Chit-Chat Did You Know ...? 10 the Newsletter of Fun and Games 13

FEATURES THE BIZ 2 THE BUZZ 3 GROUPS 4 CHIT-CHAT DID YOU KNOW ...? 10 THE NEWSLETTER OF FUN AND GAMES 13

EAST RENFREWSHIRE U3A WHIMSY 14 PICTURE GALLERY 16

SCOTTISH CHARITY NO. SCO44004 EVENTS 18 PUZZLE SOLUTIONS 18 No. 94 April 2021 CONTACTS 19

TECHNICOLOR TOWN WHAT'S UP THERE? What's this chap reaching for? Find out in Picture Gallery.

We all know where this is, don't we? If you don't recognise the place right CHAT LINE away, find the answer in The Buzz. Chit-Chat needs readers to keep FREE AT LAST sending in pictures, anecdotes, funny stuff etc. You can send it to me via the message bird, or post it on the ERU3A page in Facebook. MAKE CONTACT Use the link incorporated in the Chit- Chat heading to access our website, and the various message birds to contact group facilitators, as well as the Chairman, Secretary, Groups Coordinator - and me. Safe links to other websites may also appear. If you don't have access to the Internet, phone 07758 344 252 for With the recent easing of Covid information about groups etc. restrictions some of our members are getting together again for outdoor activities, socially distanced of course, as is evident from this photo. See more in Groups. Jim Hamilton

THE BIZ

COMMITTEE NEWS Wednesday 19th May. Guest With the end of the financial year, speaker John Hope will be talking the Annual Report and Accounts, about Time Through the Ages. approved by the Independent Anyone needing help with Examiner, will be issued with the downloading and using Zoom should papers for the AGM on 16 June. Look contact June Weston out for the notice which you will ([email protected] or 07876 receive in May. 315981). A key task for the Committee has AMAZING been the ongoing planning for u3a ER u3a has reached agreement with Day on 2nd June. The Marketing and Robert Kerr who recently opened a Publicity Sub-Committee, which franchise Amazing Results estate fortunately has a member with agency in the Clarkston area. extensive marketing experience, has Robert and his wife Jane will give designed new bright and eye advice to u3a members and their catching tri-fold leaflets and posters friends and family. They offer free for event. These reflect the new u3a home valuations for all areas in East branding and will be available, with Renfrewshire and the whole of the little updating, for future use. In the southside of Glasgow. Robert has run up to u3a Day, and on the day agreed to donate £100 to our u3a itself, you should see some more from every sale generated through publicity and activity taking place the u3a. This doesn't mean that our around East Renfrewshire. u3a endorses Amazing Results. Any While Zoom continues to be the ER u3a member or any main means of meeting up, we hope friends/relatives of theirs must make that with most of us having had at their own choice when choosing an least our first jag, and restrictions estate agent. having eased significantly from 26th Find out more about Amazing April, meeting in person will be more Results and Robert through these likely in the coming months. safe links - Meantime, the Groups Co-ordinator https://www.amazingresults.com/ has been providing guidance about https://www.amazingresults.com/pre meetings to the outdoor groups. ss-releases/ The next joint Committee and Robert and Facilitators Meeting will be on 17th Jane Kerr May. The twice-yearly event will be 0141 639 on Zoom once again. 0404 MONTHLY MEETING 07791 246394

Members will again be asked to register their intention to take part in robert@amazi our next Zoom meeting on ngresults.com

THE BUZZ

APRIL MEETING the burial mound at Maes Howe and Douglas Yates started the latest the standing stones at Stenness. virtual meeting on 21st April by mentioning a couple of events in June - U3A Day on the 2nd and our AGM on the 16th - and confirming that the membership remains steady at 475. Guest speaker Norman Newton was born in Glasgow in 1944, spent his teenage years in Nelson, New

Zealand, and attended college and Mousa Broch university in the USA. In 1971 he returned to Scotland to work in university and public libraries, in Glasgow, Campbeltown and Inverness. He has written extensively on Scottish islands, Highland history and archaeology, and is now the reference librarian at Inverness Skara Brae public library. The Hebridean section of the journey His talk, entitled Muckle Flugga to took us to Skye, Raasay, Staffa, Lewis, Kintyre, took us on a tour of Barra, Mull, Lismore, Coll, Tiree and Scotland's islands, starting at Muckle Colonsay. Flugga, the northernmost point in the UK.

Callanish Standing Stones, Lewis

Muckle Flugga Lighthouse In the Northern Isles Shetland's prehistoric sites include the most complete broch on the Island of Mousa in Shetland, while Orkney's prehistoric wonders include the

Neolithic settlement of Skara Brae, Castlebay, Barra

The Kintyre peninsula is included in the list of islands because it is alleged that 11th Century Norwegian King Magnus Barelegs persuaded the Scottish King Edgar to renounce in his favour Scottish claims to every island west of Scotland that a ship

Tobermoray, Mull could circumnavigate with its rudder set. By sitting at the rudder of his ship, as it was dragged across the narrow ithsmus at Tarbet, Magnus managed to get Kintyre included.

Kiloran Bay, Colonsay

GROUPS

AMBLERS and scones at the Wishing Well Cafe, This month some socially-distanced our ramblers appreciated just being amblers gathered in Eaglesham for able meet again. their first outing in many months. Facilitator Jean They enjoyed a lovely sunlit walk Swinbank hopes that from round the Orry, where they admired now on the group will be all the pretty daffodils. Despite able to resume their twice social-distancing ruling out coffee monthly meetings.

ENJOY THE ARTS on subscription or a pay-per- Lilias Dunlop reports on increasing concert basis. activity on the cultural scene. Amazon Prime is screening an eight- The V & A Dundee is to re-open on part series on The Life of Leonardo Saturday 1st May. Their new Da Vinci, starring Aiden exhibition, Night Fever: Designing Turner (Poldark) and Club Culture, explores the Freddie Highmore (The relationship between club culture Good Doctor). and design from the 1960s to today. FILM APPRECIATION Book now at: At the Group's April meeting, hosted [email protected] or call on by Bruce Cutler, the film selected for 01382 411 611. discussion was Colette , a 2018 The Royal Opera House launched the biographical drama about the life of new season on 9th April by screening French novelist Sidonie-Gabrielle a new production of Kurt Weill and Colette. Everyone agreed it was an Bertolt Brecht's operas The Seven interesting story about an Deadly Sins / Mahagonny Songspiel. adventurous woman, superbly played This is available for £10 until 9th May. by Keira Knightley, and her Also, National Galleries of Scotland controlling husband, played very convincingly by Dominic West, who re-opened on 26th April, Glasgow Concert Halls are taking bookings took the credit for writing the books for new shows and Eastwood Park penned by his wife. Theatre has a fun-packed online programme. This year's online Aye Write festival runs over two weekends (14th-16th and 21st-23rd of May). A £50 pass allows access to over 60 events featuring 100 authors. The Royal Scottish Academy Annual

Exhibition, running until 30th May, includes artworks across a wide The group then discussed films and range of media at a range of prices. TV programmes seen during the The Citizens Theatre is now taking month. Our film buffs are all very bookings for The Macbeths, which keen to get back to in-person will be screening from 3rd June at meetings and cinema outings, but 8.00 and will be available to watch meantime they are for 4 weeks. Tickets are free but a enjoying keeping things donation would be appreciated. going on Zoom. The RSNO | Digital Season is being from April to June 2021. It is available

HANDS-ON GARDENING made the parallel with Asbestosis. In Barshaw Walled Garden our They agreed that this well-acted gardeners agonised for some time dark and emotive film with a over how best to treat a window message was one to watch. blocked up with grey concrete The Mauritian is blocks, that jarred with the the horrendous surrounding Victorian red bricks. story of They eventually decided to make a Guantanamo Bay feature of the eyesore by fixing a and the people frame around it and installing a incarcerated natural art sculpture made from the there. The group ivy they were removing from the wall. hated to see One of the more 'arty' volunteers what was being added dried grasses, teasles and done to the twigs. detainees in their awful situation, but accepted that it is a story which must be told. The screenplay, cinematography and the acting were excellent and the movie buffs highly recommend this film with a message for the politically-minded who are not easily upset by man's inhumanity to man. First They killed My Father is the The new feature can be horrendous story added to throughout of the Cambodian the year. genocide, told MOVIE APPRECIATION from a child's perspective. The This month's movies all made brutality of the political statements, and were both Khmer Rouge, as thought-provoking and harrowing. they selected Dark Waters is children to indoctrinate is horrible. the story of the The victims starved in vile conditions litigation against just because they were the wrong Dupont re type of people. TEFLON. Our Disturbing as the subject matter movie buffs was, the screenplay was good and were shocked at the cinematography showed the whole Cambodia beautifully. However, scenario, and some of the descriptive passages

6 were a bit slow. This is yet another film with a message - moving but not entertaining. At the Group's next meeting on 21st May the films to be discussed are Pride and Prejudice with Keira Knightley on Netflix and Leonardo - a serial on Amazon Prime. NATURE WATCH Spring has Sprung was the theme for April. Here is a small taster from our nature lovers.

QUIZ missing, she seems well placed to This month's quiz was won by solve the crimes. Margaret McRobbie and Mearns 4 read You Jean Swinbank, with a Don’t Know Me magnificent score of 87. by Imran READING Mahmood. Written in the first Mearns 1 is the latest person by the reading group to have accused in his chosen the 2020 closing speech at Booker prize-winning his murder trial after he sacks his novel Shuggie Bain by lawyer, the book makes the readers Douglas Stuart and, as feel they were in the jury. The with the other groups, narrator flannels his way, spinning the members found it story after story, claiming that he provoked interesting discussion. certainly was no angel, but that he Mearns 2 read 29 did not kill in this instance. Seconds by T M Areas for discussion included writing Logan. The plot style, the justice system, racial follows Sarah who is stereotyping and gang culture. At given the opportunity the end our readers had some fun to change her life when they delivered their own around by making her verdicts. unbearably sleazy Mearns 5 read My boss ‘disappear’ with a 29 second Dear, I wanted to phone call. Full of twists and turns, tell you by Louisa the somewhat unbelievable story Young. Essentially a holds its readers in suspense right to love story it follows the end. the lives of Riley Mearns 3 enjoyed Purefoy and The Lost by Claire Nadine, the girl he McGowan, a crime falls in love with thriller set in just before the Northern Ireland outbreak of the first World War. The where the past still heartbreak, traumas and casts a shadow over consequences experienced by those present events. injured both physically and mentally, Forensic psychologist Paula Maguire and the wonderful work the surgeons returns to her hometown of the day did to heal barely to support her ailing father, and to imaginable wounds makes investigate unsolved cases of compelling reading. The general missing girls. Since she’s a local girl feeling was that this was an and her own mother also went

8 alternative view of a much written convenient and picturesque picnic about period in our history. spot before returning to Neilston. The Spoken Word Group's choice was Night Boat to Tangier written and read by Irish novelist Kevin Barry. Two aging ex- drug dealers, Maurice and Charlie, are in the Spanish port Algeciras hoping to encounter Dilly, Maurice’s 23 -year old daughter who neither has seen for 3 years. As the reader eavesdrops on their conversation their story unfolds. Most of the group enjoyed the lyrical language, but others criticized the lack of structure in a style reminiscent of James Joyce.

WALKING Walking Group members were pleased to be able to get out again for the first time this year following the partial easing of restrictions. The two walks started at Neilston Station, from where Elspeth Robinson led the groups on a scenic 4½ mile circular walk up and around the popular Neilston Pad, with reduced numbers and safe distancing observed. The weather was warm and sunny on both weeks and walkers enjoyed fine views of the surrounding hills and fishing reservoirs plus an abundance of Spring flowers, blossoms and birdlife along the way. The walk climbs to a height of 260 metres above sea level, and a short break Next month’s walk will be was taken by the cairn at the summit to Chatelherault and The before descending again and passing Avon Gorge. by Craighall Dam, which made a

DID YOU KNOW …? TAX TIP Tax Help for Older People's tip for Marriage Allowance (MA) April is about tax allowances for the If you’re too young for MCA you may 2021/22 tax year. qualify for MA, which allows the transfer of 10% of the Personal Personal Allowance Allowance from one spouse or civil Most people don't pay tax on the partner, who is unable to use it, to first £12,570 of taxable income the other. This usually means one (generally from work or pensions, spouse or partner will have an including State Pension). But if you income below the personal have taxable income over £100,000 allowance and the other will be a you’ll find your Personal Allowance is basic rate tax payer (higher rate reduced, and if income exceeds taxpayers can’t have it). The £125,140 you get none at all. transferable amount of £1,260 can Blind Person’s Allowance (BPA) save up to £252 in tax. New claims BPA gives an additional £2,520 of tax can be backdated for up to 4 years if free income, which is transferable to appropriate. a spouse or civil partner if the Allowances for Savings Interest claimant is a non-taxpayer. Interest payments from or credited In Scotland BPA is available to to ISAs are not taxable and don’t anyone unable to undertake any count towards any of the allowances work for which eyesight is essential. mentioned below. Individuals can HMRC offers a dedicated helpline for put up to £20,000 into ISAs each BPA claims and enquiries on 0300 year. 200 3301. The Personal Savings Allowance Married Couples Allowance (MCA) (PSA) permits £1,000 of taxable MCA applies for marriages and civil savings interest to be received tax partnerships where at least one of free by anyone paying no more than the couple was born before 6th April basic rate tax, or £500 for higher 1935. You generally need to be living rate taxpayers. together, but if separated through The “Starting Rate for Savings”, circumstance rather than a decision currently 0%, may be relevant and if to formally separate it can still be general income is very low then claimed. Although the MCA is £9,125 some unused Personal Allowance it is only given at 10% so is best may also be available. If your total viewed as a simple tax reduction of taxable income for the year up to £912.50. It can be transferred (including savings interest outside between the individuals or shared, ISAs) comes to less than £18,570 and is reduced proportionately for then any part which is interest those on incomes above £30,400, should be tax free. but cannot reduce below the minimum allowance of £3,530.

Dividend Allowance example, banks and building Dividends payments from ISAs are societies now don’t generally deduct not taxable and don’t count towards tax at-source from interest as most the separate Dividend Allowance people will be eligible to receive it which permits £2,000 of non-ISA tax free, but HMRC is sent reports on dividend income before any tax is interest payments which it uses to due on it. If any Personal Allowance is check if tax might be due. Some unused by other incomes the spare allowances are only given to those could be used to cover further who claim them, so if you think you're dividend income. not getting an allowance you're eligible for it may be one you need to Property Allowance and Trading Allowance actively claim from HMRC, either on- These are separate allowances of line or by ringing 0300 200 3300. £1,000 each which work in a similar This article is by Tax Help for Older way. Income up to £1,000 from a People (Scottish charity No. property business (rental income) is SC045819), which offers free tax tax free, as is income up to £1,000 advice to older people on low from self-employment (trading incomes who cannot afford income). Where income is over professional help. Their helpline £1,000 the taxable figure is number is 01308 488066. The full calculated by deducting either actual article can be accessed at April Tax expenses or a flat £1,000, whichever Tips in Word, April Tax Tips in pdf or produces the best result. via the charity's website Note: Some of these allowances (www.taxvol.org.uk/faq- are allocated automatically – for category/taxtips/).

BEAT THE SCAMMERS  Have you been asked to share In How to spot a scam - Which? personal details? Consumer Rights you can find out Never share your personal details how to spot and protect yourself with anyone if you can't confirm they are who they say they are. from scams. If you answer yes to  any of the following questions, Are the contact details vague? there's a good chance someone's Contact details on scam websites trying to work a scam. can be a PO box, premium rate number (starting ‘09’) or a mobile  Have you been contacted out of the number. Premium rate numbers are blue? also a favoured trick for squeezing Cold calls or unexpected emails or every penny out of you. messages should raise suspicion,  Are you being asked to keep it especially if you’re asked to give secret? personal or payment details. This is a way to keep you away from If you're not 100% convinced about the advice and support you need to the identity of the caller, hang up and make a decision. contact the company directly.

 Is the offer too good to be true? offer call blocking services, but some If it seems too good to be true, it do charge a fee. inevitably is.  Change your contact details  Are you being pressured to make a It might be worth changing your decision? number and/or email address if Sales staff should always give you you’re being bombarded by cold time and space to make an informed calls and spam. decision, anyone who tries to rush  Protect your private information you should not be trusted. Avoid giving out your phone number,  Are there spelling and grammar email address, postal address and mistakes? payment details whenever possible. Emails or messages littered with  Keep your PIN number to yourself spelling and grammar mistakes are a Your bank will never ask for your PIN. scam giveaway. Legitimate  Pick tricky passwords organisations will rarely, if ever, make Setting a different password for each spelling or grammatical mistakes in of your important accounts is a good their emails to you because they’ve idea. If one password becomes been put together by professionals compromised, scammers can’t use it and checked before they’re sent. to access anything else. And the less Tips to protect yourself from scams: sense the password makes, the better, so it’s not easy to guess.  Tighten your social media privacy  Keep an eye on your credit file settings so your profile and the By regularly checking your credit file things you post are only visible to you’ll pick up on any fraudulent your friends and family. You can applications that might have been choose settings that will stop made in your name. strangers from sending you messages or friend requests. Sign up for scam alerts  Use an email provider with strong Share scam details spam filters. We’d recommend Latest Scam News Gmail.  Use a call blocking service to stop Scam alert: Dyson V10 ‘loyalty unsolicited calls. If you sign up for program’ email the free Telephone Register Service, An email purporting to be from companies shouldn’t call you. You Dyson is promising ‘prizes’ as part of can also cheaply buy phones that a fake loyalty program. Dyson has you can set up to only receive calls confirmed it has nothing to do with from known numbers, while blocking the communication. all others. Network providers also

NATURAL SELECTION describes fifty wonders of the Universe. Marcus Chown's recently published book Infinity in the Palm of Your Hand His chapter on evolution begins with the revelation that we share a

12 third of our DNA with fungi, in every cell, and variations in confirming Darwin's discovery that all offspring arise from mutations in life forms on the planet have a DNA. 'The capacity to blunder common ancestor. slightly is the real marvel of DNA,' Darwin recognised that, as most according to American biologist creatures produced a lot more Lewis Thomas. 'Without this,' he said, offspring than could be sustained by 'we would still be anaerobic bacteria the available food, those best suited and there would be no music.' to exploit resources persisted while The first tentative evidence of life those least suited perished. What he on Earth dates to about 3.8 billion didn't know, and what we now know, years ago. The first cell, dubbed the is how characteristics are passed on last universal common ancestor from generation to generation and (LUCA) arose around 4 billion years what created the variation in ago, but nobody knows how the step offspring. from non-life to life was taken. The blueprint for any organism is recorded in its DNA, which is carried

FUN AND GAMES NAME THE CITY Marbe McNeil sent us this poser.

Each of these rather fuzzy pictorial clues suggests the name of a capital city. Can you name them?

Here is another from Marbe. RIDDLE ME THIS... 1. I am full of holes but I can hold water 2. What gets wet when drying? 3. What are 2 things people never eat before breakfast? 4. What has a face and 2 hands but no arms or legs? 5. What is the more you take away the larger it becomes? 6. What can't be used until it is broken? 7. What has many keys but cannot open any doors? 8. What has 4 legs but only 1 foot?

WHIMSY

PARAPADOSKIANS plagiarism. To steal from many is Marbe McNeill sent us this whimsical research. piece. 9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. Have you heard of paraprosdokians? 10. In filling out an application, where They are a figure of speech in which it says, "In case of an emergency, the latter part of a sentence or notify..." I answered "a doctor." phrase is surprising or unexpected 11. Women will never be equal to men and is frequently humorous. until they can walk down the street (Winston Churchill loved them). with a bald head and a beer gut, and 1. Where there's a will, I want to be in still think they are sexy. it. 12. You do not need a parachute to 2. The last thing I want to do is hurt skydive. You only need a parachute you ...but it's still on my list. to skydive twice. 3. Since light travels faster than 13. I used to be indecisive, but now sound, some people appear bright I'm not so sure. until you hear them speak. 14. To be sure of hitting the target, 4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be shoot first and call whatever you hit wrong. the target. 5. We never really grow up -- we only 15. Going to church doesn't make you learn how to act in public. a Christian, any more than standing 6. War does not determine who is in a garage makes you a car. right, only who is left. 16. You're never too old to learn 7. Knowledge, is knowing a tomato is something stupid. a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a 17. I'm supposed to respect my fruit salad. elders, but it's getting harder and 8. To steal ideas from one person is harder for me to find one now.

FUNNY THINGS Marbe also sent in these.

And this. This Lockdown Poem is a parody of several well-known pieces of poetry. How many can you identify? I won’t arise and go now, and go to Innisfree, I’ll sanitize the doorknob and make a cup of tea. I won’t go down to the sea again; I won’t go out at all, I’ll wander lonely as a cloud from the kitchen to the hall. There’s a green-eyed yellow monster to the north of Katmandu But I shan’t be seeing him just yet and nor, I think, will you. While the dawn comes up like thunder on the road to Mandalay I’ll make my bit of supper and eat it off a tray. I shall not speed my bonnie boat across the sea to Skye Or take the rolling English road from Birmingham to Rye. About the woodland, just right now, I am not free to go To see the Keep Out posters or the cherry hung with snow, And no, I won’t be travelling much, within the realms of gold, Or get me to Milford Haven. All that’s been put on hold. Give me your hands, I shan’t request, albeit we are friends Nor come within a mile of you, until this trial ends.

PICTURE GALLERY

EASTER PARADE Allison Kershaw sent in the cheery picture of decorated eggs.

And Anne Sykes sent us the Easter egg tree.

BACK IN THE FOREST Here are a few more of Allen Walker's Pictures from Canada's Grouse Mountain.

EVENTS

DAY DATE EVENT Wednesday 19th May John Hope - Time Through the Ages Wednesday 2nd June u3a Day Wednesday 16th June Fool's Gold - AGM

PUZZLE SOLUTIONS NAME THE CITY RIDDLES

1. Wellington 1. A sponge

2. Baghdad 2. Atowel

3. Brussels 3. Lunch and Dinner

4. Canberra 4. A clock

5. Athens 5. A hole

6. Stockholm 6. An egg

7. Katmandu 7. A piano

8. Moscow 8. A bed

9. Belgrade

CONTACTS

Mobile enquires call/text 07758 344 252 www.u3asites.org.uk/eastrenfrewshire Chairman: Douglas Yates Vice Chair: Marbe McNeill Group Secretary: June Weston Treasurer: Graham Greenhalgh Membership Secretary: Roy Bryce Groups Co-ordinator: Rosalind Holmes Webmaster: Rosalind Holmes