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The student ‘news’paper of Imperial College London Guardian Student Newspaper of the Year 2006, 2008 Issue 1,430 Friday 1 May 2009 felixonline.co.uk felix Inside Science - Wind powered cars! Page 8 Travel - Hitchers guide to hitchhiking Pages 10-11 Tech - Gadget Show Live! Pages 16-17 Music - Summer Ball Camden Crawl Unionline-up finally starts to listen to its studentsreleased about entertainments, but why has it taken so long? See pages 4 & 5 Page 13 2 felix Friday 1 May 2009 Friday 1 May 2009 felix 3 News [email protected] News News Editor – Kadhim Shubber and Dan Wan [email protected] ‘UCL’ shits all over Imperial A Second Life for Imperial The world beyond News in Brief college walls medical students Green Week competition winner Dina Ismail The winners of Imperial College Union’s ‘Greening Imperial’ competi- News Correspondent tion are announced online today, with two students sharing the £1000 prize. The judging panel consisting of estates staff, the College’s new Imperial College third-year medical Program Director for Corporate Social Responsibility, academic staff, students are taking part in a pilot pro- Deputy President (Education & Welfare) and the RCSU President who France gram that allows them to practice diag- part-funded the competition made the unanimous decision to award nosing and treating patients- all in the the prize to two research students, Adele Peel and Steven Johnston President Sarkozy has opened an exhibition containing ten projects by virtual world. for their practical approaches to making Imperial more sustainable. Dan Wan of UCL students. bag of shit purely to deposit its con- international architects which outline their vision for Paris in 2029. The prospective doctors are treat- Adele’s idea tackled student halls, proposing a competition be- Editor-in -Prowling “I’m doubtful as to whether it was tents on a table? If not, who would Sarkozy’s grand plan is for a greener city, and the ten options include radi- ing virtual patients in Second Life, a tween halls to reduce their energy use and waste production. Steven actually UCL or our students trying to bring a poor farmyard animal into the cal ideas like a monorail network, recycling stations buried beneath parkland 3D internet world where users live focused on the disposable paper cups available from catering out- After years of Imperial shitting all over put the blame on someone else – there depths of London and have it shit all and local power generation. and interact through online alter egos, lets across the College, with a three-step approach to reducing the ‘UCL’ in the league tables, ‘UCL’ have is absolutely no solid evidence to sug- over a snooker table?” Another stu- Nicknamed the “City of Light”, Paris is usually defined as everything within called avatars. It is however far from number we use as well as recycling the ones handed out. finally ‘shat’ back in a fashion befitting gest who it was.” Miss Topham duly dent, who wished not to be named, the périphérique or ring road, giving it an official population of two million playing out long held fantasies of being The People and Planet Green League 2009 will be announced in the to their intellect, and the only tables in- noted the absence of 3rd floor video also described the Union’s third floor people. But the French capital is surrounded by a plethora of suburbs and a doctor in the world of ER or Grey’s Autumn term. volved were snooker tables. surveillance. as “smelly as fuck”. felix concurs with towns administered by separate county councils and inhabited by a further Anatomy. Instead, it is a step by step For more details visit imperialcollegeunion.org/green. During the closing days of the Spring “This incidence has highlighted the both witnesses. The damaged snooker six million people. exercise in patient care and treatment term, the Union snooker rooms were problems with security – particularly tables have since been relayed with new Pressure has been growing to merge some of the neighbouring councils management. broken into and heavily vandalised; on the upper floors of the Union, be- felt. Topham assured that the damage together into something akin to the Greater London Authority for London’s A virtual hospital has been set-up including the deposition of faeces on cause, although the Union has inves- would not be inflicted on the Snooker eight million inhabitants. While Sarkozy is pushing for this, he is opposed by and designed to look like Imperial’s ICU RAG Mag: Funny and Free! snooker tables. The tables and walls tigated available CCTV footage and Club financially. the Socialist Party which is in office in most of the councils and which sup- own real-life facilities where every- were also targeted. Graffiti included questioned stewards on duty during “As soon as the scene was discovered port the decentralisation. thing is made to mimic the actual ex- Funny and Free! Well that’s not the complete truth but it’s definitely several ambiguous but aggressive mes- that night, there is no CCTV on the top we informed the club and to ensure perience of being on a hospital ward. funny. The ICU RAG Mag, a time honoured student joke book, is re- sages, such as “fuck off” and “c*nt”. To floor of the building and during busy that they wouldn’t suffer materially Even online versions of members of leased today. Funded by advertising revenue the magazines make whom these messages were targeted is nights it is very difficult to track every from these actions. The Clubs and So- staff bear an eerie resemblance to their money for charity by readers donating their coppers to a RAG tin. still not clear, but it is thought that the person in the Union building who takes cieties Board had unanimously voted real-life appearance. These can be found in either the union shop or union bar. If it makes unruly depictions of genitalia are to it into their head to do damage.” She to fund the refelting of the vandalised USA From the comfort of a classroom, you laugh, donate! This year’s charities are Barnardos, Shelter and provide clues. also reassured us that the Union Build- snooker tables from Contingency, students can log into the virtual medi- the Rainbow Trust. Any students wishing to nominate a charity for A carefully constructed structure ing’s security was also under “whole- however, Sport Imperial very kindly David Kellermann, acting Chief Financial Officer (CFO) of US mortgage cal world and transport their avatars How attractive do you think the real medic behind this avatar is? next year are welcome to fill out the form on the inside back cover made of broken snooker cues, trian- scale review” for the new term. offered to help as well, so my sincere giant Freddie Mac, was found hung in his basement after apparently to the computer-generated hospital. and post it in to the RAG pigeon hole in the SAC. gles and a chair was also erected on The faeces was thought not be of thanks to Neil Mosley [Head of Sport committing suicide. There they check in at a reception At Imperial, RAG Mags have been produced for at least the last 20 top of an uncovered snooker table. human origin, and is reckoned to be Imperial] for his support.” 41-year old Mr Kellermann had worked for Freddie Mac for 16 years, be- desk, put on an access badge and pick a friendly chat is needed, students can ple you may wish to ignore- if only real years. Previous magazines feature jokes which are unpublishable by Its delightful centrepiece featured an sheep’s, by the well-proven investiga- Topham went on to condemn the ginning in his mid-twenties as a financial ana- up their assignment to begin work. If communicate with their professors life were that easy. today’s standards, with one magazine even being banned for sale impressively large piece of excrement. tive method of scratch’n’sniff. After people responsible for the vandalism lyst, and rising through the ranks of the cor- an assignment takes place in a respi- and other colleagues within the world Although the program is not part of around college! The initial cover this year was itself refused for being The owners were seemingly so pleased extensive examination of Beit Quad “Whoever did this needs serious psy- poration. The death was reported by his wife ratory ward, students have access to through their avatars. the medical school’s official curriculum too risqué. Who says you can’t publish jokes about a certain MP who with their creation, they decided to CCTV however, there were no sight- chological counselling if they think at their home in eastern state of Virginia. recordings of real-life patients’ breath- As enjoyable as playing doctors may quite yet, in the future, educators see it was caught in an expenses scandal? sign their name beneath it; the letters ings of any farm animals within the that was they did was funny or accept- Freddie Mac is a private corporation that ing to help with their diagnoses. And sound, this game-based learning does as a new way of learning for students ICU RAG Mag, entertaining students for 20 years - pick up your copy ‘UCL’ were found painted onto the Union compound. able behaviour.” deals with financial services, namely owning if it is decided that x-rays are needed, not aim to replace traditional face-to- that also taps into their sophisticated along with the Felix from points around college today! table felt with an unidentified white The snooker rooms, which are found At the end of the Spring term, an- or guaranteeing mortgages.