A Christmas Carol
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An Adaptation of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol Book, Music & Lyrics by Bill Robens PRODUCTION SCRIPT www.stagerights.com A MULHOLLAND CHRISTMAS CAROL Copyright © 2016 by Bill Robens All Rights Reserved All performances and public readings of A MULHOLLAND CHRISTMAS CAROL are subject to royalties. It is fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America, of all countries covered by the International Copyright Union, of all countries covered by the Pan-American Copyright Convention and the Universal Copyright Convention, and of all countries with which the United States has reciprocal copyright relations. All rights are strictly reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form, by any means, including mechanical, electronics, recording, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the author. Publication of this play does not necessarily imply that it is available for performance by amateurs or professionals. It is strongly recommended all interested parties apply to Steele Spring Stage Rights for performance rights before starting rehearsals or advertising. No changes shall be made in the play for the purpose of your production without prior written consent. All billing stipulations in your license agreement must be strictly adhered to. No person, firm or entity may receive credit larger or more prominent than that accorded the Author. For all stage performance inquiries, please contact: Steele Spring Stage Rights 3845 Cazador Street Los Angeles, CA 90065 (323) 739-0413 www.stagerights.com CAST OF PRINCIPAL CHARACTERS All the male characters can be either bass or baritone with the exception of Theodore Roosevelt who may be preferable as a tenor— though not necessarily. Female characters can be anything mostly, with the exception of Ellen Beach Yaw who should be a soprano. The music is more of a pop than traditional musical variety, and actors will be asked to play several roles, so the overall composition of the cast is of greater concern than the ranges of most of the individual parts. WILLIAM MULHOLLAND: Cantankerous head of the Department of Water and Power. HARVEY VAN NORMAN: Mulholland’s clerk, and loving head of the Van Norman household. FRED EATON: Clever and calculating, then regretful— death will do that to a person. JOHN WESLEY POWELL: Bold and wise explorer of the old west. YOUNG MULHOLLAND: Hard-working and hopeful Irish immigrant. WOMAN IN RAGS: Impoverished, yet proud, Latina mother. LILLIE MULHOLLAND: Idyllic representation of all that is good and pure. J.B. LIPPINCOTT: Slimy, ambitious snake-in-the-grass. HARRISON GRAY OTIS: Old world 19th century robber baron. THEODORE ROOSEVELT: Passionate, committed, progressive President of the United States. THE VAN NORMAN CHILDREN: Martha, 16; Peter, 13; Mary, 12; Melinda, 10; Pablito, 8: Impossibly adorable and loving children. AUTHOR'S NOTE There are dozens of non-principal characters in the script which are far too numerous to mention, so actors may be asked to play several roles among the principals and chorus. A cast breakdown of approximately 11 men and 7 women appears to work best with only the actor playing Old Mulholland confined to a single role. Accordingly, any part of the stage may be used to represent several different locales over the course of the play. Expediency matters more than realism; the chaotic nature of actors frantically changing hats and wigs while stagehands move props and flats around to indicate a change in scenery adds to the fun and irreverence of the piece. LIST OF SONGS ACT I #1 Opening Number .................................................................................................................. Chorus #2 Mulholland's Theme ............................................................................ Mulholland & Van Norman #3 L.A. River ............................................................................................................. Young Mulholland #4 All Dams Leak ............................................................ Water Dept. Bigwigs & Moneyed Interests #5 Our Owens Valley Song .............................................................................................. Townspeople #6 Land Grab ........................................................................................................................ Ensemble #7 Hail the Water ........................................................... Ellen Beach Yaw, Spectators & Dignitaries ACT II #8 Bully ................................................................................................. Teddy Roosevelt & Mulhollan #9 Christmas Time ............................................................................................................. Keeler Folk #10 This Fine Dam ........................................ Van Normans, Townspeople, Mulholland & St. Francis #11 I Envy the Dead ............................................................................................................. Mulholland #12 Finale ............................................................................................................................... Ensemble A MULHOLLAND CHRISTMAS CAROL – PRODUCTION SCRIPT 1 ACT I SCENE 1 AT RISE: The city streets of the Owens Valley, on a cold winter's night. Out of the ether emerge TOWNSPEOPLE. SONG #1: OPENING NUMBER TOWNSPERSON #1 ARRIVING IN THE DESERT PLAINS OF CALIFORNIA LAND CAME A MAN FROM ACROSS THE SEA THE FUTURE IN HIS HAND TOWNSPERSON #2 TO RELIEVE A THIRSTY CITY A DESERT HE WOULD TAME HE'D ENGINEER AN AQUEDUCT MULHOLLAND WAS HIS NAME TOWNSPEOPLE MULHOLLAND, MULHOLLAND MULHOLLAND, MULHOLLAND TOWNSPERSON #3 LIKE ZEUS OF OLD HE RULED THE CITY HE MADE GREAT THAT HE'D BE REMEMBERED FOR THIS ALAS WAS NOT HIS FATE TOWNSPERSON #4 THE SAME WATER HE BROUGHT TO L.A. FOR WHICH HE'D EARNED HIS FAME DROWNED CITIES IN A DAM COLLAPSE TO HIS EVERLASTING SHAME TOWNSPEOPLE MULHOLLAND, MULHOLLAND MULHOLLAND, MULHOLLAND TOWNSPEOPLE continue singing "Mulholland" under the soloists. TOWNSPERSON #1 A CITY ENGINEER TOWNSPERSON #3 A MAN WHO KNEW NO FEAR 2 A MULHOLLAND CHRISTMAS CAROL – PRODUCTION SCRIPT TOWNSPERSON #2 HE MADE LOS ANGELES GROW TOWNSPERSONS #1-4 WHAT WOULD BECOME OF IT HE'D NEVER KNOW TOWNSPERSON #4 BUT AS TIME ELAPSED TOWNSPERSONS #1, 3 & 4 ST. FRANCIS DAM COLLAPSED TOWNSPERSON #2 TO HIS EVERLASTING SHAME ALL TOWNSPEOPLE MULHOLLAND WAS HIS NAME. GOD REST YE MERRY GENTLEMEN Song ends. A MULHOLLAND CHRISTMAS CAROL – PRODUCTION SCRIPT 3 SCENE 2 CHRISTMAS EVE AT THE OWENS VALLEY BRANCH OF THE DWP, 1928 Water baron, WILLIAM MULHOLLAND, now in his 70s, is sitting at his desk going over some calculations. His assistant, HARVEY VAN NORMAN, approaches. MULHOLLAND (to himself) At 11.4 billion gallons, the St. Francis Dam should provide the water capacity we need to ensure that Los Angeles will continue to grow indefinitely. Heh heh heh. VAN NORMAN Mr. Mulholland, sir? MULHOLLAND What is it? VAN NORMAN I've been employed with the DWP for a number of years, sir, and I have a question to ask which I wouldn't consider asking if it weren't for the season. MULHOLLAND Out with it, man. What do you want? VAN NORMAN Might it be possible to perhaps release some of the water out of the Alabama Gates to allow the local farmers to water their crops for Christmas? MULHOLLAND That is positively out of the question. VAN NORMAN But sir, it's Christmas! MULHOLLAND Bah! Bullshit! VAN NORMAN Christmas a bullshit, sir? You don't mean that, I'm sure! MULHOLLAND Mr. Van Norman, you may be a resident of the Owens Valley, but for the time being, until I see fit to release you from your duties, you are an employee of the Los Angeles Department of Water and Power. As such, I expect you to do everything in your power to ensure that every drop of the Owens River is diverted to Los Angeles. I expect the St. Francis Dam to be filled to capacity in three months. Music begins to vamp. Once the reservoir is filled, I shall close this office to return to Los Angeles. You may then return to the riffraff with whom you choose to identify yourself. VAN NORMAN But sir, surely you don't want to take all of the water from the Owens Valley. 4 A MULHOLLAND CHRISTMAS CAROL – PRODUCTION SCRIPT SONG #2: MULHOLLAND'S THEME MULHOLLAND I COME FROM DUBLIN MOTHER DIED WHEN I WAS EIGHT LEFT HOME WHEN I WAS FOURTEEN JOINED THE NAVY, MOVING FREIGHT I ARRIVED IN L.A. AT THE AGE OF TWENTY-ONE JUST A TOWN OF NINE-THOUSAND SOULS 'NEATH THE CALIFORNIA SUN IN TEN YEARS I BECAME THE SUPER- INTENDENT OF THE L.A. CITY WATER COMPANY L.A.'S AN EMPIRE A HALF-A-MILLION STRONG WE'VE ABSORBED A DOZEN CITIES WE PLANNED IT ALL ALONG FROM THE HARBOR IN SAN PEDRO TO THE FARMS OF SHERMAN OAKS THEY DRINK WATER DIVERTED FROM THE OWENS VALLEY FOLKS I CHANGED THE COURSE OF A RIVER AND PROVIDED PUBLIC POWER FOR THE CITY'S INDUSTRIES IT'S POINTLESS TO RESIST HER THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO SHE'S CRUSHED A MILLION SPIRITS SHE'LL DESTROY YOURS TOO HER GROWTH IS UNRELENTING SHE'S A DYNASTY OF FOOLS USING EVERY DROP OF WATER FOR ORANGE GROVES AND SWIMMING POOLS SHE'LL BLEED THE VALLEY DRY EVERY CROP MUST DIE! (speaking) Bwah! Hah! Hah! Hah! VAN NORMAN You're mad! A MULHOLLAND CHRISTMAS CAROL – PRODUCTION SCRIPT 5 MULHOLLAND YOUR WAY OF LIFE IS ENDING YOU'D BEST JUST MOVE AWAY TO GLENDALE OR PASADENA IT'S LOVELY, SO THEY SAY JUST SELL ALL YOUR POSSESSIONS TO THE DWP YOU'D BETTER DO IT QUICKLY OR THEY'LL TAKE IT ALL FOR FREE THEN EVERYTHING YOU KNOW WILL BECOME L.A. WATER DEPARTMENT PROPERTY (speaking) Everything: