The Amicus Curiae (Vol

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1999 The Amicus Curiae (Vol. 10, Issue 2)

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Copyright c 1999 by the authors. This article is brought to you by the William & Mary Law School Scholarship Repository. https://scholarship.law.wm.edu/newspapers The

VOLUMEX,ISSUETWO FRIDAY,OCTOBER 1, 1999. WILLIAM & MARY SCHOOL OF LAW Law School Hosts Supreme Court Preview

by Rod Frazior em California and Suzanna Sherry of the The William and Mary Institute ofBill University of Minnesota argued the case ofRights Law held its 12th Annual Supreme before a distinguished panel of judges Court Preview last Friday and Saturday, comprised of both journalists and law September 24th-25th, here at the Marshall­ professors. Joan Biskupic of the Wash­ Wythe School of Law. This event has ington Post served as the Chief Justice, gained national reknown in its twelve years . presiding with such figures as Linda and drew an impressive field of partici­ GreenhouseofTheNew York Times, Tracy pants from across the nation as well as our Maclin of Boston University and Neal own backyard. Respected legal scholars Devins of William and Mary. Friday and Supreme Court journalists gathered to night's schedule closed out with a look at discuss the current character of the Su­ the immediate past of the Court and pos­ preme Court and the various issues con­ sibilities for its future direction. This panel fronting it this term Scholars Akhil Amar was moderated by Charles Bierbauer of ofYale Law School and Erwin Chemerinsky CNN and featured such noted authorities of the University of Southern California as Northwestern University's Steve Professor Michael Gerhardt discusses Supreme Court's past and future. Law School participated as did journalists Calabresi and Willian1andMary's Michael Photo by Lauren S. Fassler Charles Bierbauer ofCNN and David Sav­ Gerhardt. age of The Los Angeles Tim es and a score Saturday's events took a closer look Commerce panel, affirmative action in the events comfortably. Of others. at specific issues facing the court this Civil Rights panel, and clashes between Registration began at 5:30pm on Fri­ Friday's schedule featured the Moot term. In different sessions, panels ofnoted state governments and federal legislation day night, and the Moot Court argument Court Argument that addressed the con-· authorities discussed various topics re­ in the Federalism panel. Brief breaks oc­ started at 6:15 pm. Student seating was stitutionality of government aid to paro­ lated to the Court's upcoming docket. curred between each panel and an ample first come, fust served with a line forming chial schools. Noted professors Erwin Issues discussed included federal to­ lunch period broke the day in halfto make outside the courtroom. For those who Chemerinsky of the University of South- bacco legislation in the Business and it easier for spectators to take in all the day's See Supreme Court Oil 2 Students Try Their Luck At Casino Night PSF d~aws law students to school Saturday night for games, prizes

By LaurenS. Fassler off to the highest bidder who had won the happening for me too much tonight." About 50 students, mostly 1Ls , helped At 8 p.m. on Saturday, September 25, most playing chips, said 3L Kevin Casino Night was originally scheduled make the event a success by donating law school students were making their way Kenneally, a PSF co-chair for Casino for September l7 but had to be rescheduled approximately two hours of time each. to the Marshall-Whythe School of Law, Night. Taking in the most chips at the when the event became yet another casu­ Volunteers found many ways in which not to spend an evening briefing cases in games tables was just for the fun of win­ alty of Hurricane Floyd. they could help. Before Casino Night, some the library but to try their luck at blackjack, ning·, not for earning currency to buy Group members have spent the past volunteers placed calls to businesses ask­ poker, craps, and the roulette wheel. prizes. month organizing the annual PSF event, ing them to donate prizes for the raffie. Students entered the lobby decorated said Kenneally, who co-chaired Casino Other-students sold tickets, while still more with red and purple streamers, poster size "It's nice to hang out and to Night with Kara Driscoll, 2L, and Jessica hung up flyers and did several hanging file playing cards, and construction paper cut­ win, although I'm not sure Arons, 3L. Planning started a month ago advertisement drops. outs of red hearts, black clubs, and green whenPSFmembersarrangedwiththeschool "This is the fust big event to get people dollar signs. Volunteers got them set up that is happening for me administration to reserve the law school involved in PSF, which is the main public with an entry slip for the raffle and a black too much tonight," Mike and sent out letters to area businesses service organization at the law school," plastic Public Service Fund (PSF) cup filled Goode said. looking for sponsors. They then held a Kenneally said. "Hopefully they'll keep with coupons for beer and different col­ meeting to recruit volunteers. See High Rollers on 3 ored playing chips. Red chips were worth 100 points, blue chips 50 points, and white The prizes included four tickets to chips 25 points. Busch Gardens, four tickets to Ford's In this Issue Some students went immediately over Colony Golf Course, four tickets to the to the games tables, while others stopped Williamsburg Theatre, a green William Move over Ann Landers, here Find out if Love Stinks, first for refreshments, including appetizers and Mary sweatshirt from the College comes Madame Eightball....•... p4 .stinks•..•...... p9 provided by J MRandall's, soda, beer, and Shop, and a coupon for two bike rentals chips. Then an hour before the event ended at Bikesrnith. The other prizes were gift certificates to a number of different area See pictures of thecard sharks Did your roommate really hit a at midnight, students crowded around to who turned out forCasino home run? Softball tournament watch the door prizes being raffied off. restaurants, such as Beethoven's Inn and Because this is Virginia where gam­ Peking Restaurant. Nigh't...... p3&8 pictures...... ~ .. pi 0 "It's a good break from studying," bling is illegal, PSF had to give the prizes said lLMikeGoode. "It'snicetohangout away randomly instead ofauctioning them and to win, although I'm not sure that is 2 ======Friday, October 1, 1999 THE AMicus Scholars Examine Supreme Court Issues

Supreme Court, From I conveyed a sense of the "character" and "personality" of field of constitutional scholarship. could not be accommodated in the courtroom there was the Supreme Court and its various members. The tape Program materials from the event have been compiled alive video feedoftheevents fedintor~m 119. Satt¥"day's delay broadcast on C-SPAN is particularly gratifying, as into a 400-page notebook that contains extensive infor­ proceedings took place in room 120 with no alternate its audience is wide and diverse, Douglas said, bringing mation on the subject at hand. This is a wonderful source viewing arrangements. The fust panel, Business and even more attention to the school and those affiliated with of information regarding the Supreme Court's pending Commerce, began at 8:45 and events continued until4:30 it. cases and is a must have for anyone interested in consti­ pm tutional scholarship. Copies are available for purchase, Davison Douglas, director of The Institute of Bill of and there are multiple copies on reserve in the library as Rights Law, said that the event had many benefits to the "It's a good educational opportunity," well. To take advantage of this opportunity, contact individual and tci the Marshall-Wythe School of Law. Davison Douglas said.· Melody Nicholls at the Bill of Rights Institute of Law, When asked to describe the character of the Preview, he office220. noted that it was "lively and interesting" because of the inix of academics and professional journalists, with the B.eyond this, Douglas stated that the preview is a journalists bringing diverse perspectives beyond the "good educational opportunity" for all law students and academic realm. He added that the panel discussions especially 1Ls , who can gain valuable insights into the Moot Court _Hopefuls Tackle Pr.oblent by Eric Nakano of lL bailiffs to act as timekeepers, and to usher the the standards of leadership established by the WGA Despite an improvised packet distribution due to justices about. In addition to their official functions, specifically prohibit membership to homosexuals. Floyd, the Bushrod Moot Court tournament begins on bailiffs have the opportunity to witness the deliberation The two women requested review oftheir status by the schedule this Thursday, and will continue through the process (a potential advantage should they choose to regional director, who upheld the local decision to dis­ final round on Sunday, October 17. Eighty-five 2Ls are compete in next year's tournament). miss. At that point, each woman initiated a suit against the expected to compete for 32 spots on the 2000 Moot Court Created by Kindra Gromelski, this year's problem has WGA and the Marshall Council in the Wythe Superior Team Competitors will present appellate arguments be­ competitors making arguments in the case oftwo lesbians Court alleging that her dismissal was in violation of the fore a panel ofjudges composed of students, faculty, and dismissed froma nationwide youth organization called Wythe Law Against Discrimination (LAD), which offers outside judges, such as Charles E. Poston, Chief Justice the Wilderness Girls of America (WGA) on the basis of protection based on affectional or sexual orientation. The of the Circuit Court ofthe City ofNorfolk. their sexual preference. trial court held that LAD did not apply, as the WGA is not Each year, the 2Ls competing in the Bushrod tourna­ The two plaintiffs in the case, Eunice Kim and Deana a place ofpublic service, and that applying it would violate ment have exhibited tremendous skill, leading to the Kucler, were both long-time members of the WGA who the WGA'sFirstAmendmentrights. On appeal, the higher selectionofaMootCourtTeamofnationalrenown. Last became adult troop leaders in 1990. After serving for two court held just the opposite ruling against the WGA The year's team, for example, finished first in tournaments at years, both were dismissed from the WGA in 1992 after it WGA is appealing the decision to the Supreme Court of Harvard, Chapel Hill, and Duke, and made the semi-fmal was discovered that they were open lesbians. In response Wythe. cut at Fordham, judged by Supreme Court Justice Scalia. to Kim's letter requesting the reason for expulsion, W GA All law students are welcome, and are encouraged to In addition to 2Ls, the tournament relies on a number officials sent both Kim and Kucler letters indicating that watch. r------~ THE AMICUS CURIAE

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Editors: Bob Ford News Editor: Pamela Jenkins writers and new ideas. Sug Assistant News Editor: Sarah Kinsman . - Assistant Features Editor: Andrew Hampton Business Editor: Tom Voekler Copy Editor: CarollynJackson ge~tions and/or. criticisms Production Editors: Eric Nakano Katie Riley Reporters: are always welco~e. (Butnotewe JimBlack Nancy Lee Sara Benmeir Cameron Lynch ·reserve the right to get you' back by making you a TimEmry Jessica Norris Lauren Fassler JeffPolich RodneyFrazioi- Shannon Wiley trading card.) Lee Harrell Catie Zaller

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High Rollers from 1 as a blackjack dealer," said Dennis volunteering throughout the year." ~chmieder, a 1L volunteer for PSF. "I'm On the night of the event there was a having fui:l, and it feels good knowing it's great deal ofwork for the volunteers. Some for a worthy cause." students helped by setting up before .the . - Tickets for Casino Night cost $8 for event started and cleaning up after the volunteers, $10 in advance, and $12 at the action was over. door. The money raised from this and other Other volunteers pitched in to get par­ PSF events will help the service organiza­ ticipants started with their playing chips tion fund $2,500 stipends this corning sum­ and raffle entry, and to assist by serving mer for law students who take unpaid refreshments. Volunteers also served as public interest or public service jobs, the DJs, raffle operators, and card defilers. Kenneally said. Last year PSF funded 25 "This is the first time I've ever worked service stipends.

~ Two students square off across the Blackjack table. Photo by LaurenS. Fassler Journal of.Women and the Law Receives Accreditation

by Katie Riley Journal met with success on the first at­ February's symposium on the Violence ous legal positions. The William &Mary Journal ofWomen tempt and became William and Mary's Against Women Act. Another sympo­ The Wffliam and Mary Journal of and the Law has recently joined the list of fourth accredited journal. sium concerning transgender issues is Women&theLawwasestablishedin 1993. William and Mary's accreditedjoumals. Before receiving accreditation, the Wil­ scheduled for next February. Again, the The 1999-2000 Editorial Board consists of The Journal applied for accreditation liam and Mary Journal of Women & the results from the symposium will be the Dawn Sherman (Editor-in-Chief), Jessica through the Curriculum Committee last Law was purely an extra-curricular activ­ theme of a future issue of the Journal. Arons (Managing Editor), Megan Hogan spring by submitting a report detailing, ity. Professor Barnard, acting faculty advi­ (Executive Editor), Anna Jemjernian (Re­ among aother things, the notes program, Now, as on· other journals, 2L staff sor, will co-sponsor a ~eminar with the search Editor), Amy Bauer (Symposium the types of articles accepted, the number members receive one credit each semester William and Mary Journal of Women & Editor), Kindra Gromelski (Senior Notes of pages and issues published. The appli­ for writing a note. This will fulfill the writing the Law entitled "How Women Get -And Editor), M. Christina Hewett(Student Notes cation was then presented at a faculty . requirement for graduation. Use - Power in the Law." Editor), and Stephanie Bovee, Emily Hayes, meeting where a Journal staff member The Journal alread:y has plans fm this The November l21h event will feature Marybeth Lenkevi.ch. and Shannon W iky was available to answer questions. The year. The first issue will be based on last panel discussions led by women in vari- (Articles Editors). •• ·~

THE DANA HTZS!MONS QUAHET

FEATURI NG Fresh Wrap and Salad Flavors AMYM UNSON, VOCALIST prepared right before your eyesl Marketplace at the Campus Center Monday - Thursday 11 AM - 2PM & 4:30PM - 8PM EVER.Y MONDAY, BEGINNING SEPTfMBER 6 Friday 11 AM - 2 PM NO COVER - MUSIC FROM 8:00 -1030 FULL MARTINI MENU - APPETIZER SPECIALS INCLUDING $1.00 R.ED BEANS & RICE • 4 ======:Friday, October 1, 1999 THE AMicus J Traditional Jazz Finds A Home At The Green ·Leafe By Andrew Hampton The Quartet consists of Dana played, by request, Billy Strayhorn's "A band; "it is wonderful to get New York Looking for something new to do in Fitzsimons on drums, bassist Elias Bailey, Train," which served as Duke Ellington's qualityjazzattheGreenLeafe. ltisjustlike Williamsburg? Well the Green Leafe Harris Simon on keys and occasionally on theme song, followed by Miles Davis's going to the Blue Note." Whether your and Dana Fitzsimons, a 2L, have harmonica, along with Fitzsimons' wife, "Seven Steps to Heaven" and were then knowledge or exposure to jazz is limited, or stepped up to the challenge of provid­ vocalist Amy Munson. Fitzsimons said joined by vocalist Munson to play "Over ifyou are ajazzguru, the Quartet is a must ing that something new and brought that the Quartet will "on occasion bring in the Rainbow." see. It is a great opportunity to hear musi­ · traditional jazz and blues to guest musicians such as hom players." Like all good jazz bands, the Quartet cians who can play by ear, feeding off of Williamsburg. Every Monday night at Prior to law school, Fitzsimons was a high can fmd a scale and then jam from there, the other musicians. theGreenLeafe, from8-10:30, the Dana school bandleader and toured nationally moving from mellow to energetic, just by When asked about the atmosphere the Fitzsimons Quartet plays an array of with the Glenn Miller Orchestra. making eye contact with each other. And Quartet and the Green Leafe have created traditional jazz such as Miles Davis and Though Monday the 131hofSeptember with the addition of Munson's voice, the Fitzsimons said "its loud enough to come John Coltrane along with some classic was only the second time they have played Quartet can sffi!t from the opened ended and have fun with friends yet quiet enough blues riffs. On those nights the Green together, one would think they have been jazz typical of Miles Davis to something for dinner with a date." Leaf is also offering specials such as red playing for years as evidenced by their like Billie Holiday or Ella Fitzgerald. beans and rice for a dollar. smooth changes. For example, the Quartet Dr. Mark Greenspan, a 2L, said of the

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ByTimEmry album to anyone but the true Wu-Tang mind. Unfortunately, the rest of the album recognized outside ofthe hip hop commu­ It seems that this month is Christ;mas in fan who insists on owning every Wu­ contains unmemorable songs, which fol­ nity. Hopefully, this album will allow his - the worldofhiphop andR&B music. With Tang release. If you do plan on buying it, low a tired, old format and which do not music to be heard by the masses, so that a ton orreleases and more coming, I thought don't even think about boosting. It is the allow the beauty ofMary's voice to be fully the commercial listeners ofMTV and the would give you a little feedback on some frrst albwn I have ever seen that has an realized. While it is a strong album, it does like will get a feel for a real hip hop artist of the hottest titles out there. Listen at anti-theft device inside the physical jewel not seem to have the staying power of instead of the dance music turned out by your own risk: case. some of her previous releases. the likes of Puff Daddy and Will Smith. 01? Dirty Bastard Mary J. Blige Noreaga Melvin Flynt - Da Hustler is definitely N***a Please Mary Melvin Flynt? Da Hustler worth a listen and I fullyexpectitto be one Rating: ** (out of a possible*****) Rating:*** Rating: ****and? of the hottest releases of the year. Everyone's favorite insane man of hip Many R&B fans regard Mary J. Blige Noreaga has followed up on his solo MobbDeep hop is back with anew albumthatpromises as the Queen of Soul, and I am certainly debut project in style. Nore laces this Murda Muzik to be even less understandable than his not one to disagree with that analysis. release with the perfect mix of hardcore Rating: **** debut. This album is not for the faint of Ever since I listened to My Life, Mary has street rhymes and fun, nonsense lyrics. It is quite possible that no album has heart. 01' Dirty's style is eccentric to say always held a special place in my heart. ·Nore is everything that people like Mase, been more ea~erly awaited this year than the least. There are essentially no tracks However, if you are looking for Mary to Cam'ron, and The Lox strive to be: a legiti­ the new offering by Mobb Deep. Since on the album that have a chance of reach­ compare with her unforgettable second mate street rhyming force, yet who can still "Quiet Storm" was dropped as a single in ing the airwaves. The second track, "I release, you will be rather disappointed. make people dance and have fun. The track the spring, hip hop heads have worked up Can't Wait" is an interesting, high tempo While this album is enjoyable, it seems to "Sometimes" is an excellent song that re­ a hunger for the new Mobb Deep. Despite song that personifies ODE's ad lib style. In lack originality and creativity. It uses a veals the struggle that Nore deals with on the numerous delays in the release of the song he "gives a shout out to the formula similar to her previous albumShare a daily basis, "Sometimes I wanna cry and Murda Muzik, it does not disappoint. For Eskimos and a shout out to the subma­ My World, and the tracks don't flow to­ pray, sometimes I wanna chill and true fans of hip hop, the Infamous is back rines." This album has little mass appeal, gether very well. In all honesty, I am layYsometimes I got money and I still feel with another album loaded with hardcore, it can best be appreciated by a true fan of perhaps being to hard on Mary. Since she broke." "Gangsta's Watch" is a pure street life tracks. The 74 minute album the Wu-Tang Clan and someone who en­ is one of the best, I tend to hold her up to hardcore track with a beat that is haunt­ provides all the vivid, violent rhymes and joys ODB for his complete lack ofsensibil­ an extraordinarily high standard. The first inglycatchy. "Da Hustla" is the anthem for serious beats that we would expect from ity. The album is laced with graphic sexual single offthe album, "All That I Can Say" his new alterego , MelvinFlynt-Da Hustler, this dynamic duo from Queensbridge , NY. content. ODB makes no bones of his is making itselfheard on the airwaves, and and is a song that forces a listener to bop The album opens with the solid "Streets fondness for sex and his blatant degrada­ the song has a nice, smooth feel that starts his head. In "First Day Home," Nore drops Raised Me," a smooth track with solid tionofwomen. However, toloveOl'Dirty the album off in style. My favorite song, my favorite line of the album illustrating rhymes and vocals from Chinky. "Quiet is to accept him as a complete farce, a comic "NotLookin," is a duet sung with K-Ci of Noreaga's knack for humorous lyrics: Storm" is undoubtedly the cornerstone of book-like character who plays up to ·an Jodeci. It tells a tale of two people in a I just came home, the CD and the remix featuring Lil' Kim is a image. The track "Good Morning Heart­ relationship with quite different expecta­ I ain't got no loot. nice compliment. Mobb Deep surprises ache" allows us a slight glimpse into the tions. K -Ci proclaims that he's "riot lookin' I ain't tryin to sell drugs, listeners with "Spread Love," an anthem soft, gentle side ofODB. The song, a duet for no love affair," while in contrast, Mary I ain't tryin to shoot. that encourages us to 'Spread love, not with female vocalist Lil' Mo, is a sensitive is simply "not lookin' for.no player sh**." I'm tryin to be a good Ni**a, war, just think about your kids, how they ballad oflost love and anguish which ODB The track is a classic R&B duet in the even wearin' a suit. need you alive for your guidance, you not only co-wrote but also supplied the truest sense and given the formerrelation­ But the only job I got is to·make hot should spread love, not war, cuz' death horns on. It is a little known fact that ODB ship between these two, it gives the song soup. hurts whole families, imagine its your mom has a true niusical talent. He is an excellent a strong emotional context. Another song, In "OhNo,"Nore gives us with another who grieves." However, the Mobb stays classical pianist and can play several in­ "No Happy Holidays" is vintage Mary, a catchy chorus and a single that cannot be true to their tough street image on "Can't struments, however, he often sacrifices song of pain and sorrow for loving a · oveilooked. This album lQOks to propel Fu** Wit" featuring a guest appearance his gifts for his "Dirt Dog" image, which married man. As she mourns "I'm in love Noreaga further into the realm ofcoouner­ byRaekwonofWu-TangClan. Anyfanof gives him an abundance ofattention ( usu­ with a man who can never be mine," her cial appeal. Despite the platinum success true East Coast hip hop owes it to himself ally negative). I cannot recommend this classic anthem "Not Goin' Cry" comes to ofhisN.O.R.E. album,heisstillnotwidely to own Murda Muzik. 8 ======Friday, October 1, 1999 THE AMicus Sari's Answer to Why it gets so cold in the Law School

By Sari Benmeir indicates that the average law school tem­ know two things: (1) What is the technical And to go further, guys are the very The question that I'm sure is on perature hovers well below the "ideal" reason for why it is so farking cold in the reason for the frigid temps to begin with, everyone's lips is "Has the second law temperatureof72°F(22.2 °C}. (l'msucha law school whenever the AC is running? since they generally control the building caused the latest tuition hike?" Ofcourse, science geek that I actually know how to Perhaps there is a reason like: "Because temp. I'vetriedflirtingwithand/orbribing I'm referring to the second law of thermo­ convert from centigrade to Fahrenheit. the building was built in 1969 and the the maintenance guys to raise the temp, dynamics, not some nebulous legal prin­ I frequently pass by Seasons of architect, as far as we can figure out, was but to no· avail; they claim the temperature ciple. For those ofyou not familiar with the Williamsburg on Jamestown Road (across highly addicted to hallucinogenic sub­ is controlled in Richmond.) concept, a scientific law is a law that is the street from the Gucci supermarket) and stances and hooked the AHU (air handling But anyway, actually the hallucino­ always known to be followed under every look at the temperature on the sign in order unit) up to the lights so that whenever the genic architect must have had a persecu­ condition ever observed, as compared to to compile a little chart with all the conver­ lights are turned on, the AHU comes on full tion complex, and added one innovative a legal law which is subjectto "interpreta­ sions. blast. feature to the building that you won't find tion" by judges and depends on the Of course, since the outdoor tempera­ Thus, we must always either have full­ anywhere else: windows that actually judge's hemorrhoids, pros, hangover, lot­ ture in Williamsburg never gets below 50 blast AC or full-blast heat. We cannot fix open! tery winnings, etc. °F, I have had to use actual numerical this problemwithout removing all the lights. Thus the solution to the law school , The second law of thermodynamics conversion skills to calculate the 0.17° K Such a project, as funded by the state, temperature problem is the ·same year has to do with heat transfer and ultimately (that's Kelvin, where 0° K = -273.15° C) would take 7 to 10 years, during which time round: grab a window seat and open up. 1 the efficiency ofheating and cooling units. readings I got in the law library. ) we could be in keeping with the Colonial Feel the breeze as our yearly tuition hike Those of you who are familiar with my Not to fear, I am adept at these calcula­ Williamsburg tradition and go to school goes where we always suspected it did: bitching and complaining (and I refer to tions, as exhibited by my years ofteaching by candlelight." (2) Why the HELL does out the window. Steve Blailock) have figured out by now "1st year" Chern lab at UVA to Buffys, the air conditioner run when it is 50° out? In fact, rumor has it that the law school that the question presented is WHY THE Skips, Chips and Missys: "I'm sorry Ms. (For you IL's, justwait.) has been approached by a High Resolu­ HELL DOES THE AIR CONDITIONER Benmeir, but we always called it "Celsius" Tome,andmanyofmycolleagueswho tion Molecular Spectroscopist requesting RUN WHEN IT'S 50 DEGREES OUT­ at my Swiss boarding school." are not from Siberia or Minnesota, 50° is use of the law library to conduct his super SIDE??????????????? The best part about teaching that lab COLD, and is a temperature that requires low temperature experiments, thus saving As a result ofscientific data, collected was thatwemadeEVERYONE wear ridicu­ heating and not cooling. If indeed, the big bucks on expensive stainless steel as a result ofa scientific experiment, con­ lous green safety goggles. Even I had to problem is due to the hallucinogenic archi­ vacuum chambers, bizarre instruments ducted in a scientific manner with actual wear the goggles (no doubt committing a tect, flip the damn switch from cool to heat! called "bolometers" and extremely expen­ scientific equipment(as exhibited by mark­ fashion faux pas), but it was worth it justto All ofus who have wintered here know sive liquid helium which has an irritating ings in centigrade) I have determined that see the Duke of Argentina's daughter, the heat works. Some of the classrooms tendency to disappear for no apparent it is STINKIN' (to put it nicely for the tripping around in her Manolo Blahniks can tend to get quite "warm," and although reason. kiddies out there) cold in the law school. whilewearingtheultimateindorkyeyewear. actual beach attire has been discouraged, Then he can use the money he saved to I spent the entire summer after my first And they all would wear them, because I'm sure the guys enjoyed the thong biki­ pay himself a hefty salary, attend lengthy year shivering through Arctic temps and we woul~ flunk them if they didn't. Oh, nis. (Ooh,nowthewirnmencanaccuseme, conventions in Tahiti, and pay someone subjecting anyone who would listen to wouldn't they be pissed if they knew that an elderly female, ofbeing sexist-Yay! else to teach those pesky classes the de­ constant complaints, but now I have ac­ the only reason they were wearing such a And I can make a further sexist com­ partment still requires ofhirn, thus leaving tual proofl ridiculous accoutrement was for the amuse­ ment by stating that very few guys will him free to pursue the real meat ofhis job: My data, taken last year at my former ment ofthe instructional staff??? Hee, hee. understand this column, since they all writing grant applications. carrel on the first floor of the library, But I digress. I really and truly want to tend to be overheated in the first place.

lack oflong-term potential in our relation­ the person hearing this declaration didn't day; I just want to." Like anti-deodorant ASK ship. Should I dump him? stick around long enough to find out boy from statement #1, this person is in MADAME -Mortified onMerimac Trail whether it was true. denial. More specifically, this person is a EIGHTBAI.L 2) "Soap interferes with the body's drug addict. Unless you wantto go through Dear Mortified: natural cleansing process." This is really hell before settling down into a lifetime of TheEightballsays YES,DEFINITELY. a variation of# 1. The bottom line on these 12-Step meetings (should you be so lucky), Differing dental habits can cause some two is that one who is meticulous about don't pursue anything long-term with this serious issues down the road. Those who hygiene will eventually have issues with person. Real solutions to your real problems, take care of their gums and teeth probably one who does not. 5) ''No one reallypractices monogamy." featuring interpretations by the mysteri­ would have some serious issues kissing If both people have an aversion to What you should gather from this state­ ous Madame Eightball those who have a more nonchalant atti­ personal hygiene, they probably will get ment is that the person who says it does tude toward oral hygiene. Bad breath, along fine with each other. How they'll get not practice monogamy. And if you feel Dear Readers: however, would only be the beginning. I along with anyone else, though, is ques­ the same way, you two probably deserve Despite the fact that I've been inun­ see dentures in this man's future. tionable. each other. dated with letters over the past two weeks, You are very wise to be weary of such 3) "I prefer food to sex." This too can Those who don't should hear this time constraints have only allowed me to small, yet telling exclamations. All too beabadsign,particularlyifyoulikehaving statement as a warning. Variations of it answer one of them. But please keep often, infatuation causes people to over­ sex and especially if you like having sex include, "Open marriages are cool," ''Men forwarding all of your questions, no mat­ look statements that are indicative of fu­ with a thin person. Statements such as this instinctively need to spread their seed," ter how discombobulated, to "Madame ture incompatibilities. really mean "I don't like sex that much," and ''Drunk and out-of-towndon 'tcount." Eightball," c/o the Amicus' hanging file. My friends and I have found that cer­ which can suck for you ifyou don't feel the While not placing a moral value on tain words spell doom once they roll offof same way. commitment choices, ·it is important that Dear MadameEigbtball, a potential mate's lips. At the same time, "I must have sex you find someone who feels_the same way I've been on a few dates with this guy, Granted, this is predicated on the fact every day, preferably more than once a you do. and he's said a couple things that have that one has the opposite attitude of the day," can be just as foreboding. Unfortu­ Ultimately, it is important to listen care­ disturbed me. Once he said that he didn't person saying the words of doom. nately, one usually doesn't find this out fully to what your dates say about their trust dentists, and another time he men­ Some of the more alarming statements until after they've developed an attach­ personal habits. tioned that he dido 't like to brush his teeth· heard have included: ment to the person in question. It is just as important to listen to those at night because doing so ''woke him up." 1) "I don't wear deodorant because I But if you hear these statements early bells and whistles that go off in your head While I haven't noticed any halitosis yet, don't smell." While the person who said on, I'd recommend saving yourself frus­ when you hear things that offend your I feel that these statements are indicative may have been truly exceptional, it is more tration and getting out early. own sensibilities. After all, that's what of poor dental hygiene and, therefore, a likely that he was in denial. Let's just say 4) "I don't have to smoke pot every- those first few dates are for. Friday, October 1, 1999 THE AMICUS 9 Movie Review

Dinner and a Movie, Willia01sburg Style • • •

By Nancy Lee and Jessica Norris cause it genuinely provided many laughs, club' references and LAWYER JOKES! a good way to spend 'hurricane eve' or as So, we went out and risked our lives to as we saw the burgeoning relationship The plot even includes stuff near and dear a fun alternative to reading for class! go see a movie for the Amicus. Devoted between Seth and Chelsea grow more and to law students, particularly in the areas of journalists are we. After finding out that more psychotic, and attendantly, more Contract and Family Law. _ So in sum, we totally recommend this classes were cancelled, we decided that a and more hilarious. movie! Lots of laughs, fun, and oddly celebration was in order, so we treated Chelsea is a beautiful, supermodelish NL: Ifyou can believe it, Chelsea tries enough, a plethora offormer Seinfeld char­ ourselves to a gounnetmeal from Taco Bell woman who falls victim to the desire of to sue SetQ for palimony stating that she acters, such as J. Peterman and Banya! lfs and snuck the food into the theater, where marriage, at any price. She chooses Seth gaveupherjob(nottomentionherlovin?) also great to see French Stewart in a non­ we found our plush red seats in a private as her mate,a fate many guys would prob­ because he promised to marry her. The Third Rock role (and ladies, he's not bad viewing room (i.e., nobody was freaking ably jump at the chance at, but as the age­ events that ensue after this plotline is looking in this movie). out in there!) ..,. old saying goes, be careful what you wish introduced are totally funny, and at times This movie is definitely not the wocst The movie we chose for this review is for, you just might get it! And get it Seth shocking. way to spend $6.50. To make the experi­ -Love Stinks, starring: FrenchStewart(Seth), does, as she uses every trick in the book I think that as a result of this film half enceevenmorefun,goanddowhatwedid: the zany, squinty alien from Third Rock to manipulate her way to the altar. the viewing population (namely members try to see which Love Stinks characters from the Sun; Bridgette Wilson(Chelsea), ofa specific sex which will remain unspeci­ match the personalities of your class­ who played a psychotic, money-grubbing JN: This is the story of a sickeningly fied here) will check their shampoo bottles mates! biatch from HELL; Bill Bellamy (Larry), sweet new relationship that quickly turns every time they wash their hair.. . Seth's best friend; and Tyra Banks (Holly), sour, narrated by Seth and Larry from the as Bellamy's wife~ bathroom of a plane bound for Las Vegas JN: That is just a sample of the fun. Personally, we both thought that this (yes, they are both in the bathroom to­ Seth is a big time comedy writer, and the movie was hilarious. If you guys are gether). plots of his TV show mirror his own rela­ waiting ~or a serious movie review, you While the subject matter is sometimes tionship from hell. might have to wait awhile since we are 2L's frighteningly serious (just imagine having Unfortunately, the ratings plummet as in themidstof2L-Hell, and we need all the a psycho beast wanting to walk down the the relationship sours, only to recover at laughs we can possibly get (without mak­ aisle with YOU), the movie is still great fun. the end. I'm not going to give away the ing too many trips to the Greenleafe). This flick has everything needed for a ending, other than to say that you will be modern comedy: digestive humor, stupid cheering! NL: I really enjoyed this movie be- pet tricks, Elvis impersonators, 'mile high This movie definitely gets my vote for

Hampton Town Center 24 Carmike Cinema Four Williamsburg Crossing 896-2330 229-6333 253-2299 American Pie (R) Inspector Gadget _(PG) BlueStreak (PG-13) Double Jeopardy (R) 2:20 4:40 7:10 3:20 5:30 7:30 9:30 7:15 9:15 7:15 9:30

An Ideal Husband (PG-13) Jakob the Liar (PG-13) Jakob the Liar (PG-13) For Love of the Game 9:30 4:20 7:10 10:00 7:00 9:30 (PG-13) 7:00 9:45

The Blair Witch Project (R) Love Stinks (R) Mumford (R) Outside Providence (R) 8:00 10:10 4:50 7:15 9:30 9:30

Blue Streak (PG-13) The Muse (PG-13) Runaway Bride (PG) Simon Sez (PG-13) 6:00 7:20 8:30 9:50 7:40 9:50 7:00 9:20 7:15 9:15 (Hampton cont') Bowfinger (PG-13) Outside Providence (R) Stigmata (R) 7-2.0 9:40 7:40 Teaching Mrs. Tingle(PG-13) 7:15 9:30 9:50 (R) R.lUlaway;Bnde · (PG) The Thomas Crown A1I3ir 10:00 7;® ~ 9:30 The Thoma8CrownAtTair(R) (It) 7:00 9-2.0 7::1.0 - 9:46 ' -. -The Sixth Serise (P(i-13) ·- 7~ ' 7:50 9:40. 10:10 - - . uni:v~soidier~TheRetum (NR} ­ -· (PG) Star Wars: EPiSOde I (PG) 3:SO- 5:50 ' - 7;'JD 9-.SO . 10 ======Friday, October 1, 1999 THE AMicus SBA Softball Tournament

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All photos by LaurenS. Fassler THE AMICUS CURIAE Sports Friday, October 1, 1999 11 - Learned Hand; the Best Ever? By Jeff Polich deep thought to ponder, but I digress. They might not beat your typical fire more than enough notice. This reporter For those of you browsing through the Having pitched two devastating losses to department or autoworker team, but I think intends to keep a close eye on the devel­ Amicus looking for biographies on famous Learned Hand and having umpired their they've got to be one of the best law oping situation. jurists with ridiculous names, go away. final triumph, I think that I am more than softball teams in the country. We?ll fmd Another men's team, the Slammin' Shy­ This article is about a much more current qualified to assess their talent. out for sure come springtime. sters, is lumbering along in the B le~gue , and important topic: SoftbalL Their offensive line-up is still giving me SPORTS REPORT: one game won, one game lost, and one Now, before anyone accuses me of nightmares? Spunky Gromelski bats first Once again, I am willing to report this game undecided. kissing anyone else's behind in order to and has the exceedingly annoying-habit of year on any and all 1M-related activities by Their season to date has been defined get a roster spot at the Charlottesville getting on base one way or another. MVP the students of Marshall-Wythe as they by a single moment in their last game. tournament, let me make one thing clear. I Lastelic bats second and is always on, take on drunk frat boys and hostile offici­ Down by two runs with two out, in the top was not rooting for Learned Hand, the even when he's slumping. ating crews in glorious competition. ofthe inning with outfielder Bob Morris on team that won the SBA softball tourna­ Then, with the bases two-thirds full, However, I do not spend my free time second, this reporter and captain of the ment last weekend. the Hand brings the hurt. By the time you skulking around the Busch Turf and the Shysters stepped to the plate with every Quite the contrary, even as I helped to serve your meatballs up to Divelbiss, Dow, Rec-Center looking for the results ofsport­ intention of looping one to shallow right. umpire the championship game, I was qui­ Kuehn, and West, they've got at least five ing events in which law students 4ave Just as the pitcher started his windup etly hoping that the 2L team would pull off runs in and you've got no outs. competed. the lights at Busch went out, not to come the upset. · Now you're in the position ofhaving to Nor do I purport to give totally accurate back on for the completion of the game. True, members ofthe winning team are get three of the next five batters, any of accounts of the events that I do hear The league has not yet announced how it some ofmy closest friends and colleagues whom would be in the top halfof any other about, but if you catch me in the hallways intends to finish the game. at school and have been for the past three line-up. You're lucky if you get two of or drop me a note, I will put your name in In protest, Bob Morris has declared his years. However, they were the overwhelm­ them. Now we're back to the top. It's the paper and you can send it back to intention to stand on second base until the ing favorites going into the tournament impossible. Omaha for all the kin to see. game is resumed. and as anyone aware of my annoying Like a cat who tir~s of playing with a That said, it appears as though more Finally, the co-ree team, Lawyers with idiosyncrasies should know, I hate the dead mouse, Learned Hand eventually than a few law students have ponied up Bats, has won its first two games and over dog. gives you a couple of pop-ups so you can their twenty-five bones and come out to shows no signs of slowing down. That, and the fact that certain unnamed bat. play softball on Busch Turf with varying In further action the 2L team, the 'Law members oftheir team contributed signifi­ Don't head for the john though, be­ degrees of success. Dawgs' continue to dominate the compe­ cantly to my swimmingly hung-over con­ cause you don't have time. Hit it on the Assault and Battery, the all men's ver­ tition in the Monday night mens B-League. dition on Saturday morning, sealed their ground? You'll never beat it. Hit it in the sion of Learned Hand, is off to a strong Channeling their anger at missing Mon­ fate as my least favorite team in the tourna­ air? They'll catch it. Hit it at the women? start, having won two games and tied day Night football the Dawgs finished the ment. You're still out. another. regular season with three victories and That said, they were dominating. I In a word, playing them sucks. I hated Some dissention was noted, however, only one last inning defeat to tarnish their should know; thanks to the general unwill­ it. But they were very good. They hit for after the tie during which A&B was forced record. ingness of the powers that be in the SBA power and average. They've got some to play a man down, while outfielder Tyler Powered by the home run hitting tan­ to implement the less than complex con­ speed. They have women who contribute. Dow sat idle in his dorm room Mr. Dow dem ofcaptainAdamD .oherty and George cept of the "Losers" Bracket, my team They field well. claimed ignorance ofthe game and decried Vogel (who hit three home runs and drove played Learned Hand twice in three games. They were so good that no other team management for not informing him by in seven runs last Monday night) the The fact that one team dominated by on Saturday finished within ten runs of phone. Dawgs have combined powerful hitting 3L's should have to be sacrificed to an­ them. I have never heard ofthat happening Management declared that a copy of with a stifling defense lead by their ace other team dominated by 3L's is another in the three years that I have been here. the schedule placed in his hanging file was pitcher Eric Smith.

More Clip 'n' Save Marshall-Wythe Trading Cards! Collect them all!! They're Big, They're Bad, They're 1L Superheroes ·

·--1 --- I I I I I ~ I I I I I I I I I : MichaelLacy : DennisSchmeider Beck:yBorowski RachelleKnieval 111 • • • • • • • • 'ill • •. II • • • •• • • • • • •.. II • • • • • •• • • ••.. II • • • • • • • • • • • .. 12 ======Friday, October 1, 1999THEAMICUS

.THE AMICUS CuRIAE Calendar of Events Friday,October1, 1999

Fall Fore! from SBA GolfTournament Grace When: November 5 at 9:00am (shot­ gun start) When: October 16 from 9:30- 12:30 Where: Golden Horshoe Green Where: Holiday Inn (Richmond ·Road by Cou:rse Outback) Price: $60, which includes greens fees, carts, range balls, bag of golf Price: $15 if paid by Oct 8; $17 if paid by Oct 15 (no ticket sales at the door) "goodies," continental breakfast and lunch For tickets drop your form and check made out to SBA in the box in the lobby. All proceeds go to Athletes for Char­ Come on out, have a good time and embarrass ity, a committee that raises money yourself on the dance floor. for the Virginia Special Olympics.

Please submit your entries for the Amicus Events Calendar to Bob Ford (2L), or the Amicus hanging file. Entries may includ~) activities sponsored by l~w school organizations, main campus or community events. __,~ More Clip 'n' Save Marshall- Wythe Trading Cards! Collect them all!! Look, up in the sky. Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, its alL Superhero!

~~----.-- I .. .,.. ------.EvilKnieval ·------·~ BlueLight : ·------·: The Menace : I Salt-Mine I I I I I . ·. . I I .gh · ki . I :lllegalinmoststates, the Dennis IRachelle"EVI1 "Knievahsthe 1 1 Becky"B1ueLI t"Borows IS 1 = :Withhiswaffsofblondehair, ~ 1secondha1fofthedynamicduo. 1 loneha1fofthe lLclasses 1 I "the Menace" Schmeider I I Michael "Salt-Mine"Lacyisa 1 1Notonlydoesshefightcrime 1 1 version ofthe dynamic duo. 1 I wreaks havoc on the Greene 1 1 hard to miss figure at the 1 I here at the Law Schoo1 but she I 1 Togetherwithherpartner,Evil 1 1Leafepatrons. Spryandnimble 1 1 Marshal1WytheSchoolofLaw. 1 1 is also an accomplished dare I 1 Knieval, she strikes fear in the 1 I the Menace can quote Property 1 I Unbeknownsttomost, Michael 1 ldevil. Forhernextstuntshe I I hearts in thep'er-do-wells and. I I law and Eazy-E with uncanny 1 l alsoenjoystennis,popular I I intends to jump from the law I ·I vicious law enforcers who I I fluidityto confuse his enemies. 1 I music, and cross dressing. Here I lschoolbuildingtotheNational I I populate the law school. I l And then,justwhenhehas I l isshownmodelinganabsolutely I I Center for State Courts on her I I I l confusedyouenough,he I I fabulousKenneth-Co1e jacket. I . lmotorcycle. I I I l strikes. I I Heuseshisfashionsenseto I I I I I I I I confuse Leafepatrons at closing I I I I I I I l tim·e. · I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I ·------· ·------· ·----·-····-· ·------·