$3 We Used To Do A Little But A Little Wouldn’t Do It, So A Little Got More And More $3 The Committed Indian The REal Fan’s Program secondcityhockey.com December 26th, 2008 [email protected] FLYERS HIGH AGAIN Editor’s Note: Due to the holiday schedule of ing in a mirror. Only if that mirror projected ers, there are questions about the men in the our printer, we had to finish this off on the an angrier, bigger, and nastier reflection of mask. But Marty Biron and Antero Niittymaki 22nd. So no info includes the Flyers game those looking at it. If you’ve ever been to The (took us three attempts to spell that) have against Ottawa on the 23rd. If Richards blows Illa-delph, you can certainly understand that. been just fine to good. Both have SV % above out a knee or Cote severs the head of a live The Flyers boast the same wealth of young, .900. goat on ice, you won’t find comment on it speedy, skilled forwards that the Hawks do. Oh, and another thing, the Flyers here. We apologize, but hope you understand. There’s so much to admire tonight about the are just as hot as the Hawks. As of Monday, Flyers’ game, such as ’s release, the they had taken 16 of the last 20 points on of- Has there been a better Christmas all-around play of Mike Richards, the vision fer. They also come in with the league’s best for a Hawks fan? We doubt it. 7 wins in a row of Simon Gagne, the speed and grittiness of power play, and a ridiculous 13 short-handed for the first time in a quarter-century, and , etc. In fact, this is the problem. goals. that hasn’t been boosted by a Skills Competi- The Bolland-line can only match up against Start The Fire But Don’t Miss The tion win and includes only one overtime win. one threatening Philly trio. If they take the Firefight The Hawks have separated themselves from top line, that leaves Hartnell-Carter-Lupul as For those of you who don’t have the rest of the Sharks and Wings-chasing someone else’s problem. That’s a big prob- tickets to the Winter Classic, this is hardly a pack by four points. That will come in handy lem. Well, that and the fact the Flyers play as bad consolation. These are the most thrilling, when the bumps in the road start ruining our if someone shit in their cereal every morning. young teams in the league, and both go for shocks. The Hawks will know they’re in a game quickly the throats from the opening whistle (in the There’s so much to glow about in tonight. Flyers case, somtimes literally). Combine that the recent play of the West Side Hockey Club, The one thing Philly doesn’t have with the Boxing Day crowd at the UC is always it’s hard to know where to start. The past few that the Hawks do is the dynamic blue-line a raucous one -- and there will be more than issues we’ve been quick to out the play corps, but that’s not to say theirs is sub- a few Flyers fans stoking that -- and you get of the Hawks third line. But it’s not even close par. Kimmo Timonen has always been a nifty an occasion that has every chance of being to overstating how good they’ve been. Ladd- puck-mover. is a badass, memorable. Our only worry is recency. The Bolland-Havlat have been the best players on though we are fucking sick of his commercial Hawks have had three days off before today’s the ice, on both ends of the ice, during this on Versus. Okay, we get it, you like to break morning skate, whereas Philly played on streak. Ryan Getzlaf, Jason Spezza, Rich Nash, your face. Shut up already. Rookie Luca Tuesday. This is the sternest test the Hawks Ales Hemsky, Jarome Iginla, and the Sedin Sbisa, though suffering some growing pains, have faced since the last game against Scum. Children of The Corn have all found them- has plus-hands back there. Buckle up. - Santa’s Elves Union selves nullified by the triumvirate. All those As it always seems with the Fly- opponents have managed two points in recent Christmas At Your House Christmas At The Wisniewski House games. Though Havlat’s numbers don’t match Ladd’s, he’s been almost as good, and working harder in his own end than anyone can remember. Obviously, the contract push is on. However, it is time we use some space to trumpet Duncan Keith -- the Hawks MVP, and we’re not sure it’s even that close of a race. We couldn’t be happier that Keith’s signature performance on the trip came in , when he completely outshined the over-slurped Dion Phaneuf and left him feel- ing Minnesota. Phaneuf does all the easily- noticed things that makes the Canadian media spray their shorts, such as big hits, booming shots, and quick rushes up the ice. But he doesn’t have near the total game Keith does. Would #2 have let a player fake him out of his jock in overtime as Toews did to Phaneuf? Not a chance. If Calgary offered a straight-up trade of the two, we’d shoot them in the face for such an insult. The time of mentioning the words “Duncan Keith” and “Norris Trophy” in the same sentence is upon us. I Seem To Recognize Your Face When the Hawks look across the red- line tonight, they may think they are look- MUSINGS FROM THE EDITOR

Some random things running through my head: and the bandwagon-jumpers we see at the UC, and what we fear - If Eddie O refers to as “The man from may happen in the future, I think it’s important that there’s no France” one more time, I’m going to cover my balls in meat sauce cooler fandom to be a part of than this one. and jump into a pen full of starving badgers...and I don’t mean As Hawks fans, we don’t have to deal with the inane Adam Burish. Christ’s sake Eddie, change it fuck- stupidity and devotion to past failures that Bears fans ing up once in a while. How about “The goalie from provide. There’s none of the ridiculous believing-in- Gaul?” Or “The Bastille-Backstop?” Fuck, I’d non-existent curses and drunken lunacy that accompa- even settle for “Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkey.” nies being a Cubs fan. There’s no inferiority complex - Speaking of which, didn’t the broadcast and shaudenfreude that comes with being a fan of the from Edmonton with Konroyd in the booth instead White Sox. And there’s none of....well, we’re not sure of Eddie sound so much smoother? No scripted what comes with being a genuine Bulls fan, we’ve sayings, no yelling, just a former NHL-er telling never met any...probably has something to do with us what he sees in a calm fashion. Or maybe that dealing with the whole Deerfield crowd. Oh, and that was just me, and all of Eddie’s yelling brings up your team fucking sucks. repressed childhood memories. Could be. For the most part, Hawks fans are the most - Last TV coverage bit: Pat Foley had his Sam Fels knowledgeable and realistic of any in town, and by a two best games in and Calgary. Perhaps wide margin. Wearing an Indian-head jersey around he’s finally relaxed, or caught up, or something else, but he’s only town still feels empowering, as if you belong to a club that most added to the excitement of those games. There’s simply nothing are just too stupid to get, like listening to a great indie band. When better than Foley trumpeting a big save from a Hawk goalie. someone pulls you aside to talk about the Hawks, chances are they are just as passionate and informed as you are. At this time of year, I usually post a Holiday Thank-you to Now, we all have the shared bonds of surviving the dark my fellow Hawks fans on either or both of Blackhawk Zone or The days and moving into what could be the most glorious period we’ve 300 Level. But I have my own pulpit, so I’ll do so here. Though ever seen. So thank you, my fellow members of the West Side we’ve all become a bit worried about the McDonough influence, Legion. It’s still a thrill to be among your ranks. NHL STANDINGS *as of 12/23 Eastern Conference Western Conference

ATLANTIC W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY CENTRAL W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY NY Rangers 22 12 2 46 96 94 12-6-1 10-6-1 Los Bastardos 22 6 4 48 119 97 11-3-2 11-3-2 Philadelphia 18 8 7 43 116 100 11-4-3 7-4-4 HAWKS 18 6 7 43 114 82 10-1-4 8-5-3 New Jersey 19 9 3 41 99 82 11-5-1 8-4-2 Nashville 16 13 3 35 84 92 9-4-1 7-9-2 Pittsburgh 18 11 4 40 113 100 8-5-2 10-6-2 Columbus 14 15 4 32 89 100 10-5-1 4-10-3 NY Islanders 10 20 3 23 81 120 5-8-2 5-12-1 St. Louis 13 17 3 29 96 114 8-7-2 5-10-1

NORTHEAST W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY NORTHWEST W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY Boston 24 5 4 52 124 77 13-1-1 11-4-3 Vancouver 19 12 3 41 103 89 10-4-1 9-8-2 Montreal 18 9 6 42 98 86 11-4-4 7-5-2 Calgary 18 11 4 40 97 99 9-4-3 9-7-1 Buffalo 16 13 5 37 97 98 9-8-2 7-5-3 Minnesota 16 14 2 34 84 74 9-6-2 7-8-0 14 13 6 34 107 114 6-5-4 8-8-2 Colorado 16 16 1 33 88 96 8-6-0 8-10-1 Ottawa 12 14 5 29 73 83 9-6-3 3-8-2 Edmonton 14 14 3 31 83 96 4-5-3 10-9-0

SOUTHEAST W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY PACIFIC W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY Washington 20 11 3 43 108 102 13-1-1 7-10-2 San Jose 26 4 3 55 116 80 17-0-2 9-4-1 Carolina 16 13 5 37 88 101 9-8-1 7-5-4 Anaheim 18 13 3 39 97 94 10-7-2 8-6-1 Florida 15 13 4 34 79 85 7-4-2 8-9-2 Phoenix 16 13 4 36 86 91 11-4-2 5-9-2 Atlanta 11 18 4 26 97 123 6-9-2 5-9-2 Los Angeles 13 14 6 32 87 98 10-6-6 3-8-0 Tampa Bay 7 16 9 23 72 101 3-6-6 4-10-3 Dallas 13 14 5 31 90 113 7-5-3 6-9-2

TOP 10 LIST PUCK DROP Scott Hartnell, Stone Bitch, Philadelphia: Top 10 Things That Are More Pleasant Than Philly That’s a compliment, by the way. We wish we Sports Fans could show Jack Skille 10. Paper cuts...on your scrotum game-film of Hartnell and 9. Overdosing on coke at the bus station say, “Do that!” But alas, 8. A rabid dog let loose in your kitchen it probably will never be. 7. WGN’s broadcast of Hawks games...but only just Skille most likely won’t combine the speed, skill, 6. Meeting your girlfriend’s staunchly Republican parents and feistiness that Hartnell does. He will add 5. Sitting through Juno three consecutive times his fourth 20- season to his resume this 4. The aneurysm that reading a Barry Rozner column creates season, and he’s definitely one you are not to 3. Listening to Ron Santo pander to the Hall-of-Fame fuck with. He plays with the nasty-streak that 2. 15 hours of fielding calls from Bears fans bitching about the would make a 60-goal scorer, or Dustin Byfuglien consistently useful. So watch Cover-2 Hartnell tonight. Watch his speed, the edge he 1. A mute Red Wings fan. But not if it can talk plays with, and hope that one day #11 in the Indian-head can emulate.

Chicago Blackhawks 18-6-7

hasn’t been the case recently. He’s still mustering shots and skating hard. His goals will come. We keep harping on this, but last season when Buff wasn’t scoring he tended to do nothing. That We were surprised to see that Adams is drawing almost two more pen- alties than he’s taking for every 60 minutes on ice. You could hardly ask for more from his hard work on the 4th line.

# Pos Player Ht WT AGE GP G A P +/- PIM PP SH GW S S% Salary 88 R Patrick Kane 5'10" 187 19 31 16 23 39 5 22 8 0 2 95 16.8 $3,725,000 10 L The Sharp-Shooter 6'1" 197 26 31 18 11 29 0 28 7 0 3 99 18.2 $3,900,000 19 C Marvel 6'2" 209 20 31 9 17 26 7 23 3 0 2 77 11.7 $2,800,000 32 L VerStud 5'10" 180 22 30 8 17 25 13 37 2 1 1 56 14.3 $491,667 51 D 51 Phantom 6'0" 188 29 31 5 18 23 4 2 2 0 1 46 10.9 $7,142,875 24 R Martin Havlat 6'2" 217 27 31 8 15 23 11 12 3 0 1 79 10.1 $6,000,000 16 L Andrew Ladd 6'2" 198 22 31 6 16 22 17 12 0 0 0 67 9 $1,550,000 36 C Dave Bolland 6'0" 188 22 31 6 13 19 8 18 0 1 1 40 15 $845,833 25 D Cam Barker 6'3" 213 22 23 3 14 17 -5 15 3 0 1 29 10.3 $2,768,587 2 D Duncan Keith 6'1" 194 25 31 4 13 17 17 18 0 1 1 67 6 $1,475,000 22 R Troy Brouwer 6'2" 213 23 25 5 8 13 5 27 2 0 0 44 11.4 $675,000 33 R Dustin Byfuglien 6'3" 247 23 28 5 6 11 2 31 0 0 1 78 6.4 $3,000,000 46 C Colin Fraser 6'1" 188 23 31 2 8 10 2 37 0 0 0 19 10.5 $500,000 7 D 6'3" 220 23 31 4 6 10 12 37 1 1 0 50 8 $600,000 55 L Ben Eager 6'2" 220 24 27 6 1 7 1 61 0 0 0 22 27.3 $568,000 23 D Aaron Johnson* 6'1" 211 25 18 3 4 7 13 12 0 0 1 10 30 $3,500,000 28 R Craig Adams 6'0" 197 31 18 2 2 4 -2 7 1 0 0 19 10.5 $600,000 43 D James Wisniewski 6'0" 207 24 2 0 3 3 1 2 0 0 0 5 0 $900,000 8 D Matt Walker 6'3" 214 28 19 0 2 2 8 22 0 0 0 18 0 $600,000 5 D Brent Sopel 6'1" 211 31 23 1 1 2 -4 8 0 0 1 15 6.7 $2,333,333 37 R Adam Burish* 6'1" 189 25 19 0 0 0 -5 49 0 0 0 21 0 $712,500 Totals/Averages 6'1" 203.75 24.17 112 198 489 32 4 970 11.55% $44,870,000 *injured We said the only thing that bothered us about Bolland was his face-offs. The past two games -- games that were close and against premium opposition, mind -- he’s gone 17 for 30. # Goalie HT WT AGE GPI Min GAA W L OT SO SA GA Sv% G A PIM Salary 39 Nikolai Khabibulin 6'1" 209 35 16 960 2.44 10 1 4 1 501 39 0.922 0 2 4 $6,750,000 38 Cristobal Huet 6'1" 205 33 16 931 2.38 8 5 3 1 441 37 0.916 0 0 0 $5,625,000 Totals/Averages 6'1" 207 34 32 1891 2.41 18 6 7 2 942 76 0.919 0 2 4 $12,375,000 TOTAL CAP NUMBER: $57,283,000 CAP SPACE: $274,000*

Probable Pairings Probable Lines *space also affected by buyouts and injured players Left Wing Center Right Wing 51 Campbell 25 Barker 22 Brouwer 10 Sharp 88 Kane 2 Keith 7 Seabrook Injury List Adam Burish- Out (Broken Toe) 43 Wisniewski 8 Walker 32 Versteeg 19 Toews 33 Byfuglien Aaron Johnson- Questionable (Shoulder) 16 Ladd 36 Bolland 24 Havlat 55 Eager 46 Fraser 28 Adams

16 years ago, David Stern sent me to ruin the NHL. I have done every- thing I can think of to drive the core I am so close to completing the task fan away, strip hockey of all that’s Stern charged me with.... great about it, and eliminate any at- tention by the mainstream media... BLACKHAWKS EAST 18-8-7* *as of 12/22

Figure Toews’s agent This is third in the league. Though it would be of great starts negotiations benefit to not see it, watch Carter’s . His release is right here.

quick enough to be called, “Sakic-esque.” being down a man means they can’t attack. # Pos Player Ht WT AGE GP G A P +/- PIM PP SH GW S S% Salary This is 1-2-3 in the league. The Flyers see no reason why 17 C Jeff Carter 6' 3" 200 23 33 25 14 39 7 26 7 4 5 147 17 $5,000,000 12 L Simon Gagne 6' 0" 195 28 32 17 21 38 19 14 5 4 1 84 20.2 $5,250,000 18 C Mike Richards 5' 11" 195 23 33 13 24 37 15 25 3 4 3 99 13.1 $5,750,000 19 L Scott Hartnell 6' 2" 210 26 33 13 12 25 4 54 3 1 3 87 14.9 $4,200,000 44 D Kimmo Timonen 5' 10" 194 33 33 3 20 23 5 30 2 0 0 44 6.8 $6,333,333 22 R Mike Knuble 6' 3" 230 36 33 13 10 23 2 20 7 0 1 64 20.3 $2,800,000 15 R 6' 1" 205 25 33 12 11 23 -3 21 4 0 3 72 16.7 $2,312,000 3 D Braydon Coburn 6' 5" 220 23 33 3 11 14 2 46 1 0 0 56 5.4 $1,300,000 9 R 6' 0" 197 25 33 5 6 11 -2 37 2 0 0 68 7.4 $1,225,000 48 C Danny Briere* 5' 10" 179 31 9 5 4 9 -3 10 2 0 0 22 22.7 $6,500,000 25 D 6' 0" 205 24 28 2 7 9 4 8 0 0 1 29 6.9 $2,902,000 13 C Glen Metropolit 5' 10" 195 34 30 1 8 9 -1 9 1 0 0 31 3.2 $1,000,000 41 D Andrew Alberts 6' 5" 218 27 31 0 8 8 3 38 0 0 0 16 0 $1,223,000 23 D Ossi Vaananen 6' 4" 215 28 26 0 8 8 6 16 0 0 0 10 0 $1,000,000 47 D Luca Sbisa 6' 2" 190 18 32 0 7 7 -3 30 0 0 0 29 0 $875,000 45 R Arron Asham 5' 11" 205 30 33 3 2 5 0 86 0 0 0 20 15 $625,000 3 D Lasse Kukkonen 6' 0" 197 27 17 0 2 2 -1 10 0 0 0 9 0 $875,000 36 C Darroll Powe 5' 11" 212 23 12 1 0 1 1 4 0 0 0 7 14.3 $450,000 32 L 6' 2" 220 26 21 0 1 1 -1 65 0 0 0 9 0 $550,000 24 L Josh Gratton 6' 2" 214 26 13 0 0 0 -4 45 0 0 0 8 0 $550,000 6 D 6' 2" 200 27 1 0 0 0 -1 0 0 0 0 0 0 $2,750,000 46 L Jonathan Kalinski 6; 1” 175 21 7 0 0 0 -4 0 0 0 0 5 0.0 $875,000 Totals/Averages 6' 1" 202.96 26.48 116 179 32 598 37 13 949 12.22% $53,470,333 *injured

# Goalie HT WT AGE GPI Min GAA W L OT SO SA GA Sv% G A PIM Salary 43 Martin Biron 6' 3" 180 31 21 1221 2.95 11 6 4 1 601 60 0.900 0 2 0 $3,500,000 30 Antero Niittymaki 6' 1" 195 28 14 800 2.63 7 2 3 1 412 35 0.915 0 0 0 $1,225,000 Totals/Averages 6' 2" 187.5 29.5 35 2021 2.94 18 8 7 2 1013 95 0.906 0 2 0 $4,725,000 TOTAL CAP NUMBER: $56,304,000 CAP SPACE: $396,000

Probable Lines Probable Pairings *space also affected by buyouts and injured players Left Wing Center Right Wing 44 Timmonen 23 Vaananen Injury List 12 Gagne 18 Richards 22 Knuble 5 Coburn 25 Carle Daniel Briere- Out (Groin-his own we 19 Hartnell 17 Carter 15 Lupul 41 Alberts 47 Sbisa hope) Derain Hatcher- Out (Knee/old) 9 Upshall 36 Powe 14 Asham - Out (Knee) 32 Cote 24 Gratton 46 Kalinski Glen Metropolit-Questionable (Back)

...IS THIS THE YEAR? Hey kids, Guess what it’s time for again... ASK THE ICE CREW!!

What’s your favorite part of the holidays?

I’ll tell you my Hopefully, my least fuckin’ part, I enjoy vatching boyfriend Tyler muthafuckah. your rampant, evil will finally These fools who consumerism drag propose this wanna white you into soul-less, Christmas and Christmas. Da capitalism pit of that will be fuck I wanna darkness. Soon my favorite white Christmas your blue jeans part. More than fo’? I don’t want and blackberrys already picking no flat-assed, will leave you veak out the church bad-music can’t and defenseless and bridesmaids’ dance suppressin’- against Russian dresses, which I shit Christmas! onslaught. Putin did 3 years ago SHEEEEEEEEIIT! crush! on our first date.

What’s the best present you ever got for Christmas?

Last year, my mother sent box of Red Army Vodka. Your veak American stom- A glok. Ain’t no ach could not handle The third disrespeck to this sweet nectar that is Mercedes my ho’ after dat. Bitch this vodka. It vould daddy bought be packin! SSSHH- melt your intestines. me. I was 17. HEEEEEEIIIIIIIITTT! You stick with pa- thetic apple-tinis and God-less Irish whis- key. (Pounds shoe on UN table)

Are you looking forward to the Winter Classic?

Shit no, bitch. I can’t put this fine Of course! I ass out in da cold love being in and wind. Be Wrigleyville. Freezing tempa- ruinin’ my money- It’s so full ture in decrepit old maker. What’s da of guys with building that usually point of havin’ dis nice jobs and house lost souls? It milshake dat make collared shirts will be just like home men weep and who never in St. Petersburg. skeet-skeet in their say anything drawers if I gotta to make me wrap ‘em up in a think! parka? SHEEEEEIT! The Fight Card

HAWKS vs. FLYERS Fight Stats provided by Hockeyfights.com

GAME FIGHT TIME Bloody Black Bruised Just Analysis Nose Eye Ego Dancing No fights. Sucks, we know. Just make some up in your mind. And ponder how wonderful Tool are.

What To Watch For: As mentioned before, the Flyers are the Hawks if all the Hawks’ dads broke their favorite toys every Christmas. As much skill and speed, but they have a lot more anger. The Flyers have not been shy this season about defend- ing their honor, and with nutjob Rily Cote running around, there’s a good chance for goofiness. Day after Christmas, charge in the arena, two good teams, big game, expect the the emotion to get the better of someone tonight, probably Wiz in his first home game this season. Power Play Kill Team Opp PPG PP% Team OPP PPG PP% Team TS PPGA PK% Team TS PPGA PK% PHI 134 37 27.6 CGY 159 29 18.2 NYR 141 15 89.4 STL 151 29 80.8 BOS 120 33 27.5 VAN 151 27 17.9 MIN 123 14 88.6 NYI 156 30 80.8 DET 131 35 26.7 OTT 135 24 17.8 BUF 138 18 87 PIT 140 27 80.7 CHI 136 32 23.5 EDM 141 25 17.7 SJS 129 18 86 BOS 124 24 80.6 SJS 160 36 22.5 NJD 110 19 17.3 CGY 148 22 85.1 DET 134 26 80.6 WSH 143 32 22.4 COL 143 22 15.4 CHI 134 20 85.1 TBL 168 33 80.4 STL 148 33 22.3 CAR 166 25 15.1 PHI 169 27 84 CBJ 147 29 80.3 MIN 139 31 22.3 NYR 163 24 14.7 VAN 164 27 83.5 COL 135 27 80 TOR 152 33 21.7 TBL 143 21 14.7 LAK 140 24 82.9 WSH 167 34 79.6 PIT 150 30 20 FLA 116 17 14.7 FLA 136 24 82.4 CAR 137 28 79.6 ATL 140 27 19.3 MTL 157 23 14.6 PHX 128 23 82 NJD 122 25 79.5 BUF 155 29 18.7 DAL 142 20 14.1 ANA 178 32 82 DAL 135 32 76.3 NYI 150 28 18.7 PHX 144 20 13.9 OTT 136 25 81.6 TOR 123 30 75.6 LAK 151 28 18.5 NSH 143 19 13.3 NSH 161 30 81.4 EDM 140 36 74.3 ANA 130 24 18.5 CBJ 147 15 10.2 MTL 154 29 81.2 ATL 141 40 71.6 Spotlight

Riley Cote

For those who think Adam Burish is out of his mind (and rightly so) we invite you to check out the video of Riley Cote’s performance on Saturday vs. Washington. It was amazing enough that he challenged world-heavyweight Donald Brashear once, and then proceeded to get absolutely pummelled. We can’t stress enough how badly Cote got his ass kicked. The two black eyes he’s sporting at the moment don’t even begin to tell the story. This was an LAPD beating. But what makes it better is that in the third period, Cote went back for seconds. Riley didn’t have his face turned into chowder in the second fight, but he didn’t exactly win it either. Our only guess is that Cote is a cyborg who can’t actually feel any pain. Cote might be the league’s reigning mental-case. One rival GM described his game thusly: “Cote doesn’t even realize there’s a puck out there.” He’s second in the league in passionate discussions with 11 fights this season. He’s probably the type of player that the Hawks need to keep Toews and Kane out of trouble, in that he’s tough but can also take a shift without killing you. The oddity is that the Flyers probably don’t need him. All of the Flyers stars, outside of lingerie model Daniel Briere, are big, nasty, and can handle themselves. Perhaps Cote allows them to play to that size without fear of retribution. Anyway, the Flyers 4th line with Cote and Gratton is going to make their presence known. Ben Eager is probably going to have to say hi to some old friends tonight. KNOW THY ENEMY

Tonight, Franciso from Flyers Goal Scored By is a kind enough is top secret, so you probably don’t want to print it, but in con- chap to cure our inquisitiveness about the Broad Street Bullies versations with a source who wishes to be referred to as “Slobber (flyers07-08.blogspot.com) Bob,” we’ve gotten word that in 2012 the Flyers intend to take those pants in the other direction and be the first NHL club to Q: When we look at the Flyers, a lot of us see the Hawks in play in hot hockey pants. a year’s, or possibly less, time. Tell us why we’re right or It always seems with the Flyers that there’s questions about wrong about that. the goaltending. Are Biron/Nittimyaki quality enough to get A: We here at Flyers Goal Scored By couldn’t be any more you where you want to go? pumped about what the Blackhawks are turning into. A solid Bernie Parent really fucked it up for all Flyers goalies who have core of young, talented forwards, along with a defense that was come since him. And whatever adoration remained for a Flyers bolstered by a big free agent signing. It’s almost like the Black- goalie was gobbled up when Pelle Lindberg decided he was fine hawks are the Mary Kate to the Flyers Ashley Olsen. What the to drive and Ron Hextall jumped Chris Chelios. Those are the Flyers were successful in doing is locking up their core playmak- three goalies in Flyers history. Marty and Nitty are one of the best ers. Then, along with a few solid years of drafting and some goaltending duos in the league right now and they’re capable, but almost magical trades by Paul “Hogwarts” Holmgren, the Flyers their legacy will be determined by how many times the guys in have positioned themselves perfectly in a tough division. The front of them can keep the opposition under 50 shots. Hawks seem to be making the same type of moves, and it looks The East is wide open. What are the expectations in Philly? like they’re turning into a playoff team in 2008. Is it Finals or bust? Daniel Briere has been on the shelf for most of the season, After last year’s impressive run it’s hard not to want the team and you guys haven’t missed him much. Is there worry about to make it to the ECF. Last year was an excellent run and really when he comes back, how he’ll fit in? Buyer’s remorse for helped to mature a bunch of our young players. Expectations are that contract at all? always going to be high in Philly where fans look at anything As long as the Flyers are winning no one cares who is out there. less than a championship as failure. But it’ll be tough getting past No joke, the Jonas Brothers could be our first line and guys with so many awesome teams. Whatever happens, you know the East Coors Light and Cheeze Wiz soaked goatees would be wearing will be full of some memorable playoff match ups. Maybe we their jerseys and defending their sexuality on message boards can get Jimmy Rollins to center our 4th line and bring home a across the internet. So the fact that our little $47M experiment is championship. in rehab for red wine isn’t a very big concern. When he comes I’m not sure people here realize how fucking awesome Mike back, if he can stay sober, someone will surely get hurt - so it Richards is. So you tell ‘em. will work out nicely. And that, my windy friend, is how a true If Chuck Norris played iced hockey, he’d be Mike Richards... Philadelphian thinks. minus the cowboy hat. Richie is an excellent two-way player Honestly, when you wear the throwback orange jerseys, and the heart of the Flyers. He’ll snipe the game winner, kill don’t you have to wear the cooperalls too? penalties, and fight people’s faces. He’s going to be a Flyer for God don’t we wish. We wouldn’t stop at that. We’d bring back life and plays with enough grit and style to fill up 10 Ben Eagers. optional helmets, 25 cent beers, and Dave Schultz if we had our He is exactly the type of player the Flyers love to make Captain, way. What many consider an embarrassment we here at FGSB and his leadership is already paying dividends. If anyone wants a regard as a brave venture into the world of hockey fashion. This lesson on hockey, just watch #18.

Hawks-FLYERS: the Last 4

Oct. 30th, 2006: Hawks 0, Flyers 3 Jan. 11th, 2006: Flyers 5, Hawks 2 A Havlat-less Hawks (i.e. shit-filled) pathetically Maybe even worse. Hawks manage 14 shots all muster only 17 shots that even Robert Esche can game, though hang around for 50 minutes before bat away. stink-fists us, as he so Flyers actually try. Handzus has three assists for often did. Philly, and continues to skate as if he just dumped in his pants.

Feb. 24th, 2004: Hawks 1, Flyers 3 Mar. 13th, 1988: Flyers 4, Hawks 5 (OT) Former Hawks captains Alex Zhamnov and Tony We chose this because our editor, 8 at the time, sat Amonte score against old team. Wow, wasn’t it fun in 5th row and watched as Flyers fan sends his two to be a Hawks fan back then? adolescent daughters to carry Flyers sign down aisle. Sign is snatched by drunken Hawks fan, scarring girls for life, start suicidegirls.com. Referee Stats For The Hawks

Referees 1st NHL Hawks Games Hawks PP’s Hawks Pens/Game Hawks PP/Game Hawks PK/ W L OTL Game PK’s Game 2 Fraser, Kerry 1980 2 9 14 11.5 4.5 7.0 2 0 0 3 Leggo, Mike 1997 1 2 1 3.0 2.0 1.0 0 0 1 4 McCauley, Wes 2003 4 10 11 5.3 2.5 2.8 2 1 0 5 Rooney, Chris 2000 ------6 Marouelli, Dan 1984 2 8 5 6.5 4.0 2.5 1 1 0 7 McCreary, Bill 1984 2 8 7 7.5 4.0 3.5 2 1 0 8 Jackson, Dave 1990 2 10 11 10.5 5.0 5.5 1 1 0 10 Devorski, Paul 1989 1 5 6 11.0 5.0 6.0 0 1 0 11 Sutherland, Kelly 2000 ------12 Koharski, Don 1981 1 6 7 13.0 6.0 7.0 1 0 0 13 O’Halloran, Dan 1995 2 12 10 11.0 6.0 5.0 1 0 1 14 LaRue, Dennis 1991 4 17 16 8.3 4.3 4.0 3 0 1 15 Auger, Stephane 2000 3 12 10 7.3 4.0 3.3 2 0 1 16 Shick, Rob 1986 1 2 2 4.0 2.0 2.0 0 0 1 18 Kimmerly, Greg 1996 3 14 15 9.7 4.7 5.0 3 0 0 20 Peel, Tim 1999 1 7 8 15.0 7.0 8.0 1 0 0 21 VanMassenhoven, Don 1993 2 6 4 5.0 3.0 2.0 1 0 1 23 Watson, Brad 1996 2 7 4 5.5 3.5 2.0 1 0 1 25 Joannette, Marc 1999 1 5 3 8.0 5.0 3.0 0 0 1 26 Martell, Rob 1996 1 3 1 4.0 3.0 1.0 1 0 0 27 Furlatt, Eric 2001 1 3 4 7.0 3.0 4.0 0 0 1 28 Lee, Chris 2001 1 5 4 9.0 5.0 4.0 1 0 0 29 Walsh, Ian 2000 ------30 Hasenfratz, Mike 2000 2 11 7 9.0 5.5 3.5 0 1 1 32 Kowal, Tom 2000 3 11 76 29.0 3.7 25.3 3 0 0 33 Pollock, Kevin 2000 2 7 9 8.0 3.5 4.5 1 0 1 34 Meier, Brad 1999 3 12 14 8.7 4.0 4.7 3 0 0 35 Warren, Dean 1999 ------36 Morton, Dean 2000 1 5 4 9.0 5.0 4.0 0 1 0 38 St Laurent, Francois 2006 2 14 15 14.5 7.0 7.5 1 0 1 39 Dwyer, Gord 2003 3 16 15 10.3 5.3 5.0 2 0 1 40 Kozari, Steve 2006 2 10 10 10.0 5.0 5.0 1 1 0 42 O’Rourke, Dan 1999 2 11 13 12.0 5.5 6.5 1 0 1 43 Pochmara, Brian 2006 ------45 St. Pierre, Justin 2003 3 15 13 9.3 5.0 4.3 1 0 2

If you’d like to contribute to The Committed Indian, or just want to tell us what you think, or call us asshats, feel free to email us at committedindian@ gmail.com. Every guest contributor will have a chance at a free jersey from Triple Threat Sports! The Committed Indian The best toilet reading around Hockey Sabermetrics We expanded to 16 pages partly so we could provide you with the Behind The Net numbers every night. So here they are for both teams. These are at even strength, 5-on-5. Key: QUALCOMP- A measure of the quality of competition each player faces on the ice. Calculated by averaging +/-/60 for opponents on the ice against player. Example: Kane has faced the toughest opppostion at +.12 QUALTEAM- A measure of the quality of teammates each player plays with. Calculated by averaging +/-/60 for teammates on ice with player. TOI/60- Time on ice, per 60 minutes, that player spends on ice at full-strength. TOF/60- Time spent off-ice, per 60 minutes, at full strength. +/-ON/60- Team’s Plus/minus, per 60 minutes, while player is on ice. +/-OFF/60- Plus/minus of team while player is off ice, per 60 minutes. RATING- +/-ON/60 subtracted by +/- OFF/60. Chicago not including last game NAME GP QUALCOMP QUALTEAM TOI/60 TOF/60 +-ON/60 +-OFF/60 RATING Aaron Johnson 18 -0.1 -0.19 11.06 33.11 3.01 0.5 2.51 Andrew Ladd 31 0.06 0.12 12.52 33.01 2.47 0.18 2.3 Matt Walker 19 -0.07 -0.19 11.85 34.62 2.4 0.46 1.94 Duncan Keith 31 0.08 0.21 19.46 26.07 1.39 0.37 1.02 Martin Havlat 31 -0.03 0 13.5 32.03 1.43 0.54 0.89 Kris Versteeg 30 0.04 -0.12 13.12 32.65 1.37 0.55 0.82 Dave Bolland 31 0.07 0.46 11.86 33.68 1.31 0.63 0.67 Brent Seabrook 31 0.1 0.37 17.52 28.01 1.1 0.62 0.48 Troy Brouwer 25 -0.01 -0.26 11.78 33.92 1.22 1.06 0.16 Patrick Kane 31 0.06 -0.11 14.26 31.27 0.81 0.8 0.01 Colin Fraser 31 -0.09 -0.65 7.45 38.09 0.78 0.81 -0.03 31 0.02 0.1 13.46 32.07 0.57 0.91 -0.33 Dustin Byfuglien 28 -0.03 0.28 12.3 32.66 0.52 0.92 -0.4 Brian Campbell 31 -0.03 -0.29 18.33 27.21 0.32 1.14 -0.82 Ben Eager 27 -0.1 -0.34 7.59 38.03 0.29 1.23 -0.93 Patrick Sharp 31 -0.03 0.03 13.56 31.97 -0.14 1.21 -1.35 Craig Adams 18 -0.11 -0.34 7.18 40.46 -0.93 0.74 -1.67 Brent Sopel 23 -0.11 0.07 10.89 34.84 -0.96 0.97 -1.93 Cam Barker 23 -0.04 -0.2 14.72 31.19 -0.89 2.09 -2.98 Adam Burish 19 -0.07 -0.11 6.29 37.65 -2.01 1.26 -3.27 Philadelphia NAME GP QUALCOMP QUALTEAM TOI/60 TOF/60 +-ON/60 +-OFF/60 RATING Simon Gagne 30 -0.03 0.38 12.8 30.75 2.03 -0.59 2.62 Mike Richards 31 -0.01 0.37 14.22 29.52 1.36 -0.46 1.82 Ossi Vaananen 25 -0.04 0.22 14.63 28.51 1.15 -0.42 1.57 Matt Carle 26 0.03 -0.14 16.81 27.86 0.69 0.17 0.52 Luca Sbisa 30 -0.06 -0.01 15.19 28.34 0.39 0 0.39 Scott Upshall 31 0.07 -0.26 11.66 32.08 0.33 0.06 0.27 Scott Hartnell 31 0 -0.07 13.15 30.59 0.29 0.06 0.23 Andrew Alberts 29 -0.06 -0.16 12.02 32.04 0.34 0.13 0.22 Aaron Asham 31 -0.05 -0.36 7.91 35.83 0.24 0.11 0.14 Jeff Carter 31 0.14 -0.26 13.98 29.76 0.14 0.13 0.01 Kimmo Timonen 31 0.1 0.25 14.71 29.03 0.13 0.13 0 Mike Knuble 31 0.01 0.77 12.57 31.17 0 0.19 -0.19 Glen Metropolit 28 -0.11 -0.04 11.05 32.66 -0.19 0.07 -0.26 Darroll Powe 12 -0.03 -0.31 7.28 36.82 0.69 1.09 -0.4 Joffrey Lupul 31 0 0.06 12.3 31.44 -0.16 0.25 -0.4 Braydon Coburn 31 0.08 0.15 16.61 27.13 -0.58 0.57 -1.15 Riley Cote 21 -0.12 -0.29 3.57 39.08 -0.8 0.37 -1.17 Lasse Kukkonen 16 -0.22 -0.06 9.91 33.59 -1.14 0.11 -1.25 Josh Gratton 11 -0.01 -0.52 5.93 39.68 -2.76 0.96 -3.72 Andreas Nodl 22 0.07 0.07 11.42 33.42 -2.63 1.39 -4.01 not including last game Hockey Sabermetrics Corsi Rating Penalties Drawn vs. Taken Here’s how the teams match up in Corsi Rating, which measure how many shots are Pretty self-explanatory. A measure of penalties drawn vs. taken, per 60 min. attempted for a team vs. how many are attempted against while a given player is on the ice, per 60 min. Chicago Philadelphia Chicago Philadelphia NAME PDRAW/60 PTAKE/60 NAME PDRAW/60 PTAKE/60 NAME CORSI NAME CORSI Burish 2 1 Cote 2.4 2.4 Martin Havlat 12.6 Braydon Coburn 5.7 Adams 1.9 0.5 Upshall 2.3 1 Andrew Ladd 11.6 Scott Upshall 5.5 Fraser 1.8 1 Asham 2 1.2 Brian Campbell 10.9 Matt Carle 4.4 Versteeg 1.5 0.9 Richards 1.4 0.7 Dave Bolland 10.3 Andrew Alberts 1.7 Bolland 1.5 0.8 Powe 1.4 1.4 Duncan Keith 9.2 Lasse Kukkonen 0.8 Brouwer 1.4 1 Hartnell 1.3 1.2 Dustin Byfuglien 7.8 Aaron Asham -0.2 Sharp 1.4 1.1 Metropolit 1.2 0.4 Brent Seabrook 7 Andreas Nodl -1 Kane 1.2 1.1 Sbisa 0.8 1.6 Matt Walker 6.1 Jeff Carter -1.7 Eager 1.2 2.6 Coburn 0.8 1.7 Kris Versteeg 6.1 Scott Hartnell -1.9 Toews 1 0.9 Kukkonen 0.8 1.1 Patrick Kane 5.8 Joffrey Lupul -2.7 Ladd 0.9 0.8 Nodl 0.7 0 Aaron Johnson 3.9 Riley Cote -3.2 Byfuglien 0.9 1.2 Lupul 0.6 0.8 Jonathan Toews 3.7 Mike Knuble -3.8 Havlat 0.7 0.7 Gagne 0.5 0.6 Cam Barker 3.7 Mike Richards -5.6 Johnson 0.6 1.5 Alberts 0.5 2.4 Ben Eager 3.5 Darroll Powe -6.2 Walker 0.5 0.3 Carter 0.4 0.7 Patrick Sharp 3.1 Simon Gagne -7.2 Campbell 0.5 0.1 Timonen 0.4 1.7 Craig Adams 2.8 Glen Metropolit -8 Sopel 0.5 1 Knuble 0.3 1.1 Troy Brouwer 2.4 Luca Sbisa -9 Keith 0.2 0.5 Vaananen 0.2 1 Colin Fraser 2.3 Kimmo Timonen -10.9 Seabrook 0.2 1.2 Carle 0.1 0.5 Adam Burish 1 Ossi Vaananen -21.7 Barker 0 0.5 Gratton 0 2.8 Brent Sopel -4.3 Josh Gratton -29.4

Chicago Face-Offs Philadelphia Player Face-Offs Taken FO% Player Face-Offs Taken FO% Jonathan Toews 496 54.6 Mike Richards 716 49.9 Colin Fraser 322 48.4 Glen Metropolit 329 46.5 Dave Bolland 427 47.1 Jeff Carter 694 46.4 Kris Versteeg 44 45.4 Daniel Briere 93 44.1 Adam Burish 36 44.4 R.J. Umberger 372 47 Patrick Sharp 370 43 Total Rank: 28th 47.1

Total: Rank: 25th 47.8

NHL LEADERS

Goals Points GAA SV%

Player Team G Player Team P Player Team GAA Player Team SV% 1 Jeff Carter PHI 25 1 Evgeni Malkin PIT 58 1 Steve Mason CBJ 1.92 1 Craig Anderson FLA .940 2 Thomas Vanek BUF 24 2 Sidney Crosby PIT 47 2 Jonas Hiller ANA 2.07 2 Jonas Hiller BOS .936 3 Phil Kessel BOS 21 3 Alex Ovechkin WAS 43 3 M. Fernandez BOS 2.09 3 Tim Thomas BOS .932 4 A. Ovechkin WAS 20 4 Zach Parise NJ 40 4 Tim Thomas BOS 2.15 4 Steve Mason CBJ .929 5 Zach Parise NJ 18 5 Marc Savard PHI 40 5 Craig Anderson FLA 2.15 5 Roberto Luongo VAN .928 6 Patrick Sharp CHI 18 7 Patrick Kane CHI 39 10 Cristobal Huet CHI 2.38 9 N. Khabibulin CHI .922

Third Man In

Not So Savvy he disassociate Savvy with the on ice product. We can’t tell you how ace it is to have Chris Block from Third Man In in But Savvy wasn’t treated like a man. He was lied to, deceived and tonight’s issue. For those who might now know, Third Man In is the best taken advantage of. His fate was sealed the day Scotty Bowman was hired. Hawks blog going. If there’s anything you ever wanted to know about the No matter what the Hawks tell you, Savard was fired before this team ever West Side Hockey Club, go there (www.thirdmanin.com) got to training camp. This was Bowman’s first act as senior advisor and it was intensely swift behind the scenes. Since I was a little kid nestled in my first balcony Stadium seat, Joel Quenneville was brought on board as a professional scout I reserved a special place in my hockey-loving heart for Denis Savard, over the summer, just as mysteriously as Marc Bergevin sold his San Diego the mustachioed French Canadian who once lifted 17,300-plus equally as home before training camp and moved to Chicago. I suppose because the freakishly-facially haired Chicagoans with dazzling speed and pond hockey winter’s are nicer here. antics, to the brink of almost-greatness consistently during the mid-80’s. Mike Keenan spent two years building a case to convince Bill He’s the same guy who was sacrificed in 1990 for the enhancement Wirtz and Bob Pulford his team couldn’t win with Savvy. Scotty Bowman of the on-ice product and then returned for an immeasurable, astonishing had Rocky and John after one lunch. playoff run five years later. Awarded the opportunity by Bill Wirtz to be a Savard’s willingness to accept this franchise’s rejection is trouble- Blackhawk for life, Savard quickly accepted an assistant coaching position some. He took the demotion like a scolded child. He whined a bit, stood he was both unworthy and not fit for five months following his retirement in defiantly when the Hawks weren’t looking but ultimately did exactly as they 1997. asked. McDonough repeatedly said he wished Savard would forgo coaching And so it began. A long-running dialogue between hardcore Hawk and stay on board in a different capacity. fans that challenged their loyalty to a man they so-highly An athlete’s allegiance to one franchise in this era is regarded, at times bordering that regard with contempt. refreshing and honorable, but Savard is no longer an We wanted to believe Savard was putting his athlete. He’s a professional, a professional coach. Or at heart and soul into a second hockey career behind the least we thought he was. Unfortunately, he was the fraud bench and wasn’t just collecting a paycheck to support his we feared he was all along. lifestyle. This wasn’t a man easily despised. We figured A real coach would’ve dusted himself off and gotten he was too dumb to trick us. After all, he was a Black- right back on the horse. (Or found an analyst job on hawk through and through. That’s why we maintain such television) But that’s just the problem, Savvy never was a a high level of affection for the man. real coach. He just had some of us fooled. But Savior Faire no longer resides in such a Savard will be McDonough’s west side version of Ernie place with me. Banks. Waiting in the wings while today’s ‘Mr. Hawk’ Twice now this franchise has told Savard he’s Bobby Hull treads one step closer to his ever-impending not good enough to win a championship with. First it death, Savard will soon be front and center as the Black- was Mike Keenan who couldn’t wait to get rid of Savard hawks lovable-loser, tagging along with the Ice Crew to in 1990 when he sent him to Montreal for Chris Chelios. every team function and corporate sponsor kowtow to For most fans it was a harsh veracity in the ever-changing glad hand, smile and nod to the tune of a lucrative, six- landscape of pro sport. Still, while it stung to see him go, Chris Block figure per ambassador deal. most knew it was for the best. Was McDonough right to fire Savard? You bet he was. Now, we have similar feelings. Did he go about it the correct way? Certainly not. The right time Wednesday night, November 12th was host to a special moment, was over the summer when the organization originally came to the decision, unplanned and reserved for only the most-revered professional athletes. On but McDonough’s a marketing man, not a ballsy decision maker. a night when fans gathered in appreciation of Hall of Famer Pierre Pilote and So, why all this scorn for a man once one of my hockey heroes? the late Keith Magnuson, it was Savard who was the recipient. On the day he was fired Savard had an opportunity to prove all the In his first public appearance since the October 16th firing, Savard naysayers wrong, and not just McDonough and Bowman. Coming off a sea- gathered with other Blackhawk honorees Stan Mikita, Bobby Hull and Tony son in which he led the Hawks through a seventeen point improvement and Esposito at center ice to welcome Pilote and the Magnuson family in their just three shy of a playoff birth but failed to receive a single vote (not first, special club. Evident from the moment he stepped onto the ice, the crowd second or third) for the Jack Adams trophy, the Hawks front office weren’t was ready to erupt for Savvy and when his name was announced, they did the only people divided on Savvy’s worth. Yet, he had what every organiza- just that. Players too. A long, sustained ovation brimming with both admira- tion looks for in a new head coach, recent success. Also, by all accounts, his tion and pity. players loved playing for him. Savard wouldn’t have been on the sidelines Blackhawks’ fans knew Savard had been wronged. In the first long. He probably would have had to take another assistant’s spot or lead in glimpse of disdain for this new era in Hawks’ management, those same fans the AHL, but the point is work would have found him. understood the reason; John McDonough takes you for a bunch of simple- I still wanted to believe in him. One more time. A man I was tons. too big and clumsy to spin 280 degrees into a backhand roof shot Saturday McDonough felt he couldn’t enact Savvy’s axing until he had afternoons at the park district rink, but surely thought had as much pride as I reasonable cause to purvey to the hockey populous. In his mind he couldn’t would’ve if put in the position he was this past October. I guess not. simply do what was right for his business and worried what the returning fan Savard will continue to be what he’s been every day since retiring base would think of such a thing. a Blackhawk in 1997; a company stooge. It’s all he knows. But hey, he’s Savard is simply a harmless, chain smoking twit whose as hug- committed. gable as Mickey Mouse and as dangerous as Adam Burish’s wrist shot. He’s a caricature of a man, quirky enough to warrant adaptation into cartoon form and now John McDonough plans to do just that. McDonough knew Savard wasn’t good enough to lead the Hawks to greatness (well, Scotty told him), just as Keenan discovered in the late 80’s, and realized Savard’s worth in the long run tripled in value as long as The Making of The

YEAR DRAFT TRADE FREE AGENT 2008-2009 Brian Campbell (BUF 6th round 1997 Cristobal Huet (LA 7th round 2001) Matt Walker (STL 3rd round 1998) Aaron Johnson (CLB 3rd round 2001) 2007-2008 Patrick Kane (1st round) Ben Eager (PHO 1st round 2002) from Brent Sopel (VAN 6th round 1995) PHI for (FA PHI 2000) Craig Adams (HAR 9th round 1996) from CAR for future considerations. Andrew Ladd (CAR 1st round 2004) from CAR for Tuomo Ruutu (CHI 1st round 2001) 2006-2007 Jonathan Toews (1st round) Martin Havlat (OTT 1st round 1999) from OTT and Bryan Smolinski (BOS 1st round 1990) for Tom Preissing (FA SJ 2003), Josh Hennessy (SJ 2nd round 2003) and Michael Barinka (CHI 2nd round 2003) Kris Versteeg (BOS 5th round 2004) from BOS for Brandon Bochenski (OTT 7th round 2001) 2005-2006 Patrick Sharp (PHI 3rd round 2001) Nikolai Khabibulin (WIN 9th round from PHI for (CHI 4th 1992) round 2002) and CHI 3rd round pick 2006 2004-2005 Cam Barker (1st round) Dave Bolland (2nd round) Troy Brouwer (7th round) 2003-2004 Brent Seabrook (1st round) Colin Fraser (PHI 3rd round 2003), Corey Crawford (2nd round) Jim Vandermeer (PHI FA 2000) and Dustin Byfuglien (8th round) 2004 2nd round pick from PHI for Alex Zhamnov and 2004 4th round pick (WIN 4th round 1990) 2002-2003 Duncan Keith (2nd round) James Wisniewski (5th round) Adam Burish (9th round) info in part provided by hockeyreference.com GM HISTORY COACHES Dale Tallon (2005-Present) Head Coach-Joel Quenneville Bob Pulford (Too Fucking Long, Too Many Fuck- Assistant Coach-John Torchetti ing Times) Assistant Coach-Mike Haviland Mike Smith (2001-2004) Assistant Coach- Marc Bergevin Bob Murray (1999-2000) Goaltending Coach-Stephane Waite The Making of The Philadelphia Fly- ers info in part provided by hockeyreference.com YEAR DRAFT TRADE FREE AGENT 2008-2009 Luca Sbisa (1st round) Josh Gratton (PHI Undrafted FA 2004) from NSH Aaron Asham (MTL 3rd round for (CAL 3rd round 2003) 1996) Andrew Alberts (BOS 6th round 2001) from BOS Glen Metropolit (WSH Undrafted for Ned Lukacevic (LAK 4th round 2004) and 2009 FA 1999) 4th round pick Ossi Vaananen (PHX 2nd round Matt Carle (SJ 2nd round 2003) and SJ 2009 3rd 1998) round pick from TB for Steve Eminger (WSH 1sr round 2002), (PHI 1st round 2005), and 2009 4th round pick 2007-2008 Jonathon Kalinski (6th Scott Hartnell (NSH 1st round 2000) and Kimmo Daniel Briere (PHX 1st round round) Timonen (LAK 10th round 1993) from NSH for 1996) 2007 1st round pick Joffrey Lupul (ANA 1st round 2002) and (NJ 1st round 1992) from EDM for Joni Pitkanen (PHI 1st round 2002), Geoff Sanderson (HAR 2nd round 1990), and 2009 3rd round pick 2006-2007 Scott Upshall (NSH 1st round 2002) , Ryan Par- Darrol Powe (Undrafted FA) ent (NSH 1st round 2005), and 2007 1st and 3rd round picks for Peter Forsberg (PHI 1st round 1991) Braydon Coburn (ATL 1st round 2003) from ATL for (LAK 4th round 1991) Lasse Kukkonen (CHI 5th round 2003) and 2007 3rd round pick from CHI for Kyle Calder (CHI 5th round 1997) - Calder then traded to DET for Jason Williams (DET Undrafted FA 2000) Martin Biron (BUF 1st round 1995) from BUF for 2007 2nd round pick 2005-2006 Riley Cote (Undrafted FA) Derian Hatcher (MIN 1st round 1990) 2004-2005 Mike Knuble (DET 4th round 1991) 2003-2004 Jeff Carter (1st round) Mike Richards (1st round) 1998-1999 Simon Gagne (1st round) Antero Niittymaki (6th round) COACHES GM HISTORY Head Coach-John Stevens 2006-Present: Asst. Coach- Joe Mullen 1994-2006: Asst. Coach- Jack Mcllhargey 1991-1994: Russ Farwell Asst. Coach- Craig Berube Goaltending Coach- Reggie Lemelin The Hawks Record When...

Playing at home...... 10-1-4 Allowing a short-handed goal...... 1-1-1 Eddie O tells crew to “stop it right here!”.... 17-6-7 Playing on road...... 8-5-3 Taking 30 or more shots...... 14-3-4 Eddie O tells us D have the forwards and forwards have the D Scoring first...... 9-2-2 Taking less than 30 shots..... 4-3-1 during 4-on-4...... 17-6-7 Opponent scores first...... 9-4-5 Allowing 30 shots or more...... 10-2-5 We fantasize about shooting Eddie O.... 17-6-7 Shoot the puck bimbo scores...... 3-0-1 Allowing 30 shots or less...... 8-4-2 We’re ecstatic Pat Foley is back...... 17-5-7 Shoot the puck bimbo doesn’t score...... 7-1-3 100 Level doesn’t cheer for anthem. 10-1-4 Ice-girls wear skirts...... 3-0-3 Shoot the puck bimbo blows editors of Commited Indian..... 0-0-0 1st of a back-to-back...... 2-2-2 Ice-girls wear pants...... 3-1-0 ANYONE blows editors of Committed Indian ...... 0-0-0 2nd of a back-to-back..... 4-2-0 ice-girls wear shorts.... 4-0-1 Playing on a Monday...... 1-1-1 Opponent played night before.... 4-1-1 Ice-girls wear hideous pink outfit...... 1-0-0 Playing on a Tuesday...... 2-0-0 Seabrook gets a flat-footed penalty.... 6-2-3 Leading after 2 periods...... 13-1-3 Playing on a Wednesday...... 4-0-2 Burish takes a penalty...... 4-3-2 Losing after 2 periods...... 1-3-2 Playing on a Thursday...... 0-0-0 Keith takes a penalty...... 5-1-2 Tied after 2 periods...... 4-2-2 Playing on a Friday...... 3-2-1 Sharp takes a penalty...... 7-2-2 In overtime...... 2-2 Playing on a Saturday...... 3-2-3 Toews takes a penalty..... 5-1-2 In shootout...... 2-5 Playing on a Sunday...... 4-1-0 Havlat takes a penalty.... 4-0-0 Cam Barker plays...... 14-4-4 Savard changes lines during game... 1-2-1 Sopel takes a penalty...... 3-2-1 Cam Barker is in Rockford due to GM incompetence..... 3-2-3 Coach Q keeps lines as they are..... 17-4-6 Sopel looks 6 steps slow...... 7-5-5 Lacking a #2 center...... 18-6-7 Are out-muscled by opponent.... 7-6-3 51 Phantom blows a coverage...... 12-4-6 In 1-goal games..... 5-3-7 Outshoot opponent...... 11-4-2 Toews is trying too hard...... 3-4-2 In 2-goal games...... 5-2-0 Are outshot by opponenet.... 7-2-5 At least 1 fight in 300 Level... 0-0-2 In 3-goal games...... 3-1-0 Havlat shies from contact...... 16-5-6 No fights in 300 Level..... 10-1-2 In 4+ goal games...... 4-0-0 Patrick Kane scores...... 8-3-2 Playing Eastern Conference..... 2-2-1 Scoring 3+ goals..... 13-1-4 Jonathan Toews scores...... 3-0-3 Playing Western Conference..... 16-4-6 Scoring less than 3 goals...... 0-5-3 Martin Havlat scores...... 4-0-1 Playing Central Division...... 2-0-5 PA plays Ministry...... 0-0-0 Patrick Sharp scores...... 11-2-2 Playing Northwest Division.... 8-1-0 PA plays Modern Cock-Rock..... 10-1-4 Dustin Byfuglien scores...... 3-0-1 Playing Pacific Division 6-3-1 PA plays Classic Cock-Rock...... 6-1-4 Dustin Byfuglien turns down a hit...... 15-5-5 Playing Atlantic Division 0-1-0 PA plays P.J. Harvey...... 0-0-0 Andrew Ladd scores...... 5-0-1 Playing NASCAR Division 0-1-0 Frasier fights...... 5-2-1 Dave Bolland scores...... 4-0-1 Playing Northeast Division 2-0-1 Burish fights...... 4-1-0 Adam Burish scores...... HA! Playing in October.... 4-3-3 Seabrook fights..... 0-0-0 51 Phantom scores...... 2-1-1 Playing in November.... 6-3-3 Barker fights...... 0-0-1 Duncan Keith scores...... 2-2-0 Playing in December...... 8-0-1 Buff fights...... 0-0-2 Brent Seabrook scores...... 4-0-0 Playing in January..... 0-0-0 Sharp fights...... 0-0-0 Aaron Johnson scores.... 2-0-1 Playing in February..... 0-0-0 Eager fights...... 6-0-1 Troy Brouwer scores.... 4-0-0 Playing in March...... 0-0-0 On Comcast...... 13-2-4 Scoring a Power Play goal...... 13-2-6 Playing in April...... 0-0-0 On WGN...... 5-3-3 Not scoring a Power Play goal... 4-4-1 UC plays really stupid goal song..... 10-1-4 On Vs...... 0-1-0 Allowing a Power Play goal...... 7-3-7 Huet’s five-hole open like Lindsay Lohan’s..... 2-4-2 Judd Sirott swears a lot off-air 18-6-7 Not Allowing a Power Play goal...... 11-3-0 Getting obliterated on face-offs...... 5-5-4 Committed Indian is sold outside... 6-1-2 Scoring a short-handed goal...... 2-1-0 Are even close on face-offs..... 13-1-3 Editor of Committed Indian bleeds on programs...... 1-0-0

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