AUGUST 30 COMMODORE BALLROOM TICKETS ALSO AT SCRAPE WITH SPECIAL GUESTS MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE SECONDS TO GO ALL AGES MATINEE DOORS 2:00PM SHOW 3:00PM SEPTEMBER 3 COMMODORE BALLROOM TICKETS ALSO AT ZULU AND SCRATCH IInnarnnardsds THE NERVE CCoovveerr SSttoorryy HIT SQUAD King Pin (a/k/a Editor-In-Chief) Bradley C. Damsgaard [email protected] ARRRR! Pistol Whipper (a/k/a Music Editor) Adrian Mack It’s completely point- [email protected] less to discuss the The Corpse (a/k/a Bridge Burner impact of Pirate Culture & Railway Sabotage) Sarah Rowland on Rock ‘n’ Roll but we The Getaway Driver did it anyway! You (a/k/a Production Manager) Pierre Lortie should check it out. If [email protected] you can tear your eyes 2 Bit Rounder (a/k/a Editorial Assistant) away, that is. Are you Ryan Calvery still even reading this? Weapons Cleaner (a/k/a Article Editor) Yeah, we know. We see Jon Azpiri Surveillance Team it. (a/k/a Photographers) Laura Murray, Jeremy Van Nieuwkerk, 15 Miss Toby Marie photo: Badly Damaged Launderer (a/k/a Book Editor) SideSixtySeven 13 J. Pee Patchez 11 There are things going on Vancouver that you should know Shotgun (a/k/a Film Editor) about. These skate punks have a few theories. (swims with the fishes) The Henchmen (a/k/a Design & Graphics) Nazareth 10 Pierre Lortie, Annie Totalenkrieg Remember “Shanghai’d in Shanghai”? No? Big surprise. The Muscle (a/k/a Staff Writers) Atomick Pete, A.D. MADGRAS, Cowboy TexAss, Casey Bourque, Sinister Sam, The Homewrekers 10 Adler Floyd, Aaronoid, Billy Hopeless, D-Rock and Miss Kim, Michael Mann, The Edmonton punkettes have dirty, dirty mouths. Dirty, dirty Adrian Mack, Jake Poole, Max Crown, 8- mouths... Ball, Carl Spackler, Richard Murray, E.S Day, David Bertrand Girl Friday Otep 9 10 (a/k/a Subscriptions/Mailouts) Sue Hobler On the road, on the anti-warpath and on Bushie’s shit list. Fire Insurance (a/k/a Advertising/Marketing Dept.) Brad Damsgaard, Kevin Angel, W.A.S.P. 11 Kristin Lamont Turns out the PMRC was right: Blackie Lawless destroys E.S. [email protected] Day’s impressionable young mind Cover Design and Photo Miss Toby Marie Cover Model Lindsay the Conqueror Who Cares? / Sound City Hooligans 19 The Nerve proudly presents its first scratch ‘n’ sniff feature Out-of-town Connections (a/k/a Distribution and Street Team) Calgary: Rick Overwater, Mike Taylor. Edmonton: Freecloud Records Graeme MacKinnon, Lindsey McNeill. Winnipeg: Phil and Ryan of Steel Capped Records, Off the Record 22 Victoria/Whistler: Jono Jak, Lindsay Seattle/Bellingham: Frank Yahr Maximum R&R, Clann Zu, Ex Girl, Comets on Fire, Atomic 7... The Nerve is published monthly by The Nerve Cheap Shotz 7 Magazine Ltd. The opinions expressed by the writers and artists do not necessarily reflect those of The It’s on the next goddamn page, just go look for yourself Nerve Magazine or its editors. The Nerve does not accept responsibility for content in advertisements. The Nerve reserves the right to refuse any advertise- ment or submission and accepts no responsibility for Live Wires 21 19 unsolicited manuscripts or artwork. All content © Copyright The Nerve Magazine 2004 Stompin’ Tom, AC Newman, DKT/MC5, Demolition Doll Rods The Nerve Magazine 508 - 825 Granville St. What Were You Thinking? Worst cd of the month 24 Vancouver, B.C. Michael Mann is a Meth’d Up Welfare Loser 6 V6Z 1K9 604.734.1611 Skate Spot 25 Ainsworth 26 www.thenervemagazine.com Film 26 Crossword/Comics 27 5 Column Michael Mann is a Meth’d Up Welfare Loser NORTH SIDE KINGS ARE UNDEFEATED! Danzig got knocked the fuck out By Michael Mann n Sunday July 5, 2004, Misfits fans where The North Side Kings were supposed to floor. Danzig’s fans all yell “cheapshot” and a some sort of weapon in Danny’s hand though everywhere were shocked to learn that play a show with Danzig. After driving six guy, who I’m assuming is a member of the it’s frighteningly obvious that there wasn’t. ODanny from a relatively unknown hours to get to the show, the band arrived and group, let’s out a “North Side Kings are The delusions of the “it was a cheapshot/ he band called the North Side Kings attacked found Danzig onstage performing ahead of Undefeated” in his best metal voice (If you’re had a weapon” camp are probably a result of Glenn Danzig and stabbed him in the face. schedule. Once the washed-up Misfit finished wondering why cameras were rolling, it’s some sort of early adolescent trauma. Seeing When I heard that, it really got me thinking. his set, the house lights went on and crews because The North Side Kings were shooting Danzig getting rocked brought back painful I’m not a fan of Danzig or The Misfits so I began to tear down the stage and sound sys- footage for an upcoming DVD). In this memories of high school… where I imagine could care less if the dude got stabbed. But tem. Backstage, in front of all of Danzig’s writer’s humble opinion, this video is ten most Danizg/Misfits fans got their asses it’s not often we pause to reflect on how truly groupies and security, Danny from The North times better than the Paris Hilton Sex Video kicked on a daily basis. shitty it would be to have a sharp piece of ser- Side Kings and the cocky dark lord of metal and that video of the guy getting his head cut The consequences of the punch are far- rated metal shoved into your own face. Even have a calm discussion. Danny explains why off COMBINED. reaching. It’s obvious that The North Side someone anointed by Satan winces at the he was upset, then for no reason Danzig After the video got passed around more Kings are gonna be huge. How can they not prospect. screams “fuck you motherfucker” and gives times than the Nerve Editor’s mom, the shit be? One of their guys knocked out fucking Days later, a video surfaced and the online the hefty Danny a shove. Danzig, though geri- hit the proverbial fan. Danzig and Misfits Glenn Danzig for fuck’s sake. This story will world was abuzz. So many people were trying atric and smaller than Danny, is still in good message boards were flooded with posts and probably be on MTV by the time this article to download the video, The North Side Kings shape and apparently knows martial arts. then promptly taken down by an overzealous gets printed. It’s also clear that Satan favours website crashed (it’s back up now). Links to Danny screams “Fuckity” and lands a hay- webmaster who didn’t wanna see what Danny more than Danzig. Whether or not the clip popped up and quickly went down as maker that causes Danzig to spin around 360 remains of Danzig’s rep get destroyed, there will be a ceremony in Hell to hand over bandwidth limits were exceeded. Everyone degrees and collapse on the ground. Knocked Currently, it’s obsessive Danzig fans ver- the metal crown remains to be seen, but in the wanted this video. Finally a website the fuck out. On further review, the punch sus the rest of the online world. Danzig fans meantime, whenever you see an idiot in a (www.azpunk.com) large enough to handle all looks more like a giant bitch slap than an actu- are claiming that it was a cheap shot, even Misfits shirt, be sure to laugh at them (more so the traffic decided to host the video. al punch. A mob ensues and the camera pans though Danzig clearly pushed Danny first. than usual) and inform them of how their hero The video was shot at a show in Arizona down to show Danzig unconscious on the Danzig fans are also claiming that there was got knocked the fuck out. stills from www.azpunk.com The argument... The return haymaker... Danzig attacks.... Danzig does the potato sack. 6 Mack & Co. Cheap Shotz By Tamara Taggart one but two shitty books and any http://hotpunkgirl.com/links.html other form of merch that you could (lots of good links) possibly conceive, the creator of the http://www.barelyevil.com/ world’s worst music magazine has http://www.gothicsluts.com/ bestowed his valued insight on how http://www.xxxvampiresex.com/ to live a proper and balanced lifestyle. Maybe it’s a reverse psy- The Fox Rocks! So Does Your chology type thing- you know “How Granny! And They Both Suck Not to Live” by Gene Simmons. Do Eggs! the opposite and you’ll be fine. Hopefully there is a section focusing Chris Rebel and local ballet dancer on “How to buy a really bad hair Kevin Angel took The Fox by storm piece… even if you’re filthy rich” I during the Vancouver radio station’s personally need a touch-up. Sounds weekly Punkorama program last YOU HAVE… 1 like the Tony Robbins of Heavy week. After sitting through one too NEW MESSAGE, Metal has finally found a way to put Carl Spackler Remembers Linda many lab-engineered and Corp- FIRST MESSAGE... Ronstadt a nail in his own signature Kustom orate-sanctioned “Punk Rock”TM Received: July 8th 12:45pm KISS Koffin (also available online). new releases, Chris Rebel discov- When Linda Ronstadt did the right- -E.S. Day ered hitherto unplumbed depths of Hello, this is Carl, manag- eous thing and told audiences to go youthful disgust and liberally er of the Bread Garden on see Michael Moore’s Farenheit doing walking around Bangkok in Suicide Girls: A Balanced View, employed the word “sucks” to Denman, and , uh, we 9/11, all hell broke loose.