I dont think I got as ugly as I wanted to Jess Holland talks to the very beautiful PJ Harvey Page 10

No. 603 The Independent Cambridge Student Newspaper since 1947 Friday October 8, 2004 Trio’s appointment “My girls love the Conservatives” iona Symington puts Provost’s F authority in doubt King’s fellows to ‘advise and guide’ Dame Judith Mayhew in aftermath of bursar’s payoff

James Dacre those present that due process was not being followed, the motion was carried, resulting in Salmon’s dismissal. THREE FELLOW’s at King’s Before her appointment to Kings, College have been appointed to ‘advise Mayhew was head of the Corporation of and guide’ the college’s Provost, Dame London, and it was hoped that her cor- Judith Mayhew, following a year of con- porate experience would help improve troversial executive decisions that culmi- King’s financial situation. But fundrais- nated in the college being forced to agree ing success has so far been difficult to a substantial settlement with former come by.Since arriving at King’s, bursar Roger Salmon. Mayhew was Mayhew’s garden has been re-land- accused of sacking Salmon out of hand scaped, and the college has spent hun- at a public hearing into the matter of the dreds of thousands refurbishing the bursar’s November dismissal. bathrooms in the Provost’s lodge. This The appointment of the fellows, Dr expenditure has coincided with staff cut- Nicky Zeeman, Dr David Good, and backs and a reduction in the number of Professor John Dunn, is an extraordi- studentships available for post-graduate nary move by the college’s governing Provost Judith Mayhew study at the college this year. body. They have been termed ‘babysit- A permanent Bursar has yet to be ters’ by one senior member of the King’s and in the midst of a student appointed. At present Geoff Moggridge College, and will be likely to take a par- strike over rising rents. On 4th is acting as both Bursar and Lay Dean, ticular interest in decisions of a finan- November 2003, a exceptional Council and is responsible for the closure of cial nature. meeting was called at which the decision King’s Cellar and Vac Bars. Mayhew’s most public difficulty since to suspend Salmon pending further Furthermore, a budget has not yet been taking up the position in October 2003 investigation into the College accounts approved by the Governing body for this has been the exoneration of Roger was taken. Salmon and another member financial year - despite the fact that it Salmon, sacked for “grave neglect of of council were not informed of the began on 1st July. King’s was also five duty” in the midst of a furious student meeting, which is highly unusual. months late in presenting the University battle over rising rents. In sharp con- In a letter dated 18th November the with its accounts. With accounts due at trast, following a public hearing into the Provost then offered the Bursar the the end of last year, according to the circumstances of his dismissal, on 9th opportunity to question the findings of King’s Finance Office, the initial audi- July a joint statement was issued stating the Inspectors of Accounts, and a full tor’s report had not been signed before that he had “always acted with propriety disciplinary hearing should the matter 30th April. and complete integrity” and “showed proceed further. Instead, on 4th Varsity contacted the Provost’s office LAST NIGHT saw the arrival of Conservative Future’s annual party. great energy and commitment in the December at the Annual Congregation on Thursday with details of the sub- Tory donor and strip club owner Stringfellow cried, “Die, Tony, Die!” role.” While this drew Salmon’s dispute of all King’s fellows, Mayhew tabled a stance of this article, but received no Peter Stringfellow in the Cambridge to cheers from the crowd, according with the Provost to a close, within King’s motion for Salmon’s immediate dis- reply. The Senior Tutor, James Laidlaw, Union for the fresher’s debate,“This to the Daily Mirror. Cambridge there was great anger that Mayhew’s missal. The motion was not listed on the said that he was bound by a ‘legally- house believes the female of the undergraduate Daniel Deacon was actions cost the cash-strapped college agenda and no prior notice had been binding confidentiality agreement,’ and species is more deadly than the male”. amongst those present: he reported hundreds of thousands of pounds. It is given to either those attending the meet- that he could not comment on matters He was joined by Miss Canada, with that Stringfellow also announced thought to be in response to these events ing or Salmon himself, who, under the raised in this article as a result. whom he proposed the motion. that “my girls love the that fellows have acted. terms of his suspension, was banned Applications for the post of Bursar Stringfellow was in the news earlier Conservatives.” Salmon was sacked only one month from entering college grounds at the closed on 24th September. this week after his infamous club ºDan Deacon: my evening with after Mayhew had taken over as head of time. Despite objections from some of hosted the Tory youth movement Conservative strippers, page 6

MUSIC: SUPER SIZE RONI PAGE 22 OPINION: ELLEN E. JONES PAGE 8 FASHION: WINTER BLUES PAGE 27

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in association with Cambridge University Careers Service 2 NEWS October 8, 2004 www.varsity.co.uk CUSU Abortion row Magdalene motor mayhem Chine Mbubaegbu ‘Abortion Rights’, but to the fact that they are addressing the abortion issue at

CAMBRIDGE UNIVERSITY Pro- all. He says “Cambridge students will y Phillips life Society say they are ‘furious’ that rightly be appalled that their student CUSU’s Women’s Union have decided union is using their money to campaign Luc to ‘politically promote abortion on for a highly controversial political issue.” demand.’ Their concern comes after Jo Read, CUSU Women’s Officer, what they have interpreted as CUSU made clear that the CUSU Women’s Women’s Union promotion of an organ- Union is certainly “in the middle” on the isation called ‘Abortion Rights’ through issue of abortion. This CUSU depart- handing out stickers stating ‘I’m pro- ment are indeed affiliated to ‘Abortion choice and proud of it.’ ‘Abortion Rights’ Rights’, which means that they ‘liaise is an organisation that formed in 2003 as with them on their work campaigning a result of a merger between the for access to a woman’s legal right to Abortion Law Reform Association choose.’ She explained that the Women’s (ALRA) and the National Abortion Union have to work with other groups Campaign (NAC). with information in order to have the University pro-lifers are angered by structure in place to cater for the needs the CUSU Women’s Union’s affiliation of university women. This thought is to this organisation because, in a previ- echoed by the Director of ‘Abortion ous CUSU referendum that took place Rights’ who said that ‘young people in November 2000, 59% of the student should be able to access all the tools that body voted against an affiliation with the will help them make informed choices.’ NAC, who were believed to be in sup- Despite its affiliation to ‘Abortion port of abortion-on-demand and abor- Rights’, CUSU claim that all they offer tion-up-to-birth. is non-directional support and informa- According to Anne Quesney, Director tion. At the recent Fresher’s Fair, the Lucy Phillips back, handed the car keys and driv- mouth from the impact, he yelled of ‘Abortion Rights’ and former Co- CUSU stall gave away over 800 pro- ing licence to a passer by, and ran off. something at me and then ran off. I ordinator for the National Abortion choice stickers. These, according to Jo THREE MEN fled from a car The incident, which took place at was relieved that no passers by were Campaign, the policies of the NAC have Read, were not forced upon people but which careered along the pavement 2pm, caused traffic chaos througout hurt.” not been embraced by ‘Abortion Rights’. were simply used to promote the and ended up wedged between a row the city centre as the Police closed the Senior Bursar Andrew Thompson She says: “We are a new organisation for Women’s Union and had a positive of bollards and the wall of road while they carried out their inves- said that there had been “no major the 21st century, which is in support of response from students. Magdalene College last Monday. A tigations. The Police are currently try- damage [to the college wall], just some abortion on request within the current The University’s Pro-Life Society are white Volvo estate was driven at ing to trace reports that the men got scrapes on the stonework”. College time limit.” still very much angered by CUSU speed down Magdalene Street until away in a taxi. Marshall Bob Smith commented on Churchill student, Patrick Leahy, is Women’s Union’s actions and are com- blown out tyres caused it to come to A fresher from Magdalene, who had the narrowness of the street and said Campaigns Officer of the Pro-Life mitted to pursuing the issue further. A a halt close to the entrance of the only arrived in Cambridge two days that for the safety of cyclists, it ought to Society and Director of Studentlifenet, a representative of the society said that ‘a college, narrowly missing pedestrians before, was standing inside the college be made one-way. national coalition of pro-life students. number of individuals are currently tak- and cyclists. gates when she heard the crash. She An elderly lady from Cambridge was He says that the Pro-life Society are ing legal advice and are more than pre- The vehicle is said to have driven told Varsity “I saw the men climb out almost tipped off her bike as the car objecting, not just to CUSU Women’s pared to take this to court... CUSU will past 11 bollards before getting stuck. the back of the car and, as people tried skidded. “It was very frightening,” she Union’s voting members affiliate to be stopped.’ The men inside climbed out of the to help the driver, who had a bloody said: “I thought I was going to be dead.” Instant fines for dropping litter CU resists state school quota Sarah Marsh should be based on each university’s could be in breach of human rights leg- y Phillips actual entrance criteria rather than sim- islation if they discriminate against inde-

Luuc CAMBRIDGE UNIVERSITY has ply tallying points.” pendent school pupils when awarding controversially declared that it would The University fears that abiding by places. Professor Smithers argues that it resist Government pressure to discrimi- such a strict quota would compromise is as illegal to discriminate on education- nate against independent school pupils. the quality of entrants. It is significant al grounds as it is to discriminate on Director for Admissions, Dr Geoff that some 62% of students achieving grounds of gender or ethnicity. Parks, said the university was committed three A’s at A-level attend state-schools, Universities such as Bristol, Edinburgh to increasing the proportion of state which is closer to what Cambridge is and Warwick have been harshly criti- school students but would “ignore” the currently achieving, namely 58% state cized for their “social engineering”. new 75% benchmark published by the school students, than the new bench- Although Cambridge’s assertion of Higher Education Funding Council and mark which would be based on UCAS autonomous admissions policy has continue to set their own targets. points rather than A-level grades. earned approval, it remains to be seen A University Spokesperson insisted This backlash at the government how the government will respond. Some “every year we put more energy into our reflects a turn-around in the debate on fear the University will not be allowed to own outreach and access projects at admissions policies and positive discrim- charge the full top-up fees if they fail to Cambridge. However we believe that ination. A recent report by Professor meet the official benchmarks, but the the benchmarks set by the HEFC Alan Smithers warned that universities University has downplayed this threat. Residents back smoke-free city LITTER LOUTS in Cambridge will be fined £50 on the spot from now on. Lucy Phillips The results come after Cambridge mented that it was such a sucess they Council staff and police community support officers will have the powers to issue was hailed smoking capital of Britain in were ‘“now too busy!” fixed penalty notices to anyone seen littering the streets. FOUR OUT of five people in June. Research showed that people liv- Ms Weston emphasized that the issue Alastair Roberts, Cambridge City Council’s Anti-social Behaviour Officer, Cambridgeshire would prefer public ing in the CB2 1 area, which includes at stake was worker health and safety, the said: “Litter is a big problem in Cambridge. It is a real issue and we want to get places to be smoke-free, a survey has colleges such as Trinity, King’s and right to clean air rather than whether to grips with it. You only have to walk across Parker’s Piece on a sunny day to see revealed. The survey, carried out by ‘The Downing, spend more on cigarettes each people should be smoking or not. the evidence”. Big Smoke’, showed that 80% of people year than anybody else in the country. So far, the only pubs in Cambridge to “It is a minority of people causing a problem for the majority and ultimately in the county would support a law to Jenny Weston, Tobacco Control and be completely smoke-free are The Free the bill for cleaning up is taken up by the residents of Cambridge. We are not make all workplaces smoke-free. Alliance Co-ordinator for Press, in Prospect Row, and The scoring points by issuing fines, the purpose is to educate people and make them It shows that the 16-24 age group, Cambridgeshire Public Health Cambridge Blue, in Gwydir Street. take responsibility by putting rubbish in bins.” Mr Roberts added, “There are which had the highest proportion of Network, said “Cambridge City The situation in Cambridge follows a enough bins if people use them.” smokers, were the least bothered by Primary Care Trust and the City nationwide trend for smoke-free public If caught by the enforcement officers offenders are given the chance to pick up tobacco smoke. Council are working towards making all places after the success in New York and their litter and put it in the bin but if they refuse they are given the choice The British Medical Association esti- working environments smoke-free with- Ireland. Ms Weston said that increased between an on-the-spot fine or going to court. The cost of taking litter bugs to mates that at least 1000 people die each in the next 5 years.” They have devel- restrictions would make it much more court is prohibitive so the council believe that the fines will make it much cheap- year in the UK of lung cancer from oped an action plan in which all NHS difficult for people to smoke and would er to enforce the rules. Money made by the fines will be put back into street exposure to second hand smoke. and local authorities will be smoke-free therefore have a positive impact on the cleaning. Recent research in Australia has also within the next year. nation’s health. Student reaction to the scheme has been positive although some think that the shown that no-smoking areas fail to pro- “We are also very keen to work close- Five of the UK’s leading pub compa- fine is excessive. Emma Hardy, a second year Classicist from New Hall, said “I tect people from other people’s tobacco. ly with the hospitality industry and alert nies, including Greene King and think it’s a good idea as it’s important to keep the streets clean. I must admit that Studies prove that ventilation systems them to the dangers of second hand Enterprise Inns, have already pledged to I hadn’t really noticed too much of a problem before though.” may reduce the smell of cigarette smoke smoke.” She cited the example of a pub ‘regulate smoking at the bar by the end Lucy Phillips but do nothing to guard against the real in nearby Waterbeach which has recent- of the year’ and make ‘80% the indoor health dangers of secondary smoke. ly banned smoking. The landlord com- area smoke-free by 2009’. NEWS www.varsity.co.uk October 8, 2004 3

VC pushes modern agenda Professor Richard: Quote, unquote Tom Ebbutt talks to Professor Alison Richard one year on IT’S DIFFICULT to envisage what means Cambridge already leads the lenges ahead with department de- the life of a Cambridge Vice- national field in what Professor Richard mergers underway both in SPS and Chancellor is like at the best of times. calls “putting our money where our Engineering. Although departments However, for a new incumbent in the mouth is”. This year, she says, the have the final say in such issues, year that top-up fees dominated the University as a whole should build Professor Richard seeks to allay fears University and the political agenda, upon that announcement and cement that this could lead to a narrowing of leading to that final agonising Cambridge’s position at the head of the Cambridge’s famously broad degrees. Commons vote, the sheer scale of the field when it comes to attracting those “As I go around talking to students I task is unimaginable. who are not normally found in can tell they really value the freedom to Professor Richard seems to have rid- Michaelmas’ matriculation photos. move, for example, within the natural den it out and emerged with the same “I don’t believe that the composition sciences. Certainly the academic staff undimmed enthusiasm for the job - of our student body should be primari- with whom I’ve spoke also see the value perhaps with a little less outward ener- ly driven by a kind of anomalous pric- of that flexibility.” ffice

gy than at the same time last year. ing structure” she asserts. “Have we met She also recognises the concerns of ess O From her office, she looks back on the goals that we believe we should students as Colleges seek to maximise r the issue that produced highly polarised have? No, not yet, but we’re closer”. revenue from other sources - confer- opinion with both satisfaction in the Professor Richard is optimistic about ences being the prime example. “There CU P Bill’s successful passage, and recogni- the future. “I’m really hopeful this year, is always a tension between what you The private/state divide tion of the relationships that were dam- I mean last year was bound to be a dif- have to do for the short-term balancing “The playing field is not flat… but I think its too easy to sit here and say its noth- aged in the process. ficult year… but with Wes [Streeting] I of the budgets and what you would like ing to do with us.” “We went through a very serious am hoping that we can really work to do in the long term…” process that was good... It was not an together with CUSU and with the stu- There are regrets – the pulling out On new colleges easy year last year, especially with the dents more generally, on the efforts to of the Primate testing centre the most “It seems to me the really interesting question is do you want to add more col- students and with CUSU’s leadership widen participation because that is a obvious. There is delight, however, at leges or more beds per college or do you actually want to think about what the col- on that but it was serious and so on we really good thing for everybody to do the active role that Cambridge is play- legiate experience could mean for say married students with children or post-doc- go.” and it would be really great for everyone ing in the life of the nation. “There is toral staff.” Now she hopes that the University to find a way to do that together.” a great emphasis on the University’s will refocus. Though the Regent House Professor Richard recognises this, contribution to society as an econom- Gillian Evans is yet to vote on the introduction of and at the same time faces challenges to ic driver but I believe the University “I am a total believer in academic freedom but I don’t think that is appropriate top-up fees, her focus has already her new approach from national inter- contributes in a much, much wider for me to engage in debates with any members of the University through the pages moved on and after an episode which ference in Cambridge’s access efforts. way.” of the media. So I don’t.” saw the University’s relationship with Commenting on HEFCE benchmark- Suggestions that Professor CUSU stretched to breaking point, she ing, she says “It’s no good to have goals Richard’s profile is not high enough Intellectual Property Rights has a new message for the University: that make no sense to us” – and by the seem likely to fade over the next few “Professor Cornish’s views are very thoughtful…. I thought that report moved the issue of access is one we can all ever increasing number of top A-level weeks. The same can be said for any the issue forward for Cambridge in a very helpful way.” unite around. grades – “getting a better take on the A- feeling that she might be regretting Last year’s announcement of the level results would be helpful to us”. the move back across the Atlantic: “its Using an overseas campus to cut University deficit means-tested bursary system, which is The University itself continues to even more wonderful than I had ever “It’s not where I would look to go.” to be introduced alongside top-up fees, reshape itself internally to face the chal- thought”. 4 NEWS October 8, 2004 www.varsity.co.uk Why Mayhew’s business is not King’s business COMMENT “ A woman who was clearly recruited to bring King’s into the 21st century JAMES DACRE has been criticised as being singularly intent on sending it into the last”

he modern rationale for the the past five years. Within her col- background will lead her to change like Mayhew, the rhetoric and rules to ensure propriety in the way existence of an Oxbridge lege, she has attracted most criticism the very ethos of King’s College, long imagery of King’s students can be they spend it. Personal affairs con- college is for it to serve the for her attempts to push King’s back regarded as the most progressive and difficult to swallow. cerning fellows are usually not dis- academic interests of its towards its distant past as one of left-wing Cambridge College, with a It seems that Mayhew’s major cussed with student members of gov- Tstudents. Colleges are central and Cambridge’s “traditional” colleges, state school intake of around 80 per- error has been to divorce herself from erning bodies of colleges. However, virtually autonomous bodies without ignoring its post-1960 record as one cent. There have been reports that student culture and opinion. She is when the issues are really financial which the University would barely of the most progressive of Colleges. plans are now being drawn up to rarely seen around the college. Her and not personal, they should not be exist. College authorities must there- A woman who was clearly recruited reduce this. executive methods appear derisive categorised as reserved business. It is fore assume the pastoral responsibil- to bring King’s into the 21st century In addition, Mayhew, having and suppressive of King’s politics. necessary to detail such matters in ities of caring for their students, a has been criticised as being singular- labelled King’s famous red bar a “den Her predecessor was never accused the open minutes of the meetings. If role of independent stewardship and ly intent on sending it into the last. of drinking and smoking” this sum- of being out of touch with the stu- an advisory body of fellows were set the control of a management struc- Two years ago, the King’s prospec- mer oversaw the painting of the red dent population. up to protect the college’s financial ture that must be kept secure so that tus proudly described integration walls cream, in a literal whitewash of This is partly because the way that interests, amongst other things, then a college can sustain itself financially. between students and fellows exem- King’s vibrant political history. In an she has chosen to manage the college this should have been made public. The primary interests of a college are plified by a mixed seating arrange- e-mail seen by the KCSU executive, is to heavily exercise the distinctly In a “Circular letter number not financial or commercial ones. ment in formal hall. Similarly, col- the Senior Tutor claimed that the executive power that she holds. The 20/99” issued by the Higher A college is more than just a busi- lege literature discussed how stu- choice of colour was so as not to heads of colleges should be legally Education Funding Council for ness. Academic prosperity and stu- dents have never recently been intimidate right-wing students. independent representatives over England, there are clear instructions dent welfare are contingent upon required to dress formally for any It is important that Cambridge has whom the fellows may exert some that “Institutions shall show the financial stability, but the running of college activities. Mayhew has re- a progressive college in the same way control. The head of a college is not aggregate amount of any compensa- a Cambridge college should not be instated a high table at mealtimes that it is essential for her to maintain like a headmaster or even a vice- tion paid” to senior management fig- arranged with this as a priority. The and demanded the wearing of suits aspects of tradition elsewhere. For chancellor, but a leader amongst ures “whose remuneration exceeded degree of tact and diplomacy for this year’s matriculation photo college management to counteract equals. £50,000 in the year in respect of loss required in the running of a college and supper; moves that have induced the college’s liberal atmosphere is to Mayhew might have alienated of office.” So, Salmon’s pay-off and the calming of its volatile popu- resentful protest and graffiti. regress from forty years of the col- both her students and many of her should certainly not be a secret. lation is enormous. Robin Butler, the Her determination to enforce a lege’s achievements in furthering colleagues. Her apparent misjudge- With university requirements such as master of University College Oxford College hierarchy has met with equality of opportunity within the ment in Salmon’s case seems to have room rents being fixed upon the was head of the Home Civil Service, resistance: at a dinner in February, university. To do so removes from her opened up a division between herself basis of how much money King’s has but upon reaching Oxford went on she stormed out after discussing everything that makes her distinc- and students, staff and fellows. Does and needs, students have a right to public record as saying that all the College politics with students, tive. The university admissions poli- this suggest that those fellows now know about serious financial losses skills that he had used at the top of claiming, “I have all the power. You cy grants prospective students com- appointed to guide the provost are experienced by the college. Why the civil service were completely use- have none.” However at subsequent plete autonomy in choosing their there to blur this distinction and should students pay enormous fees to less to the running of a college. dinners she has gone to extraordi- colleges and applicants choose King’s ensure that Mayhew is indeed a a college that can’t handle their Formerly head of the Corporation nary length to ensure she need not because of this distinction. leader amongst equals? money? of London, Dame Judith Mayhew speak to Student Union officers, for- In academia it seems that you are It is enormously difficult to was once seen as one of Britain’s going her place on the top table at et King’s has a reputation as respected for two qualities; scholastic acquire the intuition and experience most powerful women. Trained as an the Graduation dinner to avoid a place where controversial eminence, and an ability to hold your to run a college. There has been a employment lawyer, she regularly being seated near student activists politicking is often said to own in the cut and thrust of univer- long trail of major public figures that admits to hating confrontation. She such as Paul Lewis, former CUSU exist for the sake of contro- sity politics. Mayhew lacks an aca- have come into Cambridge and sim- is no stranger to controversy howev- President. Many believe these small versy.Y King’s must not appear to hold demic training and has shied away ilar institutions and walked out after er having spent four years driving incidents reflect a wider desire to an exclusively left-wing agenda. from colleagues. Furthermore, there a year of being unable to adapt to the legislation for voting reforms render King’s active student Union Right-wing students are never realis- has been increasing concern that university’s context. Salmon’s settle- through parliament. impotent. Are they indicative of a tically going to be intimidated by a matters are increasingly discussed ment may well cause simmering dis- Mayhew was expected to solve “culture of arrogance,” amongst sen- bar painted a Communist red, and under reserved business in college content to bubble over into revolt; King’s financial problems by attract- ior university figures that Professor King’s holds many conservative stu- council meetings. there is growing consensus between ing corporate endorsements and Gillian Evans condemned at such dents, but this is a nuance that only Colleges statutorily receive some oft-warring fellows and students sponsorship for a college that has length last week? someone in touch with student life public money from the money grant- alike that Mayhew’s appointment faced increasing financial crisis over Many believe that Mayhew’s city would understand. To an outsider, ed to the University but there are may well have been a mistake.

7-9pm Coco Bar Tuesday 12th October NEWS www.varsity.co.uk October 8, 2004 5

ADC alumni return for the reopening of the theatre after refurbishment Haw-king Lucy Phillips

PROFESSOR STEPHEN Hawking, Cambridge University’s Lucasian Professor of Mathematics, is more of a role model to teenage boys than David Beckham, according to a recent survey. The poll, by Good Housekeeping magazine, to find the man to whom boys aged 16 to 18 look up to the most, took into account the views of 500 teenagers across the country. Hawking was quoted in the magazine saying, “Over the years I’ve been voted the second most intelligent person and was amused to be among the world’s ten sexiest men. But i’m honoured to be an inspiring role model. Thank you.” The news comes as a relief after recent criticism that all teenaged boys are inter- ested in is television and computer games. Beckham came third in the poll with England Rugby World Cup hero Jonny Wilkinson taking second place. y of the ADC es t Top Ten Teenage

Cour Role Models Alice Harper The emphasis at the reception was To remind guests just how much could, he joked, be excused. very much on the link that the theatre ADC alumni had contributed to theatre, One anecdote reported Peter Hall’s 1 Stephen Hawking MONDAY EVENING saw the provided with the outside world, be it Sir Geoffrey Cass, Chairman of the the- response when asked why Cambridge 2 Jonny Wilkinson reopening of Cambridge’s ADC theatre, Cambridge or the more expansive world atre’s Development Appeal, read out produced such famous alumni: 3 David Beckham with a reception sprinkled with patrons of the theatre in general. Professor notes sent from absent alumni ranging “Cambridge does not have a drama and famous alumni, such as John Alison Richard, Vice Chancellor of from Sam Mendes to Trevor Nunn. department.” He went on to add, “In 4 Lennox Lewis Madden, director of Shakespeare in Love, Cambridge University, said that the Hytner, who also gave a speech at microcosm, the ADC is an image of the 5 Ricky Gervais and Nicholas Hytner, Artistic Director ADC was “the gateway to the gateway the celebration, highlighted the fact theatre world outside. You have to 6 Vinnie Jones of the National Theatre. Phase two of of the university…what finer gateway to that the last four directors of the temper academic rigour with the vulgar 7 Jeremy Clarkson the refurbishment, which concentrated the community than through the National Theatre (Trevor Nunn, demands of showbusiness.” Following 8 Sir Richard Branson on the foyer and back stage areas, was ADC.” She stressed that, with a third of Richard Eyre and Peter Hall being his the reception, guests saw the CAST 9 Steven Redgrave undertaken over the summer and will be plays put on coming from Cambridge’s predecessors) have read English at production of As You Like It, which 10 David Jason followed eventually by an overhaul of the general population, the ADC provided Cambridge, as well as being ADC reg- recently toured America, and a foot- auditorium itself. an important link with the town. ulars. The fifth, Laurence Olivier, light smoker. www.varsity.co.uk October 8, 2004 ANALYSIS 6 From Blue Rinse to Red Light Fiona Symington Dan Deacon finds that the Conservative party has some novel recruitment tactics

he Conservatives are dying: had to prepare some semblance of New Labour has stolen the Conservative opinion just in case, Tmiddle ground; the Liberals amongst all the nakedness, I was attract the ‘enlightened’ and passionate engaged in a discussion about the state young; UKIP have colonised the of immigration in this country. ‘unenlightened’ and passionate old. As Fortunately I was not. All the one political commentator recently Conservative boys were ‘engaged’ in asserted, Conservative policy isn’t the unleashing those adolescent woes, problem: it’s personality and presenta- while the Conservative girls looked on tion. Yet the Tories have survived with a a kind of stunned curiosity, pre- downturns in their fortunes many sumably wondering if the whole event times before, and come back to govern couldn’t have simply been held in a bar. Peter Stringfellow and friend at the union last night. No dancing girls were present, although Miss Canada was again. With such a deteriminedly sur- I’m afraid not, ladies: the Conservatives vivalist history, can they really be on are diversifying, and holding their that incisive political mind, had the get-together in the midst of naked are you a Conservative?’ ‘Yes,’ I replied. the way out? annual parties in strip clubs is a sure- solution for all the party problems. It women willing to sell you a lap dance ‘Well you know, its funny, because I am As Hartlepool’s town hall was still fire route to appealing to 50% of the was not the party, or the leader, or the for £20. Yet, as my friend reminded voting Republican and they are being cleared up, and the fallout of the population. policies: all the party had to do was get me, its actually the embodiment of Conservative.’ by-election assessed, I ponder this Suddenly the music stopped and the Sun back on side, and all would be consumerism and free market capi- What one must remember in these question whilst staring at a pair of large the dancers scuttled off. Then, the big well: ‘’Cos if the Sun says vote talism- essentially, everything, even a situations is that the girls will say and breasts attached to an incredibly thin moment: the appearance of the man Conservative, those 10 million buggers buttock or a breast, has a price. The do whatever they feel will work in blond woman. Momentarily I step himself, Peter Stringfellow (and his will vote Conservative.’ A statement arrangement for the evening was that order for you to give them £20 for a back from my analysis of contemporary hair), on the raised stage. He had a filled with hope about the health of our the young Conservatives had unlim- private lap dance. In normal circum- party politics to take in a broader view- speech prepared, designed to invigorate democracy. Nonetheless, I felt Pete had ited champagne and girls dancing stances, one might hear ‘wow, you’re so three pairs of large breasts, three danc- the troops, telling us: ‘Howard’s our not thought this through. Why was he from 8pm to 10pm. After that point handsome... you have great muscles.... ing thin girls and the three poles that man, no more disloyalty.’ (Cheers of preaching to the converted and paying we would have to pay for dances and are you stressed from work?’ But in they spin on. The view broadens again; agreement.) ‘This government is for all the champagne and nakedness? drink because, as Pete reminded us, preparation for an evening’s employ- I am in a room with over three hundred killing us with tax.’ (Bigger cheers of Why not throw open the doors of the he is a Conservative. At 10pm pre- ment surrounded by young people; none of them are over 25, and agreement.) ‘This Iraq thing is terrible, Stringfellows night club every evening cisely, I stood watching the no longer Conservatives, these girls had clearly all clutch to their free glass of cham- war is terrible, but it’s not going to and give free girls and champagne to free entertainment. One girl stroked read up on their Neo-Con ideology. pagne (sourced from the evening’s matter to the electorate.’ (Hey, hey, hey, the readers of the Sun? If his macro- me. I looked at her and she intro- Eva declared, in her underwear,: ‘You unlimited supply) like babies to their Pete, my man, stay on script will you, economic analysis was true, then surely duced herself as ‘Eva’ who was born know, Daniel, I am with the rattles. I am at a strip club. old Howard just spent a week telling us the Conservatives’ tax policy would in Portugal but was a citizen of Conservatives: we need to hunt down And not just any strip club: I am at it will matter to the electorate.) ‘You retrieve any losses in the long term, and America. and kill these evil terrorists.’ ‘Stringfellows,’ that revered institution know, my girls love the Conservative we might all get to enjoy the sight of Stringfellows proved itself an exem- The Conservatives may be dying, which, as a lad, I gazed upon imagining party. They do… I tell them, look, Lord Stringfellow of Breastshire in the plar of the capitalist system, because as but for as long as its funds are used to it contained all the solutions to my ladies, I’ll explain the difference not so distant future. soon as our ‘two hour free-view’ was entertain its current hopefuls in this adolescent woes. The occasion is a between being a Conservative and over, these girls got to work. Now, usu- way, it will be a far more enjoyable party celebrating the ‘Conservative being Labour: about three grand extra learly there is a none-too- ally in these first-time-meeting-a-hot- death than most in this country would Future.’ Shifted (verb used to imply a in your pocket each year- and they’re subtle paradox contained in a girl situations I have to think of things enjoy. And, after all, isn’t that what great deal of reluctance on my part) all Conservative!’ The best was yet to Cparty of moral virtue and to say, but not with this young woman being a Conservative is all about? onto the guest list at the last minute, I come, though. For Peter Stringfellow, Victorian values holding an annual - she was extremely forthcoming: ‘So,

ANALYSIS “Whether these figures were hit upon by accident or cynical design ARCHIE BLAND is a moot point: what is clear is that they are nonsensical ”

here is nothing particularly sur- demic level, and using this to define dents with a plethora of mediocre AS won a place at Oxford, which must have or those whose child did not get a place prising about the government’s what the balance in institutions like levels are unlikely to be suitable for edu- softened the blow a little; but this didn’t despite a fantastically expensive school- Tdecision to raise the benchmarks Cambridge ought to be, too. So because cation at Cambridge. stop the Sunday Times running the story ing would seem to. that it sets universities like Cambridge 63% of students in the country who This is why university admissions as an example of what’s wrong with Our educational system as a whole is again this year. Despite the fact that received 3 As, Cambridge’s standard tutor Geoff Parks is bemused, and he has Oxbridge admissions. a different story, but to blame the last these are always well ahead of where offer, are at state schools, it is suggested a right to be. He called the figures ‘a lit- The proof that the annual ritual of rung on the ladder for the failures which Russell Group institutions actually are that something like the same proportion tle bit perplexing,’ and added, for good flagellation of our universities’ admissions occur as the first foot has barely left the on widening access, it is clearly politic of undergraduates here should be from measure, that the university will ignore procedures is a good percentage nonsense ground is a smokescreen. So, indeed, is to appear to be moving forwards in the same sort of background. the new benchmarks – which seem is in the way these bits of spurious anec- the state/private measure: after all, going terms of the social balance of our uni- So far, so reasonable. What is harder rather pointless anyway, holding as they dotage are regularly turned to argue two to state school may merely mean that versities, in principle if not in practice. to follow is the alteration in the process do no material consequences for those mutually exclusive cases. If the pupil is there was a very good state school near What is certainly unusual is the scale of this year, which used net UCAS points universities which make no attempt to Laura Spence, and from a state school, home. What’s much more telling is that the leap in the expected intake of state instead of A level grades. Now, lots meet them. Whether these new figures the university in question is inherently under 5% of students at Cambridge are school educated pupils: the percentage more people receive an equivalent to 3 were hit upon by accident or cynical biased against all but the wealthiest; if it’s from the worst off social groups, and this has gone from the low sixties to the mid As worth of UCAS points than receive design is a moot point: what is clear is Tsz Fok, they’re the proponents of a das- figure shows no sign of changing. If this seventies. three As, simply because there isn’t a that they are nonsensical. They emerge, tardly attempt at social engineering. The is to be addressed, the first step is: recog- The reason for this, predictably strict rule on how one can rack them up: coincidentally, and inevitably, in the way these bits and pieces balance out nise where the first step is. The solution enough, is the change in the method the points achieved in three low-rank- same week as yet another prospective proves nothing – except, perhaps, that to the shameful lack of educational used to calculate the appropriate ratio. ing AS results add up as part of the student with an extraordinary array of A institutional bias in any direction is much opportunity for those who are most The government’s estimates work by same tally as points received in the more grades was turned down. This time, the harder to find than those who wish to lay deprived can hardly be said to lie in taking the proportion of the country as significant exams, and you can take as unlucky applicant was Solihull’s Tsz Fok, the blame for this country’s failures in changing an irrelevant criterion for an a whole which receives a certain aca- many such exams as you like. But stu- who achieved 8 As and 2 Bs. He later education at the door of ‘elitism’ imagine, impossible one. Careers Service events

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Michael Fordham “It is quite extraordinary how many people are packed into Kelsey Kerridge sports hall” Travel Editor [email protected] Oliver Batham Idler Editor [email protected]

Alice Harper Jason Donovan: hero for Theatre Editor [email protected] Ned Beauman Music Editors Jessica Holland [email protected]

Nicola Simpson the top-up fees generation Classical Editor [email protected]

Agata Belcen Film Editors Lucy Styles can’t say it’s been easy for me cess of gaining a place at Cambridge [email protected] coming to terms with the fact You couldn’t wish for brings out the slightly wanky side in that I’m going to have to work “ most of us, eventually. You need only Rachel Willcock for a living. God, no. It’s occa- a better spiritual Ellen stand still at any Cambridge social Literature Editor [email protected] sioIned more that one night of sob- gathering and listen for a moment to bing into my pillow, wailing “Why education than a E hear it. All the competing conversa- Sally Jennings me?” at no-one in particular, “Why tions, (“Oh rilly? You’re at Natsci at Fashion Editors Johanna Z-Sharp don’t I have a sodding trust fund?” No brief stint of Trinity?...No, no. He was rusticated [email protected] one could accuse me of being the self- massive celebrity Jones at Michaelmas”) gradually blend into pitying type, but I don’t mind reveal- ” one long neigh - the neigh of self- Adam Edelshain ing it’s been a real struggle and I must congratulation. Sport Editor [email protected] admit, I do find the omnipresence of A rare moment of introspection Careers Advice rather insensitive at might even prompt you to ask your- Abi O’Reilly this, most difficult, of times. self, “Who is this red-wine swilling, Sub Editors John Howlett Constantly, they’re badgering me education than a brief stint of massive Humility, like the fish-nets he over-confident person I’ve become? about the need to get some work celebrity, followed by a life-time of donned for The Rocky Horror Show, This person who laughs loudly at Will Smith experience and put together a CV being considered nothing more than can be a challenging look for a man Latin jokes and thinks it’s acceptable Design consultant and blah blah blah. Is it my fault that a stray bit of naff pop culture detritus. his age, but he wears it so well. to converse in a language composed Ifti Qurashi whenever I’m about to turn off the I’ll admit to reserving a special corner entirely of elitist abbreviations, public Production Managers David Wyatt telly and start updating my CV, I of my heart for boy band also-rans Failure, rejection, school slang and archaisms?” I might immediately stumble upon that holy and forgotten one hit wonders, but “ occasionally be tempted to flush my Rachel Wolf grail of daytime television, the one, as there is also a special something public humiliation: own head down the toilet, were it not Thanks to Ivia Tang yet unseen, Friends re-run? Is it? about this celebrity sub-group, which a physical impossibility. It would be sheer folly to even con- cannot be denied. Like his spiritual these are some Thankfully, the wisdom which Eve Williams template getting off my arse, when successors, Mark Owen and John and only failure teaches is not so far out of Business Manager [email protected] television still has so much to teach Terry from East 17, Jason Donovan of the best things reach as a Cambridge education me. Are there any secrets of the was successful without any unique that can happen might suggest. A quick channel hop human heart not amply explored by a talent to justify it and too much good from BBC news to ITV’s ‘The X fac- Email the business manager to enquire single episode of Trisha? And surely sense to pretend otherwise. to a person tor’ is enough to demonstrate the fate about placing adverts. there is no more accurate demonstra- Fickle fate, nonetheless, saw fit to ” which awaits us on graduation. The Letters for publication should be posted tion of the basic principles of black propel him to great heights and then, job market is flooded with debt-slave or emailed to the editor. hole theory than the way the with just as little warning, yank him ailure, rejection, public humili- graduates all of whom naively sup- Hollyoaks omnibus sucks all the down again. Fifteen years later and ation: these are some of the posed three years of slog might have To get involved in a section, email the rel- evant section editor listed above, and come decent Sunday morning program- with a spectacularly unglamorous F best things that can happen to earned them a step up on the career along to a meeting. No experience necessary. ming into its depths of rubbishness. cocaine addiction behind him, his a person. The chief benefit being ladder, while our TV screens are All of which is merely first year Land career consists of understudying for that, while some delusional heavy- bursting with wannabe celebrities, Varsity is published by Varsity Productions Economy, when compared with the Philip Schofield in Andrew Lloyd weights do manage, it’s very hard to whose tenacity is matched only by Ltd, and printed by Cambridge Evening News. All copyright is the exclusive property truly enlightening epiphany I had the Webber musicals. be a self-important knob once all the their delusion. Rejoice! With of Varsity Publications Ltd. No part of this other day whilst watching Jason Add to that the humiliation of sycophants have deserted you and prospects this low and expectations publication is to be reproduced, stored in a Donovan being interviewed on ITV’s being forever unfavourably compared your name is a by-word for cheesi- this high, it can only be a matter of retrieval system or transmitted in any form or excellent Loose Women. to Kylie, an equally untalented con- ness. Meanwhile, for those still time before a decade of directionless by any means, without prior permission of the To judge from the sad wisdom evi- temporary who arbitrarily succeeded favoured by fate, not becoming a temping makes Jason Donovans of us publisher. dent in Mr Donovan’s eyes, you where he failed, and you have the knob must be an on-going battle. all and I, for one, can’t wait. couldn’t wish for a better spiritual makings of a great man, indeed. Even the comparatively minor suc- www.varsity.co.uk October 8, 2004 EDITORIAL 9

Letters [email protected]

King’s Bar refurbished War on Terror comes home With best wishes, Dear Sir, Dear Sir, Miss Phillippa Lucien-Paul Abortion is a private matter Whilst changing the colour of the bar may Your suggestion (The Idler, October 1st) be part of a 'modernising'agenda supposedly that Osama Bin Laden is ‘skulking in to increase conference income, to many of us Dorset’ seems reasonable. Sightings of The Women’s Colleges Abortions happen. They happen if they are legal; they hap- the Red Bar is an important symbol of tradi- Warrior, as he is known here, have become pen if they aren’t. If they aren’t, they are more likely to be per- tion and history of which we are proud, a tra- increasingly frequent. And why not? Dear Sir, formed with coathangers. More people die needlessly in a soci- dition which drew us to the College in the Dorset, with its reputation for generous ety which does not permit abortion than one which doesn’t, and first place. Oscar Leonard is spot on when he hospitality and excellent medical care, pro- Lucy Phillips (Varsity, 1 October, 2004) that’s all there is to it: if you can’t adjust people’s moral compass cites changes like this as being 'the increased vides for its elderly and retired residents should be given another attempt to count (even if you would want to), there’s no point in simply forcing erosion of King's unique character'. exceptionally well. the number of all women's colleges in them underground. Tradition is there to be respected, nur- Cambridge. After all, she is only perpetu- The moral position on abortion is a far more complicated one, tured and developed in a modern context. Yours ever, ating a common misconception. which arise from the difficulty of any sort of comparison of the Not only this, Varsity tells us that the rights of a woman to control of her body, and the rights of a foe- Cellar can no longer serve drink. Ludicrous. Vicky Pencil Yours sincerely, tus to exist. An individual may find the idea repellent on a per- Perhaps members of Pink Floyd - who Lyme Regis, Dorset sonal level; on the other hand, that individual may not be preg- played in the Cellar Bar in the 70s and for Tony Eva nant, and alone, and desperate. Because these questions are whom King's provided unique inspiration - endlessly subjective, they are far less useful in determining a rea- were right when they said that 'The lunatic is Gardies Saved sonable position on this issue than the practical considerations on the grass', where the Fellows now walk. outlined above. On this basis, the only reasonable position to The sort of arrogance which ignores stu- Dear Sir, This week’s prize goes to Martin Lucas- take on the legality of abortion is: the alternative is worse. dent opinion and history, as well as deciding Smith, who wins two tickets to a film of There is, nevertheless, something peculiar about the CUSU to 'play down its high state school intake' I write to express my relief, and that of Women’s Union’s decision to support an organisation called (one which still cannot compete with the my friends, that our favourite kebab shop his choice at the Arts Picturehouse. Abortion Rights. There’s a clear dichotomy here: on the one national average) will not go down with has been saved. A night out in Cambridge hand an ethical position best justified by the idea that the state many. At least the carpet isn't blue. would not be the same without a trip to ought not get involved in the individual’s business, or morally Gardies, which has become somewhat an proselytise, unless the public good can be unequivocally shown Martin Lucas-Smith institution for many of us. to lie on the side of interference; on the other, active support of Non-resident member, King's College I also believe that it is very important to that principle whose manner amounts to precisely the kind of (Geography, 1997-2000) support small, independent businesses like unwarranted representation of the moral views of a constituen- this, before chain retailers completely take cy it purports to reject. over and all town centres become identical. If CUSU Women’s Union believes that a woman ought to Cambridge is a unique place and I would have more control over her body than the state: fine. Varsity like to see it remain that way. agrees. But Varsity would also suggest that the women who make up that Union are by no means clear and single in their endorsement of this position, and that to suggest otherwise falls somewhere between simplistic and patronising. Jo Read, the women’s officer, has said that CUSUWU does not offer advice one way or another, and that their ‘pro choice and proud of it’ stickers do not amount to a compromise of this principle, and there is some truth in the point that the stickers say ‘pro choice’, not ‘pro abortion’. Nevertheless, it should be borne in mind that our student representatives are very far from having the ringing The Bishop of Ely endorsement of their constituents, after years of low voter turnout: to adopt such a position in the face of this overwhelm- ing apathy and affect to speak on Cambridge women’s behalf, as if they are a single unified group, smacks of complacency.

Occasional missives from the episcopal frontline

•Overjoyed scenes at the ADC on those hip CUCA (sorry, cuca) cats were •If you burst the bubble recently you Monday, and much rejoicing at the mirac- slap bang next to their liberal democratic might have travelled along the A14 on Can’t say Fairer than that ulous renovation; but are all those funds nemeses. Now, was it all an accident, or your way to Sodom and Gomorrah. You going to good use? Your correspondent does someone in charge have a mean probably won’t have seen the sign put up Varsity had an excellent time at the fresher’s fair, but it must hears (at confession) that, where most of sense of humour? The bishop would just outside Cambridge, which warned be acknowledged that there is something to be said for being a the invited host were content at an offer- remind you that judgement belongs to motorists that ‘thieves operate in this finalist, and never having to go again. It is quite extraordinary ing of the return train fare to London in God alone, and therefore refrains from all area’. The reason? It was stolen. Within how many people are packed into Kelsey Kerridge sports hall, return for their presence, one especially comment. a few hours of its appearance. Heavens and attempting to manoeuvre through the madding throng luminary alumnus – Nationally known - above! whilst carrying a vast pile of Cambridge’s only independent insisted on a taxi from the big smoke and •Meanwhile, another grand Cantabrian newspaper is enough to give anyone the shakes. One sees so back, which came to a cool £300. That’ll institution plays host to Miss Canada this •Hugh Balsham, the bishop of Ely, many societies designed to be crazee because they’re secretly buy you a lot of hail marys, as the actress week. Not exactly a celebrity coup, the founded the first Cambridge college, boring, that the average fresher must be convinced that this is said to the bishop. more cynical amongst the congregation Peterhouse, in 1284. He has since the wrong university entirely, and he or she would have been might mutter; malicious and unfounded noticed that an atmosphere of licentious- better off getting a job, where at least no-one tries to persuade •The Bishop had a stall at the freshers’ rumour has it that the fresh-faced Union ness has descended, and not enough peo- you that Korfball is a useful way to spend your time. fair, but free cassocks obviously aren’t president had pitched for Miss World, and ple know who he is. When the spirit Still, it is a pretty remarkable event. There are few such occa- enough these days, so your correspondent got her Canuck counterpart as a consolation moves him, will occasionally redress the sions in the life of this university, at which its extraordinarily packed up and wandered around CUSU’s prize. Which is sort of like praying and balance on both fronts. Should you wish diverse membership is brought into such unsettling proximity; hymn to diversity in search of divine being answered by St Peter. Still, there are to confess, on your own behalf or for any- being present at one is truly fascinating. The proximity of amusement. Hundreds of stall-holders solaces for the new man on campus: could one else, he has an online service which incongruous stalls is regularly amusing, and some of the public- passed the event in perfect harmony the arduous task of entertaining the glam- can be accessed by emailing letters@varsi- ity techniques are sufficiently ingenious to warrant serious (though RockSoc smelled like a Bat Out orous Nazanin Afshin-Jam throughout her ty.co.uk, in the strictest confidence, with attention from this country’s political parties in the lead up to Of Hell, it must be said, which surely three day sojourn in Cambridge possibly ‘forgive me’ in the subject line. He is also the next general election. tested their immediate neighbours), and a have tipped the lusty hack’s hand? Her fel- available for christenings and bar mitz- Other than on the societies page of the university website, you Good Time Was Had By All. One minor low debater, Peter Stringfellow, will surely vahs. will probably never again see so bizarrely, superbly various a col- hitch in the arrangement of societies: give his youthful host a tip or two… lection corralled into one location: every year, we should give thanks that there weren’t any punch ups, and also that our com- munity is so fabulously full up. The freebies are great, too. In two hours one can comfortably collect CDs, posters, several bank accounts, a wide array of sweets exchanged for sheepishly given promises of future atten- dance at events, and more branded pencils than one could feasi- bily get through in the course of a three year degree. (Varsity was giving away beer mats, or coasters, if you prefer: come and get a drink to put on them at our squash at CoCos this Tuesday.) INTERVIEW 10 October 8, 2004 www.varsity.co.uk

Polly Jean Island the polymath Jessica Holland talks to PJ Harvey about commercial success, Vincent Gallo and her “ugly album”

very once in a while, lushly produced Stories from the City, despite all the odds, the Stories from the Sea, she did the only mainstream welcomes an astounding thing left to her: she artist who is challenging, made a pop record. “I thought, ‘I’ve passionateE and utterly themselves. It never really written pop songs,’” she happened with Bowie, it happened says. “You know; two-and-a-half with Bjork and it happened with minute, beginning, middle, middle- Polly Jean Harvey. Twelve years after eight, chorus; and I thought, ‘Right, the release of her witty, dark, I’m going to do that, and I’m going grunge-blues debut Dry, and three to make it all sparkly-sounding and since winning the Mercury Music lovely because I haven’t done that prize put her in Ikea CD racks across before.’ So obviously that’s going to the land, she is still cutting an inno- make a commercial kind of record. vative path through a jungle of 3- “But if I’m honest with myself, I minute unit-shifters, trailing behind think the success of that album did her the sonic equivalent of blood- make me think, I’m going to go in smeared love letters, late-night whis- completely the opposite direction pers in the dark and drole fuck-you’s. and write something horrible now.” “I have huge admiration for people Uh Huh Her, from its panting title that don’t just settle into a path of and sneering sleeve image to the knowing what they can do and doing snarling lyrics and primal instru- that all the time; that seems so mentation is the sound of PJ Harvey pointless to me. Life is about learn- being difficult again. “It’s quite ing as much as you can.” uncomfortable on the ears,” she admits. “But I don’t think I got as “I constantly steer ugly as I initially wanted to. I want- ed it to be horrible. A song like ‘Bad people away Mouth’ is somewhere near that, and ‘Who the Fuck?’ I wanted to do that from thinking with the whole thing. But the initial idea always changes, and it’s impor- my work is tant to have faith in following that, because that’s often where the good autobiographical” work comes.” As it is, one of the album’s high- The surprising thing about meet- lights is the fragile, almost-whis- ing PJ Harvey is how together she is, pered ‘The Desperate Kingdom of how happy and healthy and in con- Love’. Which couldn’t be called trol. The PJ that wails and moans sparkly-sounding, but does have a and hacks chunks of dirty guitar into sparse beauty. “I did want to create a her songs is a ravenous, libidinous, different world with each song. jealous siren, a creature of emotional Whether I achieved that or not I extremes that is either drunk with don’t know but that was the plan. love or (mostly) obsessed with pain ‘The Desperate Kingdom of Love’ is and always determined to be as diffi- sung so intimately and there’s so lit- cult as possible. Her high profile but tle else going on; that was quite a fiercely guarded relationships have new thing for me to not actually been with some of the most tortured affect my voice in any kind of way Portrait of the Artist as a Woman: Harvey’s news album reflects her versatility and determination to remain inimitable and brilliant artists of the decade but just sing it completely straight (most famously Gothic brooder Nick and very tenderly. I hadn’t gone into songs I left off this record because logical centre ‘The Eden Project’; feel very much like I need to learn Cave and highly-strung avante- those areas before.” they were just so PJ Harvey (she says and maintained “the inspiration that more in other areas at the moment. I garde filmmaker Vincent Gallo, with it with scorn) and that just doesn’t goes on inside of me whilst being was even toying with the idea of both of whom she has collaborated “But I don’t think interest me. I just want to present surrounded by lots of other people.” going back to school.” musically). But the Polly that sits in areas I think are new for me, and So, what next? She’s done pop, An abstract painter, Pierre front of me, small and delicate, ask- I got as ugly as I even now, with this record, I don’t rock and primal blues, built every- Soulages, once said: “The artist is ing quietly for a peppermint tea and feel I totally achieved that and want thing up and stripped it bare again, looking for something. He doesn’t answering each question frankly and initially wanted to try harder the next time.” and expressed every emotion on the know what path will lead him to his fully and with great consideration is She certainly can’t be accused off human radar - what unchartered ter- goal. The artisan takes paths he just so nice. to be. I wanted it getting stuck in the kind of rut that ritories are left for Polly Jean to con- knows, to reach a goal he also “I constantly steer people away to be horrible.” so many artists find themselves in quer? “If I’m asked to collaborate in knows.” It is this commitment to from thinking that my work is auto- when all that is asked of them is a any kind of art project that excites experimentation that characterises biographical,” she asserts. “It’s not a The one theme that recurs in our sequel to their initial success. Since me I will do,” she affirms. [Monty Polly Jean Harvey’s life and her diary of my life. But I try and create conversation is her appetite for the release of her last album, she has work. “I don’t really look at people situations in songs that I can put learning new things and pushing played the first ever rock concert at “I just want to and think ‘Oh I’d really like to be emotional qualities in that either I herself in new directions. It’s behind the Tate Modern, and performed live like that,’” she says. “No. I try to cut have felt or have observed, which is her openness to collaboration (with (and unrehearsed) with Gallo at the present areas I my own path. How successful I am at the stuff of life. I’m always looking Sparklehorse, Tricky, Thom Yorke Barbican: “When he sprung it on me doing that, I don’t know, but that’s for something that’s going to really and Bjork amongst others) and the I was completely unaware, that’s why think are new” always my aim.” So Polly’s still look- make me feel and the music I love variety of her back catalogue. “I con- I was sat right up on the balcony and ing for whatever it is she’s looking does that. To work towards real emo- stantly try and write in different had to come running down, I’d writ- Python/ Fear and Loathing director] for; let’s hope she never finds it, and tions in songs you have to write in a ways, trying to improve all the time. ten out the words but I didn’t even Terry Gilliam’s asked me to write a continues learning and pushing, very open and feeling way and that The lyrics were probably the biggest have them with me so it was all very few songs for his new film so I’ll def- making albums like Uh Huh Her (but doesn’t always take you down a com- challenge for me [on Uh Huh Her] ramshackle. But quite beautiful initely be doing that, and then not at all like Uh Huh Her), and try- mercial path.” because it’s so difficult to not repeat because of that I think.” She’s also there’s another possible film project ing not to sound too PJ Harvey. Sometimes it does though. The yourself or find yourself writing the written and produced songs for ahead. I think that for me spiritually one thing Polly is determined not to same song, but just slightly different, Marianne Faithful’s recent album; I need to go into a few different do is repeat herself, and with the to one you’ve already done three contributed a photo montage for a areas before I come back to just con- PJ Harvey’s album Uh Huh Her is album that really sent her stellar, the years before. There were a lot of Red Cross exhibition; played in eco- centrating on my work again. And I out now on Island Applyonlineatwww.oncampus.citigroup.com

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Dear John Wayne (R.I.P.), Dear Bush 1, Sorry to bother you when you’ve Sorry about how the boy turned shucked your spurs and ridden off out. Really. into the last sunset. I was a fan of High Noon, also of Rio Bravo. Consolingly yours, Though you punched below your Amelia S. weight in The Shootist. You may be interested to read what Michael Lakoff has been writing about you in Dear Clint Eastwood, his book Moral Politics: How Liberals We are pleased to inform you that and Conservatives Think. He says, “If your application for adoption has you’ve seen a John Wayne movie and been approved. Your new son’s name understood it… then you have the is George Bush 2. His address is as Strict Father frame.” This apparently follows: makes you a role model for [address withheld] American conservatives, who believe they have to punish their children I wish you all the best on your life (voters) when they transgress: together, “People who have strict father morality and apply it to politics are Yours sincerely, going to believe this is the right way Janet P. to govern.” I don’t know what you make of this. Dear Bush 2, Dear John Kerry, you are going to have many different cities in the world; ours are staged in Yours, andc. Forward this to three more world engagements during November – British seaside towns, screened on Peter K. leaders or you will suffer from I realise that you are, at this moment would you like to come to a party in BBC 3 and full of bearded men com- Cheney Dick for the rest of your life. in time, occupied with trying to organ- Cambridge in a couple of weeks? I plaining about A-roads. You even dis- ise a campaign that will, if successful, think you’d be a really interesting play your politics on your cars and in REAGAN! Yours, andc., see you installed as the next President guest. And I know that you have a your windows, sometimes even on You MANAGED to DUPE the Robert M. of the United States. I also realise that thing for being an international kind your skin; ours is solely expressed in WORLD into thinking you WERE you are incredibly busy trying to create of guy. It’s just that American politics the May Day Riots – it’s like you care BENIGN and an EVEN-HAND- some kind of plan that will deal with and politicians are so much more about things that are going on in your ED FATHER FIGURE, B(- Dear Arnold Schwarzenegger, all the problems in Iraq, that will deal exciting than politics and politicians country! I myself find our political sys- MOVIE) BOY! THEY were Could you go back in time to 1986 with the social, economic, internation- here. You had Bill Clinton, we had tem quaint, but feel that it could do WRONG! Remember Berlin 1986? again? There’s someone we need you al and environmental problems that John Major. At least Bill eventually with a needed shot of vigour. If even I The LIBYANS bombed a nightclub, to eliminate. your country, and thus the world, are came clean about his less-than-politi- can be roused out of my apolitical stu- and you BOMBED TRIPOLI! John going to face in the coming few years. cal exploits. por to think about a country that I Negroponte MASSACRED the Yours, andc., Not only this, but you are faced with You, right now, have a man despised don’t even live in, I think it’s possible NICARAGUAN GUERRILLAS James R. the unfortunate task of trying to by most of the world and half of your that your example (and hopefully per- and now where is he? I-RAQ! The spread your message to an intensely country as your head of state. We have son) might be able to wake up politics FOREIGN POLICY you began in By various hands divided country, to try and convince an elderly lady with a penchant for in the UK. the 1980s DIRECTLY led to everyone from hardcore Nader-ites to matching woollen skirt-and-jacket And there’s a free bar in my kitchen, WHERE WE ARE NOW! For more on John Wayne, see deranged, drooling Bushies that you combinations, hats and heavy jew- and I can get a foldout bed from the I GOT your NUMBER. I www.salon.com do have such a plan that won’t mean ellery. Your political conventions are Domestic Department. KNOW where you LIVE. For more on Ronald Reagan, see that they will lose their hard-earned nationally televised gala events, full of Yours, andc., Best, www.opendemocracy.net quality of life. Or, of course, their guns. beautiful, famous people, that are Lee G. With this is mind – and I know that staged from some of the most exciting Olly Batham

By the end of the week she was tele- ble weeks in the psychiatric ward, much and will take them until November. phoning her parents frequently, insisting of which she does not remember. She The side effects of the hospital drugs What’s your poison? in her confused state that the school was regained her faculties of speech but her remain evident; despite not eating for a huge conspiracy, and that the teachers behaviour was psychotic for many days; weeks in hospital she has gained a vis- and children were all actors who were amongst other things she insisted on ible amount of weight and suffers from going to trap her. eating sheets of paper, and refused to see very bad skin. Her health insurance for Her worried parents brought her her family. There was an obvious con- her family holiday to the States this Lucy Razzell looks home immediately. Shortly after, she cern that she could have been sexually summer soared, and the possible was admitted as an in-patient to the abused or even raped the night her drink effects this episode could have on her psychiatric ward of our local hospital, was spiked. She was locked into a pri- future mental health and job prospects at drink-spiking and legally sectioned. By this time she vate, alarmed room from which she tried as a teacher are almost unthinkable. was mute and refused to eat or drink. I’ve thought a lot about Victoria’s tri- She was under twenty-four hour She recalls feeling as als this summer. This didn’t happen in a s another academic year cases of date-rape drug victims. observation and suicide watch. dark and crowded nightclub or a dubious begins, every college bar in Personally, this danger was made very Although doctors assumed at first that though the walls of backstreet pub, but in the student union Cambridge is bursting at the real to me during the summer vacation she had developed schizophrenia or the classroom were bar, a place of relative safety where the seams this week with crowds when I met up with a school friend who, reactive depression, the results of a typical student assumes they are safe. I Aof second and third years keen to catch like me, had just completed her first year routine drugs test revealed that she closing in on her return to Cambridge this Michaelmas up with friends, and assortments of of university life. Victoria had always had tested positive for cannabis, regretfully more cynical, aware that I’ll freshers making their first acquaintances. wanted to teach, and so had accepted a cocaine, and various amphetamines. be taking extra care of my drinks, even in My own college bar has been refurbished place on a course specialising in primary Clearly Victoria is not a drugs user, desperately to escape. When she was my own college bar. over the summer, and I know that it will education. and so the specialists concluded that released and allowed home, she had to be filled with familiar faces – the popu- She had eagerly awaited her first prac- she had been the victim of a spiked have a social worker with her during the lar Steve ‘t’ Barman, our cool college tical placement in a primary school dur- drink. Victoria recalls that the night day as part of the prescribed rehabilita- Chaplain, all my own friends and ene- ing March. But for Victoria the first day before her teaching placement she was tion process, and her parents were Next week in mies…like every college bar, it’s a heav- was marked by the experience of strange socialising in the student union bar advised to remove her bedroom door ing social centre most evenings. physical symptoms. Her memory of the with friends. Although she didn’t from its hinges to prevent her from lock- Features: Yet we all remember last year’s week that followed reads like a surreal drink much she remembers feeling ing herself in. newspaper coverage of the potential dream sequence. She recalls feeling as quite drunk, and she now believes this Incredibly, Victoria managed to pass Modern China dangers of leaving drinks unattended though the walls of the classrooms were was when the drugs began to have her first-year exams and complete the in bars and pubs around Cambridge, closing in on her, everything was very their terrible effects. academic year. Three months later, she special and the alarm sparked by suspected loud, and she felt unduly disorientated. Victoria spent a period of three terri- is still taking strong anti-depressants The feeling you get at Diageo is like nothing else. It’s that intangible something that makes us so unique.We can offer you extraordinary career opportunities and superb training & development across Marketing, Sales, Supply Chain, Technical, Procurement, Production & Packaging and a range of commercial roles.

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www.cliffordchance.com/gradsuk Building futures

WEB www.varsity.co.uk October 1, 2004 15 Freshers respond positively to survey First-week traumas have been largely avoided, says Sam Richardson r A SURVEY of freshers conducted by likely to claim not to have felt lonely alke

Varsity Online has shown that, despite at all. W the stresses of Freshers’ Week, new stu- The survey, in a CUSU-inspired

dents take away from it an overwhelm- spasm of political correctness, also Luke ingly positive view of Cambridge. But asked students for their first impres- 30% of freshers still felt that there was sions of equality in Cambridge. At first too much pressure on them to drink, sight, the fact that nearly two thirds of and 32% of new students admitted to students didn’t think that there was loneliness. inequality at all seems to be a good sign. Responding to the news that 84% of Foreign students shared the dubious respondents to the survey online and at honour of being the group thought to the freshers fair had found their first be suffering most, with 8% of students experience of Cambridge ‘Positive’ or saying that there was ‘prejudice’ against ‘Very Positive’, CUSU President Wes them. They were matched in this by Streeting said, “I’m over the moon with students from (to use a very un-PC how the week has gone so far. We’ve term) ‘privileged backgrounds’, who had record breaking numbers through were considered to be more disadvan- the doors of our events, Top Banana taged than students from ‘less privi- tickets are selling brilliantly, and even leged backgrounds’. ex-CUSU President Paul Lewis has One worrying result of the survey is said this is the first year when he hasn’t that 30% of both men and women felt felt sorry for the freshers.” The fact that that there was ‘too much pressure’ to 36% of students (and 47% of male stu- drink during Freshers Week. 29% of dents) admitted to having a hangover, men, and 6% of women, also felt that suggests that at some point during the there was too much pressure to dance. week a number of freshers had also 24% of men also felt that there was too landed on their face. much pressure to ‘pull’ during freshers’ 84% of students who filled in the survey told Varsity Online that their experience of Freshers’ Week had been a positive one. Furthermore, 18% of students said week. Women, however, seemed they had suffered from non-drink- immune to such pressures, as not a sin- related illness during their first four gle girl admitted to feeling them. The UCS launches new software days, indicating that ‘Fresher’s Flu’ is outcome of this is that 6% of freshers not just an Old Wives’ Tale (or at least admitted to have had a snog during the an Old College Parents’ Tale). Many first four days. THE UNIVERSITY has recently It will allow users to control Microsoft tions and product training. The agree- women will not be surprised to learn This should, but probably won’t, dis- announced its endorsement and distri- Windows and many of their PC appli- ment enables Cambridge to distribute a that men were more than twice as like- pel the unwanted myth that freshers are bution of software capable of turning cations completely by voice.The product selection of ScanSoft’s productivity solu- ly to report an illness. easy prey for ‘more mature’ students. speech into text at up to 160 words-per- is tightly integrated with Microsoft tions on a university-wide basis and to On the other hand, 12% of One lone respondent said that they had minute. The agreement will enable uni- Office, which allows users to create new related institutions such as the BP women, but no men at all, reported had sex during Freshers Week, and the versity-wide access to ScanSoft’s documents and e-mails, navigate pro- Institute, the Cambridge that they had felt depressed. This is same student was one of the two who ‘Dragon NaturallySpeaking’ dictation grams, and surf the Web, all by voice. Entrepreneurship Centre, Hutchison / possibly linked to the fact that said that their experience so far had solution as a productivity tool, and as a The University of Cambridge’s MRC Research Centre, and the UK women (39%) were twice as likely as been a negative one. Only 8% of stu- preventative tool to help avoid the possi- University Computer Service (UCS) Astronomical Technology Centre. men to have reported feeling lonely. dents so far said that they had felt too ble development of conditions such as will distribute all of the products, as well Similarly, men (29%) were twice as much pressure to work. repetitive strain injury (RSI). as provide front line support, demonstra- Samantha Burton

Game of the Week Website of the Week Varsity Online

This page of Varsity is designed as a showc ase for the content of Varsity Online, which you’ll find at www.var- sity.co.uk. Unlike other student newspaper websites, Varsity Online is much more than simply a load of uploaded articles from the previous week’s newspaper. Instead, we have exclusive sections including computer games, cookery and eating out. And every Tuesday the Varsity Online Reportcomes out on the Web, featuring the highest quality investigative journalism. As if this wasn’t enough, we look to publish news articles before they appear in the student press, so that your intake of news need not be lim- Outrun 2 (Sega) there’s a similar problem, despite www.iqtest.com have been quite intelligent enough to ited to just one day a week. XBox Sega’s efforts. It doesn’t take long to make the site reliable – you’ll some- With all this it isn’t surprising that £39.99 (out this week) get to know the routes, the 101 mis- Okay, so everyone in Cambridge times get an error message when you Varsity Online has just been shortlist- sions are suspiciously samey, and the reckons they’re pretty smart. But this try to start. ed for ‘Best Student Website’ in the One of my first memories is of sit- ‘heart attack mode’, in which you is a website to separate the men from IQ tests are of course fairly dubi- Guardian Student Media Awards for ting in the driving seat of an Outrun have to charm your passenger with the boys and the women from the ous, not least because many schools the year 2004. arcade, without having inserted any your driving technique and see her girls, and the mathmos from everyone not teach you how to do them. They Bur we’re not resting on our laurels. coins, until a teenager swore at me her ‘Heart Gauge’ rise, provides sub- else (although they often seem to don’t really test how intelligent you The site is soon set for a major and I went crying to my Dad. lime comedy value for all of two min- manage that anyway). are, they don’t even really tell you how relaunch, to incorporate a brand new Seventeen years later, and Sega, utes. There’s quite a few IQ test sites out good at IQ tests you were, they just listings engine, and improved user following the flops of the Saturn and But you don’t play Outrun for the there, and the main reason this one tell you how good at that particular interface, faster loading times, and Dreamcast, is back to making games long run. You play it to beat your was chosen was because the Web IQ test you were. easier navigation. for other manufacturers. This time mates, and with 1-4 players onscreen, Editor got a score of 153. They’ll Getting a high score won’t get you If you want to be involved in this what you get is a choice of eight a system link option, and online mul- email your score for free so you can a first. In fact, if you slip into compla- exciting project, whether as editor of Ferraris (the game has an official tiplayer, Outrun 2 won’t disappoint provide evidence to blag to your cency like our web editor, it may even an online section, as a reporter, or on Ferrari licence), and the most arcade- you. But will the sensational speed, friends with. You can then go on to do the opposite. But he only studies the technical side, please email the like gameplay you’ll find anywhere gorgeous graphics, and brilliant find out your ‘personal intelligence SPS. I should also warn you, from web editor,Sam Richardson, on outside, well, an arcade. power-slides be enough to drag you profile’. experience, that using the chat up [email protected]. If anyone remembers the 1988 PC away from your essay? I hope so, The test is timed, and the thirty line, ‘I have an IQ of 132, that’s why I For the time being, enjoy the web- version of Outrun, which came on because the adrenaline burst of eight questions should only take up think you’re gorgeous’, will probably site, and email us with any ideas for two of those big 5.25” floppy disks, Outrun 2 is pure escapism. thirteen minutes of your precious get you a slap. articles or improvements. you’ll remember that it took less time time. The great irony is that the peo- to complete than to load. And here Luke Walker ple who made the site don’t seem to Luke Walker Sam Richardson listings /stage powered by FRIDAY 9

19:45 ADC As You Like It 23:00 FOOTLIGHTS Beyond a Joke 20:00 Cambrige Union Chamber Five Visions of the Faithful SATURDAY 10 FRIDAY 8

20:00 Cambrige Union Chamber Five Visions of the Faithful QUEENS Naughty School Disco Cheese SUNDAY 11 SATURDAY 9

20:00 Cambrige Union Chamber Five Visions of the Faithful FEZ Nick Bridges The best in UK House Music LIFE The Big Party Dance, 60’s and Club Classics MONDAY 12 SUNDAY 10 20:00 Cambrige Union Chamber Five Visions of the Faithful COCO The Sunday Roast Cheese and Chart on a Sunday TUESDAY 13 BALLARE The Big Bang CUSU Freshers Event with Trevor Nelson MONDAY 11 19:45 ADC The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie FEZ Fat Poppaddaddys A Mix of Funky Grooves WEDNESDAY 14 LIFE Live is Life International Student Night

19:45 ADC The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie TUESDAY 12

THURSDAY 15 BALLARE Top Banana Cambridge’s Best Cheese from CUSU COCO Licked RnB, Hip Hop and Dancehall 19:45 ADC The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie WEDNESDAY 13

BALLARE Rumboogie Cambridge’s Sports Men and Women Essential Accessories and Gadgets come out to play for your mobile phone THURSDAY 14

COCO Urbanite CUSU Hip Hop and RnB

/listings /send us yours Please submit listings to CambridgeEye.com or [email protected] visit

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* Michelin Guide 2004 * Romantic dining * Ideal party venu * 5 minute walk from Parker's Piece Bruno's Brasserie Tel: 01223 312702 Not available in a store near you! 52, Mill Rd, Cambridge, Cambridgeshire CB1 2AS www.pemprokeplayers.orgZZZ RUJ BRICKHOUSE THEATRE COMPANY $XGLWLRQV :HHNHQG invites WKDQGWK2FW auditions for MODELS REQUIRED announce auditions for ‘The Winters Tale’ $OODXGLWLRQVDW3HPEURNH&ROOHJH

Shakespeare’s GLUHFWLRQV DW 3RUWHUV¶ /RGJH ANNOUNCES AUDITIONS FOR At the Michaelhouse Centre For life drawing, £10 per hour

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‘Macbeth’ £ (Inexperienced models are welcome)



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¦¤.¤  ‘Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?’ Highly experienced director seeks Contact: Mr Kourbaj

Sun 10th October 1 -5 committed cast.

¡¢-  ¤7KH %DFFKDH $IWHU (XULSLGHV By Edward Albee Visual Arts Centre $GDSWHGE\6LPRQ(YDQV Auditions Sat 9th & Sun 10th Christ’s College For further information please 12-6pm Fri 8th, Sat 9th October 6DW6XQSP6 Old College Office, Trinity Great Gate Email: i.issamkourbaj.co.uk

contact Andy Rendel on atr25 &RQWDFWVUH Queen’s Building, Emmanuel Want to take your acting further? This © Contact Sebastian (gsr22) for info

:NPDLQ 2 is your chance. www.thisisfleet.com %\0DUJDUHW(GVRQ 6DW6XQSP1 Calliope in association with Week 3 Michaelmas Term &RQWDFWDFP Does the Future have a Church? :NPDLQ+HGZLJ DQG WKH $QJU\ ,QFK INTERNATIONAL TOUR 2004 The Fletcher Players presents %\ -& 0LWFKHOO DQG 6 7UDVN Is the UK a country whose “traditional faith is retreating into history?” A QUESTION OF ATTRIBUTION 6DW6XQSP1HZ&HOODUV [The Times]? :RPHQ RQO\ SOHDVH SUHSDUH D URFN VRQJ by Alan Bennett “The Church has to rediscover its identity as a people on a mission; a JXLWDUDFFRPSDQLPHQWDYDLODEOH ANNOUNCES AUDITIONS &RQWDFWMGV company of people with a message” [Terry Virgo] For Week Six Show 7.45pm, Tue 26th - Sat 30th Oct, :N  ODWH +RZ 1RW &RPH 2XW WR

Lady Margaret Players and DAM Concert/Arabic Party CONDUCTORS Shadwell announce CUPAL, in association with SOAS, present: AUDITIONS for AUDITIONS FOR DAM Conducting The Freshers’ Play Premier Israeli-Arab rap group, ‘ALL GOOD THINGS’ expertly live and direct from the Middle by Paul McCormick Alan Ayckbourn’s ANNOUNCES AUDITIONS FOR East with supporting Arabic DJ taught Corpus Playroom ‘A Small Family Business’ Week 8 ADC Lateshow Edward Albee’s ‘Finding the Sun’ Week 5 Lateshow THE LOVER Tuesday 12 October Check out my website: River Bar, Quayside th by Harold Pinter www.alantongue.co.uk Auditions: Sat 9th October, 12-3pm Saturday 9 October ADC Doors Open 8pm Tickets £5 Bateman Room, Gonville and Theatre 9-1 1-5pm, Sat 9th Oct 12-4, Sun 10th Oct Funds to www.enlighten-palestine.org Caius college Sunday 10th October ADC Emmanuel College and contact me: 302030 Please check signs in plodge for room name Cambridge University Palestine Theatre 10-6 or [email protected] Contact: psm28/os243 Contact Sophie (sarm2) for details Society ([email protected])

LMP in association with Mummers

THREE ONE ACT PLAYS OPEN APPLICATIONS FOR 23rd-27th November @ The School DIRECTOR AND PRODUCER of Pythagorus, St. John's The Freshers’ Play AUDITIONS Seeks versatile and ambitious female and Alan Ayckbourn’s male actors. A showcase for Cambridge's ‘A Small Family Business’ best performing talent. There will be a press Edward Albee’s ‘Finding the Sun’ ‘Nineteen Eighty Four’ night a week before the performance run and the BBC Online will make a feature on For more information on Directing con- & ‘Animal Farm’ Great tasting, the making of this production as part of tact Alex on [email protected] Emmanuel College: Mummers' 75th anniversary. 9th Oct 10- 3pm Sat 9th 2pm - 6pm and 10th 12-5pm at King's. For more information on Producing Sun 10th 10am - 2pm great value pizza Contact producer on ssg28 contact Bethan on [email protected] ‘The Tempest’ Sat 9th, 11am - 6pm, Mumby for delivery and AUDITIONS FOR Room, King’s Sun 10th, 11am - 6pm, Keynes ‘Matilda Liar!’ collection The Marlowe Society Hall, King’s announces auditions for (Week 7 ADC Theatre) Dominos, the RSC Other Prize Winner, th ‘The Pitchfork Disney’ Cambridge: 01223 355155 ‘Rostov's House’. Sat 9 October Music Room, Peterhouse, ADC Theatre 9-1 & ‘Cleansed’ 27 Hills Road, Sat 9th and Sun 10th October Homerton Small Studio 3-6 See website for details Cambridge, CB2 1NW 10am - 5pm each day. th Sunday 10 October www.hatsdrama.co.uk ADC Theatre 10-6 Men Only please

“The European Theatre Group”

ANNOUNCES AUDITIONS for its European Tour Show 'Romeo & Juliet' December 2004 BATS announce auditions for October 9th & 10th, 10am-4pm ‘The Spanish Tragedy’ by Thomas Kyd Wolfson Party Room, Wolfson Sat 9th, Sun 10th 2 - 6, Erasmus Room, Queens’ Building, Trinity College ‘Rememberance of Things Past’ by Harold Pinter, from Proust www.etg.org.uk" Sat 9th, 10 - 1, Angevin Room, Queens’ Sun 10th, 10 - 4, Bowett Room, Queens’ ‘Look Back in Anger’ by John Osbourne AUDITIONS: Fri 8th, 12 - 6, Angevin Room, Queens’ PLAYROOM WEEK 4 Sat 9th, 1 - 6, Angevin Room, Queens’ For a new play - ‘Night Mother’ by Marsha Newman ‘Relatively Speaking’ Sat 9th, Sun 10th, 12 - 4, W6, Queens’ (Female cast) Frazer Room, Trinity BATS FRESHERS’ PLAY Sunday 10th october 2-6pm Interviews to direct More information ‘Shooting the Chandalier’ by David Mercer, Sun 10th including the script Contact sab77 and lw228 asap http://www.expert.demon.co.uk/ Auditions relative/ Sat 9th, Sun 10th, 10 - 2, Erasmus Room, Queens’

October 8 2004 varsityarts

The (re)birth of tragedy in the 21st Century Oliver Tilley assesses the changing ness in our pervasive 24 hour, televisu- Petersen’s Troy (I want to vomit every timetable that, at a glance, reveals a al news culture. The Trojan war and time someone attempts to defend it by worrying preoccupation with recent its routine dealing in often arbitrary saying it is ‘only a bit of fun’); there is global events: Ladder 49 (about US face of Greek tragedy death proves an apposite parallel to something about the bleak emotional fire-fighters), Sky Captain and the the indiscriminate killing of so many; power of the ancient playwrights that World of Tomorrow (note the neopho- The forthcoming triennial perform- drama complete with nihilistic, grue- administered, it seems, by either an proves cathartic for an audience regu- bia of the second sub-clause) and ance of Cambridge’s celebrated Greek some darkness – gets a prominent Islamic God or a temporal monetary larly disturbed by terrorist purple Resident Evil: Apocalypse all seem in Play at the Arts Theatre (see page 20) billing in London’s Pit. God, the United States, just as Zeus alerts or a Russian school massacre: thrall to this precarious state of the seems to slot neatly into what is a It seems fashionable amongst the- The Bacchae is outrageously wild, and world. striking vogue for similar works. atre critics to preface their reviews of We can perhaps rely this tensile liberation accesses a simi- We can perhaps rely on Hollywood Euripides’ The Bacchae and Hecuba are these works by establishing their rele- lar desire in our increasingly anxiety- to ‘save the day’ and shoe-horn in showing at the West Yorkshire vance to the current political context: on Hollywood to ridden viewer. some trite happy-ending or glorify Playhouse and the Donmar one Guardian reviewer was prompted My Troy allusion, though, is not so freedom-loving soldiers (cf. Achilles Warehouse respectively, and both to say “It is not hard to see why Greek ‘save the day’ token and malicious as it might in Troy), but with today’s worldly trade in the kind of cathartic emo- tragedy is currently popular”. And, appear. In Hollywood today a similar imbalance, even the rickety white let- tional intensity so lauded by Aristotle really, it is not: tragedy, particularly and Apollo mow down their heroes trend appears to be occurring, with ters atop Mount Lee appear to adopt in his prescription of what tragedy Greek tragedy, offers us an alternative and soldiers in The Iliad. the film capital’s traditional agenda as a more grave countenance, while ‘should do’; while Middleton’s The spy-hole into experiences reminiscent This is not, though, just a green a reassuring influence amidst a chaos Hecuba’s wailing of sorrow suddenly Changeling – a paradigmatic Jacobean of the horrors we now routinely wit- light for atrocities such as Wolfgang becoming less evident within a film seems more resonant. pick of the week image of the week If you only see 5 things, see these

Oedipus the King Arts Theatre 13-16th Oct, 2.30 & 7.45pm

Catch this Ancient Greek play, performed in the original language and directed by a professional team, or you’ll have to wait another three years for the next one.

The Big Bang Ballare, 7pm-2am, 10th October

CUSU Ents kick off their term in big style bringing you the funkiest, sexiest DJ to go by the name of Trevor when Mr. Nelson’s Rhythm Nation tour hits Cambridge.

The Leopard Arts Picture House, Sunday 10th Oct, 12pm

This glorious Visconti saga adapted from the 20th Centurty Di Lampadusa masterpiece explores the pre-Garibaldi Italian aristocracy, with Burt Lancaster on career-definging form.

Poetry Readings English Faculty,Tuesday 12th October 8pm

The weekly “Cambridge Series” of experimen- tal, innovative poetry readings begins with this night of up-front consciences and conscious- ness, invective, bile and music.

Five Visions of the Faithful The Union, 8-11th October, 8pm

An unusual spectacle: the Union hosts this photo courtesy of critically acclaimed show on its return from Edinburgh. Five different types of theatre accompanied by a unique soundtrack.

Bungee jumper mid-bunge. By Catherine Wedderburn

YOUNG REBEL GENRES MUSIC, PAGES 22-23 A JOURNEY TO THE CENTRE OF THE SELF THEATRE, PAGES 20-21 A TRIP THROUGH LATIN CINEMA FILM, PAGE 25 PRODDING THE UNDERBELLY OF THE CITY VISUAL ARTS, PAGE 28 THEATRE 20 October 8, 2004 www.varsity.co.uk

After Show Oedipus: complex Vox Pops Audience reactions to As You Like It, Arthur House at the ADC Theatre until Saturday drops in on rehearsals for this triennial Cambridge institution Kate Nicholls Clare Cambridge institutions vary between quirky, banal and bureaucratic but they It was great [two are almost always out of date. Generally thumbs up]. The they do not inspire excitement. Yokels were fan- To many, the Cambridge Greek Play tastic. A higly enjoyable play, I rec- (yes, a play from Ancient Greece per- iona Symington ommend it. F formed entirely in Ancient Greek) would seem to be a perfect example of Nick Long such a thing, wheeled out every three Wolfson years since god-knows-when like a creaking, rotten Trojan horse. Much better in Sophocles’ Oedipus the King comes to the second half, the Arts Theatre next week with the there was more backing of a professional directorial energy. It began stiff but became team involving choreographers, lan- more fluid as it went on.The humour guage coaches, an RSC designer and a picked up and the audience warmed month’s meticulous preparation. There up. They did a good job conveying a won’t be many student productions to sense of space. The music was great - rival it this year. But why, you ask, why contemporary Shakespeare tunes the hell would you want to go and see it? which fitted with the modern setting. The 2001 Greek Play, Sophocles’ Electra, played to sell-out audiences a And another thing... month after the World Trade Centre came crashing down. As the political A new addition to Cambridge’s the- repercussions of that day have unfold- atre scene is Fleet, a group founded ed we have also witnessed a resurgence by Nick Blackburn. Promising ‘a in Greek tragedy that is unprecedent- better quality product’, Blackburn ed in modern times, and a revival of has high hopes for his company, see- general interest in the classical world ing it as a launch pad for budding that has even permeated Hollywood actors. His debut under the Fleet (Alexander the Great, Troy). Right now Members of the chorus of Oedipus the King in action in rehearsal banner (he has directed The House of you can go and see Hecuba at the So why not just go and see one in surtitles in English for those who identity dictated by gender, via the Barnada Alba at the ADC and Love’s Donmar Warehouse, The Bacchae at English instead? Translating Greek don’t mind craning their necks, but insights of the opposite sex. Given Labours Lost for Trinity College’s the West Yorkshire Playhouse and, tragedy makes it accessible, but it the plot of Oedipus should be suffi- that gender difference is so integral Hall Show), The Winter’s Tale, will recently at the National, the acclaimed also sacrifices an artistic experience ciently well-known to render this to the play’s plot (complex, anyone?), reach audiences later this term at the Iphigenia at Aulis. that can only be retained in the orig- unnecessary for the most part. Castledine has upped the stakes con- Michalehouse Centre, before a Theatre and politics have been inal. The very sound of ancient Castledine describes the play as “a siderably on what is already an excep- hoped-for London run for the ben- imbricated to varying degrees Greek in its poetic meter is so journey to the centre of the self ”, see- tionally ambitious and multi-faceted efit of agents and directors. Maybe throughout history, and today their expressive as to create emotion even ing her choice as appropriate for an undertaking. It remains to be seen his experience of working with relationship seems as close as ever. if, like me, you don’t know the lan- age in which we are increasingly whether this will be a risk worth tak- members of Complicite and the Troy, for example, is not a geograph- guage at all. Director Annie forced to ask the question “Who am ing, but the quality of the work in RSC will help. ical place so much as an imaginative Castledine asserts that “the rhythm I?”. Notably, she has taken the bold progress assured me that this would space in Western consciousness for is the emotion…I don’t want people step to cast women in the leading not be a play worth missing. Oedipus Returning to Cambridge for their an intractable struggle that can only to look at the surtitles”. Combined male roles and a man as Oedipus’ is selling out faster than Electra,so post-Edinburgh runs are The Medics end in suffering and death. The with the physical gesture and queen, Jocasta. As well as using this hurry up, you know what to do; this Revue (15th and 16th October at pagan fatalism and awful, awesome detailed choreography of the actors as a “displacement exercise”, encour- is one Cambridge institution that Robinson’s Brickhouse Theatre) and justice of Greek tragedy is relevant to as well as the strikingly metaphorical aging the actors to ‘show’ characters couldn’t be much more up-to-date. The Uncertainty Division (17th things going on now: George set, this promises to be a unique completely alien to themselves rather October in the ADC Bar). The lat- Monbiot memorably described the experience of ‘total’ expression that than trying to ‘become’ them, she Oedipus the King is at the Arts ter provides improvised comedy, a invasion of Iraq as “a hubris that does not depend heavily on under- sees it as another way of gaining per- Theatre from 13th - 16th October at rarity in Cambridge. invites its own nemesis”. standing the words. There will be spective on identity, in this case the 2.30 and 7.45 pm

Flying Without Wings is Ashford Lisa Owens was transported to Neverland Chr

The ADC production of Peter Pan, telling through movement and the or the Boy who would not Grow Up rough, immediate magic that is paid a wonderful tribute to the J.M. sparked as a result. Barrie classic in its centenary year by The cast were, without exception, bringing it into the twenty-first cen- fantastic: indeed they needed to be in tury with spirited energy. Ignoring order for such a lively production to the temptations of intricate sets and succeed. The script does not allow for painted backdrops, the cast and much development of character, espe- directors took an altogether more cially with the smaller roles, but each innovative approach, playing out individual overcame this by throwing each scene as a game in the mind of themselves 100% into the spirit of the Wendy Darling. play, and making every moment The audience was transported in a onstage count. The Lost Boys were whirlwind of imagination from the especially adept at this: their spoken London bedroom of the Darling chil- lines were by no means substantial, but dren to the varied, often eerie land- their collective interaction with each The Lost Boys hide from Cap’n Hook in Neverland (alias bunkbed and blackboard) scape of Neverland, home to fearsome other and other characters when they pirates, mysterious Native Indians and were not speaking allowed shades of Smee was loveable and hilarious, and adult. However the emotive Although ostensibly a children’s dangerously beautiful mermaids. The boisterousness and vulnerability to crucially, not overplayed: his best exchanges between Lydia Wilson’s show, the ADC’s Peter Pan is a toys that had littered the set in the ini- dominate by turns. Nadia Kamil moments were when he was not cen- Wendy and Peter Pan, and Sophie stunning production for old and tial scene became vital components in played an engaging, agile Tinkerbell, tre-stage, but rather pottering about in Middlemiss in her role as Mrs young alike. The commitment and the creation of each new world, and with a flashing light in one hand, and the background, seeing to the domes- Darling captured the poignancy enthusiasm of all involved resulted the rapid de-construction and re- bells in the other to represent the tiny tic chores onboard the ship. inherent in the script skilfully, going in a magical, fast-moving explo- building of each setting captured the mischievous fairy, whilst her face The script was necessarily edited some way to overcome this. Barrie’s ration of the imagination, which essence of both Barrie’s script and the expressed an impressive range of emo- to fit the slot of a one-hour show, dialogue is at times rather quaint and left the audience hungry for adven- directors’ vision. The power of the tion. Rich Scott in the title role was which did keep the pace sky-high, archaic, which occasionally jarred ture and flights of fancy. imagination is being celebrated here, utterly charming with his boyish but perhaps lost something of the with the modernity of setting in this and where this production excelled bravado betrayed by flashes of sulking darker aspects of the play, in particu- production, but its overall effect was Peter Pan is at the Homerton auditori- was in its emphasis on the joy of story- defencelessness. Simon Bird’s Captain lar the child’s world versus that of the curiously delightful. um on 15th and 16th October at 7:00pm THEATRE www.varsity.co.uk October 8, 2004 21 I’m sorry Miss Brodie, I am for real Amy Blakeway teaches us a lesson about Muriel Spark’s classic coming-of-age drama re Set in the 1930’s, The Prime of Miss a full run of the play, as not all of the assumptions we make about people. Jean Brodie is well known to many of twelve year-olds drafted in for the This, it seems, is another strong point us, by reputation at least. Located production were available. I was, how- of the production.

largely in Miss Brodie’s classroom, the ever, assured that they are all of the This sensitive performance was well ADC Theat play focuses on her, her lovers, her same high standard as the one I did complimented by those of her two nemesis Miss MacKay and ‘the Brodie see, Megan Taff (playing Monica). lovers. Mr Lloyd (Rob Heaps) wins set’, a group of four girls she has The remainder of the ‘Brodie set’ no points for being a likeable or pleas- picked as ‘exceptional’. Following this are played by students, and all demon- ant character, but works well with group from age twelve through school strated a high level of professionalism both Scudamore and Owens. As for and finally to their entry into the adult and talent. In particular, Lisa Owens Mr Lowthes, (Tom Stoate), being the world, the play (based on the Muriel emonstrated impressive range and pivo t of many of the play’s more Sharp novel) ends with Miss Brodie’s development in the role of Sandy, humorous moments, he bears this fall and the liberation of at least one of going from a scared schoolgirl taken responsibility well and with a straight the group, Sandy, from her influence. unawares by the Art master, to ice face. Indeed, one aspect of the The coming of age theme, so obvious cold and analytical lover of the same approach to the production I particu- for the girls, is contrasted by Miss man, to the instrument of Miss larly liked was that humour was pres- Brodie, forever deluding herself she is Brodie’s downfall. Tizzy Fallar, in cre- ent, but never verged on the slapstick. helping, not harming, her girls. ating the stuttering Mary, evoked It is often said that comedy serves The expansive time scale, as well as lashings of sympathy with some great to heighten tragedy, but in this case it the relocation of the action from acting. The brunt of many cruel jokes also makes the characters a lot more school to convent, means that there on the part of the other girls, Mary amenable to watch. Famous lines are are numerous problems. However, the served to highlight the deceptions not overplayed, but fit smoothly into set design promises to overcome this. Brodie allows herself. their context, so that the audience is A traditional black box is to be divid- Miss Jean Brodie herself, played by allowed to draw new things from ed into three areas, with the classroom Jenny Scudamore, clearly has heaps of them, and appreciate lesser-known at the back, other locations within the talent, and I look forward to seeing aspects of the story. school at the centre, and outdoor her performance as a whole. The com- This looks to be shaping up into a scenes closest to the audience. plexities and contradictions of her sparky and interesting production, Authentic 1930’s chairs and desks character were all treated with seri- with enough sense of period and have been gathered for the production ousness and intelligence. For all Miss broader issues to ground the produc- from the Corn Exchange, and the use Brodie’s pretensions, at times I did tion in something substantial, but of gauze and lighting as envisaged by feel that her love of the arts was gen- enough emotional and personal inter- Director Rachel Grahame should uine, and, a bit like the Bach-loving est to stop it being plodding or dull. allow the play to move from location villains of A Clockwork Orange, I felt to location with ease. that the fact these ideals sat alongside At the ADC Theatre from 12th - Unfortunately I was not able to see fascist ones called into question all the 16th October at 7.45 pm Exactly how much is Jenny Scudamore (Miss Jean Brodie) wearing? All that jazz? Roz Gater on a new student-written musical

Jazzmatazz, a jazz musical with script and musical scored by a tinge of angry jealousy bubbling score written entirely by two members of the cast, beneath the surface. The highlight of the whole Dom Carter and Simon Temple, was perhaps the show for me, however, was Benjamin Deery’s toe most ambitious offering by Cambridge students at tappingly electric performance of a ragtime ‘Oh the Edinburgh Fringe this year. Although the when the saints’, which he sang with an effortless reknown of Cambridge as an intellectual institu- vocal range whilst darting around the stage with tion and a hotbed of extra-curricular talent is often the natural air of a cool jazz cat very at home on the enough to entice tourists, the fact that Jazzmatazz stage. Moments like this really illustrated the had to rely solely on this rather than a well known potential of a show really let down by a poorly writ- composer or dramatist made the show more diffi- ten script and lack of attention to technical detail. cult to sell. So the fact that Jazzmatazz was not Although this is not a show offering a challenge to only received well by most critics and audiences its audience that could bring it anywhere near the but that the whole crew actually mounted a suc- realms of originality, it succeeds as happy-go-lucky cessful publicity effort is certainly an achievement frothy entertainment with a few touching dramat- in itself, especially considering the frenzied climate ic exchanges and music numbers worth a peek. of artistic competition at the Fringe being intrinsi- cally so brutally ferocious. At the ADC Theatre 13th - 16th October at 1pm Unfortunately, however, the ambition of the project seems to pull down the performance itself, re and certain vital features such as set design and lighting are doomed to simplicity, perhaps due to the sheer scale of the enterprise. Although the cast

look and sound impressive, all singing well, often ADC Theat passionately, and performing with enthusiasm a few catchy numbers and slick dance routines, it was the nature of the predictable and often rather clichéd script that repeatedly lowered the tone. The whole premise of the show, described as ‘A timeless story of four young hopefuls falling in love and try- ing to make it big…’, is one so familiar that it real- ly yearned to be infused with a strong sense of orig- inality, which this show failed to give it. However, frustratingly for the audience, the talent of the actors and musicians is so often strikingly impres- sive – so nearly all that jazz. The four leading actors succeed in acting the script as convincingly as possible; with Nicky Arding as the wannabe starlet willing to sacrifice it all for fame looking desperately into the audience with a wide-eyed and longing stare, pitted against the modest underdog Louisa (Alex Spencer-Jones), whose secret desire to make it big also was under- Nicky Arding, with Ben Deery and Simon Temple MUSIC 22 October 8, 2004 www.varsity.co.uk Sizing up Roni: the Outkast of drum’n’bass? Ned Beauman gets the veteran’s take on Dizzee Rascal

V Records There’s a housing estate in Trench bulldozed to make way for yuppie con- to pick up a record and think, “I could do Town, the most violent area of Kingston, dominiums. I don’t know, I wasn’t there. that,” rather than sit in a room and Jamaica, called Arnette Gardens. It’s But we shouldn’t complain too much, think, “I’m going to roll like this, and nicknamed the Concrete Jungle. On because the death of jungle allowed the what’s going on outside of this room is mix-tapes from the Kingston dub emergence of producers like Photek, irrelevant.”’ I ask him what he thinks of sound-systems of the early 90’s the MCs whose music will still sound futuristic in grime, where, in my opinion, the real were giving constant shout-outs to ‘alla a thousand years’ time. innovation is happening. ‘I think grime the junglists’ - a few of these tapes found Return to V subtracts the jazz, but not is the kids searching for their identity. I their way to London, some rave produc- the creativity, and all eighteen tracks are don’t think it’s fully-formed yet. It’s got a ers sampled the ‘junglist’ chants, and a collaborations. ‘Every time I’ve put out chance to be as big as drum’n’bass was, genre got its name. an album people have always tried to but the lyrics are still too violent.’ Roni Size was there from the start. In pinpoint what it is, but I’m a man of How can drum’n’bass get back its 1993, a year before jungle really infected many styles. I’ve been influenced by hip vitality? ‘People in drum’n’bass need to London, he released his debut EP Fatal hop, ragga, jazz, funk, soul, r’n’b... I’ve start making albums. Like Dizzee Rascal Dose on V Recordings. Now, over a tapped into a little bit of everything and tells a story, there’s a journey.’ He may be decade later, it’s Return to V. ‘With this still it sounds like a Roni Size record.’ right (although there was a time when album,’ Size says, ‘I wanted to go back to Would he ever consider making a drum’n’bass producers started thinking the beginning, back to the label that put straight-up hip hop record? ‘I couldn’t. I harder about the album format, and that me where I am today.’ And where is he might go into the studio and try, but it era produced monstrously self-indulgent today? He remains the genre’s best- would sound dubby, it would sound dif- prog drum’n’bass like Goldie’s 1998 known producer among non-fans ferent.’ In the past he’s compared Saturnz Return). because of his 1997 Mercury Music drum’n’bass today to hip hop in the Size is touring this month, and he’s Prize-winning album New Forms. On eighties: young rebel genres. Does he putting on a real show. ‘I love being on New Forms, he added swerving jazz think drum’n’bass could ever be as big as stage live, that’s the key, that’s where horns and jumpy double bass to his hip hop is now? ‘No. America is too stuff really happens. We’ve got a drum- breaks, making one of the first jungle massive. Drum’n’bass comes from mer, a stand-up bass player, four vocal- albums that was complex and musical Britain, and Britain’s a small place, so ists, and myself and another DJ. The enough to stand repeated listening. how could it compare?’ ultimate record I’d like to make would be Around the same time, people start- What does he think of the genre a full live drum’n’bass record, which I’m ed talking about ‘drum’n’bass’. There are these days? ‘I think the world close to doing.’ He clearly still wants to some who claim the press gave up using drum’n’bass scene has lost a lot of its cul- push boundaries. (Or, a cynic might say, the word ‘jungle’ because it sounded too ture. The shelf-life of a record is too he’s struggling to stay relevant.) ‘With intimidating, too black; defanged, short. There are still classics but people every genre there’s someone who just declawed, and rebranded as drum’n’bass, want the next new tune so quick that steps out of the scene, like the Prodigy the music could be played in trendy they’ll forget about the tune that they with techno or Outkast with chrome bars and at tasteful middle-class got last week.’ drum’n’bass. I would love to be the dinner parties. Jungle, they say, was gen- Clearly, drum’n’bass is getting less Outkast of drum’n’bass, but I wouldn’t Roni practises his Jedi mind tricks trified like a slum neighbourhood being inventive. ‘It’s very easy now for people put myself in the same league yet.’ Modern Life was Rubbish: 1994

Ha Ha Superstar 1994. Dead and gone. And what? As bopped the streets to the Beastie we approach the end of 2004, maybe Boys’ Ill Communication and whiney Jessica Holland sees the NME Club Tour at the APU bar a few surprises are still left up certain crush-stricken adolescents mouthed perfectly coiffured magical musicians’ the words to Green Day’s Dookie Jessic sleeves – but has there really been and Weezer’s self-titled tour de

a Holland anything worth covering your bed- force. Cool nerds watched Beck room walls with pictures of? breakdance in flares to ‘Loser’ on Now, I really don’t want to get Top of the Pops as Prozac Diamond wanky here, but sitting in some White kids moshed to the trashed up top floor flat in Offspring’s Smash, while girls read Edinburgh town surrounded by cold Plath, dyed their hair pink and roast chicken, Tesco cava and budg- became proud of their periods to et vodka I couldn’t help but have Hole’s Live Through This. somewhat of a midnight revelation Hip hop, arguably, experienced its that the majority of music I wanted finest year with the release of to hear right then was released in Biggie’s gangsta chronicle Ready To the year 1994. The year that explod- Die, the raw reality of Nas’ Illmatic ed with a sound of its time; a razor- and the chronic-consumed G-Funk edged supernova produced by its of Snoop’s Doggystyle, characteriz- period. A cruel but kind reminder of ing whole new styles of their own, the impasse of the year we find our- from East to West Coast, that selves tumbling towards the end of. remain iconic templates of urban life Indie music, on both sides of the and set a standard that rappers have Atlantic, was producing records to since continued to aspire to. live, fall in love and die to. Elliott The previous decade isn’t remem- Smith’s Roman Candle and Jeff bered for too much worth remember- Buckley’s Grace brought two debuts ing but somehow everything seemed that offered otherworldly ethereal to come together in 1994, against the voices, no longer with us, that sung odds. Kids touched, sweated and bled of the fragile romance of a quietly the music that said something to Queens of Noize rock out behind the decks beating heart. Nirvana’s Unplugged them about their lives. They smiled in New York became timeless in a and screamed to records that were not On paper Har Mar Superstar’s just at his jeans and beg him to strip. He laps They’re usually too excited about moment as Oasis’ Definitely Maybe only relevant to them but were them. another novelty act, gyrating in his it up and descends into the throng to the next song to let anything play defined modern British life in Life was shit and they had something wife-beater, all ugly-cool post-mod- croon eye to eye, circuiting the room, more than halfway through, (rock eleven songs charting the hopeless- to hold onto other than the past. ern styling and no substance. The sur- exiting from one door and coming back classics, Libertines-y indie, a bit of ness, arrogance and intoxication of Ecstatic dancefloors, smashed bottles, prising thing about seeing him per- in another. The music’s just an accesso- Country and some kitsch pop) which youth. Suede’s elegant Dog Man Star saliva swapping, grey skies and care- form in the flesh is that he’s actually ry. No Englishman could pull this off. only adds to the messy atmosphere and the Manic Street Preachers’ less futures. Songs that illuminated good at what he does. He’s succeeded on stage by another of being at a cheerful mate’s birthday caustic The Holy Bible witnessed the moment. Which is strutting around the stage, triumph of energy and charisma over party rather than an audience mem- glorious musical ambition that cut Smelly junkie punks, Village posing and preening and thrusting, and musical talent, Camden’s celeb-happy ber at a gig. to the heart and has not been bet- People breakdancers and gaylord playing the audience like a circus clown; hellraisers the Queens of Noize. The Har Mar and the Queens play per- tered since. New Romantics belonged to years but somehow transcending the mere best friends you never had, they run fect hosts throughout, twirling glee- Ravers pilled and came down to gone by, and good riddance. A slapstick of it all and filling up the room around in clattery heels and ripped ful audience members round on the the Prodigy’s Music for a Jilted decade disappeared. Modern life with his sleazy, sexed-up funky white- tights and tiny dresses, hair in their eyes, dancefloor, hanging out on the steps Generation and Goldie’s tenement was rubbish and pop music held out boy energy, creating a frisson that the model-beautiful, shouting into each outside their bus, getting drunk and ode, Inner City Life; stoners lost a helping hand. pissed up freshers are feeding on and other’s ears and jumping around rockly noisy, and pouring their energy into their minds to Portishead’s stunning turning to feed on each other. They to every song they put on, singing along the night; there efforts are returned a wraithlike Dummy; white b-boys Ronojoy Dam scream when he peels off his vest, claw and throwing shapes. hundred fold. www.varsity.co.uk October 8, 2004 MUSIC 23

Album Reviews

Optimus Grime Soundtrack of Our Lives have been conceived by a bearded Ned Beauman on a scene so hot it’ll burn your face off Swedish bloke in a kaftan called Origin (Phase 1) Ebbot. So while ‘Bigtime’ evokes the ed something so new it’s barely jerky rhythms of dancehall, with the kind of take-no-prisoners rock that recognisable as music. chilling austerity of electro. Most October 21st Oasis cut their teeth on, ‘Midnight olydor

P One of my defining memories of people hate all those genres, and (WEA) Children (Enfants De La Nuit)’ has summer 2004 is the mingled sound those people will probably hate grime the ethereal (okay, let’s face it, hippy- of radio static and bubbling pasta as I more than anything they’ve ever Swedish garage rock? Nurse, it’s hap- ish) quality of the Velvet Undergound. stood hunched over the radio in my heard. pening again. TSOOL (as the hip and Their influences are obvious, but kitchen, twisting the dial like a safe- But you’re not one of those people. non-dyslexic like to call them) are vet- when, on ‘Royal Explosion’, the band cracker trying to get to one of these Grime has hand-claps like bones erans of the 2001 garage revival that declares its intent to step above the pirate grime stations that I’d heard so breaking and chattering hi-hats with brought us The Hives. But wait! Don’t ‘self-indulgent lo-fi soldiers’, you real- much about. Normally I got nothing, the beat always coming when you let that put you off. ize that that is exactly the point. but sometimes the planets and the least expect it. In its textures it has a Like its predecessor Behind The They’re putting the glorious ‘trad’ back pigeons aligned just right and there it lot in common with crunk, the Dirty Music, Origin (Phase 1) combines in trad-rock, with added kaftan. was, you know it when you hear it. South style of hip hop production thumping riffs and driving anthems, And the next afternoon I went out that you hear on hits like Usher’s with the kind of songs that could only Sam Elliot into the sunshine and if I was lucky ‘Yeah’, but it’s much wilder. Some the guy in the block of flats near my grime has MCs, some doesn’t. A lot house had opened his window and of the MCs, unfortunately, are as Thirteen turned his speakers outwards, so the obsessed with sex and guns as the At least ‘Do No Wrong’ and ‘Into whole street could hear the bleep and worst of hip hop, but those that break Senses the Fire,’ both owing much to Turin snap of ‘Stand Up Tall’ by Dizzee through commercially, like Dizzee The Invitation Brakes, show off Will South’s dis- Rascal. Rascal, Shystie and Wylie, write their tinctive, tender vocals and some Grime, like jungle and garage rhymes with a lot more wit. catchy piano – and with these as the Out now before it, began in London, and now Over the next few weeks, Varsity first two tracks, the first listen is (Vertigo) it runs inextricably through the place will be covering the grime scene from deceptively promising. like the Thames or the Tube. But every angle. We’ll be interviewing But while there is undeniably being outside London is no excuse to the hottest talent on the grime scene, Of all the things that Britain needs strong material here, The Invitation ignore this movement. Yes, if you the leading producers, MCs, and in 2004, this reviewer would tend to slips into derivative filler much too Grime MC Shystie ignore it, it will eventually go away. DJs, people who aren’t household put international goodwill and often towards the end to be anything But I could say the same of you. names yet, and, yeah, never will be, affordable housing above piano-led more than a reasonable album. You know when you hear someone’s Like all the musical revolutions of but are delivering us the twenty-first indie bands. Thirteen Senses’ gim- There’s nothing obviously seriously name, and then you forget it, and the last twenty years, grime is so new century beat by beat. We’ll review the mick, since you ask, is that they wrong per se, but Thirteen Senses then before long it’s too late to ask that telling you about its influences best grime releases and the biggest come from Cornwall… yep, that’s it will have to drastically reassess to again, and you just have to bluff? A tells you absolutely nothing about the grime nights. By the time Varsity – that’s actually the most distinctive avoid a medium-bright future of lot of you must be feeling like that genre itself. But, for those in the arrives in your porters’ lodge, what thing that the record label could middle billings at festivals, three with grime. In the late eighties it was awkward position I was talking about we write will already be out of date. think of for the press releases. more identical albums and being all about acid house. Then jungle. earlier, I’ll do my best. Grime com- But you have to put up with that Perhaps they’re planning a home- nobody’s favourite band. Then garage. And now grime. Each bines the frantic pace of garage, with when the scene is so hot the vinyl is grown Beach Boys, but Pet Sounds time, bedroom producers have creat- the bass-fixation of jungle, with the melting on the turntables. this is woefully not. Dan Benton DO YOU WANT A CAREER AT THE LEADING EDGE OF TECHNOLOGY?

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3rd in the Sunday Times 100 Best Companies to Work For 2004 www.varsity.co.uk October 8, 2004 FILM: LATIN SPECIAL 25 The Chilean charm of Pedro Machuca Agata Belcen starts our look at the flourishing world of latin movies

Machuca is very quickly becoming the grows unexpectedly between slum- most successful film in Chile ever. The dweller Machuca and middle class effect of the work has been so far-reach- Gonzalo Infante, as they become class- imagenet ing that now the word Machuca is used mates during the fall of the Socialist as a synonym for someone belonging to Allende government and the installation a shantytown, after little tough Pedro of the military junta in 1973. It is not Machuca, one of the central characters hard to see why the film became so from the slums of Santiago. However, entangled in its country’s politics, caus- right from the start, this film has tried ing some to accuse the government of not to sell itself as a political film: using it as propaganda; Rightists to ‘Cinema is not the right medium for claim that only a sick mind could have political argument,’ says Mamoun portrayed the Chilean military in such a Hassan, co-writer and former Head of way; and still others to hope that it Production at the British Film Institute. would be a film to finally reconcile the ‘The moment that you say ‘political’, events if 1973. people stay at home. A political story is always very difficult because it is about a group of people, but audiences like sto- ‘Cinema is not the ries to be about individuals. And you need to get an audience to get your right medium money back.’ For these very reasons, for political Machuca had to look for funding not only in Chile but also in the U.K., argument’ France and Spain. Chilean director and co-writer Manuella Martelli (left), the rising star and female lead of Machuca, may end up a star in spite of herself Andres Wood believes that because In his direction of the young chil- ‘Shots can be startling, shocking financial considerations dictate so dren, Wood chose to leave politics and eye-catching, but once the film is Manuella Martelli’s Rising Star strongly over filmmakers, the creativ- entirely out: ‘I never talked to the chil- over, when you can no longer remem- ity of Chilean films has been severely dren about 1973. If they had any ques- ber the context of a shot, you can’t rec- Compared to a Goya painting by the New York Times, Manuela Martelli, the restricted. He does however concede tions I would give them an answer, but I ollect it either. Every shot has to have female lead of Machuca, is set to make it big. The 21-year-old theatrically optimistically, ‘We’re better than we wanted them to have a naïve view of a function; images have to make up a untrained art student, jumped at the unexpected opportunity of playing Kathy, were 15 years ago.’ And so I asked, if everything, not the political views and part of the bigger story. I am opposed protagonist of B-Happy, and working with a director ( Justininano) whose earli- life had been different, if audience backgrounds of their families. I didn’t to post-modernism and post-struc- er film Caluga o Menta she so admired. She has captivated the critics, winning figures were of no consequence, if talk about my political views either. I turalism. A filmmaker can’t think like the award for Best Actress in the International Festival of Latin American money grew on trees, would the film thought politics would ruin it. that. Any epic shots of the revolution- Cinema for her extraordinary portrayal of Kathy, a young girl whose life is torn have turned out differently, ‘It would The cinematography (Miguel J. ary marches that we used for example, apart when her father is jailed and her mother dies. Despite her swiftly blos- always have been the same as it was; Littín) parallels these opinions with pre- are very short. We didn’t want people soming fame she maintains that she wants to remain low profile, but her talent a love story between two boys.’ cision, never trying to make an overt to fall in love with the shot, but to and allure makes this seem little less than completely unrealistic. LS This love story is the friendship that political point or to be too impressive. keep the idea.’ Amenabar’s morbidity only Los Muertos At the forefront of a new wave of So is that why you chose a non actor skin deep young filmmakers in Argentina, to play your protagonist? It seems to Lisandro Alonso’s new film is char- suggest you wanted to keep much of It would be easy to think that Alejandro acteristically enigmatic. The mini- the rawness of the documentary style. Amenabar is obsessed with death. mal plot follows a 54 year old man’s I spent a couple of months travelling Having directed The Others in 2001 and release from jail and search for his around villages in Argentina looking before that Abre los Ojos in 1997 (The adult daughter through the jungle. for someone who would want to play source for Hollywood’s Vanilla Sky), his But despite years of incarceration, the part, but most of the men who new motion picture is Mar Adentro.It’s the murderer seems largely looked suitable were alcoholics. based on the true life story of fisherman unchanged; or, at least, the ambiguity Eventually I found Argentino Vargas Ramon Sampedro, who suffered a terri- of the harrowing ending seems to who was living in a mud house with ble accident at sea, leaving him severely suggest so. Glacially paced and bor- his twenty-four children from three paralysed. Sampedro spent the rest of dering on the pretentious, this film different mothers. He had never his life trying to fight for his right over should come with a strong art house been to the cinema in his life, and his own life. But Amenabar refutes warning. This said, it was punctured didn’t even want to see the film when charges of morbidity: ‘I’m not particular- with beautiful imagery and penetrat- it was finished. He wanted to be ly obsessed with death, but it is some- ed a rarely examined issue: does paid and to settle back into his sub- thing that all of us have to face, all of us release from prison actually bring sistence farming routine. He was that are here. So why not talk about it?’ freedom? Here, director Alonso dis- perfect for the part. cusses his work with Varsity. You said you wanted to explore the relationship between prison and Argentinian cinema is shifting away nature. What in particular sparked from its current commercial nature. this interest? Where do you think it’s heading? I was inspired by the notion that Fabien Bielinsky’s Nine Queens - physical freedom is not always released in 2001, a social/political enough. Vargas, after serving a long comment on society in Argentina - set sentence for having committed two a precedent for less commercial films. murders, has been released from Partly on the back of this, a new group prison, but in his head he is not free. of young filmmakers known now as He has no choices. He breathes, but imagenet ‘The Independents’ has emerged. he is not alive. This year, Spain has shown itself to be They tend to have no government The end of Los Muertos is disturbing- a source of real talent in European cine- financial support but make original ly ambiguous. Did you want the ma, and Mar Adentro brings it to the top movies with a political conscious. viewer to reach his own conclusions? of its game. Having won the Jury Grand Who would you say was the biggest Yes. I never really had a clear idea for Prize at this summer’s Venice Film influence on your filmmaking style? the ending. I hoped it would come Festival, it has just been selected as the Abbas Kiarostami. He’s an Iranian organically. I saw two small toys lying Spanish contender at the Oscars for filmmaker who also bridges the doc- on the ground and knew they would Foreign film, outstripping serious rivals umentary/fiction divide, as he did in be the key. I wanted to create a ten- like Pedro Almodovar’s Bad Education his recent film Five Dedicated to Ozu. sion between childhood innocence and and Jose Luis Garci’s Tiovivo 1950. It consists of five sequences - for the father’s criminal past. The toys are Internationally premiered in Venice, instance, a piece of driftwood on the an ominous reminder of the bodies of it is set to be released in England in a seashore, frogs improvising a con- the two kids at the beginning. few months time. cert, blurry shapes on a winter beach.

AB imagenet That kind of thing. Lucy Styles experiences and how to get them

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Issued by HSBC Holdings plc www.varsity.co.uk October 8, 2004 FASHION 27 A Winter Kind of Blue

Accessories

Gold patent leather belt: £2.75 from Cancer Research

Blue tweed bag: £20, and blue gloves: £20, both from Accessorize

Antique gold shoes: £59.99 from Office

Range of Blue silk ties: £9.99 from Tie-Rack

Blue glass and sterling silver earrings: From £7 at Nomads

Blue and Gold embroid- ed silk shawl: Amy wears: blue top (£5.99) and white vest (£9.99), both from H&M, gold sequined scarf from Accessorize £20 from Dix’s stall in (£19.99), blue lycra belt from Cancer Research (£1.75). Shoes and jeans; models own. the Market James wears: turquoise cardigan (£8) from the Market, blue long sleeved t-shirt (£28) from Dogfish, grey leather belt with gold buckle (£3.99) from Oxfam. Shoes and jeans; models own. Emma wears: grey/brown satin dress (£59.99) from Jigsaw, blue crocheted cardigan (£28.99), gold leather pumps (£25), gold pendant (£7.99), all from Topshop, yellow leather belt (£2.50) from market, silver and pearl necklace (£3.99) from H&M, pearls (£2) from Scope. Gold Faux leather bracelet: £1.99 from Stylists: Johanna Z-Sharp and Sally Jennings. Models: Amy, James and Emma. H&M

Forget about green: from the collections on show at London Fashion Week in September it was clear that blue is the colour to look out for this season. And always has been - from Cleopatra’s earrings and Thatcher’s power suits to Elvis’ blue suede shoes, versions of this colour Egyptian have oozed cool authority in fashion throughout history. Any hue goes style gold Snazzy blue earrings: sports car: feel - from fantastically bright to darker than dark, everyone can wear it. For £6 from free to dream... added impact mix different shades together, then team with egyptian Accessorize gold, pearls, or simply your favourite faded jeans. VISUAL ARTS 28 October 8, 2004 www.varsity.co.uk When art crimes get legal Ask the ‘Graphotist’ extraordinaire, Banksy shows us that the city is as good a space for Artist contemplation and provocation as any gallery, says Lisa Martinson Olga Smith has been a practising artist for some time, first going through a ‘Rats ... are impossible to fully eradicate battle, but lost the war, and as their his new restaurant and you’re doing Merc belongs to a car jacker, but the “detrimental” eastern European art- [sic]... they have brought entire civilisa- work was accepted, their philosophy album covers for Blur, someone’s bound privileges of ‘culture’ are not unrelated schooling and then serving a two-year tions to their knees. If you feel small, was forgotten. Artists now have the to start whispering of a ‘sell out.’ And, to who’s got the dollars to pay dancing sentence as a ‘commercial artist’ work- insignificant and dirty they are the ulti- shock gesture down pat, and we, the as the protesters at the unveiling of his Justice. The art gallery is an ideological ing mainly on murals in London. In the mate role model.’ Banksy audience, turn our cheek, ready for the Blind Justice (“Trust No-one”) in space. stark reality of Cambridge, Olga is a We expect Art in galleries. We expect anticipated slap in the face. Clerkenwell Green this summer were But so is the city, and no-one can linguist in her final year. She is looking it carefully curated and accompanied by Narratives of art history are con- quick to note, ‘it’ll change nothing.’ No, patrol its limits, nor constantly curate forward to planning a small exhibition exhibition catalogues, and all conscien- trolled within institutional spaces. In it probably won’t. After all, Guernica at its every damp, dirty corner. Neither are in her native Newnham, where the tiously condensed or contrived into October 2003, Banksy intervened at the UN HQ couldn’t stop America we waiting for the slap on the face on most recent “Silent” series, two of which palatable form for diligent art-lover and Tate Britain, gluing “Banksy 1975, going to war, so Banksy probably won’t the Monday morning 7.45 to Waterloo. are presented below, will be on show idle culture vulture alike. Maybe, if we alongside her other works. are just a bit radical, we’d also quite like Below, Olga discusses four aspects of her it to challenge us (or the norms of most recent series. Middle England). Rarely, however, do alk.com we expect to be confronted on damp, t dirty Tottenham Court Road by crows flying the skull and cross-bones from a Blur streetlamp, by monkeys declaring ‘one day we’ll rule the world’ or by a band of Smith Olga anarchist rats deftly defying the laws of gravity that we are obliged to observe. Banksy’s characters are actors in a plot in which the undertrodden and over- abused can only complain so many times before they come out from the corners, all guns blazing. One of the paintings in Smith’s series The city is his exhibition space. More in the manner of the radical avant- On Concealing: Silent paintings gardes of the 1920s and 1930s, Banksy (see the grey/white abstractions succeeds where the anaemic and over- above and below) always begin with corporatised YBA culture has unremit- colourful, finished figurative paint- tingly and monotonously failed. Going ings. The grey and white layers grad- beyond the shock-horror media circus ually veil the original painting, the of the Saatchi-world/ Turner prize vari- whole process comparable to the Challenging, provocative ‘interventions’: Banksy’s stencil graffiti can be seen on walls and trains throughout the nation ant of contemporary art, Banksy’s phenomenon of forgetting, blanking ‘interventions’ (some would call them Crimewatch UK has ruined the coun- be able to stop those dollar bills being No, a bit of graffiti won’t sweep in a out what has happened before. The vandalism, some art) attack the system tryside for all of us” to the wall, depict- tucked into the garter belt of Justice. new world order, but it may make us painting progresses in time, but the with a mordant humour and resolute ing a rural scene disfigured with police But, frankly, he is at least offering more imagine a different way forward. So, progression is towards zero and viciousness that springs from a refresh- tape. It was a parody of the contempo- than weekend diversion for the middle- imagine the cityscape an exhibition; silence. This is probably much like ing disregard for their ontological status rary relevance of the neighbouring classes. imagine it continually changing; imag- watching it snowing, when little by as artworks. Finally, a provocation depictions of pastoral idylls; more cru- The art gallery authorises certain ine it written from the thousand voices little objects become less and less beyond the over-cooked trivialities of cially, it was a swipe against the art truths about civilisation and about life. below. ‘A city that felt like a living recognisable until they are finally ‘but is it art?’ institutions that mindlessly endorse In particular, it defines who has ‘culture’ breathing thing which belonged to obliterated. Neither contemplation nor provoca- such narratives. and who doesn’t, or rather who can be everybody, not just the estate agents On Abstraction: The truth is that tion should be confined to institutional Of course, when you’re so successful trusted to take care of whose ‘culture.’ and barons of big business. Imagine a I have been painting figuratively for spaces. Subversion has been standard- a subversive that Jamie Oliver’s contact- The Elgin marbles logically belonged city (...a world...) like that and stop a long time. I do really like it, but ised, and so the avant-garde won the ing your people to get some artwork for to Lord Elgin to the same extent that a leaning against the wall, it’s wet.’ recently I have been more and more interested in moving away from making images, and the ‘concealing’ technique of the Silent series has C.U.V.A.S. The Fitz gets in touch with its modern side provided a kind of solution for this transformation from the figural to Sophie Priestley the recent appearance of the stunning The work, on long-term loan from the abstract. white sculpture, the ‘after shot’ includes The Henry Moore Foundation, sets On Medium: Acrylic, which is

.com You can’t miss it. Historically seen as an exhibition of Lucian Freud etchings up an exciting contrast between old my favourite medium, can have a ve the reliable grown-up to Kettle’s Yard’s and a new display of recent acquisitions and new in its niche of 1930s archi- solid appearance, but when mixed

tchi rebellious teenager, the city’s largest of contemporary prints, including tecture and Soane’s façade. At first, with water it acquires a lovely

.ar and oldest art gallery is telling us, in no works by Marc Quinn and Anish its pure whiteness against the back- translucent quality. The solidity of subtle terms, that it has some youth Kapoor, all three in stark contrast to ground of greyer stone seems pas- white shapes is illusionary as they are www left in it too. the rather more traditional exhibitions sively pleasing. The sculpture seems constructed out of almost transpar- The monumental Henry Moore for which our dear old Fitz is famous. to work well in an older setting and ent layers. I like to let the medium replica, newly positioned on the left of The director, Duncan Robinson, although it acts as a bold statement, determine to a large extent the the Classical façade, is a wonderful insists, however, that the Henry Moore neither architecture, nor sculpture appearance of the painting, letting it symbol of the fact that the museum’s is merely a declaration that the muse- overpower. The work, based on a have a voice of its own. new priorities lie in the display of more um houses, and has always housed, a maquette of Moore’s called Reclining On Monumentality: Some of the modern art, as part of the huge large collection of works from the Nude, is still within the tradition of works that comprise the series are makeover of the museum which took twentieth century and is there to dispel the female nude. On closer inspec- quite big, the one shown below being Jean Dubuffet: Dhotel nuance place over the summer vac. As well as the myth that it does not. tion, though, the nude is active and an example, at over a metre wide. d’abricot 1947 aggressive, willing you into the This is probably the result of my refurbished museum. She challenges spending time doing murals… Of Cambridge University Visual Arts your stare and seems almost affront- course, there is also an element of Society is a forum for the discussion ed that you are looking at her at all. thrill when faced with a wide expanse and promotion of contemporary art. Although her outline is smooth, she of a blank sheet or a board where The society’s first event of the year pushes her chest forward, in a con- even the edges are not an impedi- will take place on Thursday 14th frontational manner; her breasts are ment: going beyond them suggests a iona Symington

October at 8pm in the Alcock Room F angular; and her left leg seems claw- forever expanding pictorial space. of Jesus College and is a group debate like. You notice her, but in a sense on Outsider Art by Colin Rhodes, she is not there to be noticed. Roger Cardinal, John Maizels and Rather, she is there to snap you out Damian and Delaine LeBas. of your belief that the Fitzwilliam Outsider Art is defined as the only contains works pre-1900. She

branch of artistic expression created is the new version of the lions which Smith Olga beyond the bounds of the cultural flank the façade, who look timid in norm. The expression is generally comparison to her. She guards, but attributed to the work of the ‘insane’, she also wills you in. So, while you or people on the fringes of society. won’t miss her, you may find yourself even more compelled by her beckon- Moore’s Reclining Nude: tells us the Fitz is an art gallery, not a bank. ing words, than her youthful breasts. The largest of the paintings Our graduates are playing Footsie*with us in no time.

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*FTSE 100 Share Index – a weighted average, calculated minute by minute, of the market capitalisation of the 100 largest quoted companies on the London Stock Exchange. October 8, 2004 30 SPORT www.varsity.co.uk Men cruise to victory but ladies lose again

Gemma Farrell Before the races began, both teams race, a despondent Oxford made their had a crucial hour in which to practise comeback as the helms were swapped in sailing boats that they had never sailed the boats. Anthony Lewis, Pete AS THE majority of Cambridge stu- before. This is one of the challenging Davidson and Robbie McDonald took dents wound down for the summer, 15 aspects of the Varsity constitution, and over the steering for Cambridge and entered an intense training programme plays a key role in determining the most were in trouble at the start, giving the in preparation for their Varsity match. skilful team. Oxford team a great advantage that they The two day event was held at the pres- were unwilling to give up for the rest of tigious Royal Southern Yacht Club, a the race. short sail from the Solent waters where A guilty Oxford Perfection in sailing is rare, but the the racing took place. Light Blues came close as they ham- Three men’s and two ladies’ boats took Captain asked mered the Oxford boats to the back of on Oxford in what was predicted to be a the fleet in the third and fourth races. closely fought contest. The Cambridge for a re-run Rob Styles effectively held up the oppo- men had won and lost races to the Dark sition and brought his teammates to the Blues over the year, but it was the ladies front to give them a 3-1 lead going into who had it all to prove, having spent the Ed Clay, Rob Styles and Jon Pinner the final day, one win short of the title. year sailing, not together, but with the took an early lead in the first race and The Light Blues then dictated the last men in a mixed team. won comfortably. But in the second two races. At the finish line, the Cambridge team left the Dark Blues spinning to the back of the fleet. The Varsity Match Title belonged to the Cambridge men, and the trophy in the hands of Ed Clay, the proud Captain of The Cambridge ladies sailing team pose before their Varsity match against Oxford the Light Blue team. The ladies failed to emulate the a mark of the course and in doing so fin- the front, Farrell assumed an aggressive achievements of their male counterparts. ished ahead of Gemma Farrell’s boat. A game plan to slow the other teams so However, there was a positive start by guilty Oxford Captain requested a re- that Carden could catch up. However, the Light Blues, with Bethan Carden race rather than disqualification and with Carden trailing by more than 4 rising to the challenge of force 5 winds despite protests from the Cambridge minutes, this was an impossible feat and in the first race despite being new at the crews, the Light Blues were forced to the match was lost. A hugely disap- helm. But due to ‘hairy’ conditions, the race again. pointed team returned to shore. Carden, race committee made the decision to use After the final two scheduled races, next year’s ladies Captain, was positive, smaller sails for the next race. This the two teams remained level, making saying: “We were unlucky and inexperi- seemed to suit Oxford’s technique and the re-run race also the decider between enced. Cambridge ladies have not won after another extremely tight race, two evenly matched teams. Carden was a Varsity match for over 10 years and had Oxford sailed to victory. unfortunate to get tangled up on the not won a single race for 3. We took on What happened to the ladies in the starting mark and despite the tactical Oxford and, yes, we lost, but trends are last race of the day proved a crucial input of Sarah Hill on her boat, she changing. Next year, we intend to live up The men’s sailing team cruise to victory on the second day of their Varsity match moment in the event. Oxford missed out struggled to get back into the race. At to the standard set by the boys”. SPORT www.varsity.co.uk October 8, 2004 31 Holders John’s set for another league triumph David Madden takes an in depth look at the teams who’ll battle it out in Division 1 of College Hockey

LAST YEAR’s college hockey league Gonville and Caius - could play a significant role in decid- levels although even this may be ask- Although the defence is at times less season went all the way to the final Last year’s dark horses ing the destiny of the title by turning ing too much unless they get a good than watertight, it was rarely troubled match, when St John’s defeated are still without any over one or more of the top teams. batch of freshers. in the key games last season. They may Magdalene to take the title. It was fit- University players, but St Catherine’s – With Downing – The whip- lack a prolific goalscorer, but last sea- ting that the two best teams in the played as a hard-work- several players gaining ping boys of college son saw enough goals come from the league met on the last day, with John’s ing, well-organised unit Squanderers (University hockey went down to middle of the park. running out deserved winners. last year. They are unlikely to finish as 3rd team) experience, in some heavy defeats last Magdalene - Last year Meanwhile in cuppers, the class of high as last year, but should manage a addition to a good stan- time and should probably they were a very strong Catz shone through once again. They mid-table position. dard of players all over expect to again. Fresher unit, solid in defence and fielded several Blues who were ineligi- Cambridge City - On the park, they are a much improved Alun Rees will improve things, but midfield thanks to a host ble in the league and strolled to the their day they are com- side. Although they may not be quite without other new players the likeli- of university players. title, despite a spirited effort from fortably the best side in good enough to challenge the top hood is that Squanderers goalkeeper However the heart of the opponents Magdalene in the final. the league as they can teams, they won’t be far away. Their Matt Dyson will be very busy. team has been ripped out. Squanderers This year, things may be different. field a blend of youthful remarkable numbers of Blues players Emma – This year midfielders Adam Briggs and Paul Johns are still strong but Magdalene and experienced players, makes them odds-on favourites to they look like a decent Dixon have gone, as has frontman Dan have lost key players. Jesus will be all of whom train regularly and play retain their cuppers title. side, led by Squanderer Brass. New captain Tom Walker also determined to improve on their disas- club hockey on Saturdays. However Clare – Newly pro- Tom Hopwood. They probably won’t be able to call on his trous attempt at defending the league they can also be one of the worst teams moted from the second were unable to compete best player, Will Smith, who will be title last season. Yet there are other in the league if they struggle with division, their main hope against the better sides playing for the Blues in the National teams who will have aspirations to player availablity. They will certainly will be to avoid an imme- last year, but if some good freshers are League. They will need some quality make an impact at the top of the table. win their fair share of games, and diate return to the lower added then this could change. If not freshers if they are to repeat the feats then a top-half finish is the best they of last season. can hope for. Robinson – A serious

es Jesus – Jesus are still lack of strength in depth v smarting from their means that they will capitulation at the hands probably have a similar vid Ea of archrivals Johns in the season to last year. They

Da league in February, when will score plenty of goals they went down 4-1. against the weaker sides in the league This combined with league defeats to thanks to the potent strike-force of Magdalene, Caius and Cambridge Wanderer Garth Collins and City made last season one to forget. A Squanderer Chris Coomber. But weak midfield just could not compete against the top sides a poor defence with the class of the top two teams. and midfield will be exposed and they Failure to strengthen this over the could be on the end of some heavy summer is a worry, but elsewhere new defeats themselves. players have come in. Last year, the Sidney Sussex – Last team relied heavily on Sam Grimshaw, season they generally the league’s best striker, but the addi- struggled. This season tion of Ed Bush, who has already could be worse, especially played for the Squanderers, should if key man Mark make the attack two-pronged. Rushton is unavailable St John’s – The reign- because of Blues commitments. If he ing champions are red- plays, the team could hope to finish up hot favourites to take the near mid-table. Otherwise, it may be a league honours again. long battle to avoid the drop. Last year saw an amazing Trinity – The other influx of freshers, allow- promoted team from last ing them to overtake Jesus as the best year’s second division team in college hockey. Their strength should fare better than is in the midfield, where they possess Clare. Captained by four of the best players in the league in Squanderers midfielder Mike Palmer, Rich Mackenney, Bruce Ed Gardiner, they may well upset a Stocker and Wanderers (University few of the better teams and could end 2003 winners Jesus are overrun by eventual 2004 champions St John’s in one of last year’s crucial games 2nd team) captain, James Sym. up nearer the top than the bottom. CUBC glide past Waikato in New Zealand James Orme Zealand’s equivalent of the Boat event. Having reached the final and and Christian Cormack raced in the 8+, Race, with Cambridge taking on looking strong at the half-way stage, finishing 9th. Rick Dunn raced in the ALTHOUGH THE sole objective Waikato University. Cambridge hit the side markers, pair, sadly not reaching the A final but of the Cambridge University Boat Cambridge did not have much luck effectively ending the race and con- ending up 7th. Stuart Welch was the Club (CUBC) is to win the annual at Henley. The best chance of a medal ceding victory to a team from Oxford most successful of the CUBC involved, boat race against Oxford, the club seemed to be with the coxless four of Brookes. Elsewhere, the eight men winning a Bronze medal in the enjoyed a very productive summer. Steffen Bushbacher, Wayne Pommen, from last year’s Blue Boat raced in the Australian 8+. Kieran West and James There were races in Henley, Andrew Shannon and Nate Kirk, the Grand, the blue riband event of the Livingston attended as spares, also rac- Germany and Poland with the season stern four from the victorious 2004 Regatta, narrowly being knocked out ing at the Non-Olympic World culminating in The Great Race,New Blue Boat, racing in the Visitors by a very strong Harvard crew. There Championships in Banyoles, finishing were other crews in the Student 7th in the Coxed Pair. Coxed Fours, Visitors and Stewards After Athens came New Zealand, competitions but all were soon elimi- and the race against Waikato nated, ending a disappointing regatta University. The New Zealanders, for the CUBC. undefeated in the Great Race until After Henley, three members of last this year, included two Olympians and year’s Goldie crew, Richard Sykes- two Under-23 internationals. Popham, James Orme and Ed However, the Cambridge crew were in Sherwood teamed up with double no mood to allow a repeat of the pre- The crew start their journey home Oxford Blue David Livingston to vious defeats, sending a crew with form a coxless four for the World three blues, three Under 23’s, a Goldie on the fast-flowing Waikato river. Under-23 Championships in Poznan, and experienced international cox Despite brave efforts from the Kiwis to Poland. Despite the crew being just Peter Rudge. get back on terms, Cambridge were three weeks old, they reached the A The crew of Ed Sherwood, Kris always in control, stretching their lead final of the event, finishing 6th in a Coventry, Kyle Coveny, Tom Edwards, down the final straight to win by 3 high quality field. Andrew Shannon, Steffen Bushbacher, lengths. It was a very promising start to The CUBC were well represented in James Orme, Rich Sykes-Poham and the new campaign, which culminates the Olympic Regatta in Athens. Blues Peter Rudge led from the first bend, on the 27th March in the 151st Boat Cambridge defeated Waikato University to win the trophy for the first time Josh West, Tom Stallard, Tom James having picked up on some dead water Race between Oxford and Cambridge. SPORT October 8, 2004 www.varsity.co.uk

“A very promising start to the new campaign” James Orme reports on CUBC’s summer success

Page 31 Derby victory for dogged Blues

University Rugby

CAMBRIDGE UNI 20 ndy Sims A CAMBRIDGE CITY 10

Adam Edelshain

IN A closely fought match, Cambridge University came from behind to beat Cambridge City. Despite leaving the field at half time with the score at 7 – 5 to their town counterparts, the Blues pulled themselves back into the game with a couple of well worked tries from Nicolaas Alberts and Ed Carter. These added to Akinola Abiola’s first half score and Jon Ufton’ conversion and penalty were enough to see off a resolute Cambridge City side in a gripping “Town vs Gown” match. From the first few minutes it was clear that the Blues were the stronger of the two sides. Domination at the scrums helped pin Cambridge City back and force several errors. However, Cambridge were unable to make it count as Johnny Ufton hit the post with the first penalty after 3 minutes and Abiola had a try ruled out for a forward pass. After 10 minutes of intense pressure, A heated scrum between Cambridge City and Cambridge University (left), Simon Frost holds the cup in the Grange Road Clubhouse (right) Cambridge City appeared to have back into the game with a very disci- ceded a penalty right in front of the City’s last clear opportunity as the unable to fight back. cleared their lines. But the Blues raced plined forward line. The Blues were posts. Tom Dann made no mistake University side began to regain its shape It was a hard fought win for the back to score the opening try of the considerably less disciplined and and City had a 5 point lead. and dominate the play. Adam Gilbert University who will have to concentrate game. Cambridge City cleared the ball brought much of the pressure onto A late tackle and some cynical charged down a kick and the Blues on their discipline to win tougher to the half way line but lost the ball at themselves. obstruction by City sparked several turned the ball over before working it matches later in the season. They the throw in and the Blues broke with City forced a throw in the corner and arguments on the field, which then wide for Ed Carter to run the ball home showed great flair against a very solid alarming speed. Nathan McGarry burst almost forced the ball over the line. became violent. The referee had to after an excellent dummy. defence but conceded too many penal- through before the ball was shifted wide Then with about thirty minutes gone, warn several of the Blues while calming Despite another missed conversion ties, especially in the first half. to the right. Neil Toy was unable to Sean Syman of City broke through the both sides down. City’s concentration attempt, the Blues never looked like After receiving the trophy, Simon make it to the line, but with City’s Cambridge University back line and ran seemed to be a little shaken and the losing their lead. With ten minutes to Frost commented that “We didn’t really defence stretched, the ball was played 40 yards, finishing only 15 yards short. Blues made light work of the City go, City thought they might have a stick to our game plan in the first half,” back across the field for Abiola to run in Progress for City was slowed by a series defence after 13 minutes of the second lifeline as a bad mistake by the Blues but later added that “We pulled in the a simple try. Ufton missed his conver- of infringements by the Blues who were half. A mazy run by Abiola saw space forced them back 50 yards to their own reigns in the second half and could have sion attempt but there were seemingly made to pay by Luis Lamas, who broke open up on the opposite flank, which 22 yard line, but imaginative play from scored three or four other tries if not for no worries for Cambridge University, through and scored. A successful con- was then exploited by Nicolaas Alberts Abiola lead to another chance for the a few handling errors.” who were looking very sharp. version gave Cambridge City a 7 – 5 who palmed off two tackles and scored University instead, William Hughes If discipline is improved and fewer Soon afterwards it seemed that lead at half time. just to the right of the posts. This time falling just short of the line. errors are made then the Blues will be Charlie Desmond had only one man to City then looked to capitalise on Ufton converted and the University With only a couple of minutes to difficult to beat this season. However, beat to score another try for the Blues their lead after the break and Sean retook the lead. go, City were penalised for offside much work is still needed before they but an earlier infringement saw play Syman nearly ran through straight Soon after, Tom Dann missed a and Ufton made the score 20–10 to can think about attempting to retain the stopped. This pattern of play became from the restart. The Blues were put penalty for City, which would have put the Blues. This proved to be the trophy at this year’s Varsity match on more and more evident as City crept under fairly heavy pressure and con- them back in front. This proved to be final blow and a tired City were December 7.

Rugby boys lose tour games before holding training session for youth side Olivia Day The final game of the season was against NTK, Northern Tygerberg College. Though the Blues lost this AS PART of the summer training game 20 – 34, it was a hard fought program for the Cambridge University match and there were signs of more Rugby Union Club, the squad flew to cohesive play and fewer mistakes, South Africa. In the first match, which bode well for the rest of the sea- Cambridge played Pretoria University, son. reigning club champions in South After the rugby, the team found time Africa. They suffered a heavy defeat, to help train some of the local young- going down 68 points to 10. sters and provided them with two train- The tour then played a side called ing kits in order to promote the sport. UCT, University of Cape Town. Hopes This rewarding experience helped of an improved performance were make the trip a success in the eyes of dashed though as the Blues lost 24 – 10 the players and now all that remains is in a game that the players felt they for Cambridge to keep winning back should have won. on home soil. The Cambridge Rugby Union squad help train South African children on their tour last summer

COLLEGE HOCKEY REVIEW PAGE 31 CUBC HONOURS IN NEW ZEALAND PAGE 31 VARSITY SAILING PAGE 30