Issue 843 University of Surrey Students' Union 12th May 1995
photo by Jeff Blackham Flies, beetles and litterbugs Down the Drain... ummer is here! Yes, it's that time this mess - you've probably al! seen him s temperatures soared on campus of year when the entire Student trudging around campus each day. He is last week record amounts of drink population of Surrey spends lazy only a mere mortal, not super-hoover- were consumed at Chancellors. A Shours griiling itself in the blazing man. combination of scorching hot sunshine. Chancellors is packed - well, A weather and end of exam celebrations the patio is, anyway. And at the end of the Another point to bear in mind: rats. All meant students bought over 6,000 pints. day (or night) you ali disappear off the food remnants and wrappings left la- Chancellors used up 6,099 floppy glasses elsewhere, and those lovely people who ying around attract these pesky little ro- and the three most popular drinks slave behind the bar al! day clear up the dents. Two years ago the Úniversity accounted for over half the total sales. mess you leave behind. Not the ideal end played host to numerous colonies of rats: Over five days, 2,774 pints of 1664 were to their day, but I suppose it goes with the they are under control at the moment but drank, 1,108.5 pints of Stella Artois, and job (although it wouldn't hurt you to just there is a limit to what can be done when 877.5 pints of Strongbow were drank. clear your empties back to the bar). students insisl on not clearing up the mess (Who was drinking the halves then? — they leave behind. lightweight!) But take, for example, that patch of grass 3000 kilos of refuse is shifted from the opposite the library, the equivalent to University each year, and a fair amount of Castaway, which was brought into Chan- Chancellors Patio for the bring-your-own that is litter. So, have a little consider- cellors for a trial period, was an instant hit. crowd. Yes, that's it, the one covered in ation. Use those ornamental containers All bottles were sold out before the end of wine bottles, beer cans, and other such mysteriously placed around campus (you the week. rubbish. CLEAR IT UP. Please. We ali may know them as litter bins), stick have to suffer your mess. in bottled beers, seen by some as more boltles and cans in the relevant recycling stylish than drinking a pint, Budweiser Litter on campus is a serious problem. bins (if you haven'l found them yet, was the clear favourite. Students drank There are certain spots that are worse than there' s one lot outside the hall restaurant), 299 bottles over the five day period com- others, such as the major routes across and then myself and many others can all pared to a paltry 13 for Labatt Ice. campus, the area around the union and stop moaning! Chancellors, and in the hot weather the All this went to make this week the bu- grassy patches also become adomed with Sue Norman siest week ever for Chancellors, and as so their own personal lay er of rubbish. There BF Features Editor many students enjoyed themselves, it is just one poor soul employed to clear up shows that the Union must be doing something right. 2 Bare Facts More Thefts on Strange But True. Campus This is a new column to Bare Facts and he University campus saw more thefts over the past week. Last Thursday, a one that I hope will develop over the man was seen wandering around AD17. He ran away, dropping a wallet and Coming weeks to become a regulär fea- chequebook. He was chased until he escaped in a black BMW. The ture (if I can be bothered to write it). I registration number was taken, and Police are making enquiries. decided that BF was becoming far to T sober and lifeless, so in an attempt to Over the weekend, two wallets were stolen from students' rooms in Surrey and liven up the issues I present the Strange Battersea Courts. Apparently, die rooms were left unlocked, and the students were But True column. only away for a short while. This highlights the insecurity of these two particular courts, where the doors to the floors do not lock automatically. Tony Watling, head The aim is to bring to you the news that of University Security said "If people keep their doors locked it can help prevent this is not usually reported in the papers, but kind of event happening. Even if you are only going to the kitchen to mkke a drink, a is real and has occurred. This means you thief couid quite easily take your money and cards". He also pointed out the temptation will be able to read the stories the Sunday to keep doors wide open in the hot weather, but asked that students look their door if Sport or Sun did not print. All are ge- leaving the room. nuine news articles and have been re- ported in the press somewhere around the When asked about the locks on the corridor doors, Richard Paxton, Accommodation World. Manager said that they were hoping to instali new locks over the summer vacation. Ali Courts of Residence wouid have self-locking doors after this, which is hoped will cut down on the amount of goods and belongings stolen each year. The Yale-type • In December, U. S. Customs agents in locks would be fitted providing Buildings and Estates could find the manpower over Miami found 200 baby tarantulas, 300 the shortened break. thumb-sized frogs, and several sacks of tarantula eggs in luggage belonging Students are urged to be vigilant. Strangers wandering around corridor's should be to Venezuelan Manuel Frade. Agents challenged, if only with a simple 'Can I help you?'. If anyone sees something opened his luggage after they found 14 suspicious, they should cali security on 3333 (internai) or 0800 525790 (extemal). baby boa constrictors in bags tucked in his trouser legs. In January, customs Jonathan Bennett officials in Stockholm, Sweden, found Communications Officer 65 baby grass snakes concealed by a 42-year-old woman in her brassiere, and six lizards elsewhere in her blouse. • Warwick, New York, judge Daniel Car Park Permits 1995/1996 Offsite Coleman imposed a light sentence ona man in December for a speeding ticket Students because the man had brought his soiled underpants to court to lend credence to Only Students living offsite outside of the restricted zone, will be permitted to his claim that he had needed to rush purchase parking permits. These will be on sale in the Lecture Theatre Upper home in order to deal with his diar- Concourse from 1000 to 1400 hours Monday 4th September to Thursday 7th rhoea. However, Coleman said he September, 1995. feared there was a danger if people Monday will be for those whose sumame begins with the letters A-H, Tuesday learned about the successful defence: ( J-M, Wednesday M-Z and Thursday for those who cannot make the other day. "Everybody," said the judge, "will start walking into court with soiled drawers." To be eligible apart from living outside the restricted zone, you must have registered your address with the Accommodation office, and bring proof of • Testifying at her murder trial in No- ownership of the vehicle when purchasing the permit. vember, Monique Mullen said she en- dured her abusive three-year marriage Anyone not eligible to purchase a permit will not be dealt with during this to Kenneth Mullen despite his having time, they must obtain a perking appeals form from Security and Submit it struck her, choked her, attacked her, duly completed to the Chief Security Officer. They will not be permitted to stalked her, and threatened to shoot park in University car parks pending the result of the appeal. her. However, in March 1994, she stabbed him to death with a butcher Copies of the list of roads included in the exclusion zone are on display at the knife because he threatened to kill the House Officers desk in the Union Building. family dachshund! A Watling • In December in Florida, spumed and Chief Security Officer distraught lover Edward Hand, 33, confronted his girlfriend and her hus- band, stuck a gun to his own chin, and fired. The bullet glanced off a bone in Dyslexia Helpline Hand's face, hit the husband, and killed him. Hand survived. In Are you worried about your spelling, reading or handwriting? January, police said they were satisfied Perhaps you know you have dyslexia and would like some ideas Hand had not intended to harm the on how to cope better. If you would like to talk to someone with husband and thus filed only gun-use experience of dyslexia, ring x4949 between 3- 4pm on charges against him. Wednesdays, Week 4, Week 5 and Week 6. • (Continued Over the Page...) 12th May 1995 3 Strange But True Cheesy Quavers Cont... • Among the weapons reportedly used G'day recently in robberies: a spray bottle of Cor, being a student, eh? A life of danger, thrills, chills, spills and rabid toilet cleaner, pointed at a shopkeeper excitement. Daily meetings with death and torture. Well, Torture in the sense in Ontario, in December; a manhole of exams—just had the results of ray first; not a pretty sight, mascara all over cover, brandished by a street mugger my pillow — and Death in the sense of sport and recreation. Now, before my who made off with $75 from a man in regular reader (yes, that boy at the back...etc.) complains that battles wiüi the Dark Chicago in February and a golf ball, Forces aren't a regular recreational occurrence on this campus, may I say one thing — thrown by one of three unidentified Real Men Don't Use ABT's. youths at a bicyclist, who fell off and was robbed of $75. For those of you not in with the in-crowd, who don't go where the in-crowd goes, ABT's are types of rollerblades. Now, rollerblades aren't namby-pamby cheap roller- • Recent thieves with unusual needs in- skates but implements of torture only for those who are verging on being distinctly clude - Two men accused of stealing cool, for reasons that will become clearer. Normally I wouldn't be interested in five hedgehogs from a pet store in anything of a physical nature that might hurt me — RSI from keyboard-thumping is January; two men tried to steal a still- about my hmit—but Angier Biddle Duke has changed my views on this. Additionally, hot barbecue grill at a county prob- I desperately seek coolness. ation office picnic; a 43 year old man was charged with digging up and tak- Angie died a fortnight ago. He was an heir to the vast American Tobacco Company ing 1,500 Venus's-flytrap plants; a 42 fortune, he was an aide to presidents Kennedy and Johnson and had a distinguished year old man was charged with steal- career as diplomatic ambassador to four countries. Not, one might think, a repre- ing six slabs of the pavement and a sentative example of a life of thrills, chills and bellyaches. But good old Angie, 79, serial doorbell thief hit houses in New died WITH HIS BLADES ON. Way to go! (as I believe the Americans say). It seems Jersey, that the road he was blading on was unusually rough and he toppled into the path of an oncoming car. 'But,' I hear you cry, 'surely he could have heard the car and taken • A pilot and his passenger were arrested precautionary steps?'. Apparently not. He died with his walkman strapped on, blaring in December when the pilot, flying a out his favourite music. Angie is but one example of a vast population (especially in small plane running amphetamines, America) that considers anyüiing new to be brilliant, especially if its cheap. Roller- got confused and missed his intended blading is a hell of a lot cheaper than joining a health gym and so, every sunny weekend, night-time landing at a small airstrip. New York bladers encircle Central Park, making the M25 on a Friday evening look Instead, he landed at the nearby Air deserted by comparison. But, because it's so inexpensive and so popular, it is now Force Base. suffering an age-old dilemma: sense versus style, hips versus hip. In the same way that • A 34-year-old man somehow con- Naf-Naf clothing often says something about the wearer. vinced a 19-year-old Central Bible College student to submit to a gy- The trade off between safety and social acceptance determines how much protective naecological exam in his motel room kit to wear. Since the sudden meeting of a l^dy travelling at 30mph and an asphalt so she could be cleared for a "scholar- surface is unlikely to be happy, since America's Consumer Product Safety Com- ship" offer, prosecutors said that the mission reckons the nation's emergency rooms will treat upwards of 80,000 blading man's only crime apparently was a injuries this year, and since New York hospital staff reportedly call in-line skates misdemeanour deceptive business Donorblades, you might think it sensible to wear flill body armour. Not our Angie. practice. Angie, as he did most of his life, plumped for style and eschewed gloves, shin pads, fluorescent helmet and so on. He also shunned ABT's. Two types of blade, you see — • In December, two avid Beethoven fans one with Active Brake Technology (in-built brakes, clever eh?) and one without. As acquired a four-inch- long lock of the one would expect, ABT's are deeply uncool and strictly for dweeb bladers, as is composer's hair for $7,3()0 at a Sothe- protective clothing of any kind. Real Men Don't Use ABT's and Real Men Don't Use by's auction in London and plan to Padding. And, apparently. Real Men blade backwards down Fifth Avenue for fun. have it tested to confirm historical sus- Which forces me to re-assess my opinion of Americans. That the majority are three picions that the composer had African sausages short of a barbie is beyond doubt; but maybe they've got more guts than we blood and had syphilis. The hair al- normäly credit them for. legedly was snipped by Beethoven's father in 1827. So, next time you see those guys blading round campus, standing out like dog's balls • People are gambling so much money on a budgie, and you think, 'what trendy twerps', think again. They daily take their on the National Lottery that they are health in their hands. They're probably more adventurous than you dare think about neglecting other financial obligations. — makes taking exams look infinitely safer by comparison. Like what? Spending on undertakers Oh yes, and just to piss off the 'Britain Is Best' Conservatives — in-line blades were has dropped 11.1% since the lottery invented in Britain in the early 19th century. Typical that, once again, it was someone began. else that made such a fortune out of them, eh? • In October, organisers of a pop music Eau reservoir concert at Hong Kong Stadium an- nounced that they had reached an ac- Lee Hopkins commodation with nearby residents who fear the loud noise. Organisers will give out 17,500 pairs of gloves for Instrumentalists - WHERE ARE YOU? the audience to wear so that when they enthusiastically applaud their idols, The Wind Band is giving a concert in week 5 and they are a little short of players. So, they won't make very much noise. if you play an instrument, be it woodwind, brass, or percussion, c'mon, give 'em a hand. Jeff Blackham Rehearsals are Wednesday nights, 6:45pm, in Studio 1 (that's in the PATS building). Most of the news items are American, so if you have any cuttings from the British Phil Singleton press please pass them onto me through the BF box or via e-mail at: [email protected]. 4 Bare Facts STEP BACK IN The Fairer Side TIME his week I actually had a request as to the subject of my column. That makes me sound like some sort of hospital radio station! However I do think my 1 YEAR AGO opinion as to why females choose not to join Crew may prove offensive, I Scrambled Eggs in London That Tgues s I am a little biased! momentous occasion when 45,000 students took London by storm. The This week I have decided to write about Formula One motor racing. I like to follow eggs were aimed at the Labour MP the grand prix season and marvel at the skill and speed of the drivers. Whilst watching and also at NUS Président Elect, Jim the race at Imola two Sundays ago I suddenly realised that there were no women Murphy. drivers in formula one. Why should women not be formula one drivers?. I tumed to many friends for NUS Conférence Does this ring a suggestions and they came up with some varied and delightful (?) reasons. bell? Yup, it was in the news then too! Comments relating to women's ability to drive were made very frequently and Personals "Trev's relationship with completely unfounded. Young women have fewer road accidents than young men the University Cormorant is strictly according to a lecture I attended on accidents. platonic." One reason could be that women cannot achieve the same levels of physical fitness, 5 YEARS AGO as men, that are required to be able to complete a grand prix. I disagree because women The Moming After The landlord of are able to compete on the same level as men in other sports (e.g. Tennis) which require The Ram and Famcombe local resi- high levels of physical fitness. dents were up in arms about student Something I didn't realise is the expense of getting to be a formula one driver. You vandalism and drunken rowdiness have to be pretty well off or find sponsorship to start out in the lower class races. A Wake Up and Smell the Cat- lot of money is required to pay for cars etc. It may be that the sponsorship selectors food!!!! "Apathy" again, this time are guilty of discrimination in that they won't sponsor women drivers. These are just conceming tiie GM. An over-exube- my own thoughts not fact! ! ! rant overseas student rep. performing I think the reason that there are no women formula one drivers comes down to why a song and dance relegated issues on people become formula one drivers. I think it comes from a childish desire for speed, abortion to the last 10 minutes of the power and to cheat death. These are typical values encouraged by 'Boys Toys' of meeting. years gene by. These boys have now grown into the drivers of today. This would mean tfiat women drivers will only begin to become popular in 10-15 years time. This Personals Well, there weren't any! is when the enlightened girls of today, who did not experience role discrimination in Tliat's right, Bare Facts was actually their play (e.g. Boys play with cars, girls play with dolls), grow old enough to drive. published for one week without any personals... Antonia 10 YEARS AGO Lower Bar Gas Chamber An anti- apartheid disco was interrupted by Speculative Applications someone letting off CS gas in the bar. Overnight Queue Becomes Disco am often asked the question 'Ts it really worth writing speculatively to an Students waiting overnight for ac- employer, surely they'd advertise the job if they wanted someone badly enough?" commodation appointments sponta- There is a lot of truth in this, and that's why it's so important to keep a watchful neously produced their own disco to Ieye on advertised vacancies. But there are stili some very good reasons for writing pass the time! out of the blue. First of ali, it can be pretty expensive to advertise a job and employers wouldn't waste their money if they had sufficient speculative applications sitting on Personals Concrete bollard; Tm so their desks. Secondly, it really works, as 10% of University of Surrey graduates found mad to wrap myself around you, l've last year. just got to find a Lane that goes straight into you. Love Dented Es- So what's the accepted procedure for writing on spec? Most people send a curriculum cort.XXX vitae, which l've talked about in Bare Facts recently, and a covering letter. The letter would typically have 4 paragraphs - who you are, why you're writing, what particular Rifle Club skills and experience you have to offer and a closing paragraph to say how much you'd value having an opportunity to discuss your application with them. We have an One of the smaller sports clubs, the rifle example in the Careers Service if you would like to come in and pick up a copy. club, made it's mark on the national sports scene last weekend, when one of You may, of course, feel a bit stuck in trying to decide who to apply to. If that is the its members. Sue Norman, took part in case, you'd probably find it helpful to use some of the employer directories we carry. the English Smallbore Ladies' Cham- You could use something like Prospects '95 to identify ail the major employers of pionships. As the name suggests, this is graduates or you could use a directory like KOMPASS to locate ali the employers one of the more important compétitions who operate in very specialist areas such as nuclear instrumentation manufacturers or in the world of shooting, and is often used producers of silicone sealants. We also have local employer lists for most parts of the as the first round of team sélections for country. The more you move off the beaten track, by the way, the greater your chances both the Olympic and Commonwealth of unearthing a vacancy which no-one else has found. Cames. So I would encourage you to try writing speculatively. You might end up with piles Sue completed the 60-shot compétition of rejection letters or even no responses at aJI, but then you might just discover a nugget with a score of 572 (out of 600), the of a job which gets your career off to a brilliant start. compétition being won on 583. A re- RussQark spectful score, although not good enough Careers Service to daim a medal, and one that will ensure that other competitors stay on their guard in the future! 12th May 1995 5 VE Day - A Day To Remember Once upon a tíme, many years ago, there was a big nasty man The result of all this stuff is that Europe is what you see today who looked like Charlie Chaplin. This man was not actually a — ft«edom of speech, income taxes, etc. Monday was the particularly awful person, but he had a few ideas about the fiftieth anniversary of the déclaration of peace in Europe-VE world which were somewhat unusual. Like for instance the day. There were huge celebrations going on, and I think for total annihilation of Jews and the total 'cleansing' of the many people, particularly the young ones like us, the meaning German race. Which was slighlly odd, since he wasn't actually may have been obscured. German, as such. It just happened that by a sequence of events far too interesting to publish here, he ended up where he did The point is that, although it was mainly a célébration of when he did. After having her economy shattered by the loss winning etc, the underlying meaning was one of remembrance. of the First World War followed by the stock-market crash of Did you observe the Two Minute Silence? I did, as did all of 1929, Germany needed a strong leader. So along came this my friends, but there were a lot of people who didn't. l'm short, moustached Austrian with an effective oratorical style. disgusted — I mean, we're talking about MILLIONS of people dying, many of them serving men and women who were Don't get me wrong; I'm no expert on history, and I don't want prepared to die for their cause. But there was also the Holo- to rüffle any European feathers. But if you tiy really hard, and caust, and the millions and millions of innocent victims. look past the tyrannical manner, oratorical bluster, and termi- nal Syphilis (yes, I didn't know that until this week either...) there is still just a man. We are not, however, supposed to say "War is terrible, it'll never happen again" because that's bollocks. Of course it will, Because of his décisions and position, he precipitated what is because it is in the nature of humans to attempt self destruction. without doubt the bloodiest war in the history of mankind. No, what I think the events of the early forties taught us to try and avoid waging war on women and children-let the soldiers For six years from 1939, war raged across Europe, tearing up do their job and fight the fight for us. And perhaps when you've the landscape, the cities, and the lives of those involved. TTien read this you will think about things as they might have been, we won and, not surprisingly, everyone in Britain was quite and of the countless lives that were wasted, and try not to make pleased-as were quite a few people who lived on the continent. their sacrifice an empty one. The day on which peace was fínally declared in Europe was called Victory in Europe, or VE-day for short, and was widely regarded as the end of the War. It wasn't quite; there was still Oh, and if you can spare the time next year, maybe you could some weeks of fighting left in Japan and the Far East, and not be quiet for a couple of minutes. until someone had the bright idea of testing a big, nuclear firecracker or two did the thing finally peter out. Paul Fumess
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rv l> !> iC" Jükeßo)cPfäyillst1n^ ^ ^ Main Unîôn froiTi Monday - Tickets £1.50 on the night 6 Bare Facts Hairlines and Disabied Headiines Bill Review hose of you with amazingly long re you a "real" man? Well, you may not eat quiche but, according to a recent memories may remember an A SsurveyI , you are as much obsessed with your hair as the female of the species. article featured in Bare Facts last Seems some of you are going to such lengths as to check the position of each term concerning the plight of Al air using the microwave door as a mirror (Dave, you admitted it yourself!). Tstudents with disabilities and the Male habits apparently die hard, and hair care secrets are among the most personal discrimination they face. The matters where men are concemed. However, this intensely private subject is to remain Government was then in the process of obscured no more, as men are Coming out with the problems specific to this less reading a Disabilities Discrimination Bill, intelligent sex. and the question was raised as to why this took into account the conditions of the The old fashioned hair care (once a year to the barber's and don't wash until the grease workplace while ignoring the tums black) is gone and in its place is a more-than-regular regime. Hair washing is no environment of higher or further longer only for wimps. Men now wash their hair even more than women and, education . This was especially according to a recent survey performed by Proctor & Gamble - manufacturers of the significant as part of the Bill was infamous Pantene products and they have a tendency towards nocturnal grooming - concerned with educating the general must be due to their other nocturnal habits! public as to the wide range of a problems faced by disabied people. Split ends and grey hairs affect ali humans during their life span (please refer to Manoj for a detailed description), but thinning hair seems to be mainly a male predicament. Weil, NEWS UPDATE! It seems as if the Let's face it, none of you are getting any younger, but growing hair into a ponytail or Government has actually come to its combing strands across and gluing them in place is not going to reverse the aging senses, as a review of arrangement for process. Samson and Delilah complex is no excuse for this type of antisocial beha- students with disabilities in further and viour. higher education is currently being ar- ranged. The review will include: The cut and versatility of a man's hair has suddenly become more important Hair Styling is no longer "women's territory" either. But are you putting your masculinity • ways of improving facilities for dis- at risk by using styling products? Weil if you are, bring out the curling tongs. The abied students, vanity and secrecy of the so called "dominant sex" is becoming infantile. The fact that • ways of increasing the awareness of there is only one Stretch of chromosome different between the two and that surely staff to the needs of such students, doesn't affect the human brain, or does it? • whether increased funding incentives Sophie Rocks could be given to encourage Colleges to enrol students with disabilities, • whether more publicity is needed con- ceming the availability of the Disabied Students' AUowances, • the work of "Skill", the National Bureau of Students with DisabiHties, • whether the Charters for Further and Higher Education can be improved in respect to availability of information for disabied students. The Minister for Further and Higher Education, Tim Boswell, said, "This re- view buiids on the achievements of Col- leges, universities and the funding councils in increasing provision for stu- dents with disabilities in further and higher education." Weil, we shall see. Will all this talk, and even some ripples of officiai movement in govemment circles, actually lead to anything? The review is exactly that: a review. A look at current situations and the hypothetical ways they could be im- proved. Okay, they have to start some- where, but let's see a little less talk and a bit more progress. After ali, I see that our own campus's disabied flats remain in Cathedral Court, at the top of a steep slope. A few changes definitely wouldn't go amiss there.
Sue Norman BF Features Editor 12th May 1995 7 Cleaning Up Surrey he tackling of environmental issues with a Editorial cross-disciplinary approach was the name of the game at the University's Centre for Environmental Strategy ummer is the time for ftm and games (well, as soon as T as it canvassed the local business community at its open exams are over), and the party invitations are flooding in. day. And speaking of games, watching the Snooker championships on the box made me think. (about time The centre is one of the country's leading research groups on Ssomehting did, you may say). If a physicist were to try to clean technology which endeavours to reconcile the methods of calculate the trajectory of snooker balls in order to find out how industriai manufacture (which are commercially viable) and the hard to hit it, where to hit it, to make all the balls end up where area of environmental protection. The advice from the centre you want them, it would take a considérable amount of time. aims to reduce the impact on the enviroment that products have Remember, it's not just a case of potting balls. You have to set by producing a solution taking info account human behaviour, yourself up for the next shot, getting the eue ball in a good economy and public understanding of science. With these factors position. Often just the odd inch will make a différence as to considered the suggested solution should be a workable com- whether a shot is playable or not. promise. Now consider this: to do Üie calculations scientifically would Research at the centre has the underlying concept of Life Cycle take someone with a Ph.D ages. These guys, some of them with Assessment (LCA). This looks at the total impact on the enviro- less than half a dozen GCSE's, can do it just by looking at the ment of any product or service from its inception, through its balls. "Riis really is a testament to the power of the human brain, distribution, use and re-use to its disposai giving a much fuller and also shows üiat just because you don' t have Degrees ' tili next picture of the product. This view could challenge the current Wednesday, you can't be good at something. opinion on "green"issues showing, for example, that it may be less damaging to reuse or incinerate certain products rather than The différence is, researchers in University labs are trying to recycle. discover things for the good of Humanity, or so the theory goes. These snooker players just eam pots of cash. Is there any way Düring the open day a présentation was also made on the unique this special skill that snooker players have can be hamessed for Doctor of Engineering course running at the centre. It is the first the benefit of society? What possible application is there of the in the country to train environmental engineers in social sciences ability to do differential calculus visually? (e.g. psychology and risk communication), The students are sponsoréd by industry and under take their research in a real life While you're pondering that, just consider the prize money rather than hypothetical situation. Any applications from stu- involved, and where it comes from - Tobacco companies. So dents (or sponsors) are welcome by the centre. while you're getting Pulmonary Carcenoma, these guys are getting rieh. Keep smokin' them fags, folks! Sophie Rocks Jonathan Bennett Communications OfHcer
^te^ ¿H' et- Graduation Room Bookings ß^iH- «f^U' At€t4t4i(- €iKcC (ett y^éeà^? Rooms are available for graduates and their guests for ifM' tAiH^ (^^ec eettc ententeUH' ^¡ed^Zk the nights of Thursday 6th and Friday 7th July. THEN mm.... Room Bookings are limited to 3 per person and an overalì limit of300, TH Bookings will be taken on Ld WEDNESDAY 17th May from lOam in the Lower Concourse of TAlfNTCûN' the Lecture Theatre Block and will be on a first-come, first-served basis. Saturday27th May 1995 /^t teoAt 9HC mcméen. ^ t^wfi
The deadline for submissions is Noon on the Tuesday Dear Mr Simon Besley, preceding publication. Thank you for my first piece of fan mail, it will now of course be framed and hung in the kitchen so that I can boast indulgently to all my friends and family about it. All submissions must have a name and Union card number. Frankly, I find your letter a little insulting and particularly pompous, my as you put 'outspoken music reviews' I'm afraid, have to be just a little egocentric, l^ause after Submission is no guarantee all they are my opinions, they are what I think of the records that I get sent, you don't of publication. have to pay any attention to them, and personally I am glad they piss yoii off. If they reflect no part of the current music scene then go and read the terribly well-informed Sunday Times or that nice Q magazine, because they are of coui^e, non-egowanktas- tic, and brilliantly written aren't they. When I review a record, I have to explain what I like/don't like about it, if a singer's voice annoys me then I say so, if it makes me all wet and squidgy below then I'll shall also say so. As for Blur, I don't condemn their success nor do I any band, but I must ask the question are they really worthy of 4 awards, I mean come on was 'Parklife' really the best single of last year, I don't think so, not because like you I don't particularly like the band but because there was several better records out last year that could have won that particular award. As for my supposed and I quote correctly, 'infantile ramblings'. My God I apologise sincerely for insulting your music tastes and I have had my favourite teddy squashed Information and under a truck, for doing so. Personally, I think phrases such as 'pile of poo' or 'toss on toast' or from now on 'Simon Besley', sum up crap records better than other long Helpline service words such as ooooh, 'egocentric' and 'self-indulgent'. I find the view that I copy 'huge chunks of blurb' from the NME and Melody Maker, 8pm - 8am quite laughable, I don't actually read Melody Maker, and NME comes out on a Wednesday and Musicmania is written and layed up by Tuesday afternoon, usually. I get sent press releases just like NME, Melody Maker, Smash Hits etc. Are we to Phone ext. 4949 assumed therefore that if one paper carries the same story as another then they are also copying??? Between Wey and Finally, I can do nothing about the level of supposed obscurity of the bands, all the Wandle in Surrey Court records that are sent to me come from promotional companies, you could write to them if it's not good enough, but are they really obscure recently I have reviewed new releases from amongst others, Oasis (who?), Radiohead (what?), Sleeper (que?), Carter USM (never 'eard of 'im?). Tricky (nah you've lost me). Bomb The Bass (ummm), Leftfield (errr..) etcetera, etbloodycetera. However, just for you I have picked some dodgy 'obscure' bands to review this week, lovey. Pon't forget to If you want to pay for me to go on holiday then I would gladly go, but until then tough titty. Whoops must stop being infantile. Steeve French. RECYCLE
Watch the Bare Facts Paper bins in the Rugby World Cup - Live Union and all On the Big Screen in the Union court receptions. Beer Promotions and Special Offers during the Games WEEK ENDING FRIDAY 19TH MAY 1995 Friday 12th Saturday 13th l-f O E D 0\X/ISI 9-2 l\/l£iin Locing« Summer DmPt 2 £1 on t^ie cfoor Ui bs 1 li Lower Bar 9-2 K£ir«iol
OFU Film OFU Film 'Interview witin tlie Vampire' 'Interview with tfie Vampire' 8pm LTG 8pm LTG
Tuesday 16th Wednesday 17th LOTS OF CHEAP BEER!!! Folk Club the second in the series of cheap beer nights 8-1 Ipm Lower Bar on WEDNESDAYS SEE POSTERS AROUIMD CAMPUS FOR DETAILS!! Thursday 18th Friday 19th FQAS & African Caribbean present THE SUMMER CHILLER' HOEDOWN MAIN LOUNGE 9-2. £1.50 9-2 Main Union Duke of Edinburgh Society £1 on tiie door 9-2 LOWER BAR FORTHCOMINO EVENTS Sunday 2Ist May FREE BANDS - Finitribe & Optic Eye 25-29th May FREE FESTIVAL 1995 Saturday 2nd June UOS Club Summer Dreams Pt 3 Try our new products Tooheys Export 90p per can Castatfay £1 per bottle 1727 Cider (8.3 %) £1 per bottle Labbat's Ice £1.50 per bottle Stella Artois £1.6Lf0\ peK«r« pint Fullers London Pride £1.65
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fon^ede^tt^ Beef Cuny Pizza Si Chi Con Carne Pizza small medium large Live in the mài £2.00 £4.00 £6.00 Coverage begins at 12 noon UOVI open from 5 p.m. Bar and PIZZA + open Monday to Friday from 12 noon to 5 p.m. PHONE EXTENSION 3444 12th May 1995 11
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A full list of Honorary Members can be found in the Nelson Mandela Committee Room 10 Bare Facts SINGLES REVIEWS SINGLE OF THE WEEK Début single from yet another young Manchester band with an ambitious sound and a growing taack for a killer chonis. THE VERVE:This Is Music (Hut) Puressence look set to rely heavily on the talents of their vocalist who put the band way above so many of the other younger he Verve bounce triumphantly back from bands around at the moment. His voice is strong, and at the same Wigan with a new songbook, a new sense of time unique. A mixture of lan Curtis crossed with Alison adventure and a new style of making Moyet. bhndìngiy great music. "This Is Music' is the T 'I Suppose' is a blend of sub Joy Division guitars with a product of a long old tour with Oasis, it has refreshed the band and inspired them to wake up to the sound of Stone Roses beat, that grows on you more everytime you listen the moment. The Verve have copied Oasis' style so to it, one of the bands of next year, possibly even this year, if blatantly d:jat you have to admire their guts, it almost 'Puppet On A String' had guitars on it, it would probably sound worked, one like this. problem stands in their way. PULPrCo It's better than Oasis, right m m o n down to the "I People (Is- stand acccuuussssed" land) Ijmc where the Pulp spent 15 singer easily years or so in the out stresses 'indie' wilder-( Liam, one of ness before a the singles of band called the year so far, Suede catapulted and naturally them to stffltJom, eams a Buclú and now every- Fizz for it's wherewelookwe trouble. get Jarvis Bleed- ing Cocker, I mean he's all over the place, he was on This Moming the other day. The SINGLE Big Breakfast yesterday, he'll OF ANY PVLP: Common People Qbe presenting Grandstand next in some crappy old suit that my rji dad wouldn't be seen dead in. 'Common People' is yer average run of the mill Pulp single, it HERWEEK sounds exactly like 'Babies' and remembers to be ¿tsch in all the right places. It will seil by the bucketload and Pulp are set JESUS AND MARY CHAIN:I Hate Rock to be massive. It's good but so so so average, 'Underwear' by 'N' RoU (Bianco Y Negro) the way is cool, and slightly better, so for displaying such Yup, they're back too, and guess what, they're stili angry, stili obvious averageness they can and probably would be happy can' t play their guitars, and are stili bloody great with it. 'I Hate with a Brotherhood of Man. Rock 'N' Roir is one of the most angry songs they've ever written, it rages about how they don't like the BBC, üiey don't McALMONT & BUTLER: Yes (Hut) like MTV, and how they just shit on our souls. l'm sort of glad First reiease from this new partnership of ex-Thieves blokie that I was sent the C .D because if it was on viny 1 it would sound David McAImont and ex-Suede bod Bemie Butler and with any like my needle had received a damn good kiclang, unlistenably luck it ^ be the last. 'Yes' ranks a throbbing ten out ten on magnificent. Somewhere between Bucks Fizz and Sandie Shaw the boring charts, McAImont warbles on in a radio friendly if you can stomach that idea. fashion and Butler grinds away in the background unconvinc- ingly and seems destined to end up as a talented session musi- PURESSENCE:I Suppose (Island) cian. More 'No thanks, than Yes'. A tad disappointing really from a partnership that did promise something special. A bit like Love City Groove only that stands more chance of success. THE MARKING SCHEME FAITH NO MORE:Ricochet (Slash) 5 - Bucks Fizz Second single from the shockingly dreadful 'King For A Day' 4 - Sandie Shaw album, however, it one of the more conventional parts of the album, one of the few songs which doesn't suggest that Patton 3 - Brotherhood Of Man needs serious medicai attention. 'Ricochet' demonsírates that they can still write good old rock songs. After 'Ricochet' comes something eise completely différent, two abnormally great 2 - Love City Groove B-Sides, firstly 'I Wanna Fuck Myself which is Offspring pissing around in your garage, mucking around with effect I - Michael Ball pedáis, to an ear splintering level, next comes 'Spainish Eyes' which sees Patton crooning away like Frank Sinatra in a bril- Anything Else is Sonia liantly tacky, cHched way, and therefore eams them a Sandie Shaw. 12th May 1995 11 'Breathless' is a mildly poppy guitar based number that wants SCHTUM:New Year Dawning (Blue to be Echobelly or even Salad but fails to be either instead tums River) out to be nearer The Darling Buds than anything else. Another Irelands next big thing apparently, Schtum look set to follow on record destined for the 99p shelf in Our Pnce it seems, it's not helped along by the crappy, pointless remixes, a couple of new from Ash and perhaps Therapy? and are determined to be just songs would have gone down much better. Nice because you as loud, paranoid and good as the rest.'New Year Dawning' is can instantly forget it. Like Love City Groove will do when they a compassionate debut about arguing presumbly, littered with come an impressive 14th behind 'La Luna Ist Spastika' by the the odd bit of crunchy guitar noise, coupled with a rambling, Bosnian-Herzegovinia effort. wayward singer. 'New Year Dawning' is one of songs that wants to go places and you're sitting there Willing it to do it but it doesn't. File under promising but must try harder. They gain a Brotherhood of Man DOI-OING:Airport (Open) for a gallant effort. Fresh from the Ministry of Sound's successful nightclub's comes this E.P, which allows us mortals who don't go to Ministry Of Sound to hear what is currently the tune of the moment in the underground scene. Doi-oing have produced a FUTURE SOUND OF LONDON:Far Out strictly garage sound which provides a level for over wired heads Son Of Lung And The Ramblings Of A to cool off. Madman (Virgin) Doi-oing have a track record for producing manipulative and When FSOL's new album is released later in the year it is set to sonic styles of music that range from the slow and meandering change the face of music technology as we know it. FSOL' s'Far to the fast, surreal and totally mindfiicking. ' Airport' is a mix of Out Son Of Lung' is a jazzy affair, all meandering instruments, digitai sophistication and sensory confusion, which sounds like a hypnotic piano and trancey loops with the odd techno fusion the sort of music that Plato would make if he was on acid whilst bunged in for good measure. visiting Venus, the sort of thing that Sandie Shaw would take her shoes off for. The video that accompanies this singles has to be watched after 60 or 70 beers or faiiing that some good old hallucinogens will There Mr Besley is that intelligent enough for you?? do, then you might just know what the bloody hell they're on about, when you réalise you'll fall into a blissfully peaceful sleep with several colourful dreams combining into one mass adven- HOOKIAN MINDZiFreshmess (Flag- ture on another plane, or something similar, and for serious meddling with my brain they can have a mark somewhere bearer) between Sandie and Brotherhood of Man. More releases ftom the new, innovative label that is Flagbearer, this label promises only to release seriously good music, and it keeps its promise quite admirably. Hookian Mindz blends hip hop and live instruments and adds a couple of remixes to give BANG BANG MACfflNE:Breathless (Ul- that complete live feeling. First up is the Red Snapper mix which timate) emphasizes the Hip Hop nature of the tune it is however, out classed by the Bandulu mix which removes ali traces of a tune If Oasis top the musical premiership at the moment then Bang and makes another tune altogether, leaving this somewhere Bang Machine are where you would find Stafford Rangers, between Sandie and The Brotherhood. forever impressing a few hundred week in week out with their freeflowing talent but convincing no bugger what so ever. ALBUM REVIEWS Second album from this folky trio, who are as we speak climbing ALBUM OF THE WEEK the American charts to success. The selling point of Suddenly DELICATESSEN:Skin Touching Water Tammy ! is that they make a point out of saying that they have no electric guitars. '(we get there..)' is a mellow blend of piano, (Starfish) light drums and acoustic guitars, put together with a pleasant set ebut album from this moody bunch of Leicster of vocals similar to those of Tori Amos or Delores from The gonnabes, and quite a splendidly stränge one it is at Cranberries. If you are a fan of this kind of music then you'll no Üiat. Delicatessen have this stränge fixation with death, doubt enjoy this..For being nice and gentle and aimed well over my infantile head it receives a Brotherhood Of Man. Dpain and suffering. The majority of the songs cry out for a sharp injection of happy juice butat the same time manage to win you over. Songs like 'You CutMy Throat, V\\ Cut Yours' echoes of JAMC PAUL OAKENFOLD:A Voyage Into circa 'Psychocandy' while others such as 'Chomsky' and 'Clas- Trance (Dragonfly) sic Adventure' remind you of The Boo Radleys' 'Giant Steps'. It's a seductive and scary sound that needs more than one listen A ninety minute musical marathon that quite correctly takes you to be fully explored to find out just how deep this band mean to through trance music, with just one problem, there is only one go. At times you can feel some sort of dark laughter echoing real track, it claims to have 12 but only one plays and that is around the album, but it' s a painful kind of laughter the type that ninety minutes long, so don't play it if you are intending to go used to scare Penelope Pitstop. 'Skin Touching Water' is sad, out. It is however, perfect for that party where loud, annoying sorry and utterly, utterly, stylish, a bit like Sandie Shaw. good, music is required. It is hard to pick a particular key moment, and unless you have a brilliant knowledge of the tracks being mixed you probably SUDDENLY TAMMY!:(we get there won't no where about it is on the C.D. You'll dance your socks when we do) (Warner Bros) off in the right sort of atmosphère, Sandie Shaw did obviously. Steeve French 14 Bare Facts ARTSROUND Wuthering Heights and Jane Eyre were bom. Yvonne Arnaud Theatre, Guildford Box Office: 01483 761144. Until 27 May: J B Priestiey's Dangerous Comer. A gripping and enthralling production directed by Keith Thorndike Theatre, Leatherhead Baxter, who stars along with Jean Boht, Gayle Hun- nicut, Susan Penhaligon and Christopher Timothy. Until-20 May: The Gentle Hook - a gripping thriller from Box Office: 01483 440000. Francis Durbridge. Stacey Harrison is acharming, sophisticated and highly successful career woman. Shortly after her return from a questionable trip abroad she's attacked by a stranger and Civic Hall, Guildford in the ensuing struggle kills him. From then on, it's down the Sunday 14 May: 7.30pm: Guildford Symphony Or- slippery slope for Stacey... chestra with yet another VE Day Celebration. Lash- Box Office: 01372 377677 ings more Elgar, Sullivan, Wood. etc.. etc. and. for all I know, free Spam fritters for all. Haven't we suffered On Campus enough? Sunday 14 May: PATS Studio One: Pianist Nikolai De- Friday 19 May: 7.45pm: Outrageous sharp-tongued midenko and the Medici String Quartet in Russian Encounters drag-queen Lily Savage brings her sexy new comedy featuring Beethoven Quartet in E minor, Op. 59/2 (Rasumov- show to Guildford, accompanied by "Page 3 stunna" sky), Schubert Quartet in A minor, No.l3, D804 (Rosamunde), (sic) Gayle Tuesday. The latter is, I am reliably in- Shostakovitch Piano Quintet in G minor, Op.57. (£8) formed, one of Britain's favourite topless models. Tuesday 16 May: 7.30pm: Hall: University of Alcacá Dance Something for all tastes, then. Group presents a vibrant and entertaining programme of Span- Box Office: 01483 444555 ish Dance. (£3.50) New Victoria Theatre, Woking Wednesday 17 May: 1.15pm: PATS Studio One: FREE Lunchtime Concert given by students from the University Until 13 May: The Rocky Horror Show: Richard Music Department. O'Brien does the Time Warp again. 16-20 May: The Brontes - Northern Ballet Theatre's Wednesday 17 May: 8pm: Lecture Theatre G: Arts Cinema presents Bandit Queen. Tickets (£2) must be bought IN AD- visually-stunning full-length ballet exploring the VANCE from the Union Trading Desk or Senate House Infor- extraordinary lives of the literary family. Internation- mation Office. Tickets are NOT available on the door. ally-renowned director and choreographer Gillian Lynne creates an emotional evocation of the tempes- Listings compiled by Andrew Wilcock, Arts Editor tuous, haunting Yorkshire landscape from wMch
OFU Garlic. Ist Annual USFC Open ave you bought your season ticket yet? No? Well, they're still available from ^e trading desk at £8, and with seven films still to go, they're an absolute 5 a-side T¡6^ament Hbargain ! This Sunday and Monday (8pm, LTG) we bring you Inter- view With A Vampire featuring Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise in £50 CASH. /INNERS possibly their least flattering roles yet. Following the death of his wife and child, Louis (Pitt) is given eternal life by the kind PRIZES Q 3est Team Name fangs of Lestat (Cruise) - but it's a life as a vampire. With blood curdlingly impressive special effects, it's not to be missed. Anybody stinking lecture theatre G out with garlic will be forcibly ejected, and please don't stake the projection- Date: Sund it May 1.00pm ist! Individual guest tickets are available for £2 in advance from the trading desk, or can be reserved with the House (da r RA Cup Final) Officer upto an hour before the film. attheVarsi ntre All Weather Pitch Arts Cinema goers are in for a treat with Bandit Queen this week (Weds 8pm, LTG). Tickets are £2 from trading Team Entry Fei ì desk in advance, or £2.25 if reserved an hour Enter at the USE desk ig the Union Foyer before the show- ing. Mon 15th May- Fri 19th May 12pm-2pm Andy or phone Tony cn)(230 ^
USFC 12th May 1995 15 ODEON, EPSOM ROAD Enquiries/Credit Card bookings: Guildford 578017. Advance Box Office open 2pm - 7pm. Student Discount available Mon-Thurs before 7pm (with NUS or ISIC card only). Friday 12 May for Seven Days Screen 1 : CIRCLE OF FRIENDS PULP FICTION (18) (15) Weds 17 May at 8.35 only Set in Ireland in the early 1950s, this is a surprisingly good Forget all the hype and hagiographie ramblings of adaptation of Maeve Binchy's novel. It follows three girlfriends people who should know better, and go and see this in the small village of Knockglen as they struggle to cope with second feature from a promising new director. Make growing up and, of course, boys. This gentle 'rites of passage' up your own mind whether Äis film deserves its tale is often quite touching and warm-hearted - especially as it reputation. comes from an Irish perspective rather than the usual American glib and shallow point of view. That said, it still rather overdoes die gorgeous Irish scenery and the Gaelic charm - probably for Screen 3 : THE MADNESS the benefits of the US market. Similarly, it also stars a American OF KING GEORGE (PG) actor (Chris O'Donnell, although he does put in a fair perfor- mance) but such compromises should not deter those who like Supposedly the story of the George III, the overbear- I nicely played, sentimental little dramas. ing monarch who, as we all know, ends up completely gaga, and whose preoccupations eventually focused Fri/Sun-Thurs 1.30 4.00 6.30 9.00 Sat 1.15 4.00 7.10 9.40 solely on sex and bodily functions. However, scrip- twriter Alan Bennett has cleverly worked in plenty of Screen 2 : MURIEL'S WEDDING snide observations on today's Royal Family. This is really not to be missed for Nigel Hawthorne's out- (15) standing performance as the deranged King, ably sup- ported by Helen Mirren as Queen Charlotte and Rupert A feelgood film from down under. Plump and frumpy Muriel Everett as the scheming Prince of Wales. An im- dreams of a wonderful white wedding but, living in a dead-end pressive directorial debut also for theatrical maestro town with a pretty naff family and some really bitchy 'friends', Nicholas Hytner. she finds comfort instead in Abba songs. Then, on a holiday she pays for by misappropriating some of her father's money, she Fri/Sun-Thurs 1.15 (not Sun) 3.40 6.05 8.35 Sat meets an old school friend and starts finding her confidence. 4.15 6.45 9.15 The two girls move to Sydney, but can Muriel survive in the big wide world, will she ever get her wedding, will she ever make something of her life? lliere are some genuinely funny mo- Screen 3: 101 ments to be had here along with a few (too many?) personal DALMATIONS (U) tragedies to add some dramatic moments. However, like all weddings, there's fun, excitement, hilarity, and even a few tears. Sat at 12.30 2.25 Sun at 1.55: Okay, it's not quite perfect - what weddings are? - but few will regret attending this ceremony. More pooches, except these are spotty and of the cartoon variety. Another example of classic Disney animation (mind you, what Fri/Sun-Thurs 1.10 (not Sun) 3.35 6.00 8.35 (not Weds) Sat Disney re-release hasn't been described as "classic" recently?), 2.45 5.10 7.35 10.00 which will no doubt be made available to buy on video just in time for Christmas. FAR FROM HOME (U) Screen 4 : LEGENDS OF THE Sat at 1.00 and Sun at 1.50 FALL (15) A kiddies adventure yam that proves that Lassie-type movies can still be made. A boy and his pooch are shipwrecked in Comforting and unashamedly old fashioned epic romance about remotest British Columbia and have to survive together. Ac- three brothers (Brad Pitt, Aiden Quinn and Henry Thomas) who tually better than it sounds. fall for the same woman. Loads of tears, tragedy and Mills and Boon sex scenes are interspersed with expertly choreographed WWI battle sequences and sweeping shots of the Montana countryside (actually Canada). Anthony Hopkins shares top billing as the family's anti-establishment patriarch, but is pol- itely pushed to one side by fiavour-of-üie-week Pitt as the brooding, free- spirited middle sibling. Conventional, mawkish Hollywood fodder. Fri/Sun-Thurs 2.00 5.15 8.15 Sat 12.45 3.40 6.35 9.30 PhU Pete 14 Bare Facts ^ Desperately seeking Martha (2nd Year). Last meet Chris in hospital. Please contact Bare Facts office URGENT: for details. Students required at Post Office Sorting Depot. ^ Dave, only because Neil managed it first!?! ^ Cari, thanks for the hug when I needed it. Wendy. Good rate of pay and shift work available. Contact ^ SEDUCTRESS - should we leave in any particular Ashley Catling on 01784 420700 for more details. order? Love the MATCHMAKER. ^ Crimewatch witnessed a "Grandpa" being dragged The Mortgage Corporation, to bed by the pocket at 2am last Friday. Love, the YOUTH! based in Woking, have a mrniber of vacancies for ^ Paul, don't forget will you! students interested in summer vacation work. Rate of ^ Alfie! Fantastic six months, maybe now Roland will pay £4.50 per hour. Applicants should have go(, eat that Mars bar. All love forever, DolLy xxx keyboard skills. Contact Katie Davis on 01483 ^ Tim, next time l'il bring a mop and bucket - remind 754431. me on Friday night!!! ^ Lee K, you know who you are, I can't wait for Friday night! ^ To Rich, sorry about dinner. l'Il let you know when URGENT: l've had more practise - Cookie Monster ^ Vie - let me ask you again, were you skinny-dipping High Society provide bar & waiting staff for func- tions and require staff for their many functions. Rate in the lake - sorry, babes couidn't resist it!!! of pay £4-£6 per hour. Contact Fergus on 0171 736 ^ Shelley - have a fab 'n' groovy birthday, love from 6357 your mate, Kate. ^ Tigger, glad you are back, I have missed you desper- ately, love fluffy kapok bunny! URGENT: ^ George...Stretcher service in the lower bar is payable next time! Hunters Lodge Pub in Knaphill require bar staff and kitchen help. Please call 01483 797240 if interested. Lost, 6 yoghurt pots from house 47, does anyone know any- thing about this? No, but does anyone know where my teatowel got to? Grosvenor House Hotel Amy, you're a babe, thanks for lending a friendly ear. You want to meet me down at the lake? require staff to clean rooms over the weekend. £55 for two days. Contact Alison Keigher on 0171 499 6363 for more Tony Ede, how many boxes of Kleenex have you used this information. year. Don't worry Lee {W2)! You'll get there (off?) eventually!!! Rachel - Happy Birthday. J Network Management Ltd Iqi - where is your apron this term? To Cory, No I don't think size 7 is too small! require factory line workers in Aldershot. Work could last until September. £3 per hour plus attendance bonus. Contact Mrs To Clara and Cuddles, Tuesday night was fun, let' s do it again Jan Symons on 01252 29911 for more information. sometimeü To all Ist year SoBS: 4 weeks to go Details on all of these Jobs and niaiiy more can To Rich the Raver, can you pull it off again? be found al the Help Desk on VVednesdays Amy, yes it did have a film in! I can't believe you couidn't between 1 lam and 3])m. remember!! Tickle Monster This should have gone in last week - HELP! The Job Shop has not researched the operational practices of To Amy, P.S. He was cute though! all employers advertising through the service. These vacancy To all at any meeting -1 pity you! details are presented as a service to students and it is the If anyone fmds Steve's jumper can they please return it responsibility of the applicants to ensure that employers and Sophie, I deleted it. Ha Ha. vacancies are bona fide.
Gilbert and Sullìvan Society AGM, Thursday, be elected, so it is particularly important for ALL FIRST YEAR Week4,7.30p.m.,TB19. MEMBERS to come along. Phat Vibes AGM, Wednesday, 24 May (Week 5) Chemical Engineering Society: elections for the Committee 6.15p.m. Main Union by the stage. will be held at the AGM in Lecture Theatre L at Ipm on Thursday 25th May. Nominations for election will dose on Judo Instniction Course, Every Wednesday this Thursday 18th May. term from 2p.m. Parachute Club AGM, Monday 15th May, 5pm, Nelson Man- Hiking Club EGM, Thursday 18 May 8p.m., Nelson dela Room. All members should attend. Mandela Room, All members to attend please! Archery Club AGM, Wednesday 31st May, TB21. American Football AGM, Venue: Nelson Mandela Room, Date: Tuesday 16 May, Time: 7.30 p.m. Note Ballroom Dancing Society: Due to unforseen circumstances time changed from last week! lessons have been temporarily suspended. Watch this column for further details. Creative Writìng Society AGM, 7pm Monday 5th June (week 7) Nelson Mandela Room D of E Expedition Training, Next Tuesday in LT B as usuai at 6.00pm sharp. Badminton Club AGM, Friday 19th May, 7-8pm, Nelson Mandela Room. Next year's committee will 12th May 1995 15 Campusport
Come And Enjoy Sun And Tennis! The Colour And Flamboyance Of Tennis And Strawberries! Spanisi! Dance! Improve Your Tennis! On TUESDAY 16TH MAY the Univer- sity of Alcala Spanish Dance Group is And.... Free Tennis!!! Staging a performance of Flamenco, folk dance and classical Spanish Dance THIS SUNDAY 14th MAY come along ALSO - Don't forget our "Drop In" tennis (Bolero School) at 7.30 p.m. in the Main to the Varsity Centre, Egerton Road be- coaching sessions on Tuesdays and Hall. (Cost: £3.50 students) There is also tween 11.00 a.m. and 4.00 p.m. for our Thursdays from 12.10 - 12.50 and 1.10 - a pre-performance talk (free to ticket FREE Tennis Open Day - try out the latest 1.50 p.m. For only £2 you can just tum up holders) on the origins of Spanish Dance Pro Kennex rackets, the ball machine and at the Varsity Centre for one of these at 6.30 p.m. in Lecture Theatre B. measure your service speed. Richard specially designed group sessions which Lewis, Director of Coaching for the will enable you to change and enjoy some Performance tickets available at the Cam- L.T.A. will be on hand to advise on your professional coaching in your lunch hour. pusport Centre or Sylvia Tyler at the In- game, and there will be lots of FREE formation Office, Senate House. coaching sessions. Come early to make AND a date for your diaries - on Thursday 29th June we are running "Tennis & And on WEDNESDAY 17TH MAY, sure you don't miss out. We are also running a BBQ, special offers on beers in Strawberries" between 10.00 a.m. and 6.00 - 7.30 p.m. there is a SPANISH 3.00 p.m. DANCE WORKSHOP in the Performing the Bar and a tennis clothes and equip- Aris Studio, where you can leam two folk ment sale. For any further détails on tennis courses dances and have lots of fun with this and classes phone Sarah Tyerman at the flamboyant dance style. Open to all and Varsity Centre on Extn: 9242. beginners are welcome. (Cost: £2.50 for students). CROQUET Tennis Tournament Sign Up for the Workshop at the Campus- port Centre Reception. WORKSHOP Interdepartmental, Society or Individuai A final reminder that the one off "leam entries are welcome for the Summer Term River Sports Day the elements of croquet" will be taking Tennis Tournament which will be taking place on the croquet lawn next Wednes- place on Wednesday 24th May, 2.00 - 1995 day 17TH MAY AT 1.00 P.M. with pro- 4.30 p.m. If you are interested (mixed fessional Tony Morzinski. Please sign up doubles) please contact your departmen- Just a date for your diary ! WEDNESDAY at the Campusport reception (£1.50 for tal sports représentative or apply directly 21ST JUNE, 2.00 p.m. - a date with the DOSH card holder/£2.00 other students). to the Campusport Centre by 20th May. river and sunshine. Watch this space! ! Staff are welcome as well. Entry fee per individuai is 50p! Fencing Club On the 29th Aprii, three of the fencing club attended a presiding course at Whit- Win Tickets for the gift School, Croydon. Actually, we are no longer able to cali ourselves présidents, we are now referees, ali part of the move London Monarchs to "modernise" sword-fighting(!?!?). Several locai clubs attended and we spent against Rhen Fire on the 29th May. the day altemating between fighting (and on the whole losing miserably) and presi- ding - oops, refereeing matches. Keith Smith, the organiser, was very good Worth £25!! in encouraging us and making us ali more aware of the rules. Q: - Name Surreys American Fottball team It was a very useful and enjoyable day, although the next day we woke up rather Answers in the BF Box by mid-day on Tuesday. stiff! The winner will be announced at the GM on Tuesday Louise C. Astbuiy, Press Officer. adn you must be there to claim your tickets. Bare Facts SPORT BUSA Cricket fter losing their first two games of the season largely due to exam commitments (against Kent & Brighton), a blazing moming welcomed Greenwich to the picturesque ASurrey turf. After some deliberation for the toss, the visitors elected to bat and a hard day in the field was expected. But it wasn't long before the skipper Dave "Cheery" Wilding led by example and quickly dismissed both openers soon reducing the visitors to a paltry 35 for 5 at lunch. However on returning to the crease Greenwich fought like a speared bull in a bullring to reach 100 for 5. It was time to turn to the 2 greatest predators in the team - Matty "The White Shark" and Dom "Panther" Osborne to recomplish in unison Surrey's dominance in the game. Greenwich began to freefall and with superb bowling by messers Ben Maxwell, Jan Smith and Darrun Dunlop wilted to a lonesome 135 all out. With the target set and rednecks being attended to, Surrey openers Matty (33) and Rapid Roger (32) created the foundations for a Surrey win. However there was still time for an infamous collapse (Dave & Hutch) before Darrun (15*) saw the home side win with 4 wickets in hand. Audio Visual Services Celebrations were in abudundance and the carnival atmosphere was torrential. The beer was flowing ^d so were the fines and are pleased io he associated with and he printing for unfortuanely so was the stomach lining of Austin Norris. With heavy heads and sleepy eyes Surrey headed to Sussex for our last BUSA match. The University of Surrey With another blistering day ahead the toss was won and the scene was set with Surrey at the crease. After a timid start Surrey found Students' Union themselves at 30 for 2 with a severe lack of belief in the umpires ability - Roger. This was further backed up by the dismissals of Rob Hutch, Dom Osborne and Andre MaJone. However useful "Bare Facts" contributions by Omar Iqbal (16), Damin (27), Raj (33) and Dave (31) saw Surrey achieve a moderate 186. A warrn welcome is extended to all University The target didn't seem enough on an easy paced wicket and this was confirmed further by some resolute batting which saw Sussex Staff & Students to fulfìll your requirements in reach 60 for 1 by tea. After tea Surrey produced its final spell the club has ever seen! Ben Maxwell took 6-43 off 24 overs and Will Humphries bowled with his heart on his sleeve for 3 wickets. This was backed up by some fine fielding with Rob "F... Off Back to Printing & Photocopying the pavilion" Hutch taking 3 catches and the winning stumping and some cheeky chirpy banter by Omar"show us your Graphic Design length"Iqbal, Malty "Mr Whippy" White and Dom "tight as Ruth" Osborne. With only 8 runs needed for victory Sussex last wicket Photography fell conluding a fine BUSA season for the Surey boys. The Sussex town of Brighton was hit hard as the celebrations continued long Television i& Audio into the night culminating in Omar's acquiral of a young blonde and the loss of hos boxer shorts ! Projection Services S y A big thanks to the whole of the club for our BUSA successes - (external^ustomers welco^)^ our best record to date. i. ' t ' Christopher Martin - Jenkins. University of Surrey.^ ' • Gii(ldfctí.SuiTey.0025XH. , , Tel: fOl^) 259290 Fax (01483) 259390