University Register

UNIVERSITY REGISTER

:Oflobi!r3I,1991 WHAT GHOSTS IN HFA? PAGE 6 Diabetes I LAY OFF IOWA Causes Death COUGARS LOSE TO MICHIGAN TECH PAGE 12 P.3 A SUNDAY TO REMEMBER AT UMM PAGE 14 Twins become World Series Champions! Wade West in traditional reverse position. Their had done it once again. filled college studenis. anonymous voice. The crowd, as Managing Editor thighs soaked with peroration they What followed lhe game was a "As soon as lhe ball landed, I had one, ran all-out to Indy hall to find rubbed off of their palms with each festival of untamed excitement Ii so much energy," said Chris Muell- nobody outside. The doors were Bouoni of the ninth, runners on pitch. The Twins retired the Braves started wiih a few Gay hall residents erleile. 'It was so awesome to see opened, and Ihe first of three resi­ ihe comers, Iwo outs. The in short order. running up and down the stairs. them take it all." dence halls was stormed. People ran pitch., .strike ihree. The final game The bases were loaded in the After about twenty minutes of lo all floors, yelling, screaming, of the 1991 World Series went into bottom of lhe tenth. Up lo bat, pinch up its windows to the familiar sound imcontroUed primal screaming and blowing horns, and let everybody js. There hitting for Chili Davis was Gene of Queen's"We Will Rock You." Al general noisemaking, the energy know, withotita doubt that the Twins Laririn. With one swing of lhe bat, it lhat point, the front yard of Gay hall turned its focus. were the world champs. edge of their seals, rally caps affixed was all over. The Minnesola Twins filled wiih screaming, adrenelirie- "Let's go io Indy "all]," yelledan In the chaos, the fire alarm was pulled, and people went scurrying in fire alarm drill mode. Al lhat point, the rally resumed iisoriginal venue in from of Gay hail. Pine hall, Blakely hall, and Spooner hall also were stormed in lhe course of the nighL Blakely hall and Spooner hall also had their fire alarms pulled. ' 'I didn' t mind the crowd coining intothe hall "commented Jill Hakes, Spooner hall's Residence Director. "Bul when the fire alarm got pulled, that's where I have to draw the line. We stood out in lhe cold for over an

Twins to p. 9 Fatal accident claims 2 lives Becky Huseth Asst. News Edilor

A fatal accident occured early Sunday morning killing both the driver and ihe passenger. Near Ihe junction of liiitliway/iy and 2K, an '85 Ford ran off the road and hit several trucks parked in the lot. The accident happened around midnight police reports stale but was nol discovered until 7 o'clock on Sunday morning Oct. 27. Both Photo by Wade West Ihc driver Charles Harkcom and his passenger Christopher Bijold. After the Twins viciory over the Braves on Sunday nighl sco outside to celebrate. Many students both twenty-two, were of New began throwing toilet paper to show their joviality and bliss. Brighton, MN. Computer restructure changed Sign costly 1to University Pamela Hanson lhe Twin Cities campus into one a privale company like MSCI. An­ Andy .Jopling way signs, for $ 13,50 per stjuaro Staff Reporter central service. By doing so, the other area of concern was making Staff Reporter foot A sign i project estimated an eventual an­ such drastic changes within only si*i!isiisiiioniion«lai.iovi..i*'tns!<1 Lasl week University adminis­ nual savings of $2,500,000. The two months. Others were opposed Lwi spring the University of have cost the twit institutions trators canceled the plan to consol­ plan included restructuring and re­ to a private company because of its idate lhe Twin Cities campus' organizing all six computer services inexperience, limited funding, and versify of Minnesota West Cen­ lUtH'h* computer corners with Minnesola at the University in the Twin Cities iis profit-motivated business. tral F.ijicririK.rjt»tiori Station itl- . University of Minnesota, Supercomputer Center, Inc., by Jan. 1,1991. The new plan is to merge lhe slallrxlarte-w sign on highway 59. Minns mphiiiTKire Milie '&>:m (MSCI), due to bitter opposition Although a consolidation was computing units into a central unit ihe sign ... - ft across • said."Th.n..: of that. 10 SUXK) from employees and rjasaccord be­ highly favored, the takeover of the within the University. To execute its base, ii i Is 14 feet tall and sc!mhfrship.i amid h«ve t.ieen tween academic and administra­ privately owned MSCI was vigor­ imar- tun wide law JTF-^I given (wiili that, money]." tive officials. ously opposed. The proposal was be hired for about $1,000 or more. Bd '•'.• ".••••. • •• Ciuna-Uor. Dawd, Mmua Senior vice president for aca­ criticized for its lack of consulta­ Some employees felt this would be pcrvisor of Plant Services, Peter said,"The sign mm-. Hi s Univer­ demic affairs, Jim Infante, talked tion which resulted in many upset unnecessary, but were assured that Oir. . sity ol Mirmerjoia's weid mark with computer service employees employees. It was a lough week for iheir advice would be sought by the fV aw otfl ihe l»o utsoitt- •' standard.'' A ..University, jxilicv on Oct. 22 announcing that the plan employees who felt they had no new consul lam. By the end of the dims i?Aft i.t\t each or; ihuJ UTUJ ic. < l. • n n erar. -jf n >. control over the possible loss of week an exlemal consultant will be to merge wilh MSCI had been J. - ---.Il ..,,1; lahrero -ai-l ' IU* »(.n ».:» iheir jobs. Arxording to employ­ appointed lo advice the University BruccOlswia'irit Mnw«#i '•(.-•Nil-. K.distil*Ovd) ..l-nu ees, they supported a consolida­ on the process. Hifihway tVpaftnivw "-wi the • •• ' ' ' ' '..'.•:.•: ' . •: :• '• tion but objected to the takeover of ttMfT Ul.".1>ft.••!-'--• Ish Man 3 The University Register NEWS SPECTRUM

investigated by the Minnesota Department of Human Rights.

International Federal jail welcomed UrWERSlTV REGISTER Minnesota legal workers welcome lhe proposal lo build a prison in fcditor-in -Chief Flames almost capped downtown Minneapolis. The federal government spends millions each Bill Ristow year to shuffle prisoners around Minnesota because of a lack of jail space. Managing Editor The new prison would be a 500 bed facility. The last of the oil wells lhat have been burning in Kuwait since Wade Wesl February are close to being capped. A dale has not been announced yet, Business Manager butoilminisiers from several nations including ihose in die Gulf areawill New emphasis on state's rights Wendy Wyffels be invited to an international celebration. Advertising Managers After nearly a century of being neglected, lawyers are now looking John Weide Riot in Albania closer al lhe stale's Bill of Rights, Broader liberties are granied in the Jennifer Wendler state's Bill of Rights lhan in the Uniied States Constitution. These rights Circulation Manager have been accepted by lhe Minnesola Supreme Court in several recent In Shkodra. Albania, a mob of nearly 2,000 people raided a ware­ Chris Schanus cases. Renewed interest in slate constitutions has become a national trend house. Aid had been sent to Albania lhe week before and people ihere News Editor in the past five years. were frustrated that it had not been distributed. Cory Wagner Sports Editor Yugoslav army attacks Croatia Bob McCarthy Arts & Entertainment Editor The last remaining strongholds in Croatia were attacked Saturday by All U need to know Mike Berndl Yugoslavian troops. Croatia had declared its independence June 25 and Variety Editor since then nearly 1,000 people have been killed in the civil war that Pamela Hanson Nalhan Brandt erupted. Croatians have been fighting the federal army and ethnic Seih Staff Reporter Feature Editor rebels. Siacy Nichols A project started in 1989 has been a big slep toward helping non- Head Photographer English speaking people in the Twin Cities. Universily researchers and Julie Jost local health-center officials designed a training program for interpreters. Asst. Photographer This program helps mainly Chinese and Vietnamese people understand Matt Kind medical and mental-health terms Ihrough lhe aid of an interpreter who National ? Cartoonists speaks that native tongue. About 60 interpreters have received training Mike Berndt i skills and medical terminology. Jason Jaglo Life and death Rick Masters Ram Mehra, a 54-year-old Bloomington man is charged with fifth Typist Citizens of Washington stale will be voting this week on whether degree assault and disorderly conduct He allegedly attacked Barb Mary Zabinski terminal people should have the right to request that their doctors kill Tollefson-Senaraih, a University civil service worker as she crossed Asst. Editor ihem. Petitions had been sent around the slate to have Initiative 119, Norihrup Plaza on a winter afternoon in 1990. Five women have also Rachel Brand "Death with Dignity." put on lhe election ballots this fall. Until now, no testified to similar actions by Mehra during the last len years during Asst. Managing Editor preparation for the formal trial. Western counlry has legalized mercy killings and if Washington votes Ling Chan yes, this will show a major change in society's views on life and death. Asst. News Editor A new College and University Financial System will be effective on Becky Huseth Sears drops animals Nov. 1. Designers of the system believe it will better help the Universily Asst. Feature Editor keep Back of money speni. Some who will be working wilh lhe new Carrie Hadler When caught in a battle between hunting lobbyists and an animal system arc worried about the difficulties in leaminga whole new system Copy Editors but hope lhat it will be worth it in the end. rights group. Sears pulled 67,000 stuffed animals from their catalogue. Heather Anderson Protests were made because 8 percent of the proceeds were to go to the Melanie Berg Humane Society of the United Stales, Wildlife Legislative Fund of Plans to merge the University's computing services into a privale Carrie Buck America and the National Ri flc Association are credited with influencing subsidiary of ihe Minnesota Supercomputer Center Inc. were dropped Joel Claseman due to widespread opposition. Computing units will bcmcrgedintoaunii Julie Emerson within the University instead. An external consultant will beappointed Nancy Galatowitsch lo advise the University on ihc process. Judy Kreemer Jackson won't run Jen Myhr Concern for his safety and his family led Jesse Jackson to stay out of VS. Supreme Court Associate Justice Anthony Kennedy was a Steve Nelson the 1992 presidential race. He was quoted as saying that he believed his part of a question-and-answer session at the University Law Center lasl Dan Riley family had received more death i^hrcaismi^mpaignmg for office than any week. He shared his views on the confirmation process for Supreme Mark Shores other because of his involvement in the 1984 and 198S races. Court nominees. Students were also able to ask about his views on the Scott Shrgm confirmation of Clarence Thomas. Faculty Advisor James Gremmels Minnesota This Infc compiled complements of lhe Minnesola Daily. The University Register, Ihe -idam newspaper of the llverslty ol Minnesota, Morris, Racial tension in Hibbing published each week during J academic year. The opinions In efforts to creaie one of the best community college football teams MEdlUM herein expressed are those of in the nation, Coach Dale Heffron of Hibbing Community College went Enitor-ir.-CI.iet or opinion to cities such as Chicago and Detroit to recruit players. colu mn i sts and do not necessarl I y reflect the opinions of the student He managed to draw 26 black alhletes lo Hibbing. Racial tension in body, stall, faculty, or the community however, is leading someof lhe players to make plans to administration of the University leave lhe school shortly after the football season. Incidents such as the MEAT of Minnesola, Morris. alleged refusal of a restaurant owner to serve a black sludeni are being The University Register nes letters from SOPFfEME i be u r 300 and must be accompa-nied by the author's name. Published letters may be edited for length, 2C% OFF $8 99 good taste and other is. Letters mustbereceived f-n-f exfjfifj nou 30,9i by Tuesday at 3:00 p.m. before The .^» \ Thursday publication. The University Register is located in the basement ol the HJIMUHJ 6a6 a.m.m.. .,-1,1 „„,p.m. . HOT STUFF. Minority Resource Center (Old Pi77fi Hniirs: Music Hall), Telephone (612) Upper Level ™,. City Center Mall OPEN 1 la.m.-1p.m. 589-6078. © 1991 The Universily Register ,™ 8-8 Mon.-Fri. Thai November 30,1991 4:30p.m.-10p.m. October31,1991 Diabetes causes deaths Caldicott to speak on Diabetes campaign will also be ts the re ,;j vol- environmentalism implemented in November to alert uniary heallh organization sup­ more than 9.5 million households porting diabetes research and edu­ dicott has been my inspiration to Every 52 minutes, another lo take the Diabetes Risk Test. cation. The mission of the ADA is speak out" M innesotan is d iagnosed as having Neighborhood volunteers will re­ lo prevent andcurediabetes.andto The presentation, lo be held in diabetes, the disease that leads to quest donations from households i mprove the well-being ofal l people Dr. Helen Caldicoit, an Austra- ihe P.E. Center on the UMM mote lhan 2,700 deaths in the stale to raise $6 million for local and affccied by diabetes. Volunteers i\ij-mrjediatrician,wtllspeakat8:15 campus, is free and open to the each year. While the number of national research and education. from 21 chapters across Minnesota p.m. Tuesday, Nov. 5. public. The event is sponsored by newly diagnosed diabetics may Diabetes is lhe fourth leading work to accomplish this mission Her presentation, titled "Envi­ the Concert and Variety Enter­ seem discouraging, the American cause of death by disease in the ihrough education and support ronmentalism, Global Harmony tainment (C. A. V £.) Commiuee of Diabetes Association, Minnesola United Stated, and accounts for programs, and activities io raise and Citizen Action," is part of the lhe Campus Activities Council. funds for research efforts. Affiliate, Inc. (ADA-MM) is actu­ over $350 million in health care 1991-92 Inquiry convocation se­ There will also be Inquiry dis­ ally laking steps to increase thai costs each year in Minnesola II is For more information about ries. Dr. Caldicott is on the Board cussions, 9 and 11 a.m., Wednes­ number, and appro* imately 125,00 a disease in which ihe body does diabetes or for free copies of the of Directors for Beyond Was and day, Nov. 6. Inquiry convocations of ihese people do not know they not produce or respond to insulin, a Diabetes Risk Test, contact Ihe the Video Project, lhe largest dis- serve the m ission of the University have ihe disease righl now. hoimone needed in daily life. The American Diabetes Association, tributor of films and v ideotapes on of Minnesota by bringing promi­ During November, National resulting high blood sugar can Minnesota Affiliate at 612-593- Ihe environment, security issues, nent and informed individuals and Diabetes Month, the ADA-MN is severly damage the heart, blood 5333. global cooperation and citizen in­ groups to UMM and inviting the participation in two nationwide vessels, kidneys, eyes and nerves. volvement She is presently work­ public to attend these informal If left untreated, diabetes can lead ing on her third book, "1 f You Love programs to identify and help some The warning signs of gatherings for interaction on the of ihose 125,000 Minnesotans who to premature death. It is the most This Planet." Her prescription to lopics with these guests. common cause of kidney disease, diabetes are as follow: save lhe planet revolves around are presently at risk fordevelopin g The Inquiry program is an in- forcing thousand of Americans to two home remedies: love and will, such life-threaten ing complications iroduc lion lo ihe li bcral arts process go on dialysis and to undergo kid­ as blindness, heart and kidney Insulin-dependent diabetes at UMM, and it provides lhe cor­ ney transplants. Diabetes is also A fiery speaker, Caldicott is disease, nerve damage and ampu­ (Type I): nerstone lo receiving an education lhe leading cause of blindness and most known for her anti-nuclear tations. at UMM. Taken by all freshmen, il the leading cause of n on-traum atic Frequeni urination accompa- crusade. In 1987 she delivered lhe is designed lo help foster a sense of "Our goal is to inform all Min­ limb amputation. People with dia­ ined by unusual thrist; extreme keynote speech at the In tcmational communi ty among members ofthc nesota^ about the warning signs betes are anywhere fromtw o to six hunger; rapid weight loss with easy Women' s Conference in Moscow. freshman class, to help siudents of diabetes, so those who have some times as likely to be afflicted wilh tiring, weakness and fatigue; irri ta- Also in Moscow, sheaddressed ihc become acquainted with ap­ of the symptoms will call their heart disease and to suffer from a bility; nausea and vomiting. These Peace in Maribus Conference. In proaching a topic from several doctors to get a blood sugar test," stroke. Each year, more than symptoms occur suddenly. See a 1990 she was the keynote speaker, perspectives, and to actively in­ said Sheila Ryan, R.N., C.D.E, 150,000 people die from diabetes doclor immed lately. along with Robert Redford and volve students in communicating Presidentof the ADA-MN. "We're and its complications. Ralph Nader, to 8,000 student en­ vironmentalists at theSEAQCaia- their own ideas. Inquiry provides seeking contributions to fund vitally Non-insulin-dependent diabeles lyst conference at the Uni versi ty of an opportunity to explore lopics imporlant research and education People at high risk for develop­ (TypoII): Illinois in Champagne-Urbana. while working closely with distin­ programs." ing diabetes include: those wilh Blurred vision, tingling or Actress and environmentalist guished University of Minnesola Throughout November, the diabetes in their family; certain numbness in legs, feet or fingers; Meryl S tieep has said, "Helen Cal­ faculiy members and studenis. ADA-MN will encourage Minne- ethnic populations, including Afri­ frequent skin infections or itchy sotans lo lake a simple, eight- can Americans, Hispanics, Asian skin; slow healing of culs and question Diabetes Risk Test, and Americans, and Native Americans, bruises; drowsiness; any ol the pre­ become familiar with the diabetes and, anyone over 30 and over­ viously mentioned signs for Type I warning signs. In addition, a na­ weight. diabetes. Onset of Type II diabetes Opportunity Corner tionwide Neighborhood Check for The American Diabetes Asse­ is often gradual. Many don't real­ Life/Work Planning Work­ a.m. to 2 p.m. in the P.E. Annex. ize they have the disease unlil com­ shop "Networking As A Job Visit with business and govern­ plications are starting to occur. Hunting Strategy" will be held at ment representatives about job 3 p.m. Wednesday, Oct 30, in opportunities in iheir organiza- University Senate Meeting Soc. Sci. 230/236. All workshops Thursday, Oct. 31, 3:00 p.m. ee. Signupinadvanceinthe Sign from p. 1 Career Center. Intemship opportuni Camden Hall Conference Room fy the two campuses," Johnson ceived recently in the Career mentioned lhal quite often the Omi licaionlnforaiatio) Cenier include: The meeting will begin immediately following the two campuses were confused. Fair sponsored by the Northstar Twin Cities Campus Assembly meeting. There will be Johnson said. "Further, driv­ Chapter of the International As- I'.S. Dept. of Stale lion of Business Communi- a telephone conference connection to the proceedings ers speed upon Hwy 59 and as a and unpaid internship in foreign matter of traffic safely a large i will be held on Wednes­ affairs—dcadl i ne for: at UMM. sign was required to give drivers day, November 6 from 3-8 p.m. temships is Nov. 1, Immediately following will be a meeting of the Fac­ plenly of time lo decide which the Murray-Herrick Campus Cenier at the University of St ulty Senate and the Student Senate. direction to lum." Business Incentives, a Twin Thomas. Studentscan visit with Cities corporate travel firm, has a representatives from broadcast, number of unpaid internships publishing, public relations, cor­ available each quarter. An infor­ Calendar of Events porate communications, market­ mational group interview for cur­ ing communications, and olhcr rent opportunities will be held 7,9 p.m. "Rocky Horror Piclure Show," Science Auditorium. communication related fields. Friday, Nov. 15. Tonight 7.8 p.m. Rock Climbing, PE Center, $1.00. More information available in Ihe Career Cenier, The Partnership for Service Voileyball: Valley City State. Hi Center. •;• 7 pm: Learning offers academic study Friday midnight J'R«^ HoriwPic^5rjow,*'&ra^ * UMM Business & Liberal and service opportunities in Ja­ Arts Career Fair will be held on maica, England, Mexico, France University Register training session for all reporters, copy editors, and lpJTJ. Thursday, November 7 from 10 and other countries. Saturday layout staff, all students welcome, bascmeni MRC. MCSA Forum Meeting 12:00 pm •Walefr lhe Vikings lose oncelagaih- '." " : Sunday 6:30 p.m. Monday, November 4 205 Minority Resource Center 4 p.m. Gallery opening Carlolta Corpron photographs. Approval of Minutes V. For Informaiion; MCSA Monday 6:30 p,m. President's Report Research Group Other Reports Project for this year 8.15 p.m. Cwivocarj.i'n-Di Hclkn i "aijuofl' "Environmenuilism, Global Har- Tuesday For Information and VI. For Discussion: The Discussion: The Athtelics Issue at UMM Regeni's Docket— VII. New Business N p.m. "Vinceni and Theo." Science Auditorium. Tuition and Realloca­ VIII. Adjournment Wednesday 7 p.m. Dale Rape Lecture MRC Lounge. tion Issues The University Register EDITORIALS

. -Tho mrraHrim.iintw.ii'jtiii,imniJinfMII.IMIMIHM -^ UNIVERSITY REGISTER Bill Ristow/ Editor in Chief

No more Iowa jokes, please of O:OU/A, uftteTFo This wholesubjeci of Mi nnesoia you. fWi>JK? is the t .[ of ti.' idea. Why don'l we start a pro- Okay, okay, enough already gram in the Minority Resources with the Iowa jokes. Ihappentobe Center for all the non-Minnesotans from the great stale of Iowa (yes. I oncampus? We are a minority. All admit it), and have been gelling of us Iowegians. Cheeseheads, never-ending grief about ii ever Sodaks, Windy Ciders, elc, could since I got here. Here's the latest of sit around Ihinking up whole reper- the, in my opinion, not-so-hilari- toires of Minnesota jokes to dredge ous "lowegian" jokes: Q-What's up any lime we get picked on be- ihe difference between a catfish cause ofourout-of-siate status. and an Iowan woman? A-One's Anolhcr point of contention has slimy and has whiskers, and one's been the Twins. Okay, so I'm not a Fish. HA! (note the hint of as anii-Twinkieas I like to pretend sarcasm there) Don 'tgetme wrong- lo be for reaction's sake, but don't most of this is just good-natured expect me to sit staring at Ihe tele- kidding around, and 1 have pretty vision in open-mouthed awe as thick skin anyway, so I'm definite- Kirby Puckeit sends one sailing lynoihurt Alittleannoyed.may- 408 feet over center field. I realize be, but not hurt Butreally.iflmay that the World Series is a major take the liberty ofspeaking also for event and that winning that homely all the Wisconsoniies out there, trophy is a huge honor, bul to an ihose Cheesehead jokes are only impartial observer, the level of tunny the first 89,987,998 limes hysteria seems to get a little ridic- you hear them. ulous at times. I could swear that I have lo admit, sometimes I do everybody in this entire state is a enjoy the reactions I get from people fanatic fan and has been eating, when I tell them where I'm from, breathingandsleepingbaseballfor really do like il here, llmaybefar because it gives us something to the pasi month. By the way, who from homeforme.and the weaiher LETTERS TO THE EDITOR talk (orfigtit) about, bul when they was the viciory-crazed maniac who may be horrendous, but UMM isa bringilupevcry time Ihey see you, decided lhat the residents of Indy. greatplace, and! 'm glad! didn't go itcangeireallyoldreallyfast. For Pine and Spooner could use some somewhere else. The academic? Where 00 the CcVIS (JO? the way we were treated and dis- all you Minnesotans, try to imag- lireshairaboutmidnighionSunday? are excellent, the food's not thai DearEdiion gusted with the cniirc siluation. ine what il would be like if you Another source ofcon fusion can bad.andthepeoplearesomcofihe Ii's sad irony to see lhat suppos- Wc resent the fact that wc were headed down to southern lowaand be Ihe fact that everyone automat- best anywhere. cdly inte II igen 1 students, professors made to feel as if not receiving our had lo pul up with a tittle reverse icallyassumeseveryoncelseisfrom I probably sound like the big- and administration arc having so paychecks was in some way our discrirninaiion. After all, everyone Minnesola. Some ihings are not gestwhineronthefaceoftheearth much trouble discerning between fault. During a down there knows thai Minnesola quite so obvious to us outsiders. ,vilh ihis 'qui! picking on m recycling containers and garbage required lo justify our need lor is lhe nexi best thing to Antarctica What's the DFL or the IR, for ex- itorial, but I didn't write it just for cans, money lhat was rightfully ours by and that the mosquito is your slate ample? And who's Amie Carlson? me. All the teasing doesn't bother Douglas A. Wandersee explaining our personal spending bird. We may not have a huge I got some incredulous looks on much as I've been implying, habits. Wefacedquestionssuchas metropolis like the Twin Cities, lhat one. I'm sorry, bul I guess but I'd like lo the point Financial Aid "didn't you have a summer job?" buiatleast wedon'thave loputup you'll just have lo forgive me ihc lhat it may offend Officer leaves and "how have you spent your wilh sub-zero temperatures in late c you mention Anoka or Just keep in mind lhat when sour impression summer employment money?" An October. I'll refrain from ex­ r Brainerd and I've something (or some where) you love issue was made about our personal pounding all the other wonderful never heard of it. is insulted, il tends to hit close lo spending habits when in facl ihc virtues of my home state or theo­ Now you're probably asking, home and slick a few daggars in issue was lhat wc had not received rizing on why it might possibly be "If you hale Minnesota so much, your heart. If nothing else, it'll careers we have had lhe privilege payment for our services rendered. belter lhan Minnesota, because it's why'd you come to school here in make you homesick. So next time of working wilh various offices The hostile attitude of the Assistant i [relevant to my point, and I have a the first place?" [Don't misunder- you run across one of us "non- and organizations on campus. Until Direcior of Financial Aid left u dislinct feeling lhat it would be stand my point; I don't hale Min- residents,''lake into consideration recently our experiences with many feeling uncomforable aboul and falling on rather unsympathetic nesoia. It's just dial when you've ihe sensitivity level of the person of these offices has left a favorable angered by a situation that ears. Butremember, next time you grown up somewhere, gone lo whosehomesiaieyouareihinking impression. The -Assistant Direc- decide lo make fun of my "south- school there all your life and left aboul slamming, and I, for one, lor of Admissions and Financial for. em drawl," that maybe your stale everyone you love there, constant will try to keep up my end of Ihe Aid ruined this impression of the This problem occurred lasl year isn'i so perfect, either. Thatnorth- badgering about it, as good-natured bargain by accepting Minnesota OfficeofFinancialAidlwoweeks andcithernothingwasdoneabutil tall that is it may be, tends to get under your for the great slate lhat it 5 taken were obvious- you know. skin after a while.] Actually, I Like many other studeni work- ly ineffective. Next, we feel that it era, we did not receive our first is the responsibility of the Office of paycheck due lo the Office of Fi- Financial Aid lo accommodate nahCial Aid's inability lo process those student workers who have paperwork on time. Asaresult,we been inconvenienced by Financial were denied the money we had Aid's mistake, Letters to the Editor counted on lo pay bills and buy Finally, wc feel that no studeni University Register groceries. Inorrlertoaheviatethis should have to experience an at- Minority Resource Center financial hardship, we were sent to mosphere where they are being put the Office of Financial Aid to re- on trial. We would like to stress University of Minnesota, Morris ceive an emergency loan. The that we are not directing our siaie- Morris, Minnesota 56267 problem lhat occurred was notdue meats towards all the individuals to the missed pay period but instead lhat work at the Financial Aid Of- The University Register welcomes letters from readere.U:ttci^shouMi>,ii!idei 300 wiirilsaiKl must with the eirc wnstances that oc- fice. We want to ensure that no be accompanied by lhe author's name. MlBriiedlDHKflOl^beettriteln^Hld-Vlodiaiieaid curred during our visits. other student will have the same (Xhcr reasons. Letters must be received by Tuesday at 3:00 p.m before Thursday publication. Direct Although we made separate unfriendly and uncomforable ex- questions to S vists, we both had similar expert- perience. ences and left feeling angered by Carey Burditt Ociober 31,1991 OPINIONS Don't judge by extremes lam writing regardinga n Opion birds, the reptiles, Ihc mammals, in lhe October 24th U. Register and every variety of life on the Student Center Needs Names en li tied, "Let Animal Righls Ac­ Earth do. Many of these species tivists Hat D in," I foil nd h i s op in i on have been here far longer than man. rude, narrow minded, bigoted, and Why can'i wc accept people to use the author's own word, hyp­ and their beliefs? We have a tre­ by Kevin Tlmmfn* {'92) and Doug Wandersee ('92), reprinted from U Register ocritical. Ifound the parallel drawn mendous population, diverse The Student Center Commiltee needs your suggestions for names of variou; between animal rights and a ficti­ every way, if one person chooses to tious ' 'vegetable rights"t o be ridic- support animal rights, and another rooms in the new Student Center. Here is your chance to be a part of UMIvt history ulous. People are animals; deer are toopposeit.ihatistheirwill. Why by giving your input and creative Ideas to your Student Center. The Ihree areas animals; but. I'm sorry lo say. let­ must one be forced to eat dirt so lhe which we would like your Ideas on are lhe banquet/ballroom, the cafa and the tuce is not an animal. A head of other won't be annoyed? lounge area adjacent (o the kitchen. The banquet/ballroom will be used for lettuce does not ihink or feel. It's a I would like lo point dances, banquets, concerts, meetings and as student lounge space. The area plain. (Ihope we all learned thisa hypocrisy within the article. The have a hardwood floor and a fireplace. The south side will have large windows to long time ago). author slates lhal he is lhe first catch the southern sun and the ceiling will be vaulted lor good sound transmi- I am a member of Greenpeace, speak out against cruelty to ai sion. The large space can be divided into three separate areas to make better use the World Wildlife Fund, I support mats or needless destruction of of the space. most of what People for the Ethical animal lives. Why Ihen, can' Treatment of Animals (PETA) is have "activists" in support of this? The cafe, formerly called Cougar Cafe, will be about double the size of the doing, and support various olher The author states th atac ti v i sis " i m • old cafe and will have expanded hours and menu. The area will be ideal for small awareness organizations. I also pose their will" on others. Well concerts and meetings. The cafe will have large windows to the north and a raised volunteer at a food shelf at home, I'm sorry sir, but you are imposing ceiling over the main dining area. give blood at the drives, and sup­ your will by the headline of the port Amnesty International. I have article, by stating animal righlsac ­ The lounge next to the kitchen will be primarily used for small luncheons and even considered joining the Peace tivisis should eatdirtand fadeaway. as a lounge area for faculty, staff, and students. There will be large windows on corps afler graduation. 1 believe We all hold righls to our opinions. the west side facing the library. lhat Ihere exisis enough diversity There exist extremists in every in our population lo combat many cause, they serve as attention-get­ The Student Cenier is progressing nicely and should be ready for use by causes, and that only human arro­ ters, as a force lhat startles the 'inter quarter 1992. gance would presume that we live population' into realization. We here upon Ihis Earth with the right see ihis in the Gay righlsmovement , to do whatever we please. The the Women's movement, the En­ majority of animal righls activists vironmentalist movement, the Mi­ .]_ -i.. -i- _i- -i- are not exbemists that throw blood nority rights movement, the Animal on fur coats and break into labora­ rights movement, and many others. IT tories. Nor are ihey suburbanite I believe in freedomo f expression; " yuppie hypocrites. They are the I do not judge a belief by its ex­ Banquet/Ballroom people all around us; Ihey run the tremes. I believe lhal we five in a humane societies, combat poach­ world where awareness is lhe key ing of endangered species, oppose to understanding, to survival, and people who believe they have a 10 lhe future... "right" to this planet more than the I |-yg fc^ &&\ ijiifr Melissa Hosteller Finding hope in a world full of 'losers'

"Why do we so often use 'loser' to talk to our youth about sex, drugs and family mailers..,,?" Iiecentlyheardsomeonemakeihiscommentin adiscussion about role models in society. He was lalkingabout divorced people, drug addicts, prostitutes as being some in a long list often used to tell stories lo local youth. I shudder whenever I hear such talk used, especially when the talk comes out of the church. It seems to me to be a tola! contradiction of lhe Christian Gospel. The feet lhat Jesus prefeired to spend so much of his time wiih the "losers" of society seems to me to be a powerful image of pluralism and diversity as frameworks out of which the church needs to do its mission. The fecitha t God chose to work ihrough Abraham (a liar willing to have his wife commit adultery to save his life), Jacob (a manipulative, self-centered coward), Joseph's jealous brothers, Moses (a murderer) and David (arguably a rapist and murderer) lo name jusia few of the great patriarches of lhe faith, makes me wonder if God doesn't know something profoundly importan t about the role of the "loser" in this creation turned wasteland. What shocks me most are the theological alternatives of most of society. Often people carry a self-righieous double standard of morality Your Official Student Center Room-Naming Scrap o' Paper around in iheir theological knap sac, much like the Pharisee? of Jesus' Please wrile down your creative ideas lor the three areas listed in the above article. HemambBrlo day. It is interesting to note lhat ihose were lhe only people with whom keep your suggestions Rated G and stick to the guidelines stated above. The Student Center Chrisi became harsh. The olhers by and large knil a theological blanket Commiltee will take all submitted suggestions into consideration when deciding on names loi of relativity which allows them to live in their own individualistic, self- is. Please send this scrap o'paper to Ihe Office ol Alumni Helailons. UMM, 312 Behmler Hall, centered, liberal frame of reference where they have no responsibilities is. MN 56267, 10 or for anyone or anything. Your Suggestion for the Cafe lam concerned wilh ihe church of the 1990's. Neither leadership from Your Suggestions for the Lounge the right, with i ts sectarian response to a world in cris is, nor lhat of ihe left, wiih iis secular "everything's cool" attitude seem lo provide much hope Your Suggestions for Banquet/Sallroom _ to 3 world of "losers." The only hope I see is somewhere in the tension The Studeni Center Committee thanks youl is nol found lhe middle, bul at a connecting point somewhere other lhan where weexpect it lobe. Thatpoint historically is grounded in the "Chrisi Event." Ilexists today in a God who never calls uslosers,.,. Hc/Shc knows us better than that! THIS SPACE PAID FOR BY LCM The University Register FEATURE What-Ghosts in HFA?!? UMM haunted?

Mike Berndt struction of HFA. Apparently, two con­ point to make here is that while some Staff Reporter struction workers fell to their deaths but believe the world is as it appears, there are We are on the brink of Halloween, the where and why seems io be a matter of others who believe that another world one nigh t of the year when we can unleash rumor. One worker fell down the hole exists which occasionally slicks its foot our imagination and give life to those through which a spiral staircase now de­ over the line. Is a world-view which hideous forms lurking in our deepest sub­ scends, while the olher was believed to includes ghosts and spirits any less legit­ conscious. Let's not forget thecandy, too. have fallen while constructing a wall at imate than one which is founded on the For whatever reason we look forward the other end of the building. scientific method? I realize Ihis is sim­ to the festival of ghost and goblins it Mosi people don't fear the ghosts as plistic, but many support Ihe former and would nol be complete wiihout a good much as they do the fools who run around are no less happy or wise lhan those sup­ ghost story. Here in a university that ihe HFA basement at night. There has porting the latter. HFA, Vern Malone closed the door and as prides itself on educating sludenls he walked away he heard the to be rational and critical citizens, lock click shut behind him. stories of the supernatural abound. There was no one in the room Perhaps the most enduring tale when he closed up. isthatoftheghosisinHFA. What­ ever twisted intelligence planned During aperformance of the that maze of concrete lunnels and Blithe Spirit, Suzclte Jameson, snaking pipes left us wilh an ideal who was performinglhe role of location for the supernatural. If the spirit, was standing in front you were a tormented spirit com­ of a full length mirror in HFA pelled to flicker between worlds, preparing her make-up. With­ wouldn't you find comfort in a out warning her entire costume building lhat socloselyresemblesa quielly lifted up and then setded mausoleum? The narrow cement as if something had passed catacombs lhat burrow back into ihrough her. ihe earth areideal haunts for spirits, especially considering lhat there is In 1990, John Stocker had a cemetery directly across lhe road. finished working on the Who knows what poltergeists lurk proscenium stage and went to in the shadows of lhat dark comer lum off the slage lights. He you walk by on your way to class turned them off and walked every day? across the room to leave when Everyone has their own opinions suddenly they went on again. about whether or nol spirits reside He walked back lo the light in HFA. Incoming freshmen are switch. It showed lhat the lights told of the spirits as if they were were supposed to be off. matter-of-fact, yet in many cases what spooksmosl people in HFA is Photo by Wubba Wotaz Even I had a strange experi­ related to the unique building de­ Is this the ghost of HFA? Our roving photographer snapped this photo, insisting ence while rehearsing for John sign. afterwards that the apparition disappeared into the wall as he watched. Stocker's direciing project, Actors and audiences in the Grown-ups. We were all sit­ Proscenium Theatre are often spooked by ting on the stage when a spol swaying lights and fluttering curtains, but always been the danger that some will Now that I have set the mood, here are light turned on by itself, shining directly reality tells us that these are due to lhe lake such stories too seriously and think of a few examples of bizarre phenomena that on us. We thought it must be someone in circulating winds that are generated by themselves as ghostbusters hunting about have occurred in the last few years alone. the light boolh playing a joke but we warm ai r rising up into the immense ceil ing in search of spirits. Unfortunately, such Remember, keep an open mind.... checked and no one was there, and ihere above the stage. In facl one professor exploits usually end up in vandalism or was no way down without us being aware slated thai this was how the stories were arrests for trespassing. In the fall of 1986, during lhe produc­ of it. As wc sat looking into an empty started. People like to blame ghosts rather While some attest lhat the only spooky tion of The Menaechmi , Julie Nevil and boolh, the light went out and then on again than convection currents because they things in the building are lhe bais which Ann Ellis were silling in the balcony above several times. aremore appealing. come swooping out of the Proscenium the back entrance to HFA. For whatever However.il wasn't unlil later lhat ihese ceiling during rehearsals and performanc­ reasons they were talking about what it There are numerous theories about strange occurrences were linked lo the es, (sometimes three at a time), others would be like to jump off. Suddenly, spin ts, ghosts, and poltergeists. InCanWe two deaths which occurred in the con- truly believe in the spirits. An important Nevil turned ashly pale and in a voice ExplainthePoltergeist? A.G.Owen poinis three octaves lower than her own she said, out some of the general assumptions thai "it'snotafunfall." It occurredso quickly must be involved either explicitly or un­ and without warning that Nevil was al­ consciously in any theory about paranor­ most unaware of saying it. Apparently, mal phenomena. He divides Ihese as­ Nevil believes she is hypersensitive to sumptions into two supernatural and two paranormal phe natural types. Supernatural ism is a view of reality in which the physical laws are In lhe fall of 1988, Darren Felberg either temporarily s uspended, or overruled reported lhat all of the dressing room by occult intervention. The first, "regular faucets went on simultaneously and wilh supernatural ism," states that while super­ no one else in the room but himself. Ann natural activity does occur, its behavior is Ellis also reported this occurring al vari­ confined to certain orderly patterns. The ous limes while working in the costume Flying Nun is one example. The second, "capricious supernatural- ism." is often associated wilh the "mira­ Rings have skipped out of lockers on to cle" where supernaluralism operates ir­ the floor, costumes hanging on racks have regularly such lhat no one can discover its been gently swept aside as if someone principles. The sudden appearance of were walking by, and lights have flickered God Almighty to lhe Apostle Paul is a and dimmed while olher electrical appli­ good example. Just how would st ances never registered 'any power loss. scientifically explain lhat?

When leaving one of the offices in Ghost to p.7 October 31,1991

Halloween screams with history Ghost from p.6 Naturalism looks to explain para­ normal phenomena through forces natural creatures, / the VigjlofAllSajhisiaimiwedio what the which don't transcend the laws of na­ Rliual.- +'t+uP>b-a ritiuJsi!e at'Ji.vity. M.> M«Cr*U"e ID fugurot ftmumct, tent in their action wiih physical laws I But jtoid tl> umocuma JCDVHKS ne but obey no laws themselves. The \ renietJitier is hidden the Hue history of Hul- Shorn off. iled homes whew occupants would oiler bending of a spoon or the falling of 'dWiVII. ' As the world was in this off-kilter suite tributes of food and drink. Divination books from shelves are normal events HuDuntni L« 'I.* njr.i* i-i Jv .*... , 1 dunnp Sumhnin, n *a< •vln.-.ul tr, Yr, j I-''"- w,Ji.» f but caused by forces which do not obey ^anJiani. j dnudn icMvuion nurUru; titt propitious time for telling ihe frjiurc: Folk customs of divination, such as beginning of winter, its well as the first day 'fheoriguifJiKv-inations.vi.repHiiiheticj. 1VM..1.-. hf «Jf>le. :V*ig...aJ[t, re^-.-.-iJ.i.,; Owen's opinion falls with the of uv i.a va» artttun it.* a-citni t du. made by the ancestral dead, who came up soul-symtols in ihe Cauldron of Kegeneia- "regular naturalism" believing lhat ailtujes of lhe British Isles. According to from Iheirtombs on Halloween, sometimes Uiere are complexities in the laws of Die mmn lunar lalrouW. fc4ival. mo* bringing gifts io the children of fficir living nature and powers of the human mind refehruiedon the eve beiure.a festival rather iJesCendanis, as yet unexplained. Ihan [he day:: Through such omens as apple parings Although wc can deny that there are S;imh,uu i,s,n,m,Vw.'i.;.lhi' Aryan Lord thrown over liie shoulder or nuts diruwn in ghosts in HFA, can we do so with of Death and Conductor of Souls. ihe fire, voting people tried to dciemiijte 1'he elves and fairies dial supposedly absolute certainty? Dowercallyknow Halloween was btdieyed to be a time their mania) prospects. Ii was also .said that !c won Hallo ween led to the familiar pranks. everything under heaven and earth? when iltc world wns overrun by forces of if a girl peels an apple before a mirror on I'oung frisljnn-.il in the 19th century carried For most of us. we know of the other magic Thcee j/aJdit; «f Saruftj* mie Halloween she, would sec an imane of her side of life and death only by our in­ : characterized as is lime when the crucial . future husband in ihe glass, •..- xjfio: tuitions. As Hamlci said,'That undis­ joints'betweeii the seasons opened cracks in Siinihain remained a popular religion covered land from whose bourne no (he fabric of space-lime, allowing contact among Celtic pocples, even alter the Chris- • traveler returns." Even though we can brtKvnilv gh.i« world jml ir.nn.Yttd on.'. OunizaUon of Great Britain; lhe British wilh Irish junj Scollisij settlers, but not ullti view this world and its occurrences as Othem'orld entities; such as the souls of (he church atiempted to divert tisc interest in (Sic m^i.-f. rnj.-min.stv ..f the lrt.ii jjnnc th. entirely submerged in physical laws do (least, were able lo visit eattlily innabiuintx, :'.; • 111 .,•.. •• .,; kjtiii: • . h:isti:in holi.b.v. poutio famine (3845-1746) did Halloween I wc not all have some comer in our anil humans could take ihe opportunity to become a national American holiday I minds where lurks uncertainty, where resides all our fascinations with the spiritual and paranormal? If nol, why is it lhat cemeteries terrify us, ghost * 0 stories spook us. and shadows slill o © d © & linger on the coal-tails of our imagi­ nation. If you have ever had any strange or supernatural experiencesinHFA.write it down and drop it off atfhe University Register office; I always enjoy swap­ ping ghosi stories. Happy Halloween. HALLOWEEN COSTUME CONTEST!) £3 THISTHURS. and FRI. NIGHT! PRI7FS: 'flWfS'' ,s,: 1 free FBI. stay at Sunuiood plus $10.00 gift certificate 2nd: lunch or Dinner tor 4 at Corral Lounge MET LOUNGE 3rd: $10.00 beueroge gift certificate @ Frontier or Corral Lounge OCT. 01ST ON1.Y:

AM,; Gift Certificates for 1 st, 2nd, and 3rd!! HALLOWEEN COSTUWr- for those who care... EVERY FRIDAY NIGHT is PARTY!! Courage ALCOHOL FREE NIGHTII Prizes for best costume: Cards 18 yrs. old OR College ID! 1 $tl S20.00 cert. Diamond Supper Club THE NEW 2nd: SIS.OO cert. Diamond Supper Club FREE catalog! 3rd: H0.00 cert. Diamond Supper Club 1-800-852-9452 24 houn Enjoy DJ and comic: (612) 520-0201 Twin Cite inaMSft /-p COURAGE NIGHT CLUB STEUE RECUSE 9p.m. - la.m. VS. CENTER OPEN: TH.F,SOT. »9p.m.- 1DS CHECKED!' THURS: BUCK NIGHTS 26 East 6th St. 589-4611 The University Regisier ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT Are you prepared for The Rocky Horror Picture Show?

loose a number of purity points a good idea to become familiar and performs an activity. These trying to gel to the bottom of the Dr, wiih the songs. activities aredancing the Tune warp A cull classic. The Rocky Hor­ Frankinfener problem. Eventual­ The next task is to dress up in (don't worry, Ihey give instructions As fans of The Rocky Horror ror Picture Show, has been seen in ly the nightcomes to a rather bizarre costume, as one of the characters, in the song), clapping during the Picture Show excitedly dig through theaters aroundlhe United States at end. as does the end of the movie. and act out certain scenes with the rest periods, and running around their piles of old clothes, relieve midnight for the last decade and a The movie is filled wilh sexual movie. This of course lakes prior the theater in a circle during the restrooms of their toilet paper, and half. Rocky Horror is not a movie innuendos, bul ihere is almost no knowledge ofthefilm.butyoucan chaseseen. When the image on lhe grab lhe latest issue of The Uni­ lositand watch.because in actuali ty swearing, and one two-second al- stmcoiuemcrjstume. screen starts to spin lhe audience versity Register, the Campus Ac­ ii isn't a very good movie, it's a nude part besides lhat it's up The nextare the items one brings pretends to help it, and when the tivities CouncD wants io alen stu­ movie that requires an active audi­ dents to a few resrrfctions. ence. Once an active audience is No, you cannot bring in that 30 then is slill n. lbs bag of rice you've been saving very good, bul it is amazingly fun for ihe wedding of that second (why do you think it's survived n on your mother's side. CAC fifteen years of constant weekly will be selling packets of rice and showings). Here is a brief synopsis toast for a quarter. You can also of lhe movie: bring in your own toilet paper and Brad and Janet get engaged, newspapers, but water guns cannol and on their fateful Sunday drive exceed 6 inches. This means no they are caught wilh a flat tire on a flaunting your 8 inciters. dark and stormy night. Going to The Meiningans will be pre­ the lone dark house on lhe hill. senting a short introductory pre­ Brad and Janet are greeted at the sentation to inform first-time door by the butler and the maid. viewers and get audiences primed Brad andJanetare ushered into lhe for the film. They will inform lhe house only to be forced to do the audience what to say at different time warp (a dance) with a variety parts and what actions to perform of obnoxiously dressed house and ihey will sil in the audiences guests. The pradish Janet, and the and prompt everyone when to "manly" Brad are then greeted by to the audience lo spice up the along such as: rice, newspaper, image comes to a screeching halt participate. the infamous Dr. Frankinferter movie as they see fit; and here's toast, a flashlight, loiletpaper and a so does the audience. Anumberof First-time viewers beware! You (Tim Curry) a trans vestile from [he how to do just that veiy task. squirt gun. Each is used at certain olhcr silly gesoues are also a part of can expect io be hit by a barrage of transsexual planet Transylvania. Normally, a number of com­ parts of the movie, and for movie the audience participation unusual projectiles. During the Then comes lime for the great un­ ments are yelled al specific places etiquette, use them only at those The movie sounds silly, but if virgin sacrifise scene new-comers veiling of the nights project. Dr. during the movie, but since I don't parts (that means not squirting everyone pitches in, the movie is will be dragged out of Iheir scats Frankinferter has made lhe perfect remember ihem all, and I don't someone wilh your water gun when hysterically fun. Onecanbefool- and r»ought to ihe frontwher e they man. The heavily sexually over- have forty pages, you're out of luck. your noi supposed to). Find ishly belligerent and gel away wilh will be initiated into the Rocky tuned plot thickens when Dr. Be creative. If you can find an someone who has seen the film to it, and by doing it with everyone Horror family. No, you will not be Frank in ferter's first experiment album wilh some of lhe commenis explain the uses foralloftheabove, else you make a lot of friends. paddled or shaved, but you can comes back from the ice box recorded (they are ou I ihere) g ive it it would take far too long to write. Have a good time, I did, otherwise expect to be the center of "ring (played by Meailoaf). From here alisten. Even if you have thesound Fourthly, there are times in the I wouldn' t have seen i t over twenty around the virgins." the far loo innocent Brad and Janet track with only the songs, il is slill movie when one gels out of the seal UMM Student Hiflh.ightl Nyman directs the latest Morris High School production Top 10 for Halloween Mike Ik'rndt 5 la IT Reporter For those of you who, like mc, have nothing lo do on Halloween besides eating lhat putrid trick-or-treal candy we bought for the neigh­ For Ihe majority of sludenls, borhood children because we were too cheap to buy any quality choco­ what we leam in our classes seems lates, I have compiled a list of the 10 best horror movies of all time. Since worlds away from whatever career I'm an avid fan of Mr. Nicholson it should come as no suprise which wchopetoekeoutoflhejob market, movie I rate as number 1. All the rest follow in declining quality. In lust admire those who have judging them I took into account ihe originality of their horror, their found the opportunity to use the effectiveness, andthe over-all quality of the film, in other words, were skills they've acquired al UMM in they able to keep the viewer's attention without heaping on theguts, gore the field of their choosing. and bare-chested women. Melissa Nyman is a senior ma­ 1. The Shining starring Jack Nicholson joring in engl ish and speech-theater 2. Exorcist III starring George C. Scott for secondary education. She is 3. Silence of the Lambs starring Jodie Foster currently directing a theater pro­ 4. Aliens starring Sigomey Weaver duction for the Morris High School 5. An American Werewolf in London and getting a head start on her 6. Exorcist I leaching career. 1. Poltergeist I Melissa has been involved in H. Friday the nth part I theaier every quarter since her 9. Evil Dead freshman year and last year she 10. Halloween I starring Jamie Lee Curtis directed the UMM Children's These films will supplyplenty of nightmarematerial and f« lite most Show, King Patch and Mr. Simp­ pan they won't lum your stomach as much as those peanut butter chews. kins. Over the summer Melissa received a call fromth e high school principal. He wanted her (o direct a theater show and after negotiations Melissa agreed. R She is directing ihree one-acts a which will be combined into a full iwo-hour performance. The first Photo by Matt Kind show, Juvie, by Jerome McDon- Melissa Nyman goesovera scene during one o!the rehears­ ough takes place in a juvenial de- UNIVERSITY REGISTER als for the upoming Morris High School Production. The ion cell where several teenag- show goes up on November 21,22, and 23 at 7:30. interact and tell stories about October 31.1991 CAC gets the hump Manhattan Tap gives a great show with another bomb compleily without music, carrying alive and tapping in their set the audience through an ad venture Brown also takes time to i Jill Nordtand and gives him water, Quasimodo S huffle-ball-change, of changing tempo, style and mood. to the audience, inducing giggles Beth Schumacher falls in love with her. Complica­ Guesl Writers flap-heel dig. Their facial expression ranges from and groans alike Iron his liulejokes. tions arise when the judge, jealous Perhaps it was in rememberence deadpan "poker faces" lo toothy "We've been performing a lot of On Friday October 25 and of Esmerelda's love for Phoebus, of childhood dance lessons, or the pins, and [heir vocalized' 'zip-berr- benifits," heq uips, "We performed Sunday Ociober 27, Morris stu­ kills the captain and flees leaving nostalgia of old black-and-white bops" elicit light laughter from ihe at a mental institution... they dents had lhe opportunity lo view Esmerelda lo be blamed and im­ dance movies; for whatever reason, crazy aboul us!" "The Hunchback of Notre Dame", prisoned for the murder. She is about lo be hung when Quasimo­ jazz-lap troupe Manhattan Tap left Styles move from the laid-back For those audience members a black and while filmclas s ic based do, in a heroic acl, swoops down audience members fiappinf and "Eddie's S ounds" to the fast-paced worried about missing the World on lhe novel by Victor Hugo. The film, setin Renaissance Paris, opens from lhe bell lower (on a conve­ lapping in the halls of Morris High "Hallelujah," where dancer Shel- Series, Brown paused for a mes­ niently placed rope) and grabs Es­ School last Saturday. sage: "Incidentally, the score is 3- wilh a scene portraying two main characters, the King of France and merelda from the scaffold. Then Man hatien Tapconsists of three 2, in favor of the Twins." Cheers a nobleman judge, debating [he defying the taws of physics they 7. musicians and three tap dancers A special treat is rang throughout the auditorium. usefulness of a new invention, the swing back up to the bell tower. (plus a special guest) who combine the performance of The show culminates with printing press. More characters are live music and itiythmic dance. While G rcgoire attempts to free "Blues for Heaiher," a boogie tune introduced in the Fool's Day Fes­ his wife Ihrough published appeals The program starts with a "band James "Buster" that perfecdy displays Ihe highly tival. Maureen O'liara plays Es- io the King and lo Ihe public, the ie." as the musicians lay a individualized styles of each merelda, a beautiful gypsy girl who thieves plot io storm Notre Dame. foundation of cool jazz to set the Brown, a re­ dancer. Theperformance ends wilh dances for the crowd, capturing the Meanwhile, the judge confesses . Although there were a few Ihe same clean, classy style hearts of the judge and a young nowned tapper his guilt lo the King and rushes off problems with the bass mike, bassist begins wilh. poet, Gregoire. Tony Scheir smoothly entered a Manhattan Tap, with its tuxedo- io kill Esmerelda. After single- beauirful Bourbon Street bass solo. ley Oliver mimicks die rhyihm of clad musicians and classily i When the guards discover that handedly Fighting off the storming David Leonheart's fingers danced [he acoustic bass. Perhaps the most turned dancers, emulates a Esmerelda is a gypsy, and therefore thieves, Quasimodo saves Es­ along the piano keys, bringing the offbeat style is "Chair-O-Kee," formal character weli-suiied lo [he unwelcome in Paris, she runs lo the merelda from ihe clutches of the audience into full attenuveness for where the dancers tip-lap while music and dance performed. Al­ Notre Dame Cathedral for sanctu­ insane judge. Choosing his love the coming tap routines. seated in chairs. though a wider, more profound ary. While praying to the Virgin for the gypsy over devotion to his variety of tap styles would be nice Mary for die safely of her people, master (it was the judge who first The lap show starts wilh A special treat is lhe perfor­ brought the hunchback to the 'Scrapple." The routine begins mance of James "Buster" Brown, a ti > sec (perhaps even a latin number), she displays her pure and honest [he subtle style used by the troupe heart. The King overhears her church as a child), the hunchback wiihout music, allowing the audi­ renowned tapper who has been catapults the judge off the tower. ta hear the intricate detail of performing since lhe 1930's. His belter encompesses the cool jazz prayer and, in setting the conditions "feel". for a postive denounment, says he Esmerelda and Gregoire ride off Man hat ten Tap's scuffs, shuffles renditions of "Tea for Two" and into the sunset whi Ie Quasimodo is and steps. The band later joins in to Count Basic's "Que" keep theau- might help her people. The judge Undeniably, Manhatten Tap then tries to bring Esmerelda to the left lo fester in his miserable ex­ perfectly blend lhe rhythm, melo­ dience wondering just how many puts on an excellent show for istence with his only friends, the dy and harmony of the music and lap sounds he makes per minute. bell lower where she can slay, but anyone who enjoys lhe cclickety- she flees upon meeting lhe deaf, gargoyles. The addition of pelvic thrusts and clack of lap dancing. hip movements keep the audience hunchbacked bell ringer, Quasi­ "Rhyihm Suite" is performed S huffle-riff-heel-step. modo {performed by Charles Although the film is considered Laughton). The judge sends a classic, the plot was quite unoe- Quasimodo into the night to retrieve lievable and the dialogue raiher her. Awakened by Esmerelda's contrived. Furthermore, despite its screams. Gregoire alerts the guards tragic intentions, many ofthe scenes who pursue the hunchback and came across as humorous. capture him. Esmerelda falls in The film did have many love wilh her handsome rescuer, strengths. It effectively portrayed Phoebus, lhe captain of the guards. lhe culture of sixteenth century France by featuring their supersti­ After the excitement, Esmerel­ tious beliefs about w itchcrafI, the ir da and Gregoire find them sci ves in faith in trial by ordeal, and the the hideout of the thieves' guild animosity between lhe nobles and where Esm erelda i s welcomed and lhe commoners. Although unbe­ Gregoire is ostracized. To save lievable, the film hadagood pace, Gregoire from cenain death, Es­ an interes ling plot, and much action, merelda agrees to marry him. All of lhe major aclors gave con­ Continued from 8 lakes placeatahighschoolreunion vincing performances, despite a The next day, Quasimodo is INvins from p. 1 weakscripi. Overall,theaudience ihemsel ves. The show explores the where everyone reminisces about whipped and publically ridiculed seemed pleased wilh lhe film, but fears, misunderstandings, and the "good old days" and what for abducting the young gypsy. not as a tragedy but rather a good judgments of society and indi vidu- happened to the guy they used to The cost of pulling the fire alarm When Esmerelda pities lhe comedv. was $500 per hall, which will be wounded and bound bell rineer The second show, an adapta- The cast consists of students covered by the damage deposits of from 7th ihrough 12th grade, lhe residents. The amount will cover Melissa holds rehearsals after the cost of resetting ihc fire alarm Thisshow will give school and every evening, some­ circuits, and the cost of the fire de­ the student an times she spends over 15 hours a partment's call to the three halls. week in rehearsal lime alone. GRADY'S opportunity to Other damages that incurred on What impressed Melissa most campus were lhe blowing out of allof express some of about working wiih high school the sidewalk lights around the halls the joys and studenis was the enthusiasm they and ihe malls, lhe breakage of ropes On Atlantic had for their characters and the put up around the new sod, and the 410 Atlantic Ave. 589-3290 frustration of being competence ihey displayed in ana­ front of Gay hall was transformed young lyzing difficult scenes. She feels into a toilet paper mess. Under NEW Management!! that high school studenis are often Campus Security is currently lion of Shirley Jackson's The Lot­ underestimated, which is a theme conducting an investigation into the ***DA1LY SPECIALS*** tery by Braierd Duffield, centers expressed in ihe show. She hopes party or parties responsible for Ihe SUNDAY: Free Pool 2-6 p.m. around an annual lown lottery, Ihe lhat ihis show will give lhe students an orjoortuniiy to express some of MONDAY: Happy Hour 7-10 p.m. winner of which gets stoned lo couldbefiled include tampering with TUESDAY: 120Z. Tap Deer $.65 7-11 p.m. lhe joys and frustrations of being death. In [his show, communily a firealar m and vandalism to univer­ WEDNESDAY: LADIES' NIGHT - $.30 off any young. customs and traditions arecritically sity property for the lights and the drink 8-12 p.m. evaluated. trees, both are misdemeanors. Aside THURSDAY: PITCHER NIGHT 8-1 2 p.m. Melissa plans to teach english FRI0AY: 2 for 1 Deers or Well Drinks 5-11 p.i Carl, by Jack Williams is ihe and speech on a secondary educa­ from the fines which the charges SATURDAY: Happy Hour 5-9 p.m. final show in the series. Written by tion level, and direct shows. Dur­ cany, restitution will also be chained an english teacher from Wasceca, ing winterquartershe will be doing to any who are convicted. COME CHECK US OUT!! it deals directly with ihe concerns her student teaching in England. The University Register

The U-90 Women's issues to Alternative TOP 15

1. Red Hot Chili Pepers be addressed 2. Nirvana Women's Resource Center 3. U2 News Release 4. The Orb 5. Smithereens Victimization of women is most prevalent in everday life. Sexist 6. Harry Conick Jr. mments, jokes (e.g. the blonde jokes), advertising—all display wt 7. Pixies stereotypical and negative light. 8. Murphy's Law The UMM Women's Resource Center, and olher egalitarian in 9. Fudge Tunnel ns, are trying to heighten awareness in this fight for equality. This 10. Soiindgarden quarter the theme is "Victimization of Women." A series of lectures 11. MC 900 FT Jesus dealing with this lopic is being offered. 12. Prince The first lecture, Nov. 6, is on "Personal Safely," with Mary Jo 13. Fugazi Sandretski. She will discuss actions and attitudes thai woman can t 14. Dinosaur Jr. help keep themselves safe. 15. Erasure The second lecture, Nov. 13, features speaker Terry Garoutte on *f his week" oh'the" "Abusive Relationships." On Nov.20,a video narrated by Jean Kilboumeu'tled "Still Killing Us 1991-92 Cougar *U-90 Alternative Sofiiy," dei^iling advertising's portrayal of women, will be shown. A I Thiirs. 10-31 The Back l\ discussion, led by Mimi Frenier, will follow. •Back Album Attack 8-10P.M. A11 three lee tines are located in lhe Minori ty Resource Cen ter Lounge, Basketball \ METALLICA (self-titled) 7 p.m. All campus women and men are encouraged and inviied lo • NYMPHS (self-tilled) • Tues. 11-5 ThePcorman's; The UMM Women's Resource Center is located in the basement of Broadcast Schedule ^Concert 8-10 P.M. Education, Stopbyand visiL Wehavebooksandinfoihatareavailable • THE REPLACEMENTS lo be checked out All Games sl it 7:30, with prc-game at 7:20. Home games ai CAPS.

Men/Women What's that pain in my head? Tues MANKATO STATE (7:00 game) women KrisRitter Tcnsion headaches ait also asso­ An important factor in ircaling Mori UW- STOUT men S.H.QP. ciated with depression. If you have headaches involves finding oul what Tues St. SCHOLASTICA men recurring headaches accompanied by type of headache you have. For most Fri UM-DULUTH women "Not tonight, I have a headache.'' people's toision headaches, aspirin, Sat al Northern State men Everyone has had a headache at argy, insomnia, and suicidal lhoughts acetaminophen (Tylenol), arid ibu- Tues MOORHEAD STATE one time or another, and obviously you may be experiencing clinical de­ profen(Advil,Nuprin) arcalleffec­ at Winona Stale women they can get in ihe way of studying, pression. tive in relieving heartache pain. For MOORHEAD STATE men socializing, and even sleeping. But A more severe type of headache is infrequent migraines, codeine (which 1-22 NORTHERN STATE women while they can cause the same pob- the migraine. Caused by dilation of can be obtained by prescription) may 1-24 at UM-Duluth men blood vessels in [be head, migraines reduce symptoms, bul frequent mi­ 1-25 at Be mid, i State men are exiremely painful headaches that graines may call for sjjecialized med- 1-28 at Moorhead State women There are three main types of usually attad. OIK-side of tlie head. Il Tlwr at Southwest Stale men headaches: mu.icle-coninn:tit.n, vas­ usually begins wilh an aura or hazy There are also many non-drug Tues NORTHERN STATE men cular, andorganic, which are relatedu > light that mlerferes wilh vision and is treatments which can be effective in at Moorhead State men c4herr*obfcnis. "Thetypeihatprob­ replaced by alhrobbing headache that dealing with headaches. 2-12 at Northern State women ably affects college students lhe most can lastupto 18 hours. Migraines tend Anyihing lhat soothes constricted 2-14 UM-DULUTH men often is temuscle-connactionor ten- muscles such as hot or cold pads, hot 2-15 BEMIDJI STATE men sionheadachs. Itiranbebroughionby baths, and massaging tense muscles 2-18 SOUTHWEST STATE women stress, exhaustion, or even repressed Foolball players, joggers, or other may relieve tensim headaches. Mi­ 2-19 at Winona Stale men graine sufferers havealso been able lo head and neck lo contract putting by exertion headaches, which may be reduce pain by running cold waiff painful pressure on nerves and Wood caused by an abrupt dilation orcon- over their heads, which caistricts vessels. PaXTsMigpcsancandbad strictioncftloodvessels. Thesehead- blood vessels.or running hands under hot water (not hot enough to bum!) lighting can also lead to muscle strain aches usually go away wiih rest. Q9S Welcomes and headache. If you wondered why which causes blood town to thehands. relieving pressure in the head. your head hurt when you were cram- that advertising would lead us to be­ ming all night for a testslouche d over lieve. Congestion and swelling may If you experience sudden onset of GEAR DADDIES your desk wiih one lamp en, you touch off a headache, bul are almost a severeheadachc itis importantlo see probably had a tension headache. doclor rightaway .

"This folk-rock quartet plays wilh electric intensily." Minneapolis Star Tribune

with special guests MILE ONE & Ugly Stick

Saturday, Nov. 2 8:00 pm Alex Nemzek Reldhouse Moorhead State University, Moorhead, MN.

$6 In advance $9 at the door (NO checks accepied at the door) UMM Students get your advance tickets at the UMM Sludent Activities Office.

Sponsored by Campus Activities Board & Proton Productions October 31,1991

TABLE MODEL TELEVISION University of Minnesota, Morris Parents' (Day

Hurry - Sale ends Nov. 2! Saturday, 9{pvem6er 16, 1991

Parents' Day Schedule of Events

Recilal Halt HFA Plus great savings on all other UMM Paculty and Staff liberal Vice C..;mccllorh.r simian table models 1'rtp.i.vs You tor .ni. worn ? $ • Hell-. Cirlsmi "Ucyond -'I ittinW- Wl.yli.KiMir^L'.i Save 20- 100 • Dr. Nancy Girpciuer "tvr Orchestral Slrings Socicly; FREE! a..]lL'ii.l.u.,iiidC.ii.i.ii,id<-i-i1 • Dr. f.-il R.illnT.Cr.ini "SIR- Nipper dog with any RCA Table Model purchase! Con sum pi. on* ID) I'rui'esMDiial Food Scrvii KiciilH-S:ud..].l Tamil Disn ManaEcmcnl; •-Sludc Universily Relations d !,)• L.r | m(R v_ • O.rjH.rliinirii^ tjcvimd: Studying / 01 UMM" coordinated by'liMiius McKdlitTls • "Life in Ihc Residence Halls''

Reception served in Ihc HFA Lobby, Studeni Visit with faculty and stall. f Optional Activities 10: SO • 1:30 p.m. Campus Tours available T. SO p.m. • Jree ofC'mrgi Inquire st tin %tgislmtion -Desk. GA*ftE.: tUtntdBtt - Xpteft 10: JO • 1: SO p.m. Sludeni CenlerTours Available Cnannina, WJA •SscitdJiail [n^aifctyUuatito-Dtii, HtstdtrstidOA 11: 00-4: SO p.m UMM 'Ha^sU'ic Open .;,,r(> |m/. ,f Harris MORRIS RADIO & TV Commmiiiij Services •JSuiWna It: 00-4:30 pm. Art Qalknj Open ftemmtus fbu Arts Center tWA)

For mor information contact: Deb Scheibel 589-3773 Catherine Baker 589-4372 Please complete the below questionaire and return it to The University Register, 10 MRC. Thank you! Do you read The University Register weekly?

Are you a faculty member, staff member, student or other?

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Additional comments: The University Register SPORTS Cougars lose big to Michigan Tech and had an excellent day returning Staff Reporter kick-offs. The defense had a rough outing On an overcast, drizzling, 37 on [his afternoon. Due lo lhe injury degree Saturday afternoon in io Mart: Denn, Dan "Cowboy" Michigan, the Cougs took on ihe S uuxness, who usually plays inside H uskies of Michigan Tech and lost linebacker, had to replace Denn on 46-14. the line. This gave ShaneKeehl his This was another frustrating first collegiate start al linebacker. game foriheCougs. Going inio the Keehl look advantage of ihe situ­ game, the Cougs felt confident due ation and came up with his first lo Iheir rcccni history of success interception of his career to help against the Huskies. stop a crucial Huskie drive. Scolt "Peanut" Gonnerman also came The offense would show signs up with his 'annual' interception. of ball movement, but then would Gonnerman's interception led to stall due to a missed assignment or the Cougais first lo uchdown of the mishap. Jason Heitkamp had an­ other good game by completing 20 of 31 passes for 187 yards and a The Cougars will travel to Ab­ touchdown, while rushing for an­ erdeen, South Dakota, lo play other. Heitkamp's touchdowns Northern State University, this came on a 19 yard pass to Allen, Saturday at 1:30 pm. Next home who had nine catches for 101 yards game for lhe Cougars will be on and a touchdown, and on an one Parent's Day, November 9th yard run up the middle. Marc Max against Bemidji Stale. kicked [he two extra points giving "*NOTE: If any of iheCougar lhe Cougs their only points of lhe fans who would like to •.,•'••. tickets for the November 17th Others who had a good game contest againsi Kansas ol Benedict were recievers Dan Dahl, Chris at the Metrodome, sec Mark Fohl Grove, and running back Jeff or any of the foolball players. Ticket n Heilkamp has big day throwing lor a touchdown and then running tor another Hanson. Hanson had a key pass prices are $5 in advance or $7 al the reception which kept a drive going door. Photo Courtesy ot University Relations Volleyball loses to SSU but Notch named All- rebounds to beat Northern Conference as team finishes fifth The University of Minnesota-Morris women's volleyball leam had a slow week, facing only two opponents, Southwest Stale (SSU) and Northern. The Cougars siarted the week with a heme match against Southwest State on October 23, In a match SSU controlled from the onset, the Cougare went down in defeat, three games to one (8-15,5-15,15-6,9- 15). As HeadCoach Sheila Perkins pul it, "We were successful only whenweforced ihem inio poor passing siluations, which we did not do ofien enough to win the maich." hciitf i , nrirr. Club. mil •' ondifioi, ili • i 'i. ill.>vatophontore Having good games for ihe Cougars were Stacy Rust and Katy Fragodt who had 14 and 11 kills til a 54 hole .store of 235. This piaee-;! NoU.ii i.fjji respectively. Nancy Zierden also turned in a strong performance wilh 83 good sets in 85 attempts. ; liiiii io the Ail-Conference Team. On Tuesday, October 29, the Cougars traveled to Aberdeen, Souih Dakola to lake on Northern a-*rt 'l«cfiS^9n.LZi),Gri i(Sotirjiit,;4: :J#roc University. In amaich the Cougars were favored in, UMM won the match three games to none (15-13, t 1 mv-u Reisig, 26S; and Mi.se Yi. ircr, "2J(6. 15-1,15-8). KariSi*uxni^i^agnMtmateh,ccmmgoffofi*ebench The junior varsity had a big weekend, holding the JV/JC Halloween Invitational. This invitational iSwiahaUi.t,,. consisted of six learns with each leam playing everyone once. .g Winona State's i ISM '..'.• ii. The Cougars opened the weekend against Concordia College with a lost in two straight games (8-15, • alii •• u r; op! n isu- lie fee: th ii lb i> 11 has i 8-15). Next, lhe Cougars faced Moorhead Stale in a match in which they had lo come from behind lo win two games to one (3-15.15-8,15-13). j-: and wiih imptowii scurini.., should be moii: Fergus Falls was the Cougars' next opponent. In a hard fought battle, UMM lost the match two tough games lo one (4-15,15-5,8-15). The Cougars once again had to come from behind in iheir defeat of Hibbing Community College two games toone (12-15,16-14,15-11). Thiswasa very impressive win for the Cougars, as Hibbing wenton to win the loumameni. Men's flag football The last opponent for the Cougars was die Universily of Minneso la- Waseca. UMM won easily, beating Waseca in two straight games, winning the maich (15-7,15-1). STANDINGS AS OF OCTOBER Jfi Overall, the Cougars finished the loumameni wilh arceord of three and two.giving them a fourth place 1. (1) Big A I's Country Gunners P-0] fmishinlhetoumamenL Thcfmalstandingsoflheloumameniareasfollows: (l)HibbingCC,(2)Fergus 2. (3) Harvesters of Sorrows (MS Falls CC, (3) Concordia College, (4) UMM, (5) Moorhead Slate, (6) U of M-Waseca. 3. (5) The Franchise [4-11 PlayingforthcJVarc: MichelleWesl,Saar^Heymer,SiephanieAalderk.s,JanetCarver.SaraErickson, 4. (7) 3 & Out [3-2] Karla Doly, Jenny Rodoni, Mary Stark, and Mary Jaehnen. 5. (2) Jamaica VooDoo Posse [2-2] The Cougar varsity leam has a 7:30 home match this Friday, November 1 and would appreciate all of 6. (6) The Mafia H-31 the support Ihey can get. So, go to the match and support a new found winning tradition, as the Cougars 7. (8) TheFighting Rednecks [1-4] play iheir way into the play-offs. 7. (°) Boyz N' the Hood [W] 9. (4) We Got Big Balls [0-5]

SCHEDULE Oct 31 Nov . 3 Nov. 5 Nov. 7 1-3 7-8 1-9 3-7 4-8 6-9 4-5 2-8 2-6 3-6 4-6 5-9 2-7 1-5 October 31. 1991

Thursday, January 25, 1990 • • Me and my sisters went down to the ^ ^ center to play with the disabled kids. You know, to just be with them.

Beth Kerby Troy, Ml

Tuesday, January 23,1990 • • All of us in the class called the old people ^ ^ in our neighborhood to see if they were okay and if they needed anything.

Amy Hoffman Polk, NE What did you do today?

Thursday, December 7, 1989 • •With the help of the police, we cleaned %^ up a park today. Not only litter, but the drug dealers and their drugs, too.

Thelma LaStrapp Houston, TX

Wednesday, December 13, 1989 • •I offered to pay college tuition for the %% eighth grade class if they stayed in school and didn't do drugs.

Ewing Kouffman Kansas City, MO

There are many problems facing every com­ munity in America. But because there are more people than problems, things will get done. All you have to do is something. Do anything. To find out how, call 1 (800) 677-5515,

POINTS OF LIGHT O FOUNDATION DO SOMETHING GOOD. FEEL SOMETHING The Universily Register VARIETY A Sunday to remember at UMM

Kendall Meitxman springs forward and falls back in Chevy Nova ("IK> va," you realize, So after a relatively normal day and accidentally hit; in wearing Columnist daylight savings, or springs back is Spanish for "doesn't run") had I decided to sit back and relax over a heavy grey coat ai and falls forward. I tried opening a decided of her own accord lo spend a copy of my favorite magazine. long hose, knocking him out cold. Well, I guess we all know what daylight savings accountonce. but the winter basking in the parking Nova and Driver, when a dull roar Weirdo. made last Sunday famous. Trial's was told I would need a S400 min­ kx of Larry's Foods. I honestly swelled over the campus, kind of People were hanging oul of right: daylight savings lime. Itwas imum balance. It was the pillow tried to gel il going, bui Larry came like elhanol, except noisier. Eleven w indo ws. screaming and p lay ing a son of the highlight of my week­ that eventually decided it for me, out and told mc to quit hitting the o'clock, Sunday nighl, I thought, cute little game where ihey would end, the chance to go around cam­ because when it hit me I fell back engine with my fists, because I was what on earth could have happened? try to throw each olher out. The pus for a couple of days wondering into the hallway, and sprang (or scaring away customers. I'm not Then I heard "We Are The Cham- streets filled with collegiates, if that was really lhe correct timeon springed) forward to avoid the de­ sure which annoyed him more: the pions" echoing at roughly 136 clowns, barbarians, belly dancers, that clock, or if it had been reset, or risive laughing of the crowd that sound of engine parts clattering to decibels from Spooner and il hit me policemen. Acoupleof men wear­ maybe set wrong... what a blast! had gathered to [hank me for wak­ [he ground or the shrieks emitting like a hard pillow: holy cowl I ing long flowing white robes set up I agreed to meeta friend of mine ing ihem. from my mouth as my knuckles exclaimed. Cougar football must a boolh and tied selling flowers. adhered to the hot metal. But I have won the Division VII national from Blakely Hall al 8:10 in [he The rest of the day was un­ Businessmen cut land deals as ven­ title! morning to go lo church, and eventful , save for having to listen lo dors moved up and down lhe streets, hawking malt cups and cold beer. promptly waltzed into his room at thestoriesofthe people on m y floor Upon my arrival at the luxurious 1 went running out of the hall io 7:10, Central Standard Time. He who have lives and liveihemonihe Clayton A. Gay Residence Hall see a swarm of people throwing Cutthroats and scavengersbegan was quick lo point out my mistake weekend. The permaneni week­ and Counlry Club after church, I toilet paper into the trees. I was to pillage Ihe town, greedily steal­ by Ihro wing a twenty pound pi Ho w end population of the University is tried calling my house, but realized kind of led along by the crowd in a ing precious commodities: TVs, in my direction, which I would usually one; lhat would be me. I that even if 1 turned the megaphone ghasdy parade from hall to hall, VCRs, stereos, laundrymoncy(ihe have thrown back had I nol been was planning on going home this all the way up to len, the farthest it screaming and dancing and singing quarter, you realize, is lhe second occupied trying to remember if one weekend myself, bul my 1978 would cany would be lhe outskirts and whistling and flipping through highest status symbol on campus, of Sauk Centre. Speaking of Sauk the air. 1 was a good fivefee t off the wilh (he highest, ofcourse, being a Centre, what's up with that "re" at ground when cold, hard reality set 1978 Chevy Nova). People in long iheend?Howdoesonepronounee in: dial's funny, I thought. 1 can't flowing bell bottoms with peace Customize your living space. lhat? Do they have a large British even do a cartwheel. I think lhat sips lattoodon them took over the population 1 don't know about? was the point where the firealarms Come to think of it, I did see a Ford started going off, althoug h Ihc siren A staggering guy from my floor Loiry dealership onccwhcnldrove could very well have been lhe disk wandered over lo me. "What a With 3 feu changes your pit can become palace. through the town. ..butldigress. I in my back trying to scrape itself Series, huh?" decided I had best use one of Ihe back inio place. 1 hobbled along Available to build lofts, shelves, cabinets, bars, etc. plethora (read: four) of public with the crowd, which scattered at Good glory! Here I had forgotten phones on lhe ground floor of Gay the sound of the alarm, and slowly all about the Twins, what wilh all Call Bill for info and estimates. 589-2504. Hall, and am tentatively scheduled made it back to my own hall, bruised the excitement over the Cougars. I to be allowed 15 minuiesof phone and battered. was embarrassed to adm itthat 1 had u'mc on November 12of my Junior missed the baseball game, so I ca­ Year, as long as I take the right Rolls of toilet paper were still sually asked him, ever so noncha­ prerequisites, such as Phoning 1110 flying Ihrough the air, along with lant, "So.. .who won?" and Operator Torture 1320H several other smallobjects: knives, (which satisfies anE3,Imightadd). pay phones, a couple of faculty CAFE members. Ithrewarollupmyself, in The Mall Minnesota politics: Something for EUERVONE! I the razor's edge

Chris Schanus claimed that the slate was in seri­ you buy a new vehicle you have to ## ALL NEW!!** Columnist ous trouble and needed a big cash register il wilh Ihc government and boost. Did he drastically increase pay taxes on it. When you pay the Uariety of Foods: i love Minnesota politics. No income tax? NO. Did he pump up laxes on your vehicle, they give Dinners: Mexican / Fish / Etc. where else in the world (excepl for property taxes? NO. Thosemeth- you those nice little suckers to pul Washington D.C.) will you see so ods are much loo obvious, and on the license plate. Then, no matter Salads / Sandwiches few, screwing so many, with such Ame docsn' t need toloscanymore when you paid the taxes, it was a Hamburgers impunity. This sounds rather brash, popularity poinis. So what did he goodfullycar. If you paid the taxes but let mc explain, do lo make money? You'regoing in November, you didn't have lo Upper Level Ame Carlson and his traveling to love this one, because it shows pay laxes again until next Novem­ City Cenier Mall fun show came into office and lhe best ofpolitics in action. When ber. This mcihod makes sense to me. therefore the government had to change it, 1 bought a crock in Ociober and went lo get il regis­ tered. So I went to the vehicle registration place, which, oddly, is called Stevenson's. I thought that it was a department store. But anyway, I lalked to this lady about geuing my truck registered. She told mc 1 would have to pay fitly bucks to get my truck registered and taxed. Okay, fine. She then loldmel would have to payanother fifty bucks when taxes came due again in December. Say what? I though tshe was kidding. Whatever Politics to p. 15 Ociober 31,1991

even know aboul il until I friedl o makes a mess, so the government Check out our NEW sleek, state Politics from p. 14 register my truck. But lhal isn'i the tries to mask everything they do. of the art TANNING SYSTEM! happened to paying your vehicle end of the story. making it seem like a kinder, laxes once and it's good for a full In another low-key money friendlier nation. **bigger tanning space** **tans more efficiently** grubbing scheme, our government There is a recent movement to has accomplished a new low. They lim it lhe n limber of terms an elec ted -,..--. -, *tf^?ff„pi.*;!?s foffi even- all-over tan** Apparently, politics is what happened. areiaxingthcfundsprovidedtoihe public servant can serve. This is Soni.', \FULLSERVICE According lo the new law, you various state administrative and ridiculous, because lhe power is •• Scientific Hair Center pay your vehicle laxes once a year public service departments. If this already in our hands. We have lhe REDKEN on a date that is chosen alphabeti­ doesn't sound ridiculous to you, vote, and with this device, we can 307 Adaniic Ave. 589-4100 cally by your last name. No big consider ihis: State funds come show the government how we feel SALON! deal there. The big deal is that, from the taxes the people of Min­ about Iheir actions. It's our re­ unlike in the past, you must pay the nesota pay every year. Theseidiots sponsibility lo keep track of what full amount of the laxes, no matter in lhe government arc taxing our Ihe government does, for the most whatlimeoflhe year you register a taxes. ArneCarlsonisn'iofftcially pan we fail. Meanwhile, our gov­ vehicle. Ifyourdateiopayiaxesis reducing ihedepariments' budgets. ernment gets further and further December, and you buy a new Thai would draw too much media away from our opinions and beg ins vehicle in November, you'll have attention. Bul, by taxing the funds to act on its own. Grab the reins; to pay full price in November and these departments received, isn't get involved, and vote. then again in December. The stale he in fact reducing their budgets? wants us to pay a full year's taxes It occurs to me that politics has for only one month of use. Whata been honed to a razor sharp preci­ "How come in the thesaurus there gip. And the real kicker is this new sion. Each move our government are four synonyms for discotheque and la w was put ihrough the legislature makes is meant to cut us without wiifisuchalow profile that it didn' t no synonyms for discrimination?" making a mess. Drawing public drawanymediaattention, I didn't to unpopular actions 2" Stacy Nichols Weekly Crossword " WORLD SERIES TIME" By Gerry Frey

ACROSS ^HP' *- •jaB. (I ^ff ^#' ^*W- W9' Taff 5 October birthstone 1 2 a • IU 11 u 9 Perry , ' * 1'4 ' " 13 Missouri Indian tribe P '• 14 California wine valley 1 Capricorn Dec 22-Jan 19 Cancer June2t-Juiv22 15 Bad " 1 ' 16 Recent Dodger Z2 j a " 18 Quote 1 _ success you can achieve. By 19 Eloper's tool concentrating all of your efforts and • 20 Larry, and Curly talents on a goal, you will see. 2» |H '' J2 21 Chemical endings U 1 22 Precedes I Aquarius Ian 20 • Feb 1R "GAMI":Japanese an M I « Leo Mvan.Ai.f22 Imagine yourself a big success wilh 26 Ms. Comaneci a j I power, money and all you could Contrary lo what you think, this is a, I so ask for ai your fingertips. Now dial notaprison. Things could be u you've done that, bring yourself worse. Take a closer look and you 31 Weakest ill back to reality and your present will soon realize thai you aren't in 34 Lawyer's org. I situation. such a bad situation after all. 37 City in France

Vil-gO Ai.t?.3.Sent22 39 Air 40 Locales SI You are the exception to each and Do noi let the future get you 42 Stamp collector's org. every rule. You are the one who feeling down. You can neither 43 Took a siesta 6 Italian town 47 Foot hinges • beats the impossible statistics and predict nor control fate. You must 46 Cheer's Carta 7 Protective garment 49 Ceramic workers achieves the impossible feats. simply relai and lei yourself float 47 Own In Glasgow 8 Hen's job 50 Homer's enchantress Keep up the good work and things inio tomorrow. You cannot hold 48 Relating to birth ontinuf, lo go your way. onto today forever. 9 Detroit Tigers'Fielder and 51 French river 50 Red's locale Others 52 Gullible 54 World War II area Libra Sept J.T - Oct 22 10 Sheep-like 53 Northeast Tel. Co. 57 The White Sox Carlton 11 Little bugs 55 Dentures Plunge into a relaxing weekend Avoid shadowy, dimly lit places 58 Nineties 12 Cheers for Jose Canseco 56 Estimating words 'Ith good friends. Spend time with plenty of spider webs. Only 59 A beetle 13 Capital of Norway 57 Young horse doing what you most like lo do ghosts and goblins lurk in such 61 Mr. Hersheiser 17 Child's direction 60 Region such as watching television, drab environments. Slick to 62 Baseball playoffs, eg 24 Swedish cars 63 Slippery dancing, listening to music, and brighter places! 64 Land measure 25 Devours laughing I 65 With in Paris Scorpit) Q ,2.1.Novr21 27 Everything C 66 Right hand page Taurus Anil 20 - Mav 20 29 Eggs Cupid has pierced your heart. You 67 The Cardinal's Smith and 30 Tear A bloodthirsty vampire is after you! aie in l°ve! Enjoy the feeling and 32 Dwight Gooden, eg Pull Out your garlic necklace and lhe times you spend urith Ihis 68 Racy 33 Ms.Verdugo e»i.,*t-,.,-, <.„ drive through its heart, special someone. The good 69 Window part 34 Oaklandteam Solutions to Keep your doors locked at nighl feelings will not soon go away, DOWN 35 Quilters' meeting "World and don'l go oul alone! 1 "When you wish upon 36 KinaofJudah Series Time" 38 Davis.-Red's on pq | 6 Gemini Mav 21- June 20 Ka Clean up your messy room, r 2 St. Louis fielder iglecting your 3 Exclamation 41 Ret. fund responsibilities to your friends and ddu e to die lack of open floor sj 4 Fix lhe jotnl again 44 Puzzles, eg. family. Give them ihe attention a 5 Single 45 Courting events they deserve. You owe them some yyou r heaps of dirty clothing. and Ihen. Show them you © 1991 GFR Associates Al Rights reserved P.O. Box 461. Schenectady NY I230I The University Register CLASSIFIEDS

Martin Luther to Help Wanted

UNIVERSITY REGISTER Help Wanted: The Outdoor appear at UMM Center is now accepting applications until Nov S for 2 News Release Advertising Sales Representatives positions. Work study is not Lutheran Campus Ministry A happy hour featuring a keg of required. Applications can be root beer, andotherhorsd 'oeuvrcs, Attention Business Majors!!! You can receive picked up at Student Activities The world-renowned 16lh cen­ will begin at 5:00 p.m., followed excellent sales and administrative training here at the (D-2) or the Outdoor Center. tury iheologian and reformation by German brats, sauerkraut and campus newspaper The University Register is HELP WANTED: LOCAL leader. Dr. Rev. Martin Luther, will other German foods for dinner at currently assembling a team of advertising representatives for the 1991-1992 academic year. TELEM/\RKET1NG POSI­ 6:00 p.m. Three or four ad reps will be responsible for making TION Part time. Office, sales calls to local business, designing ads, ensuring phone, and call lists provided. their proper placement, and generally maintaining Send inquires to PO Box 594, positive business contacts between the community Morris. Mn 56267. and the campus. For more information contact Bill Ristow, Jennifer Wendler, or John Weide at 589- For Sale 6078; or stop by The University Register office on Monday between 4-7 pm. 180 cm Elan Skies, 9 1/2 size ski boots, poles, and bindings. All in excellent condition. S200 or Offer. Call John 589- Assistant Arts and Entertainment 4604, Editor

The University Register is looking for a responsible Brand new Sanyo Microwave. person with good writing and editing skills. Work Great for dorms or Apts. call Nancy. 589-3961. closely with the Arts and Entertainment Editor to coordinate, review, and organize writers and their work. Must be available on Tuesday and Wednesday nights. Flexible hours, start Wanted The good immediately. Contact Mike Bemdt at The University Reverend, or Register office located in the basement of the A S10-S30 Boom Box. If Marty as he Minority Resource Center, 598-6078 or at home you have one sitting around now prefers lo be called, will also community is welcome to attend 589-1272. collecting dust call lhe Uni­ celebrate his 508ih Birthday com­ ihis celebration, festival extrava­ versity Regisier. 589-6078. plete with cake (German Choco­ ganza. Bring your swim suils and late, ofcourse). His final duly will towels, appetite and friends. The a U ofM studeni. The University Register is ai RAISE $500...$1000...$1$00 be to bless the baptismal hoi-tub even t is free as a statement of grace, Equal Opportunity Employer. sponsored in his honor by the Luth­ Marty is looking forward to tub­ eran Campus community. bing with you! Together Christians yooc Are Saying, Singing, Celebrating, Living VOTE The Joyful Affirmation Ronald L. Pollworth for * '" Morris City Council i Get UMM rcprcscntaiion in City governance 1 Ronald Pollworth is Director of Universily Relations al FREE PREGNANCY TESTING UMM and active in the Morris Area Chamber of Commerce Monday thru Friday 1-4 PM and First Lutheran Church Lutheran Campus Ministry Walk-in or call collect. On-campus UMM studenis vote at the Morris Senior Citizens Join The Celebration Crisis Pregnancy Ccnier - Center, polls arc open from 7 a.m. to 8 p.m. Sludenls may Willmar. register at llii' pulls; run i stmt ion will apply for next year's (612)235-7619 puniiiiy and general elections SUNDAY tVote November 5 in the Morris Elections WORSHIP 10:30 A.M. 4th FLOOR,-UMM FOOD SERVICE Campus Minister: Eric Bakken Chrislus House: 589:4554

Free Cla.sifiecl Advertising Hometown. Bakery in trie University .Register Jusi complete this form and return it lo the University Registi office (Minority Resource Center Room 10) by 6:00 pm Monday.

' you are interested in a confidential support group .cilitated by a professional counselor, please SOCofr, >ntact Student Counseling at ext. 6060. You may .main anonymous, bui we need to hear from you, Any Sub;, s we do not plan on running a group until several people have indicated a willingess to participate. 20 word maximum please