Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology Rose-Hulman Scholar

The Rose Thorn Archive Student Newspaper

Winter 1-9-2004

Volume 39 - Issue 12 - Friday, January 9, 2004

Rose Thorn Staff Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology, [email protected]

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Recommended Citation Rose Thorn Staff, "Volume 39 - Issue 12 - Friday, January 9, 2004" (2004). The Rose Thorn Archive. 262. https://scholar.rose-hulman.edu/rosethorn/262

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This Book is brought to you for free and open access by the Student Newspaper at Rose-Hulman Scholar. It has been accepted for inclusion in The Rose Thorn Archive by an authorized administrator of Rose-Hulman Scholar. For more information, please contact [email protected]. ROSE-HULMAN INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY TERRE HAUTE, INDIANA Friday, January 9, 2004 Volume 39, Issue 12

Campus News Briefs Emergency telephones repaired Laura Kraus Staff Writer Odessa Goedert Staff Writer Fine Art Series Presents When Junior CS Brandi Soggs tried to use the newly-installed Trio Indiana will perform tomorrow (the 10th) at 7:30 in Hat- emergency telephone in the SRC/ fi eld Hall. Trio Indiana is an internationally praised clarinet Triplets parking lot, she found the group. They are three music professors from the IU School system in a state of disrepair. of Music: James Campbell, Eli Eban, and Howard Klug. The Only two months after the concert will be free to all Rose students, faculty, and staff. installation of this emergency telephone pole, the system was non-functional; the strobe at the top of the pole signaled that assistance was needed, but no telephone connection to security was established. When Wayne Spary, Director of the Department of Facilities, was notifi ed of this serious equipment failure, he immediately arranged for the testing of all such systems campus-wide. Public Safety offi cers found that out of the six emergency telephone poles on Rose campus, Carmen DuVall / Rose Thorn only one was fully operational –the one located directly in front The emergency phone shown above is just one of several non-work- ing crisis contact points located on campus. of the Public Safety building. SGA and club funding According to Spary, Public all malfunctioning phones pole will fl ash and the telephone Safety and Facilities currently immediately following their will be automatically connected perform no routine maintenance SGA update - From the Dec. 16 meeting, SGA approved testing the week before Christmas to Public Safety. on the emergency telephone break. “Come hell or high water, During the summer of 2004, RoboCup’s club status. Funds were approved for Robotics systems and have relied on they’ll be done tomorrow,” said three new emergency poles will Team desktop computers, SCUBA club bills, an OVC 16 per- students to report malfunctions. Spary on Tuesday of that week. be erected on campus. Planned son Colorado Ski trip, and a RoboCup trip to New Orleans Gary Flora, Director of Public All phones were, indeed, fi xed by locations are the baseball, for competition. Safety, says that the phones have the end of the week. football, and intramural sports never been used in an emergency The telephones are intended to fi elds. situation, but that no one has be used in an emergency situation, Purchase and installation costs used them inappropriately either. and, when fully operational, the of each emergency telephone Drama Club presents “Proof” Repairs were underway on blue strobe light at the top of the system is approximately $5,000. Begins Thursday, Jan. 15. This award winning play is a fam- ily drama in which a troubled young woman deals with the Flu Season hits hard death of her brilliant mathematician father. Performances A fl u epidemic happens will be on Thursday (7:30), Friday (7:30), Saturday (7:30), Nicole Hartkemeyer when a virus spreads and Sunday (2:30). Tickets are free to Rose students. News Editor quickly through a speci- fi ed population, which Millions of people all over happens every year. A the world have already pandemic, on the other Professor trapped overseas! had to deal with the fl u hand, occurs when a virus this season, making it the spreads across the world. RHIT professor Dr. Calvin Lui is stuck in Hong Kong after a worst outbreak of infl u- The typical fl u season, holiday visit. He was going through the proper security to enza in several years. This from October to March, has many experts fearing return home, when he was asked about his work in engi- strikes as many as eight another fl u pandemic, million people every neering and technology. Lui responed that he taught Fluid which have killed up to 50 year. Outbreaks of the Mechanics and Thermodynamics, and this puts him on a million people worldwide fl u occur every year, but “Technology Alert List.” He is now inelliglable for re-entry in the past. this year they have come due to the export of sensitive goods, or in this case “technol- The fl u, also known as earlier than usual and infl uenza, is an infection the virus is believed to ogy.” Lui’s classes are being picked up by other faculty until of the throat, airways, his return. be a new strain which is and lungs, and can be largely resistant to the caused by a large variety vaccinations given to of viruses. fi ght the fl u season this While the fl u and cold year. Winter Formal 2004 symptoms are similar, With the globalization infl uenza is much more of transportation and If romance is in the air, it’s pretty cold out. Turn up the heat serious as it drastically communications today, and ask your sweetheart to the Winter Formal on Saturday, reduces the body’s abil- a worldwide pandemic Jan. 17, sponsored by SAB. Dinner is at 6 p.m. and is $5 (buy ity to fi ght off other could prove to be as deadly your tickets today, Monday, or Tuesday in the commons). infections. Most deaths as the worst fl u pandemic attributed to the fl u are Dancing in the Main Dining Hall at 7:30 is free. The theme in history, the infamous actually caused by com- Spanish fl u outbreak of this year is “fi esta,” and there are rumors of non-alcoholic plications like a severe 1918 and 1919. Carmen DuVall / Rose Thorn margaritas and wild piñata bashing. case of pneumonia or Cheryl Burgess administers fl u vaccines. bronchitis. Continued on page 3... Weather Entertainment Opinions Sports Flipside Friday AM Snow Showers 28 Hi / 11 Lo This is for you, Natalie Will you still need me? Get the latest run- B’jija = 10 ^ (Pi * 100) Saturday Portman! Will you still feed me? down on Rose sports. Mostly Sunny 26 Hi / 21 Lo Page 8 Pages 6 Page 7 Provided by www.weather.com The Rose Thorn Edited by Lissa Avery 2 EVVENTSENTS Friday, January 9, 2004

9 10 Campus 6:00 p.m. - 7:30 p.m. Women’s Basketball, at Rhodes College

8:00 p.m. - 9:30 p.m. Student Activity, Guitarist Jason Calendar LeVasser

11 12 13 14 15 16 17 10:00 a.m. - 12:00 a.m. 6:00 p.m. - 7:30 p.m. 6:00 p.m. - 7:30 p.m. Registration For 6:00 p.m. - 7:30 p.m. 7:30 p.m. - 9:30 p.m. 12:00 p.m. - 3:00 p.m. Student Activity, Ski Career Services Work- Career Services’ Re- Spring Quarter Career Services’ Re- Drama Club Play, Indoor Track Meet Trip shop, How to Work The sume Workshop sume Workshop “Proof” Internship/Co-op Fair 7:30 p.m. - 9:30 p.m. 7:30 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. Registration For Spring Registration For Registration For Drama Club Play, Fine Arts Series, Trio Registration For Spring Quarter Spring Quarter Spring Quarter “Proof” Indiana Quarter

18 19 20 21 22 23 24 2:00 p.m. - 4:00 p.m. 4:30 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. 4:30 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. 4:30 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. 4:30 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. 7:00 p.m. - 12:00 a.m. 10:00 a.m. - 12:00 a.m. Drama Club Play, Engineers in Concert Engineers in Concert Engineers in Concert Engineers in Concert Student Activity, Take Student Activities “Proof” tryouts tryouts tryouts tryouts Five Board’s Ski Trip

7:30 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. Fine Arts Series, Aebersol & Neiweem Pianists

The Rose Thorn Classifi eds website, updated Join Us 3 Bedroom Apartments Chevy Cavalier Table Talks for your viewing pleasure: Do you find yourself hungry Two 3 bedroom apartments for 1995 Chevy Cavalier, 2-dr Come to United Campus Minis- on Sunday nights? Join us for rent in Seelyville. $400 Security Coupe, Sunroof, auto, 125K, tries, 321 N 7th St., each Wednes- Hunger Management in the deposit. Second fl oor apartment $1,950, 877-8096 day night at 5:30 for TABLE TALKS, http://www.rose- basement of New Residence $575/mo utilities included. First a shared (often home cooked) meal hulman.edu/Thorn Hall Sundays at 5pm. We serve fl oor apartment $595 /mo. utili- Sharp Flats East and discussion around the table. a home cooked meal followed ties included. Leave a message for [email protected]. by a brief devotion. Hunger John Carrig at 812-665-4051. New owners and renovations. http://ucm.indstate.edu. Management is sponsored by Renting for 2004-2005 school 3 Bedroom House Classifi ed Ads American Baptist Campus Con- year. Effi ciencies $300 includes Faculty and Friends nection. Questions? Call Dave 3 Bedroom House with large bed- utilities. Studios $350 includes Discussion Group Information Doles at 236-5121 or Mike Mar- rooms, 2 baths with tub/shower. utilities. 1 Bed $400 + electric This semester’s FACULTY & tin at 872-6128. Could comfortably accommodate FRIENDS DISCUSSION GROUP, Pricing Information: 3-5 students. Central air and only. (These prices apply to facilitated by Dr. Bill Hughes, will $3.00 for fi rst 30 words washer/dryer hookups. $600/ most units) Off-street park- read and discuss the book “Amaz- Custom Embroidery +15¢ per additional word month+utilities. Only 5 minutes ing, Wireless internet, some ing Grace” by Kathleen Norris. FRATERNITITES, SORORITIES, from campus. Call 234-5680. furnished, great maintenance, Join us on Friday mornings at +15¢ per bold-face word CLUBS, ORGANIZATIONS! close to campus, and more! 8:00 at United Campus Minis- Consider embroidered shirts, Large Contemporary Apt. tries, 321 N. 7th St. 232-0186. bags, jackets, or shorts to mark Sharp Flats, LLC 877-1146. Submission Deadlines: Large contemporary apartment [email protected]. this year’s big events. Custom Ads must be submitted by for 2-3 persons. Within 10 min- http://ucm.indstate.edu. digitizing, affordable prices. Sharp Flats on Sixth Street Tuesday, 5 p.m. of the week utes of campus. Off street park- they are to run. Small and single orders wel- ing. $600/month+electric. Call Now renting for 2004-2005 Exploring Scripture come. Call 478-1334 for infor- 234-5680. School year. Located on or by E-mail mation. near South Sixth Street. Stu- EXPLORING SCRIPTURE BY What to submit: 2 Bedroom House E-MAIL is a program of weekly Insertion Date, Custom- Easy Fundraising dios and 1-9 bedroom units. 2 Bedroom House in nice Call Sharp Flats, LLC 877- Bible refl ection sent to you by e- er’s Contact Name, Ad- Fraternities – Sororities – Clubs quiet neighborhood. Only 5 1146 mail. If you would like to receive dress, Phone, and Fax, as – Student Groups: Earn $1,000 minutes from campus. $450/ this call United Campus Minis- well as the Text of the Ad. - $2,000 this semester with a month+utilities. Call 234-5680. The Bible and Our Lives tries at 232-0186 or e-mail us at proven CampusFundraiser 3- [email protected]. THE BIBLE AND OUR LIVES Campus Group Ad hour fundraising event. Our One Bedroom Apartment 3 Bedroom Apartment free programs make fundrais- meets each Tuesday night at 6:30 Pricing Information: ing easy with no risks. Fund- Furnished one bedroom apart- at United Campus Minitries, Furnished three bedroom apart- raising dates are filling quickly, ment available Fall quarter. 321 N 7th St. We have a group ment available Fall quarter. Nine so get with the program! It Ninemonth lease. $275 includes discussion on the Bible and month lease. $525 includes utili- $3.25 per column inch works. Contact CampusFund- utilities. Contact Dr. Ditteon spirituality as part of our lives. ties. Contact Dr. Ditteon (CL104, Full page = $250 raiser at (888) 923-3238, or visit (CL104, Box 171, ext. 8247 or 299- [email protected]. Box 171, ext. 8247 or 299-5182) for www.campusfundraiser.com. 5182) for more information. http://ucm.indstate.edu. more information.

The Rose Thorn Co-Editors-in-Chief: Entertainment Editor: Staff Writers: Photographer: CM 5037 Luke Stark Jacob P. Silvia Odessa Goedert Carmen DuVall RHIT Bob Schulein Adrian Throop 5500 Wabash Ave. Laura Krause Sports Editor: Advisor: Terre Haute, IN 47803 Abby Rebhorn Josh Annin Dr. Richard House E-mail: thorn@rose- News Editor: Trevor Claffey hulman.edu Nicole Hartkemeyer Emily Mitchell The Rose Thorn is printed Flipside: Kevin Spontak Fridays during the standard Phone:(812)877-8255 Assistant News Editor: Gregory Weir Stuart Nash Fax: (812)877-8166 Lissa Avery Steve Hoelle Courtland Caldwell Rose-Hulman quarters. Web Address: Ryan Cavanaugh Andrew Twarek www.rose-hulman.edu/thorn Opinions Editor: Webmaster: Eric Smith Brandon Hathaway Stephen Pierce The Rose Thorn Edited by Lissa Avery Friday, January 9, 2004 NEEWSWS 3 Flu, from Page 1 It killed an estimated 20 to 50 break was down to about 34,000. off the potentially deadly and million people worldwide and More recently, fl u scares in the highly contagious respiratory some 500,000 in the U.S. alone 1990s also failed to erupt into disease. The fl u shot is becom- according to the Atlanta-based major health threats. A 1997 out- ing increasingly important; most Centers for Disease Control and break of Avian fl u -- a virus previ- sources will say it is 70 to 90 per- Prevention. ously seen only in birds -- killed cent effective in healthy adults. Vaccines for the fl u were fi nally six people in Hong Kong and The success rate is slightly lower developed in the 1940’s and are prompted Chinese offi cials to or- in children and older people. Af- believed to have prevented more der the slaughter of all chickens ter the shot, the immune system severe pandemics from occur- in the region. produces antibodies that attack ring in more recent years. Hong Kong also was the focal the fl u virus when it enters the In 1957, the Asian fl u killed point of a 1999 fl u scare which body. an estimated 70,000 people in also was linked to birds. Although The fl u shot is safe to take with the U.S. but this pandemic was no one was known to have died only a few exceptions. Those al- identifi ed quickly because of from the strain, two children lergic to eggs shouldn’t take it be- Photo courtesy of Charles Williams scientifi c advances, and helped identifi ed with the virus were cause the vaccine is made from to prevent more deaths. Flu hospitalized and later recovered. inactivated viruses, grown in fer- The run off from Scum Pond into Speed Lake froze this week. fatalitites diminished greatly by Despite the pandemic scares in tilized hen’s eggs. There can also 1968, when the Hong Kong fl u the last few decades, experts insist be some short term side effects and the last true fl u pandemic we are due for one within the next from taking the shot, including a occurred. The number of people fi ve to ten years. mild case of the fl u. Also, one in a Fiesta del SAB killed in the U.S. during this out- Vaccine is the key to fi ghting million people will develop Guil- lian-Barre Syndrome, or GBS, a Gettin’ cold outside? Does a place like Mexico sound good nervous system disease. Most GBS patients recover, and right about now? Well, come join SAB at the annual winter th the risk is considered to be small dance on Saturday, January 17 . If a three-course catered compared to the unquestionable meal sounds good, come buy your ticket anytime Friday (1/ damage the fl u does. 9), Monday (1/12), or Tuesday (1/13) in the commons. Some people believe the fl u Tickets are only $5.00 each!!!! (SAB is pickin’ up the rest!) shot is nearly useless in prevent- If you don’t feel like dinner and you just want to enjoy the ing the fl u because the strains of dancing that will take place afterwards, all you have to do viruses that effect people during is drop by! No ticket necessary….it’s totally FREE! So don’t a fl u season are commonly not forget to come to see the Main Dining Room transformed included in that year’s fl u vac- cination. into a fi esta complete with PINATAS and MARGARITAS! U.S. health offi cials try to (Dinner is from 6pm-7:30pm and Dancing is from 7:30pm- push for fl u shots every year. 11pm) They have lowered the age for children to take the shot to six HASTA LUEGO! months in 2003. The American Academy of Family Physicians has recommended that universal infl uenza vaccinations start at age 50 because there are many http://www.medinfo.ufl .edu/year2/mmid/bms5300/bugs/ high risk individuals in the group infl u.html of people between 50 and 65 The infl uenza virus, which ravages humanity year after year. years old. Mad cow disease scare leaves lingering SGA apprehension around U. Oregon Updates By Lisa Catto disease scare, some Eugeneans ing up Feb. 2-6. On Mon- Oregon Daily Emerald (U. Or- are having second thoughts day, Feb. 2, we will have hot egon) about consuming or purchas- Derek Trobaugh chocolate and doughnuts 01/07/2004 ing beef. Guest Writer Bonnie Forrester, a pub- outside of the Commons. (U-WIRE) EUGENE, Ore. - lic health nurse for the Lane Welcome back. We hope On Wednesday, Feb. 4, the Two things may be on the mind County (Ore.) Public Health De- that everyone had a good ARA will have a special of everyone at and around the partment, said she has received winter break. The Student dessert for lunch. Finally University of Oregon lately: the many calls from concerned Government Association on Friday, Feb. 6, we will weather and mad cow disease. residents. has some exciting events be co-hosting an event On Dec. 23 the U.S. Depart- “People ask if the beef that coming up before the end of with SAB that will include ment of Agriculture announced they have in their fridge is OK,” the quarter. various inflatables (e.g. ob- a presumptive diagnosis of bo- Forrester said. Elections for the new stacle course and bungee vine spongiform encephalopa- But she said the panic over http://www.greenwave.com/ SGA President and Vice- run). This will take place thy, also known as BSE or mad mad cow disease has tapered off radio/ in the Kahn Room and the cow disease, in an adult Holstein and Lane County residents have Mad Cow disease devastates the President are coming up cow from Washington state. a new worry on their minds. bovine population. at the end of the month. Main Dining Room from Although the discovery of mad “We haven’t been receiving You should have received 8-11 pm. cow disease in the United States calls,” Forrester said. “People are occurred in the United States a petition in your mailbox Finally, the SGA Exchange has rattled some cages, offi cial concerned with the weather.” but that the patient lived in the and these are due back is up and running. This sources say that beef does not According to the CDC Web United Kingdom before moving Jan. 19 to the Student Af- can be found at www.rose- pose a health threat to the popu- site, mad cow disease is a pro- to the United States. fairs offi ce. Primary elec- hulman.edu/SGA/ex- lation. gressive neurological disorder Forrester said that anyone tions will be Jan. 27, with change. This site is for “The federal investigating that results from infection by with concerns about eating beef fi nal elections being held you to get a hold of other authorities have concluded that an unconventional transmis- should contact the CDC or the on Feb. 3. Elections will be students who are selling human food supplies have not Oregon Department of Agricul- sible agent. It may stem from held online through Ban- books, music, and other been threatened in any way,” feeding cattle food that con- ture. She added that if anyone ner Web. If you have any items that you may be in- Washington Gov. Gary Locke tains nerve tissue from the is concerned about their specifi c said in a press release. “Beef brain and spinal column of beef, they should contact the questions about the elec- terested in. No money will remains safe for consumption other cows. store where it was purchased. tions, please contact Nich- be transferred through the in our state and across the coun- Mad cow disease is most com- UO senior Gillian Ronning ex- ole Parke at parkenm@rose- site. The site is just a way try.” mon in the United Kingdom, pressed some concern about the hulman.edu. to get in contact with the According to the Centers for with more than one million discovery of mad cow disease in SGA will be tailgating seller. If you have any ques- Disease Control and Prevention, cattle that may have been in- the United States. at the men’s and women’s tions about the site you the infected cow didn’t come fected there. Ronning said that she recently basketball game on Jan. 16. can email Ron Zuckerman from the United States. The CDC When humans eat meat from left her vegetarian lifestyle be- There will be free cotton at ron.zuckerman@rose- Web site stated that based on the an infected cow, they can con- hind and found out about the candy for all students. Also, hulman.edu . cow’s ear tag identifi cation num- mad cow scare the day after tract a variant of the disease SGA is sponsoring different If you have any questions ber it was most likely imported called Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease eating her fi rst steak. She said events with the help of Stu- regarding any of the events, from Canada in August 2001. and commonly referred to as concerns crossed her mind, but feel free to contact a mem- Although the infected cow was vCJD. she stopped thinking about it dent Affairs, RHA, and SAB processed for human consump- As of Dec. 1, 143 vCJD cases that same day. at basketball games. Look ber of the Executive Coun- tion, the USDA recalled all beef had occurred in the United “I think the chances of getting for further announcements cil. Hope to see all of you at from cattle slaughtered on Dec. Kingdom out of a worldwide infected are small,” she said, about these events. the events. 9 at the involved plant. total of 153 cases. The CDC dis- “but it is still something I would Engineers Week is com- As a result of the mad cow closed that one of these cases think about before buying beef.” The Rose Thorn 4 Editor: Jacob P. Silvia ENNTERTAINMENTTERTAINMENT Friday, January 9, 2004 “Cold Mountain” warms the nation an admirable job, never Bob Schulein really seems to inhabit her Co-Editor in Chief character like the other actors do. This might have “Cold Mountain” is a been done on purpose love story set in Civil War to keep her character a times. Inman (Jude Law) somewhat mythical fi gure leaves behind Ada (Nicole to Inman. If it this was Kidman) to fi ght for the the case, then she should Confederacy. Compelled have had less screen by love and disillusioned time. Ultimately, her by the constant fi ghting, character just seems to be Inman leaves his comrades there. The movie wouldn’t to journey home to his love work without her, but at Cold Mountain. the part could have been Along his way home, developed more. Inman meets a host of Ultimately, the love story interesting characters. is overshadowed by the These characters end up amazing performances by being more memorable the supporting cast. Inman than the central love story, and Ada’s love is never fully and many actors appear in developed and is one of unexpected roles and do a those “love at fi rst site” surprisingly good job. Cold Mountain” is an epic love story set against the backdrop of the American Civil War. Jude Law and deals. All the grand talk Apparently, Natalie Nicole Kidman do an admirable job as the leads, but it is the supporting cast (Renee Zellweger pictured) is a bit much when they who steal the show. Portman can actually act! haven’t seen that much of She appears briefl y as a actors… with the prize. continues to amaze me each other. soldier’s widow Inman Renee Zellweger steals Philip Seymour Hoffman with his versatility. He Shortcomings aside, meets along his way all of her scenes as Ruby, takes a welcome turn gets really dirty in this I really enjoyed “Cold home. The pain of losing a feisty woman who from the independent fi lm movie and his pain feels Mountain.” The story her husband and being helps Ada keep her farm. circuit, taking the small real. The suffering of his moved surprisingly fast responsible for her child Zellweger bites into her role of a sex-obsessed people torments him and wondering what kind can be seen in her eyes and role and doesn’t let go – she preacher. His character and he is only kept alive of wacky character you’ll body language. Her desire plays the hardworking serves as comic relief by his love for Ada. Law meet next will keep you for Inman is clearly visible woman for all she’s worth. and is very memorable. carries the movie just fi ne entertained. With a more from the moment the two There has been lots of Giovanni Ribisi and Donald but it is the supporting developed central story, meet but little dialogue is Oscar buzz for her winning Sutherland also have good cast, in all their eccentric this could have been my exchanged. Now if only Best Supporting Actress small parts. glory, which makes it favorite movie of the year. George Lucas could learn already and I would be The lead actors also worthwhile. As it stands, it’s an excellent to communicate with happy if she walked away do a very good job. Law Kidman, while doing character piece.

Out This Week “21 Grams” pulls its weight By Pablo Saldana corpses club,” waiting for his murderous chivalry. his ability to create a fully Movies The Oracle (U. South Florida) failing heart to give out. He Inarritu tells the story in rounded character, gives Jack 01/08/2004 drags an oxygen tank when abstract fashion, giving the a unique persona not often Big Fish he walks and waits for his audience bits and pieces of seen in modern fi lm. Director: Tim Burton (U-WIRE) TAMPA, Fla. - “21 wife to leave long enough to the story. Despite this, the di- The fi lm’s only low point is Starring: Ewan McGregor Grams” is one of the best sneak himself a smoke. rector manages to fl awlessly a sluggish and fl avorless start, Rated: PG-13 fi lms of 2003, boasting dar- After giving up hope on build on the suspense, leav- with a few interesting char- ing direction, gripping per- his own heart, a fatal car ac- ing viewers in the dark as to acter moments but nothing Chasing Liberty formances and a well crafted cident claims the lives of a what may occur at any given remarkable. That soon fades Director: Andy Cadiff storyline. The title is not a father and his two daughters moment. as the fi lm sinks its teeth Starring: Mandy Moore drug reference, but is instead and Paul fi nds himself with a This approach could’ve into audiences and doesn’t Rated: PG-13 an allusion to the weight a new beater in his chest and been distracting in other relent for the remainder of person loses at the precise the thought of connecting hands, but Inarritu keeps “21 the movie. My Baby’s Daddy moment of death. to the person who has given Grams” consistently brilliant Since the release of “Me- Director: Cheryl Dunye Sean Penn and Naomi Watts it to him. What Paul fi nds, and draws audiences even mento,” many directors have Starring: Eddie Griffi n deliver the best roles of their though, is an empty house further into each character’s been using alternate chro- Rated: PG-13 careers, while Benicio Del that echoes with the loneli- misguided choices. nology as an effective tool in Toro builds on the promise ness of a heartbroken widow, Penn doesn’t stray from the story telling, but no fi lm has of his Academy Award win- Christine (Watts). grief stricken character he used the technique as well DVD ning role in “Traffi c.” Watts Christine is a blonde beau- played in Clint Eastwood’s as “21 Grams.” The movie’s lights up the screen with her ty whose dream has become “Mystic River.” Now, Penn fresh feeling is impressive The Shield Second Season portrayal of a modern-day a nightmare, leaving her with has two award-caliber perfor- given that this road has been Starring: Michael Jace Florence Henderson who haunting memories of her mances, and is a shoe-in for a traveled often in the last few transforms into a drug ad- lost family. She numbs the Best Actor nomination. years. Babylon 5 Fourth Season dict after death strikes close pain with a line of coke and Watts is fantastic as the The fi lm is an angst-fi lled Starring: Bruce Boxleitner to home. some whiskey. That is, until vengeful Christine, giving her theatrical rollercoaster of Mexican director Alejandro Paul appears. all and making even the most emotions, which has been a The Postman Always Rings Gonzalez Inarritu convinc- Together they hunt down mundane scenes dramatic theme for some of this win- Twice ingly captures these three the man responsible for the and memorable. She has ter’s best, from “Mystic River” Director: Tay Garnett individuals coming together deaths -- a criminal who has clearly grown as an actress, to “The House of Sand and Starring: Lana Turner through tragedy, while mas- found Christ -- played by the and gives arguably the best Fog” -- fi lms anything but tering non-linear storytelling. haunting Del Toro. Crippled female performance of last perfect and sweet. Uptown Girls This style of fragmented plot by his guilt and confused as year. “21 Grams” isn’t cluttered Director: Boaz Yakin structure turns “21 Grams” to why God allowed such a “21 Grams’” most fully with an abundance of special Starring: Brittany Murphy into a cinematic puzzle that tragedy to occur, Jack (Del developed character, Jack effects or overshadowed by doesn’t become clear until all Toro) is among modern -- Del Toro’s most convinc- an epic love story. Instead, My Darling Clementine the pieces are in place. cinema’s most compelling ing work to date -- is one of the fi lm is grounded by amaz- Director: John Ford Penn plays Paul, a math characters. What begins as the most eerie aspects of the ing performances and the Starring: Henry Fonda professor who refers to him- an act of gratitude on Paul’s movie. Del Toro steals scenes dark themes of revenge, grief self as a member of the “pre- part slowly becomes an act of from veteran Penn and, with and violence. The Rose Thorn Edited by Jacob P. Silvia Friday, January 9, 2004 ENNTERTAINMENTTERTAINMENT Is “Gigli” really that bad? 5 $4.99 bin is simple: it starred the perfect target. Many claimed hottest overexposed Hollywood it to be the worst movie of The Guy couple of the moment. The the year. I disagree; “Charlie’s only thing our society likes Angels: Full Throttle” or “House with the more than placing people on a of 1000 Corpses” get my vote. pedestal is to tear the pedestal Everybody who was anybody Movie out from under them to laugh hated “Gigli.” It was all the rage Camera as they fall. to talk with your friend about I was as sick as the next person how bad it was and how dumb of all the attention Affl eck and Affl eck and Lopez were for Bob Schulein Lopez were getting last summer. making it. Co-Editor in Chief Every grocery checkout was What troubles me is how cruel covered in magazines sporting and personal so many of the “Gigli.” Are you still reading? their mugs. Exposure that reviews were. People personally Wow, I’m surprised! The J. Lo / extreme cannot last forever, attacked Lopez and Affl eck for Ben Affl eck summer movie of and the backlash happened to being bad people. I’m sick of that name attracted horrendous “Gigli.” The public, the same seeing Affl eck everywhere I reviews and brought the country group that fueled the hype turn, but I’m not going to write out of “Bennifer” fever. I’m a machine behind the pair’s an article attacking him as a sucker for bad movies, so I had overexposure, just needed to person. to check it out! bring them down. “Gigli” was It’s easy to jump on the I’m sad to say that “Gigli” the perfect target. bandwagon and attack a movie really disappointed me. As “Gigli” has an admittedly or people. It’s not right, but that far as bad movies go, this one ridiculous premise. Affl eck is doesn’t seem to stop people in has nothing on such classics an assassin who pairs up with our culture from adapting the as “Troll 2,” and “Plan 9 from Lopez (an assassin who happens popular opinion as their own. Outer Space.” “Gigli” is actually to be bi-sexual) to hold a Ideally, people would make up a decent movie with just a mentally ill brother of a Federal their minds by themselves. Of few critical fl aws. The movie prosecutor hostage. Affl eck’s course, not everybody wants to has some inspired moments sexiness prevails and captures sit through every movie released and Lopez delivered some Lopez’s love. High profi le actors to judge its merits; that’s what memorable lines. turn up in goofy places. critics are for. It’s just a shame The reason critics condemned Everyone loves to hate that so many critics can’t do the movie to a lifetime in the something and this was the their jobs correctly. Photo courtesy of imdb.com DVD of the Week “X2: X-Men United” Ryan Cavanaugh Staff Writer Who’s your favorite X- Men character? Wolverine? Magneto? Nightcrawler? You’d be hard pressed to fi nd a Rose student who doesn’t already know that like they know their favorite color. “X2 – X-Men United” picks up where the excellent “X-Men” movie left off, bringing exciting new twists, thrilling special effects, and even more mutants. illustrating her powers. Back-to-School blues got After a mutant attempts to Also, you can see Gambit’s assassinate the president, real name on a computer a covert government screen in another scene if organization led by William you’re good with the pause you down? Stryker (Brian Cox) attacks key. Other than a couple the Academy as part of a of good deleted scenes, larger plan to solve “the the bonus DVD material is mutant problem” for mostly fi ller. good. The X-Men must While “Simpsons Comic Well, at least there’s always unite with Magneto and Book Guy” level fans might other mutants to protect not appreciate a few of the themselves from Stryker’s liberties taken with the evil plans. Along the way, characters, the universe of Papa John’s pizza. Wolverine discovers more the movie is both consistent about his past, and we and believable. Director meet many new characters and co-writer Brian Singer from the X-Men universe. has done an excellent job Nearly the entire cast of maintaining the feel of the “X-Men” returns for “X2”, X-Men without adhering with the notable additions to the comics too much of Alan Cumming as to make an enjoyable Extra Large 1234 WABASH AVE. One Large Nightcrawler and Kelly Hu movie. The most notable as Lady Deathstrike. divergence from the One-Topping One-Topping Although internet forums comics involves the death Store Hours... exploded with posts of a major character in X2 Mon-Wed: 9am - 1am decrying the apparent (you’ll have to watch it to Thurs-Sat: 9am - 2am 99 Sunday: 12pm - 12am 99 omission of Gambit and fi nd out who). Campus Only Campus Only ONLY ONLY Jubilee from major roles, Finally, it’s worth noting 9 7 the deleted scenes of the that "X-Men 3" has Limited Delivery Area - Coupon Required Limited Delivery Area - Coupon Required ORIGINAL OR THIN CRUST WHERE ORIGINAL OR THIN CRUST WHERE DVD feature a very short been announced, and is AVAILABLE Expires: 5/28/04. Not valid AVAILABLE Expires: 5/28/04. Not valid scene showing Jubilee with any other offer. Valid only at participat- with any other offer. Valid only at participat- scheduled for release in ing locations. Customer pays all applicable 232-PAPA ing locations. Customer pays all applicable with some special effects 2006. sales tax. Additional toppings extra. sales tax. Additional toppings extra. The Rose Thorn Edited by Brandon Hathaway 6 OPPINIONSINIONS Friday, January 9, 2004 One hundred years of miracles... at least marvelous thing to behold. 35 years ago and to Mars again appreciation of I tell Two weeks later, I would last week. We are explorers, we the exploratory turn twenty. I have been alive are a people who are always and you one-fi fth the time that people challenging the unknown. industrious have been fl ying. It happened It is also amazing how easy nature of man what to because two people decided it is to forget. Things that were are not only they’d do something that had once wondrous and incredible the mundane. think!!! never been done before. Even become routine because we The same though they were ill-equipped continue to do other things that techniques of Brandon Hathaway to do so and that others more are more amazing than the last manufacturing educated and more expected to amazing thing. Clocks once that made the Opinions Editor succeed were trying to do it fi rst. revolutionized world travel. automobile It is a fi fteen hour drive to It truly is one of Radio changed available to news.bbc.co.uk New Smyrna Beach, Florida, the high spots It is amazing our country. pretty much so as you can imagine, I fl y a for us, not only Yet these everyone in of course, they cannot. We lot. I tend to read on the plane, as Americans, what we can do. discoveries, America was fi rst used to develop would not have come as though, because not much but as people. as radical weapons. The project to discover far as we have as a people happens for most of the fl ight. It is amazing It is also amazing and new the power of the atom ended a if fear could ever overcome But I always set my book down what we can do. deas as they world war while creating fear of the human imagination. for the takeoff and landing. The how easy it is to were at their the possibilities of others that are I feel fortunate to be a member Two days after the one motivations that forget. nception, are far worse. The very vehicles of of humanity. The wonders that hundred year anniversary of inspired us to ommonplace fl ying have quite recently been will be created in aviation’s man conquering the sky, I circumnavigate o the used against us in anger as well. next hundred years will surely was being taken in a Boeing the earth, to explore the West point of being necessities. No These possible drawbacks surpass those that were 737 from a snowy Midwestern and to climb Mount Everest automobile comes without should not hinder us. The discovered in its fi rst. Human airport southwestward to are the same ones that took us either of those, and automobiles weaknesses of a few should ingenuity is incredible, and it another airport in a much to the sky. They are the same themselves are quite a feat. never hinder the progress is funny how you are reminded different climate. It is a ones that took us to the Moon The problems that impair the of the human spirit. And, of that when you start to forget. Dr. Love is back... Almost as ...but we’ve all lost count exciting as socks Holy crap, a And since it would be such a shame to waste Ask Dr. “Doctor Love” an opening like the one above on trivial matters, Possible candidates: servant article in the let’s talk about love in general. Love is a funny Ryan Cavanaugh monkey in suspended animation, Love Rose Thorn- thing. It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. And it Staff Writer bricks for building my own what’s the deal never will. But if you live your whole life without fi replace, Lord of the Rings 1300- Last year at some point my with that? I ever falling in love with someone, then you have Disc Special Extended Edition. family members began asking thought I got missed out on something more wonderful than I open the box last to fi nd me what I wanted for Christmas. banned from words can really describe. a vacuum cleaner. Not just For whatever reason, they’re not writing for the So, you’re with a girl; since this is Rose and I any vacuum cleaner, but the content to give me money, and Thorn. Or at know a good deal of the population, we’ll just bagless kind like you see on less content to give me nothing; Kevin Spontak least that’s what pretend. So, you’re with this imaginary girl, we’ll TV. Cool! Wait a minute, why my top two choices. Failing my I have had a call her “Bill.” How do you know you love “Bill?” am I excited about a vacuum Staff Writer preferred options, I defaulted to large number of I don’t know. Great answer right? But it’s true. cleaner? I haven’t even used one “whatever will be useful for me people tell me. But let me assure you, Doctor Love There is only one person who can tell you how you in years, thanks to hardwood in Seattle,” Seattle being where will live forever. Nothing can stop a legacy such as feel about other people. So as a guy writing for a fl oors and RHIT housekeeping. I’ll be starting my new job upon the one I am leaving. school newspaper, I can’t tell you anything about Thoughts race through my graduation at the end of this term. So, I might as well go into why I haven’t been it. I can guess and I can speculate but in the end, mind – have I become a boring Moving 1200 miles to start writing for a while. If you have read my column, that’s all it is. And sometimes people I have known twenty-something who only talks a new life in a new city means I mentioned this girl I was dating that I was pretty couldn’t tell whether they were in love and they about the latest appliance he a lot of things, not the least of serious with. Anyway, recently she and I broke up, started freaking out. bought and fi guring out his tax which being so the thought of writing about love and dating Love isn’t something that you can force or even liability for the the necessity of didn’t really appeal to me for a little bit. And this get to do what you want it to. Your heart will upcoming fi scal furnishing one’s is all FYI. I’m not looking for sympathy in this always follow its own path and all you can really How many quarter. Holy residence. It matter. If you’re fi nding out about this right now, do is hold on. By the way, the “Bill” scenario works rap, I already occurred to me can openers I don’t really want to talk to you about it. I know it with girls, too. Just replace the words “imaginary did fi gure out that I really have sucks and I don’t need you to tell me that. I really girl” with “desperate boy” and “Bill” with “Sara.” my tax liability no idea what will I need? don’t want some stranger coming up to me in a However, so many people have said so much on and the exact kind of things hall between a class and saying, “Sorry to hear love in general, me adding my two cents probably values to fi ll I’d need in a about your girl, man.” won’t do much. If you really liked this line of in on my W4 new apartment or house. Do they Rule # 15: “Some things time can’t heal.” To subject matter, feel free to write in and ask me to form (I am not making this up). come with glass in the windows, be perfectly honest, I have picked up a lot of my continue, but until then, I’m going to move on to a Where does my salvation or does the previous tenant take it views on dating from a friend of mine back home. more pressing matter. A little while ago, someone lie? Surely I can’t already be with him? How many can openers So, next time you think, “What a jackass,” just called into question my “smooth and deadliness.” doomed to the bland dreariness will I need? These questions remember that I am only the apprentice; there is So to that person, even though you were drunk, of the “real world.” I realized boggle the feeble domestic somebody worse out there. piss on you, I do fi ne with the ladies. As I have that getting a vacuum cleaner is region of the engineer’s brain. Moving on though, my friend and I were often said, the hardest part of dating is fi nding like buying a car. Sure, you have Christmas day comes, and I talking about losing a relationship that you’re someone that you’re interested in. After that it to change the oil, learn how to have a variety of boxes, most very attached to and all that goes along with gets real easy. And even though you may not agree change a tire, and get a driver’s of which weigh in excess of 20 that. Well, she had a relationship with someone with my views, I have found plenty of pretty girls license, but in return you get pounds. Upon unwrapping them, she absolutely adored and it ended for reasons who do. More over, this area is not a real great reach new heights of freedom and I fi nd a set of fl atware (just a fancy she couldn’t help and it’s still touchy for her. place to pick up cuties. I remember a guy who independence. The burdens of a word for silverware and plates), a This was about six years ago, and that’s the point was much smoother and deadlier with the ladies vacuum cleaner, kitchen tools, bunch of kitchen utensils with of this: no matter what you do in your life, you than I ever could be saying that exact thing to me and other assorted domestica great rubber handles, but the could get married, have kids, any of that stuff, but a couple years ago. But just as a reference, the girl are a small price to pay for the large unwrapped box in the any person you loved before, and this is real love, I was very serious with and I broke up about a new echelon of freedom and corner mystifi es me. It’s about not just lust, you will always remember. And no month ago. And I’m dating someone else now. So self-reliance that comes with four feet by two feet by two amount of time can change that. again, piss off, I do fi ne with the ladies. being the master of one’s own feet, and weighs forty pounds. house (or studio apartment). An Army of One their Hum-vees and Bradleys his father’s birthday, and his military movements, they are It is family that keeps our Odessa Goedert and driving towards their own birthday for the fi rst time not just reporting the tactics troops strong; it is our love and Staff Writer newest mission. I think of First in years. Every year on his of war, they are describing support that keeps them going. Lieutenant Hunter Bevis with birthday, April 1, we would my brother’s daily life. Our Whether or not I stand behind There is only one soldier in the 1st Cavalry Brigade climbing pull pranks on each other, families and friends stationed the war, I will absolutely stand our Army. He might be your into his M1A1 Abrams Main trying to top the previous April in the Middle East are in behind my brother. Our father, your brother, or your Battle Tank and motoring to an Fool’s Day. This year, Hunter’s danger every day, yet we victories are based on the neighbor. Or, she might be undisclosed, inevitably more holidays will be spent with often go on with our lives as army that remains behind; your sister or your cousin. dangerous location beneath M-16s and anti-tank armor though this danger is of no this is my Army of One: one When the Army moves into the sweltering Iraqi sun. instead of candles and short- consequence. Unfortunately, nation united, not in war, new territory, I do not think He is scheduled to be in sheeted beds. This year, I will days go by when I do not but in compassion for our of the thousands of nameless, Iraq for 6 more months; he have to save the jokes for later. think of Hunter, in fact, soldiers and hope for a safe faceless soldiers piling into will have missed Christmas, When the media covers many more than I would like. and speedy homecoming. The Rose Thorn Edited by Josh Annin Friday, January 9, 2004 SPPORTSORTS 7

MEN’S BASKETBALL (7-4, 1-0 SCAC) WOMEN’S BASKETBALL (4-8, 0-1 SCAC) Last Week: Last Week: Rose-Hulman 71, DePauw University DePauw University 52, Rose-Hulman 44 – A 56—The Rose-Hulman men defeated balanced effort by the Engineers made a 10-point DePauw Monday night, for the fi rst win second-half comeback, but couldn’t overcome the against the school in six years. Sophomore early Tiger lead Monday night. Sophomore Anna Hall led Rose-Hulman with 15 points and added Munchie Muskeyvalley led the Engineers six rebounds, and freshman Rebekah Forsyth added with a season-high 25 points, and junior her seventh double-double of the season with 13 Philip Griffi th added 16 points and a pair of points and 10 rebounds for the Engineers. blocked shots. Other scorers for Rose-Hulman include Carrie Other Engineer standouts were junior Wiley (5), Jessica Farmer (4, plus three blocked Jason Ludwig with nine points and eight shots), Karyn Kost (3), Katie Hamstra (2), and Kiley rebounds, and sophomore Kareem Lee who Wallace (2). They improved a 25% shooting effort supplied four points, nine rebounds and a in the fi rst half to 48% after the break, while holding career-high six assists. the Tigers to only 20% in that second period. The fi rst half of the game was back- This week: and-forth, with eight lead changes. Rose- Rose-Hulman vs. Rhodes College (8-4, 2-0 Hulman gained the lead for good in the SCAC) – Fri., Jan. 9, 7 p.m. ET, at Bryan Campus Life last fi ve minutes of the half and didn’t Center (Memphis, Tenn.) allow a Tiger fi eld goal for over ten minutes Rose-Hulman vs. Hendrix College (9-4, spanning halftime. The Engineers shot 46% 1-1 SCAC) – Sun., Jan. 11, 4 p.m. ET at Grove from the fl oor and held DePauw to only Gymnasium (Conway, Ark.) 32%. ATHLETES OF ACCOMPLISHMENT This week: Football: Rose-Hulman vs. Rhodes College (5-5, Coach Ted Karras was awarded “Best Performance 1-1 SCAC) – Fri., Jan. 9, 9 p.m. ET, at Bryan by a Rookie Coach” by d3football.com. His team Campus Life Center (Memphis, Tenn.) fi nished 5-5 and had three conference players of the week, eight all-conference team members, and Rose-Hulman vs. Hendrix College (0-9, an Academic All-American in Ryan Smith. 0-2 SCAC) – Sun., Jan. 2 p.m. ET at Grove Gymnasium (Conway, Ark.) M. Basketball: Munchie Muskeyvalley lit up the court with 25 WRESTLING points (one shy of a career-high) in the win over Last week: DePauw, including fi ve three-pointers and several Rose-Hulman At Citrus Open – Collin strong drives down the lane. Wyse and Byron Sanders both won fi ve matches in Ft. Lauderdale over Winter W. Basketball: Recess. Wyse fi nished 5-2 on the weekend, The Women’s Team had a strong second half, including 4-0 in the Duals portion. The defeating DePauw by 10 in the fi nal 20:00. All of the healthy members of the team scored a point, and sophomore Sanders put up a 5-3 record all but one grabbed a rebound in a very balanced overall. Tom Aigner, another sophomore, game. went 3-4 in the Citrus. Photo Courtesy Rose-Hulman Wrestling: This week: Sophomore Munchie Muskeyvalley made 25 points in the men’s game against Collin Wyse put up the team’s best record, 5-2, in Nothing Scheduled Depauw. Florida over break. Mississippi State rallies to defeat Ole Miss Enjoy By John Wilbert baskets inside the paint for Timmy Bowers and Lawrence Barnes credited Vincent for Daily Mississippian (U. the Rebels, who outscored Roberts, who scored 18 and doing the little things, such as Mississippi) the Bulldogs 18-8 in the paint 11 points, respectively. making a steal and grabbing 01/08/2004 during the opening half. Tommie Eddie and Justin rebounds, in the second half Ole Miss also out- Reed led the Rebels with 13 to lead his team to victory. sports? (U-WIRE) OXFORD, Miss. rebounded Mississippi State points each. Todd Abernethy “It’s the little things that are - It was a tale of two halves 22-14 in the fi rst half. added 12 points for Ole Miss. a difference in winning and Wednesday night at the Tad Unfortunately for the Mississippi State came losing,” Barnes said. Smith Coliseum as Ole Miss Rebels, Eddie’s success, as roaring out of the gates at “I like to give Mississippi took on Mississippi State in well as his teammates’, did the start of the second half, State a lot of credit. All those the Southeastern Conference not carry over to the second cutting the Rebs’ lead down guys hung in there.” opener for both teams. half, as the Rebels only shot to one, 29-28, in just over two Ole Miss forward Aaron Write Ole Miss (8-4, 0-1 SEC) a mere 38 percent from the minutes. Harper said he had to tip his played a solid fi rst half fl oor. However, Ole Miss hat to the Mississippi State against Mississippi State (12- The Bulldogs, on the other responded to Mississippi players for playing hard the 0, 1-0 SEC), shooting a near hand, shot an impressive 58 State’s early run and went on entire game. 45 percent from the fi eld en percent from the fl oor in the a 16-7 run to build their lead “They played hard for for the route to a 29-19 halftime second half. back up to 10 with 9:46 left to 40 minutes and we didn’t,” lead. “I think we were trying to play in the game. Harper said. However, the second half hold onto the lead instead of The Bulldogs took over for Ole Miss turned the ball was not in favor of the Rebels, just going on and try to win good on a layup by Branden over 13 times in the second as Mississippi State outscored a basketball game because Vincent with 4:26 to go in the half, and Mississippi State Rose the Rebels 42-25 in the last 20 we were tentative and not game. capitalized by scoring 20 minutes of the game to win aggressive enough,” Ole Miss “We didn’t establish points of Ole Miss’ turnovers. 61-54. head coach Rod Barnes said. ourselves from the beginning “We had opportunities to Ole Miss led by as much “In this league, most of the after halftime,” Barnes said. take full control of the game,” as 12 points in the fi rst half games come down to the last Barnes said he thought Barnes said. Thorn! thanks to the all-around play four or fi ve minutes, and Vincent was the spark “They got a very good of forward Tommie Eddie. their team won the four or that ignited the Bulldogs’ basketball team. Down the Eddie scored seven points fi ve minutes tonight, and as comeback in the second half. stretch there they made and grabbed 11 rebounds in a result they came away with Vincent scored eight points in plays, and we didn’t.” [email protected] the fi rst half. the win.” the second half and grabbed Eddie scored some tough The Bulldogs were led by six rebounds in the game. Volume 39, Issue 12 I feel the sweet allure of the bed. Friday, January 9, 2004 Top Ten New Years Resolutions Broken This Week Tired of not feeling like yourself? Waking up in the morn- 10.Turn in your homework on time, and without those weird stains. ing to fi nd that the face in the mirror is the same as yester- 9. Stop stealing roommate’s chocolate, Mountain Dew, underwear. day’s? Skin lost its sheen, giving way to a dull scaly mem- brane? 8. Bathe regularly. Try Flepsium. Flepsium is a new prescription drug that 7. Exercise ultimate control of the squirrel people. may help with a rare disorder. If you have a family history of 6. Cut down on those messy axe murders that ruin your favorite clothes. mitochondria, hyperfl exion, or distension, you are an at-risk 5. Stop calling professors “Jimbo,” “Ike,” and “Dr. Foofoo McKnuckleberry.” subject for this disease. 4. Find that funky smell coming from behind your desk. Side effects of fl epsium include perfi dy, monikery, bloated 3. Work on learning Esperanto. thumbs, and decreased gas mileage. 2. Stop stalking that blonde in your Optics class. Only your doctor knows if the little brown tetrahedron is 1. Stop putting Hertz references in Top Ten lists. right for you. See your doctor today. Herbig’s Pun of the Week Wacky Prof Quotes Jesus said to his disciples, “The Kingdom of “It seems to us kind of horrible, but it’s horrible in an affectionate way.” heaven is like 3x2 + 8x - 9.” They didn’t under- --Prof. House, relating horror and affection stand, so they asked Peter what he meant. “Don’t worry,” said Peter. “It’s just another “See how easily misled you are? It’s wonderful having the power of the professor.” one of his parabolas.” --Prof. Ferguson, mad with power

“That goes beyond my expertise.” SAVE ALL BARCODES --Prof. Bunch, on gophers

“It’s not some magical thing handed down my Moses!... ‘Here are the Ten Commandments and... Convolution!’” --Prof. Ferguson, preachin’ that time-invariant religion

“a, b, c, d... how about e? That’s a good name for a constant! Oh, wait, there’s actually a reason it’s called e?” --Prof. Chenoweth, learning about Euler

“The plain fact is that most failures are caused by stupidity. Plain, stupid ignorance... Stupidity erupts all over the place.” --Prof. Sutterer, apparently frustrated about something

“I don’t think Professor Padgett can do this.” --Prof. Ferguson, doing an integral without pictures

“Random is an odd thing. Random can look pretty patterny.” --Prof. Thomas, going outside his fi eld

“I can hear Caroline Carvill’s skin shriveling.” --Prof. Gohre, advocating un-good grammer

“You can see my copy, but I ask for a $50 deposit. Or your fi rst-born child.” --Prof. McKinney, being gracious.

“Except dogs can’t do your hair.” --Prof. House on the limitations of canine servility

Send your prof quotes or other humor material to fl [email protected].

This Day in History The fi rst modern circus is staged in 1768, with Philip Astley performing stunts on a horse. This is followed by an accident creating the fi rst “Circus Goober.”

In Addition Sometimes, I make my- self a ham sandwich, and I draw a little face on it in mustard. I swear I can hear it scream as I eat it.

The Little Line o’ Litigious Lard: The content of The Flipside is intended to be purely humorous, and it does not represent the opinions of The Rose Thorn or Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology. It probably doesn’t represent anybody’s opinions... anyone who matters. If you’re offended, just chill. All material is copyright of its respective owner. No one understands. No one knows my plan.