Safety and Vulnerability in Reality Storytelling
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COMING OUT OF OUR SHELLS: SAFETY AND VULNERABILITY IN REALITY STORYTELLING Sarah Beth Nelson A dissertation submitted to the faculty at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy in the School of Information and Library Science. Chapel Hill 2019 Approved by: Brian Sturm Renée Alexander Craft Sandra Hughes-Hassell Charles Parrott Ryan Shaw ã 2019 Sarah Beth Nelson ALL RIGHTS RESERVED ii ABSTRACT Sarah Beth Nelson: Coming Out of Our Shells: Safety and Vulnerability in Reality Storytelling (Under the direction of Brian Sturm) Reality storytelling shows are a growing phenomenon across the United States. These shows often take place monthly in bars. Ordinary people volunteer to tell brief, possibly edgy, personal stories. This type of communication presents a unique opportunity for studying emBodied information practices. The field of LIS tends to conceptualize information as an object, and discusses information separately from the bodies that interact with it. Seeking to better understand the reality storytelling phenomenon and embodied information practices, I undertook an ethnographic study of a particular reality storytelling show. Carapace occurs once a month in Atlanta, Georgia. I began with the question: How does the Carapace community negotiate the making of meaning? This question was crafted to guide my understanding of the community and their information practices. I attended six Carapace shows over seven months and conducted 18 interviews. I performed as a storyteller at some of the shows I attended. I found that many of the practices at Carapace focus on creating a safe space for personal storytelling. Tellers are meant to feel safe to share any story they may wish to tell. Audience memBers are made to feel safe enough to take the risk of hearing any story. These safeties largely fall into two categories: “the water is fine,” and “it’s okay to stay in your shell.” Organizers and community memBers try to make the environment generally pleasant. However, because not everything feels comfortaBle for everyone there, and because iii some things are out of their control, they also provide safety by allowing attendees to retreat into the “shells.” This usually takes the form of partially, or completely, disengaging (e.g., avoiding eye contact, leaving the room). When attendees choose to “come out of their shells” they experience moments of connection. The message at the heart of the Carapace experience is “you are not alone.” iv ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Within a week of moving to Chapel Hill in 2014, my husBand and I discovered that our four-year-old daughter Virginia had head lice, and so did we. Our two-year-old son Horatio seemed to have escaped the lice, perhaps because he still didn’t have much hair. In the days that followed I washed and comBed Virginia’s hair with the lice comB. I washed my hair and tried to comB it. But my hair is long and thick. And you are supposed to examine the scalp. I asked my husband John to help. He was hesitant, because I have so much hair. Then he was out of town, traveling back to Georgia to tend to his legal practice. I was reminded of dialog from the mini-series I, Claudius (Wise, 2000). Early in the series, Tiberius is in the bath with his brother. (It's a Roman bath.) They have the following conversation: Drusus: A man should keep himself clean, not have slaves do it. Tiberius: And how's he supposed to scrape his own back? Drusus: He gets his brother to do it. Tiberius: If he hasn't got a brother? Drusus: He gets his son. Tiberius: If he hasn't got a son? Drusus: Gets his friend. Tiberius: And if he hasn't got a friend? Drusus: Then he should go and hang himself. Tiberius: I've tried it. Better to have a slave scrape your back. (Wise, 2000) I felt like Tiberius. I had moved away from my sister (and parents, and in-laws). I had no friends in Chapel Hill. Who would comB my hair? Fortunately, things got better. My amazing family, John, Virginia, and Horatio, agreed to move with me to Chapel Hill in the first place Because they believed in me. They were willing to be uprooted so that I could pursue this PhD. We have survived, not only lice, but also fleas v (even though our cats live exclusively indoors), and bed bugs. Chapel Hill has thrown almost every type of annoying insect infestation at us, but still my family sticks with me and believes this whole crazy adventure is worthwhile. My extended family Back in Georgia turned out not to Be as remote as they felt at first. My sister, Amanda Sacchitello visited to run the Rock and Roll Raleigh half marathon with me, and came to cheer me on when I ran the full marathon the next year. My mother, Denise Mount has stayed with my kids during that first week of UNC classes Because puBlic school starts a week later. She and my step-father Mike also let me stay at their house during my visits to Atlanta for Carapace, carpooled with me to the show, and let me think through my observations aloud. My mother-in-law Joyce Nelson usually houses us when our whole family travels to Georgia to visit, and keeps me on her prayer list. My late father-in-law Bill Nelson, who was a professor at Georgia State University, passed away before I started this program. I believe he would have been proud to see another academic in the family, while perhaps still asking “why not physics?” The Carapace community was hard for me to leave behind when I moved to Chapel Hill. However, some of us kept in touch, and they always welcomed me back when I happened to be visiting Atlanta on a Carapace night. I am so grateful to this community for allowing me to come into their space and perform with them as a researcher. I’ve also made new connections in Chapel Hill. My first friends were my cohort: Samantha Kaplan, Sandeep Avula, Heather Maneiro, and Ze-Kun Hu. Within my first semester at SILS, Sami had volunteered to watch my kids, and Sandeep had bought them candy when I had to bring them to school with me. We try to support each other, from reading each other’s writing to helping each other stay sane while working on a PhD. vi My fellow PhDungeon dwellers have made my workspace Both productive and friendly, despite the lack of sunlight. Emily Vardell, especially, has been a true friend. As a recent graduate of the program, she continues to give me advice on teaching and the job search. We also share pictures of Pokémon. The North Carolina storytelling community has also taken me in. Ray Christian introduced me to the local reality storytelling scene, and allows me glimpses of the life of a national reality storyteller. Judith Valerie and I bonded over Boudica. Cynthia Raxter welcomed me and my family to Bynum Front Porch storytelling like a mother hen. And, Sam Pearsall continues to introduce me to new storytellers and opportunities. Through the National Storytelling Network I have made connections with storytellers all over the United States and beyond. Friends I’ve made in NSN have supported me through my PhD with their well wishes and enthusiastic belief in me across state lines. NSN also saw enough value in my work to help fund my dissertation research with a MemBer Grant. Lastly, but certainly not leastly, my committee has laBored with me over this dissertation. Brian Sturm was my first contact at UNC. I was so excited to find a storyteller in the program. His warm presence and gentle guidance have eased my journey. Reneé Alexander Craft taught a Performance Ethnography class so chill I looked forward to it as a calm point in my week. I am delighted she has Brought her expertise to my committee. Ryan Shaw agreed to be on the committee, even though I think he at first wasn’t sure why I chose him. His suggestions aBout challenging information theory have helped me better connect this research to the field of liBrary and information science. So, I’ll retroactively say, “that’s why!” Sandra Hughes-Hassell volunteered to be on the committee and has provided thoughtful comments and encouragement. Charles Parrott and I met at the Atlanta Fringe Festival in 2015. I’ve been glad to have the leader of the KSU Tellers, someone who understands the Atlanta live-lit scene, as vii part of the committee. Charlie has also been quick to respond to my communications, even when they weren’t dissertation related, which I so appreciate. Four-and-a-half years after moving to Chapel Hill, I no longer have to wonder who will scrape my back or comB my hair. So very many people make up my village, helping me raise my children (who are now 9 and 7), tell my stories, and undertake this dissertation. From the bottom of my heart: thank you. viii TABLE OF CONTENTS LIST OF FIGURES ....................................................................................................................................................................................... XIV CHAPTER 1: AN INFORMATION SCIENTIST WALKS INTO A BAR ............................................................................................ 1 REALITY STORYTELLING .............................................................................................................................................................. 2 The Moth. ..................................................................................................................................................................................... 3 THE QUESTION .............................................................................................................................................................................