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CLEMSON'S NIGHT CADETS' BOOZE CLUB RAIDED ©get PLANT DESTROYED HE ROARS FOR CLEMSON

VOL. XXVI. Clemson College, S. C, Wednesday April 1, 1931 gAOS' HOLLYWOOD GOES WILD OVER CLEMSON MAN

Earl Leiderman Sanders is An- swer to DeMille's Prayer

Earl Leiderman Sanders, alias Lionel Strongfort, former all State tackle for the Clemson yellow peril, recently signed , a twelve month contract with Metro- I Goldwyn-Mayer. Earl comes as the answer to Cecil B. DeMille's two year search for the leading man in the"Bou- doir Burgler". Before this startling announcement which recently tumbled pearl like from

THE KAMI'rs':%I^?fi.p^liiifu nvs raided by Federal officers last night. KAMPUS B, P.'S FACE STIFF P. 0. ROBBERY SOLVED k DRILL COMPETITION BY LOCAL SLEOTH "Rock'! Calrioi^ ai^lL "Hand- On April I, 1931, the Junior Platoon, "Howitzer" Oberg Identified some" Daiiifei*.' jSotorious under the capable leadership of Colonel Undergo*** J ^Characters, Freddie L. Munson will enter a grand as Gang Leader; Daily In- competion drill with the Boy Scout come Averages 98 Cents troop of Keowee, S. C. For the past three years the crack The Kampu. sl/Sffwhich has been Captain Oberg, retired ex-com- platoon of Clemson has vied with enjoying a prospefcpyBeason, was raid- mandant of Clemson College, long the Keowee Scout troop for first place, ed last night deral authorities suspected as being the leader of a in the Oconee county eliminations. The I under the cap, i ction of Chief notorious ring of gangsters, has con- winning platoon will be sent to Colum- Allison. The night club operating in fessed to perpetrating the Clemson bia to compete against the Boy Scouts the old Calhoun Mansion, has been the College post office hold-up a few of the University of South Carolina. most popular Whoopee joint for miles weeks ago. He refused to name his It is said that the University's Scouts EARL LEIDERMAN SANDERS around for the past six months. accomplices who actually committed show excellent form in their every just as he stepped off the train in Hol- The entertainment of the evening was the crime, but his right-hand man, morning practice drills, which begin lywood to begin work on the produc- at its height when the raid took place. Chief Allison, who was captured af- promptly at ten o'clock. tion of his new picture. Mirth was soon forgotten and every- ter a spectacular foot race through Above is shown DR. CHEST EXPAN- The grand prize to be awarded in the horticulture grounds and aroun* one sobered up in record time when SION DANIEL who Wfis captured op- Columbia will consist of a Prince fildom's Pharoah, Louis B. Mayer, hotel hill, was somehow persuaded a realization of what was happening erating the new model distilling appara- Albert type uniform blouse for each Sanders has played in"Youth gone Crazy to disclose the two ordinarily dressed came over the group. Only two men atus shown in detail in the cut. member ol the winning platoon. Doc- " and"Cut The Cards". These pictures men who held up the post office of- were taken to jail and the rest were tor D. W. Daniel of Clemson College have failed to show up his real artistic ficials and robbed them of $2.32 in released on bond. The two men held will present the prizes and requests that ability, but great things are expected gold specie. The discolsure caused gave their names as Dr. D. W. Daniel, the inscription, "It's the brains that of him in his new role. It is hoped that a great deal of surprise and conster- LOCAL BOOTLEGGER against whom there is a charge of counts", be neatly embroidered on the Mayer will keep this gift from the gods nation among the corps of cadets and drunkeness, disorderly conduct and at- backs of the coats. out of the picture roles that he has the campus folk, for the robbers are tempting to escape when apprehended NABBED AT LAST A new method of individual compe- previously played and direct him to such .wo very popular young men of the by the officers, and Dr. F. H. H. Cal- titive drill is to be introduced at the heights as will make even Lewis Stone campus, Henry Rankin, who runs the houn, who was nabbed for operating a Chest Expansion Daniel Cap- finals in Columbia. Members of each wonder. local wood yard and who is an ex- speak-easy and a gambling house. Both tured While Operating Mo- platoon who are particularly adept in The New York operatic world has perienced wood chopper, and Andrew men stated that they were on the dern Distillery in Basement one form of drill will each execute previously been enthralled by Mr. Murphy, who is a clothes model for faculty of Clemson A. & M. College, that movement in which he is expert. Sanders presentation of the American a very exclusive clothing establish- of Y. M. C. A. but recognition of the two doctors was Regimental Sergeant Maj. O. H. ureen youth gone wild in a riotous rollick of ment. denied by the officials of that institution For quite a long time people have will demonstrate his famous interpre- jazz mad syncopation. They laughed To avoid being suspected as an ac- of learning. This is Calhoun's first wondered just where the booze at Clem- tation of "right face in marching", with him, wept with him, and sorrowed complice to the crime, Chief Allison appearance on the records of the court, son leaked in. The grave secret was while B. D. Cloaninger is to illustrate for him, as he swept them from the was heard to express the desire to but Daniel was found to have quite a opened to all this afternoon when Chief "port arms". Reuben Seigle, the best boisterous boop-poop-a-doop of Tin Pan carry around with him, the German notorious record. It is generally known Allison, the all time all American sleuth looking Jew in college, has been select- Alley to the glamorous emotional heights howitzer which was presented to Cap- that Daniel is a big cog in the liquor followed the suspect, none other than ed because of his military bearing to of pathos and pity. His stage friends tain Oberg by his distinguished ring of this city, and he is also facing Dr. Chest Expansion Daniel, to the show the correct method of giving the regret his disappearance from the stage, cousin, Wilhelm Hohenzollern, ex- a charge of operating one of the largest place of origination. For the past year "hand salute". There is keen com- but the movie world revels in this find kaiser of Germany as a monument to distilleries ever captured in the state. the great policeman has followed large petition between H. W. Fogle and J. which De Mille has uncovered. his ability and bravery in shooting Chief of Dectectives Allison is quite truckloads to the homes of Dr. Sikes, K. Wright, to see who can assume a Standing six feet-one, with black hair down forty-seven enemy planes in the enthused over the results of the raid, Colonel Munson, and many other noted prone position more quickly. and brown eyes, and maintaining that Franco-Prussian war. and is sure that he has enough evi- citizens, but always he lost the di- The entire corps awaits with well indefinable charm that has hitherto The loot, which contained the en- dence on his prisoners to insure them minutive Dr. Daniel before he could warranted misginvings, the success of characterized his appearances so far, tire pay roll of the college was ac- a long term in the Federal pen. Among make an arrest or find the still. How- the undertaking. Sanders truly appears to be the answer. cidentally uncovered while Captain those captured and released on bond, ever, this afternono he saw Steedy Already his fan photos are beginning Oberg was issuing ammunition to the posted by Dr. Calhoun, were: Col. as the Y. M. C. A. Orchestra. Roy- McDowell making strange signs to Dr. to add a touch of romance and classic firing squad which was executing Freddie Munson, Miss Marguerite Dog- Daniel and followed them to the base- Cooper, head waiter; Theo Vaughn, distinction to the rooms of his female fiae of its innumerable court-martial gett, Hostess, John Lane, Henry Ran- ment of the Y. M. C. A. where he L. O. Clayton, and G. A. Black, all admirers, who are found in great orders. kin, Dr. Rupert Taylor, Prep Bradley, waiters. It is expected that these will numbers, to include some of the nations discovered the still shown in the inset. The capture and arrests were mada P. B. Brearley, George Washington and ;;ct off with a light fine. most prominent society ladies, young The Doctor made a noble effort to by Magistrate "Monk" Godfrey and Percy Little. It is being noised about This raid will probably serve to grls in college, the shop girls, laundry get away but his long coat tails caught his assistant, Constable "Snub" Pol- that Dr. E. W. Sikes, who is a frequent lessen the great amount of vice that maids and on down to the little girls in a door and escape was impossible lard. visitor to the club, was conspiciously had pervaded the campus for quite in grammar school. He should there- with the Chief so close behind. absent, and it is assumed that he was a while, and according to Chief Allison, fore feel that he is doing great good in Something over a hundred gallons tipped off that the raid was to take all the prisoners will be prosecuted to providing a last resort when the poor NOTICE were poured out by the police assisted place. the full extent of the law. He proved girl has become disallusioned with the by professors Murphy and zur Burg, All employees of the Kampus Klub his sterling character by placing an ad- mail sex in general. who were bystanders at the time. were released on bond. Among these ditional charge against Daniel and Cal- Clemson is justly proud of the Z£6l 'IC Of course, the haul was one to be were P. B. Holtzendorff, bar-tender; houn when they attempted to briibe accomplishments of this former son and aoquisoaQ jo }ii§iu aiij uoi^ong proud of, but Chief Allison was not 3 Charlie Pace, director of the Kampus him after finding that escape from the is watching with eager eyes his climb !3 V janpuoo HIM. jureje aujL quite satisfied. He continued the Night Hawk orchestra formerly known night club was impossible. to the heights of stardom. (Continued on page eight) PAGE TWO THE TIGER WEDNESDAY APRIL 1, 1931

the next night. The article went on ture actors never get a thought, and somewhat selfish about their little to state that the cost of preparing the especially Robert Montgomery. All of personal ailments. gymnasium would be considerable, since this' is just another way of saying the over-joyed Carolinians completelj that the Converse lassies are bent upon Pill Newman married him a girl in wrecked it. Our heartiest congratu- keeping their confinement in spite of New York several weeks ago while on lations go to the Gamecocks for their the officials' desire to grant their free- i business trip up there. And it is amazing victory. dom. rumored that young Newman didn't 'HE ROARS FOR CLEMSON really intend getting married until that Founded by the Class of 1907 and published weekly, during the college Imagine my surprise while perusing course was suggested—rather forcibly— session, by the Corps of Cadets of Clemson College. The Parley Voo of Converse College at It seems that The Gamecock is by some one who seemed much con- finding an elegantly phrased composi- fairly swooning with news this week. cerned . Which shows that even in Entered as Second Class matter at the Post Office at Clemson College, tion directed to the college officials Now comes the startling news that the New Y'ork a "Chicago" wedding is South Carolina. concerning the removal of the confine- three upper classes at the University permissible. ment that has been in effect for over a have taken away from the freshmen week. The writer, in assuring the of- the privilege of wearing the so-called Tom Millford, while driving Uncle EDITORIAL STAFF ficials that she expressed the sentiment rat caps. At a mass meeting last week Joe's Austin the other day, ran over J. E. BAKER Editor-in-Chief of the entire student body, asked that the upperclassmen came to the conclu- one of Holtzy's unobservant hens. Of F. E. JOHNSTONE Associate Editor the confinement be continued. I shall sion that the freshmen were getting course the hen wasn't hurt or anything, H. C. WOODSON Managing Editor not quote the article at length, 'less it all of the breaks and that the three but a jealous rooster standing nearby E. R. KELLEY Athletic Editor stir you to tears, because the thought upper classes should wear the becoming misunderstood and chased Tom and W. H. TRAMMEL.-.- Associate Athletic Editor is touching. The main points in the little red and black caps (,which, by his road louse fifteen miles " above O. H. GREEN _ Exchange Editor plea against removing the confinement the way are never worn on the day that Seneca. W. F. GILLAND Campus Editor measure will be brought out at ran- Clemson is in Columbia for the State C. P. HOGARTH Y. M. C. A. Editor dom. It seems that the Converse lassies Fair game). They are of the opinion Surprising indeed to us who saw the B. D. CLOANINGER Joke Editor have found the period of confinement to that the wearing of the caps would man as a most ardent advocate of W. W. D1CKSON and T. M. WATSON Associate Joke Editors be an inspiration to study in disguise. be becoming to the dignity of all immaculacy, correct manners, and the J. A. WESTON Assignment Editor They have found that there is some- concerned. The freshmen are wrought person to whom all Clemson students thing to the compositions of Liszt, up about the decision cf their upper as well as other persons over the entire Staff Reporters Schubert, Beethoven, and Levine that class brothers. They realize that the nation go for correct information con- L. J. BARBARE, J. K. BISHOP, V. R. COGGINS, J. L. O. FOSTER, has been hidden from them when they loss of the rat caps would be a great cerning the rules of etiquette is the R. S. GILREATH, T.-H. HEWITT, W. P. HUNTER, W. L. JACOBS. were thinking of weekends at home, blow to them. It will be with re- fact that Dr. D. W. Daniel, one-time W. K. LAWLOR, R. H. LINDSAY, M. G. MILLER, C. P. WALKER', dances and parties. They no longer luctance that the rats give up their chautaugua lecturer and now nationally W. R. WILLIAMS dread or detest the simple (?) chemis- chedished possession. In order that known after-dinner speaker and humor- try formulas, English compositions, nor they might not be associated with their ist, has recently expressed himself as BUSINESS STAFF anything pertaining to books of know- cherished possession. In order that being a thorough believer in "dunking J. P. LITTLEJOHN Business Manager ledge. Motion picture magazines are they might not be associated with their as the correct and only way to eat A. D. HOWARD Associate Business Manager never given a thought. The young wayward brothers, the freshmen have I corn pone and pot likker". Since this announcement by the per- CIRCULATION STAFF Converse students no longer are able landed upon a' plan that has the backing to understand what they formerly saw of five-hundred Clemson freshmen as son who has brought Clemson College W. G. NEELY ., Circulation Manage in strolling down the wide expanses of to its ability to distinguish them from an untold amount of most favorable H. G. SETTLE Associate Circulation Manager East Main. The Beauty Shoppe, Aug. the upperclassmen. This plan is to publicity, Dame Rumor has it that the W. H. PADGETT -Assistant Circulation Manager W. Smith, Cabiniss-Gardner, and The adopt the policy whereby every rat has small laceration that was recently so F. L. PRICKETT Assistant Circulation Manager Smith Shoppe have ceased to hold any his hair clipped even with his cranium. evident in the left corner of his mouth fascination for them. And as for We sympathize with the freshmen over was due to the fact that his servant, dashing down North Church Street their loss of the rat-cap, but heartily perhaps through negligence, placed on EDITORIAL (there is a real pleasure in writing endorse their new plan. There won't the table a sharp knife, customarily about this old thoroughfare) to the be a chance for them to be taken as used during meat courses, during a APOLOGIES Montgomery—that's off. Motion pic- upperclassmen by the outsider. meal at which peas were served. SO MUCH has happened here on our usually peaceful The same elusive damsel also has campus during the past week that the minds of those whose it that the revered gentleman breakfasts duty is to spread to the public the happenings at Clemson daily on three saucers of coffee and IP two pieces of toast, the edges of which began to function as never before and pens began to fly. ^ OBSERVATION he "dunks" in his coffee between in- APPARENTLY, imagination played a large part in the AND halations. writing of these events, with the result that they may seem And be has the nerve to tell the to be quite out of reason. This may be explained by the COMMENT tale about the man who failed to get theory of our psychologists that at certain indeterminate in- a desired job because of the fact that he did not arrange his siiver properly tervals in the course of each individual's life, there comes a ADAMS (, CRAWFORD. at the close of a meal. THE NERVE desire, or more nearly, a strong tendency to revert to natural- OF SOME PEOPLE—and similar ex- ness. During this period the victim is not responsible for his pressions of disgust. actions, especially his thoughts, and under no condition can he refrain from speaking the truth, the whole truth, and yet At last our popularity is assured; Gosh, don't it slay you the way we THINGS WE WOULD LIKE TO nothing like the truth. ive have received the long-anticipated W. C. girls write formal letters. Hon- HAVE SEEN—Colonel Munson as he estly I didn't mean to be so personal, THE EDITOR, feeling it his duty to give the readers of invitation to a Winthrop tea party. And led the mob of Saint John's cadets who ire we gonna tee off— but you'll look over it, won't you? rubbed bread in the head of the vil- "The Tiger" their weekly morsel of delightful reading, as- Far be it from us to assume any . . Coming back to the taj>ic of tea lianous culprit who dared commit the sembled the articles into the usual newspaper with the result air of superiority or preeminence over again, be sure and let us know if it attrocity of tossing a morsel of that that even the sheets of paper were so shocked at the revela- the rest of our rustic classmates, but will be impossible for you to to come most essential part of the human diet tions that they turned various colors, red, blue, and green. after receiving the followng letter Friday. We're not expecting a nega- while in the dining salon of that much- "THE TIGER" will defend anyone from undue embar- from the Winthrop tea-leaf committee, tive answer though—in fact the en- mentioned military institution. tire affair would be a flop if you did- rassment arising from these columns. We have not entered in- it is only natural that we feel some- what flattered. n't come. Dr. Sikes in knee breeches and bare- to any statement here or used the name of anyone with the Below is the letter, without revision, Well, there goes light bell so Til footed walking on a rough path in ear- intent of slander or libel. As our friend Lamb once said: that we received. be forced to close for this time. ly spring. D. W. Daniel on the oc- Be good—and if you can't be care- "Good jests ought to bite like lambs, no wolves; dogs ought My dear Adams and Mr. Craivford, casion that he cried while making his ful, be good. to cut, not wound." We trust that we have lived up to Gee, I bet you're surprised to yet first Friday afternoon speech. A Win- Lamb's admonitions in this sheet. Our bits are merely the a letter from me. To be frank I don't Yours (? ? ? ? ?) throp College student body in the days P. S.—Bo you know John Fergu- know hardly how to begin. You see— of bustles and cotton hose—when the frolicsome nips of good-natured playfellows: our sallies may son? Ask him if he remembers me. The Johnsonian slaff is having its an- top of ladies shoes reached the lower cut frequently and beneficially and does not leave a scar. I met him at a Y. M. C. A. convention nual afternoon^ tea next Friday and hem of the skirt, when women were at Sharon last fall. So we beg of you to emulate the good humor of Lamb and since I'm the exchange editor I was mysteries and an inagination was an appreciate, with us, the efficiency of satire. chose to write you if you would come. asset. Bill Lippincott with childhood Gosh—We'll be thrilled to death if you Col. Munson, hindered by his capable curls reaching to his shoulders. Dr. ao. These little tea affairs we have are staff ,has at last accidently concocted a Pollard in a 1914 model Ford—when tc its seldom occurrence and its sen- awful cute I think—and teriible in- general order (No. 549,261) that may women were pleasant company and sational value, appeared on the front formal too. Why we don't have to be worth something to somebody. The clogs were used for hunting game. The page, claiming the headlines, which have but one chaperon and she can • order reads as follows: ever immaculate Cadet Colonel New- were of the six inch square variety. see good. Poor creature!—She gets Paragraph 1. From this date hence man making mud pies after eating a 1 realize that the suspense is beginning invited to more teas than anybody. forth the college infirmary will be con- blackberry jam sandwich. to have its effect upon you, dear read- I was over to Clemson one time. sidered as "off limits" to any and all er, so I'll end it by telling- you the Four of us girls went over to attend 'cadet or cadets "Forewarned is fore armed", goeth contents of the afore-mentioned article. a \-H Club convention. I never will Paragraph II. Regardless of whether the old proverb. And I was warned The Gamecock basketball team, which forget how gorgeous everything was. lie is sick or not, no cadet will be al to state nothing but hard, cold facts set the state on fire with it remarkable The grass was so green and pretty and lowed to go to the hospital at any for those serious minded individuals inability to win a game, has at last everybody was so sweet to us. Mr. time hoivever reasonable Iiis lie or ex- who (for want of some-thing better to broke the spell.' Before the largest Munson took me to ride one night ana cuse may sound. do| read this column. So with this crowd of the season the Gamecocks said the nicest things. I guess you Paragraph III. Same as Paragraph warning in mind I went through the unleashed this fury on the youngsters know him—/ think he's a lieutenant or I. stack of collegiate papers of the past from Podunk High School, and emerg- something over there. Tell him hello Paragraph IV. Of course, IH case week that have come to my desk, and ed the victor by the score of n to io for me when you see him—and tell of inclement 'weather the above order selected the following morsels of food after two extra periods had been him to write to me. I haven't heard will be temporarily rescinded. for thought. played. It is dougtful if the collegians from him in ages. I met another army Paragraph V. Sick Call formation would have emerged with the victory officer over there too—Pill Newman. will be held assusual, the cadet officer had the Podunk boys, who are to cen- Do you know him? I thought he of the day seeing that all cadets who From the University of South Caro- ter the finals in the Class "D" state was awful cute and would of liked meet same are assessed ten demerits. lina Gamecock comes an article that league, been able to put their first him much better if he hadn't been The value of this order lies in the fairly takes my breath, so unbelievable stringers against the Gamecocks. Coach so conceited. I guess you can't hardly fact that it will enable cadets to have is it. I would quote it here, but I dare Whatshisnameof Podunk thought it to blame him for that tho. cause he's aw- "minnie" in the seclusion of their uwn not refer to it again, 'less I lose be of paramount importance that he ful young-looking to be a officer. I 100ms. without being subjected to the my nonchalance and declare the entire save the first team men for the cham- understand why you all call him "Pill" iinbarrassmcnt of nation-wide publicity. Group picture of those believing every- article a false report. The article, due pionship game which was to be played —he's so hard to take. It's only natural that people be modest erything in This Issue WEDNESDAY APRIL 1, 1931 THE TIGER PAGE THREE

Col. Freddie Munson spoke in favor company hall for the purpose of sum- MODERNISTIC TREND RATS GIVEN BREAK BIG BOYS LOOKING OUT of it, he said that the military de- moning Freshmen service. It is high, partment was put to a great incon- ly probable that this recommenda- IN NEW COURSES venience in giving ten demerits to every tion will be made a general order by BY UPPERGLASSMEN FOR CLEMSON CORPS cadet when ever he cut a class. The the Commandant. In Order to Fit Cadets for Fu- amount of clerical labor involved was Old barracks will be enlarged at Vote is Unanimous to Honor Enoch Believes Final Exams tremendous. So it was decided that the end near the bulletin board to ture Fits and Spasms Too Hard on Students Freshmen by Allowing Them the number of cuts each student would allow space for a lounging room, Yesterday, after a long and stormy to Continue in Present Sta- be allowed for any course would be which will be furnished with easy- The cadets will soon be able to session in the president's office, the tus limited to the number of times that chairs and divans containing built- enjoy several new and modern courses Board of Trustees and Dr. Sikes came the class meets during the semester. in steam radiators. One of Captain to be added to the regular curriculum. to an important decision on two ques- The present freshamn class will Any student over cut will be assessed Oberg's splendid ideas is to con- These courses are largely responsible to tions : one concerning final examina- have the have the great misfortune ihree demerits and will be required to struct an underground runway lead- the efforts of Plough-Boy Sikes to tions and the other about class atten^ of being "rats" for two consecutive drop the course. It was also decided ing from the mess hall to the Y. M. make this the oustanding college of dance. Action was also taken on minor Anderson county. All of the courses years because of a bill passed toy the that attendence at all formations would C. A. It is his belief that this will South Carolina Lgislatur on March matters. be voluntary. greatly decrease the number of ac- are primarily intended to fit one better Final examinations are no longer for his future fits and spasms. 13, 1931. cidents occurring on Friday and Sat- This bill provides for the addition to be held at Clemson. The learned urday afternoons. Among the courses to be offered is doctor advanced several weighty rea- a study of the Aftenoon Tea. It is to the state high schools of another THE ARMY SEEKS TO A considerable decrease in college sons for the discontinuance, and his expenses wil lbe affected next year hoped that a suitable instructor may grade to take the place of the first oratory won the day. He held that by furnishing the cadets with new- be secured, and several W. C. graduates year. State colleges shall consist of these examinations are distracting, that PLEASE ALL CADETS type, super-service brooms and by have applied for this position. It is three classes, freshman, . junior and they interferred with the preparations supplying all upperclassmen with expected to have an unusually large senior, and the present freshman for leaving, and that they took the stu- AH Modern Conveniences to paddles. The Chemistry Department enrollment in this course since the Tea class will toe next year's freshman dents attention from the importance of as a result of its embarrassment in is assuming importance at some in- class too. This new bill will enable Be Installed in Barracks many boys and girls to come to col- enjoying the final festivities. His other the recent post office robbery, has stitutions. lege or to get some of the benefits reason was that a geat deal of ink, devised a means of protecting safes Big Freddie Calhoun is to head the The fact that Captain Otoerg is of college who would otherwies have paper, and time was wasted in the which utilizes a new poison gas, dis- Riding School and he is especially planning to supervise the installation to end their education with the com- writing of these scholarly documents, covered by Dr. Pollard. Special gas suited for this post as he had ridden of a number of improvements in bar- pletion of the fourth high school and that even more of the professors masks are to he worn by P. O. em- before some of Chicago's most distin- racks and points nearby will be of year. time was wasted in reading them. He ployees at all times. guished mounts. The school will ad- considerable interest to those cadets At Clemson the present sophomore also said that in his opinion the profes- Plenty of entertainment will be vocate the use of ponies in the course. who still have a few years at Clem- and junior classes voted unanimous- sors did not read them anyway, be- furnished at the new night club, and Dr. Wade Hampton Mills, commonly son. These improvements will un- ly to let this year's freshmen serve cause they had already decided which a number of outstanding orchestras known as Doc, has stated that he is doubtedly be of great aid in making as "rats" next year, performing the student should pass and which should life in the future somewhat endura- have contracted to give dinner con- offering his course in the Art and various and sundry duties usually not. certs in the mess hall each evening. Science of Perfected Petting to only ble for the cadets. assigned to "newboys". There were The topic of class attendence held a few men. Doc says that he longs Kitchenettes are to be installed in some who opposed the measure when the floor for considerable time. It to revive this long-lost art as the the rooms of all senior privates, and Bill Cambell—Let's go to Pendleton it was voted on, but they were won would have failed to carry had not due to the prevalence of sore throat to night. modern youth has allowed it to fall over toy the brilliant speeches in fa- in neglect. He has selected his models among the upper classmen, Dr. Mil- Skinny Long—No!I had rather stay vor of it by Bob Miller, Edgar (Red) orators as "Rat" Thomas, "Rat" ford has recommended that a system here and die of meningitis than to go with the unfailing taste of an ex- Moore, and even by several outstand- Howell, and "Rat" "Eggie" Reeves. of electric 'bells toe set up on each to Pendleton and get shot. perienced man. ing members of the freshman class. Other courses which have been Among the latter were such brilliant arranged for are shown by the ten- -K* tative description of them which is published: f Applied Somnambulism: a course T designed to take the S out of snore T and enable the student to sleep without disturbing the professor. Monk God- T frey will conduct this course and see T that no one snores at odd moments. f Minature Lunching is especially re- T commended for those fastidious form T formers of small waists and smaller appetites. Minnie Goodale has an- nounced that he has places for only a few more men in this course since he t has already taken in Charlie Moss, T Messhall Neely, Sinclair and others. T A course in What the Well-dressed T Man Should Wear is being given by T Prof. Teare (tear like in cry) who Cr ^ rrom T is widely known as Clemson's best Y dressed man. alifornia T Donnie Daniel is sponsoring a course T in Collegiate Humor, and he announced COL. F. L. MUNSON that the text book to be used is none to New Haven J DR. E. W. SIKES other than the Smokehouse Annual. T Donnie is an avowed follower of all o . . the FAVORITE T humor. t Swiss Yodelling is to be taught by pipe tobacco of T CLEMSON'S TWO Doc Feeley who is a composer of some T note. Doc is nationally known for his, college men is — T "Just a Little Flat Ditty.' T The Terpsichorean School will be WHEREVER college men conducted by Captain O'Burg who has pause to load their pipes T Most Popular Sheiks f delighted the Corps on several occasions you'll see the familiar blue tin of T ♦♦♦ ♦ with an exhibition of tap dancing. Edgeworth! The Cap'n will have as his able as- At California, at Yale, at Williams f USE AID ENDORSE 1 sistants: Major Martin, in charge of and Cornell ... in America's lead- 1 aesthetic dancing, Que Ball Munson, in T ing colleges and universities you T | charge of the Black-Bottom, and Foggy will find Edgeworth the favorite T Reed, Rose-bud Rosenkrans, and Lilly smoking tobacco of the college man. UPPINCOTT'S PATE POLISH Rice as dancing assistants. College men everywhere respond T Little Flood Andrews, the man who to the appeal of pipes—packed with T f does everything in a large way, will cool, slow-burning Edgeworth. Be Y YOU NEED NO LONOER FEEL THE DISGRACE OF A Y conduct a Seminar in Drinkology. He guided by their choice. Try Edge- f Y slates that he came by his name honest- worth yourself. Taste its rich nat- T TOP THAT DOESN'T SHINE t ly, and that if any student will show ural savor that is enhanced im- Y Y his capacity to fill the instructor's shoes measurably by Edgeworth's dis- Y Y in this course, they shall be given free tinctive eleventh process. Y run of the laboratory supplies (supplied You will find Edgeworth at your Y by the Sandy Spring Laboratory Co.). nearest tobacco shop—15^ the tin., Y Y The instructors will be: Foots Hunter, Or, for generous free sample, ad- f Y College Murphy, and Hank Rankin. dress Larus & Bro. Co., 105 S. 22d Y Y St., Richmond, Va. Y Y Y t V.Fleming—What does B.S. stand EDGEWORTI Y for ? F. Hook—Well at Clemson it SMOKING TOBACCO Y T stands for Bachelor of Science, but Y Y at Pendleton it stands for Buck shot. Edgeworth is a blend Y Y And believe me those guys on horse- of fine old burleys, Y Y back surely can place their shots too. with its natural savor enhanced by Edge- Y Y worth's distinctive Y Cadet—Why did you take your eleventh process. :n HIGJIGBA9E Y Buy Edgeworth any- RfADYRUBBED children out of school? where in two forms Y Scotchman—I took them out — " Ready-Rubbed " Y X and" Plug Slice." All DR. D. W. DANIEL Y because they had to pay attention . sizes, 15«f pocket Master Salesman package to pound t Y humidor tin. T The times are so hard at Clemson j Y Y until the figures on the tower have ♦;♦ wasted away. h* PAGE FOUR THE TIGER WEDNESDAY APRIL 1, 1931

that plumbing ad in the advertisement class last week. U—What did it say? U—Crane beauty in the open; Crane beauty in all hidden fittings.

Pathe News Section of fire escape on the girl's dormitory fell down—five fellows were hurt. • i

She—What are your views on kissing He-—I have none. Her hair always gets in my way.

Yivonne—What would you do if you had had five dates with a man and he had never attempted to kiss you? Paulette—I'd lie about it.

"Silly idea, that putting shoe polish The four wheel brake is a Sheik—Do you know the difference in collapsible tubes." wonderful invention. Now the auto- between a bathtub and a paarlor? "How so?" mobile can stop on top of the Sheba—No!. "They can't fool anyone that way; I pedestrian rather than run over him. Sheik—Gosh! Where do you enter- knew the difference the minute I put tain friends? the bally stuff on my beard." Lady—Billy Sunday is marvelous. He has already converted thousands Bill—What are you doing now ? "What an innocent girl she is." since he started preaching. Will—I arrange marriages. "Yes—it has taken her years to Gent—He isn't in it with Henry Bill—Oh I didn't know you were a acquire that innocence. Ford. He shakes the hell out of fight promoter. millions every day. Rat Newsome—Why did you cut Ralph—Have you heard of the latest DR. RUPERT TAYLOR just after the sleeve out of your over coat? automobile tragedy? Birch—I kissed her when she wasn't one of those "Similar experiences" lie Snout M.—So I oould put it on Jim—No, what is it? looking. Ralph—A man got out to crank his is constantly referring to. without taking my books out of my Bark—What did she""^o? Austin and ran up his sleeve and hand. Birch—She wouldn't look at me the tickled him to death. rest of the evening. In a town out West where the Have you ever heard of the absent- liquor question is no question at all, I could go on kissing you for ever. minded professor who attended his nails no one knew that the water had been Really, and to think it was only and cut his glass. Unusual opportunities for men who wish to enter shut off for a week until they had a yesterday father said you lacked appli- fire. cation. He—There's a young woman who the life insurance field makes little things count. Old line insurance with low cost guaranteed— Only Child—Daddy! Daddy, he She—What does she do? Husband—How am I going to sup- kissed me. He—Teaches arithmetic in a primary not estimated port our family? Fond Parent (appearing in robe de school. Wife—You've got me. nuit)—Well, what do you want to Husband—Yes that's ju&t the SOUTHEASTERN LIFE INSURANCE GO. do? Boss—You are asking for a raise.eh? Organized 1905 trouble. O. C.—Make him do it again. Employee—Yes sir. Boss—Well, give me two good C. O. MILFORD, President Maid—So you've decided to give Oh, Clemson is a town of crooks, reasons for it. Southeastern Building .-:- -:- Greenville, S. C your wife somthing to read that will We had a dear friend write us; Employee—Twins. Capital, Surplus and Reserves for protection of He said he was attacked by The make the home happier? policyholders over four million dollars. Disgruntled Husband—Yes, rail- awful men-in-gitis. Nit— When was electricity first road timetables and steamship mentioned in the Bible? D—Heard that new girl by the name Wit— When Noah saw the ark light folders. of Crane blushed plenty when they read on the mountain. Fatso Coward—I'm about to tople over with exhaustion from climbing these mountains. I hope you've got a good stretcher handy. Girl(At Anderson)—Have I? You will be carried away with it.

Rat. Howze—I have a standing date every Saturday night. Buss Cohn—How come, engaged? Rat Howze—No, working in a store.

No matter how you move it, writing paper remains stationary. ? The hand that darns the socks is usually the one that so«ks the hus- Which is the longer of these two band. <—> horizontal lines? If you know the Clinton—I know a good cigar when I see it. answer—try it on someone else. Wats—Yeh. Clinton—Yeh, if there is not too much mud on the band.

First Clerk—I took that pretty girl from the store home last night and stole a kiss. Second Clerk—What did she say? First Clerk—Will that be all? YOUR EYES MAY FOOL YOU Dr. Brown—Give me an example explaining the theory of like attract- ing like. iStude—P'op drank some wood BUT alcohol and it went to his head.

Bill—How's Beny doing in the hospital? Bud—Fairly well, but I don't YOUR TASTE tells the Truth! think he will be out as soon as we expected. Bill—'How did you find out, see the doctor? Bud—No! I saw his nurse.

"How do you like the clothes the girl's are wearing?" "Oh, they're not so much." MILDER., .AND Co—Gladys is about the closest BETTER TASTE person I know. Ed—What -makes you think so? Co—She's so stingy she won't use perfume on a windy day.

He—Blast those insects. They're the biggest bkmkety blank pests in the world. She—Henry, you forget I'm htre.

Some lips are made to kiss, a«d *ome © 1931, LIGGETT & MYERS TOBACCO CO. are made orer afterwards. WEDNESDAY APRIL 1, 1931 THE TIGER PAGE FIVE

are invited to attend. If you will leave dressed dog will wear throughout the RIVERSIDE HOLDS your laundry number at the Jew approaching Spring and Summer Sea- Shoppe, Captain O'Berg will call for son. When interviewed by a staff re- you in his new Austin. porter, he remarked that due to the EXCITING SERVICE rapidly arriving warmer weather, sky blue overcoats and galoshes are now Big Local Church Launches FACDLTY 6ENIDS HAS entirely passe. However in case of in- Membership Campaign for clement weather, pink or lavendar slick- New Members ers are always in good taste, provided /y&ms ' VARIETYJF HOBBIES of course that they are not extreme. The righteous members 'of that great Absent-minded professors seem to In favorable weather, a short sleeveless religious body, the Riverside Church, form a malady that prevails in all loose knit jacket made of mufti either in the shades of biege or old gold, de- Y CABINET HAS PARTY SOPHOMORE COUNCIL are at last to realize some long de- colleges — even Clemson. However, sired luxuries. The little green church many will be glad to learn that we pending of course upon the complexion of the individual canine, will be worn. The Y Cabinet enjoyed a delight- The Sophomore Council met March in the wood has an ever increasing have among us one who is not only ful and amusing midnight party he- congregation, and the seating capacity a very present-minded professor but A bronze lavalier hanging loosely about 17 in the home of Major Martin. the throat is recommended to set off ginning at one minute past twelve The Council has been holding a series which is sadly inadequate, must be also a musician of note. I refer to Monday morning. The first attrac- enlarged. none other than Professor W. L. lip- this charming ensemble. of discussions upon regulating the Professor Lippincott went on to say tion was a picture show. After the wearing apparel of men, and the Rev. 1. C. Waters has put a propo- pincott, known to a few sophomores show, the cabinet retired to the club sition before the college authorities as "Bill". All of us are well acquainted that the Canine bathing suits for the question of the evening was: "Which approaching season are extremely neat room, where drinks were served. shall we wear, night shirts or py- that will undoubtedly be complied with the familiar sight of "Bill" and but not one whit gaudy. He said that Arthur Black made an inspiring talk jamas?" After arguing pro and con, with. He advocates the installation of his dog "Bo" walking together on while some dogs preferred the more on the subject, "The Necessity of the night shirt was decided upon be- comfortable lounges for those who need Sunday afternoons, except a few fresh- brilliant colors, he personally recom- Whiskey in Our Colleges". He em- cause of its comfort and the ability rest and the serving of free drinks men who still wonder where he buys mended a new shade called "Henny" phasized the fact that the Clemson to get out of it in a hurry. One (alcoholic) and cigarettes during the such colorless ties and tiny, delicate Brown. This color he explained, was Y must assit the cadets in obtaining of the deciding factors in the vote service. On the suggestion of William oxfords. developed by a Russian chemist who good liquor. Black was unable to was the fact that the Major himself Leroy Lippincott, one of the most Besides being a connisseur on canine was inspired by an old Russian pro- finish his talk, however, on account was a stout advocate of the night active deacons, Dr. Waters asked that thoroughbreds, Professor Lippincott is verb to concoct this fashion-revolution- of his over-intoxicated condition. At shirt. So a campaign will imme- a paved walk be laid to the river bank. an accomplished piano and saxaphonc izing shade. the close of this talk, the boyg were diately be commenced to promote He believes that this improvement will player. He used to play the organ Incidentally, Professor Lippincott entertained by a band of dancing the wearing of this night apparel, materially increase the attendance, es- also, but he had to stop, his monkey stated that his dog Bo would be on chorus girls. The entire Cabinet and one more useless garment is dis- pecially on rainy mornings. Rev. Wa- died. sang a few (peppy songs, but before carded. ters' plans, when they materialize, will Bill and Bo are away at present display in the pasture back of the -the party broke up, "Sweet Adeline" surely result in the attendance of those attending a dog show in Peoria. Be- sheep barn most any afternoon should seemed to be the prevailing tune, who habitually spend their Sunday fore leaving the former confessed to any one desire an exhibition of the and each memiber appeared to have BY THE WAY mornings in the training room, Riggs having great hopes of bringing back latest Parisienne Modes. A gum-chewing girl a different idea as to the tune of it. Hall and in other much frequented a blue ribbon. Of course he meant Later the professor modestly con- And a cud-chewing cow The Cabinet dragged themselves buildings on the campus. that Bo would win it. sented to show us a few new cravats Are somewhat alike, back to barracks by twos and threes At a recent meeting of the board of We all wish Bill the best of luck which he had purchased from the Paris But different somehow. between four o'clock and daylight. deacons, Prof. W. W. Burton, chairman and hope that Bo won't lose his heart shops for his own personal wardrobe. What difference? of the board, advanced the complaint tn some nighty female. We are delighted to report that they Oh, yes, I see it now; that services are too long. He contend- all vary in shade from a tantalizing CABINET MEETING It's the thoughtful look ed that it is very annoying to a speaker yellow to a golden orange. It is en- On the face of the cow. to be interrupted by snores from a rirely safe to assume that one will With noses bleeding, shirts torn, SEASON'S STYLE HITS sleeping audience. Church is no place always be correct in following Profes- and trousers sans seats the usually "Maggie" McGee: (In New York for snorers, and those who cannot sleep sor Lippincott's advice on all matters quiet and sedate Y. Cabinet stag- City last summer while on one of without excessive noise are not wanted AREJNNOONCED concerning either dog apparel or per- gered out of its recent meeting at those famous "Y" tours)—Can you at the Riverside. sonal neckwear. the home of Mr. Holtzendorff, last tell me where I can find a buss sta- Light Shades to Predominate As a means of creating greater in- evening. The meeting had been tion? the Wardrobe ofthe Well- called to discuss the advisability of Cop—What's the matter, are you terest in church services the church is You have heard about the world's Dressed Dog a joint conference at Blue Ridge lost? giving a picnic in the Lost Hope ceme- first swimmer, haven't you? He was Professor Lippincott, local style ex- between the Winthrop and Clemson McGee—No, I'm here. The bus tery. The picnickers will be entertained a Scotchman who came to a toll pert in dog ensembles has just returned Cabinets. station is lost. by those cute little songsters, Reuben bridge. from an extended tour abroad. While At a lag in the discussion Holtzy Siegel and Billy Neely, who will sing in Paris, he gathered extensive data Floorwalker(At one a.m. to passed around the old family demi- Two little boys came into the dent- "Sonny Boy", accompanied by Footsie from the most elite shops and fashion- burglar in his home)—Silverware? john containing a rare beverage con- tist's office. One said to the dentist, Davies and the victrola. able tailors concerning what the well Yes,sir. Step this way. cocted in the vincinity of Sandy "I want a tooth took out and I don't All ladies and gentlemen and cadets Springs, and electrified the meeting want no gas 'cause I'm in a hurry. by announcing that he was going to Dentist—That's a brave boy. install a bar in the basement of the Which tooth is it? Y. The effect was instantenou's. As Little Boy—Show him your tooth, T if by magic the meeting, which a buddie. j]r^f| X moment before had been discussing Tt a calm and sober subject, took on Leon Clayton promised to give his X the resemblance of a Scotch crowd girl a rose for every year on her T when the collection plate is passed birthday. He ordered only twenty T t and the meeting broke up without roses. He had been a good customer, T 100 Sheet Iron Clad any decision having been reached. so the florist aded fifteen for luck. Y ODDITIES Y Arthur Black, president of the t THE SENIOR COUNCIL "Y" made a great "scenf'-sation at Y Coker College during the Student Notebook Filler 10c The Senior Y Council held a reg- Volunteer Conference, when he put ular meeting Tuesday evening, March trombone oil on his hair under the X 17. The meeting was opened with impression it was hair tonic. Y T jokes and wise-cracks. Then a com- Y mittee was appointed to train "rats" All cadets rooming at the "Y" Y in the art of beating fcheir way have petitioned for bridge tables, Y through college. After this the and insist that the secretaries coach members assembled about tables and and keep them supplied with bridge t engaged in a somewhat riotous poker cards. Y game. The money seemed, however, Y to gradually drift into the hands of Hugh McLaurin seemed somewhat T a few lucky ones. This caused the perplexed when he entered the "Y" Y t game to come to a rather abrupt end. office and found the twentieth and Ansco Box Cameras Such art for use of rough language last telephone call used and he had never Ibefore been dis;pia(yted. couldn't get his number. f Y New words seemed to be invented Y Y on all sides and the "cussing" was Saturday evening, during the so- t superfluous. Finally the scrap came cial for all councils, at the "Y" Wal- Y f to an end when everyone was ex- lace Fridy broke all records as he Y No. 2 Special $1.00 Y hausted, but not before a new goal dashed to the five gallon ice cream container the fifth time, but was sur- t X had been reached for the height of Y roughness and disorder. passed by Mack Thames and found ■^^^^^♦♦^♦^♦♦^♦♦^►♦^♦♦^♦♦♦♦♦♦^•^♦v ^♦♦♦^♦^►^►^►^►^♦♦JMJMJ*^^- the container empty upon1 his arrival. Y Y Y T JUNIOR COUNCIL Will the corps support regular mo- Y T tion pictures on Sunday if the Board X T The sewing circle of Clemson, alias passes this appeal? T the Junior Council, held its regular Y X. (2. dltaroUn meeting March 17. Every one was Will meet you at the 'Y" ????? Y t present with his sewing, because this T was the most important meeting of PICTURE SCHEDULE Y the year. The speaker of the even- Best pictures will be shown during X m ing was Captain Oberg, of whom Spring Holidays. Bring your friends. Y © onwempanu I every one has heard. He gave an ex- zu (2 Be sure to get someone to reserve Y ; ef ceedingly interesting and beneficUV a seat for you. 9 lecture on the care and feeding of X P. S. McCOLLUM, Manager ibabies. A prize was offered for the Y f Young wife—I must apologize dear, Y best piece of work made during the Explanation and Permit Blanks Free for the Asking evening, and a pair of red knitted for the cake I made. I think I left out X sleeping socks, made as a present for something. Y Y Prof. Sherrill, won it. Every one en- Husband—Nothing you left out X i joyed the evening immensely and could make a cake taste like this. It,s went away much enlightened. something you put in. ♦>♦ »»»»»»»+»++»»»»0^*»+»+»»fr»$4*»»»»»»+» PAGE SIX THE TIGER WEDNESDAY APRIL 1, 19 31

and quarantines and that he felt it Peggy contends that Pick is a queer BRIDGE BALCONIES beneath his dignity to retain com- iad, that he carries a load of com- mand of such men". He also said plexes, psychoses and phobias where that the Tigers bothered him too ever he goes, that he takes them out of BUILT BYJHURCHES much by their frantic demands for his pockets at meals and allows them "more and better reveille". In part- to run wild at dances. He even sleeps Superb Architecture is Dis- ing the Colonel said, "these boys are with them. Peggy says that it is a played in These Improve- abnormal. Never in my life have I repressed desire with her. Pickle-Brains ments seen less permits presented for ap- says that he was waiting for a street aproval, and the lack of this and car. other pleasures has made my life too Stone-Mountain Sherrill hotly denies Rest, ease and relaxation will be the monotonous". these charges against his client and keynotes in the latest editions of Clem- Along with the discontent among cohort. He contends that at the time son churches. Architecture by Chic the Corps as a whole, great dissatis- the defendant is alleged to have been Sales, fittings, settings and appoint- faction reigns among certain cadets doing a Don Juan, he was really pilot- ments by The Amalgamated Order of noticeahly "Vic" Fleming, Johnnie ing a high-powered model T in a six Household Destroyers, and cooling by Justus, and "ISkinny" Long, who fear day bicycle race, and although the pro- Frigidaire, heating by the local wind- that with the departure of Colonel fessor is a clever man he is no bags, and taxi service by Clinkscales, Munson, the military will cease to Houdini. He continues that although such reads the plan adopted by the exist. These Cadets claim that life Pick may have a brain in a bottle, that board of Clemson Sky Pilots. With at Clemson will be insufferable with, is no sign he is a skeleton in some every ounce of available energy this out this particular department, and ones closet. committee is working swiftly toward they also say that the influx of new Pickle-Brains says that it is a case stenographers is ruining the Bengal the completion of lounging rooms in of mistaken identity, that he had a with the welfare of the inmates and the galleries of all local churches. Here- spirit. bad case of ynophobia, and that little in this line he is somewhat of a genius. The applicants for the vacant post after we will only have to hesitate long heart throbs like Peg don't do guys like He has a mind for devising special were numerous. "Clint" Taylor enough to board one of Mr. Otis' means him no good, liotsie Totsies like this ways and means to keep everyone happy of pedestial exterminating locomotion was one of these applicants, but his exchorsimer are easy on the retina, and well and still keep them confined. weak voice disqualified him. Prof. and be shot swiftly to card rooms, but bad for the bankroll, and he ain't Since the offers given contain one made to order where Bridge, Ping Rankin was another applicant, as he no plutocrat. from a girls school is it a known fact Pong, Rook and Old Maid may be en- is possessed of vast military knowl- Those already selected to serve on that Doc will accept the post of chief joyed to their utmost during that hour edge, it seemed as if he would secure the jury are John Lane, dry crusader; warden at this institution. Success is on Sunday when our honor bids us hie FREDDIE TO LEAVE the position; but his lack of knowl- Bill Lippincot, stylist; Monk Godfrey, practically assured him in a position away to worship. edge of the Englih language proved billiard expert; Sergeant Naramore of this kind because he is somewhat of With this addition we should all feel an insurmountable ohstacle. Prof. DEAR OLEJLEMSON animal trainer; Captain Harcombe, feed a ladies' man. In a position like that grateful and drop into the derby on Zuberg was also considered, hut he merchant; Chief Allison, sleuth; and any man should be the happiest person all Sundays hereafter at least two but- was thrown out of the race by sick- Many Mourn His Resignation; other inhabitants of the locality. on earth and Doc should enjoy the tons instead of the customary one. ness. Sergeant Naramoor was an- Black is Order of the Day This case is attracting nation wide change if anyone could because he has (The more egoistical may continue the other candidate, but upon learning attention as it is little Peggy's first been in contact, mostly, with big he-men practice of purloining washers from that "Rabbit" Martin was in the race appearance in the halls of justice. for some time. the machine shop—the rattle of which The Corps was thrown into a state he resigned in favor of his superior At the girls' school Doc will have a denotes his benevolence) of tremendous turmoil :by the an- pponent. staff of men chosen by him to assist No longer need it be said that we nouncement of Colonel 'Munson that in the routine of his work. It is under- he is about to leave the college to PILL MILFORD HAS have "bats in the belfry". The sermons stood that approximately eleven hun- accept a position as scoutmaster. made for broadcast purposes only dred applications have been received The colonel is to assume command PICKLE BRAINS FACES (goodness knows what other value MAN YJEW OFFERS from the Clemson Cadet corps alone. of St. John's Troop, Central, S. C. they have) will be brought to these This number holds the name of every This troop, composed of boys solely frolicking young men by electrical SERIOUS CHARGES Girls' Reformatory Gives Most senior who finishes this year and sure- from the gigantic metropolis, is one transcription, a factor which will great- Attractive Proposition ly Doc will select some of his assistants of the most alert, most military. To Be Defended by Our Ov/n ly improve our bridge game b\ de- from his many friends here. An ap- and best drilled troops in the United manding a higher degree of concen- Illustrious "Marble Top" Due to the wonderful experience that pointment to the position of assistant States. As Colonel -Munson has had tration, and also the strength to keep Dr. Milford obtained at Clemson during to Dr. Milford, M. D., would certainly varied preparatory experience in the awake. On April i, Pickle-Brains Brearley, the quarantine he has been offered two be received by a Clemson man as Regulars, the R. O. T. C, the C. M. As one enters these rooms after eminent economist, sociologist, psycho- very responsible positions in which a great honor and there is some dirty T. C, and other juvenile units, it is eleven A. M. each Sunday, the first logist and dope fiend goes to court. prisoners are kept shut in from the work afoot by some men to obtain this probable that he will-'be able to make sound to greet him will be a boisterous Palpitating Peggy has charged him with world. The first offer comes from the position. "a go" of his new venture. The new "Hello fellows"; issuing from the gen- breach of promise, insanity and adrena- high Singers of Sing-Sing, that well It is hoped by all concerned that scoutmaster has heen able to qualify ial expanse of our own Holtzy; next lin. Fie will be represented by Marble- known prison home for Al Capone's T)oc will accept one or the other of will be the gay and vivacious greeting for several of the most difficult scout Top Sherrill, noted lawyer, whose ab- buddies. The next offer, and the one badges, and he is now in a position to these positions and if he does he by Theo, and lastly Cooper will come sence has been noted in several states, that looks the best to Dr. Milford, is take over his new duties. leaves with the best wishes of the forward and place in your hand a where he is wanted for wearing red one from a girls reformatory school It is rumored that the boys of C. corps for a great future in his new written note of salutation and wel- flannels, using a moustache cup and in the upper part of the state. A. C. were becoming too dull and un- undertaking. come. It has been arranged also that flaying a zwither. This Shyster Sher- The experience that Dr. Milford has interesting to suit our Colonel who the ministers will rotate as presiding rill, tax-dodger and would-be author, gone through here at Clemson and the is well known for his pep and vevac- Alice—When I accepted Jack he said officers. This is absolutely necessary is said to be an authority of inter- wonderful way that he has stood up ity. The boys of Central will give he felt as if he were in the seven inasmuch as at all times there must be national law; D. W. Daniel, doctor of to them show his ability to fill a post the Colonel plenty to do as they are heaven. a freedom of speech and action that veterinary science, is reputed to be like the one offered above. His duties planning several trips to the far-away Mary-—I can well believe it. He has comes only from the assurance 'that the responsible for this libelous statement. at either place will be concerned chiefly been engaged six times before. cards you are playing with are not mountains of the Blue Ridge which, marked, and that the banker will not are known to be the lurking place abscond. of numeorus ferocious wild beasts. Next the interior of these lounges The new scoutmaster's experience will tantalize the eye. Turkish rugs, will be an asset to him on this ex- Italian Masters, Tapestries such as our pedition. own Dr. Mullet (pardon the name is The colonel is said to have re- Mullin) could resurrect from the Sal- marked that the boys of Clemson vation Army during his last trek ovei were spoiled by "tea parties, dances, Europe, Asia, Yurup, and Stirrup, and chandeliers that never graced other than in every nook and cranny, the ma- Kresses, add beauty and charm to the jority with dust thereon. whole air. Occasional furniture adds It behooves each and every cadet to that mellow homelike glow, (very much take advantage of these wonderful like a charred keg), and cigarettes will lounge rooms. In spite of the fact that be found where you hid them. All the Mr. Dillard protests the leather saved latest Farm Journals, Whiz Bangs, in walking to and from the river wih Congressional. Records, and Pathfinders ruin him, Mr. Bleckley' prophecies that will be in evidence should the cadet be he and Mr. Rowland will prosper by the Tonight, sleep like a top! offered and seek the transcendentalizing wear and tear on a certain portion of satisfaction of absorbing Captain Billy's the uniform, and in doing so make Carlylian humor or imbibing the subtle business better on a whole, because to BEFORE you go to bed, stop at the campus restaurant humor of Tom Heflin's irrational rant- satarize a certin firm's slogan "save the and eat a bowl of Kellogg's Rice Krispies. Listen to ing. seat and you save all"—and trousers those crunchy-crisp rice bubbles actually crackle out But wait—so luxurious is the inte- at eleven bucks, and reseating costing rior that we almost failed to notice at two dollars, this movement will make loud. They are a real treat. HICE first glance the masterly design of Mr. the Veteran's Bonus a mere drop in the And Kellogg's Rice Krispies are so easy to digest. KRISPIES Sales who is a "Specialist" in this line. tide. So indeed is this a masterly They invite restful sleep. In fact, dietitians advise a His untiring efforts have made a per- stroke, both socialy and economically. fect background for this weekly get- Take heart, faint cadet. No more crisp cereal before bedtime. How much better than together. Convenience and compactness will your honor cost you a miserable hot, heavy foods! dominate. Hidden are the cooling vents hour each week, and that with no credit. Rice Krispies are great for a quick lunch. Extra and covered, thank goodness, are the Rather will you come to anticipate these delicious served with fruits or sweetened with honey. meshes for admittance of hot air. In- quiet minutes of rest, comfort, and cidentally these rooms will be heated perhaps a brief sojourn into the arms only for one hour each week. The of Morpheus. A genuine old fashioned The mosl popular cereals served in the dining-rooms of American <0m& preacher finds that after heating the house warming will take place on April colleges, eating clubs and fraternities are made by Kellogg in chapel on two occasions and the church i, and as all cadets will probably not Battle Creek. They include ALL-BRAN, PEP Bran Flakes, Corn once, his calories are expended. The care to leave the campus, having de- RICE Flakes, Wheat Krumbles, and Kellogg's WHOLE WHEAT Biscuit. bell has been moved to make room for cided to hibernate in favor of Dr. Mil- Also Kaffee Hag Coffee — the coffee that lets you sleep. a neat but not gaudy elevated hobby- ford, and bemoaning the fact that their KRISPIES horse for the presiding elder. . The fees have been paid, the corps will no wails are done in baby blue and the doubt turn out en-mass—So here's to You'll enjoy Kellogg's Slumber Music, broadcast over WJZ and associated stations of the N.B.C. every Sunday floors are dedicated to the typical pro- longer and better church hours, pro- evening at 10.30 E. S. T. Also KFI Los Angeles, KOMO Seattle at 10.00, and KOA Denver at 10.30, fessor, solid oak. The butler's pantry vided we can exclude all feathered and serving room are combined and guests and enjoy to our hearts content many varigated lockers may be found our game of bridge in the balcony. WEDNESDAY APRIL 1, 1931 THE TIGER PAGE SEVEN

as being a news-article of fact-found- Major Martin—Our water bill is Prof. Kinard—Why is our lan- J. A. Long—Do you still run around ed veracity. Ask any man mentioned higher than usual. guage called the mother-tongue? with that little blonde? herein. Wife—Of course. Weren's there Whitlaw—Because the father so Charlie Taggart—She's married now. Gentle reader, those cadets who five Saturday nights in last month? seldom gets a chance to use It. J. A. Long—Answer my question. room on top floor of middle barracks are a company of mennie-minded men. McLaurin (To Fresh)—Take this ■59HllSlBlS«lSl|aill-§lglSEl!«iSlSgiSSi«.« »..!•.» KSEiSMSSSI? E::: SFKrHSWiHMB'SBlSgE&Q in order to declare an open war on broom and within ten minutes I mennie microbes, a very select body expect my room to be the cleanest in of men was chosen, and around this barracks. sturdy framework a militaristic ma- Fresh—Isn't that a rather sweep- chine was built, that functioned like ing statement to make? a model breechloading rabbit cannon— because it backfired ONCE. Officers Cadet—Believe it or not, officer, of the volunteer unit known humbly I'm hunting for a parking place. NOT TOO LATE as the T. B. A., or Tooth Brush As- Officer—But you haven't got an sociation, are as follows: Joe Turner, automobile? Captain; Smyth, L. P., 1st. Lieutenant; Cadet—Oh, yes I have. It's in TO GRAB A FEW ARTICLES OF CLOTHING Wilson, H. B., 2nd Lieutenant; and the parking place that I'm IooKing Wait, i st Sergeant—and various for. and assorted other privates and non- BEFORE YOU LEAVE ,oms, among whom the redoubtable The riveters make so much noise Wink Wallenburg shone as corpora!, 1 can't hear my wife across the table. TAKE YOUR GIRL A CLEMSON BELT T. B. iSay, do you suppose I could get CUAS". £. MULLIfJ It so happened that, at 9.30 o'clock an appartment in your building? 1 Wish you a Happy Hoilday Sunday nite this fine, health-minded band of youngsters assembled in the (Wife, at phone—How would you HUMAKE SOCIETY TO bath-room. Drummer Martin and Bu- like to talk to my mother? gler Voigt sounded "fall in", corporals Husband—Through a spirit med- reported (as all good corporals should) PROSECUTE MOON and Captain Turner, T B., ordered his minions to "fall out and clean teeth Bill Bowen—Did I tell you my ole Charges Brought Against Car- properly". Then for the five-minute lady, George Chavous, had his nose toonist by Maggie McGee period they scrubbed, and brushed again buried in a book? Dr. "Moon" Mullin, erstwhile dis- scrubbed, and brushed again, sparing D. Harrell—Gosh, it must have tributor of unbuyable color cards, been some book. Hoke Sloan Then, at the summons of Top-ser- perpetrator of the English language, geant Wait, T. B., the organization and local cartoonist fo rthe colored again fell in, and "Open ranks" was Patient—And you say that jusi weekly faces trial for cruelty to given by Captain Turner, T.B. Ranks before you called here you had dumb animals (himself largely re- were duly opened, drest, and "fronted", a man at the office with a fractured sponsible) largely brought on when and then began the inspection. At arm? he forced his dorg " Buddy" to pose the approach of an inspecting officer, Young Doc—Yes, I seem to be get- iHii^iaiaaa^iKss^ an undue length of time for a special each man came up to "inspection tooth- ting the breaks at last. feature cartoon. This cartoon was brush", holding it in open palm and feeing especialy prepared for a revise! dutifully grinning "inspection teeth" as Mother—Take that ball out of edition of "my old pal Hall's adver- per the T. B. Manual. Herewith is cur mouth and tell me if you made tisement book." This book which is given the deliquincy report of that anything out of the conversation you now being used at Clenuon (for the eventful night: overheard between sister and her reason that no one else has been so DELINQUINCY REPORT beau. BOLTS foolish as to try to write one) — (plus HEADQUARTERS, TB ASSOCIA- Kid Brother—Yes, a quarter. the fact that the author is an espec- TION OF AMERICA 8 times as strong under super- ially good friend of our aforesaid Wolf, S., Rusty teeth, corroded filling My wife left me because I played 1 Dr.) has enough pictures and dia- Tindall, J. F., Dust on handle pin golf so much. heat as "bef ore the war' grams to please any man that is not Wallenburg, W. G., Dirty smile i3ay how much would a set of golf especially proficient in the English Hawkins, H. J., Filthy right molar clubs cost me? language. Trace the evolution of the bolt since 1913 Littlejohn, B. R., Brass on teeth not Charges were brought by "Mag- and you trace the amazing post war advance of polished Wife—I gave up a lots the day gie" because he was forced to hold Howie, W. M., Halitosis, third degree I married you. power and industrial processes . . . and the "Buddy" while the cartoon was being Lynam, E. H., Ignorance of tooth- Husband—Yes, I should nave made. In spite of the fact that all Crane contribution to help make it possible. known never to take a honeymoon evidence points towards Dr. Mullin, brush manual on the ocean. In carefree days "before the war," a steel he indignantly denies the accusation , Floyd, Charlie, Teeth not spaced pro- and has ibig-heartedly offered a re- perly bolt was a steel bolt. It was made of any ward of fifty dollars to any one who ! Miller, M. G., Bull juice stain on guidon Oh, heck. I left my watch up easily obtained steel that forged easily and will defend the case and assure him j Voigt, R. J., Beerific breath stairs. took threads well. Industry moved forward Dill, P. V., Gritting teeth at command- Never mind it will run down. an acquittal. It is whispered, though . . . stronger bolts were asked for. Ordinary not generally known, that the reward ing office No it won't—there's a winding has been collected and "Moon" is Green, F. L., Filthy "sight" staircase. steels were improved to tensile strength of again at large in the community. Morrison, A., Coming to inspection 45,000 pounds. Not enough. A bolt with Everyone is candidly advised to tie toothbrush improperly, pink tooth- She—I think the poorest people forged-on head and tensile strength of brush. up their dogs for the next week or Bo are the happiest. 50,000 pounds was developed. Still not as the cartoon has not yet been com- The inspection was concluded in a Dr. Sherrill—Then marry me and pleted and the fiend is likely to use military manner; and ranks having '.ve'll be the happiest people on enough. Cold rolled steel bolts with tensile any means to the desired end. One been closed, the whole organization earth. strength of 80,000 pounds were offered. lady of the campus has already re- joined lustily in the first verse of that They had a tendency to snap. ported her dog as missing but a habit—stirring old spirit song, Brush Policeman—I think we've found search of the doctor's room failed to Your Teeth. The second verse was your missing wife, sir. To fully meet the demands of modern high disclose any evidence of the theft. begun, but with bated fervorj for all Man—So? What does she say? pressure and temperature technology, Crane However, authorities are still waiting were conscious of hearing frantic foot- Policeman—Nothing, sir. Co. brought out for its cast and forged steel developments and "Moon" is being steps approaching. Ssmeone was run- Man—That's not my wife. shadowed at every turn. ning at bieakneck speed up the stairs, materials their Triplex steel stud bolts, of Everyone is waiting with pleasant down hall, and so on to the trysting- chrome nickel steel with tensile strength of Jones—That was rather bad about anticipation for the act that will give place of the splendid outfit. Spent Brother Smith. 125,000 pounds. The limit is not yet. Even the criminal away. In the mean- with running, and breath coming in y Carter—What was it? now, Crane Co. can supply bolts for valve while Dr. Mullin is diligently search- short gasps, Cadet Private J. W. New- Jones—He fell in a well and ing for the thief who made so bold man, T. B., burst into the room, to bonnets and flanges with tensile strength of was nearly drowned, and the only as to remove a pair of fingernail clip- the consternation of all present—for 140,000 pounds and retaining strength at sympathy he got was that he should pers from his office. He even went he is a model member, famed for good 0 be attending to the sick and leave well past 1000 F. so far as to say that he had the goods anid proper habits. But he grinned the well alone. on the man who committed the of- weakly, baring only a few teeth, and By exhaustive laboratory investigations, long fense, but don't let him kid you into turned to Corporal Blair Littiejohn, carefully charted creep tests, detailed study bringing them back fellows, because T.B., and haughtily said, "I came too of service conditions, Crane metallurgists late to get 'em inspected, eh? Well— its just a little more bull. of accuracy has been attained. We pre- have helped this development. With the see that they get picked". sent them to you: They were. Most conscientious Reuben Seigel same scientific methods they have as strik- NEV ANIZATION 1 close with the first verse of that Most modest Jim Cook ingly improved bodies, bonnets, discs and dear old song, "Brush Your Teeth": Most military Catfish Evans seats, stems, packing boxes ... so that Crane "Brush well, my lad Best physique Soph. Sinclair valves and fittings can be supplied for higher IS SO-LIVED The teeth that glad Most mentally alert Moose Fleming- Your messhall gormandizing feast; Most serious minded Ward Hough pressures and temperatures than have yet Tooth Brush Association of And thank your fate Best looking B 'Laboon Proctor been commercially projected. America Brought to Ab- That custom'd state Biggest woman hater Bo Bozeman rupt Close Gives you free picking at the least". Least conceited Captain Chapman Least politically inclined Bio Neely Hath it not truly been said thai he Most Co-edish Flinn Gilland who danceth payeth the fiddler? We Most energetic John Graves have not yet seen any of the Mun- NEW STATISTICS iCRAN E,£ Least military Pill Newman PIPING MATERIALS TO CONVEY AND CONTROL sonian bills, but we boar that instead Biggest Hell-raiser L. O. Clayton, LD STEAM, LIQUIDS, OIL. GAS. CHEMICALS of. our dear old shiny-domed musician's After diligent and painstaking re- Most linient Red Dyess CRANE CO., GENERAL OFFICES: 836 S. MICHIGAN AVE., CHICAGO charging, that those of us who danced search and psychological observation Biggest freshman N'at Watson NEW YORK OFFICES: 23 W. 44TH STREET have "collected". Wherefore art thou, the following statistics of the cadet corps, and particularly of the Senior Least b. s Whity Harvley Branches and Sales Offices in Tivo Hundred Cities paradox? Now, this is April Fool's flfcue of the Class have been compiled. We feel Most brilliant Yaller Smoak certain that an unprecedented degree Most sober-minded Rab Mansfield Ti ,, r ! r.| v

/*• PAGE EIGHT THE TIGER WEDNESDAY APRIL 1, 1931 SPORTS NEW POLICIES ADOPTED IN ATHLETICS SPORTS

one could not produce the great quan- tity of Whoopee Water that had caused him much trouble in the last few months. A close inspection, however, Your Parker DRIBLETS satisfied him that his search was at an end. Dr. Chest Expansion had made a mighty clever new invention that al- lowed him to do away with the "worm" Pocket Pen that is generally used in the conden- DOPE plus this handsome bronzed base sation, and to distill his product in 5HJPWgLCI(J([lLY half the time usually required. Thus ENOCH SIXES as he clears the it was readily understood how one bar to make old records shake. ingenous mind could satisfy the thirst Gives You a After ten full weeks of liquor garg- young prep and high school athletes of Clemson. ling, petting parties, and other nightly over the country. He has not restricted The cut of the distilling apparatus escapades of mirth, the South Carolina the use of the money in any way, in SIKES TO CAPTAIN FAST is shown in detail so as to show all the legislature, or better lawbreakers, fin- fact he will allow the athletic depart- new invention, and the other features ally sobered up enough of their mem- of the apparatus. kSet ment to dispense with it as they see fit. bers to make a quorum, and passed the Dr. Milford, director of athletics, FACULTYTRACKMEN A is the usual boiler. The mash is bill concerning athletics at Clemson. has already taken advantage of the gift, is a container in the upperpart. As for only $ The substance of the bill subjected and has recently returned from a trip Conference Schedule Promises the distillation begins the substance 050 is that Clemson is to receive the sum through the middle west where he re- to Be Hardest in Years passes through the pipe B. At the c f one hundred and fifty thousand cruited many prominent football stars For some time the corps has been point C there is an air jet where the clamouring for excitement and for cold air entering hastens the process. dollars, said sum to be used for the in that area who will report for prac- $750 . , establishment of club and lounging tice early in September. something out of the ordinary to At the spicket D a steady flow of Red or / with take place at Clemson. To break Devil lye is kept going. G is the pipe Parker Duofold rooms on the college campus for the Jr. Pen made of a special metal to withstand comfort and enjoyment of the men the monotony and satisfy the crav- Park your Parker Guaranteed for who have earned their block letters in ings of the industrious and studious the effect of the lye. F is the final con- in this humidor Life past years, and also for those who members of this aggregation that tainer and E represents Dr. Daniel's base—ever at has heen assembled at this school, foremost development. This contri- hand's reach—out may earn them in the future. PROFS FEUD RESULTS of harm's way Tiger athletes should be indeed the faculty has organized a track vance is the substitution of the "worm" grateful that the lawmakers have vastly team. This team is the first of its and is the key to a large production. improved their seemingly impossible in- IN JM AFFAIR kind ever to be organized and is H is the supporting stand. telligence. However, the bill was not quite a collection of the unique Dr. Daniel will be sent to Florence passed without severe antagonism on "Monk" and "Snub" Present things of this world. to the reformatory in the next few E'ach member of the team has days. McDowell will be let off with the part of several shaggy-bearded, Fast Teams in Effort to red-eyed opponents from the swampy been chosen because he is so well a lighter sentence because of aiding in Decide Issue sections of the lower state who stoutly suited for his respective position. the discovery. Murphy was fined for mantained that "the young skalawags Enoch Sikes is captain of the team trying to drink some of the liquor he ot to be tuck outa skule and set up in One day, while they were mean- because he must >oe the big gun in was entrusted to pour out. It is When in your room writing your some respecktibel bisnes." dering off across the campus togeth- all the happenings round these hoped that this startling discovery will permanent notes or themes, lest your Never, in years, has any bill brought er, Dr. Godfrey and Dr. Pollard be- I parts. Enoch is also the star hurd- rid the campus of the wet menace and Pen dry out when you stop to refer up before the House caused such bitter gan a very heated argument over ler and pole-vaulter for the simple keep the professors dry for awhile. to texts or notes, keep it in a Parker which was the more important, dissention, and for a while ft looked reason that he is so terribly small of Desk Base. like the famous assembly place would Physics or Chemistry- "Monk" stature that he can easily overcome No need to buy a complete Desk contended that physics was the most B.P. Dean—If a girl ever kissed me, be drenched with the blood of the the forces of gravity. D. W. Daniel Set or a special Pen. Your present essential while "iSnub" said that he I believe I'd die. convening inebriates, but the ever wary will be the distance man. This in- Parker Pocket Pen is already half a thought that chemistry was the ba- O.H. Green—Yes, I'd be ready then and sagacious sergeant-at-arms, "Chief" dividual is unusually long winded, Desk Set. sis of all living things. One thing myself. Allison, quickly quieted all of the and beyond the shadow of a doubt, Base with free taper, which con- led to another and these two wor- would be disturbers with his sinister will be able to stay in there with verts your Pocket Parker to Desk thies were about to come to blows Jim Cook—I'll love you until the looking "six shooters". the 'best of 'em. Freddy Munson is Set Model at only $2.50. Or if you when who should appear upon the stars grow dim. the best 440- and half-miler that do not own a Parker, this Desk Set scene hut Dr. Sikes. Not knowing She—I won't let you. I've got to get COLUMBIA UPSET ever set foot on a pile of scattered complete with $2.75 Parker Pocket- anything at all (about these two cinders. This gay young corporal some sleep. Desk Pen, only $5-25, or with Duo- During the past week, Columbia has subjects) he suggested that these of Uncle Sam's army can circle the fold Jr. Pocket-Desk Pen, Guaranteed been buzzing with excitement, and it two learned men organize a basket- track so fast that it makes him diz- Eve was the first business woman. {or Life, only $7.50. At all good has been rumored that "logrolling", ball team and decide this great ques- zy (perhaps he circled one some Didn't she start the loose-leaf system? dealers. lobbying", and "gerrymandering" tactics tion once and for all through the years ago and still remembers it). have been freely used. However, prac- Ipfhyisical abilities of their .under- The responsibility of making a few John Lane says that when a red-hot THE PARKER PEN COMPANY girl goes out with a Bachelor of Arts tically all of the more sedate represen- studies. odd points in the dash event falls Janesville, Wisconsin she becomes a degree warmer. tatives resented such accusations. The Weeks passed by. Each day the upon the manly shoulders of John Henry Rankin. He is able to cover subject caused such hot discussion field house was the scene of stren- She—Nat Watson proposed again these short distances in a very brief that many of the brass railing and uous practice in preparation for the last night. interval of time; his only handicap $ s mahogony bar places of business had coming clash. Finally the day Sheba—Well, are you going to marry it) 5 1*7 10 tc close up for several days. arrived and the entire student body, lies in the fact that he can't move him? his unusually large pedal extremi- to the man, turned out to witness She—Oh, No! That isn't what he ties with sufficient swiftness. John PROFS AID the bout. "Monk's" lineup was as proposed. rarker follows: Hendricks and Brown, Lane, noted woman-hater and disci- Wearers of the coveted "C" should ple of the Anti-Volstead Act society, guards; Reed and Mahoney, for- John Henry Rankin—I once loved be very much indebted to the gallant must heave the weights for this wards; Godfrey, center. "Snub's" a girl and she made a fool out of me. Duqfold efforts of Professors "Misery" Holmes, lineup consisted of the following: motley crew. He is a man of pow- Guts Shanklin, Lord Collings, and Stude—I can see she made a lasting Lippincott and Carodemas, guards; erful physique, not withstanding the Rock Calhoun who hitch hiked their impression. suBurg and Murphy, forwards; Huir fact that he is a hit off-center, and way to the capital city to plead the Desk Sets ter, center. Dr. Bikes agreed to ref- resembles, to a very slight extent, worthiness of such a cause. Each of Monk Godfrey—I've helped to solve PEN GUARANTEED FOR LIFE eree provided no one would try to some of the ancient Roman gods. the traffic problem. Other Parker Pens, S2.75 and $3.50 these members of the faculty made a bounce peanut hulls off his shining All the other members are striving Pencils to match all Pens, $2.50 to $5 personal appearance before the wearers H.S. Brown—Oh! How? and conspicuous dome. for permanent places on this crew of Monk— I've sold my car. of the senatorial toga, and stressed not speed maniacs. only the feasibility of such a plan, but The battle began and never, since Thinking that it would be very the absolute necessity of it. the fall of Rome, has the man in the appropriate, various persons were moon witnessed such a spectacle. A called upon to suggest a name for few minutes after the initial whistle LOCATION this distinguished (perhaps disgust- had blown, "Snub" asked (permis- ed is the right word) group. After SODA CIGARS Neither the location or the architec- sion to change Hunter from center ture of the building has been definitely much discussion, as well as cussing, to Carodemas' standing guard be- the name "Flying Fossils" was final- settled, but it is strongly believed that cause it was impossible for him, ly decided on becaues it seemed so it will occupy the site where the hotel Hunter, to get his feet off the floor. very appropriate. The question be- now stands since that ancient structure The ball went from one goal to an- fore them now is: can they live up is soon to be torn down in compliance other and then back. At the end of to the "Flying" part of their as- with the college building program. the first half, chemistry was leading sumed name. Ruddy Lee, college architect, has been by a few hare points. Both aggre- "Monk" Godfrey, who was chosen working diligently on the plans and gations came back and put all they manager because of the tenderness expresses the hope that he will be had into the fight for their worthy with which he can caress muscles, 5oe Sloan's through with them in a few days. sciences. Chemistry got the lead has ibeen trying to arrange a sched- in the last few minutes of play, and ule for his team. Here's hoping that NUNNALLY'S EASTER CANDY SUBSIDIZING by some unknown process, froze the they have a very successful season ball. Not to be overcome, physics but they had better be careful lest Although many colleges of the coun- by a certain method, generated some of their worthy opponents try Special Boxes try have been subsidizing their athletes enough energy to recover) it. When to "crib" 'em out of a few points. in one form or another for the past the final whistle blew, the score was several years, Clemson, until recently tied. IrOCAL OBOTLEGGEB has not been able to join their ranks, Another argument was about to NABBED AT LAST but the philanthropy of a loyal alumnus begin, when the referee, worthy fel- who does not care to have his name low, intervened by saying that it all (Continued from page 1) made known has at last made this went to show that (both were abso- possible. lutely necessary. The whole episode search after finding the large still in CANDY COLLEGE SUPPLIES This gentleman has set aside a fund came to a close when "Monk" said, the belief that there were several more of $50,000 for the hiring of promising "Doncha zee, we're both right". in the basement. He contended that

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