The Lion’s Roar Issuu.com/thelionsroar opinions December 20, 2019 Page 9

graphic by Gemma Hill ME, MYSELF AND I Female masturbation is seldom acknowledged due to the widespread notion that female sexual pleasure must come from a male partner By Anonymous*

es, I masturbate,” I said to my long. Since middle school, I had witnessed own sexual fulfillment is not equally valued? friend, turning my hot, probably boys talk openly at school about masturba- The double standard that begins in beet-red face away from hers tion. Guys in my seventh-grade class would classroom conversations creates an expecta- “Yduring a game of truth or dare. At 16, this compare their favorite porn stars and discuss tion that is reinforced by the media — just was a sentence I had never uttered aloud and their weekend jerk sessions like they were a Google sexism in movie ratings. Movies and never thought I would. Masturbation was huge accomplishment. TV shows often fall into the same pitfalls that supposed to be something secret, ignored. Books, movies and TV shows con- my middle school experience did. Girls are Even the word is weird. “Mas - tur - ba - tion,” stantly have jokes about left hands, lotion and only ever portrayed expressing desire for makes you uncomfortable, doesn’t it? Guys tissues. I distinctly remember sitting in art a relationship, not for sex itself. The nor- have ‘jerking off,’ ‘beating the meat,’ and even class and overhearing a table of boys talking malization of male sexuality and the lack of ‘wanking it,’ you get the idea. Girls only have at full volume about masturbation methods female desire perpetuates a never-ending “masturbating,” which sounds like something (socks were the most popular) and how they cycle of that erases female sexuality almost you do to prepare a turkey. It’s not — for lack dispose of their cum. Guys would talk about completely. of a better word — sexy. how horny they were and which girls gave Luckily, things are changing. Hol- I began masturbating when I was them erections. For them masturbation was lywood is beginning to, rather tim- pretty young, but, idly, address mas- until eighth grade, I turbation on “teen” didn’t actually know platforms. Movies what I was doing. How can we expect to achieve full equality like “Ladybird” and In fact, up until that “Booksmart” depict point, I thought that between men and women when their own main characters mas- only guys mastur- sexual fulfillment is not equally valued? turbating and talking bated. I assumed girls about it with their just couldn’t or didn’t. friends. TV shows When I was like “Dear White younger, a friend vaguely mentioned some- exciting, for me it was shameful. People” and “Sex Education” discuss mas- thing about being able to get pregnant even My observations follow a national tubration in detail, presenting it as equally or if you hadn’t gotten your period yet — which trend. According to the 2016 National Survey more satisfying than sex. This kind of content is false by the way — and I, with my complex of Sexual Health and Behavior conducted by makes room for and invites conversations understanding of the female reproductive Indiana University, out of 14- to 17-year-olds, like the one I first had at 16. system, took that to mean I could get myself 74% of boys said that they masturbated, while I wish I hadn’t waited until that pregnant just by touching myself. So I stopped only 48% of girls said the same. sleepover to share my “secret.” Had health out of fear, but soon started again. In my These statistics feed a greater issue. If classes addressed female masturbation, I mind, I was risking pregnancy every time. girls are not masturbating and taking author- probably would have talked about it sooner. But I never told anyone, until that fate- ity over their own sexuality and bodies, they Eight-year-old me could have enjoyed ful game of truth or dare. After I answered yes, will not be able to advocate for themselves myself instead of stressing over childhood my friends shared that they too masturbated, when they begin having sex. In heterosexual pregnancy. 16-year-old me could have felt much to my relief. As we“ sat there with flushed relationships, men are placed in a position of comfortable in my sexuality, instead of hid- faces, we learned that other girls, in fact, all power and are expected to be more sexually ing it. We don’t have to let this stay a “secret” of the girls in the room, did too. In the con- versed. Both parties are taught that male” issue. No, you don’t need to broadcast your versations that followed, I found that I had pleasure comes before that of a woman and habits in a public forum or talk about it with friends that used their hands. Friends that that women can only achieve sexual fulfill- every new person you meet, but please talk used electric toothbrushes, back massagers ment through men, not themselves. about it with your friends. Demystify it. and shower heads. Friends who had tried but In addition to being heteronormative, couldn’t orgasm. Friends who watched porn, this dynamic gives men power over women in Due to the nature of this content, friends who read it and friends who didn’t. one of the most intimate ways two people can The Roar has decided to publish this While it is important for us to have had connect. How can we expect to achieve full article as an anonymous submission this conversation, it shouldn’t have taken so equality between men and women when their to protect the student’s privacy.