Benefit, etc.). International students, ineligible for such benefits, may find themselves therefore particularly in need of help. Some colleges (Balliol and Wolfson) offer childcare bursaries. Some departments have been known to provide extra conference grants for taking a child or carer to a conference. Colleges have hardship funds. Some departments have hardship funds. British students may apply to the Access to Learning Fund. All may apply to the University Hardship Fund. www.ox.ac.uk/students/fees-funding/assistance/hardship?wssl=1 Note that current hardship funding policy says that pregnancy is not usually considered an unforeseen circumstance. However, if you are in financial difficulty, do not be put off, but apply. In the past several student parents have been supported by their college, department, or the university in this way. If you consider the analogy with employment law, there is a massive equality issue which needs to be addressed in this regard. Pregnancy should not be seen as a foreseen circumstance, or students expected to prove that a pregnancy was unplanned. If the university had admitted you to your course, you are considered one of the brightest and the best.
11 CHARITABLE FUNDING You may be eligible for the following in Great Britain in their final year external charitable grants: of a DPhil. They can also provide Funds for Women Graduates (FfWG) emergency grants. helps women graduate students www.ffwg.org.uk/ with their living expenses (not fees)
See also: www.graduatewomen.org/what-we-do/grants-fellowships/
“Sitting in the college bar after a college formal dinner, I saw the jaws of two 19-year-old freshers drop as I explained to them that I was married with children. To them I appeared an extra-terrestrial – so far removed from their student experience that they were momentarily lost for words. But student reactions to parenthood are in my experience always positive – many people are interested to see someone living out a way of life they may one day wish to follow, and appreciate an invitation to a family meal.” Sam (DPhil Theology)
12 STUDENT PARENT HANDBOOK COMMUNITIES At some of the Graduate Baby and toddler groups run at Accommodation sites, kids whizz Castle Mill (Friday mornings) and around on scooters and bikes and Court Place Gardens (Tuesday several student parents are well- mornings). If you don’t see things connected, meeting for BBQs, kids’ like this happening, why not put up a birthdays, and chatting day-to-day. poster and organize a child-friendly It makes a massive difference to meeting in a communal area where student well-being to be able to meet you live? people in similar circumstances. The University Newcomer’s Club Join the facebook groups of various aims to help the newly-arrived wives, Graduate Accommodation areas, if husbands or partners of visiting you live there. They are often a great scholars, of graduate students and chance to exchange information and academics to settle in and to give baby things, and even arrange social them the opportunity to meet people events: in Oxford: www.newcomers.ox.ac.uk/
Castle Mill NB: No-one’s student experience is www.facebook.com/groups/ plain-sailing, and some things are castlemillresidents/ hard to talk about with friends. Some discover their college welfare officers, Court Place Gardens chaplains, and the university www.facebook.com/groups/ counselling service to be important CourtPlaceGardens/ resources. Summertown House www.facebook.com/ groups/299521963584674/ Alan Bullock Close www.facebook.com/groups/ alanbullock/
13 OXFORD SU EVENTS In the past, Oxford SU have organised events for student parents including:
>> picnics
>> tea & toy events
>> local playground dates Keep track by joining the student parent facebook group and mailing list (see p. 5). The rationale behind these events is to be a catalyst and facilitator of student parent relationships.
Some student parents have great networks of support – others feel more isolated. Come to our events to contribute to the wellbeing of your student parent peers and find support where it’s needed. If you have an idea for an event or wish to host one near where you live, please be in touch and it can be publicised more widely.
14 STUDENT PARENT HANDBOOK CHILDREN’S ACTIVITIES
Click ‘Activities’ at the Oxfordshire Family Information Service for a very helpful searchable database of toddler groups, children’s clubs, etc: OxonFIS fisd.oxfordshire.gov.uk/kb5/oxfordshire/directory/ home.page
15 We’re here to help! MONDAY APPOINTMENT VISITS: Your SU’s experienced 11.00am-12.00pm | 2.00-4.00pm Advisors are here to Oxford SU | 4 Worcester St help you find answers to problems you may face. TUESDAY APPOINTMENT VISITS: 11.00am-12.00pm | 2.00-4.00pm Oxford SU | 4 Worcester St WEDNESDAY APPOINTMENT VISITS: 11.00am-12.00pm Oxford SU | 4 Worcester St DOG WALKS: 12.00pm Uni Parks | Keble Gate Entrance INDEPENDENT, DROP-IN VISIT WITHOUT APPOINTMENT: FREE & 2.00pm-4.00pm | Oxford SU CONFIDENTIAL 4 Worcester St THURSDAY ADVICE APPOINTMENT VISITS: 11.00am-12.00pm | 2.00-4.00pm Oxford SU | 4 Worcester St MEDITATION SESSIONS IN COLLEGE can be booked by contacting an Advisor by email MONEY & HOUSING ADVICE SESSIONS IN COLLEGE can be booked by contacting an Advisorby email Appointment visits or telephone sessions are booked online: oxfordsu.org/advice
16 STUDENT PARENT HANDBOOK