A Macbeth’ Brings a Little Magic to Douglas College Actors Discuss Play’S Definitely a Twist to This Story.” Old Story,” Thompson Said

THE DOUGLAS COLLEGE NEWSPAPER SINCE 1978 OtherPress. e

Room 1020 – 700 Royal Ave. Douglas College New Westminster, BC V3L 5B2 TELEPHONE: 604.525.3542 WEBSITE: www.theotherpress.ca EMAIL: [email protected] Darling, would you like

Jacey Gibb Editor-in-chief to grow a beard? [email protected]

Natalie Serafini -Ernest Hemingway Assistant Editor [email protected]

Angela Ho Business Manager [email protected]

Chris Paik ’ll always remember my first. We were a year out of high We rocked the costumes and I successfully avoided anyone Distribution Manager Ischool and a friend of mine was leaving to volunteer for 10 confusing me for a fat Italian, but I’ve once again been left [email protected] months, so I hosted a Mexican fiesta kegger as a send-off. I moustache-less. wanted to make the night a memorable one, and so I did it. It Oddly enough, the day after I shaved my moustache Cody Klyne felt weird at first—I could barely recognize myself in the mirror marked the start of Movember—a pastime I’ve never felt afterwards—but it was amazing. I looked like a new man. I attached to and continue to not partake in. I’ve covered the topic Layout Manager think there might even be a couple photos of it on Facebook, not in the past so I won’t go into my viewpoints too excessively, but [email protected] that I encourage you all to look for the photographic evidence I’ll say that I love the message behind Movember and encourage of my first. No matter the circumstances that surrounded it, I’ll every guy reading this to go get checked for prostate cancer. Joel McCarthy never forget my first moustache. It’s the second leading cause of death in men, and according to Graphics Manager Who knows when I first started to grow notable facial Cancer.org, one in every six men will develop it in his lifetime; [email protected] hair. Legend might say I was born with bristly cheeks, but your butthole can also rest easy knowing the doctor only needs historians place it more accurately in Grade 10. What began as a blood test for the exam. Ed Appleby an awkward neckbeard flourished into an object of envy to my On a related/more silly note, I spent a significant amount Ilustrator colleagues who grew nothing more than pre-pubescent patches. of time procrastinating while writing this Lettitor, doing When I arrived to have my graduation picture taken, the moustache-related research. Like, did you know that the oldest Patrick Vailancourt photographer suggested I go home, shave, and come back the portrait of a man with a moustache dates back to 300 BC? If you News Editor next day; I overheard someone talking in the hallway at school did, then you’re either well-informed or kind of weird. There’s [email protected] about how they wanted a “Jacey Gibb beard”; I purchased a also a moustache on record that’s a staggering 14-ft long. Dream plaid jacket last winter and received more lumberjack comments big, fellas. Cheryl Minns than we had rainy days. It’s the closest I’ve ever come to being a And there you have it. My first-ever Lettitor dedicated celebrity. to the facial hair that lives above your lips. I still miss my Arts Editor To say I dabbled with moustaches after the Mexican fiesta moustache quite dearly and find myself periodically going [email protected] would be generous. Maybe for the occasional Pompous Asshole to stroke it, only to find disappointment. Not that I could Sophie Isbister Night I would trim my beard and leave my upper lip robust, compare me shaving to someone losing an appendage, but my but it wasn’t until a hipster party two summers ago that my moustache has become a phantom limb of sorts—though one of Life & Style Editor fondness for lip sweaters took hold. The moustache, originally the advantages to being a Wolfman is the ability to grow facial [email protected] part of my costume, lingered for days before I succumbed to hair at an unprecedented rate. I know that it’s only a matter of public opinion and shaved. However, this summer I found the time before I’m reunited with my moustachioed companion and Elliot Chan heat too excessive and brought the mo’ back for mo’. Despite the I can go back to being mistaken for someone’s dad. Opinions Editor recurring comment that I looked like someone’s dad, I received [email protected] more praise for my moustache than for anything else I’ve ever So it goes, done—including being hired as Editor-in-chief. Jacey Gibb Eric Wilkins Unfortunately, I was forced to shave my porn ‘stache for Editor-in-chief Cazzy Sports Editor Lewchuk my Halloween costume this year. My best friend and I had Staff Writer [email protected] planned to go as Wreck-It Ralph and Fix-It Felix, and I wanted to do everything possible to avoid being mistaken for Mario. Courtnie Martin Sports Reporter

Livia Turnbull he Other Press has been Douglas The Other Press is published that includes papers from all across Humour Editor TCollege’s student newspaper since weekly during the fall and winter Canada. [email protected] 1976. Since 1978 we have been an semesters, and monthly during the The Other Press reserves the autonomous publication, independent summer. We receive our funding right to choose what we will publish, of the student union. We are a from a student levy collected and we will not publish material Cazzy Lewchuk registered society under the Society through tutition fees every semester that is hateful, obscene, or condones Aidan Mouellic Act of British Columbia, governed at registration, and from local and or promotes illegal activities. by an eight-person board of directors national advertising revenue. The Submissions may be edited for clarity Julia Siedlanowska appointed by Wand from our staff. Other Press is a member of the and brevity if necessary. All images Staff Writers Our head office is located in the New Canadian University Press (CUP), used are copyright to their respective Westminster campus. a syndicate of student newspapers owners. Steve Cayer Senior Columnists

Sharon Miki Our collective meets every Monday @ 6:00p.m. Anyone can join! Columnists

Brittney MacDonald, Clive Ramroop Contributors www.theotherpress.ca News. Rob Ford crack allegations resurface Toronto police chief video I haven’t seen or does not exist.” announces investigators Ford’s brother, Toronto City Councillor Doug Ford, has have elusive crack video called for the Toronto Police Patrick Service to release the video to Vailancourt the public to allow residents to News Editor make their own conclusions. [email protected] Toronto Police spokesperson Mark Pugash has asserted that he Toronto Police Service the police must turn evidence Thas confirmed that it is now over to the courts, and the in possession of a “digital video courts “have the authority to file,” which is said to show decide whether that should Toronto Mayor Rob Ford at be released…” He continued, an Etobicoke house, showing stating that, “I know that media images that are allegedly lawyers are already working consistent with previous reports on that process to get the video on Ford’s activities—a reference released.” to the allegations that Ford was Dennis Morris, Ford’s filmed smoking crack cocaine. lawyer, has been particularly Toronto Police Chief Bill Toronto Mayor Rob Ford | Photo courtesy of www.shedoesthecity.com critical of police Chief Bill Blair Blair said at a press conference for comments he made at the that he was “disappointed,” also procured drugs for the the money had been raised, to step aside. “I have no reason press conference, specifically after announcing that his officers Toronto mayor. the video and its owner had to resign,” said Ford. the comment about him being were now investigating the Earlier this year, a source mysteriously disappeared. Ford added that he is personally “disappointed.” contents of the video. tipped off the Toronto Star and Chief Blair’s press unable to comment on the video “[Chief Blair] has a duty to Reports of the video being Gawker.com about having conference has revived the because ”it’s before the courts report news in a dispassionate in police possession came as a a damning video of Mayor nationwide debate about right now.” The video, however, fashion,” said Morris, adding shock to residents of Canada’s Ford smoking crack cocaine. the mayor’s capacity to lead is currently in police custody, that Blair should immediately largest city, and occurred on the The reporters met with the Toronto’s 2.8-million people. and there is no provision make the video public. same day of the arrest of Ford’s video’s owner in Toronto All four of Toronto’s major preventing the mayor from Toronto police have occasional driver and friend and were shown the video. newspapers have called on the commenting publicly on the confirmed that they are trying Alexander Lisi, who is charged Reporters were convinced of its mayor to resign—including the video. to interview Ford in relation with attempting to retrieve a authenticity, but were met with Toronto Sun, formerly one of It is a change of tune in the to their criminal investigation video of Ford through extortion. the demand for a hefty payment Ford’s supporters. embattled mayor’s version of of Alexander Lisi, but thus far Several persistent reports to purchase the video. Gawker In response to media events: in May, he repeatedly the police have not received suggest that Lisi, in addition to successfully raised the $200,000 questions about the video, the told residents and reporters that a response from the mayor’s being Ford’s occasional driver, to purchase the video, but when mayor said that he has no plans he could not comment on “a office. Jack-o’-lanterns, costumes, and more Halloween at to referencing pop culture (the who were not dressed up. The Batman symbol carved into winner of the contest received a Douglas College a pumpkin). A box to put the $100 Metrotown gift card. votes in sat alongside, with a After partaking in the Cazzy student to answer questions Halloween festivities, a DSU Lewchuk about the procedure. For representative directed me Staff Writer example, he reminded me to to complete a survey about write my name on my vote, as student services in and around many students were accidentally Douglas College. Students who alloween is a time when casting anonymous votes. He completed the survey were most schools dress also informed me that by writing entered into a draw for either a Hup—either the hallways or my name, I was eligible to win a $250 Ticketmaster gift card or the students—in order to Tim Hortons’ gift card—another $50 to Walmart. There is no date have an appropriate holiday bonus to participating in the yet set for the draw, but the DSU atmosphere. Douglas College festivities. advised that the draw would was no exception, with the Also going on in the take place once they had 1,000 Douglas Students’ Union concourse from 10 a.m. to completed surveys. (DSU) putting on several 2 p.m. was the Douglas Look out for other displays of Halloween spirit College Costume Contest. All opportunities to participate in in the concourse of the New participants had their photo DSU events post-Halloween, Westminster campus. taken against a backdrop including Cinema Politica’s The pumpkin carving holding a number. The photos screening of Status Quo? The contest saw about 20 jack- were then displayed on a large Unfinished Business of Feminism o’-lanterns spread across a screen so that students could in Canada on Tuesday November square arrangement of tables, cast their vote. There were 12 at 4:30 p.m., and the Around along with a voting booth. pirates, Disney characters, the World Pub Night on The designs ranged from horrifically made up faces, a Thursday November 21 at 7:30 grotesque (a pumpkin with werewolf, and even SpongeBob p.m. for International Day. To gruesome extra bits glued on), SquarePants. It was quite a sight, give your opinion on student to cute (a pumpkin crying with as the participants contrasted services, take the DSU student pumpkin seeds as its “tears”), with the majority of students, services survey. Photos courtesy of Cazzy Lewchuk 3 News. Know the scoop or have a lead? Contact the editor at [email protected] Get to know your Douglas Students’ Union representatives

Sonia Keshane shares When did you start being If you could change one thing interested in aboriginal issues? at Douglas College, what her passion Is this how your involvement would it be? with the DSU began? “As an aboriginal woman Julia “I have always been and learner, I would like to Siedlanowska interested in advocating and see more initiative taken on Staff Writer raising awareness for many by Douglas College for our aboriginal issues; however, I aboriginal students and to see had not taken a leadership role the Douglas College Women’s onia Keshane is the in this capacity until I helped Centre have the proper supports aboriginal liaison at the organize the Idle No More and funding in place in order SDouglas Students’ Union (DSU). event last February with the to operate and provide services In her interview with the Other DSU. The success of the event needed. Although the DSU Press, she reveals how the and the support I felt from all does take initiative in providing support she felt during an event the organizers and volunteers services to our members, it last February prompted her to influenced me to put my name is vital that the college itself put her name forward and get forward for the position of take ownership in ensuring all involved in student politics. aboriginal liaison at the DSU.” students have access to vital services.” Could you explain for us How has working with the your role as DSU’s aboriginal DSU affected your life? Have What advice would you give liaison? What duties does this you found it helpful in other someone wanting to get include? aspects of your daily life? involved with the DSU? “As the aboriginal liaison, “Being elected as a “Volunteer with the DSU! my portfolio consists of representative for the DSU has The DSU has a variety of representing all aboriginal had a very profound [impact] volunteer opportunities, with students on campus, and liaising on my life. It has given me an an event for every student. with the Aboriginal Student opportunity to connect with Whether it be social justice [Services] Centre at both the our membership and the larger related, or membership New Westminster and David community, as well as allowed outreach, there is a space for all Lam campuses. I also organize me to work with a group of interests and hobbies. Joining or and facilitate many different people who are passionate creating a club is another way to events, varying from social about their duties to serve the engage and connect with other justice campaigns (such as Idle membership at Douglas College. likeminded individuals, as well No More, Sisters in Spirit, and “I have found it helpful as learning about what other No Means No), to membership because it has given me a services and things the DSU has outreach initiatives (such as ‘political awakening’ to what to offer.” Welcome Week and Your Voice issues I am interested in and Matters), as well as free food also to what issues our students events.” and communities face.” Sonia Keshane Independent Panel on Internet Voting releases preliminary report Panel says Internet voting members with backgrounds in will increase turnout, but the elections in BC, the panel elections are basic and essential technology, Internet security preliminary report concluded suggests that the cost of its to democratic governance.” ‘not secure enough yet’ policy, cryptography, and that there was no evidence in implementation may be too Dr. Nesbitt suggested that electoral administration. the case studies examined that much for the taxpayer to bear. public funds be diverted from Patrick While the panel did not would result in greater voter “Security at the voter’s the government’s “massive” Vailancourt recommend the implementation engagement. Dr. Nesbitt said device, reduced transparency communications budget News Editor of Internet voting, they have that while the report does not and auditability compared to and spent instead on the [email protected] started a provincial consultation conclude higher turnout, he traditional voting methods, and administration of local and process to engage British acknowledged that the benefits cost were seen by the panel to be provincial elections. panel formed at the Columbians on the subject. The of Internet voting are evident. the most significant The Independent Panel on solicitation of the consultation will proceed until “The report notes that challenges to implementing Internet Voting was formed at AGovernment of British Columbia December 4 and public feedback supplementing the current Internet voting for either local the request of the provincial to examine the feasibility of can be submitted online at voting system with remote government or provincial government, in part to reverse Internet voting in municipal and Internetvotingpanel.ca Internet voting would benefit government elections,” said the the troubling downward provincial elections has returned Dr. Darin Nesbitt, chair of current voters in ways other report’s executive summary. trend of voter engagement, recommendations that will put the political science department than increasing voter turnout Dr. Nesbitt took aim at particularly in municipal such a measure on hold for the at Douglas College, applauded rates, especially with increased the notion that cost should elections. In the 2011 municipal foreseeable future. the panel’s well-researched accessibility and convenience.” determine how elections are elections, turnout in the City The Independent Panel on conclusions and encouraged all Dr. Nesbitt, when asked conducted in British Columbia. of New Westminster was 24.22 Internet Voting has returned British Columbians to offer their about the report’s flaws, said “In my view, what British per cent, while the City of recommendations to study feedback online. that the implicit cost-benefit Columbians—the government Vancouver had a better turnout online voting further, saying “The report is well- analysis provided for in the and citizens—need to reconsider at 34.57 per cent. that the inherent risks that researched and an important report was somewhat vague, is the increasingly prominent The preliminary report currently exist in today’s online document for all British saying that “the report does view that the cost of local and of the Independent Panel for environment outweigh the Columbians to consider,” said not define what constitutes a provincial elections should Internet Voting can be viewed potential benefits. Dr. Nesbitt in an interview with reasonable or acceptable limit be the determining criterion online at internetvotingpanelca. The panel was chaired the Other Press. on the costs of implementing for conducting them,” said blob.core.windows.net/ by Dr. Keith Archer, British Advocates of the Internet remote Internet voting.” Dr. Nesbitt. “The provincial internetvotingpanelca/ipiv- Columbia’s chief electoral voting initiative argue that In recommending a delay government must ensure public prelim-rpt-20131023.pdf officer, and included four other allowing people to vote from in implementing Internet voting monies are wisely and efficiently their home or office computers for municipal and provincial expended, but voting and 4 www.theotherpress.ca News. Conservatives gather in Calgary for biennial convention

Harper to delegates: Even party elders, such as former prime minister Joe Clark, ‘I couldn’t care less are calling on Harper to be forthcoming with everything he what they say, we will knows about the Senate scandal. do the right thing’ “Right now, I think he has to bring people into the facts,” said Clark, who was interviewed by Patrick CBC Vailancourt the ’s Peter Mansbridge. News Editor “And I think he needs to tell the [email protected] real story and I think he needs to seek some advice as to what’s the most effective way to do embers of the that.” MConservative Party of The Conservative caucus Canada descended on Calgary has been divided recently over from October 31 to November some heated rhetoric related to 2 for the party’s national the Senate expenses scandal, convention—planning for a particularly the character and federal election that’s now professional conduct of Harper’s less than two years away. The former chief of staff Nigel Conservative Party convention Wright. Wright has admitted comes amidst new revelations to issuing a cheque of over in the Senate expense scandal, $90,000 to Senator Mike Duffy, which has seriously damaged who had been ordered to repay the credibility of Prime Minister inappropriate expense claims. Stephen Harper. The prime minister has Harper has been bombarded been harsh with the rhetoric with opposition questions since recently in an effort to get past Parliament returned last month, the scandal, which has brought and has offered public support chaos to his government’s for a motion that would see message planning. Harper Senators Mike Duffy, Pamela pointed the blame directly Wallin, and Patrick Brazeau—all at Wright last week during Harper appointees—suspended Question Period in the House of without pay for their roles in the Commons. Senate expenses scandal. “On our side, there is The government had hoped one person responsible for that the motion to suspend this deception and that person the senators would have is Mr. Wright,” Harper said in been wrapped up prior to the response to opposition questions convention, but Senate debates in the House of Commons. on the motion have made a Despite the hard line quick vote impossible. the prime minister has taken The prime minister, in toward his former chief of his keynote address to the staff, prominent Conservative convention, placed the blame members have spoken publicly for Senate delays related to in support of Nigel Wright. the motions to suspend Duffy, Alberta Conservative MP James Wallin, and Brazeau squarely on Rajotte characterized Wright his political opponents. Harper as a friend and “an exemplary suggested that the opposition character.” parties are portraying the Minister of Employment senators at the heart of the and Social Development Jason scandal as “victims or even Kenney also spoke glowingly of martyrs,” as they try to discredit the former chief of staff: “I know the prime minister’s version of Nigel Wright to be a person of events. good faith, of competence, with “I don’t care what they [the high ethical standards,” Kenney opposition parties] say, we will said to the Calgary Herald. do the right thing,” said Harper Other high profile in reference to his government’s Conservatives have offered move to suspend the senators. kind words to Wright, including The convention had Justice Minister Peter MacKay. been previously scheduled The RCMP is investigating for the spring, but needed to all of the senators, and recently be postponed in the wake of announced their preliminary massive flooding in Calgary findings into Senator Pamela and surrounding communities. Wallin’s expenses, saying The unity within the Tory ranks, that they believe the evidence which was evident during the supports allegations of fraud catastrophic flooding in Alberta, and breach of trust. has seemingly been washed away as division within the Conservative caucus becomes more apparent. Stephen Harper | Photo courtesy of www.mises.ca 5 Arts. Have an idea for a story or review? Contact the editor at [email protected] One man’s junk is an artist’s treasure Eco-friendly artist coming Because most of her piece Minden made out of junk assemblages include a variety of she found on her farm that the to Douglas College items placed together based on previous owner had buried. relationships, she describes her Collecting the refuse and Cheryl art as “studies” and gives them putting it in a painted shadow Minns study numbers for titles instead box, she created One Man’s Junk, Arts Editor of names. which began her fascination [email protected] Her mixed media with framing items she found assemblages came as a response discarded on the ground. ixed media artist Cynthia to her curiosity and worry over “It’s interesting to me to Minden has always had what the Earth would do with take something discarded and Man affinity for old keys and the junk that people threw on reframe it. I mean, literally bent nails. Her work, which the ground. put a frame around it but also features rusty locks, driftwood, “I got out my collection of reframe it visually so that thing leaves, and more, will be in the rusty stuff and got out another becomes precious and you see it Amelia Douglas Gallery from collection of found, gathered differently,” she said, explaining November 7 to December 20. natural materials: seed pods and how the junk became art. I spoke to Minden last week curled leaves and bits of wood “If you pick it up and about her upcoming show, her that were interesting,” she said. dust it off and then find some

Her mixed media assemblages came as a response to her curiosity and worry over what the Earth would do with the junk that people threw on the ground.

art, and how she began her “I wondered if I could create interesting relationship between journey into the world of mixed new objects that would make that and some other pieces, it’s media assemblage. sense of how the Earth might a whole new way of looking at “I saw really interesting absorb this junk.” ordinary stuff.” relationships between form and The title of her Douglas The only rule Minden has between surfaces and between College exhibit, Reclamation, imposed on her art creation texture and shapes and negative reflects how she believes the is that she will not work with space, and that started to Earth will react and what her art plastic in her work because fascinate me,” she said. represents. plastic is hard for the Earth to “As I would place “I think the Earth will take reclaim. She admits that some of something down on my back these things hopefully and her work includes bits of plastic, workspace, then I would notice vines will grow over and things but the unnatural material will that the torn edge of that thing will fall on top and some things never be a focus of her art. might have a relationship to the will get buried and other things The Reclamation opening torn edge of something else. I will emerge,” she said. reception will be held November really started to place things in This idea of the Earth 7 from 4:30 to 7:30 p.m. in the a way that hopefully makes that claiming objects and then Amelia Douglas Gallery. Minden more apparent.” having them resurface comes will give a talk in the gallery on from the first mixed media November 8 at 10 a.m. Three Stick Bundles by Cynthia Minden | Photo courtesy of Cynthia Minden Advocating for arts in the sleepy suburbs Helen Daniels art might be most drawn to appreciation in kids,” Daniels more things that are relatively Vancouver, artists are more said. “I think if they appreciate inexpensive to do.” examines arts in the drawn to the suburbs. the arts and creativity, they One example Daniels “Most of the people that develop a bit of a different gave was about a project in sleepy suburbs I know that are involved in mindset, more openness, more East Vancouver that involved the arts here… a lot of them openminded to different ideas, painting poetry on buildings Julia live out here and do their art to different cultures. It creates along a certain route. Siedlanowska in Vancouver,” Daniels said a rounder, fuller person as a “It’s just little things like Staff Writer of Port Moody, where she citizen.” that. They don’t have to be currently resides. She also explored the idea huge sculptures, but just things This raises the obvious that people might not know that catch your attention,” she hen comparing the Helen Daniels question: why not create your where they can find art in the said. Wsuburbs to Vancouver, Photo courtesy of www.artsconnect.ca art for your local audience? suburbs. This sort of spontaneity there’s a prevailing assumption Part of the problem is “I think that a lot of people is probably the thing that is that there isn’t much going on serving the Tri-Cities) for 11 that there is less of a demand move here from Vancouver missing most in the suburbs. in the realm of the arts outside years and was also on the for art in the suburbs than and so I think that in some Perhaps it’s a symptom of of the big city. board of the Assembly for BC in Vancouver. However, it is ways the audience is here. It’s family life that stifles the But as far as engagement Arts Council (now ArtsBC). not only up to patrons or the partly about marketing it to impulse to see some theatre or goes, the suburbs “provide “Because the Tri-Cities are artists to create a demand—it them and creating awareness dance. more opportunities in some smaller we can take a different is a synergy between the two. of what’s here,” she said. Though if art were more ways than in Vancouver,” approach than maybe an arts “I think we need to grow “I think art needs to be around us and more familiar, it according to Helen Daniels, council in Vancouver might,” the audience and I think it more visible here. We need wouldn’t even take an effort to who was executive director for she explained. starts with developing that to see more public art and be a patron. Arts Connect (the arts council She found that while 6 www.theotherpress.ca Arts. It’s a Batman buffet! ‘Batman: Arkham game. The Black Mask is Origins’ for PS3 review living large and decides to put a $50-million bounty Steve Cayer, Senior Columnist on Batman’s head. Some of the villains are known, like Deathstroke and Bane, while others are less familiar, like Firefly and Copperhead. atman: Arkham Origins The highlight of these finally answers the question games is the seamless Bof how Batman meets some combat. It does an amazing of the villains that DC Comics job at making you feel like throws at him. a complete badass. If you Origins is a prequel to the think you just complete the first game, Arkham Asylum, and campaign and move on, you’re starts off just two years after so wrong. This game has Bruce Wayne first donned the different side quests featuring Batsuit. No one but his trusty more villains like the Penguin butler, Alfred, even knows he and Shiva. It also has the exists. famously difficult Combat and I loved how when you Predator Challenge modes. start a fight near the beginning And if that’s not enough, of the game, the criminals say WB decided to add online things like, “I knew he was multiplayer. The concept is real!” Later on in the series, really cool, and the execution they’re already frightened. is done well. It’s in a 3v3v2 The makers of the last two format where the thugs of Bane Batman games, Rocksteady and Joker’s gang fight against Games, decided to let Warner each other while a team of Bros. Games Montreal take the Batman and Robin stealthily fly reins for Origins. Overall, they above, waiting for the perfect did everything the same as moment to strike. Rocksteady. The only problems I wasn’t expecting this were a certain lack of polish game to have so much, so I am and minor lag times. more than satisfied. The story is pretty simple, but a brilliant tie-in to the first Still from Batman: Arkham Origins Love interests and villains: the one-dimensional women of Batman

‘Batman: The Widening known names such as Baron Blitzkrieg and Crazy Quilt are Gyre’ review used to keep the focus on the internal monologue, though some of the more classic foes Brittney MacDonald, Contributor like Poison Ivy turn up as well. Poison Ivy, one of the most iconic symbols of femme fatale and often perceived as a powerful lesbian symbol, atman: The Widening Gyre, is reduced to a crazed written by Kevin Smith, nymphomaniac in this story. As Bexplores Batman’s personal a woman, I find these characters relationships with everyone incredibly insulting. My distaste from his various protégés, to for them ruined a good deal love interests, to the iconic of the enjoyment I would villains who have come out of have otherwise found in the the Batman franchise over the narrative. years; yet, the graphic novel fails But the art by Walter to portray a powerful female Flanagan is impressive. It character. features a darker, more classic The plot follows Bruce comic book style: heavy on the Wayne as his former flame, inks, but modern in its use of Silver St. Cloud, re-emerges into smooth gradients. It goes a long his life. She appears as an over- way to convey the gothic nature sexualized, pig-tailed housewife of Batman, but does fall short waiting for Wayne to come on the scenes depicting Wayne home for a roll in the hay and to and St. Cloud in a tropical island take her out shopping. paradise. The villains themselves are kept fairly minimal. Lesser Illustration from Batman the Widening Gyre 7 Arts. Have an idea for a story or review? Contact the editor at [email protected] It’s a pirate’s life for me! ‘Assassin’s Creed IV: Black The game starts off a lot faster than its predecessor; no five- Flag’ for PS3 review hour tutorial here. It begins with Ed running into a travelling merchant Steve Cayer, Senior Columnist who is being held hostage by privateers. Being a pirate, Ed has to steal one of the uniforms. There I go again, doing too many side quests and not Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag enough main missions. To be sends you sailing the high seas fair, though, that’s exactly what of the Caribbean, plundering you’re going to do in this game. every ship that gets in your way. Near the beginning, you get Some fans of the series your own ship, the Jackdaw. were skeptical of the new The map in Black Flag is game because many didn’t like probably one of the biggest I’ve Assassin’s Creed III (AC3) very explored, including around 50 much—myself not included. But completely optional islands to Ubisoft has made a hit with the explore and take over as your latest installment in the series. own. There’s just so much you Black Flag is a prequel can do, and that’s only the to AC3 and it’s a story of a beginning. new Abstergo employee in The online multiplayer present day tasked with doing option is still prevalent here and research on Edward Kenway, it’s never been better. If only it the grandfather of the main had online naval battles. character of AC3, Connor Needless to say, you’re Kenway. going to have trouble putting It’s the year 1715 and this one down. Now let me get pirating is at the peak of its time. back to my game. Still frim Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag Douglas College’s ‘Steel Magnolias’ pulls on heartstrings Cast chemistry to play this role. Heather Wyborn also makes goes a long way an impression as the bubbly Truvy Jones, who can be crying Cheryl her eyes out one minute and Minns laughing like a child the next. Arts Editor Wyborn maintained her bubbly [email protected] personality and Louisiana accent throughout the play. Even ou’ll laugh, you’ll cry, and after sadder scenes that involved you’ll wish your hairstylist crying, she was able to end her Ywas as friendly as Truvy Jones. tears and be her perky self again Steel Magnolias presents a at a moment’s notice. Louisiana group of women who During the sold out opening support each other through night performance, the audience the best and worst of times— was very receptive to the six whether it’s dealing with a bad actors’ performances, laughing hair day or getting through a at their jokes and crying during tragic loss. their saddest conversations. The Douglas College Several attendees gave a Studio Theatre is wonderfully standing ovation at the show’s decorated as Truvy’s hair salon, close. with the set starting where the If you want to see 1980s seats end so audience members female bonding at its finest, then feel like they’re in the salon with this is definitely the play to see. the characters. Steel Magnolias is playing Alexandria Gamache gives until November 9 at the Studio a particularly outstanding Theatre at Douglas College’s performance as Shelby New Westminster campus. Eatenton-Latcherie, a young Tickets are $10-12, and are diabetic woman who refuses available through Massey to take her mother’s advice Theatre at 604-521-5050 or at regarding her health. From tickets.masseytheatre.com the minute her character has a diabetic episode that seems so real you almost want to rush over and offer assistance, it’s clear that Gamache knows how Photo courtesy of www.hotelrachmaninov.com 8 www.theotherpress.ca Arts. ‘A Macbeth’ brings a little magic to Douglas College Actors discuss play’s definitely a twist to this story.” old story,” Thompson said. Learning to speak Having some knowledge of “You get to see more of the unnatural rhythm of wardrobe and challenges the original play is suggested, the internal struggle with the Shakespeare’s words has not as this version does take a few characters than what’s really been easy, either. Cheryl liberties with the content. portrayed on the outside,” “It’s not our everyday Minns “Our play isn’t exactly Lindgren added. language, it’s not the context Arts Editor Macbeth—it’s an adaptation,” When the theatre faculty that we live in,” Thompson [email protected] Thompson explained. “All the members pick a play for a explained. “I know I’ve heard lines that are used are from performance, they look for many times and I’m now illiam Shakespeare’s the original play, but they’re scripts that will challenge starting to experience that Macbeth just got a lot more mismatched around and their students. Lindgren Shakespeare is some of the most magicalW with the revamp of different characters say different and Thompson agree that A difficult theatre because you Douglas College’s production of things.” Macbeth has had its challenging have to incorporate everything Charles Marowitz’s A Macbeth. The play follows the moments. that you already know and Featuring elaborate general storyline of the original, Lindgren described the play more.” costumes inspired by Luisa but delves deeper into the as a collage of scenes without A Macbeth will be playing Casati—described by acting characters’ inner thoughts. formal character development. from November 8 to 16 at student Olivia Lindgren as “the “In Macbeth, there are tons “It’s really hard to drop in and the Laura C. Muir Theatre Lady Gaga of the 1920s”—and of little characters here and there just be there in every moment, at Douglas College’s New exploring internal character and they kind of shaved this no matter what is going on,” she Westminster campus. Tickets are struggles with an alter ego, A one down to put only what’s said. $10-12, and can be purchased plays Macbeth, and Lindgren, Macbeth promises nothing less necessary. I think that really lets “Assuming some pretty through Massey Theatre who plays Lady Macbeth, about than a fantastic show. you see more of Macbeth and large and dark roles for at 604-521-5050 or tickets. what to expect in a play like this. I spoke with two of the lead Lady Macbeth and why they do us specifically is a battle,” masseytheatre.com “Expect the unexpected,” actors, Parker Thompson, who what they do compared to the Thompson said. Lindgren teased. “There’s British Pantomime 101: Intro to Panto

An unconventional elcome to the world of various British-rooted countries, lead female ingénue, damsel, years!” British pantomime, or including Canada. or princess role known as the But perhaps the most Christmas tradition “panto”W for short. The standard style of “principal girl,” the panto also central and essential factor in a For the uninitiated, a a panto puts outrageously casts key characters in gender- panto is audience participation. in live theatre panto is an interactive, musical comedic spins on classic stories, reversed roles. The audience does not simply comedy production that breaks legends, or fairy tales, such as The “principal boy” is the sit down, shut up, and watch Clive Ramroop, Contributor just about every rule of live Robin Hood or Cinderella. Some lead male hero, like Aladdin, the show. In fact, the crowd is theatre. It is a centuries- of those twists include certain Prince Charming, or even King encouraged to boo and cheer old Christmas tradition casting Arthur, who’s sometimes played throughout the show. If the This is the first article in the United Kingdom conventions by a woman, but not always audience doesn’t react loudly in a series about with followings in as core wearing fishnets and heels. enough, the performers will pantomime productions elements Then there is the dame, force them to yell louder. The in Greater Vancouver in the usually a mothering or man- players don’t merely break the and the Fraser Valley. panto hungry (or both) woman played fourth wall; they obliterate it, Next week, we will hear tradition. by a man with no attempt to playing directly to the crowd, from the Fraser Valley While make him (her?) appear the and often going directly into the Gilbert & Sullivan there is least bit attractive. The louder house while still in character. Society on its always a the costume and make-up, the “My favourite thing about upcoming show, stronger the comedic effect. pantos is that the fourth wall The Frog Musical selections can be is always broken,” said panto Princess. anything from novelty tunes player Michelle Gaetz. She like “Tie Me Kangaroo Down,” played the title role of White selections from Broadway Rock Players’ Club’s Pinocchio plays, and even popular last year and will be appearing hits like “Bad Romance,” in the Fraser Valley Gilbert “Thriller,” or “Takin’ Care & Sullivan Society’s The Frog of Business” reworked Princess this November. with new lyrics to fit “You get the free will of them into the show. improv and the luxury of a The jokes also range structured musical theatre piece all across the spectrum, in one show,” Gaetz said. from puns so terrible that It’s a unique theatrical even a grandfather would experience that can’t be found groan at them, to clever anywhere else; like an over-the- riffs on contemporary top cartoon in flesh and blood. pop culture or real world events, regardless of their anachronistic presence. Picture the Sheriff of Nottingham sending his stooges on a mission, saying, “Succeed and I will reward you. Fail… and I’ll make you watch re-runs of Toddlers & Tiaras for the next five 9 Life & Style. Have a fitness tip or recipe to share? Contact the editor at [email protected] Run away with the circus Aerial silks for specialty,” she says. that I was still alive when I let As with any activity, your go (a success in itself), although adrenaline junkies positive impressions of it largely it didn’t get any less scary the rely on a good instructor. second time around. Julia “I love introducing people “Honestly, any circus Sophie Siedlanowska to circus and all it has to offer. I discipline requires dedication Isbister Staff Writer love watching students succeed to push past the initial stages Life & Style and get excited over new where everything seems hard [email protected] accomplishments,” says Delous. and impossible, in order to hree months ago I “With silks in particular I move on to exciting tricks, discovered a fantastic and like being able to relate to any dynamic skills, and drops. Tfun way to work out, and I student that is having hard time But once you have persevered haven’t been able to stop since. learning a skill at first, because and stayed in class, you can Aerial silks require strength, I definitely started out that way officially say you have one of flexibility, and endurance. After when I first tried. I try to be very the coolest hobbies around,” my first class, my muscles were encouraging and let my students says Delous. “And as a bonus, hurting for days, but there was know of my own experience it’s amazing fitness and something about the activity and that it is indeed possible conditioning tool without that had me excited week after to get skills if you don’t give having to do repetitive exercises week. up.” at the gym.” Two years ago, my I know that in my Although my classes are instructor, Svetlana Mitsuko experience, such encouragement at Circus West in Vancouver, Delous, experienced a similar has been welcomed Delous also teaches at The pull to the craft. wholeheartedly. Circus Lab Inc. in Langley, a “I actually hated silks for “Silks gets very fun school she co-founded and now the longest time! They require once you know how to work co-owns. a lot of upper body strength, with the fabric, and the hard “Working at Circus and coming from a dance work definitely pays off with West has been an awesome background, arms weren’t my some adrenaline-packed drops experience from the start, as strongest point,” says Delous. or gorgeous static skills that their atmosphere is incredibly Originally specializing in are embellished by the way supportive to both staff and trapeze and aerial hoop, Delous the fabric flows around the students. Their learning space wanted to expand her circus aerialist,” Delous says. is also amazing: because it is skill set. Last week Delous guided surrounded by arena-style “It wasn’t until I started me through my very first seating, you always feel like performing and meeting other bungee—a move as terrifying you are in the centre ring of a professional aerialists that I as it sounds. After climbing up circus, even when you are just noticed that although most the silk (about 20-feet off the training.” aerialists have one or two types ground) you bind your feet and Delous highly recommends of apparatus they specialize on, let go. The effect is that you any of Circus West’s classes. most high-level aerialists are hang upside down as if from For me, I hope to take partner able to perform on aerial silks a bungee cord. After a lot of acrobatics next. Anyone rather well, even if it is not their shaking and screaming, I found interested? Julia Siedlanowska tumblin’ around in the air | Photo courtesy of Josh Martin Consumption junction How we can reduce our fashion statement. Look around even get my Nike’s sole repaired pair of handmade, stylish shoes intended purpose. at the sort of footwear trends at the cobbler. My favourite is rather romantic, but it makes I’m not an environmentalist, throwaway lifestyle— we see now: most of us are kicks are built to die young, a lot of sense. Leather boots are economist, or marketing man. wearing athletic shoes made in and that’s why I am done with way cooler than whatever is I’m just a guy who thinks it’s starting with shoes sweatshops overseas. athletic shoes for daily wear. likely on your feet right now, illogical to buy shoes that I had been wearing The famous Copp’s New plus you save the expense of are made in crappy working Aidan colourful shoes like this for West Shoes on Columbia Street constantly having to buy new conditions overseas, sent here Mouellic Staff Writer some time—until I had a that closed earlier this year and shoes. If you invest in a quality on giant boats, and then sold revelation. I was thinking about then burnt to the ground last pair of kicks that are made using in a giant corporate chain, my favourite pair of Nike shoes month was a seller of Dayton timeless techniques, such as only to be used for less than a year before being thrown here do shoes, cellphones, out. A lot of consumer habits Wcomputers, and Ziploc My favourite kicks are built to die young, and that’s why I am done with athletic today are illogical, likely due bags go when we have used to how illogical our minds are; them up? I don’t know for shoes for daily wear. we’re more concerned with sure, but it’s probably a landfill staying current with trends than somewhere. Our attitude anything else. towards how we consume goods that I wear almost everyday. Boots. Dayton Boots is a local properly welted soles which I’d like to start a revolution, is wrong and has to change. They developed a hole in the toe company which makes a variety can be replaced, you will be with its foundation based on I’ll use shoes as an example rather quickly, and now the sole of shoes built to last. Terry Brine, able to bring your shoes to local footwear. If we buy things of how our buying habits are is wearing out. Then I started who was the owner of Copp’s, businesses that can repair them. that last, buy things that are detrimental to the health of to think about the shoe repair says that “It’s not unheard of There is a time and place produced locally, and buy both our planet and our wallets. shop in New Westminster that to have guys who get eight, 10, for athletic shoes; if you’re out quality products that support The main purpose of shoes is to I used to pass by often. How or even 12 years out of their running or playing basketball, their local workers, then our make life more bearable while many cobblers were around Daytons.” In that time period I then wear some high-tech communities will be much better walking on rough surfaces—but before athletic shoes became the would likely go through 20 pairs inflatable shoes. You will get a off; and better communities since we moved past that simple norm? I pay a lot of money for of athletic shoes. lot more life out of those shoes create a better world. goal, shoes have become a major disposable shoes, and I can’t go The notion of purchasing a if you wear them solely for their 10 www.theotherpress.ca Life & Style. Hey porter A modest selection of in Penticton, BC, and the sun- kissed blackberry flavour the darker side of beer infuses this robust porter. I love it for sipping and for novelty, Sophie but I think this one is best kept Isbister as an after-dinner beer, perhaps Life & Style with some chocolate gelato. [email protected] The blackberry notes are very obvious. ove over, pumpkin Vanilla Oatis Oatmeal ale, we’re sick of your Stout (Ninkasi Brewing): So, Mgimmicky flavours and I could bathe in this delicious cloying autumn spices. With oatmeal vanilla stout that the calendar flipping over to comes from Ninkasi Brewing in November, it’s finally time Eugene, Oregon. This is the one for tiresome pumpkin-spice- I was most excited to try, and everything to clear the shelves it ended up being my absolute and make way for porters and favourite. It has a smoky, coffee- stouts. tinged taste when you first sip Porter is a hoppy beer made it, with that creamy texture that with brown malt that originated oatmeal stouts always have. in England in the 18th century. The vanilla shows itself on the It lends itself well to flavours, finish with a decisive sweet and while porters can be (and tenderness. I think I’m going to definitely are) enjoyed year marry this beer. round, there’s something about Longboat Chocolate Porter the cold, rainy, and snowy (Phillips): Another beer from season that makes me want Lion’s Gate Winter Ale, Dark Matter, Blackberry Porter, Vanilla Oatis Oatmeal Stout, Longboat Chocolate Porter Vancouver Island, Victoria- to sip on a robust beverage, based Phillips has been making reading one of my many leather- out five dark beers on offer at stouts, I find the Winter Ale to uncomplicated nut-brown beer. delicious flavoured beers since bound books, in my apartment your local liquor store. taste a little weak—the chocolate It has a simple chocolate flavour 2001. Their classic chocolate that smells of rich mahogany. Lions Winter Ale notes mix with vanilla and and a creamy texture, and unlike porter is no exception— Stouts are descended from (Granville Island Brewing): caramel to create a taste that is a the other, more-flavoured beers frequently imitated, Longboat porters, and while they are This award-winning local hero little cloying, but still massively that I reviewed, I could see Chocolate Porter is the original a little bit more intense than is not technically a porter or drinkable. Available in six-packs myself drinking a ton of this. and probably the best. I found porters because they use roasted a stout. It’s a robust, dark ale of bottles, or on tap at many This beer, like the following that the chocolate flavour wasn’t barley, both types of beer feature that I like to call a starter porter, establishments. ones, comes in big bottles in the too forceful: it shows itself a malty sweetness combined probably because it’s what I Dark Matter (Hoyne $6-8 range. mildly on the finish of this very with a hoppy bitterness that is got my start on. I still anticipate Brewing): Brewed on Vancouver Blackberry Porter (Cannery drinkable dark ale. Not my perfect for the season. I checked the return of Winter Ale every Island (aka Brewtopia), Brewing): Oh, the beers of BC. favourite of the ones I tried, but year, but ever since I discovered Dark Matter is a warm, Cannery Brewing is located definitely a contender. The Other Dress By Sophie Isbister, Life & Style Editor

Guia Bejasa Katie Cauldron Bachelor of Arts English Business Transfer Who is your costume? Who is your costume? “Rainbow Dash from My Little “Chun-Li from Street Fighter.” Pony.”

Why? “Because I liked playing Why? “My daughter gave me the video game when I was a the idea, because I have a lot kid, and thought it would be of rainbow items already and cool to be her.” Rainbow Dash is my favourite My Little Pony.”

Are you like your costume? “Yeah, because Chun-Li’s What does your costume brave so I guess that would be say about you? “That I really me. And she’s Asian, and she like colours and rainbows. likes looking cute.” Definitely! Colours and rainbows. And that I have fun, and that I have no problem Favourite thing about showing half of my ass.” Halloween? “Aside from dressing up, it would be the candy.” Favourite thing about Halloween? “I’m not the only odd one anymore!”

11

Life & Style. Have a fitness tip or recipe to share? Contact the editor at [email protected]

Elliot Chan Opinions Editor [email protected]

Handy help for “The cool thing about it is 2018, so we want to be growing that students pay on a minute as much as possible within those stressed students basis, so nobody has to commit five years so we’re there in 2018 to an hour of tutoring. If you to hopefully change the way Sophie only have a question that can people get tutored,” Kudry says. Isbister be answered in 10 minutes, you In addition to the paid Life & Style only pay for 10 minutes,” says tutoring offered by HelpHub. [email protected] Kudry, adding that tutors can me, there is also a discussion choose how much they charge board where students can ask hen Douglas College for an hour of tutoring. quick questions for free. This is a business student Miguel He tells us that most tutors good way to get to know tutors WKudry was looking for last- currently charge $30 per hour, before committing time and minute help on an assignment but that the site allows them to money to them. You can also and couldn’t find the resources charge up to $200—a number sign in via Facebook, allowing he desired, he didn’t just give that seems really high, but is you to check out your tutors up—no, the entrepreneurial a realistic rate for advanced on the larger social network, student decided to construct tutoring in specialized subjects. adding more credentials to the HelpHub.me, an online tutoring Students can top up their ratings already contained within L&S LISTED marketplace that he says is accounts with any major credit HelpHub.me’s interface. Ten best/worst Puritan names going to change the face of the card, and HelpHub.me takes five About being a young tutoring industry. per cent off of every transaction entrepreneur, Kudry says the Seventeenth century Puritans loved nothing more than to “We connect tutors and to pay for the interface. hardest part is getting started spoil everyone’s fun—that is, unless you were at a baby students over the phone and we HelpHub.me launched in once you have a brilliant idea. naming party. Then they were jumping over themselves to do conference calls,” Kudry told February 2013, and Kudry says “You have the idea, and suggest creepy and decidedly non-names like Pestilence and the Other Press. “Everything’s that the site is growing fast and then you think, ‘Oh that’s Praisegod. Here are some of their 16th century picks that done online. In terms of phone keeping him busy—he is also impossible, I’m not able to do I feel are due for a comeback. While reading these, try to calls, we actually never share attending classes full-time and it,’ but you don’t really know remember that some mother once had to call these kids in for anybody’s phone number.” working full-time. The website until you start doing it,” he says. supper. Kudry explains that all currently has over 750 users, After that, he says, “It all gets a the calls are placed through and they recently launched a little easier… and busier.” the website. Students seeking videoconferencing platform. Kudry tells us that 1. Sorry-for-sin tutoring place a call to the “We allow students to HelpHub.me won’t replace the 2. Fly-fornication tutor of their choice on the site change files in real time, current face-to-face tutoring 3. Humiliation by clicking their profile (they to change drawings, so it’s model, which he approves of can choose tutors based on sort of like an interactive and says has been working 4. Thanks (it’s nice and simple at least!) the tutor’s classes, grades, and whiteboard, integrated with a for hundreds of years. It will 5. Obadiah-bind-their-kings-in-chains-and-their-nobles-in- ratings given by other users), videoconferencing application,” instead offer a different option and then HelpHub.me places a Kudry says. to students. He stresses the irons call to the tutor. The tutor then Kudry is excited to grow convenience of the online 6. Do-good accepts the call, and the calls the website beyond the Lower marketplace: paying by the 7. Creature are merged. This way, students Mainland market, and hopes to minute in an interface that aren’t able to constantly call be in on the ground floor of the we’re already familiar with, 8. Kill-sin tutoring industry, which he says last-minute convenience, and their tutors on their personal 9. Die-well phone lines, which, according to is booming. the ability to stay in your own Kudry, allows tutors to monetize “[The tutoring industry] will home. 10. Fight-the-good-fight-of-faith their spare time. be worth over $100-billion by 14 www.theotherpress.ca Opinions. The test of time Longer life expectancy when I tell you that most There are simply too many it’s critical that we learn to Retirement Services found that millennials aren’t thinking financial burdens, so every take care of ourselves, lest we 62 per cent of 18 to 34-year-olds means less financial about retirement—not because extra year of work adds a become burdens on our family, think $500,000 is enough for they don’t want to, but because buffer to the savings account. If friends, and society. This will their retirement. The consensus stability in the latter years they might not get one. We baby boomers are having such break our fears and reluctance is that number is too low. have been crippled by so many difficulty retiring, what about of taking out the “retirement According to Statistics Canada, Elliot different factors, including the millennials? calculators” and finding out the current annual spending cost Chan increased taxes and cost of I’m not saying that we how many dreadful zeros we’ll of a couple over 65 is $51,000, Opinions Editor living, disappearing pensions, should call for a crisis or have need in order to survive. but for an enjoyable retirement [email protected] high educational debt, and a the government hold our hands Retirement funds aren’t they’ll need as much as $60,000 a year. The price will undoubtedly or those still in their roaring increase for us. F20s, let’s think longterm Don’t act so surprise when I tell you that most millennials aren’t thinking about It might seem completely for a moment—say, 40 years bleak at the moment, but allow from now. The world has retirement, not because they don’t want to, but because they might not get one. us to go back to the short-term; changed and so have you. You we’re still young and we have have a family, a mortgage, car full control of our lives. We’re payments, a stable job, ailing packed with potential and parents, credit card debt, competitive job market. At this through this lifelong ordeal, a problem we millennials can opportunities are still knocking. medical bills, and multiple point, it’s hard to imagine life but what would benefit us is solve now. What we can do is If we don’t want to be eating other financial responsibilities as a 40-year-old, let alone a a bit of systematic assistance. stay the course, and even if there peanut butter and jelly everyday to worry about, yet retirement 70-year-old. I suggest a mandatory test aren’t any implemented tests to in our old age, we can change is around the corner. You ask It’s rare to see people every decade to help with the assess our stability, we can still that. Now is the time to get the yourself, “Am I ready for it? hang up their work clothes at retirement mathematics. The test manage that ourselves. Don’t upper hand. Rainy days and Have I saved enough? Or will 55 nowadays. According to would examine multiple factors, waste your youth worrying, debts are inevitable, but hey, the next 20 years be as gruelling Statistics Canada, the average including financial stability, but it never hurts to consider there’s a silver lining to those as the first?” retirement age in 2011 was 63.2 health, and family status. the necessities of your long life. looming golden years. Don’t act so surprised for men and 61.4 for women. Although privacy is important, A survey done by Pentegra What’s on tap?

Quit your “wine- than not, I just want to be unaware of their snobbery, financially responsible and go because they’re ing”—it’s just beer for the “Honda Civic“ Molson blinded by their Canadian or “H&M” Kokanee. passion. That Elliot On average, booze prices way most music Chan in BC are some of the highest snobs think only Opinions Editor in Canada, and it isn’t even alternative music [email protected] worth comparing to our is relevant? Beer neighbours down south. snobs feel the ine drinkers are Whether the government same way about often associated with decided to tax alcohol so beer. distinguishedW sophistication— heavily to help funding or Instead of and a bit of pretentiousness. to discourage drinking is being snobby At one point or another, irrelevant—the point is that if about others’ we have heard a wine snob we want to enjoy a beverage, choices, beer complaining about Merlot’s it’s going to cost us. snobs/aficionados dry taste, or how they can’t The truth is, I’m a beer- should share their tolerate the sweetness of lover and I enjoy the fancy knowledge and Chardonnay. Well, it looks craft beers and microbrews as explain why they made like alcohol snobbery affects much as any other enthusiast, the premier or the more than just wine. Since the but the same way I don’t go unconventional choice. rise in craft beer’s popularity, and have a medium-rare steak Be generous and offer beer snobs have taken the at The Keg every night, I don’t others a sip. judgmental reins in house splurge on the “la-dee-da” The diversity parties, bars, and poker tables imports every time I order a of beer is all across the country—and drink, either. Whatever is on astounding and they need to put a cork in it. tap will be just fine for me. it shouldn’t Ever since I acquired the After all, I’m on a student be a solitary taste for beer, it has been my budget. I don’t need you to exploration. go-to choice at most social remind me about that. So stop Not everybody events. There’s a simplicity acting so high and mighty— can afford to be to beer drinking. You don’t it’s just a drink. adventurous need to mix, or shoot, or Some people consider every time they anything like that—whatever drinking a bad habit; go out, so be is in the glass, bottle, or can I consider it a relaxing respectful. After is good to go. Sure, there way to pass the time with all, good beer are fancy choices, like the friends. Snobbery and unfair doesn’t equal “Rolls-Royce” Wild Rose, or judgment, on the other hand, I good times, but the “Louis Vuitton” La Fin do consider a bad habit. Truth good friends Du Monde; but more often is, beer snobs are usually do. Cheers.

15 Opinions. Need to vent? Contact the editor at [email protected] War of the Words: The right to bear religious symbols

Unconstitutional and from the ban, and, of course, women being coerced into the giant crucifix that adorns wearing their religious garbs, unconscionable Quebec’s legislative building. then banning them is not the The Canadian Charter solution. Do they seriously Sophie of Rights and Freedoms also think that taking away the Isbister covers multiculturalism. livelihood (jobs) of women Life & Style Section 27 states, “This Charter who are in coercive marriages [email protected] shall be interpreted in a will do any good? Taking away manner consistent with the the rights of Islamic-Canadian Everyone has the following preservation and enhancement women to hold jobs in civil fundamental freedoms: freedom of the multicultural heritage services because of the customs of conscience and religion. – The of Canadians.” What that line of their religion is harmful Canadian Charter of Rights and does is entrench values of and dangerous. And it’s un- Freedoms multiculturalism in every aspect Canadian. of the charter. It’s why Canada is I’m proud to be Canadian. he above quote is from such a desirable place for people I’m proud that we’ve opened up Section Two of the to emigrate to, and the fact that the gates of our country to other CanadianT Charter of Rights we’re the only country to have cultures, and that we peacefully and Freedoms: a constitutional multiculturalism entrenched coexist. I agree with secularism document ratified in 1982 that in our constitution makes most in government, but ahead of grants political rights and civil Canadians proud. that, I believe in personal choice, freedoms to all Canadians. Except, apparently, the Parti especially personal choice in Given that, it’s unclear to me Québécois and the proponents manners of dress, and with why Quebec’s Parti Québécois of their rogue charter—a regard to already entrenched feels as though those same document which can only be constitutional law. rights shouldn’t extend to civil viewed as racist. The issue of religious servants. Some argue for the charter artifacts on civil servants isn’t Their proposed Quebec on the grounds that such a question of whether cultural charter of values seeks to religious dress makes them artefacts are attractive or even directly override aspects of the uncomfortable, but the largest important. It comes down to Canadian Charter by calling argument in favour is that this simple question: do you for the ban of religious dress on articles of clothing like the hijab want to fundamentally suppress civil servants in the province. are oppressive to women and the cultural rights of people This would include all forms that Canada shouldn’t allow who are proud to call Canada of dress worn by Quebec’s such oppression to take place in their home? Quebec’s charter not-insignificant Islamic their public, tax-funded spaces. of values tells real Canadians community, such as the hijab, Arguments along this line that all they are is their religious niqab, or turban, and also the ignore the fact that freedom for garbs. It tells them that we don’t Jewish kippa. Small artifacts like women is about choice. want them here. And that is discreet jewellery will be exempt If Quebec’s feminists are simply not true. seriously concerned about

Attire, accessory, and What I do want to express Commonality is the point; bring everyone together, commonality is harmful; that is a social commonality. That a mutual understanding is where everyone feels welcome, it will cause us to lose our attitude don’t change doesn’t mean tolerance or the point. If you entered an and where no animosity is heritage and roots, but I believe intolerance, or being anti- or Asian person’s home, you displayed. This is a good thing. it’ll help us to understand our your religion pro- anything; it simply means a would graciously take off your And this is the first step towards history better. Why do we do culture we can all agree upon. shoes. That’s a custom and an having a province that really certain things “just because”? Elliot For example, my father is understanding. Your shoes are understands itself. It might feel Commonality allows us to Chan a smoker. When the regulation clean and it doesn’t hurt anyone ruthless, but in generations to question our traditions, habits, Opinions Editor passed to have smoking banned for you to keep them on, yet you come, you’ll see that it’ll bring ethics, and values and ask the [email protected] in public areas, he became a do it out of respect. them closer together. ultimate question: are we doing monster and he’s not—he’s just Canada has an ambiguous I worked at Starbucks the right thing? Am I actually ow does one practice their a dude trying to relax. People culture. It’s more of a mosaic for over a year and I had to less of a person—less myself—if Hreligion? Do they practice who wear religious articles than a mixing pot, and different wear a green apron. I wasn’t I go without certain things? in their house, church, temple, Does it benefit the hive and not or cathedral—or could they do just the honeybee? it while commuting to work? We might think that commonality is harmful; that it will cause us to lose our All through life, I have Surely they don’t practice at mistaken my wants with my work, right? Of course I’m heritage and roots, but I believe it’ll help us to understand our history better. needs. I get my priorities mixed talking about Quebec’s charter up, and I feel many others of values and how, if it passes, have as well in regards to this civil servants will no longer aren’t monsters either, they’re communities have different thrilled, because green isn’t religious symbols debate. Your be allowed to wear religious simply expressing their faith conventions. That’s great, that my colour. But I was under ideals don’t have to change, articles of clothing including and practicing a tradition that should be cherished, and people Starbucks’ roof, I was being your personality doesn’t have turbans, kippas, and overt they’ve known since they were should be delighted that we paid Starbucks’ money, and the to change, and if it helps the crucifixes. young. It upsets some, but so have such diverse communities. Starbucks customers recognized general population approach Religion has played a large does a bit of cigarette smoke. But we need commonality the standards—that was how civil servants with ease, I don’t role in my life, and it’s not my “Suck it up,” some smokers as well to help establish a they knew I worked there. It see why they shouldn’t appeal intention to argue against it. I’m said initially—the same thing general culture as our cities, didn’t make me who I was, it to them. After all, have a little not against religion. In fact, I those advocating religious provinces, and country didn’t change my beliefs that faith. wish I had faith. Sadly, although symbols in public sectors are continues to grow. The mindset capitalism is just another form of I was brought up as a Buddhist, saying now. “It’s not harming of Quebec isn’t to alienate. slavery, but I accepted it because I cannot honestly call myself anybody.” Instead, they’re trying to that was the corporate culture. one. Harm is not the point. develop a central place to We might think that 16 www.theotherpress.ca Opinions. Superhero movie consistency

The quest for peace Action sci-fi blockbusters are couple of movies. It usually raking in the dough. means we have to experience Cazzy It sometimes seems like completely different actors, Lewchuk nothing will stop comic book villains, and general plots every Staff Writer movies from dominating the box time a new Superman or Spider- office for years to come—but Man flick comes out. Sometimes that simply isn’t true. The latest it’s a sequel, sometimes it’s ack when I was a kid, we superhero movies’ characters, a kind of sequel that ignores didn’t have good superhero settings, and continuity are previous film developments, Bmovies; we certainly didn’t have causing confusion. In addition, and sometimes it’s a complete mega-blockbuster franchises studio rights ensure that movies remake. Why can’t we just have featuring every mainstream will remain separate for years to consistent movie experiences? superhero. When we were lucky, come. We know Superman’s origin we got a bad Spider-Man sequel Take, for example, the story. We know Wolverine is a or something like Daredevil, Fantastic Four movies. The badass. Do we really need four featuring Ben Affleck as a blind original came out in 2005. It movies to repeat that fact? lawyer/vigilante. The movies was okay, and another mediocre Can’t we have Spider- were rare, the special effects sequel was spawned in 2007. Man and Iron Man in the same were small, and whatever the The next year, Iron Man came movie? Hell, I just want to see a adaption was, it had little to do out—a separate universe from Wonder Woman movie—or any with the comic. Fantastic Four, even though movie with a female superhero Around the end of the they fight the same villains in as the lead. I want to see less 2000s, superhero movies started the comics. A reboot/remake confusing plot. I want more getting better. We got classics of Fantastic Four is now in heroes to team up together. like The Dark Knight and Iron the works—but it will be in a If the studios don’t get their Man, and the sequels and separate universe again from shit together, soon there will spin-offs that followed. Now the beloved Avengers’ world. be 10 universes across eight Marvel continues to dominate Confused yet? Most moviegoers franchises and we’ll be too the superhero movie business are. confused to spend anymore with a huge Avengers franchise. This is just one example. money. They just need to learn Whatever your opinion is on Most major superhero movies that we demand something we the quality of such films, the take place in separate universes can understand—and nothing fact remains: kids today have because different studios own starring Ben Affleck. more Halloween costume picks, property for both the Marvel Or perhaps we can see action figures, and explosions on and DC worlds. This wouldn’t a dystopian war sci-fi—that screens than ever. The same goes be so bad if it didn’t mean Ender’s Game could be the start for the Transformers franchise. having to reboot the series every of many copycats. Photo courtesy of www.manic-expression.com Cleavage for a cause?

#Mamming, pinkwashing, York-based ad executives to actually prevent or combat the a complicated cause like about actually getting a coincide with October’s breast disease? cancer up in a pink bow can mammogram. Similarly, I’m and the cancer industry cancer awareness month. This is the issue with make people feel like they’ve sure I’ll see 100 guys growing According to the initiative’s cancer marketing programs: checked “worry about cancer” moustaches for the cause this Sharon Miki, Columnist website, #Mamming is the campaigns like #Mamming, off their to-do list… without month, and all of them will act of laying your (clothed) Movember, and pinkwashing actually having really done feel they’ve done something— boobs on a flat surface—like (i.e. slapping a pink colour anything. but how many will actually ancer is an asshole. a counter, or a bench—or or ribbon on a product and Posting a picture of my raise money for men’s health The Canadian Cancer the body of a person who is branding it as a cancer- breasts online may make me research and treatment? How CSociety estimates that 200 “planking,” to mimic the action awareness product) are feel like I’ve done something many will actually walk their Canadians die from cancer of getting a mammogram. indeed great opportunities to prevent or help treat cancer, moustachioed faces to the every day. Every day! As we doctor for a prostate exam? transition from October’s Posting a picture of my breasts online may make me feel like I’ve done Cancer creeps up out of breast cancer awareness nowhere, it destroys its prey month and into November’s something to prevent or help treat cancer, but all I’ve really done is reminded from the inside out, and it prostate cancer and men’s leaves its victims and the health awareness month (i.e. my friends and followers of my cup size. people who love them feeling Movember), we’re undeniably helpless. It’s this feeling of inundated with pink ribbons, helplessness and the innate moustaches, and other The idea is cute and smart in to remind the public of but all I’ve really done is human urge to do something awareness campaigns to the that it pretty much guarantees cancer’s pervasiveness, but reminded my friends and to stop cancer that has spurred point of awareness gluttony. widespread exposure: who they can also create a false followers of my cup size. countless cancer-based With one particularly faddy doesn’t enjoy pictures of and dangerous sense of #Mamming doesn’t even campaigns to raise awareness new initiative, #Mamming, breasts? In a selfie-obsessed accomplishment. guarantee that I’ve done and money for research in going viral, the question must world, encouraging people to Sure, if these campaigns anything to help myself. I the name of doing something. be raised: are these so-called take cleavage-licious pictures inform and remind individuals could see myself posting a If participating in cancer awareness campaigns actually of themselves and post them of the need to be vigilant in picture of #Mamming on awareness campaigns makes doing any good? on Instagram is a slam dunk— their own preventative health something hilarious (say, a you feel like you’re spreading #Mamming is a breast if exposure is your goal. But with screenings and check- Ronald McDonald statue), the word, great; but be aware cancer awareness campaign what good does posting a ups, then they do serve a laughing at my own ingenuity, that the fight doesn’t end with cooked up by a team of New picture of your boobs do to purpose. However, wrapping and then forgetting completely your tits on the dinner table.

17 Sports. Know the score? Contact the editor at [email protected] Three’s never a crowd

Women’s basketball Chloe Kennedy takes a different approach to leadership. captains selected She remains rather quiet in practice, but when she does Courtnie speak, the team listens. The Martin team counts on Kennedy to be Sports Reporter a leader by example. She works hard and never shows defeat. She bears a more complex oaches often allocate two responsibility, though, as she is leadership positions; one responsible for running all five Cplayer as the captain and the positions on the floor. other as co-captain. However, “Shanice, Dell, and I are the Royals’ women’s basketball always learning when it comes team took a different route, to being captains and I love selecting three. learning with them. Being a The trio of second-year captain means being there for players, Adelia Paul, Chloe anyone on my team that needs Kennedy, and Shanice Fuoco- me. I think this year we have Guy, have inherited the mantle awesome chemistry,” says of leadership from previous Kennedy. captains Amonda Frances and Shanice Fuoco-Guy has Patti Olsen. Early on they were become the team’s additional nervous about the responsibility “sideline coach,” as she has been and were afraid of letting their recovering from injury. She gives teammates down, but as the the team a different perspective preseason progressed it became of the game. The things the team clear why coach Curtis Nelson misses as a whole, she explains chose them. and clarifies. Her wisdom of “Each of these three the game has helped the first- captains’ skill sets complement year players understand the each other extremely well—both complicated offensive sets. on and off the court. With a When she is on the floor, she young team, the coaches felt it gives it her all and demands that was important that our captains her teammates reciprocate. could be an extension of the Photo courtesy of Courtnie Martin The three captains have culture and vision within our proven how well they work program. We all felt that these the team’s motivational speaker. She also stresses the throughout practices, workouts, together as captains and are three players embodied those Paul consistently asks for the importance of staying connected and games. Once we do that, clearly excited to learn and qualities the best. The fact that players’ insight for what they as a young team. The team the results will speak for progress together. With Paul, they had the respect of their think should change. Last year carries seven returning themselves. We have already Kennedy, and Fuoco-Guy teammates just made the choice Paul was very reserved and players—six of whom were faced challenges and adversity, leading the way, the Royals that much easier,” says coach quiet, but says that her main rookies last year. and coming together made those promise to be a cohesive unit Nelson. focus this year is to be vocal “It is important that we situations a little easier,” says both on and off the court. Adelia Paul plays the role of while continuing to grow. always give 100 per cent Paul. Posting up

Men’s basketball team Growing up on the Hildebrandt was recruited ever had. He put in hundreds Sunshine Coast where by “mistake.” One day when of hours over the summer and captains chosen competitive basketball players coach Beausoleil was stopping has really improved, so it would are hardly ever heard of, Baron to get groceries, he decided be nice to see that translate into Courtnie went to Elphinstone Secondary. to walk into a high school his game. We are very similar in Martin Baron’s athletic inspiration basketball game in a Lower how competitive we are so it’s Sports Reporter was his brother, and coming Mainland tournament at King easy to relate to him,” says his to Douglas was a great chance George Secondary. When he fellow captain. for him to move forward in his saw Hildebrandt, he instantly Hildebrandt and Baron oach Denis Beausoleil took basketball career. Baron entered recognized his talent. both express their enthusiasm in a rather unique approach Douglas the same year that After having a rough season seeing the team implement all Cto the 2013-14 men’s basketball coach Beausoleil took the head last year, Hildebrandt was that they have worked for as the season, allowing the players to coaching position. The two built determined to turn the tables season begins. choose both of their captains. In a strong bond and have carried around. He decided in the off “Drew does a really good the end, guards Andrew Baron it through the last two seasons. season he wanted to change job helping me and being on the and Kristian Hildebrandt were “The team chose the his game, and proceeded to same page in terms of where we selected. With a young group, Photo courtesy of Courtnie Martin captains and I think they were dedicate the entire summer to want the team to go. We have a both players are learning that both great choices. Andrew and getting better. [kinda] good cop, bad cop thing in order to be successful, every scoring load against tough I see eye to eye. He is the only “Kristian didn’t get much going on—which is great,” says member of the team has to teams. Kristian is just as hard of player that has played for me of a chance last year, but was Hildebrandt. contribute. a worker. Both of my captains all three years I have been here. selected as co-captain because The two are determined “Andrew is a very hard are there for any of us that need Kristian and I are also always on of his leadership qualities. He that as underdogs, the team has worker and helpful. He’s the them,” says first-year player, the same page and he is a great is very vocal on and off the nowhere to climb but up. guy we look for to take the Elvin Owusu Ansah. guy on and off the court,” says court. Honestly, Kristian is the coach Beausoleil. hardest working teammates I’ve 18 www.theotherpress.ca Sports.

Photo courtesy of Courtnie Martin Courting success

A new season for “[We’re] very young and as well. “We are a lot younger the team coming together, with Beausoleil, before noting that the inexperienced—especially for than last year’s team but we’re even negatives having silver defence needs some work. men’s basketball our league. But there are a few getting to a place now where linings. “We had three older Baron’s comments echo guys coming in as rookies and we’re really working hard. If we guys foul out and the rookies Beausoleil’s sentiments. “Our Eric a few returners who have the can just improve every single stepped up and actually came success will depend upon Wilkins ability to put up big numbers,” week and execute the way that back late to tie the game on a our ability to get stops on the Sports Editor comments Andrew Baron, one we want to I think we’ll be buzzer beater. It was good for defensive end.” [email protected] of the team’s captains. happy.” them to get that experience And if everything clicks, Fellow captain Kristian After a preseason that early,” says Baron, describing the sky is the limit for this ast season, the men’s Hildebrandt also concedes that saw the team go winless, some a game against Multnomah squad. “Expectations are to basketball team finished the team is a little green. “We might question any optimism University. make playoffs, to improve every Lfourth at Provincials after a loss single week and if we do that to Quest in the bronze medal we’ll have a shot at Nationals. game. That finish capped off an “Scoring. We can score. We barely have any structured offense in place and we Nationals is the team goal which 8-13 season that saw four Royals can really score. There’s several games we’ve touched over 100 points. Our points I think is a stretch goal. It’s not (Dustin Egelstad, Harpreet unrealistic but it’s something Randhawa, Mark Dabrowski, per possession is very high. Scoring is not an issue.” — Coach Denis Beausoleil that we’re working towards,” and Devan Haynes) finish in says Beausoleil. the top 10 of various statistical Hildebrandt leaves off categories. A decent year by are quite young so there’s a for the year, but the quality of While the team may be with a warning for the rest most standards. lot of learning on the fly… we the team’s opponents was a bit young and still settling in, of the league: “A lot of other But that was last year. This all make mistakes and learn higher than usual—as evidenced there’s one thing they’ve gotten teams have us written off and year’s squad hopes to do even together.” He adds, “We are a by several games against US down already: “Scoring. We underestimate us… which is better. really tight-knit group already. colleges. can score. We barely have any a big mistake. In this league, Gone are Egelstad, Talent-wise, the rookies are “We purposely played structured offence in place and any team can win on any given Randhawa, Dabrowski, and stepping up early and playing really hard teams to get tougher we can really score. There’s night. I don’t step on the court Haynes. To fill the void, the well, and the returning players and get experience playing several games we’ve touched with the attitude of ‘I am going team has brought in seven are playing well also.” against better players,” explains over 100 points. Our points per to lose this game.’ I step on rookies to compete with the six Coach Denis Beausoleil is Hildebrandt. possession is very high. Scoring the court to win, and my team returning players. feeling good about the team The trip was invaluable to is not an issue,” remarks coach shares that hunger.” 19 Sports. Know the score? Contact the editor at [email protected] United? Alex Ferguson’s As for the famous boot incident, the free kick autobiography raises specialist cheekily revisited his initial comment with an, some eyebrows “Apparently they [dressing room tales] do [come out].” Eric Wilkins Hargreaves was a little Sports Editor more direct, commenting, [email protected] “For it [our relationship] to deteriorate like that was very lex Ferguson is a disappointing and I think it’s a Aman who needs little conversation he and I need to introduction. The now retired have personally.” Scotsman will forever be And he raises a valid, remembered as one of the if idealistic, point: why go finest managers the game has public when you can settle ever seen. With 38 trophies things behind closed doors? over his 26 years with Why try and mar someone’s Manchester United alone, reputation? The answer—as it even City fans have to admit often is—is money. a begrudging respect for him. I get it. I really do. And Ferguson’s recently released everyone probably does. The autobiography, however, may point of writing a book is slightly taint the image many to make money. The way to have painted of him. make money is to get people’s It’s always interesting attention. The easy way to get to read these books when in the spotlight is to strike up they come out. It’s typically a controversy or bring up old person’s last desperate grasp rows. Ferguson has done both at fame. I’ve always viewed of these and his book is selling Ferguson as someone above faster than umbrellas in a pithy attacks. Someone who Sir Alex Ferguson | Photo courtesy of Tom Jenkins/The Gaurdian downpour. wouldn’t stoop to the common Is Ferguson still one of the level of exchanging barbs. “David thought he was bigger I signed him there was Beckham responded with, greatest managers the world With a track record like his, than Alex Ferguson. There is something about him I didn’t “I’m not going to sit here and has ever seen? Of course. Has why would it be necessary? no doubt in my mind,” along like. It turned out to be a be negative about a man who my opinion of him dipped? Apparently I thought wrong. with, “The big problem for me disaster.” He also spoke of gave me a chance to play No doubt. Glory glory Man Ferguson openly criticizes is that he married Victoria.” how he questioned the former for my boyhood team, who United? Sir Alex would have key figures in his originally Other criticisms of Beckham Bayern Munich man’s work I always dreamt of playing done well to think less of his named Alex Ferguson: My included his love of a celebrity ethic, and his desire to sue for. He gave me the chance pocketbook on this one. Autobiography, among them lifestyle and essentially Hargreaves after he spoke to do that, he believed in me David Beckham and Owen putting the game second. out about the club’s medical and believed in the rest of the Hargreaves. As for Hargreaves, Sir treatments for him. young lads who came through Of Beckham, he said, Alex remarked, “When Ever the classy one, this with us.” National pride Men’s soccer off to “We knew the first game “It won’t be easy, but we’ve and each other for being so six apiece with multiple others was the important one and put in a lot of work to get back competitive.” contributing a few as well. the big show the boys came out flying,” to this final tournament and I Toor also spoke on the But for all the growth the commented coach Robby Toor, believe this season is our season change the team has undergone. team has gone through this year, Eric before noting that the loss in the to bring it home.” “I think the biggest thing that no one thinks they’re at their Wilkins final wasn’t a huge issue. “They And what work the team we’ve been proud of is the way best yet. Sports Editor knew the ultimate goal of the has put in. With 14 rookies, it’s this team has come together. “’The sky is the limit,’” says [email protected] season was to win a national a little surprising how well this We’ve gone through some Corra, hauling out the time- title and we’ve qualified for confident bunch of Royals has adversity over the course of the tested phrase. eading into the Provincial that.” done. After a bit of a rough start season—ups and downs. I think Coach Toor adds, “I feel Championships (October Sunday (the final) showed a to the year, the team went on to the biggest thing for any team that at Nationals we will show 26-27),H the men’s soccer team lot of great character in the older post an 8-2-4 record en route to is the character they show when that we’ve had yet to peak. And had one main goal in mind: guys and even the rookies. the Picture Province. you’re down. And our boys that’s always been our goal, to qualify for Nationals in New Keeper Marc Mincieli “We had many egos in have always bounced back.” peak at Nationals, not before. Brunswick. A win in the semis expressed some disappointment, week one, however, we’ve all Different from previous We’re going hoping to bring was all the team needed to but was clear that the team straightened out and become Royals squads, this year’s back a gold medal. I definitely get through to Nationals, and knows what the real prize is. the brotherhood that we are edition hasn’t featured one feel that we have the team to get they did just that with a 2-0 “Our spirits are high and we are today,” says Mincieli, who will specific star. Various players the job done.” over the second seed, Langara. going to take the lessons learned be heading into his second have stepped up and done what The Royals have already Although they lost to Thompson and use them as our drive to national tourney as a member was needed of them throughout turned heads this season, but Rivers University in the final on excel in New Brunswick!” of the Royals. “Training this the year—like a true team. the final act promises to be even penalty kicks, the fact remained: Estefan Corra knows the far has been more intense than Case in point, as pointed out better. the Royals were going to journey isn’t over yet, but has ever and we have an all or by Toor, the team doesn’t have Nationals. no reservations about how he nothing mentality going which a double-digit scorer this year; thinks Nationals will play out. we can attribute to our coaches rather, their leading scorers have 20 www.theotherpress.ca Humour.

Talk show host is ‘always like that’ Reports show that production assistant, Josh not a new problem, says Get Finally, he tells us what he’s convenience store. He was the Singh. “He won’t stop giving With It!’s director, Sid Sack: “I giving us and says ‘Everyone is only one who won anything, Orville Jones is that people high-fives. We thought was trying to hold a meeting, going home with a car! You get and then he split his winnings it was nice at first, that he was to discuss some problems with a car, and you get a car, and you with the crew, to be ‘generous.’ I enthusiastic in real life encouraging the crew so much, that day’s show, and Orville get a car!’ Well, most of us broke got a cheque for 1/4 of a penny. but some of them have started to just wouldn’t let me talk. I down crying, ‘cause some of us Merry fucking Christmas, Natalie develop calluses.” mean, he kept introducing me, take the bus into work, and a right?” Serafini The issue of giving high- even though all the employees car would help a lot with that. I The crew speculate that Assistant Editor fives reached a peak when, in already know who I am. He’d mean, who doesn’t want a free Jones may suffer from ADHD. [email protected] the middle of a show, Jones ran say something like, ‘Here he car? So we’re all ecstatic, but the They’re petitioning for him to offstage to praise and high-five is, the man, the legend, the next day, we get a memo saying, get help in the form of narcotics. ources say that Orville Jones, a lighting assistant who was director: Sid Sack! Sid Sack, ‘Unfortunately, due to lack of Clark feels the medication Shost of the popular Get Up doing “just wonderfully, just everybody!’” funds, you will not be getting a is necessary, expressing that, and Get With It!, is as chipper lighting the set to perfection! “He tones it down for the car, and you will not be getting a “He can take a Xanax or he can as he appears. His enthusiasm, Apollo should bow down to show, you know,” adds Sack. car, and you will not be getting a go fuck himself. Those are his which most assumed was an act, you!” Sources say it took the His encouragement and car…’” options. He’s not forcing me to is really what he’s like on a daily crew more than 10 minutes to generosity have started to seem Cameraman Biff Thompson scream in excitement while I do basis—some sources wished to get the host back on track and insincere, as Debbie Clark, agrees that the situation was not his makeup anymore.” emphasize that it’s on a “minute on the stage, at which point he make-up artist, explains: “Last well-planned. “What an asshole, “Really any medication will by minute basis.” stood shouting, “Are you ready? Christmas, he came in and am I right? It would have been do,” says Sack. “Atomoxetine, The crew of Get With It! Are you ready? I can’t hear got us all hyped up. He made better if he just hadn’t told us Xanax, Diazepam, Codeine, seems to be frustrated by the you!” which further held up everyone gather around in we were getting cars at all. anything. I’ve done my incessant enthusiasm. production. front of him and was building Along with the memo, everyone research.” “Orville’s always like Jones shouting up how great these presents he got a lottery ticket—one of those that. It’s just nonstop,” says enthusiastically at the crew is was getting for everyone were. $1 ones that you get from the 21 Humour. Laugh out loud hilarious? Contact the editor at [email protected] ‘Womb selfies’ become new scientific discovery

‘Every baby has the Twitter users. Further, the newborn tweets offer a glimpse ability to take selfies,’ into recently postnatal life. “Hopefully, these experts say tweets will give as a better understanding as to how the Livia babies react once outside the Turnbull Humour Editor womb,” says Kinden. “But [email protected] right now, all the babies seem to be doing is taking photos of themselves and bragging. We all new trend is developing thought you had to be at least 12 A among the prenatal crowd. years old to start doing that.” For years, researchers thought Pro-life advocates have that the womb was the only latched onto this new evidence place where people were that fetuses are capable of immune to vanity. However, a posing for ultrasounds and that new study shows that fetuses newborns develop so rapidly are just as narcissistic as in terms of tweeting ability, the average teenager with a asserting that it further shows smartphone. the personhood of fetuses. “Well, we didn’t know that “You can’t kill a baby, fetuses liked to pose for their It’s almost no different than a ultrasound photo. They seem to person. Give it a smartphone be making duck faces, which is and it is a person,” says something we didn’t know they Samantha DeBrille, a pro-life had the capacity to do,” says Dr. advocate. “Babies are smart. Kinden, an obstetrician at Royal That’s why they shouldn’t Columbian Hospital. die. They’re just smart people This discovery was soon tweeting on smartphones—no followed by the revelation that different from you or I, even if newborn babies seem to have they are in utero.“ question is, how on Earth did #YOLO.” Although the newborns’ the ability to make rudimentary This new scientific they learn to hashtag so fast?” Another newborn’s tweet tweets often lack thought or tweets. discovery may cause some An average newborn tweet reads, “Why can’t my mom play development, the babies are “We’ve been gathering data major changes to Canada’s laws reads as follows: “Yo, check this some Zeppelin instead of that clearly not far from showing from the tweets these newborns about abortion. are sending,” says Kinden. “The out, I’m MALE BITCHES!!!!! Mozart crap? #FML.” the same proficiency as adult

By Joel McCarthy, Graphics Manager

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsgWUq0fdKk

This ‘80s karaoke classic will never be the same after you watch this video. A comedy gold mine replaces the lyrics of the original song with a descriptive video track that explains what is going on in this over-produced music video. It is surprisingly hilarious.

22 www.theotherpress.ca Humour.

New Westminster police under investigation Drugs accidentally that instead of getting simple (RCH) throughout the day. It poses a huge risk and they Constable Arnold Smith. grape-flavoured lollipops, a wasn’t just students though: likely experienced some form of The value of the LSD pops distributed on Halloween few hundred children received one teacher at Glenbrook madness.” that were handed out was close grape-flavoured LSD lollipops. Middle School had confiscated Unfortunately, children to $150,000. Some of the youth by police force Local schools and hospitals a suspected LSD lollipop and who ate the lollipops say they who ingested the pops are reported dozens of children decided to test to see if it was consumed whole pieces of the shocked to hear that drugs are Aidan showing up while experiencing in fact one of the tainted pops. candy. so valuable. Mouellic Staff Writer the effects of the psychedelic It was, and students had to call New Westminster police “I had no idea I was drug that was present in their for help when his lesson became are keeping mostly quiet on the ingesting such a fancy candy!” lollipops. Mary Lancaster, increasingly bizarre. issue, but are saying that the reports an anonymous student principal at Lord Tweedsmuir, Staff at RCH reported no problem likely arose when a from Glenbrook Middle. “If I n Halloween, candy is what said that “Too many children serious injuries or longterm drug enforcement officer seized had known, I would have sold it Ochildren are after, but an showed up tripping balls! I damages for those who ingested a package and left it on his desk and bought myself a new bike!” incident on Halloween has left thought it was a prank at first, the candy, but they did say that instead of in the lock-up. The Parents and police are still the New Westminster Police but when one child thought that the amount of LSD found in a police force is apologizing for investigating the incident and Department and local residents a unicorn really was about to tested sample was immense. its drug distribution, but also hope to have more answers scratching their heads. stab him… that’s when I called Dr. Paul Dauhl believes that believe that the issue has been soon. Police are in damage Every year during 911.” “These lollipops were likely blown out of proportion. control and parents appear to Halloween, New Westminster Ambulances arrived concentrated LSD that was “No matter how you look be out for blood; the individuals police hand out candy from the and groups of students from supposed to be broken up and at it, we are keeping the profits who ingested the pops seem to Columbia Street precinct. This various schools were taken divided to others. One person of hard drugs out of the hands be glad that the giant attacking year was no different, except to Royal Columbian Hospital ingesting a whole lollipop of dangerous criminals,” says unicorns are finally gone. 23