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The George-Anne Student Media
4-1-2002
The George-Anne
Georgia Southern University
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This newspaper is brought to you for free and open access by the Student Media at Digital Commons@Georgia Southern. It has been accepted for inclusion in The George-Anne by an authorized administrator of Digital Commons@Georgia Southern. For more information, please contact [email protected]. stabUshed 1927 The Official S if Georgia Southern University
WE CHANGED OUR NAME BECAUSE YOU CAN'T GET IT RIGHT!
Monday A&E: Britney Spears to become a Lakers Girl volume 69, NO. 69 April 1,2002 Page 9 www.stp.gasou.edu ON THE INSIDE: Improper English Geo Storm wreaks havoc Competition TAKEN BY STORM: on CommArts Building comin' to GSU ByNjohYdrah By Nitsuj Nosnhoj donedidit @ hotmail.com Idri veaGeo @ hotmail.com This Thursday, students will In the dead of night, it was gone. have the chance to prove they are Around 11:30 p.m. yesterday, a "more gooder" than the competi- Covering the campus like a Geo Storm pulled up to the tion and should be crowned "most swarm of gnats Communication Arts Building, bestest" when it comes to speak- police say. ing improper English. Reports state that two people, a Jhday's Weather The first ever Improper English man and a woman, pulled up to the Competition will begin at 5 p.m. at building. At that time they drilled We don't really the Performing Arts Center in the two holes into the side of the portable know. It might be Nessmith-Lane Continuing Edu- building. After sliding the rope rainy. It might be cation Building. through each hole and into an official sunny. Do yourself Participating students will be Boy Scout's knot, they then tied the a favor and look involved in areas of competition other end of the rope to their car. outside. including creative sentence struc- The couple laughed hysterically ture, widest vocabulary in im- for a few moments, then hopped in proper English, Wd a special bo- the car. On the first try, the car nus round called Xhiess that there successfully dragged the Comm. Arts Down here at GSU thing!" There will be winners and Building into the parking lot. • Alcoholics Anonymous runners-up for each competition. The car then drove out of the becomes a required core At the completion of all events, an parking lot, taking a right to avoid curriculum class. overall Most Bestest AwanNdii' : the police station, and drove the • Rabid squirrels invade the GSU ner will be selected. Comm. Arts Building around campus, causing students to pack "I reckon it oughtta be pretty Sweetheart Circle. the Health Center. fun for me and just about everyone "I saw them driving around with else," said John Hardy, a senior that trailer on the back, but I didn't C Page 2 planning to participate. think anything of it," Statesboro "Prolly gone be 'joyable for native Billy Joe Smith said. "Hell, NnOpininm me. I'd shouldn't never miss any- this here is damn South Georgia. standing water already in the build- thing like this." • We don't have opinions today. That kind of stuff happens round ing, gasoline was then poured onto All other interested students We honestly just couldn't think here all the time." the building and ignited. The trailer should stop by the center to regis- of anything to write about. Sorry, Further reports state that the Geo reportedly burned to the ground in ter for the competition by Tues- really we are. *cough, not, Storm then turned left onto Hwy 301, about three minutes. day. The registration table will be cough* took a left onto the 301 Bypass, "It was a short few minutes," Jenni marked by the "Register: If'n you $100 if you Ginepri said, a public relations major can find it another left onto Lanier Dr., then finally pulled into Paulson Stadium. who reportedly lit the first match. want to" sign. Several surprised guest speak- At that time the Geo Storm pulled the "However, it was great to see it burn. ers are expected to conduct the trailer onto the football field and It was like a big piece of cardboard event. Rumored participants are parked it on the 50-yard-line. sizzling to the ground. I saved one of Eeafines^ Police reports say that at this time the trailer's wheels as a souvenir. All Don "Fantabulous" King and Dan almost all Comm. Arts majors I could think when I watched it burned "Potatoe" Quayle. A lecture series • A reunion for the 'Full House' from the two is also expected to cast members will be held at the showed up at the football stadium. was 'Wow, tomorrow I won't have The Comm. Arts majors reportedly to worry about falling through the follow. Russell Union, right here on the Admission to watch the contest GSU campus. shattered holes into the walls by floor as I walk to class.' I feel safe throwing tennis balls at it and also now. I feel really safe. It's amazing." will be free for all GSU students with their student ID card or dona- thumped holes into the building with As police arrived on the scene , Nosilla TtenneB/STAFF tion of a book. their hands. NATURAL DISASTER: A disastrous (Geo) storm tore through the Due to the amount of leaking and See Geo Storm, Page 2 Comm Arts Building yesterday, and classes are now canceled indefinitely. Study finds monkey business, poo flinging GSU girls have officially gone wild By Tam Remlap Fudge won the contest, which causing campus traffic constipation [email protected] angered Lanier. Two GSU students were arrested According to police reports, Friday night for public indecency Lanier snatched prosthetic boobs after a wet tee shirt--concert at the from Fudge's shirt exposing her bare POB Lounge, a local Brooklet bar. chest after Fudge was announced the Leslee Fudge and Jessica Lanier, winner. I Page 9 both 20, were contestants in a wet T- "She had falsies! Who wins a wet shirt contest sponsored by VARCO, tee shirt contest with falsies," Lanier a Fortune 500 Company. asked angrily. "Girls Gone Wild," a popular Fudge admitted that she padded Arts group who produces videos of naked her chest but only "for the benefit of co-eds across the country was in &Entertainment Brooklet filming for their latest re- lease. See Nude Chicks, Page 8 • Britney Spears has recently broken up with Justin Timberlake arid now she plans to abondon SGA candidates exposed for her 'stupid pop career' to become a Lakers Girl. holding keg parties to gain votes By Anahs Segdirb his apartment in Stadium Walk. Y tt ihs Anahs @ yahoo.com "These are grave charges, and we In the wake of the SGA elections, will handle them appropriately," says recently undisclosed information has Dr. Linda Bleicken, VP of Student been obtained exposing Affairs and Enrollment. unconventional campaign practices These candidates, whose names among candidates. will remain anonymous until further Although GSU administrators are notice, are also accused of Tenretni Otohp limiting the amount of information encouraging their fellow students to HOLY MONKEY CRAP: Dung-slinging primates have invaded the GSU campus, effectively halting traffic. that is disclosed to the public, officials vote for them through certain sexual say that certain candidates held keg persuasive tactics. Four different girls By Mada Ydarb the Ogeechee Fair. The slinging of turn them to captivity, they have met parties in order to gain students' have come forth with stories of [email protected] poo has delayed traffic to a snail's with disappointment and a rain of votes. One particular candidate is incidents that occurred prior to the Current studies have shown that it pace on some parts of campus, where fecal matter during each failed at- accused of offering large amounts of is a rampant band of poo-flinging motorists have tried in vain to avoid tempt. beer and Jell-0 shots to students from See SGA Keggers, Page 2 monkeys that have caused the traffic the primates as they run in the road "They're just too quick and agile I Page 9 problems occur- for us to ring all over cam- rrrr^^^^^r^ catch. Not to Board of Regents tells all pus in the past "THEY'RE JUST TOO QUICK AND AGILE FOR US mention the Statesboring year. enormous Georgia students to 'Take it offi' "We weren't TO CATCH. NOT TO MENTION THE ENORMOUS amount of By Anash Segdirb GSU, lobbied for their student's [email protected] AlXYO quite sure what crap they've right to bear all in class. exactly was caus- AMOUNT OF CRAP THEY'VE THROWN AT US." thrown at us," No shirt. No shoes. Whatever The Board agreed, saying that K VIION ing the problem," said one floats your boat. the nude students would be able to • President Grube will host a - ANONYMOUS STATESBORO POUCE OFFICER said Professor , Statesboro In a surprisingly progressive spend more of their time focusing keg-party at his humble Colquitt of East Police Of- move, the Georgia Board of Re- on academia, instead of hassling Statesboro abode on Satur- Georgia College. "It wasn't until a screaming obscenities in their own ficer as he wiped the excrement from gents recently announced its deci- with the daily chore of picking out day night. big hunk of dung struck the wind- language. Students are finding it even his uniform. sion to allow students to attend their clothes. LAKESLIME CAFE shield of our research vehicle that we harder to locate parking spaces due Freshman Interior Design major college classes in the nude. "This way, students will not • Today's menu will were all certain of the cause." to the piles of discarded fecal matter April Epps was assaulted by the ram- This decision came after much worry about being 'in style.' The feature Mystery Meat, According to local scientists, the spread throughout the parking lots. paging simians. "They surrounded heat from universities all over the style is to be nude, and the naked and free refills on iced monkeys have been running amuck Though local authorities have state to move toward a more liberal water from Lakeslime. since last fall after they escaped from tried to capture the animals and re- . . See Poo Flinging, Page 8 education. Institutions, including See We're Nude, Page 8 Page 2 — Friday, April 1, 2002 Police Beat ONLY AT GSU Statesboro Police Department noise violation with shoes, listening • Brooke "No, I'm not mad, Russell This Weekend excessively to folk music, improper Brady" Minter, of East Bumble out O Union • Allison "Don't talk very much" turn signals to the nursing home, by Country Club Lane, was arrested Bennett, 22, of Labeer Dr., was ar- usage of a fake ID in Tennessee and for getting engaged and getting mar- AA now a rested for holding up Regency Pho- 87 counts of public urination. ried in a castle, failure to maintane tography with a camera. She shot lane on a one way street, stealing required them over and over. (We are cur- • Adam "I need to get some" food from Arby's, domestic abuse to course rently looking for a new place to take Brady, 16, of Jewish Lane, was ar- her fiancee and stalking. C our photos.) She was also arrested rested for overusing body parts, tack- The Faculty for harassing photographers and pub- ling too many tasks at once, selling • Jenni "Juuuusssttttiinnn!!!" Senate voted on lic display indensency. his body and distribution of illegal Ginepri, 21, of Statesboro Grace, was Monday to start substances. arrested for credit card fraud, inde- offering an Alco- • Melissa "Are you an athlete?" cent exposure, fleeing the scene of holics Anyomus Connors, 17, of former Southern • Amanda "Well that's some sh*t" an accident, robbery of a liquor store, class as part of Courtyard, was arrested for breaking Permenter, 49, of Slackfort Hill, was screaming editors' names in inau- the core in the football locker room while arrested for fratinizing with employ- dible voices, contributing to the deaf- curriculm on smoking, trying to date football play- ees, forgery, stealing street signs, ness of editors and being known at campus. , The ers number 1-99, baseball players, 1- drinking a 64 ounce beer, flashing Retriever's by first name only. large number of 99, and the whole rugby teamthe and contributing to minors. --All Police Beat information is DUIs and under istiW^V. j using to much G-A news service and compiled by Megan Mulcahy, no age possesion stealing food. Probably tomorrow longer staff writer.She was arrested. found in the Police Beat Rumor has it that the Biology De- • Justin "What time is it? You're Ironic, isn't it? prompted the senate to bring ^P Health Center partment was doing an experiment Today Late" Johnson, 22, of 911 Southern Editor's Note: Police Beat forth this idea. that got out of hand. When asked, Dr. • Katie "Swan" Glorieux, 29, of Boroing Ave., was arrested for sleep- appears at randomly in the " Because of the large amout Rabid squirrels found Madd decined to comment, i Ghetto Club, was arrested for driv- ing on the job, mood swings, talking George-Anne in an effort to inform of alochol consuption on this mummbling something under his ing without proper ID, failure to yield like a cartoon, stripping in the middle on campus the nerds of the amount and nature campus, the senate thought that breath that this would of never hap- at the turtles, failure to maintain lane, of Lakeside, shopping at Goodwill, of crime. All reports are pubic it would be wise to make it a In the past week, the Health Center pened if they would of gotten the noise violation and killing wildlife. attempting to sleep with a teacher to information and can be obtained at mandatory course," said Senator has been slammed with students com- funds he requested. boost grades and illegal transporta- either the GSU Division of Pubic Williams. ing in complaining of high fever, pain- The Physical Plant is working over • Tim "Justin did it" Prizer, 20, of tion of exotic animals. Safety or the Statesboro Popo Starting with Fall 2002, all in ful diahirra, and foaming at the mouth. time to capture all of the squirrels on Crappy Courtyard, was arrested for Compartment. coming freshmen will be required When questioned the one thing that campus. If you see a squirrel attack- to take this couse as part of their they all had in common, they were all ing another student, just hit it with a core curriculm. The course would bitten by squirrels. stick. That will stun it for long enough cover the effects alcohol has on "I was walking to the Comm. Arts for you to get away. On Campus News the body. Also, as part of their building when, out of no where, a All students that have been bitten probation, students that have squirrel dived out of a tree and bit me! by a squirrel in the last week and a HEALTH CENTER by not showing up. tuition. been arrested for DUIs would be Before I could hit it with a stick, it ran half should immeadately go to the The Health Center will be giving For more information about this requied to speak at these classes. off. " exclaimed John Smith. Health Center to get the required shots. away free home pregnancy tests. All INFO SESSIONS event contact Melissa at 688-0000. students are encouraged to drop by The George-Anne is holding a GEO STORM, FROM PAGE 1 SPORT LEGENDS RETURN and see what their future will hold. seminar on "What not to do at a the crowd scattered in all directions. journalism major. Building to the middle of the football Counseling will be available on sight newspaper" led by editor Justin Starting Tuesday, the sports man- Amazingly enough, all participants at Other students who are outraged at field and burnt it to the ground. Those for those individuals who may need Johnson. Students will be invited to agement club will be giving away the "Comm. Arts burning" escaped. the administration's decision to expel kids made us do this," he said. it. attend for $10 per session. free sports attire worn by local sports Around4:30a.m.thismorning,GSU Liberal Aits and Social Sciences are On a lighter note, not all are dis- Other sessions include "Editing, legends. Some of these people include administratoi-swerenotifiedoftheevent. now speaking out. pleased with the recent events that have FREE FOOD AT LAKESIDE Jenni Ginepri and Justin Johnson. At 6 a.m. they held an emergency meet- "Yeah, I was at the Comm. Arts takenplace.Manypro- Cleanliness in an office and How to > » Lakeside will be giving free food get it on with a coworker." Such items include goggles, swim ing to discuss the ^_^__^^ ^^_—— fessors are excited for students who wear red t-shirts in For more information please call caps, tights, swim suits, towels, sammy, proper actions in about the change of af- "I UNDERSTAND DR. GRUBE IS DOING honor of UGA. They are trying to 489-4747. brushes and of course, old razors. which to take con- fairs. make the atmosphere as though stu- Starting at 7 p.m., the public and cerning this highly "I'm pretty happy PJDAY WHAT HE FEELS IS BEST, BUT WE [COMM. dents are on the Bulldog campus. students are encouraged to watch as sensitive matter. with this new trailer, I A special menu will be provided Coming this Thursday, students Jenni out swims Justin because he "GSU has ARTS MAJORS] FELT THAT THE ONLY WAY mean building," said started wearing his clothes when he never really had a professor John Croft. in honor of this day. Go Dawgs! are invited to participate in wearing TO GET A NEW BUILDING, AN ACTUAL their PJ's to class day. All students swims. situation like this to "It doesn't leak, it take place before; 11 SGA MEETING who do this will receive $5 towards BUILDING, WAS TO DESTROY THIS ONE. doesn't shake when SGA is holding a meeting tonight their Eagle Express. weweren'texactly you walk down the hall -All Campus News but no one cares except Mat Palmer Hollis is holding a PJ contest to sure what to do." and actually, it looks information is compiled by Jenni - BOB RILEY, JOURNALISM MAJOR who is only in it for the money. the student who reveals the most. GSU President exactly like the old Ginepri, assistant news editor Please help support Palmer's story The winner will get one free year of Grube said. ^^^^^^~ ^^~^^~ Comm. Aits Building. "We have replaced the Comm. Arts burning, but it wasn't like we weren't It's like nothing ever happened." Building with one we fortunately found doing the trailer a favor," said Allison "They replaced every book I ever OFFICAL NAME CHANGE! GSU to become USG at a local establishment. The administra- Bennett, a journalism major. "I went to had, hell, they even stuck gum under ByNohjYdrah ficials agreed with him that this was one for the overall cost of the change, but it is tion has decided after much debate that the bathroom the other day and after I morebsthanyoucancountaol.com desks to give it that extra 'this never took of those times with the current growth of expected to be in the million-dollarrange. this is a horrendous act and that firm flushed the toilet, it fell through the floor. place' effect. I'm impressed with how Georgia Southern University will the university. In arecent Awareness Poll conducted measures shall be taken since we do not In a way, we were recycling it. The GSU officials have handled this," he soon receive its seventh official name in The initials GSU have been used for on campus, statistics show that most of know the specific names of the guilty trailer needed to rest in peace. We just added. the institution's history when it be- both Georgia Southern and Georgia State the 100 students polled were unaware party. Therefore, effective at the end of helped it do that and there's nothing Liberal Arts and Social Sciences comes the University of Southern Geor- University. There have been recent ef- that the discussion and decision over the this semester, all communication art wrong it." professors will be given a full-paid vaca- gia. forts to refer to the institution in Statesboro change had even occurred. Of those stu- classes will no longer be available to Outside the Administration Build- tion until GSU gets a few Comm. Arts TheUniversitySystemofGeorgia's in an abbreviated form as Georgia South- dents who were made aware of the final students. At this time, students whose ing hundreds of students gathered at 9 majors again. Board of Regents approved the contro- em instead of GSU in order to eliminate result, only 54 percent were completely records indicate a Liberal Arts and So- a.m. to protest the recent administrative "After this semester, it's easy street versial decision last week in a 9-7 vote. confusion between the two. However, in favor of the change, 27 percent were cial Sciences major will be expelled announcement. Bennett proudly dis- for me for a while," Croft said. Theheateddebateoverthenamechange the idea has not been as effective as against the decision, and the remaining from school," Grube said. played her self-made t-shirt that reads "I "F11 just sit here and play solitaire on has been conducted discretely from hoped, as GSU still remains prominent 19 said they were unsure. ThereplacementfortheComm.Arts burnt it, but don't bum me." the computer. I might even go watch the others not directly in volved to make the for both universities. One angry student, a senior commu- Building was found on Hwy. 301 at Other protestors wore shirts that bore business majors put on 'Twelfth Night.' process easier. Vice President for Business and Fi- nication arts major speaking anony- 'Trailers That Sorta Work Which You quotes like' 'It was fun,"' 'All we did was I think that would be very interesting," The name change, scheduled to take nance Ron Core says that the change will mously voiced his opposition. "I don't Can Call Buildings." The sale of the take out the trash," and "Grube, I'd do it he laughed. effect at the start of the Fal 12002 semes- come at a huge cost to Georgia Southern. think the change to USG is exactly evil," building was reportedly negotiated for again. You can help this time." ter, was originally brought to the Board "The changing of the institution's name, he said. "But I'm not going to be happy over an hour, bringing the final closing Grube also stated that the campus GEQRGE-ANNE by GSU President Bruce Grube and his regardless of justification, will call for a in the future when I talk about graduation sale to $4.30. need not worry about the loss of the cabinet. massive overhaul of current logos and from Georgia Southern University, 'Trailers That Sorta Work Which Liberal Arts and Social Sciences depart- "We feel that that the university is other items that showcase the Georgia people will think I don't even know the You Can Call Buildings' saved us more ment. Mr. Bill "The Thrill" Neville beginning a new chapter in its wonder- Southern name," he said. "There is no correct name of the school where I got than you can know," Grube said. "I'm sure that we can get the busi- P.O. Box 69 ful history,'' said Grube.' The new name way to immediately know if the benefits my diploma." "The administration and I are so glad ness majors to put on a play or have the Statesboring,GA90210 * will provide an identity that is as unique of the change will match the cost to the There will be an open forum Friday at we found such a deal right here in the biology majors host a TV show," Grube as the university itself. Since it's found- university for such a process." Core also 2 p.m. in the Russell Union to discuss the Statesboro area. That's why the rela- said. How to not reach us ing, this institution has undergone a said the university will lose money on future and effects of the change to USG. tionship between GSU and the "The best thing to do is keep calm. ADVERTISING: name change each time it progressed current items and will add to the costs of Students are welcome to listen to the Statesboro community is so great. We Sure, the students will be missed, but we 555-6969 into a new era of excellence in higher developing new ones. speakers and ask any questions they work together to put the money back are in the process of bringing in a whole STORY OR PHOTOS: !| ' education." Grube added that other of- No exact estimate has yet been given might have. into our community," he said. new freshman class. I'm sure that some 555-6969 SGA KEGGERS, FROM PAGE 1 Some students agreed that Grube is of them will be Comm. Arts majors. The FAX NUMBER: 555-6969 elections. such appalling accusations. punishment will be swift and severe if doing what he and the administration thing is, we're not getting rid of them E-MAIL TO: An investigation into these charges "These accusations will not be taken they are found guilty," said Dr. Randy feels is best. forever. We are only getting rid of the is pending, but the accusations pose lightly. It was very discouraging to learn Gunter, Associate VP of Student Af- "I understand Dr. Grube is doing ones that are here now. We figured that [email protected] strong repercussions if proven true. The that students who are supposed to be fairs. what he feels is best, but we [Comm. we could get rid of the department for- Editorial Board Georgia Southern Judicial Board plans Arts majors] felt that the only way to get ever, but thought it would be a bad idea. representatives of the university would More information on the candidates Justin SonJohn to meet soon to discuss the charges and a new building, an actual building, was After all, we aren't the bad guys. We commit such acts of desperation. The and impending investigation will be In-Chief-Editor to make a decision about the validity of students will be tried fairly, but the to destroy this one," said Bob Riley, a aren'ttheonesthatdrugtlieComm. Aits given as it surfaces. Idon'twantyoutowriteme @gasou.edu
Spice Girls decide to give their music career another go Mit Rizerp ! By Wim Katers A Naging Editor ! spicegirlfan@aoLcon] Since their target audience is the early After they produce their first album one more go. video is in a children's park, and they all [email protected] Because of their previous popularity, teens, The Spice Girls plan on writing songs this year, The Spice Girls plan to go on Sporty Spice says, '1 am the coolest of take turns sliding down a yellow slide. Awomanda Peminto I The Spice Girls have decided that they are thatretlectwhat l2-16yearoldsgothrough. tour. Virgin Records feel that they need the Girls, but i guess that I can deal with 'This video was so much fun to That's Some S**T Editor I going to reunite to produce four more Lollypops, the publicity after being out of the sharing the spotlight. I don't like all of the make." saysBaby Spice, "All I wanted to ! albums. keyboarding, and getting learner"s loop for so long. Some of the major pretty girly stuff, but do was just slide down the slide, and that [email protected] It is a mediocre desire of The Virgin Records sees the opportunities licenses are just a few topics that they plan cities that they plan on touring in are puking on their shoes helps me work is just what we got to do." George-Anne to print the news of I that await The Spice Girls, and are glad to to cover. MiUedgevle,GA;BetfeAL;Clewistoa through the stress." But she says that if it The title of their new album is going Georgia Southern University as ' see them back together. The Spice Girls Baby Spice says, "I like totally FL; and Church, IA. The Spice gets too girly like last time, she is going to tobe"WeAreAllJustBimbos"andthey correct as possible. However, we I have signed back on with understand their [kids] hard times. I was in Gills feel that these major cities will leave. plan to debut their upcoming album in know we do so don't worry your Virgin in a ten year contract, and they their shoes just afew years ago. I like totally really kick off their tour. The Spice Girls are working on August 2002. pretty little head about it. Have a super, wow Jenni-like day. plan to produce four more albums in that just want to help them, in like their rough Sporty Spice feels like the group is production of a music video. They feel that This will be agreat CD, so make sure time period The Girls say that. "Writing years." Baby Spice identifies with her still too girly for her taste, and is not too their number one hit on the album will be "1 that you check it out. Liked By Everyone, Cussed By No One... four more albums will be a audience, and that is a major asset to the sure about bringing the group back Want To Slide Down The We arc all happy to see the Spice Read By everyone and that's challenge, but we are ready for it." Spice Girl's feme. together.Butshehasdecidedtogiveitjust Yellow Slide." Tire location for this Girlsbackonthernap.Showyoursupport. that. Established 1927 The Official Student Newspaper of Georgia Southern University
Monday Features: It doesn't get much worse than ABC's 'The Bachelor' Volume 74, No. 72 April 1,2002 Page 4 www.stp.gasou.edu SGA will not fund any organizations Afghan leader surveys extensive for the remainder of the year By Mathew R. Palmer committee's recommendations [email protected] utilized the full remaining amount. If your organization has not Despite the FAC having worked damage from recent earthquake received special funding from the until 11p.m. Monday night, the. Student Government Association this committee was divided and often KRT Campus year, it will not. times not on the same page. At several The remainder of the more than points during the two-hour meeting, NAHRIN, Afghanistan - It was $54,000 allocated for special funding committee members contradicted just after dinnertime when the earth was dispersed Wednesday night after each other as well as several having began to shake furiously, sending the the Financial Advisory Committee to stand to clarify another's statement. walls of Sher Mohammad's mud- (FAC) brought their One item that presented walled home crashing on top of his ■ recommendations to the Senate. controversy was the method in which family and him. Originally, the FAC had eight the FAC decided upon their Under the rubble he could hear requests from separate organizations recommendations. Initially, the frightened voices of his three but two were dropped due to committee members stated that, daughters and his mother. One by "technicalities". requests were considered on a case- one, their voices faded away, and by Only $5,668.94 remained at the by-case basis. However, Vice the time Mohammad was pulled to beginning of the meeting. The FAC President of Finance Ginger Fauscett safety by neighbors - after 15 minutes recommended $4,630 in requests. that seemed like eternity - he knew However, amendments to the See Funding, Page 6 the horrible truth. The four were among an estimated 800 who were killed in their homes Saxton defends SGA's salaries Monday night by a 6.1-magnitude By Adrien Hopkins know that I was going to get paid," earthquake that injured thousands and [email protected] said Saxton. "If someone is just:' left an estimated 20,000 homeless in GSU SGA President Bryan running for the money, it's not worth a remote and frigid region of the Saxton believes he works hard for it." Hindu Kush mountains, 100 miles his money. Although Saxton did not know north of Kabul. Saxton, along with other about the pay, he thinks that paying On Wednesday, a massive executive members of the association members of the SGA is a good thing. international-relief effort fighting are paid to serve the student body. He believes toat the members of the punishing logistics kicked into gear, Saxton earns a yearly stipend of SGA should be paid so they won't, and Hamid Karzai, leader of $3893.40 which converts tol8 have to worry about having another, Afghanistan's fledgling government, biweekly payments of $216.30. The job that will take up their time. came to offer tangible aid, spiritual executive vice presidents of finance, According to Saxton, SGA hope and a sympathetic ear to those, auxiliary and academics earn a yearly responsibilities take up a lot of his* like Mohammad, with terrible stories stipend of $2920.05 and the executive time. to tell. assistant publicity coordinator earns "I work anywhere from 40-70' "I was crying all night until the $1946.70. ■ hours per week, depending on what; morning," said the shopkeeper, a However, Saxton did not want to is going on that week. Which if you. white bandage wrapped around his be a member of SGA for the pay. neck where a door had struck him. "When I ran for SGA, I did not See Salaries, Page 4 His daughters - ages 13,8 and 5 - and his 65-year-old mother had been wrapped in white cotton shrouds and Panel discusses the effects of buried immediately, in Muslim tradition, so he spent the day digging Americanism on nation's women through the remains of his house. The earthquake and its aftermath present the first serious test for Karzai and*his administration as they struggle to unite a nation fractured by decades of anarchy, tribal bloodshed, regional rivalry and ethnic strife. The visit was designed to KRT Campus demonstrate his power to summon AFGHANI EARTHQUAKE: At least 1,800 people are dead in Afghanistan after a relentless earthquake international resources to help them. wrecked thousands of homes. As U.S. Army helicopters "You will receive all the help visit. because we're afraid" more dropped off tents and food, and you need," he said, noting that His gesture of caring was buildings will collapse, said one 9- trucks loaded with relief supplies government officials from Russia, welcomed nonetheless. year-old boy. "But at night it's very rolled through the dusty Iran, Pakistan and Saudi Arabia "He was supposed to go to cold." devastation, Karzai visited some of already had offered assistance. Turkey, but he passed on his trip Mud-walled homes have the worst-hit villages scattered "And if you need something just to see our conditions, to see our crumbled like sand castles. All that across Baghlin province, his additional just tell me, and I will destroyed houses," said Dr. is left are moun.ds of rubble helicopter circling slowly over a tell the world. Habibullah, who like many Afghans peppered with wooden beams and jumble of broken clay buildings "Your problem is our problem, uses only one name. "I admire this." mangled doors sticking out like where a bustling central market the whole country's problem," Helping the people of Nahrin crooked gravestones. Fissures left once stood. Karzai, an ethnic Pashtun, said to will be no easy task. by the quake scar the earth. Dozens "We have suffered throughout the turban-draped Tajik men, some While United Nations officials of fresh graves dot the green hills, our history with lots of problems, of who freely admitted they put the death toll at 800, Karzai where purple flowers are starting one day from war, the other from supported the Taliban. said more than 1,800 people might to blossom. natural disaster," Karzai said to Sporadic aftershocks shook the be dead. Reliable figures may not "I do not have any money to about 500 villagers who had region throughout the day, keeping come for days, as relief workers are rebuild my home," said Gul Afoz, camped for hours in an open field many villagers out on the streets. A still trying to reach remote villages 70, who has lived here since she was to see him. "But God has given brief tremble collapsed a clay wall among more than 40 that are within 10. She now sleeps in her yard, along Chris Walker/STAFF patience and honor to the people of just feet from Karzai, who was 12 square miles of Nahrin. with eight relatives, keeping warm FOREIGN POLICY AND WOMEN: Dr. Lori Amy helps explain the Afghanistan." uninjured but quickly ended his "We are all sleeping outside, with dusty blankets and body warmth. effects of US foreign policy on American women. By Angela Jones the people we've identified as Taliban [email protected] fighters, we'veextendedtherightscovered Coast Guard transfers lybee lighthouse "What are the negative effects that by the Geneva Convention, but denied U.S. foreign policy can have on other those same rights to those we designated countries, and who is paying the price of as members of Al-Quaida." to preservationists over city objections the rhetoric of the U.S. led War on One negative effect of the language Terrorism?" the U.S. is'using in the War on favor," said Dan Smith, National beacons from Maine to Michigan Associated Press Dr. Lori Amy, professor of the Terrorism, Dr. Amy says, is that the TYBEE ISLAND - When the Park Service special assistant to chosen to be the first to go Department of Writing and Linguistics, American people tend to identify certain Tybee Island Historical Society the director. through the process. asked this question as she began her groups as good and evil. We, the U.S. applied last fall to take over The Coast Guard has owned When the Interior Department discussion entitled When Americanism are the "good guys", and they are the ownership of the island's the lighthouse since 1939, but sought letters of interest last fall Hurts Women, which was held in Russell "bad guys." historic lighthouse from the for the past 15 years has leased from groups wanting ownership Union room 2080 on Tuesday at.7:30 "Fatima lives in Tehran, and teaches Coast Guard, the City Council it jointly to the city and the Tybee of the Tybee Lighthouse, the p.m. English as a second language, Azza is was all for it. Island Historical Society. historical society - with the "I decided to do this talk because I am a Palestinian woman whose family But new members of the City The historical, society City Council's support - was a committed activist," she said. "I home is currently being used as a school Council are now saying the city, operates the light and adjoining the only group to respond. passionately believe in the love and the for Israeli children, and Seher lives in not the historical society, should museum and has raised most of Now there's a new elected conscience of both my students and the Turkey. She's waiting for her husband, own the 120-year-old the money to restore the body on Tybee. Councilman American people." a doctor working in a refugee camp in lighthouse. structure. Jimmy Burke drew up a proposal According to Dr. Amy, 90 percent of Pakistan, to come home," Dr. Amy The transfer is scheduled for Since the Coast Guard can't earlier this month to rescind the the casualties of war are civilians, not said. summer, however, and the city's afford to maintain the hundreds previous council's backing of the soldiers, and more children are killed than "These are the kinds of people being efforts to reverse the deal will of historic lighthouses it owns transfer and instead is seeking soldiers, despite the Geneva Conventions hurt by the rhetoric of the war on terror. likely come to nothing, a park nationwide, it seeks to put them city ownership of the landmark. established after World War II. But these women aren't evil, we can't official said. in the hands of groups that can. Burke says he wants to protect "Getting around the Geneva afford to think of these people as evil or "I don't know what the City In 2000, Congress created the the lighthouse and the tourist Conventions is an important part of war," bad." Council could do to stop the National Lighthouse dollars it could bring. The Dr. Amy explained. "Are we doomed to be innocent historical society's application, Preservation Act to transfer historical society limits groups "For example, we are holding short of going to court, and I properties, and the Tybee touring the light to fewer than KRT Campus LIGHTHOUSE: City objects prisoners at Guantanamo Bay now. To See Americanism, Page 4 lighthouse is one of eight 20 people. don't see the court ruling in their recent lighthouse takeover. ■■^^^^■^■^■^■M
Page 4 —Monday. April 1. 2002 _ AMERICANISM, FROM PAGE 3 Utterly unengaging TV contest's prize: being on TV bystanders, just because we KRT Campus the women and children, often the search warrant or prior notification, trace of self-respect, can't get past this idea of good and main residents of these camps. and confiscate a person's private The fact that a show as unusually and line up to snag evil?" she asked. "It's important to "If I'm a woman in one of these papers, computer, etc, and detain brain-dead as "The Bachelor" has made it him. remember that these are people, camps, I'm thinking , My God, I foreign nationals indefinitely, and to the prime-time schedule of a major "Hi, I'm Alex. and they're not evil or good, they're don't have much as it is, and now you the detainees have no legal recourse. network underscores once again an I'minto romance and just civilians, people caught in the come in with your tanks and what "In most other countries, they call unshakable truism:the highest, most fitness. My favorite middle." have you, and you take away the that illegal arrest," Dr. Amy said. meaningful and most enduring snack is Balance According to a Human Rights minimal shelter I do have." "But because of the language of this compliment we can pay to anyone is to Bars." Watch report, leaders in 66 "When we talk about the effects war, it's considered a security say, "I saw you on television." What's to resist? countries, including Russia, Egypt, of the rhetoric of the war on terror, measure here." It doesn't matter what you did to get So ABC rounded Saudi Arabia, Israel, Zimbabwe and we have to be careful that we don't "I asked earlier who they ( the there. You could be throwing your jacket up 25 women to, in Malaysia are using the language of just assume that it's the people oyer terrorists) were. If we don't know overyourhead as the FBI is arrestingyou effect, audition. He'll the conflict to crack down on there who are .the only ones who they are, they could be anyone, for masterminding a child pornography meet them, chat with political opponents and those suffering," Dr. Amy pointed out. and if they can be anyone, then ring. You could be falling facedown into them, maybe, you seeking change in the nations. KRT Campus She asked if anyone knew about everyone has to be watched," she a pig trough. know, take 'em out "Women and children are the THE WORST OF THE WORST: ABC's new what the Patriot Act was, and what it explained. Doesn't matter. You were on for a test drive and at main ones who suffer, and what 'reality' show, 'The Bachelor,' is perhaps the worst allowed. When no one answered, she Due to the passage of the Patriot television. That means you are more the end of the six- these crackdowns mean for women of all similar shows. \A asked if anyone knew the,last setof Act, the Freedom of Information Act famous than anyone who is not on week series he and children is more brutality, even contestants on Survivor. has been considerably weakened, Dr. television. It means you .are more promises that if he greater repression, less food, less In October, the Patriot Act was Amy pointed out. important. It means that you have done really likes one of them, he will propose. will have seen them. They're somebody. freedoms of speech and less passed, authorizing Internet service "I had about 72 students in my more with your life than people who are Some promise, huh? If he meets the You don't even have to pay them, freedom of movement," Dr. Amy providers like MSN and AOL to class last semester, and not one of not on television. right woman, he'll ask her to marry him. • which is good news when a network is as explained. install tracking software to read a them knew what the Patriot Act "The Bachelor," for those tuning in Exactly how this makes him different desperate as ABC must be to produce a She also read from a news report person's emails, and check sites entailed, but most of them knew the late, revolves around a 31-year-old fromanyother31-year-old guy is unclear, show like "The Bachelor." Their reward that said Israeli troops were beginning visited. last contestants on Survivor," she management consultant, Alex, a product and exactly why these 25 women think is that for once in their lives, they can look to launch incursions into refugee It also allows the FBI to enter a said. "That worries me, it worries me of the same Hunk Factory that clones TV their odds are better in an ABC-TV at the television set, where all the famous camps, which again affects primarily person's home, with or without a a lot." news reporters these days. production than in real life isn't too clear, and important people get together, and ButAlexisevenbetterthanthat,ABC either. see themselves. assures us. Alex is ready to get married _ But that's the thing. It doesn't matter. Now they're famous and important, a phrase that, as we all know, causes every What matters is they're on television. too. unattached woman in America to drop Theymaynotgetaweddingring,butthey Must be. whatever she's doing, along with any willgetahighlightreeLMillions of people They're on television. MURPHY SALARIES, FROM PAGE 3 figure out just with my pay, that if travel expenses. necessary, but neither is any pay I work 40 hours per week for two "No, no extra perks," said Saxton. for something you're getting weeks, I am making about $2.70 per Pamela Thomas, a senior public student experience in, for example, hour. If you figure 70 hours per week, relations major supports Saxton, if. being the editor of a student I am making $1.55 per hour," said he is really working for the benefit of publication. We put in a lot of work, Saxton. the students. much more than we are actually Saxton's duties include attending "If he works that many hours then required to do," said Saxton. senate meetings, committee paying him is cool, if he's really Saxton also said he would like Save 30 per gallon meetings, executive board meetings, doing something," said Thomas. to pay SGA senators if they had the meetings with administrators, faculty Natalie Stewart, a senior public budget for the stipends. senate meetings and any special relations major feels the same as "SGA's pay enables a lot of us Lof regular gas with your events that he has to go to. He is also Thomas does. to be officers. I actually think that required to have 10 office hours per "Although Ididn't get paid when our senators deserve to get a stipend week, but he usually spends 20-30 in I was on SGA at East Georgia or at least a monetary award like his office depending on the week. He College, I think it's fine if he's some other places on campus have. valid GSU student I.D. also has conferences and special paid," said Stewart. The senators often times do a lot of meetings that he travels to that could Saxton believes that the stipend work and do not get recognized. If take up a whole weekend or several he receives allows him and the other our budget was a large as others on days during the week. executive members to serve the campus, we could truly reward Some of Saxton's salary must be student government better. people for their hard work. All we' Super-low cigarette prices! allotted for travel and miscellaneous "Without the stipend the have, however, is enough to keep expenses related to SGA travel members of the SGA would be the executive board from having to because he is not reimbursed for his mediocre. The money is not take on other jobs," said Saxton.
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Monday, April 1, 2002 - Page 5 ,, Football media guide cited as nation's best
:■ G-A News Service Published prior to the start Assistant Athletic Director for The 2001 Georgia Southern of each season by the athletics Media Relations. University Football Media Guide media relations department, the McClellan is in his 10th over- has been judged as the "Best in 184-page publication features all year on the Eagle athletic the Nation" according to a recent coach and player biographies, media relations staff and has di- release by the College Sports rosters, statistics, current sea- rected the department's efforts Information Director's of son previews, past season re- since 1996. Two and four America (CoSIDA). views, opponent information and The nation's top publication bedroom units The top billing among all a comprehensive records' section honor was the third earned by NCAA Division I-AA institu- chronicling Georgia Southern's Georgia Southern during the past tions serves as the six-time nationalchampion foot- two seasons. In addition to a top- secondconsecutive honor for the ball program. ranked media guide last year, Georgia Southern football me- The annual development, writ- SOAR Magazine, the dia guide and follows a third- ing and editing of the football department's game-day football place standing in 1999 and a run- media guide is headed by Tom fan program, was also cited as ERS ROW ner-up finish in 1998. McClellan, Georgia Southern's the country's best in 2000.
Eagles finish second spring workout 3 bedroom/3 bath G-A News Service Jesse (McMillan)hasbeeninourprogram receptions and all seven touchdown & 4 bedroom/4 bath Georgia Southern completed its for three years and gives us quality catches from a year ago. Owens was the second workout of the spring practice experience as well." Eagles' top big-play receiver as a junior period Wednesday, conducting the two- Sewak indicated speed would the last season, grabbing 15 balls for 502 hour session in shorts and helmets under primary element again with his current yards and three scores - an average of * sunny but cool 33.5 yards per catch. conditions at the Eagle ~~"~^^ ss Kearney, ajunior, stood Practice Complex. third on the unit with The Eagles willput 1 EXPECT OUR SLOTBACKS TO BE A VERY six catches for 159 Extra-large units & houses onpadsforthefirsttime STRONG PART OF OUR OFFENSE THIS YEAR. 99 yards and one this spring during touchdown, averaging Friday's practice and 26.5 yards a reception. 1,150 - 3,000 square feet will close out then- - MIKE SEWAK, HEAD COACH Reliable reserves PJ. initial week with a Cantrell, Eric Irby, Saturday morning Anthony Williamsand workout at the complex beginning at slotback corps, which include starters Aundra Robinson combined to make six 9:00. Myers andWaldenalong with topbackups catches in a limited role during the 2001 Despite losing two high-profile Anderson, Davis and McMillan. Myers campaign. Private patios or screened porch members of their offensive backfield in (586) and Walden (151 in six starts after "Simply said, everybody's back and four-time All-Americaperformer Adrian moving over to offense in early that's a good thing," Sewak said. "It's a Lawn maintenance included Peterson at fullback and quarterback J.R. November) combined to msh for 737 group which played a bunch of snaps for Revere, the Eagles do welcome back four yards on 68 carries last fall-an impressive us, played in some big ball games and other key starters of their triple-option average of 10.8 yards per attempt. In made some big catches. I thought Derrick Less than two miles from GSU attack- senior slotbacks Mark My ers and addition, the unit also serves as a potent Owens did a great job last year and Carl's ZzreamWalden along with wide receivers weapon in GSU's passing game, really had a great winter so far. We feel Derrick Owens and Carl Kearney. combining on 19 catches for 457 yards like we' ve got a lot of depth there too with "I expect our slotbacks to be a very and three touchdowns. Myers finished Cantrell, Ant Williams, Irby and strong part of our offense this year,'' head second on the team with 11 receptions for Robinson. In terms of newcomers, I'm coach Mike Sewak said. 201 yards while Waldenaveragedateam- lookingforwardtoseeingfreshmenLewis ' We return nearly every one who saw high 35.2 yards per catch last year (four Barr, A.J. Bryant and Kevin Anderson extensive time last season and I thought for 141). out there this spring doing some good 'Hendley Mark,ZzreamTJ.(Anderson)andKevin On the outside, Georgia Southern things for us. They all had success on the PROPERTIES, INC. (Davis) all did a good job for us. Plus, will return 47 of the squad's 52 pass scout team last year." 21 Greenbriar • Hwy. 67 South • Statesboro Bewley named to GSU coaching staff [email protected] G-A News Service also served as a sports performance He is also a member of the Michael Bewley has been named nutritionist and as an Olympic National Strength Coaches assistant strength and conditioning Strength Coach and personal trainer Association (NSCA) and the coach at Georgia Southern where he designed, implemented International Sports Sciences (912)681-1166 6oo«Ken*s University according to an and supervised strength and Association (ISSA). announcement from head strength conditioning programs for local and conditioning coach Kelly high school athletes and the general Neuhauser Wednesday. population. Bewley, 25, directly replaces Prior to his stint at UNR, Bewley Neuhauser, who was promoted to held a similar personal trainer's ARTISAN the top athletic performance position for two and a half years at ENTERTAINMENT* position January 18. the Telford (Ky.) Young Men's "I'm confident Michael will be Christian Association (YMCA) a great asset to our entire program," where he worked with area high PtedenU a said Neuhauser. "We are fortunate school athletes and members of the to have someone with his experience community. and credentials with us. He has an A three-year club sport extensive background working with performer in soccer and lacrosse at FREE ADVANCE SCREENING many different sport programs Eastern Kentucky University from which will enhance our efforts in 1994 tol996, Bewley also donated providing an inclusive strength and spare time as an assistant youth GEORGIA SOUTHERN conditioning program to all of our soccer coach at the Southwest THE TRADITION CONTINUES athletes." YMCA in Louisville, Ky. He earned UNIVERSITY Bewley most recently served as his bachelor's degree in physical @ Russell Union Theatre a graduate assistant strength and education from EKU in July, 1998 conditioning coach at the University before following with a master's 7:00 PM Wednesday of Nevada, working directly with degree in education leadership with the Wolf Pack track and field, tennis, an emphasis in sports administration April 3, 2002 soccer, golf, cross country and from Nevada in March, 2002. cheerleading programs and assisting Bewley holds professional FREE ADMISSION with the design and maintenance of certification from the United States the strength and conditioning Weightlifting Federation (USWF) while passes last* schedules for football and both and is a Sports Performance INFO?: call 486-7270 basketball teams. Nutritionist (SPN) and a Certified While in Reno from August, Strength and Conditioning * Passes available at 1998 to February, 2002, Bewley Specialist (CSCS). 2022 Russell Union. Passes required. Seating is limited and not guaranteed. Please arrive early. Presented in association with Eagle Cinema.
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Monday, April 1, 2002 — Page 6 FUNDING, FROM PAGE 3 said, "When the organizations came, from a different rate during the week to a we sat down and listened to every one of higher rate on the weekend and no them and then we discussed after that." committee member had been aware that "The statement was made Monday rates could change, Armstrong stated. night and I may not should say this but the Castanien again made a friendly statement was madeMondaynightbefore amendment to the committees we started, before we heard any recommendation toincludelodgingcosts. organization, that we had $5,668.94 and However, the committee rejected the it should be first come first served," amendment. Committee member Steve Crosby said. Senator Tobias Mathis was very vocal "So, if we felt that we need to give the first about his dismay with the committee, three of those eight organizations their standing to speak several times during the money, that's the way it should be done." meeting. "I quickly stood up and said, 'no'," "I'm sorry but isn't Castanien's own Crosby said. "And this is my reason self on the Financial Advisory • behind that: If SGA puts out applications Committee," Mathis asked. "Was that out for next year and they set the deadline not discussed before it came to the at Friday, should the person on Monday Senate?" get their application accepted before the "The recommendations we had was person who turns in on Thursday? We on Monday night," Black said. "We decided as a group, no." actually had eight of them that we were ' 'But, these organizations turned theirs planningon. We did not have the cushion in by the deadline. We need to deal with that we have now. We can make those Brand new unfurnished apartments • Monitored instrusion alarm • All-new appliances to include: these and not worry about whatever changes thatwecouldnotmakeMonday." • Private 2 bedroom/2 bath • Continuous high-speed internet frost-free refrigerator with cushion we have to deal with next week. Executive Vice President Nick • Walk-in closets access in each bedroom icemaker, dishwasher & full-size These organizations came to us first." Pearson made a formal amendment to the • Vaulted ceilings > Clubhouse with state-of-the-art washer and dryer "In this case, it is a first come, first serve. Senate, which passed, and IEEE was • Track lighting fitness center • Ample parking We need to deal with all these in their funded $1,106. • Ceiling fans 1 Business/computer lab • Convenient campus access entirety and give them all their funds - all GSUFamilyand Consumer Sciences the funds we can- not worry about who '. i • Private back patio ■ Resort-style pool • Planned resident activities camebeforetheSenatetorequest funds to may come next week or the next,'' Crosby • Designer crown molding ■ Sand volleyball court • Professional on-site management aid them in hosting the Georgia Family said. and Consumer Sciences meeting, which • Two-tone paint ■ Basketball court • Pets welcome w/ some restrictions All except one organization, which will include groups from ABAC, Fort (TASSTFTFDS PageV £00£ (I IhqA ^BbnoM 5= and marketing opportunity. GREAT RESUME |_01Af|S BOOSTER! Call Reneeat AroundCampus, Inc. 1-800-466-2221 ext 334. I NEEO TO START WORKING Crossword www.aroundcampus.com. ON W MEMORY—I 11 MOTIVATED SALES Rep with cell phone CANT REnErMiER WHY ■ ACROSS • 2 ■■ 5 e .- E 10 12 113 I company experience needed at local company I CAnE W HERE 1 Programming nearcampus. Call Allison at 682-2989. Thisjob 14 -.'.: •<■■ repetition will look good on a resume! 5 Earthly paradise 19 9 Hires actors 17 18 PARTTIME HELP Wanted Clito convenience 14 BMW competitor 20 ■1 122 ^■?3 Store 301 North. Call before 5pm 912-587-5501. 15 Strauss Ask for Rob. 1 26 16 Thus far 24 17 Edinburgh ■ resident 27 28 29 H 3D 31 150 Lost & Found 18 First murder ■ 34 35 victim 32 33 19 Experimental 36 H38 FOUND BLACK small puppy with pink black jazz pianist H' spotted tongue, red bandana around neck. Call :/ 20 Frugality 39 40 ■11 H ■VJ- Courtney at 871 -3555. Dog is female. 23 Dent starter? 24 Banjo feature • 25 Gave ten percent ■ ■lf> -.7 ■■ 4B 160 Miscellaneous for Sale 27 Permeates 30 Animals ■;-> ■ 52 53 54 55 ■j ■"■. 32 Holmes creator FOR SALE: Formal Dress, Size 10/12, but 33 Cola container b6 57 F■jb 69 easily altered. It is a pale purple/periwinkle. 489- 36 Pre-CD 1955 or [email protected]. collection 60 61 62 37 Immoral habits MOVING MUST sell Hotpoint Wshr/Dryr $300 38 O.T. book 63 64 Mongoose MGX 21spd $75 Bowflex PowerPro 39 Death duty 31 Olb. assembly extra attachments $1,000. Call 42 Fam. sports (g 2002 Tribune Media Servi 01/31/02 912-484-1150: All rights reserved. 1 centers MICROSOFT XBOX with two controllers and 44 Neither right nor five games. WWF Raw, Dead or Alive, Madden, wrong 6 Accounting entry Solutions Nascar Thunder, and Air Force Delta Storm. Call 45 Spunky 7 All tied Jeff 681-2139 $450. 46 Posters 8 Egypt's river a ti V A 3 s O d S V s l 3 48 Lady's address 9 City between ~> 3 a a 1 0 a a N y 3 1 QUEEN COMFORTER set; grn. "Mystique" as 49 Also Roma and 0 1 i 0 1 a 0 1 i V :i .1 S seen in JCP catalog; like new; $125 OBO. 764- 50 Epistolary Napoli 1 O s i SO d ■ N V 5923. afterthoughts s d 1ti ~ 10 Tempesch. ■ V V : ■■ d n N 1 d POOL TABLE for sale. 7 ft. only six months old. 56 Make off with 11 Man-made V 58 California city A 1 S 1 3 ■ V a 0 i*. B Have to move. Call 489-2456 or 481-1790 for 1 compounds V details. $300. 59 Muse of history 12 _ Haute. IN s V 0 IN A||X V 1 3 : i S 3 60 Metal roofing 13 Far from flighty V s 1 ■ ■ 3 y AJBMA d 1 312" JL W-6's in custom box for sale $500. Call material 21 At no cost 3 i 1 J 0 a d 0 d ■ i A O a 912-541-3856. 61 Graven image 22 Torn tickets ■ V N n V ■ 3 n a m 62 Rod attachment 3 _!_ _£ FORSALEDual12inch subwoofer box. 1 ft per 26 Make lace a 3 H 1 1 3 J_H 63 Maxwell and ■ ■ ti sealed chamber. Large gold screw down 27 Between jobs ' • i ti S3 N 1 d i ti H i terminals. Call my cell for quicker response 404- Schiaparelli 28 Cleaning tools ■ V N n S 1 3 SI V 0 0 s 394-9294 $20. 64 Strike a stance 29 Nonparticipants ti i i 3 A V 1 A 1 1 a n V 65 Unit of length 30 point (center S ARCADE MACHINE. Upright Arcade machine of activity) s 1 S V 0 N 3 a 3 d 0 0 i works perfectly bright screen, great sound, no DOWN 31 Topmost point 1 burn in.Call for more info. Jeff 681-2139 $175. 1 but not 33 Pocket bread least... 43 Apery 51 Lingerie item 34 Would-be atty.'s 45 Easy 52 Commotion 2 Painful exam exclamation 46 Cheap jewelry 53 Supplication 165 Mobile Homes 35 A piece of cake 47 Pentium 54 Stadium level 3 Olfactory 37 Left-hand page stimulator manufacturers 55 Marketed 40 Darya River 48 IBM feature from 57 Collection of 14X70 FLEETWOOD Mobile Home 2br/2ba 4 Pathetic 41 Overthrows 5 Makes happy 1981 anecdotes garden tub, c/h/a appliances included. Asking 42 Twelvemonth $15,000. Call owner 912-871-4292. 1998 GEN. Housing Cougar 24 x 52 Double Wide on rental lot. Near GSU and OTC, 3br/2ba' access to current and past issues. Visit c/h/a; Great condition. Owe $33,500. Will sell $24,000 OBO. Call owner (912) 764-5310. www.stp.gasou.edu. It is the goal of the 10 G-A Action Ads newspaper to have its edition placed on-line within 24 hours of publication. Breaking news will 200 Pets & Supplies be placed on-line as warranted. The George- «■ STUDENTS BEWARE Anne is distributed free of charge on the Georgia 30 Aquarium with hardwood stand, Southern University campus through delivery GALLON ATTENTION - The George-Anne screens all covered hood, light, and filter. This is a nice advertisements prior to publication. The sites located in campus buildings, at off-campus setup. Gravel included. Call Jeff 681-2139 newspaper strives to accept ads for legitimate sites, and in residence halls. $150. Readers may pick up one free copy, products and services only. Students are urged NOTICE: TRAINED NEWTS for sale. They do tricks like to exercise caution when replying to ads — and a second for a roommate or acquaintance, at jumping through a flaming hoop and riding particularly those which require a credit card distribution sites. Additional copies are 35 cents unicycles. These are no ordinary newts. $20. number, other personal information, or money in each and are available at the Williams Center. Call Post 764-4237. advance of the delivery of a product or service. However, unauthorized removal of additional Students are also urged to reportto the newspaper copies from a distribution site constitutes theft 220 Rentals & Real Estate any suspicious offers which they might see in an under Georgia law, a misdemeanor offense ad. Remember, if an offer seems too good to punishable by a fine and/or jail time. Editors will be true, it probably is. seek to have any person(s) who removes more CHEAP RENT: Sublease forsummer, big house than the authorized number of copies from close to campus; huge bedroom. $200/month FREEBIETNFO ALL FREE student and distribution sites prosecuted to the full extent of plus 1/5 utilities. Call Ally @ 489-5498 or 706- 473-1974. faculty ads to be run in the George-Anne must the law. have a NAME, P.O. BOX and PHONE NOTE: We gratefully acknowledge the theft of APARTMENTS ARE FOR FRESHMEN. STEP ■savJ i« igarf (.trie vreroo'esjj NUMBER. Ads will be rejected if they do not ourslogan- "Liked by Many, Cussed by Some, INTO A HOUSE. Brand new 4-BR/4-BA and 3- \^IX#WW»«VC<»TI IOIUW. \ Monday, April 1, 2002 - Page 8 WE'RE NUDE, FROM PAGE 1 body has no exceptions. You either are after long delegations over the repercus- or are not nude," says Board member Pat sions that were possible. Cherry. Finally, the pros outweighed the,cons, Students all over the state rallied around and the Board of Regents passed the motion the recent decision, showing support by with a majority vote. holding nudity festivals on college cam- GSU President Bruce Grube had his li puses from Valdosta to Kennesaw. How- own words of encouragement and support ever, some opposition came from the more for the students. "Those student who feel conservative students in certain state insti- uncomfortable with the idea of being nude tutions. on campus will have the option to remain "This decision is absolutely ridiculous. clothed. However, we want to stress to I think that it is veiy offensive to have to students that they shoulddo'whateverblows GSU'S Mardi Gras Week attend classes with people who are com- their skirt up,' or lack thereof." pletely naked. I think that this recent move- This historical decision puts Georgia ment to allow nudity will do more harm among the first states to allow nudity on than good," said Mary Smith, a junior from college campuses. West Georgia. The decision marks a turning point for Other students were much more in fa- college education, and state institutions Monday, April 1,2002 Tuesday, April 2,2002 -Wednesday, April 3,20 vor of the idea. "Hell, yeah!" said Jimmy upheld their support and enthusiasm of the Oxygen Bar Free! M-4 Motion Simulator Free! /UrU^^EntertatnmeifflFree Clemments, a GSU freshman. "Now, those higher educational system's push toward a 4:00 FM-lOjpOPM 4:00|>M|ijD;00 PM Advance Screening: "National girls have nothing to hide behind. It'll be completely liberal "no holds barred" cur- RecreationActivitjK^enter, Lobby Recreation ActivityjGenter, Court 1 Lampoon's VanlWilder" like a fruit buffet in every class...there'll be riculum and ideology. However, the enthu- Opens in theaters everywhere April 5, plenty of melons to choose from." The siasm is sure to be more apparent in some Board made the decision final on Friday, than in others. Eagle Entertainment Thursday, April 4,2002 2002 General Meeting Movie: Vanilla Sky Passes are required. Poo FLINGING, FROM PAGE 1 7:00PM 7:00 PM & 9:30 PM showings 7:00 PM, doors open at 6:30 PM mycarwhilelwasonrnywaytoclass (Jeor^-4nnereporters.Nostatementwas nd Please arrive early, as seating is not guaranteed and pummeled the windows with poop. I taken from the alpha male due to his time RAC Multipurpose Room, 2 floor •Russell Union Eagle Cinema and didn't know what to do." consuming involvement in the virtual Free Food! Admission: $1,00 is provided on a first-come, first-serve basis. Russell Union Eagle Cinema Sophomore Education major Aaron downpour of feces. Feldser ran over one of the monkeys as it The scientists are working win con- /*' Friday, April S, 2002 attacked his car. "I couldn't stop in time, junction with local authorities on a new "SPRING BLING" and the damned thing didn'thaveenough plan of attack. GSU'.s Mardi Gras Ultimate Event sense to move out of the way. It seemed "Obviously, running at them with a Recreation Activity Center Multipurpose Fields like all it cared about was hitting my car burlap sacks simply will not do," stated 11:00AM-7:00PM with its own droppings." Professor Colquitt in a press release this Whenteachedforcomment,themon- morning. Battle of the Bands keys screamed incoherently and threw a "We'll need golf carts to chase them Local on-stage artists good amount of poo in the direction of down in. And pns. Lots of guns." Inflatable Fun NUDE CHICKS, FROM PAGE 1 Laser Tag the audience," she said. Lanier had to be transported to East AIDS Awareness Fashion Show Apparently, Fudge pimp-slapped Georgia Medical Center where she was E-93 JAMZ Live Remote Lanier with one of her fake breasts, black- treated and released for a contusion to the ing her eye and causing minor abrasions to upper left side of her face. Live Concert "Crazy Betty" Reggae & Hip Hop National Performing Band her ear. A witness stated (hat she threw the Charges were also filed against Kevin Movie: Vanilla Sky other breast to a fan. Brooks and William Tucker, close friends 7:00 PM & 9:30 PM showings "That was cool," AdamBrady,apatron of the two girls, who attacked police when Russell Union Eagle Cinema and proud new owner of Fudge's left breast they were taking the naked girls into cus- Admission: $1.00 said. tody. "I haven't had this much excitement "I'll get you," Tucker said to the police FREE FOOD, FREE DRINKS, FREE GIVE-A-WAYS here since the pig wrestlin' contest four officer. "You gonna pay. I been wanting to FREE FUN!!! yearsago,"barownerJamesAithurJohnson see that for a while." said. "Guess we're gonna hafta bail 'em All persons were released on $1.32 girls outta jail and put 'em on staff." bail. Bring your blankets and enjoy fun in the sun! An off-duty policeman, who had just As of press time, there was no informa- tipped the girls, placed both Fudge and tion available as to when the video featur- All Events sponsored by Eagle Entertainment. For more information call 486-7270. Lanier under arrest and in handcuffs in the ing the wild GSU girls would be available back of a Ford pick-up truck. for purchase. STEAKS - SEAFOOD j. , FINE SPIBJTS ♦ UYE MUSIC ■«—■mww»l—.i. , „ j j j, i^^jy^ii*.-.™^^ ,,, IBw>^ 0**"* I" i ; MONDAY TUESDAY CRAZY BAR GAMES! $2 Long Necks Open Mic Night $2 Wells Win FR Drinks $3 PER Pitchers WEDNESDAY THURSDAY Ladies' Night After Midnight ON Y AR ANNIV RSARY PARTY!!!!!!!! $1 Vodkas THANKS TO ALL OUR PATRONS $2.50 Jim Beam ALL DRINKS $1 Penny Wines At 9:00 FRIDAY SATURDAY $2 Coronas & $2 Bourbons ntertainment - DJ $2 Vodkas ALL DAY EVERY DAY $5 Pitchers PBR and $1.50 16 oz Drafts PBR !! HAPPY HOUR !! Mon- Fri 3-6, Sat 11-6 2 For 1 Appetizers and Drinks ^■^■■■■1 Monday. April 1. 2002 — Page 9 We have a sponsor! Britney Spears to join the Laker Girls By Deni Towerhigh trying to do," Spears said. "Since I'm That is what part of the Laker tradition spearslover @ hotmail.com not a girl but not yet a woman, I feel is all about. Everybody knows that what MTV' s that I should experience other opportu- Forward Mark Madsen added, Carson Daly would say, "The Hottest nities. I believe I'm versatile." "Having Britney Spears as a LakerGirl Couple in Pop Music" Britney Spears Spears has released three albums, is like having vanilla ice cream on a hot and N'Sync's Justin Timberlake have starred in a movie, and now dancing summer day. It will be electrifying." broken up. Many fans want to know her way to the top. She will join the Probably the happiest person to see why. Some think that her "slave" ranks of Paula Abdul and Carmen her in the City of Angels is Brees. The image has gone to her head while oth- Electra as celebrities who participated two stay at his four-storied mansion in ers believe that the relationship was with the Laker Dance Team. San Diego. He has already bought nothing but "puppy love". "Britney is a role model and she Spears a new Lexus for their one week Sources from Entertainment To- will bring the flavor to L.A.," Abdul anniversary. "With a beautiful lady like night said that the reason why Spears said. "With her dancing, it will bring that and a contract fulfilling to my needs, back memories of my days back in the life is good," said Brees on Wednesday. Only the dedicated members broke up with Justin Timberlake is 1980s." The long-distance relationship will may remember this, but we'll see. because she wants to try new things The 39-year-old former artist is not not be a problem as they will be two A few weeks ago I put a column in and be close to her new boyfriend, San the only one enjoying her company. hours apart. the newspaper asking for a sponsor Diego Chargers quarterback Drew. Some of the players will be looking "I just want to thank my agent for for my bobsled team, I am happy to Brees. forward to her addition. "Being near setting giving me the connection and Internet Photo announce that last weekend we Starting the next NBA season, the Hollywood, it is important that big my choreographer for showing me the POP STAR: After a successful career in Pepsi ads and crappy music, signed a contract with a sponsor! 20-year-old artist/actress will join the name celebrities join our organization," new moves for the "Britney" album." Britney will try to remake herself once again, this time as a Lakers Girl. Yep, that's right, Kim, Lindsay, Los Angeles Laker Girl Dance Team. Laker center Shaquille O'Neal said. Spears said. Kari and I all now have a sponsor "This is one of the new things that I'm for our 2006 Olympic bobsled team. I bet you're wondering who it is... Well, we spent minutes sending out Miss USA Dethroned letters of sponsorship deals to sev- Jeff Kent:'Ok, so I wasn't By Vamp Slayer Kelly when I was of age. And nothing he eral prospects. And we sent them [email protected] did was against my will. We taped it for our pictures because we thought Following in the footsteps of Vanessa our own private collection. The tape was they'd be more likely to help out ,••• Williams, who was Miss America 1984, stolen and that was indeed an invasion of cute girls. You know... We imme- washing my truck, Shauntay Hinton, 2002's Miss USA, our privacy." diately received letters if intentfrom was ordered to return her crown to pag- In an exclusive copy to the George- two big companies; Mr. Ted Turner By Bowl Fulajelli 911 phone calls were recorded in in little league, but this is the ma- eant officials. This was because of her Anne through and all his businesses, and Mr. Cadi [email protected] the same area on the same day in- jors, and he should be way past that conduct that was quoted as being "un- "www.MissUSAsGoneWild.com," the Llac from the Cadillac Company. In what has to be the most sur- volving an unidentified biker who stage in his life." becoming of a Miss USA." video depicts Ms. Hinton wearing her That's right, Turner and Llac liked Howard University cheerleading outfit. prising end to a spring training con- fell off his motorcycle doing Shortly after his shocking an- In a video that was leaked to vari- our stuff and set us up a nice allow- wheelies. nouncement Kent said that he hoped ous websites and other media outlets, As the video continues Ms. Hinton and ance for the next several years. troversy that has gone on way too The press and the team publicly this would bring closure to a burn- it was discovered that Ms. Hinton was Mi'. Kelly are caught in compromising The sponsorship included sev- long, San Francisco Giants second criticized Kent for what they felt ing issue that has lingered through- one of the various young women that positions. These positions could be allu- eral incentives as well. In order for baseman finally came clean with the organization and with the public were obvious lies to cover up his out the spring, and said that he were caught on tape having sexual sions to football plays. At one point the us to keep our sponsorship, we had daredevil stunts, which were in di- plans to move forward. intercourse with famed R&B singer tape had Ms. Hinton as "center" and Mr. to do several outside jobs for them. and admitted Sunday afternoon that he broke his left wrist on March 1 rect violation of his contract with "I had a lot of bottled up energy and producer R. Kelly. Kelly as "quarter back." I have to publish a story about how while he was spanking his pet mon- the team. inside of me, and Pedro was just in In a statement from pageant offi- This couldn't come at a worst time wonderful the two men are every for Shauntay Hinton, who is a senior key "Pedro." Following his press conference the wrong place at the wrong time," cials earlier this week, Ms. Hinton week, and put several ads in each Broadcast Communications major at "He was really acting up and yesterday afternoon at Pac Bell said Kent. "Sometimes we do was only asked to return the crown ; issue. Just bear with me on that one. needed a good beating, so I went to Park, shortly after the Giants' bat- things that we are not proud of, but after "intense" viewing of the tape. Howard University. She was on the fast ! Kimmy has to help Teddy make ting practice, that same media and we just have to move on and try to After it was discovered that it was track to a career as a top news personal- imore money, but after the Olym- town on him and that is when I felt Giants manager Dusty Baker were put the past behind us." indeed her straddling the R&B star, ity—a career in which she was ambi- I pics also has to bear a child for Mr. the sharp, numbing pain in my wrist noticeably stunned by the confes- For Kent, who is looking to have Donald Trump, the pageant organizer, tiously going after. Llac. who is 85 years old and has and knew I had injured it," said sion of the All-Star second another solid season in the meat of asked for her to return crown at once. Now her future goals are thwarted jyet to be married or have a child. Kent. baseman. the Giants powerful lineup, look- In a statement from Ms. Hinton's unless she can turn around her career, as ]She's okay with that, except she According to Giant team offi- "At his age, and especially this ing to the future doesn't seem too lawyer that was obtained by the George- did Vanessa Williams in the early nine- said he must keep his false teeth in cials, Kent originally told the train- close to opening day, he should difficult. Anne earlier this week, Ms. Hinton ties. This.will require a tremendous because gums gross her out. Kari ers that he injured the wrist when he have known better than to spank For his monkey however, it just claimed her innocence. She said, "My amount PR on the part of Ms. Hinton. has to bake her sour cream biscuits fell off his truck while washing it his monkey like that," said Baker. might be one long, hard summer in involvement with Mr. Kelly is on a pure "She will never be me! I thought she for the entire office everyday, and late on the afternoon of March 1. It was later reported that several "That is the kind of thing we all did the San Francisco Bay area. personal level. I was involved with Mr. could, but not any more." :has to call everyone sir or ma'am. ; Lindsay has been put in charge of I Sunday morning breakfast for the rest of her life, with the help of her : boyfriend, Kevin. They have to Russell Union to host reunion | make egg&toast and potatoes and French toast for the executive of- fice family every week. of 'Full House' on April 2 All of our outside jobs will be By Ynda Hous' Jesse, known for his hair - don't Stamos on the show, has also been jeasy to deal with, except for maybe [email protected] touch it! - and his musical tastes. successful. Yes, "successful" | Kim, but it's okay, we still get tons The GSU campus has seen Jesse was married to Becky, does indeed mean marrying : of money. many big names and events come Danny's cohost of a local morn- Rebecca Romijn. Stamos has at- After the rules were set, we gave and go, but none like what will hit ing show. Confused yet? tempted a few television shows | them a price and they accepted it. the Russell Union on Apr. 2nd at None of those characters could since, but none of that really mat- We have a credit limit of 1.5 million 7 p.m. That's right, the majority hold a candle to Kimmy Gibler, ters after marrying Romijn. dollars a year, which will be used to of the cast of the classic sitcom the neighbor and friend of DJ. Not surprisingly, Bob Saget cover all travel expenses. Mr. Llac "Full House" will be in attendance Kimmy was a true fashion plate has been the easiest of the reunit- was also kind enough to give the for the first-ever reunion since with her bright shoes and fash- ing stars for the George-Anne staff four of us our own Cadillac original episodes of the show ionable hairstyles. to contact. Following the demise Escalades, so if you see us driving stopped being made. Oh, Jesse and Becky had twins, of "Full House," Saget went on to around campus, honk and wave. You might remember the Tan- but they came really late in the host the first edition of We' ve decided to start track train- ner family and the hijinxs that series and nobody remembers "America's Funniest Home Vid- House Full/FFSTA ing this summer, we'll be heading to always seemed to happen in their them anyway. Better remembered eos" for what seemed like an eter- Lake Tahoe, Ca. because Kim likes FULL HOUSE cast will reunite after several years in the Union. Students big house. There was Danny, the is the family dog. An anonymous nity. the name Tahoe, and then after that are encouraged to stop by and meet with the cast tomorrow at 7 p.m. divorced dad with three kids. student noted, "Oh, snap! I loved The answer to that question we'll go to real training locations. fully remembered her stardom fol- His oldest daughter, DJ, that dog!" Didn't we all, pal... may never be known. However, but don't tell them that, Dave We have several coaches set up to lowing the show. struggled with all of the big deci- didn't we all. for attending the reunion, the Courier, who starred as Joey (and help, but we could always use more. Lori Laughlin, Jesse's wife sions that your average teenager Of all of the former cast, Mary George-Anne staff has guaranteed that woodchuck puppet he carried And you'll get to travel with us, too! Rebecca on the show, had little to does. Then there was Stephanie, Kate and Ashley Olsen have ob- Saget that we will write his name around), was full of excitement at Assilem Sronnoc is the Strops add on the reunion. "Well, I've the middle child struggling viously been the only ones to do in chalk in a star outside of the the press conference announcing Rotide of The George-Anne and can done a few Lifetime movies since through the anything decent with themselves University Store, right next to the the reunion. "After many years be reached at the show. I'm ready to get back awkward stages of life. And in Hollywood since. The twins ad for ladies' night. of starring in various sitcoms and [email protected]. She would with the old cast and have some then there was Michelle, strug- star in their own sitcom on ABC Come on, I can do it! His movies, I am proud to be reunit- like to begin helping Ted Turner out fun." gling through being a little cutie Family and have a very success- name is Jared... dum dum dum..." ing with my fellow cast." Re- right now by giving everyone his Other students are excited pie. Danny was joined in the ful line of videos and DVDs. In Saget was then dragged off by search could not find a list of sponsorship hotline phone number, Those planning on attending the house by Joey Gladstone, who addition, they have their own a group of men in white coats, these shows and movies, but Cou- in case anyone is interested in start- reunion should plan to arrive a tested out all of his jokes on the clothing line and magazine. laughing uncontrollably. Despite rier was insistant. "Cut... it... ing their own team or group. He's few hours early. The Union looks family since he obviously did not Sadly, however, Mary Kate will this, he will still be at the reunion out! These shows were all hits." very willing to help and can be like it will be filled to capacity by have what it takes to be a real not be present at the reunion. tomorrow night. The rest of the Candace Cameron, also reached at 1-888-TURN TED. 7 p.m. comic. There was also Uncle John Stamos, known as Uncle cast has faded off into obscurity, known as oldest daughter DJ, tear- Hanner to hold celebrity boxing to benefit the "I Can't Find A Park" fiind With the collected funds, those who T, who can actually be seen using a Also on the card is a bout between responding that "I sing every song plan on sampling a little of All's style, - By Ivanna Park a little of the Tyson flair, and maybe a •■ ivannapark @ park.com cannot find a park will be able to visit punching bag in one of his more re- reigning pop princess Britney Spears that I sing, and Justin and I are still It was announced on Friday that a select location and complain. In cent commercials and has competed and rock/pop goddess Sheryl Crow. together. We love each other very little of the Hulk Hogan style j ust for < the Hanner Fieldhouse will host a turn, they will be given a quarter, told in celebrity boxing matches in the While her new album, "C'mon, much. He means the world to me. I extra flash." J.Lo, on the other hand, ••■ special three-bout celebrity boxing to call somebody who cares, and told past. However, Carrot Top has the C'mon," arrives in stores in April, love you, Justin!" With his recent says, "All it will take to beat Puffy is to " event on April 15th at 8 p.m. The to drive here at a decent time instead height advantage. He is also known Crow has taken a few years out of the rise in popularity as the All-Ameri- dance my way around him." Ja Rule event follows in the footsteps of Fox's of waiting so long. for physical gags and could possibly big spotlight. Spears has jumped can father on his new MTV show, will be in J.Lo's corner, working on ratings knockout "Celebrity Boxing," The main event will be a battle of trick Mr. T into falling for a hilarious right in that spotlight, appearing ev- Ozzy Osbourne will stand in as spe- remixing yet another song of hers, featuring Vanilla Ice, Tonya Harding, celebrity spokesmen, as 1-800-COL- trap. erywhere from MTV to Pepsi com- cial guest referee. He was interviewed while P. Diddy will be at it alone. and an amazing Danny Bonaduce vs. LECT warrior Mr. T will square off Both men were reached for com- mercials to the Super Bowl halftime for this story, but the only words that Tickets for this extravaganza go Barry Williams slugfest. against 1-800-CALL-ATT kingpin ment on their bout, but neither really show. In a phone interview, Crow would not have to be censored are on sale at 11 a.m. on April 10th. For The event will be charitable, as it Carrot Top. It will be the ultimate gave signs of any plans for the three- declared Spears a fake, saying, "the," "and," and "crazy." only $20, you can watch J.Lo and P. will benefit the newly established "I battle of the mohawk against thefiery round battle. Mr. T simply stated, "I "Britney is nothing more than a Barbie Rounding out the card is the open- Diddy collide, Sheryl Crow try to Can't Find A Park" Fund. This fund red hair. Both men have joined the pity the fool who don't use 1-800- doll moving her lips to taped music ing contest, featuring P. Diddy bat- knock the Pepsi taste out of Britney has been established due to the over- collect calling business, in the last COLLECT!" while Carrot Top coun- while wearing stripper outfits." tling it out with his ex, Spears' mouth, and Mr. T battle tered with, "Dial right down the Spears was obviously not pleased Jennifer Lopez. "My game plan Carrot Top to the ultimate finish. . whelming amount of complaints year. about not being able to find a park. The early advantage goes to Mr. middle. 1-800-CALL-ATT!" upon being told of these comments, for this bout is simple," said Diddy. 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