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You will obtain the author’s permission before publishing any material from the thesis. “She Watches Over Her Household”: Wellbeing of mothers and children in motherled households A thesis submitted in fulfilment of the requirements for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy at The University of Waikato by RACHEL LAMDIN HUNTER 2017 Abstract Wellbeing is a term used in everyday conversation, and by health professionals, policy writers and analysts, economists and others, to sum up one’s ability to flourish and live a rewarding, fruitful life. Family is deemed a significant source and determinant of wellbeing. Here, people may expect to receive the love, nurturance, and belonging all humans need to thrive, as well as the most basic needs for food, shelter and warmth. The many forms of family in societies such as New Zealand are of interest to those who posit that the conduct and wellbeing of mothers in families, is central to the flourishing of all within. Some families are believed to hold better promise of wellbeing than others. Families with mothers at the helm, motherled households, are constructed in research and public discourse, and enacted in policy, as sites of social and economic peril. Studies abound in which women and children in motherled households are depicted as suffering social isolation, lacking moral support, and experiencing material poverty. In this study I explore wellbeing in motherled households. My lived experience as nurse specialising in maternal, child and family health, and as a single mother for some time, is pertinent. Using Judi Marshall’s (1999) notion of life lived as the basis for inquiry, I grounded my study in a subjective, storied frame in which I troubled notions of wellbeing in families – notions which I had read in research, enacted in policy and practice, and questioned. Berger and Luckmann (1966) theorised that what is understood as true or real, is a result of socially-fabricated claims to truth; that is, they posit the social construction of reality. I explore the conditions under which truths about families and motherhood are constructed, bolstered by research, enacted in and enacting institutionalised policy. ii Institutionalised constructions of wellbeing and families constitute narratives writ large in research, policy and everyday conversation. I posit these as an example of the petrified grand narratives brought to my attention in the work of Boje (2008a). I read them now as monolithic, simplified and ultimately limited (and limiting) accounts of our humanity. The generation of living stories and their attendant many-voiced ante-narratives are seen as “bets on the future” (Boje, 2001), stories along the way to narrative. Antenarratives may interrupt or endorse a grand narrative. My thesis is a quest to story a version of those in motherled households which is rich and hopeful. My noticing of contradictions in these grand narratives led me to seek conversations with mothers, and to share their stories in a reconstructed conversation. These mothers understood wellbeing in their motherled household as a deeply entwined and connected process. Women storied wellbeing in unique, individual, and evolving ways. These women valued their families as sites of purpose, wellbeing and intentionality, a version of family and wellbeing not told elsewhere. Storytelling contributes to versions of mothering in which women and children flourish, foregrounding activist hopes for research about families. Reflexive storytelling approaches challenge those concerned with making a difference through research and policy formation, through individual practices and everyday conversation. iii Acknowledgements I wish to begin by thanking my supervisory team, whose support and grace has meant much to my work. To my friend, mentor and chief supervisor Maria Humphries, whose wisdom and generous encouragement has done so much to help me develop as a scholar and woman, thank you. I also wish to thank Suzanne Grant, a scholar who is a worthy role model for many like myself. May the valuable work you each do, continue unabated. To Mum and Dad, thank you for encouraging me to do whatever I want – look, I have – and assuring me that I could succeed in what I chose. Mum, so much of me is a bit of your legacy in action – stitching, gardening, cups of tea, breaking into song; this study has a special dedication to you as the mother who began my inquiry. To my Lord and my God, and to my ancestors and others who met me in this research and who form “such a great cloud of witnesses” of my writing and life – thank you; I hope to make you proud. I wish to thank the many dear and wonderful friends whose love, insight, wisdom, generosity, wit and laughter (not to mention coffee, wine and chocolate) are a tremendous blessing – Kahu, Julia, Anna, Maria, Clare, Sheeba, and Grandma Trish. In particular, my sister Rain – you are a true leader and mentor and I am lucky because of you. To my darling daughters Holly, Hannah, and Azaria – you make me so much of who I am. Thank you for your unerring faithfulness and love, for keeping me on my toes, and for future-proofing mothering for the world. This work came about because of you. You are my most generous and rigorous critical inspiration ever, and I wish you, and other ‘fearless, creative, young troublemakers’ of your generation, every blessing I have had because of it, and more blessings besides. iv To John – how can I ever sum up our journey in a sentence? To walk it with you is one of life’s triumphs. Thank you for your support. I love you. (Three sentences) To the many women, past and present, and all over the world, whose lives deserve better, more, and fabulous, and whose journeys inspire me to care, hope and cry, especially the mothers who shared their stories with me in this research - thank you. May your life be nourished and fabulous in return. To my colleagues and friends at the Waikato Institute of Technology, my humblest thanks for your grace, space, support, generosity and patience. Finally, I would like to acknowledge the music of Chopin, Kari Jobe, and Public Service Broadcasting, and the presence of many cats; in particular, Molly, Baz, Mikey, Muppet, Moriarty and Puku, whose lounging on keyboards and papers or sitting in front of computer screens is both comforting and exasperating to writers everywhere. “Learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow's cause” (Isaiah 1:17) v Table of Contents Abstract ......................................................................................................................... ii Acknowledgements ...................................................................................................... iv Table of Contents ......................................................................................................... vi Chapter One .................................................................................................................. 1 Introduction ................................................................................................................... 1 Prologue .................................................................................................................... 1 Opening statements ................................................................................................... 2 Mothering as institution. ........................................................................................... 5 Mothering in narration .............................................................................................. 6 Purpose of this research ............................................................................................ 9 Mothering and social construction .......................................................................... 10 Mothering in critique and conversation .................................................................. 12 Critique and contradiction ....................................................................................... 13 Motherhood and myself .......................................................................................... 15 Overview of chapters .............................................................................................. 16 Researcher positioning ........................................................................................ 16 Methodological orientations ............................................................................... 17 Grand narratives of wellbeing ............................................................................. 19 Grand narratives of family .................................................................................. 20 Wellbeing in motherled households .................................................................... 22 Living stories in