! The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting How Hollywood Evaluates Your Screenplay ! Collin Chang Alison Haskovec Michael Lee Nick Sita Helen Truong Dwayne Alexander Smith Scott Honea Maya Goldsmith Vikram Weet John Evans! ! ! Edited by John Evans ! ! ! !Dear Reader, This eBook has been digitally encoded and registered in your !name, and is provided for your personal and private use only. Piracy is a serious problem in both the movie industry and the publishing industry. As a screenwriter, you hope to receive payment for your hard work. You do not want your scripts or story ideas to be stolen or your movie to be pirated. The authors and publisher of this eBook have invested a great deal of time, effort, and expertise in developing these materials for !you, and we feel the same way. As writers and artists it is incumbent upon us to band together to protect ourselves and each other from those who would attempt to steal our ideas, time and labor. We hope you will join us in this effort and report any unauthorized posting or file sharing, wherever you may discover it, to the legal copyright holder. Working together, we can protect ourselves, our work, ! and our industry. – Production Arts Group ! ! ! ! ! WARNING: This electronic publication is registered and protected under U.S. copyright law, international copyright law, and international property law. The unauthorized posting, reproduction, distribution or file sharing of this copyrighted work or any portion thereof is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to 5 years in federal prison and a fine of $250,000. DISCLAIMER: The authors and publisher have used their best efforts in preparing this publication and sincerely hope that it will prove helpful to you; however, the authors and publisher make no representation or warranties with respect to the accuracy, applicability, fitness, or completeness of the material contained herein. This publication and its contents are intended solely for informational purposes. If you wish to apply any of the ideas contained herein, you are taking full responsibility for your actions. The authors and publisher disclaim any warranties (express or implied), in connection with the creation, distribution, marketing and/or sale of this publication, and shall in no event be held liable to any party for any direct, indirect, punitive, special, incidental or other consequential damages arising directly or indirectly from any use of this material, which !is provided “as is” and without warranties. ! The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !2 ! ! Contents ! ! ! Introduction 3 !by John Evans Chapter 1: PREMISE/CONCEPT 5 by Collin Chang Chapter 2: PRESENTATION 12 !by Alison Haskovec Chapter 3: STRUCTURE 21 !by Michael Lee Chapter 4: PLOT 29 !by Nick Sita Chapter 5: PACING 39 !by Helen Truong Chapter 6: CHARACTERS 45 !by Dwayne Alexander Smith Chapter 7: DIALOGUE 52 !by Scott Honea Chapter 8: THEME 60 !by Maya Goldsmith Chapter 9: STYLE/TONE 67 !by Vikram Weet Chapter 10: COMMERCIAL POTENTIAL 76 !by John Evans ! ! ! ! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !3 ! ! ! Introduction! by John Evans ! As a screenwriter, one of the most daunting tasks you face is submitting your work to the agents, producers and industry execs whose approval you need in order to get your movie made. It can be an ego-bruising experience. Every writer longs for a “yes” (ideally followed by a tidy sum of money), but the unfortunate reality is that 99% of the time the answer you get from !the industry decision-makers is “no.” What’s doubly frustrating is that the “no” almost never comes with any useful advice on how to get a “yes!” You rarely receive an honest explanation of the thought process behind the rejection. Instead, the “pass” is couched in non-committal, formulaic language about “our needs at this time” or some !such polite brush-off. Thanks for nothing, right? It’s maddening. But what if you could get inside the minds of those Hollywood gatekeepers and learn how they make their judgments? What if the industry professionals who are on the front lines at the studios, networks, agencies and production companies − the people reading the scripts you submit − actually took you through their thought process and explained the criteria they use to evaluate !your work? What if they told you how to get a “yes”? !That idea was the inspiration for this eBook. The Judges for the PAGE Awards all have years of experience evaluating scripts and participating in the acquisition, development and production process at major Hollywood studios, agencies and production companies. Some of them are also professional screenwriters themselves. They are the eyes and ears of this industry. They know the current trends, they know the marketplace, they know what makes for a winning screenplay, ! and most importantly, they know what separates an amateur from a pro. In this eBook, 10 of our Judges discuss the various criteria they use to evaluate scripts for both the PAGE Awards and the companies they work for. They explain how these elements are key to a successful screenplay, they show how top screenwriters do it, and they offer insights and ideas !to help you elevate your script to the professional level. Within these pages you’ll notice many points of agreement among the Judges. Some key pieces of information are repeated in different ways. You may notice some disagreement, as well! Everyone working in this !business has developed a unique point of view based on their personal ! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !4 experience. Which is why you’ll find that one industry reader may respond favorably to your work, while another may not. Evaluating a script (or a movie, for that matter) will always be a subjective undertaking. But to maximize your chances for success, you need to make sure that your script !meets the expectations of the industry in certain fundamental ways. We hope you will find these chapters a useful reference as you construct your next screenplay from the ground up, step-by-step. And we also hope this eBook will help you assess the work you’ve already done and where you stand as a screenwriter. Every writer has individual strengths and weaknesses. What are yours? Do you need to develop a greater command of three-act structure? Work on fulfilling the dramatic potential of your !characters? Learn how to better express the themes of your story? This eBook is packed with information, so don’t try to read it all in one sitting! Take it one chapter at a time. As you read, think about your own scripts. How do you think this particular Judge would evaluate this particular element of your screenplay (premise, plot, dialogue, etc.)? Consider how you can use the information provided to help improve your script. What ideas does ! it spark? Ultimately, the question to ask yourself is: “Given my current strengths and weaknesses, how can I take my writing to the next level? What do I need to do to make my screenplays more reader-friendly? Contest-winning? !Production-worthy?” Our mission here at the PAGE Awards is to discover the next generation of professional screenwriters. You are the future of the movie and television business. I hope the following pages will inspire you, inform you, and help you write the exciting new stories this industry needs in order to remain !creatively vital and prosperous. – JE ! ! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !5 ! ! ! PREMISE/CONCEPT! ! by Collin Chang “You had me at hello.” − !Dorothy, Jerry Maguire (1996) Back in my misspent college days, I was at one of those big frat-house shindigs branded a failure if the cops didn’t show. I’d just met a sweet sophomore named Ariel when our heads bongo’ed as we both reached for the last remaining Guinness chilling in the fridge. A real life Meet Cute. As we laughed about this, I suddenly felt a lick of electric tension. It was almost as if someone swept a live wire just above the hairs on the back of my neck. I’d felt that only once before in my life, when I was six years old and sitting in the passenger seat of my dad’s Mercury Cougar. A big semi-truck sideswiped us on the freeway. A split second before the truck slammed into us, sending our tiny car spinning into the guardrail, I felt that same electric sensation. Every head in the kitchen swiveled toward the living room of the frat house. All breathing stopped and we became a party of mannequins. Through the sea of heads and shoulders between the kitchen and living room I couldn’t see what was happening, but I heard a girl scream. The sound sliced through the din of collegiate revelry like a fire engine’s wail. An instant later Ariel voiced the obvious, instinctive, perfect question: “What’s happening?” She didn’t ask “Who’s involved?” or “What’s the deeper meaning of it all?” Those questions would come later. The natural human reaction to a mysterious, tense, electrifying event like this is to first ask, “What’s happening?” This is also the fundamental question at the core of every screenplay. That chaotic party scenario (and my childhood car accident, for that matter) mirrors the movie-going audience’s experience of a good story.