Nominations for ASCIT Prez, famous, renowned, Veep, and the most sought af ter, respected, esteemed, ho nored, influential, notable, cherished, reputable, presti gious, worthy,
• I Swanson and Cathy Hafer. The kids were all thrilled that I was float was roped off, but thousands waving especially to them! We're ofpeople fIled by to see it. Ourjob some serious time in thera was to run around the float, wave py later in life. Then there were the at the masses, and to shake hands. bigger kids that will Especially to shake hands. "I must spend some time in have shook hands with every These kids were in Pasadena!" said John Krowas. and face and We also had to answer all sorts real beaver!" of annoying questions like "What's lot of time the float supposed to do?", "Why But once day was didn't you guys have a prank?" and was worth it. We had a lot of "Newton? Where's the city of New and some more will ton?" That's why I preferred to recogrrize the name \..- Crime Is there a in Pasadena? Read the first and about and to avoid these JlUHU" I.n cidents. 12/7 A student to CarnplJS from Jack in the Box 'C do was harrassed on Hill three persons a ~ When the student he was r.r. pus by one ofthe persons who had been in £ 12/7 Another student was on HoIhston with three persons, between 15 and 18 in the vehicle of the persons dent was a " A Sh0l1 time later a person, aploarently Caltech's entry, "For Every Action...A Reaction" is a popular float in the Pasadena Rose Parade. the ran up behind the person and stole 12/7 A third student was jogging east on Lomb'arcii Chris Martin & Hansen isn't working the rest of it can't I thought the float looked good was approached three persons apIlan~ntjly Ya know, never said that work either. Ya see, our computer even .without the animation. We years old. The was asked was a '-'U.,."".u ,,,.uu'_u,. being a beaver would be pretty. I that controlled the whole works had a lot of Caltech students help When he didn't a demanded his mean, I I'd be all sweaty broke down. Typical, huh? Per- ing to finish the float. They had the the student when student had no wallet. and my feet would hurt and all. But sonally, both ofus hate computers. job ofattaching thousands off1ow peets fled in a a late model Ford those Beaver costumes were just You just can't trust them to do any- ers in the last couple·of days be a car approached the scene. dog ugly! I would've fit in better on thing right, especially control a pa- fore the parade. When it was done, 12/7 A computer, locked down in room 51 of Sloan Lab Halloween than New Year's. rade float. And if you're reading even Bob thought it was a good ble, was found stolen. There was no evidence of The funny thing was, the kids this article, it's a stinking miracle, looking float. That's '01 Bob 12/9 Three unknown persons were found instrume:nts loved them. Their eyes got all wide cause it probably had to go through Newhart, the Grand of lobby of Security was when saw me and most of about three computers to get to the parade. He told me, "That's a vised that they were trespassing, and were escorted off I,;'''''"IYU'', them wanted to shake my hand. you. Anyway, we had to control good looking float." 12/11 A student parked and locked his bike in the rack east of The rest of the crowd kinda liked the float by hand, after that. So it I said, "Thanks, Bob," but I etts House. The student returned and found his bike miissirlg too, even ifthey couldn't tell didn't quite look right, and it was don't think he heard me my a piece of the lock on the J-;llJUHU. they were supposed to be beavers. kinda confusing to watch if you beaver mask. 12/14 A student found that the side rear window of her car was Some people thought we were didn't understand what was sup- After the parade was over, we broken, and the dashboard and stereo had sustained extensive or chipmunks, or gorillas. posed to be happening. parked the float on Sierra thc~ugltlt damage. The car was in the Michigan Del Mar parking lot. the giant foam rubber The float didn't even work dur- Madre. About time, the 12/17 A member of the staff had parked his 1991 Mercury Tracer tails were a dead giveaway. But ing the initial judging. That's prob- beavers were getting so in one of the spaces south of the tennis courts while the courts most ofthe people camping out on ably why we didn't win any of the were replaced by the second were undergoing surface work. He noticed that the hood the Colorado were about as dumb as a awards we so richly deserved. But That was me, John Krowas, Bill car had several scratches on it when he returned. bag ofball bearings, so I guess it's 12/19 A student had parked and locked his bicycle to the rack on the O.K. south side of Page The bike was found mi1;sing. When I rode down Colorado, I 12/19 A locked bicycle was removed from the rack at South found that the costume gave me a Catalina. over the spectators. 12120 A blue denim jacket was left on a chair in the COlnplJter room When waved at they waved of Jorgensen Lab. The jacket was without back. When I my hands, c1appe:d along with me. The the owner's permission. on the float found they 12121 A Ruddock House member showed skill in same There destroying a toaster, setting off the fire alarm and 12/21 The microwave oven in the House kitchen was disco- were seven of us in all: me, Mike vered by a custodian. There was no evidence of forced Nassir, Mark Laurie entry. the grad ofAlums named from JPL. 12/23 The driver's side window ofa member's vehicle on Wilson at San was smashled. It was a good crowd liked attt~mp'ting us, sure would've been 12/26 Another Ruddock House in ous burned toast in the first floor 1I\.1"_H we a Career war, Center counselor Allied You don't have to be made a resume! on Mond"ly The six films in the you missed the Work feature which be described in still have another film ever more detail in later issues of On Feb. 1991 (a Tues- the Will. This 1936 r" ._.~ and The CQilif,orlzia SWE is its an- directed Hitler's With tav()nte fli"",,,'''''' uni Rienfenst1l.hl, the Career .0 is 'a self-celebration of the Alumni Associ- o and the new ' and features n.c).l".1W. and some -a famous Nuremberg rally, others as welL This is goes. belief, this float is not from Newton college, and it is Isaac, to Rosenstone, was ac- We an get dressed for Newton, not Appleseed on the float. an intimate dinner at (for or write to 1-55, asking for as well as great be subsidized some of the fee a low fee, less than Celia, ASAP before spaces are the specifics of. (ahh ...the benefits of being a II-·n,.",,", variable depending on taken. . technical papers related to SWE member are so bountiful!). the number of companies involved) Another wonderful cause spon-- en~~m(~ering, no more than 10 OK. Let's say you're the quiet and get a chance to talk to sored the SWE is the (also an- pages of text. Deadline: March 1 type. You don't like to meet new Volume XCII 8 Number 11 reJ:)reSe!ltaltivl~s from various tech- nual) Panel. This 1991. Also, there's the people, you don't lilce to leave your 1991 cOlnpanies. Resumes are sub be fanriliar to the sophomores. "'""'ll'n'JA,'o.JlX room. Well, I've got one for Scholarships, open to EDITORS mitted to all the participating It a service provided to the members only. Deadline to types too! SWE Resume cmnp,mil~s Scott Kister and we all get good unknowing freshmen trying to de enter: 1, 1991. Scholar This is YOUR chance! This Re Emily Wen summer and jobs! cide on their major. Seniors are ship forms are Ruddock #236 or sume Book is so that when compa Lindee Goh Sound good? this event is pn:fel'abJle as panel speakers. It's call 578-9923 to have one mailed nies ask, "Do you have some even to non-SWE members and fun! If you are a to you. resumes for your oh-so-talented CI.UME BEAT EDITOR a small additional cover senior and would like to If money isn't your thing, but SWE members (so we can give Rob Ellis lots offun and a speak about your major (you'n get tra\relulg is, there's the SVVE Con them great paying 0P1PortuIlllty to that job you've a free dinner or something) give me ference at San Francisco State jobs...hint. ..hint)?" I can say, WRITERS to get. There's even a buzz. This event will tentatively University campus, to be held Feb. "Sure! Here it is, babe." Mail your Sam Dinkin door prizes, which is reason be held about the second week of 1-3. There will be several work resume to me or give it to me in Amy Hansen enough to show up!!! So when does third term. FROSH- BE THERE!! shops (technical, professional de person and I'll get copies of them Chris Martin this "opportunity knocks NOW" And now to $money$ talk. made for each of the interested velopment, student interests) you PHOTO EDITOR kind of deal gonna be?? Tuesday, SWE has a SWE Technical can choose to go to, as well as a companies. Michelle Tseng ,",'pf,rw7n,26, 1991. Reception be in Job Fair (20 companies, not just See all the stuffSWE can do for gins at dimler at 6:30. Ap which you can get transpor Bay area). If you are interested, PRODUCTION pn)xunately 50 spaces available. If tation to SWE National Student contact me. Entrance fee is $25-35, you?? Join now, like today! Appli- Nick Smith you are interested, call 578-9923 Conference in San Diego (June but ifyou're a SWE member, you'll cations Ruddock #236. BUSINESS MANAGER $onny Arcilla ADVERTISING MANAGER Joseph Chiu OFFICE MANAGER Gavin Claypool CIRCULATION Peyjen Wu Ayman Awad THE CALIFORNIA TECH 40-58 SAC California Institute of Technology Pasadena, California 91125 (818) 356-6154 Published weekly except during examination and vacation periods by Associated Students ofthe California Institute of Technology, Inc. The opinions expressed herein are strictly those of the authors. Letters and announcements are F E welcome. All contributions should !kine< from Anoth",,. Dimerllioll h,wc invilded your world include the author's name and phone Yo"(.,,n·l reprinted from the Daily Iowan by Susan Stephenson "It's Zen-like," says cartoonist Scott Dikkers on "Jim's Journal." "So many people don't get it. What Jim does is pointless." The "Jim idea" was introduced when Dikkers decided to express his characters' thoughts through Jim instead ofin diary form. "The characters act out Jim's diary," he said. "Jim couldn't possibly exist in reality," Dikkers went on. "He's a vessel which you see the world - a He never reacts because he's not a part ofit." Dikkers said Jim is modeled af ter a friend in California. "Jim's Korean. It's a fact that never comes up in the cartoon," Dikkers said. My friend "really didn't like the cartoons at first, but after saw a ofcartoons he changed his he said. Tony, on the other is a "stereotypical dumb, brash, sexist, college " said into more movies. Dikk!~rs. adding that he feels sor Peterson is based on aU ry for Tony but tries to make him cats, especially Dikkers' own cat, likable anyway. Felix. "(Felix) is a cat, Steve is Tony's friend from attacking our two cats, school, and Jim doesn't think kers said. In one episode, Steve have many friends in com- decided it was time to Mr. mon. In Steve is modeled Peterson fixed. seemed he after a friend from high knew his fate as was dis schooL cussed. "Humorless and set in his ways, it would be Steve is a typical "Star Wars" funny had never checked its into movies," ~." . gender made Mr. Peterson a said. girl. After COiTItfllZ back from the Steve has already made his first veterinarian's Steve brcluglht movie Tony and Jim and the news. Tony said, Dikkers says Steve will prob- cat's a cat." Board Need a ride home after exams? Want to go to San Francisco for the weekend? Feel bad about driving alone? Want to save gas and help others as well? Now you can, with Caltech's new ride board, set up by the Caltech Environmental Task Force and the Caltech Y. Come by the Board, just outside the Y Office on the second floor of Win nett, and use the provided cards to offer a ride or look for a ride. Save money, hass le, time and gas! Reduce smog-use the ride board! J {lffb (!?ttaLonu g-aiIur- , 3519 E. BLVD (818) 793-2582 Hours: 9:00 a.m. - 6:30 p.m. Special rates lor CaltechlJPl community Free Christian Science Lecture If you're a senior or new graduate, you're If you're a senior or a recent graduate in going to be faced with some tough choices CS or Physics, make a choice that about your future. You've got the knowl opens up a world of options. Proof of U.S. Sunday, January 13, 1991 at 2:00. edge to excel in af1Y number of areas. But citizenship required. Equal Opportunity Arcadia Christian Science Church 100 W. Duarte Rd. (Four doors West of Santa Anita) which will be most rewarding for you? Employer. You are invited! find the answers in Santa Barbara. At Barbara Research Center, we'll give the opportunity to explore a variety of disciplines and make an informed career choice. Our two-year Engineering Rotation Pro gram consists of 6-month rotations into four different technical areas of the company. As a world leader in infrared and other advanced technologies for defense and commercial applications, we're working on Unisex Ha,;rstv!ir"a some of the most challenging and exciting projects around. And our Santa Barbara location offers a stimulating environment away from work. SANTA BARBARA RESEARCH CENTER a subsidiary (816) 795-5443 No Appointment Needed The CaJlit·OI~nia Hint for the Lovelorn: We all know how awkward it is to pay social calls. One ~oes not want to look foolish if she is not in. People will notice when you Inside World Policy: walk m and out. So what to do when she lives in Ruddock? Our suggestion is ~o an~ I An Inside Worlds must include the author's name. Inside worlds can only to to Lloyd's library look out the window to see if her room light is on. This guy teaches bridge lessons and be written by current undergraduates. The editors reserve the right to edit any !hls prevents you from bemg embarrassed by the guy who is playing basketball Things are grave for me now, or an parts of an Inside World, or to not print it at all. No libelous material III the courtyard. Mark says he is getting poor buying sodas trying to make it actively recruits new players to the if I do not do something spectacu will be accepted. It is the author's responsibility to check material written about look like that is what he is really there for. Don't worry Mark Roto-Rooter's game. lar, declarer will make this con sister will go out with you. ' + 73 a person to see if they consider it libelous. tract. I trumped in and threw Some ofthe frosh still have not gotten the hang ofregistration. Sacha Malin 'V 86 o KJ72 On this hand, after a question caution to the four winds. I cashed wanted to know where McKeown Building was located, after all that's what it the king of clubs and led low to Blacker 1200 said in the course listing. Get a clue, that's the profs name. • AJ865 able overcall by me, the enemy This Week's was written by: Dabney 11 00 Since none of our frosh flamed or got DASHed, we can't write about them + AK8652 ended up in three spades. Declarer partners jack and ace of clubs. On +JT the ace of clubs, I pitched the ace Jeff Hagen Fleming 13 0 0 in public..In~tead, let's try to predict who will win the Jen Wright memorial 'V KJT4 'V Q3 starts out off four top tricks and a of hearts, looking at the king in Ricketts: Alex Sugiyama & Amit Mehra Lloyd 26 1 1 award. Will It be Brent? Who knows, time will tell. T985 o A4 trump trick. After the opening di o .dummy! After declarer followed to Ruddock: Chris Martin Page 2200 Rumor has it that Mad Groper will join the Back Rub Club. Beware. • Q74 • T92 amond lead to the 8, K, and A, Ruddock 2622 It seemed like certain members of the Back Rub Club flamed big time last declarer returned a diamond and all three clubs, I knew he started Ricketts 15 3 3 term, you know who they are; no names are necessary. Parents, please advise + Q94 'V A9752 my partner signaled with the deuce. with three clubs, two diamonds, your children not to join in, those backrubs can be dangerous. Just go to a hotel two hearts, and that he had to have room. o Q63 If I had been paying attention and • K3 known that declarer had two and at least six spades for his UAU'I,UU:!,>. know what the problem with Christmas break is? You have to come Next week: Profile on Danny Holste-Lille. That meant my ace of hearts was back. Not just come back, but come back with all sorts ofuse1ess stuffyou have The Playoff Picture: Look for the Raiders for trash the Sin-sin-@-tea Bea Vul: N-S my partner had four, then the two to find a place for. Like that set ofluggage you got for Christmas. Sure it's use gl~s. Bo Jackson will bust another big one. The press has been down on the ofdiamonds would show a not to take a trick. but what are you going to do with it? Where are you going to put it? The Giants for weeks, look for them to have a big game. Play the over/under betting East South West North ence for clubs. room? Sure, if willing to go down there. Have you ever stood in on the over. Washington will take the 4gers, taking advantage of their weak I + 2 'V 2 NT Pass As it was, I fell asleep and con said, "yeah, the trunk room, with out, and listened? You hear breathing. And drool secondary. The 4gers can be beaten deep. In a close game, Miami will take Buffa 3+ Pass Pass Pass tinued a third diamond. Declarer and another club. He was drilPpillg on concrete. claws scraping against cardboard boxes. Basi- lo, not that anyone cares since it is a AFC game. trulmI>ed partners jack in hand and familiar with the some kind of henish creature just waiting to make a meal out of some in- It is now when folks speculate about who will be elected House president. led three ofhearts. At this If! have of declarer nocent person their dysfunctional Christmas presents away. They'll tell act~0.n Opening lead:3 0 !hat's useless..The real is the .race for Ath team, that's where the glory had a second chance to recover has the deldarer can draw my you that all down there are rats, but then again, they told us asbestos was is. The refereemg Opportuillties proVide excellent face time for all those think leads a safe too. Besides, we know all the rats are down in the Coffeehouse. ing abour running for ASCIT offices. Its a good way for you to get to know I defended this hand at Arts from my stupor. If I take the ace So, how about that Caltech Rose Parade Float? Hmmmm. I asked some rela those North House guys. Bridge Center in Arcadia last I can still cash three more neither nor can tives .ab?ut it, they thought Isaac Newton was neat, but they couldn't figure out Remember, close the door frosh. Saturday. Art Gulbrandsen runs a clubs and a but I did not. declarer loses. East can the slgmficance of an the raccoons. I was worried that we wouldn't have any See ya next week. fun game at 333 Santa Anita. Art At no point did I stop to out ruff low which case I can over- pranks on New Year's, but I guess the float was prank enough. It did actually - Meeb and the Dweeb is a guy who comes over once what was in declarers I or he can ruff in which seem to work on TV, God knows Stephanie and Steve didn't know what was played low, that case I score my later. Ruddock in a while to direct special events on. the time it drove by us though, it was rather, well, inert. Actually, at the Caltech Bridge Club. Art declarer would in ten of is declarer of New Year's was walking around on Colorado the night before. You see what you get? You darn Lloydies, with all your money, choose to offers a Caltech student discount hearts and lose to partners loses a Note that even Looked a Interhouse. Ifyou didn't get your free peanut butter M & M's, get some cheap apartments instead of the expensive condos Ruddock went for. And what happens? They burn down! Sorry, guys, but if you feel like whining ask him about it if you go over A fourth diamond was the board was out of the you weren't dick. and discard gave declarer not:hirlg Not much going on in Lloyd these though there's only been three of about it this weekend, don't look for me. I'm gone skiing! there. He also pays you five dol the and declarer them. a ben. Yeah. Camp blew up. Yeah. We're all I'm for a higher injury count this year than last year. Actually, the lars the first time you there. the queen hearts. this time. to get Yeah. Caltech have a 1: 1 ratio sooner than we we had last yearwas an unconfirmed report that Mateo got frostbite Too bad we won't be around to it. I one Now gal"bOllZ3IS. So just because you can't ski, don't be afraid to us on has moved off, does he still we all the Actually, we could score some breaks and sprains off slopes, too. Cause ain't no DAPAC at Snow Sunmlit! And those steps are a bitch to walk they're glazed with ice. And when your glazed, too. If you Ricketts know I mean. And I think you do. So what happened here over break? While Dick Clark was having his Rock Dear Readers, New Year's Eve, me, Del, and John Kiowas were having our own Stum- Welcome back to Caltech. Since the frosh have been with us a term, it is now to reany make fun of them. It is not a harsh thing to do since New Year's Eve. Hey Page. Wonderin' where designer shopping cart it If it were not for the upperclassmen, 95 % ofthe frosh 'would I don't really remember, to tell you the also went to the Santa I have no per'SDrla!ilty Anita shooting range and taught Amy how to defend herself against Arab ter Ultimate is the next Interhouse Sport, here are some rumors: rorists and John when he's horny. We also went to the L.A. auto show and picked (TOP) Hamlet (Mel Gibson) out the new Red Rhino Party Van. A Ford Econoline 350. Armor plated. 450 Mark says, "We're going to kick Lloyds' Butt, up and down, left and stares in disbelief at the ghost ofhis bhp V-8. Ram grill. Cool sirens. $110,000. I'm taking donations. John Krowas " He the Maroon Machine's Ultimate team will destroy all. dead father (Paul Scofield), the late also cleaned Nina's room. You'll make a fine wife someday, John. . The Ri~kett~ Rob Miles, expressed interest about playing. His first ques- King of Denmark. (BOTTOM) tIon was, SO IS physical? Do we play Thursday?" Ya know, I was sniffing around Gary's dumpster the other day, and I started Queen Gertrude (Glenn Close) Rumor has it Russ Manning has decided to show up for second term so he thinking about Chris Dicely. He is outta here! Need we say more? Yes, we need. Read all about it in next week's BFD. KIis, Netta, and Keith are also outta here. feels she can no longer listen to can anymore of Hamlet's words as her us this week, by from Cor- Actually, they're just off-campus, but Kris says we'll never see her again. Kinda like Nancy Hong. Guess she don't like it here no more. A little bitter, (kinda emotions are exhausted in "Ham Johnson from the Rick- let," the moving adaptation ofWil "She's a traitor," commented John. John like Nancy Hong)? Speaking ofbitter upperclassmen, Nik is back. And he says he's gotten over Ham Shakespeare's immortal play, res'urg;em:e in ;;\thletics. "You guys should con- Oriental women, which means he's desperate. So watch out girls. Keith finally directed by Franco Zeffirelli. The came back today. I thought he had been drafted onto Desert Shield. could see Warner Bros. release also stars him in his black raincoat and beret, looking at his boots, kicking sand, saying, Alan Bates, Ian Holm, and Helena "You know what guys? I really hate it here! No one wants to do anything but Bonham-Carter. sit around." But he came back to find out that Ali had melted his amp trying to play 200 watt speakers through 28 gauge wire. Guess Ali misses those frosh Phys labs. Fang's new name is Saint Bobo Rodriguez. L E p Well, I gotta go. We've gotta party here in Alley 4 that's going to get crank s T s E R F o x y T ing in a few minutes. I hope I saw you there! Can fi hi M E c o u D T s L o D x s studel1t loan that's pay it off. ABATE FRANCHISE A A A o A B A R c E o o u ,;p<::."o.\!V RT ACT OF GOD LIEN Ifyou we reduce your debt R N G T ,;p~;;)O.\JIJ RT AGENCY MARTIAL LAW R o B I M R c R B 1/3 for each year you serve as a New York $330.00 RT ARBITRATION NOVATION soldier, so after just 3 years you'll BAILMENT PATENT T o A L B A o E v I o T p Phoenix $ 48.00 RT CAVEAT EMPTOR PRIVITY have a clean slate. p CONSIDERATION PROBATE I T G I T R o T D N w a You'll also have training a DAMAGES PROOF A T E p Delivery driver. Full or part-time. They aren't looking for look alikes. They're choice of skills and enough DEED PROXY T o p v y o A y E after students that stand out. (Note our self-assurance to last you Bangkok $796.00 RT DURESS REMEDY friend with the pennant.) The kind ofstudentsthat have attended EASEMENT SUBPOENA L s R D the rest of your life. $1146.00 RT R E E T A G N x N Hourly plus comission. The Ronkin Educational Group's Grad Bound program, the grad $1165.00 RT ESCROW SUMMONS l u v E uate school prep program that not only teaches you how to score Get the details $488.00 RT ESTOPPEL TORT A x I R E F E o A FELON TRUST high on the LSAr, GMAT or GRE, but shows you how to write your Army Recruiter. $668.00 RT A R N E You must have your own car. Proof of license, academic resumes and personal statements that get you noticed. $635.00 RT Answlers on 8 T v T N A o I R T registration, and insurace required. Ifyou want to be spotted as astudent with potential, head for The w T R Ronkin Educational Group. Call now about ourfree diagnostic test. More lowest fares are available. o I A c E p T l p N Prices are subject to change. ACADEMY III One-on-one attention III Flexible hours s u B M Call (818) 397-2400 o y E F A c I a N III Unlimited tutorial Ongoing diagnostic evaluation 27 N. Catalina Ave., Pasadena R E Open Tues.-Sat., 8 A.M.-5 P.M. o s N x y v N A l o T if you want In, got 449-1681 S NOM S Y 0 T A E V A N THE s " Irvine " Yorba Linda C N A R F c R a w (714) 857-3600 (714) 572-0123 " Mission Viejo " Or call1-800 or (714) 768-3600 2-TEST HI for i~ " Palos Verdes " West Los Angeles more informa (213) 544-1700 (213) 312-4900 ______... on 1I:'~,d_ tionabout necessary. " San Marino WoodlandHills the location See Dr. S. PhiiliDS. RESALE CLOTHING (818) 308-0012 (818) 884-1166 nearest you. for 1302 North Altadena '(Formerly Janet Ronkin's Colle e Bound) WOMEN Pasadena • 797-6778 1136 E. Green St... Pasadena (81 New Patient HAPPY HOUR SPECIAL (Tues. & Thurs., 2-6 p.m.) Cleaning/Exam $18.00 (reg. $70.00) (818) 796-9924 expires June 1991 Wed 10-6 @ Mon-Tue-Thu-Fri 10-5 0 Sat 10-3 Answlers on 8 ACROSS 41 "... not with --- 19 Political disorder but a whimper." 20 - cit. (footnote Where one might 43 Return on invest abbreviation) study Andy Warhol's ment (abbr.) 21 Traveled on a works (3 wds.) 44 Pondered Flexible Flyer 12 Enrollment into 45 Belonging to Mr. 24 Glorify coll ege Starr 25 Prospero's servant assa es. 14 "Calculus Made Sim- 47 Part of the classi in "The Tempest" ple," e.g. (2 wds.) fieds (2 wds.) 28 Well-known govern RowenOak 16 Evaluate 48 Possible place to ment agency Ari, Ari, pumpkin fodder 17 Extremely small study abroad (2 wds) 29 American league 18 Follows a recipe 52 Small school in Can team (abbr.) Had a wife but didn't want her. direction ton, Ohio (2 wds.) 30 Fictional hypnotist Put her in a tesseract 19 Belonging to Mr. 53 Orson Welles film 32 Style exemplified In which she just fit if neatly packed. Pacino classic (2 wds.) by Picasso Dedicated to Ari Kaplan 22 Of land measure 33 "She's By Winifred Plop Ding Erkel Erkel 23 Meets a poker bet DOWN (from "Flashdance") 24 ---- Gay (WW II 34 Be unwell Zig Zag Kali Kali Kahari (The plane) 1 Those who are duped 35 Visible trace Silly Candidate) 26 Capri, e.g. 2 "Do unto ----... " 36 Think 27 Belonging to Mayor 3 Fourth estate 37 Woman's under- I wish I had a headlight Koch 4 Goals garment As green as shiny newts. 28 Irritate or 5 Well-known record 38 Commit --kiri I doubled it at Parkington embitter label 40 - burner 30 Train for a boxing 6 Well-known king 42 "...for if I - And tangled up my boots. match 7 151 to Caesar away ... 11 Dedicated to David "Klein" Perlman 31 ---- and the 8 Prefix meaning milk 44 Actress Gibbs and his Hoopdee Belmonts 9 Confused (2 wds.) 46 African antelope Noseflesh the Unknowing 32 Processions 10 - husky 47 Well-known TV band 35 Diet supplement 11 Most immediate leader (abbr. ) 12 Like a sailboat 49 Pince---- Ari, Ari, on safari, 38 Scottish historian 13 Cash register key (eyeglass type) How does the hunting go? and phil osopher (2 wds.) 50 1968 film, " "With animal rights activists shooting 39 College in Green 14 En - (as a whole) Station Zebra" the breeze, vi-lle, Pa. 15 Auto racing son of 51 1965 film, " I'll get no good photos, you know." 40 The Venerable ---- Richard Petty Ryan's Express" @Edward Julius By Milli Fifi Vanilla Fweeble Dink Dilly Doogan ran out in the street To fetch his palsied cat. Along came a steam roller, all trash to delete Amsterdam And squashed Dink D. Doogan Atlanta 'Til he wasn't so round anymore. (The cat escaped). Barcelona Dedicated to Tod Kurt Berlin By Fifi Fletch Lives Boston Rub-a-dub-dub, Seth in a tub, And who do you think he sees? Brussels Four Ruddock women peeking in Caracas the door, Snapping shutters and shouting, Chicago "Cheese!" Cleveland Dedicated to Seth Bittker, a Studly Moses indeed Copenhagen By Polyethylene Dallas Sing a song of six-pence Dusseldorf (All that Ari's got) EuroCenter Called his mom and begged for more But send it she would not. Frankfurt Geneva When his letters he opened, Ari began to sing, Hamburg For Hans Enfrans* had left him bucks Helsinki And some weird slimy thing. Hong Kong *Hans Enfrall1S, n. North American bike brownie. Frequently appears on Houston Saturday night to pump you up. Lisbon See Brownie In Motion, ed. Z. Xyliri, for further information. London Los Angeles Madrid Melbourne Mexico City FOR RENT- Milan FOR RENT SECURITY CONDO at "Cordova East" 2 blks Caltech Partly furnished stu dio 2 parking pool. No pet/minors. Very Monterrey nice 356-6331 (0), 792-9053 (E). Munich DUARTE HOME 2 BEDROOMS. Family New York room, new interior paint &wall-to-wall car pet. Move-in condition! $850/month plus & Osaka McKinsey Co. is an international strategic mani"gement consulting firm with 48 offices in security. (818) 357-0057. 23 countries around the world. We serve mostly Fortune and International 500 company top Oslo executives on issues of strategic importance. Our mission is twofold: to clients make REAL-ESTATE LOANS- Paris substantial and lasting improvements in their performance, and to build a firm that is able to INTEIlESTIlATES AilE DEClINING and now attract, develop, excite, and retain exceptional people is an excellent time to consider refinanc Rome ing your home, condo, or appartment units. Call "Clark" for info (818) 301-4922. Tem San Francisco Interviews will be held February 1991. Interview requests should be accompanied by a ple Financial. San resume, and SAT/GMAT/LSAT scores as available. Requests will be accepted at HELP WANTED- Sao Paulo the presentation or should be submitted by January 20, 1991 to: TEACHING ASSISTANTS NEEOEO to tutor Mr. Lambert students by phone. Teaching Assistants Stockholm needed in Computer Science and Computer Stuttgart McKinsey & Company, Inc. Engineering and Electrical and Mechani 400 South Hope Street cal Engineering. Tutor students by phone Sydney Los Angeles, California 90071-2890 at your convenience to supplement your Taipei income. Send resume & transcripts to Carena del Uno, Kennedy-Western Univer Tokyo sity, 28310 Roadside Dr., Agoura, CA Toronto 91301, 1-818-889-8443. Vienna RECEIVE $20 FOR PARTICIPATING in a Washington, D.C. study on work and marriage. Dual-earner couples wanted in which at least 1 spouse Zurich is a graduate student. (213) 326-6869. RATES. . .. $4.00 for first 30 words; ...10¢ for each additional word. Send written ad with payment to 40-58. Deadline is 6 p.m., Monday before issue. No charge for on-campus lost & found. SWE Spring Scholarships Chess Tournament On Campus Scholarship listings Submit announcements for What Goes SWE Spring $1000-4000 scholarships. James Broughton, poet and filmmaker, The Los Angeles County Chess Open The Financial Aid Office has applica On on forms available outside the Tech Open to sophomore, junior and senior wom will be giving a poetry reading in the Judy will be held the weekend of January 19-20 tions and/or infonnation on the following office (SAC room 40A) and in the en in engineering, with a minimum 3.5 Library in Baxter on Wednesday, January at Winnett Center on campus. This is a scholarships. All qualified students are en copy/mail room (SAC room 37), or use a GPA. Applications due February I, 1991. 16th at 4 pm. 5-round swiss time-controlled rated tourna couraged to apply. Our office is located at plain piece of paper. Send announce Interested? Call Celia Ng, 1-55,578-9923. ment. Maximum time limited to 4:30 515 S. second floor. ments to 40-58, or put them in the IN box Work in game. Must be members ofU.S. Chess The de Karman Fellowship outside the Tech office. Indicate the date(s) Be In The Ten If you the presentation about eration and Southern California Chess Fed Tmst has announced the availability often the announcement must run. Announce Caltech juniors are invited to participate working in a Caltech alum's facto- eration, but you can join at the tourney. Call f~ii~~i~~fJ~sof $6,000 each for 1991-92. The ments for the current issue must be in Glamour magazine's 1991 Top Ten Col ry, you still time to subn,;t a brief let- Frank: Perez at x6859, x2816 or 304-0549 f( are available to students enter- received by 5 pm Tuesday and should be lege Women Competition. ter of interest to the Deans' office. The for more details. ing their senior undergraduate year and shorter than 75 words. Announcements Glamour's prestigious competition deadline is Wednesday, Jan. 1991. If graduate students entering the tenninal will be published as space becomes avail honors college juniors of outstanding more infonnation is to Hoyt of school in the fall of 1991. able and will be chosen according to size achievement. This winners will be Hudson or Chris Ho, participants. up NOW to 31, and interest to the Caltech community. selected from five categories: Announcements for commerical events Creative arts/Communication/Humanities, Post-H,oliclays CLA.G,S, unrelated to Caltech will not be published. Science and Polit- C.L.A.G.S. will be holding a ics/International and Saturday, Jan. 12 from 4-10 Public Serv be an potluck Health Center Costs offeredfor In response to demand, the ~;a!d:~:'~~~~:r~~ x6892 Health Center and Service will categcJric's.j C will be intojudgedfiveon ""'.!"'.r'."".". is the Caltech Lesbian and Gay make their 1990-91 Spouse avail- excellence, involvement in com and we welcome all community to all students' spouses of munity or campus activities, and personal to join in our activities. their insurance The will be interests. $50 each the student's Ten winners will receive national Phantom of the account- for each Medical or nition in Glamour's October 1991 issue The Caltech Y has en- a cash an paid trip lar hit Phantom rolls in programs, be each to New to meet top profes- return ofMlctIAEL Lr<.PU"H'VltI,V, tenn. Registration forms for these sionals in their 29th at 8 pm. These most ex will be available at the Health Center. Contact the Dean of Students Office for orc:he~;tra seats are $50 and on sale may call for details at x6393. infonnation. Deadline is February 15, 1991. now to students to the general Caltech 21. U.S. Atbnm~y LIMlTTWO No Lourdes let The Games mail or phone orders will be accepted. Every The C~:::~~~~~~:~~~~~~,~ Central District c;a~~o'::Jn:~~ia~ Scientists Association OWC lunchtime talk on meet to enjoy rol,e-plavmg LA, Philharmonic Tickets CESASC, has announced 23 at noon in Winnett meetings are Clubroom The Caltech Y has a limited number of of two of awards. One is I or 33 ofthe SAC at 8:00 Meet tickets for 19, 8:00 pm L.A. Times, "She came to legal s~:~~r~,~~:ea~w:la~r~d~e:d on the ba- profession. Now she'll head the biggest fed others who share your interests. wel- at the Dorothy The con- sis of academic as as eral judicial district in the country." Bring come! Most common Friday games are fan- cert features conductor David Alan Miller demonstrated financial need. The other is your brown bag lunch to the talk of this tasy but it's a good time to find and pianist Alexander Toradze. Music for the Academic Award which is based on aca ground-breaking woman. Everyone is players whatever games you like. the evening includes Rands: Body and demic performance and extracurricular ac welcome. Shadow; Rachmaninov: Rhapsody on a tivities. Deadline to apply is January Teach Overseas Theme ofPaganini; and Mendelssohn: Sym 1991. Guitar Classes at ..."',,,><::... ,, The International Office for ASIA phony No.3. Tickets are $5, available at The College Women's Cllllh ,of lP'lI§lad,e Guitar classes for winter quarter will YMCA ofthe USA is assisting the Nation the Y. na is meet on Tuesdays starting Jan. 15th in Rm. al Council ofYMCAs ofJapan and Taiwan full-time un,kr:gra,du2lte of the SAC as follows: in recruiting people to teach English as a se laserium Tickets for a Start off the tenn right by attending Beginning class: 4:30-5:30 pm cond language in community-based Laserium, one of Southern California's lntennediate class: 3:00-4:00 pm YMCAs. Ifyou are interested, please stop Advanced class: 5:30-6:30 pm by the Caltech Y (2nd floor Winnett) for longest-running theatrical attractions. The Caltech Y has a limited number of tickets Classical and flamenco repertoires are mor infonnation. Application deadlines: explored but techniques transfer to other Taiwan, January 15 for July placement, for Saturday, January 12, 8:45 pm at the styles ofguitar. The beginning class includes April 15 for October placement. Japan, Griffith Observatory. The price is $6 and a jazz/folk chord system. Classes are free March 15 for September placement. the show will be "Laserroq of the 90's." to Caltech students and other members of the Caltech community (space pennitting). Art Center Courses Undergraduates can receive 3 units ofcredit Gameo's Trial Reconsidered Students interested in enrolling in if they choose. Private instruction on any On Thursday, January 17th at 4 pm in courses at the Art Center College ofDesign level can also be arranged. The instructor, the Judy Library in Baxter, Professor Mario in Pasadena can receive exchange credits at classical guitarist Darryl Denning, has an Biagioli ofUCLA will speak on the subject Caltech. There is a wide selection of The American and international background in perfonnance, of "GaIileo's Trial: A Reconsideration. This courses, including introductory courses in Surface Society has recording and teaching and can be reached talk is part of the Science, Ethics and Pub drawing, painting, graphic design and com scholarship available for under- at (213) 465-0881. lic Policy series. puter graphics. Daytime and evening sched graduates in at least their junior year in a ules are available. Tuition payment is chemistry, chemical engineering, environ waived, but students are responsible for any mental engineering, metallurgy, or materi Classes Folk Music Concert in Dabney special fees. als science program and graduates enrolled The Calteeh schedule of classes, as pub Guitarists Chris Proctor and Harvey The Art Center Spring Semester begins in a program leading to a master's or Ph.D. lished by the Registrar's office, has been ad Reid will perform tonight, January 11, at January 14, 1991. Check with Susan Davis degree. Award selections will be based on, 8:00 pm in Dabney Hall Lounge. Both are ded to the ouline INFO system, accessible in 221 Baxter for a schedule and course Don'l gel wrecked. Ifyou're nol but not limited to: career interest in surface via CITne!. A write-up on using the INFO fingerstyle guitarists who play music rang descriptions. finishing technologies, scholarship, achieve system is available from the CCO Consult ing from Celtic and baroque to ragtime and sober- or vou're nol sure ment, motivation, and potential. Awards are ing Office, 162 Jorgensen. blues. Reid also plays banjo and autoharp, Hollywood Posters lei someone else do Ihe driving not necessarily based on fmancial need. Ap and both are composers ofinstrumental mus If you STILL don't have a Hollywood plications must be postmarked by April 15, Service league Offers Money ic as well as perfonners. This is a Caltech T-Shirt or poster from the infamous event, Amessage prorided br this IlellSpaper 1991. The Caltech Service League now has a Folk Music Society concert. Tickets are $8 contact Joe Jensen, I-53 or 449-8306. A and Beer Drinkers of America general admission, $4 for Caltech students. few of both are still available. Attention Aero Students! fund request fonn. All campus organizations Applications for the AIAA/Industry requesting financial aid from the Service Planning To Visit Paris? Scholarship program are now available. League must use this form. The fonns are SEDSTUff These are $1000 renewable scholarships. Two Caltech grads who currently live Caltech SEDS (Students for the Explor available at the MOSH's office and at Lydia Last year odds for getting a scholarship were Matthew's office in Parsons-Gates, x6315. in Paris, Drs. David Brin and Cheryl tion and Development of Space) is holding Brigham, will be visitin L.A. this spring. a general meeting on Monday, Jan 14 at I in 2! Check the AlAA table or call 792-1513. Assembly Fellowship Program They would like to trade houses with some 7:30 pm in SAC Rm. 25, featuring the fIlm The California State Assembly is spon one who would be visiting Paris, roughly "For All Mankind." The agenda will include ®~ Feb. 25 - April I. If interested, please call discussions of SEDS experiments to be Geology $$$ soring the Jesse Marvin Unruh Assembly BEER DRINKERS Undergraduates in the Division ofGeo Fellowship Program. It is one ofthe oldest Tom McDonough at 795-0147, or write flown on the space shuttle, shuttle landings, mail code 138-78. a local SEDS conference in March, speak OF AMERICA logical and Planetary Sciences are en and most prestigious legislative fellowship couraged to apply for the Fritz B. Bums ers, 'star parties,' and more. PARTY*SMART programs in the nation. Up to eighteen in Prize in Geology. The award(s) will be made Gay/lesbian/Bisexual Discussion We are also sponsoring a tour of the dividuals are selected nationwide to spend for amounts up to $2,500 for the best A Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual discussion McDonnell Douglas model of Space Station II months in the Assembly as legislative proposals for undergraduate research in the aides and committee consultants. Stop by the group meets the 1st and 3rd Tuesdays of Freedom. We are leaving from the Cat III National Headquarters each month from 7:30-9:30 pm in the Health parking lot at 1:30 pm on Friday, Jan. 18. 150 Paularino Ave., Suite 190 fields represented by the Division. Career Development Center, 08 Parsons If you are interested in this opportuni Gates, for more information. Center. This confidential meeting is open For infonnation or reservations, please call Costa Mesa, CA 92626 to all members of the Caltech community. Philip Rosenthal at 577-4664 or corne to the ty, please write a short statement (less than 714/557-2337 one page) describing the research you would SWE Engineering Competition The first hour is devoted to discussion of meeting. a .specific topic, and the remaining hour is 1-800-441-2337 like to do. Selections will be made in Febru SWE Technical Presentation Competi ary, 1991. The proposed research can be tion (paper related to engineering). Must be open for general conversation and socializ January Blood Drive ing. Refreshments are served. For infonna There will be a one-day blood drive in loosely or closely tied to that of a Division undergrad SWE student member. Winners faculty member. Deadline: January 15, tion, please call 356-8331. For the meeting Winnett Student Lounge on Wednesday, get free transportation to SWE national stu 1991. Send proposals to Professor Kerry dent conference. Applications due by March on the 15th, there will be a discussion of January 16 from 9:45 am to 2:30 pm. Please how the holiday season went, and a plan "Bel'!" Drinkers of .\ml'ril'a is a IllHl-pnllil COIlSlIl1Wl" Illl'llIhel'ship Sieh, Divisional Academic Officer, Division 1, 1991. Interested? Contact Celia Ng, contact Denise Okamoto at x6374 for an ap organization open only 10 persons m{'!" tht, age of 11" ning session for the new year. pointment, although walk-ins are welcome. of Geological and Planetary Sciences, Mail I-55, 578-9923. Stop 252·-21. "Best Foreign Robert Redford - National Board Review Leona Olin Gerard Depardieu lowest Daily 7:00, 9:45 p.m. Daily 6:30, 9:20 p.m. Sat-Sun 1:20, 4:10, 7:00, 9:45 p.m. Sat-Sun 12:45, 3:40, 6:30, 9:10 p.m. , to pay it, but we do believe that a Elfie Stout OF COURSE) THERE',5 MORE Each year second term $5 contribution is eminently liERE 'WE. Ii/WE A LAB RAT) the Caltech Y has conducted a stu reasonable in light of the Y's con 5PECIALLY BRED TO BE. TO 5ClENCE. THAN JU:5T dent fund drive. Typically, students tributions to student life at Caltech. 5U5CEPTLBLE TO PEER HURTlNG ANIMALS) BUT involved in the Y have solicited To give you a feeling for the ef FRANKLY IT'S THE PflRT fect of this contribution, if all un- f'RE.55URE. their house members, who would, I LIKE BEST. if they wished, fill out a card dergraduates participate, here a.re ) specifying their contribution. some dollar figures: Decompres- This method has enjoyed sion, in which the great bulk ofun- ~(Jr:• moderate success, but overall has dergraduates participate, costs proven inefficient: though the Y's about $4000 per term, which services are directed equally at all would be the total one-term contri- Caltech students, the great bulk of bution of 800 students; if you take 1,.";.,;-~;;;:.1...:.._.:-..:-.-J."""''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''...... I contributions has come from the advantage of Decompression and '---'-_...I....I,;;;.;;;;;;...... Jl,... one or two houses with the best any other Y services, you will be fundraisers. This is neither fair to getting more from the Y than the DOC) WE I1AVE $5 per term you in. EVERYDAY YOU FEED those houses nor an TO TALK. source of revenue for the ASCIT currently contributes ME OVER f\ HUNDRED After considerable discussion, $3000 to the cost of Decompres FOUNDS Of MACARONI we have decided the the most ef- sion, and the annual undergrad AND AT fective and method of contribution to the Y is around CtlEE5E. ." $2000; if the automatic contribu Fl R5T I THOUGhT YOU the we need from stu- A- dents would be to institute an au tion replaced these two, the Y's ) I WERE. (fUST BEING A tomatic contribution of per program budget, excluding GOOD HOST. term. Before so, h01we,reL Decompression, would be in we wish to assure ourselves of the creased by about 35 %. In addition, "u~'l'vn of the com- to solicit funds from sources is made somewhat 1::::::::::~aat::::::::::::::~__ll""':,:::!-j! ~';;;;"'';;;;'''';;;;'''..,.",j,. to be an election on easier by the clear of __--l';;;;'''';;;;'''''''''''''''''...... 1 on the foillow'in£!: prclpoi,al: student financ;ial :SUIJlJlJH. Caltech Y I encourage you to care- peJrm:iHe:d to charge a $5 contri- about this proposal. For the to each stu- past years the Y has provided dent's account at the of a wide variety of services and pro each term. Any student may re- grams for Caltech students; by vot a refund at the Y office be- ing for this proposal you can help Add Day of the current term us to do so much better, at a very and his/her account will be credit reasonable individual cost. We ed." Note that the contribution will have set 200 votes as the minimum be refundable; we don't want to needed for an accurate assessment, force a fee on those who don't wish so please vote next Friday. IT 50UNDS UKE A RAT) TMATJ EJCAPED fROn A NEARBY AMf\llNG. THESE BABIES WHAT::> LABORATORY) CHEWI NG AREN'T JUJT A HOLE THROUGKOUR ) fOR GOOD LOOKs fRONT DOOR TO AVOID l 5URE DE-ATK fROM A ( YOU KNOW. MIDEOU5 MACARONI AND-CKEESE EXPERIMENT. ) "from page:; I TM Day Date Results Tue. Dec 11 America Bible Institute 93-55 Fri. Jan 4 Basketball Arizona College of the Bible 6 point loss Sat. Jan 5 Basketball International Bible College 19 point win Wed. Jan 9 Basketball Claremont-Mudd 40-93 Day Date Time Sport Opponent location Sat. Jan 12 8am-4pm Swimming SCIAC Invitational Caltech Sat. Jan 12 5:30 pm Basketball - ]V Pomona-Pitzer Pomona-Pitzer Sat. Jan 12 7:30 pm Basketball Pomona-Pitzer Pomona-Pitzer Wed. Jan 16 9:45 pm Ice Hockey USC #2 Pasadena Ice Center Wed. Jan 16 5:30 pm Basketball - JV Occidental Caltech Wed. Jan 16 7:30 pm Basketball Occidental Caltech Fri. Jan 18 5:00 pm Basketball - ]V Claremont-Mudd Claremont-Mudd Sat. Jan 19 11:00 am Swimming Pomona-Pitzer Whittier Sat. Jan 19 5:30 pm Basketba II - ]V Whittier Caltech Sat. Jan 19 7:30 pm Basketball Whittier Caltech ",,,-DEEDY H -\RC'H \..-anec:n Officially Approved Reports: $5.00 per page Mosrprofessional, courteous, economical and efficient service Over 50,000 topics and clippings. for your official and travel needs. Materials for research assistance use only!! Free service to you. 6546 Hollywood Blvd., 2nd Floor, Room 209 Los Angeles, CA 90028 Ail'lines_ Cruises, Tours, Hotels, Car Rentals. Mon-Fri 10:00-5:00 @ Sat 11:G0-4:oo In(:lividllal, Commercial, Groups. Custom Research Available AmEx @ VISA ® MasterCard Call Today! (213) 463-1257 468 S. Sierra Madre Boulevard, Pasadena