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Douglas Adams' Bureaucracy Meet Mike's Important Dream Date Reader Poll Seepage 7 Seepage6 Winter/Spring 1987 Douglas Adams' Bureaucracy Not very long ago, Douglas Adams It's a sad story, one that's replayed (who is, as everyone knows, the best­ every day for millions of people selling author of that zany interactive worldwide. Of course, it's not always story The Hitchhiker's Guide to the a bank at fault. Sometimes it's the Galaxy TM) moved from one apartment postal service, or the telephone .: in London to another. He dutifully company, or an airline, or the .. notified everyone of his new address, government. All of us, at one time including his bank. In fact, he or another, feel persecuted by a personally went to the bank and filled bureaucracy. What can be done? out a change-of-address form. Only Douglas Adams would exact Soon after, Douglas found that he such sweet revenge. He retaliated by was unable to use his credit card. He writing Bureaucracy™ , a hilarious discovered that the card had been interactive journey through masses of invalidated by the bank. Apparently, red tape. the bank had sent a new card to his You begin Bureaucracy in your old address. spiffy new apartment. You're going For weeks, Douglas tried to get the to Paris this very afternoon for a bank to acknowledge his change-of­ combination training seminar and address form. He talked to bank vacation, so you'll need to leave as officials, and filled out new forms, soon as you get the money order your and applied foranothercreditcard, but boss has mailed you. Unless, of nothing worked. He had no credit, and course, there's some problem with Creative Services Manager Carl Genatossio slaved over a hot drafting table f or the bank behaved like ... well, like a the mail... over two years before completing the cover art f or Bureaucracy. bank. Please turn to page 3 Genuine Zorkmid coin minted for the Zork Trilogy Together again for the first time; Zork I, Zork II and Zork III in the same package In the beginning, three little Zorks The coin, which bears the handsome lived happily together in one big visage of Belwit the Flat, is included mainframe computer. They flour­ in The Zork Trilogy package, along ished under the loving care of Marc with the complete games of Zork I, Blank, Dave Lebling, and a lot of Zork JI, and Zork Ill on disk; a hi story other nurturing computer types, and of the Great Underground Empire; a grew up to be humorous, challeng­ Frobozzco International stock ing, and full of riveting puzzles. certificate; resort brochures from FiT\ally, it was time for Zork®I, Bozbarland and Grayslopes; a letter Zork JI , and Zork Ill to venture out from John D. Flathead IX; and a into the world of personal computers. strange old map. As everybody knows, they made their Just imagine ... Zork I, Zork JI, parents proud. One million people Zork Ill, a heap of fascinating 1 welcomed the little Zorks into their documents, and a not-available­ homes. They were called "remark­ anywhere-else Zorkmid coin. And it's able," "fascinating," "beautifully all yours at a savings of 50% off the written," "masterpieces of logic." original combined cost of the three Countless awards and accolades were Zork packages. Commodore 64/128 won, including "Best All-Time and Atari XL/XE versions cost just Computer Game" from Playboy $59.95. Apple II series, Macintosh, Magazine in 1986. Atari ST, Amiga, and IBM versions Now, five years later, Zork I, Zork carry a suggested retail price of JI, and Zork Ill are together again, $69.95. happily reunited in one incredible If you haven't yet welcomed the Zork Trilogy package. three little Zorks into your home, To commemorate this momentous now is the time to do so ... now that occasion, the staff of the Frobozz they're all together in the extra Here's the suprisingly original cover of the new Zork Trilogy, chosen from Mint struck a special Zorkmid coin. special Zork Trilogy. literally thousands of entries from across the globe. Page 2 The Status Line Winter/Spring 1987 Dear Infocom: "Deadline! " I creaked from the I eagerly ripped open the envelope stretcher, "Deadline is the answer!" with the Infocom logo and quickly Mail Bag The police sergeant named Duffy pulled out the latest edition of The asked me, "That T-shirt you're New Zork ... wait! A little change wearing is a large, isn't it?" I told threw me off balance -- but it was I suppose you'll get a few billion behold! Be still my beating heart! Duffy, "No, it's a medium." quickly regained. I opened the edition entries for the puzzle, but remember: Keep running my beating feet! A heli­ Interactive-affectionately yours, and turned to page 6. Ah, yes, page I sent mine in first. copter! I was really glad I had looked Jon Ramer. 6, home of puzzle number 11 . I Sincerely, back at the helicopter until I turned Great Falls, MT thought -- no, I prayed -- that I would John Sadowski back around to see where I was run­ be able to complete the program Buffalo, MN ning. When I woke up on the heli­ Dear Infocom: puzzle and win! Yes, me! Winner! copter, they were still picking tree My newsletter came with a distinct Winner of the Infocom game of my Dear Infocom: bark out of my face. Never mind that, perfume (perhaps Moonmist) choosing! I read about Leather The snow fell at an ever-increasing though, I was rescued! Free to watch permeating the paper. My guess is Goddesses of Phobos and I wanted it. rate, obscuring my view of the tree more reruns of Gilligan's Island and that the newsletters are stored near the That would be the game of my line ahead. The wind whistled Hogan's Heroes! Free to solve Zork a scratch-and-sniff cards used in the choosing. Plenty of sex, action, sex, through my cloak, and my lantern twelfth time! Of course the snow Leather Goddesses of Phobos game. puzzles, sex, zany humor, sex; why, squeaked in the cold. The miles had storm came back in force. Fortunate­ On the other hand, my wife is it had my name all over it! The trudged by at an ever-slowing rate, ly, we crashed on top of three cows. convinced that the Infocom letter was tension within me built! until I finally couldn't go on any Not only did they soften the blow, perfumed because in the mail box it I looked at the puzzle. Then I further. I entered the small grove of but I ate steak for four days until the was sitting next to a letter from my looked at it once again. Puzzlement trees and gratefully collapsed beneath forest rangers rescued me again. (non-existent) lover. The perfume befell my shattered hopes and dreams! a large tree with low branches. Finally, I spied the lovely little makes me a prime Suspect, and of You had to match quotes with games! Totally exhausted, I did the only quaint abode with boarded windows course I hid the incriminating letter This got me to thinking. I thing I could think of to pass the and a front door intentionally left (according to her) but she managed to personally have only two games time 'til the end came: I whistled. As blank that I called home. I wondered sniff out my Infidelity by paying (Leather Goddesses of Phobos I whistled, a beautiful little bird flew what I could have possibly done to de­ attention to Invisible Clues. Our would've been my third) so I over me into the branches of the tree. serve what happened to me. I opened mutual trust, the Cornerstone of our recognized very few quotes (fourto be The end must be close, I thought; my big mailbox with the usual marriage, is missing. She thinks exact). To win your puzzle, I would this is too familiar to be true. difficulty (it hates to give up posted some Enchanter or Sorcerer placed a have to know dialogue from 17 Then the little bird dropped mail) and realized what it was: my love spell on me and that she, my games. Fine; how much would this something on my head that was copy of The Status Line had been in lover and I are a Starcrossed Trinity. be? I calculated it out to be $654.15 nothing like a brass bauble and flew my mailbox for six days unopened! I Now she is looking for a good plus 4% sales tax; if I ordered them away. Coincidentally, I realized that quickly remedied that fault as I step­ Spellbreaker. I need an honest through you, it would have been I had been whistling the theme song ped inside. Reaching into my cabinet Witness to tell my wife the truth. $688.15. Being a college student on to the TV series The Hitchhiker's for a cup, I found one of my china Without your help, my wife and I a very strict budget, I cannot afford Guide to the Galaxy. I decided to cups was inexplicably missing, so I will become Cutthroats. Be my $600 for games in order to compete figure the odds of these two events grabbed another and poured myself a Wishbringer, and tell my wife that in your puzzles. This is very happening together, hoping that it cup of tea. The stories and news I'm inno-scent. Until we get an disconcerting to me.
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