DOCSLIB.ORG

Captain Gabriel and the Great Planetary Odyssey

Total Page：16

File Type：pdf, Size：1020Kb

Download full-text PDF Read full-text
Captain Gabriel and the Great Planetary Odyssey Chapters Chapter 1: Moonian or Martian? ................................................................................................................................ 1 Chapter 2: Icy the Ice Queen ....................................................................................................................................... 3 Chapter 3: The Crisis of the Missing Snacks ................................................................................................................ 5 Chapter 4: Mars… Again? ............................................................................................................................................ 8 Chapter 5: A Breezy Space Walk ............................................................................................................................... 10 Chapter 6: Franky the Hot Dog Vendor ..................................................................................................................... 13 Chapter 7: An Unexpected Encounter ...................................................................................................................... 16 Chapter 8: The Great Planetary Race (Part I) ............................................................................................................ 19 Chapter 9: The Great Planetary Race (Part II) ........................................................................................................... 24 Chapter 10: Crossing Paths ....................................................................................................................................... 28 Chapter 11: Full Circle ............................................................................................................................................... 33 Chapter 12: The Trek to Saturn ................................................................................................................................. 38 Chapter 13: The Great Snot Bubble .......................................................................................................................... 42 Chapter 14: The Travelocity Gnome ......................................................................................................................... 45 Chapter 15: The Life of a Gnome .............................................................................................................................. 49 Chapter 16: The Time Machine ................................................................................................................................. 53 Chapter 17: Operation Total Mayhem ..................................................................................................................... 59 Chapter 18: Déjà vu ................................................................................................................................................... 64 Chapter 19: Decision Time ........................................................................................................................................ 69 Chapter 20: The Mad Dash ....................................................................................................................................... 72 Chapter 21: Mercury (a.k.a. The Great Reunion—Part I) ......................................................................................... 78 Chapter 22: The Rockin’ Dead ................................................................................................................................... 82 Chapter 23: The Encore ............................................................................................................................................. 89 Chapter 24: A Few Moldy Buns ................................................................................................................................. 94 Chapter 25: Worm Holes, Elvis Presley, and the Realm of the Dead ........................................................................ 97 Chapter 26: The Marriage Express (a.k.a. The Great Reunion—Part II) ................................................................. 103 Chapter 27: A Fishy Tale .......................................................................................................................................... 110 Epilogue ................................................................................................................................................................... 117 Chapter 1: Moonian or Martian? Hello, and let me introduce myself, "Hello, and let me introduce myself, I'm two years old, and small as an elf. I'm two years old, and small as an elf. I'm a cute little boy named Gabriel, I'm a cute little boy named Gabriel, And so I fit cribs and onesies very well. And so I fit cribs and onesies very well. I have two parents—a mom and dad, This here is my companion and good friend Teddy, Sometimes they scold me for being bad, For a long time has our friendship been steady. They tell me "go to sleep!" We are traveling through the stars—that's right— And not to make a single peep. For how could we not on such a clear night? But I can't help it, I swear, And what may your name be, Mister Alien? For I feel like playing with my teddy bear, Or would that be ‘Sir’? But then again, Rather than going to sleep, I think you might go by ‘Moonian,’ no? And falling into a dream so deep. You are a Moonian, isn't that so?" For me and teddy would go on adventures, "In fact, young Earthling, I am not. And take bold risks and great ventures, I'm actually stuck—kinda caught. If only we could break free, I only crash landed here, you see. Of this crib and its bars surrounding me. I'm really a Martian—yesseree. Why, if we could, we'd try, teddy and I, I'm from Mars; I'm your neighbor next door, To climb aboard that rocket in the sky— I was exploring the planets and so much more, The one on my mobile hanging above me, Until my stupid ship crash landed here, With planets, stars, and comets floating free. Because I suddenly forgot how to steer! We'd climb aboard, I say, Luckily, I found a few helpful locals, And we'd fly far far away, Who were kind enough to answer my calls, Out of this crib and to the stars, My calls of distress and frustration, No longer caught between these bars. And so they came to assess my situation. The first place we'd go, in our rocket ship, There were three of them to be exact, On this adventurous space-bound trip, And, oh, how quickly they began to act. Is to the Moon, that bright round ball, I'd say ‘Scientist,’ ‘Philosopher,’ and ‘Engineer’— That I see outside the window on my wall. That is, if I were to name them by career. We'd land and right away, The scientist, Hubert, studies quantum mechanics, Right on the very first day, And listens very closely to those annoying tics, Meet an alien, some weird moon-creature, The ones my ship’s been mysteriously making, Someone who was strange to look at for sure, Ever since the crash from which I'm still shaking. For his skin would be green like a frog, The engineer, Sally, has begun, Not like a sheep, goat, or dog, Eagerly and seemingly having fun, And he’d have big bulging eyes, To fix the plumbing on my ship— The type that would take you by surprise, First order of business on a space trip! And don’t get me started on his head, And the philosopher, Immanuel, has been thinking, For it would be huge like a king size bed, Thinking long and hard, sometimes blinking. A pair of spectacles on his face would sit, Trying to figure out the justification for why And a propeller cap on his head would fit. I crashed rather than soared through the astral sky. I'd introduce Teddy and I, I would, Come, let me introduce you. To this strange looking alien, as I should, Maybe you can join the crew. And I'd kick things off right, I'm sure that you and Teddy, And try at all costs to avoid a fight: Have something to offer at the ready." "Why, that would be splendid," I'd say, But that's a different problem, a digression, "I'm so glad that in my crib I didn't stay, What's important now is to answer the question, For this is already way more exciting, Of why this terrible event did happen. Than I expected, and, oh, how inviting." We know it wasn't because Sir Martian was nappin'. Teddy and I would follow Sir Martian, The only conclusion I can come to about this curse, Back to his friends at the station. Is that we live in a deterministic universe, It wouldn't take long—no, not at all, Which can only mean it was written in the stars, For the Moon is a tiny, eensy-weensy ball. That on this day you would crash, traveler from Mars." We would get there speedy quick, and I would see, "Now wait a minute," Hurbert would stand up, Hubert, Immanuel, and skinny little Sally. "If determinism were tea, I'd throw away the cup, They would be hard at work indeed, For as an expert in quantum theory, Taking care of Sir Martian's central need. Talk of determinism makes me weary. I'd see Hubert knocking on the ship, on the door, For it is false—and that means not true— And then listening for something, maybe a roar. That everything we see and everything we do, He was studying something for sure, testing. Has been written in the stars since time began. A lot of concentration he seemed to be investing. Can things happen randomly? Yes they can!" Sally would be there too, getting a shock— So Hubert and Immanuel would shout and dispute, After fixing the wires in the cockpit clock. That what the other was saying does not compute, She'd like it though,
Load more

Recommended publications
  • PROGRAM GUIDE Friday, October 4
    PROGRAM GUIDE Friday, October 4 GARDEN ROOM 1 GARDEN ROOM 2 BRITTANY ROOM CRESCENT ROOM EATON ROOM INFO ABOUT AUTOGRAPH 11AM 11AM-12PM Ask Don Glut Anything SIGNING AND CHILDREN’S 12PM Noon-1:00PM I Like My Books Noon-1:00PM Comic Issues Live Noon-1:00PM It’s All Happening PROGRAMS: SEE PAGE 10 12:15-1:15 Early Origins of Early 12:15-1:15 Star Trek: Deep With Pictures—Comics in Aca- podcast on the Web demic Libraries, the SDSU Way American Comic Strip Books Space Nine and the American COMIC FEST FILM PROGRAM Experience Comic Fest again is showing 1PM night-time films, most of them 1:15-2:15 Comics You Should 1:15-2:15 Tarzan: Myth, Culture, in the time-honored 16 mm format. Come join us in the 1:30-2:30 One-on-One With 1:30-2:30 Creation of a lan- Be Reading Comics and Fandom Eaton Room for the movies! Eric Shanower guage for Game of Thrones The schedule will be posted 2PM outside the room for both days. COMIC FEST AUCTION 2:45-3:45 IDW Artist’s Editions— 2:45-3:45 Comics Fandom in The first Comic Fest Auction 3PM Scott Dunbier Explains All the 1960s and ‘70s Compared will be Saturday, Oct. 5 at 5 to Today p.m. under the Tent. Items for sale will include some great comics, toys, DVDs and 3:45-4:45 One-on-One With 3:45-4:45 Creating Comics—A original art. We will have a Andrew Biscontini Crash Course Workshop 4PM 4:00-5:00 One on One with 4:00-5:00 Star Trek Deep Space live comic art demonstration Jerry Pournelle (Larry Niven Nine vs.
    [Show full text]
  • January 2013
    [email protected] www.cvarchers.com Monthly Newsletter January 2013 From the Prez To all CVA member’s Happy New Year 2012 was a good year for CVA. We have upgraded the JOAD and roving range, mem- bership is up, volunteer hours are up and fi- nances are solid. We are in an ideal position to move forward and continue improving the club and our facilities. Over the next few months we are planning to re-organize our JOAD program in order to give our top archers more time with the senior coaches. We will still keep our walk up program intact. This will be a reallocation of resources, getting more of our level 1 and 2 coaches to help out more, which should free up the level 3 and 4 coaches. This should be a great opportunity for those of you who want individual/small group instruction, without paying for private lesion. The roving range will have target covers and animal stakes in a few months. With all the recent interest in archery this year I would expect more participants in the club shoot this year. I noticed that the targets caught quite a few arrows over the holidays, which tells me people have been out there hav- ing fun We are moving forward with Easton in order to set up the tournament range at the back gate. Hopefully, the grant will be funded and we will be able to break ground this year. As you can see there are many things that are happening around the range and it could not happen unless CVA volunteers make it happen.
    [Show full text]
  • Pledge Program.Indd
    Welcome new Pledges, All new initiates must abide by the following house rules. Proper audience etiquette is required. Failure to do so will result in disciplinary action which may include contacting your parent or guardian and possible expulsion. 1. When laughing, please cover your mouth discreetly. 2. Chortles and guff aws are allowed. Snorting and sarcasm are not. 3. Ladies may remove their gloves but keep them at the ready. 4. No hand holding or shoulder touching will be tolerated. Save that for marriage. 5. Gentlemen - any humor of a political or technical nature may be explained to your date at intermission. 6. Any unchaperoned young ladies will be discreetly removed. Respectfully, Gladys Hump House Mother Karen is a Groundlings Alum who is thrilled to be directing this show. She directed numerous Main show revues & Sunday shows throughout the years. Most recently recurred on ALMOST PERIOD on Comedy Central. TV credits include TWO BROKE GIRLS, SHAMELESS, ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT, RAISING HOPE, CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM, THE NEIGHBORS, NIP/ TUCK,YOUNG AND HUNGRY, CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM, WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?. Film appearances include THE CAMPAIGN, THE BUCKET LIST and PULP FICTION. VO credits heard on THE SIMPSONS, AMERICAN DAD, FUTURAMA, Karen KING OF THE HILL, JUSTICE LEAGUE and HEAVY Maruyama GEAR. She directs THE BLACK VERSION at Largo at the Coronet which originated at The Groundlings. (Director) She also is part of the directing faculty at the American Film Institute. Scott Beehner’s television appearances include CASUAL, EXTANT, NCIS, MODERN FAMILY, WORKAHOLICS, IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA, HART OF DIXIE, SUPER FUN NIGHT, UP ALL NIGHT, PERFECT COUPLES, MAD LOVE, WORST WEEK, ZEKE & LUTHER, THUNDERMANS and THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS.
    [Show full text]
  • Screen Actors Guild Awards Acceptance Speech Transcripts TABLE of CONTENTS INAUGURAL SCREEN ACTORS GUILD AWARDS
    Screen Actors Guild Awards Acceptance Speech Transcripts TABLE OF CONTENTS INAUGURAL SCREEN ACTORS GUILD AWARDS ...........................................................................................2 2ND ANNUAL SCREEN ACTORS GUILD AWARDS .........................................................................................6 3RD ANNUAL SCREEN ACTORS GUILD AWARDS ...................................................................................... 11 4TH ANNUAL SCREEN ACTORS GUILD AWARDS ....................................................................................... 15 5TH ANNUAL SCREEN ACTORS GUILD AWARDS ....................................................................................... 20 6TH ANNUAL SCREEN ACTORS GUILD AWARDS ....................................................................................... 24 7TH ANNUAL SCREEN ACTORS GUILD AWARDS ....................................................................................... 28 8TH ANNUAL SCREEN ACTORS GUILD AWARDS ....................................................................................... 32 9TH ANNUAL SCREEN ACTORS GUILD AWARDS ....................................................................................... 36 10TH ANNUAL SCREEN ACTORS GUILD AWARDS ..................................................................................... 42 11TH ANNUAL SCREEN ACTORS GUILD AWARDS ..................................................................................... 48 12TH ANNUAL SCREEN ACTORS GUILD AWARDS ....................................................................................
    [Show full text]
  • TV Listings SATURDAY, JULY 11, 2015
    TV listings SATURDAY, JULY 11, 2015 01:00 Unstrung Heroes 02:45 The Portrait Of A Lady 05:15 1911 07:00 There Be Dragons 08:45 Up Close And Personal 11:00 The Portrait Of A Lady 13:30 1911 15:15 Grand Piano 16:45 Up Close And Personal 19:00 Collaborator 21:00 The Boxer 23:00 Blue Ruin 01:00 St. Vincent-PG15 03:00 Playing For Keeps-PG15 05:00 Percy Jackson: Sea Of Monsters-PG 07:00 Planes: Fire And Rescue-PG 09:00 The Love Punch-PG15 11:00 The Monuments Men-PG15 13:00 Upside Down-PG15 15:00 The Amazing Spider-Man 2 17:30 The Love Punch-PG15 19:15 Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues-PG15 21:15 The Grand Budapest Hotel 23:00 Baggage Claim-PG15 01:30 A Turtle’s Tale 2: Sammy’s Escape From Paradise 03:15 The Adventures Of Rocky And Bullwinkle 05:00 Sir Billi 06:30 Dragon Guardians 08:00 Luke And Lucy: The Texas Rangers EMPIRE STATE ON OSN MOVIES ACTION HD 09:45 Daddy I’m A Zombie 11:15 Speed Racer 10:30 Caribbean Premier League 19:20 Say Yes To The Dress 15:40 The Amazing World Of 07:30 Jake And The Never Land 21:25 Ducktales 13:30 The Adventures Of Rocky And H/L: St Kitts v St Lucia 21:00 Oprah Presents: Master Class Gumball Pirates 21:50 Lilo & Stitch Bullwinkle 11:30 Natwest T20 Blast H/L: Kent v 22:40 Extreme Cheapskates 16:25 Clarence 07:55 Sofia The First 22:15 Zou 15:15 Goat Story 2 Somerset 23:05 90 Days To Wed 17:10 Steven Universe 08:20 Doc McStuffins 22:30 Art Attack 16:45 The Nut Job 12:30 ICC Cricket 360, Episode 27 17:22 Steven Universe 08:45 Loopdidoo 22:55 Limon And Oli 18:30 Daddy I’m A Zombie 13:00 Live The Ashes: ENG v AUS,
    [Show full text]
  • Director's Note
    DIRECTOR’S NOTE Ah...the yearly family road trip to Uncle Hank’s cottage in Michigan. We had a classic yellow station wagon with the wood paneling. Me, my parents, and my four older sisters crammed inside. The back of the car was filled with everything five kids needed for the week. They would clear about one foot of space for me to fit in. No seat belt, but the supplies around me would keep me safe. My dad also loaded gear on top of the car. Usually about five miles down the freeway it would come loose. He would pull over and re-tie it and we would be back on the road. There were so many stops-The gas station, Lunch at the rest area, Bathroom breaks at diners, and convenience stores. It seemed like it took most of the day to get there. As an adult, I realized it should be about a two hour drive. My parents must have been losing their minds, just wanting to get these five creatures to the cottage. But it was fun for us! Hope you enjoy Groundlings Family Road Trip! -Michael Naughton Michael was a member of a pretty well-known sketch comedy group called The Groundlings in Los Angeles, CA. It’s on Melrose. Definitely a place you should check out if you get a chance. He can be seen on upcoming seasons of BETTER CALL SAUL and IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA. Yes, those shows are still on the air. They just take long breaks, it’s not his fault.
    [Show full text]
  • Cartoon Network Turns 20
    SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION OF ADVERTISING AGE BY JULIE LIESSE In 1997, the management team at 5-year-old Cartoon Network cooked network has seen its share of “potholes and obstacles, but has been scrappy all the way,” Mr. Sorcher says. up an April Fool’s Day stunt. The idea was to pick the most annoying In 1992, after purchasing Hanna-Barbera’s car- cartoon they could find and run it over and over again—for 12 hours. toon library, and with classic MGM and Warner Bros./Looney Tunes titles in hand, Mr. Turner turned They chose a 50-year-old Tex Avery cartoon featuring of Turner Broadcasting System’s Animation, Young heads with his decision to launch a 24-hour cable a character called Screwy Squirrel. The cartoon went Adults & Kids Media division. Now, as it celebrates network dedicated to animation. Some observers on the air at 6 a.m. and, at seven minutes long, repeat- its 20th anniversary on Oct. 1, Cartoon Network is ed about eight times an hour. What the programmers offered in 26 languages and is a presence in 178 coun- did not anticipate was the major snowstorm that hit tries and 367 million households around the world. the East Coast that day; schoolchildren were home Following the first quarter of 2012—its best in five At a Glance and watching TV, and soon the network switchboard years—the network completed its most-watched sec- Q Available in 26 languages across 27 separate feeds. was flooded with phone calls asking what was go- ond quarter and summer ever, according to Nielsen ing on.
    [Show full text]
  • Lead Audio Product Last Run DMA Station Air Date Program MR OWL
    Lead Audio Product Last Run DMA Station Air Date Program MR OWL Tootsie Roll Pop 10/17/14 National Cable Nickelodeon 10/17/14 SpongeBob SquarePants MR OWL Tootsie Roll Pop 10/17/14 National Cable Nickelodeon 10/17/14 Peppa Pig MR OWL Tootsie Roll Pop 10/17/14 National Cable Nickelodeon 10/16/14 SpongeBob SquarePants MR OWL Tootsie Roll Pop 10/17/14 National Cable Nickelodeon 10/16/14 SpongeBob SquarePants MR OWL Tootsie Roll Pop 10/17/14 National Cable Nickelodeon 10/16/14 SpongeBob SquarePants MR OWL Tootsie Roll Pop 10/17/14 National Cable Nickelodeon 10/16/14 Peppa Pig MR OWL Tootsie Roll Pop 10/17/14 National Cable Cartoon Netw 10/12/14 Legends Of Chima MR OWL Tootsie Roll Pop 10/17/14 National Cable Cartoon Netw 10/12/14 Clarence MR OWL Tootsie Roll Pop 10/17/14 National Cable Cartoon Netw 10/12/14 The Amazing World Of Gumball MR OWL Tootsie Roll Pop 10/17/14 National Cable Disney XD 10/12/14 Doraemon MR OWL Tootsie Roll Pop 10/17/14 National Cable Disney XD 10/12/14 The 7D MR OWL Tootsie Roll Pop 10/17/14 National Cable Disney XD 10/12/14 Hulk And The Agents Of S.M.A.S.H. MR OWL Tootsie Roll Pop 10/17/14 National Cable Cartoon Netw 10/11/14 Pokemon the Series: XY MR OWL Tootsie Roll Pop 10/17/14 National Cable Cartoon Netw 10/11/14 The Amazing World Of Gumball MR OWL Tootsie Roll Pop 10/17/14 National Cable Cartoon Netw 10/11/14 Teen Titans Go! MR OWL Tootsie Roll Pop 10/17/14 National Cable Cartoon Netw 10/11/14 The Amazing World Of Gumball MR OWL Tootsie Roll Pop 10/17/14 National Cable Cartoon Netw 10/11/14 The Amazing World Of
    [Show full text]
  • Director's Note
    DIRECTOR’S NOTE In 1974, The Groundlings discovered a series of interlocking chambers underneath this very site, 7307 Melrose Ave. It was obvious The Groundlings had uncovered a pre-clovis archeological find of unspeakable value. A painstaking dig revealed 90 ton monoliths, frescoes depicting ancient gods and a recipe for corn mash frittatas that is actually quite good. Most importantly, in the central chamber, surrounded by guardian statues and booby traps, a gilded chest was discovered. When it was opened, a renaissance character based sketch comedy was unleashed. The Groundlings will never publicly reveal the nature of the treasure they uncovered. Some say it was an amulet of unspeakable comedic power, others maintain that it was simply a box of hilarious wigs. We invite you to ponder the mysterious forces at work in this theatre. But we beseech you, DO NOT pull on the torch sconce in the lobby. For the love of all that is holy, LEAVE THE TORCH SCONCE ALONE! Pull on anything else in the lobby, but not the ANCIENT TORCH SCONCE!!! Now, please sit back in one of the theatre’s ancient thrones, marvel at the stage’s mysterious alignment with the center aisle and fire exits, and enjoy GROUNDLINGS TREASURE HUNTERS! -Ted Michaels Ted Michaels is an actor, writer, director and puppeteer. As an actor, he’s starred in TV shows like THE COMEBACK, CSI, ACCORDING TO JIM, MAD TV, and as Floyd in the acclaimed web series, THE GUILD. He’s written for MIKE TYSON MYSTERIES on Adult Swim and BUCKET & SKINNER’S EPIC ADVENTURES on Nickelodeon.
    [Show full text]