! The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting How Hollywood Evaluates Your Screenplay ! Collin Chang Alison Haskovec Michael Lee Nick Sita Helen Truong Dwayne Alexander Smith Scott Honea Maya Goldsmith Vikram Weet John Evans! ! ! Edited by John Evans ! ! ! !Dear Reader, This eBook has been digitally encoded and registered in your !name, and is provided for your personal and private use only. Piracy is a serious problem in both the movie industry and the publishing industry. As a screenwriter, you hope to receive payment for your hard work. You do not want your scripts or story ideas to be stolen or your movie to be pirated. The authors and publisher of this eBook have invested a great deal of time, effort, and expertise in developing these materials for !you, and we feel the same way. As writers and artists it is incumbent upon us to band together to protect ourselves and each other from those who would attempt to steal our ideas, time and labor. We hope you will join us in this effort and report any unauthorized posting or file sharing, wherever you may discover it, to the legal copyright holder. Working together, we can protect ourselves, our work, ! and our industry.
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DISCLAIMER: The authors and publisher have used their best efforts in preparing this publication and sincerely hope that it will prove helpful to you; however, the authors and publisher make no representation or warranties with respect to the accuracy, applicability, fitness, or completeness of the material contained herein. This publication and its contents are intended solely for informational purposes. If you wish to apply any of the ideas contained herein, you are taking full responsibility for your actions. The authors and publisher disclaim any warranties (express or implied), in connection with the creation, distribution, marketing and/or sale of this publication, and shall in no event be held liable to any party for any direct, indirect, punitive, special, incidental or other consequential damages arising directly or indirectly from any use of this material, which !is provided “as is” and without warranties. ! The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !2 ! ! Contents ! ! ! Introduction 3 !by John Evans Chapter 1: PREMISE/CONCEPT 5 by Collin Chang
Chapter 2: PRESENTATION 12 !by Alison Haskovec Chapter 3: STRUCTURE 21 !by Michael Lee Chapter 4: PLOT 29 !by Nick Sita Chapter 5: PACING 39 !by Helen Truong Chapter 6: CHARACTERS 45 !by Dwayne Alexander Smith Chapter 7: DIALOGUE 52 !by Scott Honea Chapter 8: THEME 60 !by Maya Goldsmith Chapter 9: STYLE/TONE 67 !by Vikram Weet Chapter 10: COMMERCIAL POTENTIAL 76 !by John Evans ! ! !
! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !3 ! ! ! Introduction! by John Evans ! As a screenwriter, one of the most daunting tasks you face is submitting your work to the agents, producers and industry execs whose approval you need in order to get your movie made. It can be an ego-bruising experience. Every writer longs for a “yes” (ideally followed by a tidy sum of money), but the unfortunate reality is that 99% of the time the answer you get from !the industry decision-makers is “no.” What’s doubly frustrating is that the “no” almost never comes with any useful advice on how to get a “yes!” You rarely receive an honest explanation of the thought process behind the rejection. Instead, the “pass” is couched in non-committal, formulaic language about “our needs at this time” or some !such polite brush-off. Thanks for nothing, right? It’s maddening. But what if you could get inside the minds of those Hollywood gatekeepers and learn how they make their judgments? What if the industry professionals who are on the front lines at the studios, networks, agencies and production companies − the people reading the scripts you submit − actually took you through their thought process and explained the criteria they use to evaluate !your work? What if they told you how to get a “yes”? !That idea was the inspiration for this eBook. The Judges for the PAGE Awards all have years of experience evaluating scripts and participating in the acquisition, development and production process at major Hollywood studios, agencies and production companies. Some of them are also professional screenwriters themselves. They are the eyes and ears of this industry. They know the current trends, they know the marketplace, they know what makes for a winning screenplay, ! and most importantly, they know what separates an amateur from a pro. In this eBook, 10 of our Judges discuss the various criteria they use to evaluate scripts for both the PAGE Awards and the companies they work for. They explain how these elements are key to a successful screenplay, they show how top screenwriters do it, and they offer insights and ideas !to help you elevate your script to the professional level. Within these pages you’ll notice many points of agreement among the Judges. Some key pieces of information are repeated in different ways. You may notice some disagreement, as well! Everyone working in this !business has developed a unique point of view based on their personal ! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !4
experience. Which is why you’ll find that one industry reader may respond favorably to your work, while another may not. Evaluating a script (or a movie, for that matter) will always be a subjective undertaking. But to maximize your chances for success, you need to make sure that your script !meets the expectations of the industry in certain fundamental ways. We hope you will find these chapters a useful reference as you construct your next screenplay from the ground up, step-by-step. And we also hope this eBook will help you assess the work you’ve already done and where you stand as a screenwriter. Every writer has individual strengths and weaknesses. What are yours? Do you need to develop a greater command of three-act structure? Work on fulfilling the dramatic potential of your !characters? Learn how to better express the themes of your story? This eBook is packed with information, so don’t try to read it all in one sitting! Take it one chapter at a time. As you read, think about your own scripts. How do you think this particular Judge would evaluate this particular element of your screenplay (premise, plot, dialogue, etc.)? Consider how you can use the information provided to help improve your script. What ideas does ! it spark? Ultimately, the question to ask yourself is: “Given my current strengths and weaknesses, how can I take my writing to the next level? What do I need to do to make my screenplays more reader-friendly? Contest-winning? !Production-worthy?” Our mission here at the PAGE Awards is to discover the next generation of professional screenwriters. You are the future of the movie and television business. I hope the following pages will inspire you, inform you, and help you write the exciting new stories this industry needs in order to remain !creatively vital and prosperous. – JE !
! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !5 ! ! ! PREMISE/CONCEPT! ! by Collin Chang “You had me at hello.” − !Dorothy, Jerry Maguire (1996) Back in my misspent college days, I was at one of those big frat-house shindigs branded a failure if the cops didn’t show. I’d just met a sweet sophomore named Ariel when our heads bongo’ed as we both reached for the last remaining Guinness chilling in the fridge. A real life Meet Cute.
As we laughed about this, I suddenly felt a lick of electric tension. It was almost as if someone swept a live wire just above the hairs on the back of my neck.
I’d felt that only once before in my life, when I was six years old and sitting in the passenger seat of my dad’s Mercury Cougar. A big semi-truck sideswiped us on the freeway. A split second before the truck slammed into us, sending our tiny car spinning into the guardrail, I felt that same electric sensation.
Every head in the kitchen swiveled toward the living room of the frat house. All breathing stopped and we became a party of mannequins. Through the sea of heads and shoulders between the kitchen and living room I couldn’t see what was happening, but I heard a girl scream. The sound sliced through the din of collegiate revelry like a fire engine’s wail.
An instant later Ariel voiced the obvious, instinctive, perfect question: “What’s happening?” She didn’t ask “Who’s involved?” or “What’s the deeper meaning of it all?” Those questions would come later. The natural human reaction to a mysterious, tense, electrifying event like this is to first ask, “What’s happening?”
This is also the fundamental question at the core of every screenplay.
That chaotic party scenario (and my childhood car accident, for that matter) mirrors the movie-going audience’s experience of a good story. The setup is surprising, impossible to ignore, and fraught with unanswered questions. We don’t know what’s happening, but we need to find out!
If the setup for your story captures the power of this kind of experience, you will hook your audience. “What’s happening?” is the most important question you need to ask yourself as you begin writing your script. It’s also the question that agents and producers first ask when they consider your work. ! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !6
The answer to this question is, fundamentally, your script’s concept.
What’s the difference between “concept” and “premise”?
The concept is the engine of your story and the premise is that idea developed into a logline — the short, one-or-two sentence ditty that tells the world what your movie is about.
Do you recognize these classic loglines?
An over-the-hill boxer gets one last chance at glory when he’s handpicked for a publicity stunt match with the reigning world champion.
When terrorists overrun an office tower Christmas party, a lone police detective trapped inside is the only hope for the survival of the hostages — among them, his estranged wife.
A young boy meets a new friend, left behind by his family, and hides him in a shed. That friend happens to be an alien, and the government is on the hunt for him.
All three premises just seize you by the jugular, don’t they? These loglines describe the films Rocky, Die Hard and E.T.: The Extraterrestrial, and all three share one commonality with that fateful night in my frat house: Something’s happening, and I want to know how it plays out.
That’s the key to an irresistible premise. Your audience just has to know the outcome of the situation. Just as Ariel had to know “What’s happening?”
Back to the frat house… (You’re still curious what happened there, right?) There was a love triangle of sorts unfolding in the living room, not more than 20 feet from where I stood. A jilted lover pulled a Saturday Night Special on his rival and held it to his head. This scenario was the logline of that night. And believe me, it had everyone’s attention. As a police standoff unfolded over the next 30 minutes, it snared our attention like the story of the Lindbergh baby. As should the premise of any script you write!
How do you evaluate a script’s concept and premise?
Your concept needs to be solid and your premise needs to wow me. A great premise has a jolt like a cattle prod, while the logline has an instant “need-to- know” factor. Quite unlike this:
Dori resolves to milk Bessie the cow, who thwarted her efforts the day before.
Is this a sound logline? Technically, yes. Is the main character, Dori, faced with a challenge? Yes. To milk the cow who just wouldn’t stand still yesterday. But is there a need-to-know quotient involved? Absolutely not. ! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !7
You’re going to have to write the hell out of this script to make us care whether or not a cow gets milked today. And getting anyone to actually read that script will be an even greater feat.
While a girl milking a cow in the next room would certainly elicit curiosity, it wouldn’t keep anyone riveted for long. Doesn’t quite have that “I gotta know what’s going on” factor, does it? A great “what’s happening” stops someone in their tracks and forces them to take notice.
“Concept is king” isn’t a new idea. In fact, it’s as old as the hills. See if you can identify this oldie but goodie:
A hero takes down a monster destroying his city and is crowned king, only to discover that he himself is the greater monster.
That story is nearly 2400 years old. It was first performed in 420 B.C. in the city of Athens, Greece. Figured out what it is yet?
It’s Oedipus Rex, also known as Oedipus the King. In this ancient Greek tragedy, Oedipus, a hero of ancient Thebes, is called upon to vanquish a monster known as the Sphinx. After outwitting the Sphinx by answering its riddle, Oedipus is crowned king and takes the late king’s wife as his own. Then he learns that the king and queen were his parents, and that he unwittingly murdered his father and married his mother.
M. Night Shyamalan didn’t invent the twist ending. Sophocles, the playwright, knew exactly how to pack ‘em into the seats.
A great premise works exactly like a good joke. Pitched correctly, with the proper mechanics, it should evoke some combination of a laugh and a gasp.
Another component of a great premise is compounding the impact of the concept with an ironic twist. I have to give the late, great Blake Snyder props for this one. In his wonderful screenwriting primer Save the Cat, Snyder proposes that all great premises have one dynamic in common: They’re all steeped in irony. Here are three that prove the point:
A seven-year-old’s birthday wish comes true when, for just one day, his silver-tongued dad can’t tell a lie. Trouble is, his dad’s a lawyer. (Liar, Liar)
When a Great White shark terrorizes a beach community, the town’s only hope is a police chief who’s afraid of the water. (Jaws)
In a darkly futuristic Los Angeles, a cop tracking escaped humanoid “replicants” falls in love with one of the replicants he was hired to destroy. (Blade Runner)
What makes those premises great? Each has an ironic twist. ! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !8
In Liar, Liar, it’s cool that the boy’s wish comes true and that his father can't tell a lie for a day. But when you factor in that Dad is a lawyer? Well now, that story almost writes itself, doesn’t it?
In Jaws, a police chief who’s afraid of the water is forced to go into the ocean to combat both his fear and a deadly shark.
In Blade Runner, a cop falls in love with the very creature he’s obligated to destroy. I’m in!
Another ingredient of a great premise is a high-stakes situation. I'm always amazed at how many young writers (and sometimes even older, seasoned ones) will simply close up shop with only half the day's work done. The concept is there, but the stakes aren’t nearly as high as they could be.
Take this premise, for example:
A young FBI trainee must hunt down a serial killer.
That isn't a bad idea for a movie. We have a wet-behind-the-ears trainee thrown into the manhunt for a killer. However, it's missing two factors sure to transform it from a good premise into a great one.
First, high stakes. When you raise the stakes, your idea becomes downright irresistible.
To save the kidnapped daughter of a U.S. Senator, a young FBI trainee must hunt down a serial killer.
The kidnapping element adds a ticking clock to the proceedings, thus raising the stakes. And the second ingredient? If you’ve been paying attention, you already know! It's missing that all-important ironic twist.
In order to save the kidnapped daughter of a U.S. Senator, a young FBI trainee must solicit the help of a notorious serial killer.
Boom!
To sum up, when I evaluate the concept and premise of a screenplay, I look for four things:
1) The premise should beg the question, “What's happening?”
2) It should have a “wow” factor. End of the world? Wow! Milking Bessie the cow? Not so much.
3) It should have an ironic twist.
4) It should involve a high-stakes situation. ! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !9
Some tips on how to come up with a compelling premise…
Here’s one proven technique you can use: Combine two into one. Often, with the collision of two disparate concepts you’ll find your noggin filled with a single great one.
For example, two often-emulated premises originated in The Seven Samurai and The Exorcist. Seven Samurai was remade (twice) as a Western, The Magnificent Seven. The latest iteration concerned a band of outlaws recruited by a young woman to avenge the murder of her family. The Exorcist concerns a young girl possessed by an ancient demon and the two priests – one young and modern, the other older and weary – called upon to save her. So, slosh both premises around in the martini shaker of your mind and see what you come up with. Here's my take:
When an ancient evil threatens the very existence of the Earth, an elderly nun seeks the seven holiest people alive to band together to fight it as a team.
Not bad, huh? Can’t you just see that movie? Just imagine if each one of them came from a different country? And imagine if the holiest person from America just happened to be a 12-year-old choirboy who prays diligently every night for his sick mother to get well!
Now, you try it!
Here’s another way to conjure up a great premise: Do the genre shuffle. Have an idea for a bleakly apocalyptic film so dour it just might hang itself with its own logline? Re-envision it as a comedy!
Let's look at the Cormac McCarthy novel they turned into a dark drama, The Road. There's nothing so dour at your local cinema but Ice Cube’s scowl. Ask yourself, “How would this story play as a comedy?”
Hint: “Paging Jason Sudeikis!” Imagine Jason Sudeikis as a rocket scientist at NORAD, the missile-launching site. He's in love with another scientist, played by Amy Schumer. They're perfect for each other, except for one glaring issue: She wouldn't let him touch her if he were the last man on Earth.
Well, wouldn't you know it? The apocalypse strikes and all the missiles are launched. Sudeikis and Schumer climb out of their platinum-encased safe cell only to discover that the Earth's population, as far as they can see, has been wiped out. Now it’s possible that he is the last man on Earth. But he still has to win her over! So here’s the logline:
To ensure the survival of the human race, the last man on Earth must win the heart of a woman who hates his guts.
Are those stakes, or are those stakes? ! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !10
Here’s another technique for you: “another time, another premise.” With this one, take a proven idea and put it in a different time and setting.
What if James Bond lived in the 18th Century?
What if Saint George chased his dragon through an evil wizard's portal that led them to Los Angeles in 2018?
Intriguing scenarios fall into your lap once you choose the right year. I have to give Jennifer Lerner (500 Ways to Beat the Hollywood Reader) props for inspiring this one: What if an alien invasion happened before anyone knew what an alien was? There's a great idea hibernating somewhere in there. Here's my take on it:
A hostile alien armada approaches the planet and only the greatest astronomer on Earth knows how to stop it. The year is 1610 and the astronomer is Galileo Galilei.
All of these approaches stress one thing above all else:
When you’re looking for an exciting new idea for your next script, you need to stretch your imagination as far as it'll go. And when you think it won’t stretch any further, stretch it some more. Your imagination, as you’ll soon !discover, is limitless! – CC ! ! ! ! !
! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !11 !! ! ! ! ! ! ! About the Author…
Collin Chang has sold two scripts to major studios and has been hired on a dozen writing assignments. In 20016, his first independent horror movie The House of Usher was filmed and subsequently distributed by ThinkFilm. He currently has two projects in active development – one with Mosaic Media Group and the other with Accelerated Entertainment. He is the co-creator, head writer and co-executive producer of the HBO Asia series Halfworlds, which ran two seasons on the network from 2015 to 2016. He has worked as a professional script reader for Film Colony and has also worked for the test screening company OTX. Collin is a member of the WGA, and has served as !head mentor for the WGA’s Young Storytellers Foundation.
! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !12 ! ! ! PRESENTATION! ! by Alison Haskovec “You believe you are special, that somehow the rules do not apply to you. Obviously, you are mistaken.” ! − Rhineheart, The Matrix (1999) You know the saying, “Don’t judge a book by its cover”? Well, unfortunately, !that does not apply to screenplays. If you want your script to impress the Hollywood execs (and who doesn’t?), it needs to look professional. Proper formatting, good grammar, correct spelling and punctuation − together, your “presentation” − contribute to the !overall readability of your screenplay. And readability is vital. Submissions from aspiring screenwriters usually end up in a tall stack on an entertainment industry professional’s desk, and when yours is finally picked out, you don’t want your script to be quickly dismissed for something so !simple as formatting errors or typographical mistakes. What are the components of “presentation”?
Format refers to the manner in which the language and scenic elements appear on the page. Font, margins and spacing, scene headings, character names, scene description and dialogue all follow a basic formula in both !film and television scripts. Typos, short for “typographical errors,” are misspellings, grammatical mistakes or improper punctuation. A handful of typos will be forgiven as long as the script is engaging overall. However, it is important to try to avoid typos, because anything that takes the reader out of the world of your story − even for a moment − is bad news for you. This is especially true at the beginning of your script, when you’re trying to grab and sustain your !reader’s interest. If you want to become a successful writer, no matter what the medium, it should be a matter of personal pride and vigilance to care about these fundamentals. At the very least, make sure you run a spell-check on your script. And before sending your screenplay out to the industry, ask a trusted family member or friend to act as your own personal presentation police. Your mom may not be the best judge of your script’s blockbuster potential, but she might very well spot the typo that snuck by you!
! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !13
!Why is presentation so important? The truth is that most executives and agents are looking for any reason to say “no” to a new writer. Poor formatting and numerous typos are sure signs of rushed, sloppy, or worse, amateurish work, and they provide !busy Hollywood execs with an easy excuse to put a script down. Proper formatting is also important because the overall page count provides an indication of how long the movie will run. When you use standard formatting, each page of your script ends up being roughly equivalent to a minute of screen time. When a writer strays from conventional formatting, it not only makes the reader’s job more difficult, but also undercuts the !producer’s ability to evaluate such crucial elements as budget and schedule. !How do you evaluate a script’s presentation? This is one of the easiest elements of a screenplay to evaluate because it is concrete. Apart from a few minor variables, a script’s format is either correct or it isn’t. The script is either free of grammatical errors, or its readability is hindered by typos and mistakes. So for example, when judging for the PAGE Awards, I start out assuming a score of 10 and knock off points as !any distracting mistakes catch my eye. If you receive Feedback on your script, you may find that some Judges are much tougher in this area than others. The truth is, some industry readers don’t pay that much attention to typos, while others are real sticklers and will get very annoyed by any formatting errors or spelling mistakes. So cover your bases either way! Make sure your script is in industry standard format and typo-free. (Plus, in a contest like the PAGE Awards, this is the easiest !“10” you can get!) For a detailed description of proper screenplay and teleplay format, you should consult one of the formatting books listed at the end of this chapter. But let me give you a quick overview of a few of the specifics, along with !some information about the current trends... !FEATURE FILM FORMAT (Please take a look at the Screenplay Format Sample provided with this !eBook to see how all of the following elements look on the page.) Feature film scripts normally run anywhere from 90 to 120 pages. Horror, family and comedy scripts tend to be on the shorter side (90-100 pages), action scripts and thrillers in the mid-range (100-110 pages), while dramas and historical epics may run a little longer (closer to 120 pages). But try never to exceed 120 pages! Unless you’re Aaron Sorkin, an excessively long page count is rarely justified and will be a big turn off to most Hollywood readers. ! ! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !14
Industry standard screenplays are set in 12 point Courier, Courier New or Courier Final Draft font. Top, bottom and right margins are all 1” and the left margin is 1½”. Scripts are generally submitted and read online these days; however, when shooting scripts are printed for the cast and crew, they are !printed on 8½ X 11” three-hole punched paper and bound with two brads. Some new screenwriters make the mistake of centering their character names, dialogue and description. That is incorrect. The elements should all be !indented from the left margin, with measurements approximately as follows: Scene headings and description are set flush with the left margin
Character names are indented 2.2” (22 spaces from the left margin)
Parentheticals are indented 1.6” (16 spaces from the left margin)
Dialogue is indented 1” (10 spaces from the left margin)
! Transitions are set flush with the right margin (Some screenwriting programs use slightly different measurements. Minor !variations of a space or two are acceptable.) Traditionally, the first page of every script has always begun with “FADE IN:” at the top of the page, set flush left. Although the use of “FADE IN:” is going !out of style, no one will penalize you for including it. Each scene begins with a scene heading, also known as a slug line. This establishes the setting and helps the filmmakers figure out how many times a location will be used and how many day and night shoots will be required. Scene headings are written in all capital letters. They consist of the following !elements, in order: 1) (INT.) interior or (EXT.) exterior 2) Location (e.g. RESTAURANT, AIRPLANE) followed by a dash ! 3) Time (e.g. DAY, NIGHT, LATER) !Here are two properly formatted scene headings: !EXT. FREEWAY - DAY! ! !INT. MASON’S BEDROOM - NIGHT! Note: Recently, many professional screenwriters have begun setting scene headings boldface and/or underscored. Long discouraged, this style is now becoming increasingly prevalent in the industry, as it helps the scene headings stand out. (You can see how this looks in our Screenplay Format Sample.)
Next comes the scene description, also called direction or action. Scene description sets up characters, conveys tone and atmosphere, and illustrates ! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !15
what is on screen. Description should be written in the present tense with an active voice. Keep your description simple so the reader never gets bogged down in unnecessary detail, but make sure to use evocative language that !tells your story in a vivid and engaging manner. Scene description should be single-spaced, standard text, upper and lower case. Certain words may be capitalized, set in boldface or underscored for emphasis. Character names should be capitalized only when the characters are first introduced. Sound effects should be capitalized, and important props !and special effects may be capitalized, as well. For example: Two college students, PETER (19) and DYLAN (18) shoot pool. A strange HUMMING SOUND makes them look up at ! the TV, where the Red Sox game flickers erratically. ! The television EXPLODES. Break up the scene description into paragraphs of no more than two or three lines each. The rule of thumb is that each paragraph indicates a specific camera shot. If you’re writing an action sequence, single line paragraphs !can help convey a sense of urgency and tension. No matter what kind of script you’re writing, remember that long blocks of type are daunting to a busy industry professional and risk turning the read into a slog. So keep a good balance between description and dialogue, and !leave plenty of white space on the page! Dialogue is presented by first indicating the character name in capital letters. If the dialogue is voice over (V.O.) or off-screen (O.S.), that !appears in parentheses beside the character’s name, like this: NARRATOR (V.O.) Anne and Beth are hard at work on ! their first screenplay. A parenthetical (aka wryly) may appear below the character name, with a word or two of direction to convey how the line should be delivered, indicate some piece of action or, if it isn’t otherwise clear, explain who or what the line !is directed toward. The parenthetical is all lower case, single-spaced, like this: BETH (chews her sunglasses) I think we’re onto something with the talking unicorn, but how can we get a bare-chested boy toy ! into this picture? (It’s important to note that professional screenwriters use parentheticals very sparingly. Avoid giving actors line readings.) ! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !16
Below the character name or parenthetical is the dialogue itself, set in standard upper and lower case, single-spaced. Each block of dialogue is !followed by a double space, as follows: ANNE ! What if he’s the unicorn’s trainer? BETH Or his best friend? Maybe it’s one of those centaurs, you know: half ! man, half horse. Transitions are used to indicate how the writer wants one scene to flow to the next. Transitions are set flush right on the page and are preceded and !followed by a double space. “CUT TO:” indicates an abrupt change of locale and is the standard transition. However, the current preference is for shorter, less cluttered scripts, so if you intend a standard cut from one scene to the next, the transition “CUT TO:” is no longer required (it’s assumed). In this case, simply skip the transition and !go straight to the next scene heading. !Other transitions you can use where appropriate: “DISSOLVE TO:” indicates one image fading out as another appears, often !indicating a passage of time. “MATCH CUT TO:” ends a scene on one object and starts the next scene on the same object or something similar, again indicating a passage of time or !suggesting an allusion between the two shot compositions. !“FADE OUT” is used at the end of the movie, when the frame goes black. !TV FORMAT Teleplays share many similarities with feature scripts. The scene headings, margins, font and type are all the same. But there are also several important differences, which vary depending on which TV format is being discussed: !TV movie, single-camera series, or multi-camera sitcoms. TV movies are usually 90-110 pages long. Of all the television formats, TV !movie scripts look the most like screenplays. Single-camera series (shows that are filmed on location with one camera) share similar formatting with features and TV movies. One-hour dramas generally run 54-60 pages long, while half-hour comedies run 25-30 pages.
Network TV dramas are made up of four acts, with a teaser at the beginning and a tag at the end. Half-hour single-camera series have two acts and often ! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !17
include a teaser and/or tag as well. Act breaks are not used for shows that air on pay cable channels like HBO and Showtime, which do not interrupt !their programs with commercial breaks. The opening teaser is a short establishing scene about a minute in length. After the teaser, write “ACT ONE” at the top of a new page, centered. Triple space and then begin the scene. At the end of the act, triple space and write “END OF ACT ONE,” centered. Start each act on a new page. After the end of the last act, you may want to include a tag or epilogue − a brief postscript !to the episode that resolves a minor subplot. TV sitcoms are usually filmed on one set using multiple cameras, and thus are known as multi-camera comedies. Sitcoms are the most dialogue- heavy of the TV formats, so their page count exceeds their actual running time, averaging around 40-45 pages. And the sitcom format looks quite !different than standard screenplay format. Sitcom scripts are generally comprised of a teaser, two acts and a tag. If there’s a teaser, the heading “TEASER” appears at the top of the page, !centered. If the show employs a tag at the end, the heading “TAG” is used. The comedy acts are divided into scenes. Each scene begins on a new page and is lettered (i.e. “Scene A”, “SCENE A”, or simply “A”). On subsequent !pages, the letter appears capitalized in parentheses under the page number. The first page of a sitcom begins with the series title, followed by episode !title, act number and scene letter, all centered like this: ! DUDES HANGING OUT “Rock Warriors”! ! ACT ONE ! (SCENE A) Each new act begins with the act number in capital letters, centered and !underlined, followed by the scene letter. The scene starts 12 lines below that. At the end of each act, there’s a double space and the transition “FADE OUT:” !followed by five spaces and “END OF ACT ONE” or “END OF ACT TWO.” In sitcoms, scene headings are underlined and all of the characters appearing in that scene are generally listed in parentheses directly under the scene !heading, as follows: INT. SCOTT’S APARTMENT – NIGHT ! (Scott, Andrew, Phil, Gillian) ! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !18 !Sitcom description is set in all capital letters: ! SCOTT PLAYS GUITAR HERO. ANDREW CHEERS HIM ON. !Sound cues are separated from description and underlined: ! PHONE: RINGS !Camera direction is also underlined: SCOTT PICKS UP THE PHONE. AFTER A BEAT, HE LOOKS LEFT. THE CAMERA PULLS OUT TO REVEAL GILLIAN’S FACE AT THE ! FIRE ESCAPE WINDOW, PHONE TO EAR. SCOTT WAVES HER IN. Sitcoms have fewer location changes than other formats; therefore, all !character movements in and out of a scene are underlined: ! GILLIAN ENTERS AND SLINKS OVER TO THE COUCH. While sitcom description is single-spaced, the dialogue is double-spaced. Parenthetical directions are embedded in the dialogue in capital letters, !like this: ! SCOTT ! Whoa, she’s finally made it back! (TO GILLIAN) Where have you been all day, woman?
Transitions are underlined: FADE OUT ! Different shows use slightly different variations of this format, depending upon the preferences of the show runner. So if you’re writing a spec for an existing series, make sure you get a copy of one of the scripts for that show and mimic the format actually used. If you’re writing an original pilot, study scripts from shows of a similar genre and style to get a feel for how they look.
!Some tips on how to deliver a professional presentation… To make your job easier, use the professional screenwriting software Final Draft, which is available for both Macs and PCs. This software is very helpful because it automatically does most of the work of formatting your script for !you, so you can concentrate on developing your story and characters. If you can’t afford software right now, there’s plenty of information about script formatting available online, and there! are numerous books on the © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !19
subject. The Hollywood Standard: The Complete and Authoritative Guide to Script Format and Style by Christopher Riley is an incredibly comprehensive guidebook and covers both television and feature formatting, as does David Trottier’s The Screenwriter’s Bible. Elements of Style for Screenwriters by Paul Argentini is a useful glossary and guide for feature writers, and Strunk and White’s The Elements of Style and The Chicago !Manual of Style are very helpful additions to any writer’s library, as well. Perhaps most importantly, one of the best ways to learn how to write a great screenplay is to read scripts by professional, produced writers. You can access copies of produced screenplays and teleplays free of charge at websites like simplyscripts.com and imsdb.com.
Please note that most of these published screenplays are shooting scripts, not spec scripts, and they include things like scene numbers and camera directions, which you should not use in your spec. However, in ever other way it is extremely valuable to study these scripts. Just as many visual artists begin their careers by studying and emulating a favorite master, you too can hone your presentation by studying and emulating your screenwriting heroes. Every aspiring screenwriter should be an avid reader of the great works of cinema and television. Reading good scripts will not only have the effect of perfecting your formatting, but will help you improve every other aspect of your writing, as well. – AH
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! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com !The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !20 ! ! ! ! ! !
!About the Author… Alison Haskovec is the Senior Vice President of Development and Production at Silvertongue Films, a production company that specializes in live action family movies. Silvertongue’s credits include Mortal Engines for Universal, Clifford the Red Dog for Paramount, and His Dark Materials for the BBC. Alison began her career at Team Todd/Dreamworks and Radar Pictures, then moved on to oversee development at Intermedia Films. She has also served as a consultant at Scott Free Television and Echo Lake Productions. She is a graduate of Harvard University.
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! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !21 ! ! ! STRUCTURE! ! by Michael Lee “Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!” ! − The Wizard, The Wizard of Oz (1939) ! ! INT. OFFICE OF A MAJOR PRODUCTION COMPANY – NIGHT A PRODUCER (40’s, looks 30, tan and well dressed) converses with his ASSISTANT (20’s, looks 40, pale, ! haggard, in dirty t-shirt and jeans). PRODUCER How’s that stuffed animal neo-noir ! script I gave you? ASSISTANT The guy can write, but there’s a ! problem in the first act. PRODUCER ! What’s the inciting incident? ASSISTANT It’s the jewelry store robbery, but ! that doesn’t happen until page 40. PRODUCER Hmmm... Writer has problems with ! structure. !(This conversation actually took place. Only the details were changed.) So you have a great idea for a movie… Where do you begin? What’s the first step? How do you turn that great idea into a completed feature script that !someone will want to produce? I found the answer to that question years ago when I stumbled upon The Screenwriter’s Workbook by Syd Field. By the time I was done reading that book, my confusion was replaced with enthusiasm. What before had been an almost mystical process seemed suddenly reduced to child’s play. !Anybody could write a screenplay! ! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !22
It would take a while longer before I would learn the difference between just writing a screenplay and writing a good one. But Syd Field’s book gave me !my start. And what was the most vital information contained in this tome? Structure. ! ! !Why is structure so important? Simply put, structure is the blueprint for the construction of your story. Think of a screenplay as a building. It has an interconnected foundation, walls, ceilings and roof. You wouldn’t dream of constructing a house without a set of plans, would you? Your walls might fall down and your roof might collapse. Screenplay structure is a way of planning your story so that when it comes time for the actual build, the entire edifice doesn’t collapse into a !pile of unconnected ideas and half-realized intentions. I know, the idea of planning a story this way may not jibe with your image of yourself as a writer. Some people believe writers should be monk-like artists who stare at their computer screens until inspiration strikes and then put down whatever mad thoughts jump into their heads. Author Stephen King !famously said that he simply writes until he finds “the hole in the page.” What King doesn’t mention in that particular quotation is that narrative structure is already ingrained into his thinking. In his book On Writing, King makes it clear that he never needed diagrams or outlines because he absorbed the rules of narrative intuitively through doing a lot of reading. That’s like learning to play the piano by ear − simply by listening to others play. One person in a million is capable of that. So forget what works for Stephen King. You’re not Stephen King and neither am I. If we were, we’d each have five bestsellers and ten movie scripts in production by now.
So how !do you design a fundamentally sound blueprint for your story? The most important thing Syd Field discovered is that all “traditional narrative” screenplays share a common DNA regardless of genre. Westerns, Action, Horror, Romance, Comedy and Musicals all follow the same basic plan: the !famed Three Act Structure (cue the awe-inspiring chorus). I’m not going to argue whether or not a screenplay can be effectively structured in other ways. It doesn’t matter. When people in Hollywood talk screenplay structure, they mean Three Act Structure. You find it even in shorter works. I recently applied Three Act Structure to a Spongebob !Squarepants cartoon and it fit like a glove. The Three Act Structure provides the basis for your blueprint. You dream up all the key scenes and fit them together using a diagram like the one below. Sometimes people use flashcards to write down individual scenes and then try to arrange them on the diagram, shuffling and reorganizing until the right things happen at the right times. ! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !23
The whole goal is to organize your story so that it has a solid foundation in the beginning and a clear rising action throughout. The story picks up momentum as increasingly dramatic things happen to test your protagonist’s strength, determination and resourcefulness.
!Here’s a diagram illustrating Syd Field’s trusty Three Act Structure:
Inciting Incident Plot Point #1 Midpoint Plot Point #2 Climax ! ______|______|______|______|______|______Act I Act II Act III (20-30 pages) (50-60 pages) (20-30 pages) ! !ACT I The beginning of your movie is devoted to setting everything up. In the first 20-30 pages, your leads and any important supporting characters are introduced. Your premise is established and we are provided with any exposition necessary to understand the story. We also get the Inciting Incident that sets the main plotline in motion. Oh, and you also have to !establish your tale’s primary theme. That’s a whole lot to get done, isn’t it? The good news is that Act I, much like puberty, only lasts so long. With so much to do, the first few pages go by pretty quickly. Think of these pages as the opening moves in chess. Sure you could get fancy and bring out the big pieces, like the Queen, right away. But winning at chess is about thinking several moves ahead and carrying out a patient strategy, step by step. !Similarly, Act I should set up the big moves to come. !INCITING INCIDENT While Act I is largely concerned with character introductions and laying the groundwork for your story, it’s essential that the overall plot starts moving forward from the very beginning. The hero can’t just hang around getting to know everybody. The scene that starts your hero’s quest should occur !in Act I, and by page 10 or 15 at the very latest. Many beginners make the mistake of saving the inciting incident until Plot Point #1, somewhere around page 25 or 30. But if you look at the vast majority of movies today, you will see that we know what the protagonist wants − and what he or she has to do to get it − within the first 10 minutes. As audiences grow more sophisticated (and more impatient), the pace of !cinematic storytelling gets faster every year. Example: The moment when Neo receives the FedEx package from !Morpheus in The Matrix. ! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !24
!PLOT POINT #1 This is the spot where Act I ends and Act II begins. This is the end of the beginning. No more hellos or introductions. Your plot’s foundation is laid and now it’s time to build in earnest. Plot Point 1 is a major event that spins the story in a new direction. Often something dramatic has occurred to disrupt the protagonist’s plans. The protagonist was in active pursuit of his or her goals and moving purposefully in one direction for much of Act I; then !something unexpected happens that forces our hero to change course. !Example: Dr. Kimble sets out to find the One-Armed Man in The Fugitive. !ACT II This is the middle half of your script. Your story’s main conflict resides here. Syd Field called this section “Confrontation,” Blake Snyder called it “Fun and Games” and, either way, that’s exactly what it is. Here’s where you take the premise and run with it. Act I should not be boring by any stretch of the imagination, but Act II must find a higher gear. In Act I, your hero and villain !trade jabs; after Plot Point #1, they exchange body blows. !MIDPOINT Act II is so big that Syd Field realized it had to be broken into two sections. The spot where the first half of Act II breaks into the second half is called !the Midpoint. Even the best musician can’t keep hitting the same note over and over again. If you don’t change tempo at regular intervals, the audience stops toe-tapping and starts checking their watches. So, after 30 or so pages of one kind of conflict, your plot needs a new wrinkle. For this reason, there is usually a !major revelation at the Midpoint. Often there is some pressing question or mystery hanging over the script’s first 60 pages. The characters and audience are operating in a fog of the unknown. At the Midpoint, at least one layer of that fog is cleared − revealing a new layer of fog. This is the pressing question or mystery that will sustain !our interest and drive the action through the second half of Act II. !Example: The “Sicilian speech” in True Romance. The midpoint scene raises the dramatic stakes and underscores how much !trouble our hero is really in. Then, in another 30 pages or so we reach… PLOT POINT #2
This is where Act II ends and Act III begins. Here the protagonist is generally brought to his or her lowest point. All seems lost. Our hopes are dashed as ! ! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !25
our hero absorbs a shocking defeat or faces seemingly insurmountable odds. Structurally, we’re in the home stretch now. Our hero is in a real fix, with only !30 pages or less to resolve it! Example: In Rocky, boxer Rocky Balboa realizes he has no shot of winning !his fight against the champion, Apollo Creed. !ACT III The final 20-30 pages of your script. The climax and resolution of your story. After bringing the protagonist to a low point, the remainder of the script dramatizes how he or she digs deep, fights back and achieves victory (or !defeat, if you’re going for tragedy or a hard life lesson). !CLIMAX The capper, the crescendo, the grand finale. It’s Luke Skywalker blowing up the Death Star. It’s the final reversal of fortune, where your protagonist triumphs over formidable adversaries and overcomes seemingly !insurmountable obstacles. Throughout Act III, you say goodbye to your characters and wrap up your story’s loose ends. All questions big and small that were raised in Act I must be resolved by the time the credits roll. It all has to fit together in one nice little package. That’s the reason structure is so important. Used correctly, it !produces a powerful, propulsive narrative with a deeply satisfying conclusion. !How do you evaluate a script’s structure? Along with presentation, structure is one of the easiest elements to evaluate. !Why? Because it’s concrete. It’s self-evident. It’s either there or it’s not. As I read a script, I look for the key moments and turning points. Is there a strong inciting incident? When does it occur? Am I still wondering on page !15 when the story is really going to get started? Judging structure is easy because it’s about placement and position inside the script. Where does the writer introduce new characters? What happens halfway through the script? Is it significant? Does it change the direction of the narrative? Is the hero at his lowest point at the beginning of the final !20 or 30 pages? Are major characters being introduced after page 30? ! It’s like the old saying, “A place for everything and everything in its place.” !Some tips on how to build a solid structure… Start with your logline or concept. Write it out on a sheet of paper and prepare a blank structure diagram beneath it. Here’s where you begin to turn that fabulous logline into a full-fledged story. A good logline will tell ! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !26
you where to start and who and what you need to establish in Act I, whether it’s a cop who’s guilt-ridden over the death of his partner or a nerdy teenager !with a golden singing voice. Now you need to think about how you’re going to end your script. Does the movie climax in a big shootout? A triumphant school musical number? Once you know where and how the hero triumphs (or fails) in the end, you can then work backwards to the Third Act break. If the hero ultimately succeeds, ask yourself what is the furthest point possible from that moment of triumph. !What would it take to make the prospect of victory seem impossible? Keep working backwards through the major moments of your story to fill in the remaining Plot Points on your structural diagram. What brought the hero to this low point? How did he get there? It’s all about connecting the dots. !Cause and effect. Once you have your structural diagram rock solid, create index cards for your movie. List each scene of your story on a card and place the cards in order, logically from point to point. You’re building your plot here. You’re starting to develop your characters. Move scenes around as necessary. Fill in the blanks as you find them. It’s often helpful to start at the end and work backwards !through your scenes until you’re at the very beginning of your story. Once you’ve created all your index cards, the scenes are all in place and the logical progression of your story is working, then it’s time to put something down on paper. No, it’s not time to start writing the script. It’s time to write !your treatment. A treatment is a summary of your story. Using your diagram and index cards as a guide, write what happens. Start small. At first your treatment may be only a couple of pages long, hitting only the key points. There is no universal template for a treatment, but it should include all the important structural elements: Inciting Incident, Plot Point #1, Midpoint, Plot Point #2 and Climax. You don’t need every scene or potential scene spelled out, but make sure you include enough information to connect each of the major beats listed above. In other words, your treatment should flow smoothly from beginning to end, !without obvious gaps. Just keep adding dramatic moments, character information and description until the story flows and makes sense. In fact, some professional writers continue adding description, actions and bits of dialogue until the treatment evolves into a first draft of the actual script. You should be able to see from your treatment whether the important scenes are really popping. The Inciting Incident, Plot Points, Midpoint and Climax are the dramatic peaks of your !script, so your most exciting, pivotal scenes should serve those key functions. Once your treatment is rock solid, then and only then is it time to start writing the script. But the good news is, by this point you’ll know your story and characters so well, writing the script will be easy and fun! Plus, you can ! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !27
begin this part of the writing process knowing that you’re sure to come out the other end with a strong, well-structured screenplay. ! !GOING BEYOND THREE ACT STRUCTURE After you’ve written a few screenplays and can recite Three Act Structure in your sleep, what next? Well, you could have a very successful screenwriting career with only Syd Field as your guide. But with structure, as with most things in life, there are several distinctly different schools of thought, and !maybe one of the others will suit you better. If the constraints of Three Act Structure are getting you down, check out Robert McKee’s Story. McKee looks at structure in a looser manner. According to him, a screenplay can have three, four, five or even more acts. McKee’s book is extremely popular, his seminars are widely attended, and !his teachings are highly respected among industry professionals. On the other side of the equation, there are teachers like Blake Snyder who, in his book Save the Cat, proposed an even tighter structural paradigm. Snyder created a 15-point beat sheet. With this beat sheet, you plot out nearly every single moment of your movie, from the first shot of your protagonist to the film’s final image. Beat sheets often produce excellent !results, and the writers who use them swear by them. Another structural model is the sequencing method outlined by Chris Soth in Million Dollar Screenwriting and Paul Gulino in Screenwriting: The Sequence Approach. This method breaks a script down into eight 10-15 page sequences or “mini movies.” Many screenwriters love this approach to structuring their scripts. They feel that focusing on small, bite-sized pieces of !the story makes the whole structuring process much easier and more doable. Over time, I suggest that you test all these approaches. With experience, you’ll learn what works best for you. Most importantly, you’ll start to view scripts and movies with an architect’s eye.
!Let me leave you with a little exercise… The next time you watch a successful movie by a great screenwriter, try to pick out the components of Three Act Structure we’ve discussed here. Regardless of genre, tone, or subject matter, you’ll quickly begin to see how the scenes work together to create that structure, and how seamlessly the finished film plays, carrying the audience smoothly and (seemingly) effortlessly from beginning to end.
Best of all, doing this exercise will allow you to get inside the mind of a William Goldman or Lawrence Kasdan, masters of the medium. There you may! well discover the insights you need to craft your own classic. – ML ! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !28 ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !About the Author… Michael Lee has served as a script reader for The Vine Entertainment, and as Creative Executive for the literary management firm AEI, where he helped develop the novels Demon Keeper by Royce Buckingham, Una Vida by Nicholas Bazen and Fire with Fire, by Allan Kahane. Mike currently works as a freelance script consultant and writer, and he frequently contributes articles on entertainment and writing to online publications. You can read his ongoing series on the Super Villains of the Marvel Cinematic Universe at ScriptMag.com. ! !
! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !29 ! ! ! PLOT! ! by Nick Sita “Houston, we have a problem.” ! − Jim Lovell, Apollo 13 (1995) ! Many people confuse the terms “plot” and “story” or use the two words interchangeably. From my perspective, it helps to think of “story” in the traditional sense − a piece of fiction that narrates a chain of events − while “plot” is a technical way to organize story elements to make them workable in !the screenplay form. !Why is plot so important? Plot is the engine that drives your screenplay forward. It provides the framework and context for your characters as they struggle, connect, grow and evolve. In order to have a successful screenplay, you need a plot that’s !lucid and engaging from start to finish. Perhaps the most basic, “top level” way to discuss plot is using the concept of !equilibrium: 1) Most stories begin with equilibrium. This doesn’t necessarily mean peace or something positive – we’re looking for some form of stability or stasis. The equilibrium at the beginning of Mad Max: Fury Road is the dictatorial, patriarchal society run by Immortan Joe, which regulates everything from reproduction to access to water. Equilibrium is established in Act I.
2) The next step is to upset the equilibrium. In Fury Road, this moment comes when Furiosa (Charlize Theron) deviates from her planned route and is revealed to have absconded with Immortan Joe’s brides. Her actions threaten !to dismantle the entire system. Equilibrium is upset near the end of Act I. 3) What follows is a journey towards a new equilibrium. In Fury Road, Furiosa and the brides search for a new home in the “Green Place.” When that turns out to be a fantasy, the only remaining option is to return to Joe’s citadel and carve out a new form of egalitarian, matriarchal government. This !journey unfolds over the course of Act II, with the climax occurring in Act III. 4) Finally, we end on that newly won equilibrium. In the denouement of Fury Road, we see Furiosa and the brides hailed as leaders and water flowing freely to the parched populace. This depiction of a new equilibrium is presented in a film’s final scene or sequence. ! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !30
Since screen stories usually unfold in three acts, let’s look at the vital !components of each act. Act I sets up your protagonist’s central problem and sets into motion the plot elements that will carry us through the rest of your story. The act should establish an objective to pursue and hint at the beginnings of a plan to reach !that objective. Think of the opening sequence of Sicario, where an FBI hostage rescue team enters a home in Arizona to find no living hostages, but scores of murdered cartel victims buried in the walls. The level of violence is shocking and serves to galvanize the protagonist’s goal to bring the killers to justice. The journey of Kate Macer (Emily Blunt) is set into motion in the after-action meeting, !when she is recruited into a shadowy anti-cartel operation led by the CIA. Act II should depict your protagonist or protagonists taking on a series of challenges while on a literal or metaphorical journey, the objectives of which were established in Act I. Your second act is a story unto itself and is all about dramatic conflict. You’ve introduced your protagonist and antagonist, established the bones of contention between them and established a goal for your protagonist to pursue. Now it’s time to show the protagonist working towards his or her goal while facing opposition every step of the way. This !is all the “hero’s journey” stuff you’ve likely read about elsewhere. Mad Max: Fury Road is a fine example of the hero’s journey in screen storytelling. In this case, we’ve got two protagonists – Max and Furiosa – risking everything to spirit Immortan Joe’s “brides” to the “Green Place” of Furiosa’s childhood memories. The roadblocks and reversals they face along the way are examples of using conflict to build tension and hold an audience’s !interest. Conflict is a vital aspect of your story’s “engine.” You’ll also want to introduce one or two subplots in Act II. While your primary plotline should focus on the protagonist’s pursuit of his or her goals, the !subplots generally serve to advance your themes. Consider Michael Mann’s crime-thriller masterpiece Heat. While the plot carries the action, the subplots effectively speak to the isolation of the two characters and their failings when it comes to interacting with “normal” people. Vincent Hanna (Al Pacino) struggles to save his crumbling marriage while Neil McCauley (Robert De Niro) makes fumbling attempts at romance !with a woman ignorant of his criminal background. Think of the subplot in Sicario, where Silvio (Maximiliano Hernandez), a small town Mexican cop – a dedicated family man by all accounts – serves as a drug mule for the cartel. His life and death speak to the bleakness of existence along the U.S./Mexican border in an age of increasing cartel violence. No one is immune to its corrupting influence. To paraphrase Alejandro (Benicio Del !Toro), this is a time for “wolves,” not sheep. ! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !31
Your second act should end with a major plot point that backs the main character into a corner and forces him or her to take drastic, decisive action. Look at the decision McCauley is faced with at the end of the second act of Heat. He knows the cops are on to him. Hanna tells him as much, but also gives him an out. He must decide between walking away clean or making one !final score and leaving the life with a hefty sack of cash. While it might not be the best course in life, in a screenplay it’s almost always preferable for your protagonist to select the more dangerous or difficult path. De Niro’s character in Heat decides to take on that final job no matter the risks. In Guardians of the Galaxy, the team of outer-space outlaws has the option to flee but instead decides to take on Ronan, which practically !guarantees their deaths. Act III contains your climax – the biggest scene or sequence in your script and the moment you’ve been building towards all along. This sequence must finally offer up the opportunity for your protagonist(s) to reach their goal(s). It’s Max and Furiosa’s decision to capture Joe’s citadel rather than living life on the run. It’s the Guardians’ final battle against Ronan to protect planet Xandar in Guardians of the Galaxy. It’s the decisive battle in the shell-pocked !town at the conclusion of Saving Private Ryan. Your climax should wrap up your plot’s loose ends and resolve the story as a whole. As cinema is a visual medium, the most successful climaxes opt for dynamic, powerful action and imagery over dialogue. Disarming a bomb, hand-to-hand combat with a nemesis, competing in a championship game and similarly decisive confrontations are the sort of climactic sequences that !tend to satisfy an audience. Once the climax has concluded your protagonist’s journey and resolved the central struggle, it’s time to show your characters enjoying the fruits of their labors in a moment of resolution. After holding their collective breath for two hours, your audience needs a chance to relax and share a victorious moment with your heroes, or in a tragic ending, a bittersweet final reflection after the !hero’s death or defeat. Picture Winthorpe and Billy Ray toasting on the tropical beach at the end of Trading Places. Think of Furiosa and the surviving brides ascendant as Max walks off into the sunset in Fury Road – a classic bit of imagery borrowed from the Hollywood Westerns of John Ford. Remember the battered, bloodied, yet victorious assassin Wick picking up a dog from the pound at !the end of John Wick. !How do you evaluate a script’s plot? Whether I evaluate a script for the PAGE Awards, a production company, TV network or studio, plot is always one of the most important factors in my assessment, especially in a genre script or something that is meant to be popular, “popcorn” entertainment. ! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !32 !In assessing a script’s plot, I ask myself the following questions: !1) Are the premise and central conflict clearly defined? Many scripts written by inexperienced screenwriters lack a clearly defined !premise and a powerful central conflict to drive the plot forward. !2) Are the protagonist’s goals and needs clear? Is it clear who the main characters are? What about the motivations that drive them to take action in pursuit of their goals? How are these wants and !needs directly connected to the protagonist’s journey? 3) Are the stakes high enough to engage and sustain the interest of !an audience? It’s important to set the stakes as high as possible – life or death, love or loneliness, wealth or poverty – in order to get the audience emotionally !invested in your protagonist’s journey. 4) Is there a believable, causal relationship between the characters !and their actions? Are your characters’ behaviors consistent with their natures and backstories? Do they react to stimuli in a logical, relatable human fashion? If a character is described as a brilliant investigator, do his actions live up to the hype over the course of the story? If a character is described as a daredevil, does he or !she act that way? !5) Do tension and conflict build as the plot progresses? Tension and conflict – the roadblocks placed in front of the protagonist – are the essence of an engaging story. A story where everything goes well for the protagonist or good things come too easily for him makes for a dull read. !Make things hard on your hero. A hard-fought victory is a satisfying one. !6) Does the story evoke an emotional response? Can we relate to your characters and the world they inhabit? Is their struggle something we can understand and empathize with? Do we root for their !success? !7) Will the audience be satisfied by the story’s conclusion? Does your hero’s journey culminate in a resolution that feels appropriate, given the scope of your script? Or does the ending feel too pat, unconvincing, unearned or unjustified? Does it leave the audience feeling cheated? Bewildered? Unfulfilled? ! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !33
!Some tips on how to craft a strong plot… Here are some of the key aspects of good plotting, along with some !techniques to craft a strong, compelling plot. !PREMISE While techniques for coming up with a rock ‘em sock ‘em premise were covered in a previous chapter, I can’t stress enough how closely your plot !is tied to its premise – a weak premise almost guarantees an iffy plot. Your premise must contain the potential to tell a story that will keep an audience on the hook over the course of two hours. The dramatic stakes !must be very high. Think in terms of huge obstacles and strong conflicts. In Sicario, a young, naïve FBI agent finds herself embroiled in a covert and likely illegal assassination plot against a Mexican cartel boss. In Saving Private Ryan, a team of Army Rangers is sent on a risky mission behind enemy lines to rescue a young soldier. In John Wick, a retired assassin embarks on a vendetta against the Russian mob after his dog is killed and !his prized muscle car is stolen. A strong premise is the vital cornerstone that holds our attention and generates dramatic situations throughout the script. If there isn’t enough juice in your premise, your plot is doomed to wander or jump the rails before !it ever reaches Act III. !ROADBLOCKS & OBSTACLES Giving your protagonist strong roadblocks, challenges and obstacles to overcome will keep your audience guessing and keep viewers fully invested !in your story and characters. Think of the sequence in Guardians of the Galaxy where the protagonists must escape a futuristic maximum-security prison in order to continue the !pursuit of their goal. In Sicario, recall the extremely tense sequence where the protagonist, her mysterious handlers, and a team of Delta operators encounter traffic – and two carloads of cartel assassins — as they attempt to escort a high-value !criminal back to the U.S. for questioning. !CATALYSTS Catalysts — also known as turning points — are vitally important to your plot and are the very essence of big-screen entertainment. These are moments when something unexpected and dramatic changes everything and drives the plot in a new direction. Catalysts can be generated by a shocking revelation, ! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !34
a disruptive new character added to the mix, a win that proves the hero has what it takes, or a crushing defeat that causes the protagonist to rethink his or her direction and actions. Your Inciting Incident, Plot Point #1, Midpoint, !Plot Point #2 and Climax should all be strong catalysts. Let’s look at the inciting incident in John Wick. The film’s retired-assassin protagonist (Keanu Reeves) is grappling with the recent death of his wife when he adopts a puppy and finally begins to emerge from his depression by bonding with the lovable pooch. This positive progress comes to a tragic halt when masked thugs beat him bloody and kill his dog in the process of stealing his prized muscle car. As a result of this fateful incident, Wick returns to the !life of violence he left behind. In Sicario, Kate is sure she’s going to be dressed down in the wake of a botched hostage-rescue effort, but instead is recruited into a shadowy multi- !agency task force with mysterious goals. In Mad Max: Fury Road, Max (Tom Hardy) is prepared to go his own way after literally breaking his chains, but changes his mind when he learns that Furiosa is risking her life to transport the group of enslaved brides – one of !whom is pregnant – to safety, far from the clutches of Immortan Joe. These catalyzing moments — and the unexpected twists and turns they !produce — keep audience members glued to their seats. !CAUSALITY Causality is the relationship between an action (cause) and a subsequent reaction (effect). In order to have maximum impact and story continuity, !every action should have an equal/opposite reaction. When constructing your plot, it’s important that every effect or reaction has a clear cause. Conversely, decisive action and causal events in your story should elicit an appropriate reaction or effect. The relationship between cause and effect is vital in terms of making your characters’ behavior logical and !believable, and also helps create a sense of forward momentum. Consider an early sequence in Mad Max: Fury Road. Furiosa has diverged from her path to retrieve gas from outside the citadel, raising concerns among her superiors. It’s soon revealed that she has taken Immortan Joe’s slave brides with her. This action of hers is followed by a logical reaction: Joe musters an army to go after her and retrieve the brides. What follows are scenes and sequences that are linked in a “causal chain,” a series of actions !and reactions that raise the stakes and build towards the film’s climax. !BACKSTORY Backstory is information about a character’s past that helps an audience understand the character and understand what’s at stake over the course ! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !35
of the character’s journey. Planting unresolved issues (or a dark past) via backstory is a great way to build tension and create a need for resolution in !your climax. Consider the titular character in John Wick. In the wake of the inciting incident – the theft of Wick’s car and the killing of his dog – we learn that the protagonist is a retired assassin and perhaps the most talented killer New York City’s underworld has ever seen. Wick’s backstory sets the stage for an ultra- !violent revenge tale. Mad Max: Fury Road opens with narration from Max, wherein he informs the audience that people were counting on him and he let them down. Based on the accompanying imagery, we assume those people died as a result of Max’s inaction. This choice morsel of backstory effectively sets up Max’s journey in the film. Over the course of Act II, he transitions from a loner !to someone willing to risk his life so that others may be free. In Guardians of the Galaxy, Peter Quill (Chris Pratt) and Gamora (Zoe Saldana) trade backstories as a means of bonding. Peter says his Walkman is the only remaining connection he has to his mother, thus humanizing him in the face of a would-be paramour. Gamora, softened by Peter’s personal revelation, tells the story of how Thanos killed her family and turned her into a living weapon.
When it comes to crafting a believable and naturalistic plot, it’s important to seed backstory throughout your script rather than front-loading it in Act I or saving it all for the end. Not only does a measured approach prevent exposition overload, which no reader or viewer appreciates, it also affords !you the opportunity to create powerful dramatic reveals. Think of the now famous and shocking reveal in Chinatown, where Evelyn Mulwray (Faye Dunaway) reveals that the missing girl is both her daughter and her sister. This scene not only makes our collective skin crawl, it also accentuates the depravity of the film’s central villain, played by John Huston, and speaks to themes of the inherent dishonesty of authority figures and the !helplessness of average people in the face of institutionalized evil. !EXPOSITION While backstory is critical when it comes to understanding character motivations, exposition is vital information your audience needs to understand !the world of your movie, its plot and the events contained within it. Difficulty in conveying exposition arises when the information would already be known by the characters and thus would not naturally be repeated in dialogue. Scenes where characters spoon-feed exposition to the audience feel artificial and contrived. Try to avoid clunky, exposition-heavy dialogue by interspersing tidbits of critical information throughout your script and conveying exposition primarily through action and images. ! ! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !36
Another technique for sneaking in exposition is to include it in “briefing scenes.” Picture scenes where a senior FBI agent briefs his or her team about the methods of a serial killer, scenes where news reporters or anchors appear on television in the background, or scenes where a teacher or mentor figure !conveys info to a class or to a “newbie” character. A fine example of pro-level exposition can be found in Fury Road. When Max’s blood type is mentioned in passing in Act I, astute viewers will realize this information will likely be important later in the film. Sure enough, Max is able to give Furiosa a life-saving transfusion amidst the masterfully violent !chaos of the film’s climax. For an example of what not to do, consider the ending of Alfred Hitchcock’s classic Psycho. The tension and terror Hitchcock built up over the course of this chilling story are undermined by a veritable exposition-a-palooza in the film’s denouement, where a doctor spells out exactly what was wrong with !Norman Bates. A more modern example of what to avoid can be found in John Wick, where Viggo’s numerous speeches about the dangers posed by Wick become repetitive, corny, and wholly unnecessary. We don’t need to hear him tell us !that Wick is a badass killer when we can see it, repeatedly, with our own eyes. !TENSION & DRAMATIC STAKES A sense of escalating tension is vitally important when it comes to holding your audience’s interest. How do you escalate tension? By upping the !dramatic stakes. In Fury Road, the reveal that the “Green Place” no longer exists puts the protagonists in a terrible yet highly dramatic position. They’re faced with two choices: either flee into the great unknown and likely die of thirst or !starvation, or turn around and take the fight to Immortan Joe and his army. In David Ayer’s World War II film Fury, a harrowing battle with a superior German Tiger tank results in Don “Wardaddy” Collier (Brad Pitt) and his team realizing that their Sherman tank is the only one left to fend off an enemy advance and protect the Allied Army. With their radio destroyed and the tank and crew battered and bruised, our protagonists are forced into a seemingly hopeless battle against insurmountable odds. Tension is cranked up even !further when the tank hits a land mine, making maneuvering impossible. This sets the stage for a decisive, violent climax, as the dramatic stakes are !pushed to the limit. !DRAMATIC IRONY This device, a writer’s best friend, engages the audience on a visceral level. Dramatic irony is when the audience knows something that the characters do ! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !37
not. It draws the audience into the world of the movie, creating the illusion !that we’re personally involved in the story. You can use dramatic irony to connect the audience to your characters on an emotional level and to invoke empathic reactions such as laughter, anger, pity or fear. In countless horror films and thrillers, for example, when the audience knows the killer is in the next room but the character (usually the next victim) does not, the viewer instinctively feels afraid for the unwitting !victim and yearns to warn him or her about the looming danger. A well-constructed plot benefits your script in many other ways, as well. The bigger your story’s obstacles and the greater the tension, the faster and more exciting the pace of your movie will be. The more intense the dramatic stakes and the more interesting your characters’ backstories are, the more we’ll care !about your characters. As you continue to read through these chapters, you’ll find many of the same points repeated and reiterated in different ways. That’s because all aspects of screenwriting are ultimately interwoven and interrelated. Structure affects plot, plot affects characters, characters affect dialogue, dialogue affects pacing, and so on. Of course, premise affects everything. Begin with a compelling, conflict-laden premise and you’ll find it much easier to craft a !compelling plot. – NS ! ! !
! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !38 !! ! ! ! ! ! ! !About the Author… Nick Sita started his professional life as a journalist and television producer in New York City. After moving to Los Angeles with a feature script, he found work in story departments at Showtime, Fox TV Studios, and NBC/Universal, where he has covered features, episodics, manuscripts and books. He loves working with writers and gravitates towards genre scripts, particularly action, sci-fi,! horror, comedy and crime stories. !
! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !39 ! ! ! PACING! ! by Helen Truong “Traveling through hyperspace ain’t like dusting crops, boy.” ! − Han Solo, Star Wars (1977) ! Pacing is one of the most intangible elements of a screenplay. In general terms, pacing is all about the speed and flow of a script, but what makes it particularly difficult to quantify is that it’s inextricably tied to every other element of a screenplay: structure, plot, character development, dialogue, !dramatic stakes, and the parceling out of exposition and information. !Why is pacing so important? Film is a temporal medium − meaning that it’s experienced over a specific period of time. In a well-paced movie, the story is always being driven forward toward the Act III climax, but without ever sacrificing character development or subplots. Strong pacing keeps the audience glued to their seats. It plays on the audience’s hopes and fears, giving both due time at the right moments in the story. And regardless of the actual length of a movie, appropriate pacing will make viewers feel like they lose track of time !as they watch the story unfold. One of the great misconceptions in this business is that pacing can be “fixed” !by simply cutting the script. But think about it…. Have you ever watched a movie that was nearly three hours long, yet time seemed to fly by because the characters were so engaging and the story so exciting, dramatic or fun? A movie that was so good, even then you didn’t want it to end? Conversely, have you ever !watched a 90-minute movie that felt like it dragged on forever? While it’s true that screenwriting is a ruthlessly economical medium, and an inflated page count is often an indicator of pacing issues, problems with a script’s pace tend to be more complex than simply a question of overall length. Problems in pacing are almost always a symptom of fundamental !issues in other areas of the screenplay. !PACING AND STRUCTURE Poor structure often causes pacing problems. In a well-structured screenplay, the major act breaks provide clear and distinct plot turns that elevate the stakes and ratchet up the pace. ! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !40
The first act break should introduce a twist and a new direction for the story. The midpoint should be a point of no return, where the stakes escalate and the protagonist must take action that will have significant consequences in what is to come. Generally, the second act break should find the protagonist at his or her lowest point, as defeat seems imminent, while the third act culminates in a climax that resolves the story’s key dramatic questions. If any of these key story turns are ineffective or nonexistent, the movie will start to !feel like it’s meandering aimlessly or simply treading water. One example of how pacing is adversely affected by poor structure occurs within The Matrix trilogy. The first Matrix had a flawless three-act structure that closely followed the classic hero myth. But the second two films were diminished by convoluted structures, riddled with far too many subplots and unclear act breaks. Although all three movies featured the same protagonist and sci-fi world, the pacing smoothly accelerates toward the climax in the first movie, while it lags and even stalls in long stretches of the second two ! films. Here, poor structure is primarily to blame for poor pacing. !PACING AND PLOT Another cause of pacing problems is weak plotting. Pacing flags in a movie that has a thin or illogical plot. This is the case with many character-driven movies, which tend to rely too heavily on internal character issues without !fully externalizing those problems through story events and decisive action. On the other hand, pacing also suffers in movies with too many plot convolutions. This is often the case with overblown action movies that don’t provide enough time for character development or allow the character relationships to deepen. Not enough is happening with the characters to keep the audience engaged, while too much is happening in terms of pure action and events. This puts the movie in constant overdrive, but does nothing to get the audience emotionally invested in the characters. As a result, viewers become just as bored by all the furious activity as they would !be by a movie with a lethargic pace. A well-plotted story shows the key events instrumental to the major dramatic question of the movie, which will finally be answered in the climax. Without a strong plot engine, a script has nothing to drive the pace. Even a character- driven movie needs a strong plot, hinging on key decisions the protagonist must make. Without this compelling, interconnected sequence of events that constantly brings the protagonist closer to (and farther from) his or her goal, !the momentum of the story will suffer and time will drag for the audience. A good example of how strong plotting can drive the pace is The Usual Suspects. The film carefully builds suspense through the use of a mystery, posing the question: “Who is Keyser Soze?” The mystery builds with each new plot twist, until the final revelation pays it all off. The story pulls us relentlessly forward, as we’re increasingly intrigued by the mystery and invested in the characters. ! ! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !41 !PACING AND DIALOGUE A frequent cause of pacing problems, particularly among rookie screenwriters, is over-writing − especially with regard to dialogue. In many spec scripts, pacing issues can be directly traced to over-long stretches of dialogue or !conversations without a clear and focused purpose. Good dialogue reveals character, advances plot and/or delivers information, and ideally does all three of these things at once in a blissfully succinct fashion. When dialogue isn’t successful in accomplishing at least one of those goals, the pacing suffers and the movie begins to drag. Even dialogue that does convey exposition or reveal character can slow the pace of the film if the exposition comes too early or too late, or if the characters are speaking in !long monologues. Conversely, if at the right point in the story the writer has carefully crafted dialogue to reveal another layer of a character or to reveal two characters’ changing feelings for each other, the pace seems to accelerate, as we absorb !new information and become increasingly invested in the story. For example, watch the film Jerry Maguire and you’ll see how the dialogue always has a purpose, whether it’s to actively establish the contrast between Jerry and the other agents he works with, to set up character arcs for Jerry, !Dorothy and Rod, or to reveal the conflicts between the characters. !PACING AND DRAMATIC STAKES The escalation of the story’s dramatic stakes (whether physical, psychological or emotional) also plays a large part in a movie’s pacing. Generally, if the established stakes aren’t high enough from the beginning, the pacing of the movie will feel sluggish. And if the stakes aren’t continually raised throughout the course of the story, the pacing won’t have enough steam to carry the !audience into the third act climax. The dramatic stakes in your story can be anything − the pursuit of love, the potential loss of money, dignity, life or limb − but whatever the stakes are, they must be of paramount importance to the protagonist. This helps the audience identify with your lead and become invested in your story. In most effective movies, the stakes evolve as the story progresses, and usually become even more dire as the protagonist is pushed to the limit. In less effective movies, the stakes may perhaps be “big” enough, but don’t ever become personal to the protagonist. This prevents the story from ever truly !picking up dramatic momentum. Two examples of how strong, escalating dramatic stakes help create great pacing: What starts out as a professional opportunity for Rocky Balboa in Rocky becomes a point of dignity and pride for our hero as the film reaches its climax. What begins as a job in Erin Brockovich becomes a highly ! personal case for our heroine, as she grapples with life-and-death issues. ! ! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !42
!How do you evaluate a script’s pacing? Pacing is more of an overall “feel” rather than a concrete aspect of the script. Yes, overly long descriptive paragraphs and repetitive beats are a clear sign of pacing problems, as are long stretches of dialogue and excessively long !page counts. However, pacing is much more subjective than that. It’s all about the perception of time. Though admittedly a rare experience, I’ve read scripts that were 140 pages long in which every scene was necessary to tell the story and all of the dialogue provided fresh conflicts and revelations into character. I cared about the characters and what happened to them. I lost track of time as I read. So, despite the fact that the script was technically too long, I gave !it a high score for pace. Screenwriting teachers and consultants tend to be very strict when they instruct beginning screenwriters on the rules, only because they are rarely broken successfully. That said, the thing that really matters is how well you can engage your reader and whether you can craft your story in such a way that the two hours (or however long it takes to read your script) feels like nothing. In scripts with strong pacing, I find it impossible to put the script !down. I simply have to know what happens next. !Some tips on how to establish effective pacing… One of the great masters of pacing was none other than Alfred Hitchcock. In his films, the juxtaposition of dread and surprise, slow dramatization and abrupt shock are classic examples of how to pace a story. Hitchcock took complete control of the audience’s emotions − and the clock of perception − !and gave us one unforgettable film after another. Read your own script with a critical eye. Imagine the audience’s experience of your movie for the first time. What are they feeling? What do you want them to feel? Are there long blocks of expositional dialogue that weigh your !movie down? Are there any “filler” scenes or scenes that seem to drag? As the writer, you are attempting to orchestrate a seamless cinematic dream that will evoke strong emotions from your audience. The trick is to tell your story and reveal your characters in a way that makes the audience forget !about everything but the world you’ve created for the entire length of the film. To help your pacing, look for ways to infuse humor into your story. That always improves the pace.
Also look for ways to add mystery and suspense − deliberately withholding information or discrediting the characters to build the audience’s desire for answers. Though most obviously utilized in thriller and horror movies, mystery and suspense can be employed in a multitude of ways in nearly ! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !43
every kind of movie. To create mystery, pose a compelling question that will pique the interest of the audience, then withhold the answer to that question until late in the film. To build suspense, slow the pace and draw out the !moment before a key event to heighten the drama. Take a look at the pacing in Reservoir Dogs. Quentin Tarantino masterfully slows down certain scenes to draw out the tension just before delivering the main dramatic hit. For example, he spends a good deal of time on the moments leading up to the torture scene. This builds the audience’s sense of dread and empathy, while also underscoring Tim Roth’s character dilemma !before he makes the decision to shoot the torturer. Pacing is often thought of only with regard to speed. However, the writers who have the most control over pacing know when to slow down and take advantage of the moment before the big moment to maximize dramatic impact. Though pacing as a whole should accelerate towards the climax, within that steady forward motion there are hills and valleys − opportunities !to fine-tune the emotional experience of your movie. If you master all the other aspects of screenwriting discussed in this book, that will take you a long way toward writing a well-paced screenplay. Give us characters we care about, create a well-structured plot with high dramatic stakes, deliver some exciting visual moments and crisp, smart dialogue, and time will feel like it flies by for your readers as we become lost in the world !of your story. – HT ! !
! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !44 !! ! ! ! ! ! ! !About the Author… Helen Truong is a graduate of NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts. She has been the recipient of several prestigious screenwriting awards and fellowships, and has worked as a professional script reader and story analyst for such companies as Carmichael Films and Denis Leary’s Apostle Pictures in New York, and for Robert Cort Productions, UTA, Nickelodeon Movies, Paramount Pictures, MGM, United Artists and Amazon Studios in L.A. Helen has written scripts! for Disney, Occupant Films and the WB network. ! !
! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !45 ! ! ! CHARACTERS! by Dwayne Alexander! Smith “See, I’m not a monster. I’m just ahead of the curve.” − Joker, The Dark Knight (2008) ! ! The single most essential element of any great screenplay? Great characters.
The quality of the characters in your script is more important than dialogue, structure, pacing, and even plot. Those elements are very important, without a doubt, but if you don’t have characters that the audience will care about !and relate to, none of the rest matters. !Why are great characters so important? Audiences bond with great characters because they possess motivations, desires and flaws that everyone can identify with. Be it a hero’s drive to overcome impossible odds and achieve amazing success or a villain’s willingness to defy authority to satisfy his lust for power and wealth, these are primal human traits we all share. When we empathize with a character in this way, we become invested in his or her journey on an emotional level. We care about the character, and we care what happens to them. Thus, we !become caught up in the movie. Think of your favorite movies. Most likely, the reason you’re drawn to those films is because you fell in love with the characters. The most beloved movies of all time all have wonderful heroes: Luke Skywalker, Indiana Jones, Rocky Balboa, Katniss Everdeen, Ellen Ripley, Dorothy Gale. The best movies also have fantastic villains: Darth Vader, Agent Smith, Hans Gruber, Hannibal Lecter, Miranda Priestly, Annie Wilkes. In fact, these characters are so memorable that I didn’t even name the movies they appeared in and I bet !you knew every one of them. Can you imagine what those movies would be like if you didn’t care about their protagonists? If we didn’t love Rocky Balboa and want desperately for him to win, Rocky would be just another boxing movie. If we didn’t empathize with Dorothy’s simple desire to return home, The Wizard of Oz !would just be a very colorful kid’s film. !How do you evaluate a script’s characters? As I read a script, I break the characters down into three main types: Protagonist, Antagonist and Supporting Characters. ! ! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The! Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !46 !THE PROTAGONIST Also known as the hero. It goes without saying that your protagonist is your most important character. This is who the audience must bond with and cheer !for. If the audience fails to connect with your protagonist, you’re lost. !Here are the qualities your protagonist should possess: 1) Your protagonist must have a clear goal that the audience will !sympathize with. The key words in that sentence are “clear” and “sympathize.” “Clear” because if the audience doesn’t understand what’s at stake, they won’t care what happens. “Sympathize” because if the audience doesn’t share and support !your hero’s goal, they’ll get bored really fast. Rocky wants to win the championship. Luke wants to rescue the princess. James Bond wants to stop the mad scientist from blowing up the world. !All of these goals are easy to understand and easy to cheer for. By contrast, here’s an example of a protagonist that probably wouldn’t work. Imagine Bill Gates wants to win a million dollars because he has never won anything before and he thinks that winning a lottery would be really cool. Would you want to sit through a film about a billionaire trying to win a million dollars because he thinks it’s cool? I’m guessing no. This might make for a !good antagonist or supporting character, but it won’t work for your lead. !2) Your protagonist must be active. Your hero should drive your plot, taking decisive actions at every turn to determine the outcome of your story. Indiana Jones swims after a Nazi submarine. Ripley goes back for Newt without the Marines. Your hero’s plans might get fouled up, but a good hero finds another way to succeed. !Overcoming obstacles is what being a hero is all about. !3) Your protagonist must be likable. Some people may argue with this one, but in general, audiences like heroes that they would love to spend time with in real life. Someone they can imagine being buddies with. Who wouldn’t want to hang out with James Bond? It just stands to reason that if you don’t like a character, you’re probably not going to give a damn whether or not he achieves his goals.
4) Your protagonist must have unique characteristics.
In Deadpool, Wade Wilson can’t help turning everything – even his own cancer, disfigurement or heartbreak – into a joke. In Mad Max: Fury Road, Imperator Furiosa makes every word count. And Alejandro Gillick in Sicario acts as though nothing – nothing – affects him in the slightest, whether it’s ! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !47
an imminent threat to him or his own terrible acts of revenge. Specific, unique qualities like this make your lead character memorable.
!5) Your protagonist should be in almost every scene of your movie. Many novice screenwriters make the mistake of cutting away from their hero too often and for too long. But how many scenes are there in Rocky where Rocky does not appear? How many scenes in Raiders of the Lost Ark do not include Indiana Jones? Think about your favorite movies. How many scenes do not feature the hero? Your protagonist is your audience’s guide through your story. We experience the journey from his or her point of view. So if you must cut away from your hero, do so only briefly.
!THE ANTAGONIST Everyone loves a great villain. But what makes a great villain? Surprisingly, !some of the same elements that make a great hero also apply to the villain. !Here are the qualities your antagonist should possess: !1) Your antagonist must have a clear goal. The audience might not know right away what the villain’s ultimate goal is, but you as the writer had better know. Sometimes a villain’s goal changes during the course of the movie, but each goal should always be crystal clear. Hans Gruber wants to catch that pesky John McClane. That’s not Hans’ initial goal, of course, but it’s a goal that’s very clearly established during the !movie. Later, we find out his true goal, which is also very strong and specific. !2) Your antagonist must be active. Just like the hero, a good villain is always taking decisive action to achieve his goal. He’s the one making the decisions, not his goons. Everything a goon or !henchman does should be ordered by the villain. !3) Your antagonist must be more than a match for your hero. Your villain should actually be superior in strength and/or intelligence to your protagonist. All the cards should seem to be stacked in the villain’s favor. This forces your hero to grow during the course of the movie − to rise to the occasion and defeat his own weakness, as well as his nemesis. There are so many great examples of this in movies. Luke vs. Darth Vader. Neo vs. !Agent Smith. Ripley vs. the Alien Queen. The list goes on and on. !4) Your antagonist should not be all bad. This one’s a little more subtle. Think about it. Nobody is all bad − unless they’re a comic book character. The best villains are complex characters. Their dark deeds are motivated, and they have at least one good quality. ! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !48
Hannibal Lecter was very charming to Clarice. And Belloq wasn’t a raving maniac, he was just Indiana Jones’ ruthless rival. Belloq actually had a lot of !respect for Indy. My favorite example of this is in the classic Western Shane. The antagonist is a cattleman named Ryker. He’s determined to force the homesteader Starrett off his land. Ryker’s a very bad dude, but there’s a great scene where he explains his motives. From Ryker’s point of view, he’s completely in the right. At one point, Ryker genuinely tries to make friends with Starrett. In another, he plots Starrett’s murder. In my opinion, this complexity makes Ryker one of the best movie villains of all time. If you haven’t seen Shane, I highly !recommend it. It has some of the best characters ever put on film. !SUPPORTING CHARACTERS Your supporting characters (i.e. best friend, love interest, sister, boss) must each be portrayed in a vivid, memorable way. Each should stand out as separate and distinct. And despite the fact that you have less time to !develop these characters, they still need to feel like real people. Most importantly, each of your supporting characters must have a good reason for being in the movie. Many scripts by novice screenwriters include too many unnecessary characters. The rule of thumb? If a character doesn’t !serve a story purpose, that character should be cut. !Some tips on how to create great characters… In order to design truly great characters − characters that jump off the page − you have to add depth and dimension. There’s a simple technique you can use to give a character depth. Do this work before writing your script, and it will !make your characters live and breathe. !CHARACTER BACKSTORIES The secret is to create a full life history, or “backstory,” for each of your key characters. Start from the character’s birth and write out all the key moments in his or her life right up until the start of your story.
Where was she born? Did she grow up with both parents or just her mom? Was she adopted? Was she an only child? Where did she go to school? What are her favorite TV shows? Most importantly, what are her goals and !motivations? What drives her? What is she determined to achieve, and why? That might sound excessive, but once you’ve done this work, guess what? You’ve created a real person. Most of the specific details you come up with will probably never make it into your screenplay, but they will inform everything you write about that character. They will affect his or her voice, personality, motivations and actions, and it’s these details that will make each of your characters distinct. ! ! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !49
If your character was born in the South, he’s going to speak differently than someone who was raised in the Bronx. If he grew up with a houseful of sisters, he’s going to treat women a certain way. If he grew up poor, he’s going to have a different attitude about money than someone who grew up !with a silver spoon in his mouth. The more important a character is to your story, the more detailed his or her life history should be. For your main characters, I suggest you write at least two pages of history on each. Just create enough of a backstory to fill up two full pages. It’s good to have a set goal like that because it forces you !to come up with more details. For secondary characters, one page is usually enough, but make sure to answer all the key questions about the characters’ personal history, goals !and motivations. !NAMING YOUR CHARACTERS Character names are extremely important. Some writers just slap any ol’ name on a character. I think that’s a huge mistake. They’re missing out on !an opportunity to add another facet to their characters’ personalities. Some writers think it’s only important to give thought to names if you’re writing a larger-than-life character, like Indiana Jones, Neo or Luke Skywalker. I disagree. I think that it’s equally important to find the right-sounding name !for every type of character. Even for a more typical character, like a cop. For example, “John Green” could be a cop’s name, but it’s missing something. Let’s change the last name to McClane. McClane’s an Irish name. We associate Irish-Americans with New York City cops. “John McClane” is a nice, strong Irish-American name and a great cop name. “Marty McFly” evokes speed and adventure in a subtle way. “Peter Venkman” sounds like someone !who would be a bit of a smart aleck. The trick is to come up with a realistic name that still sounds exactly like the character’s personality, so that every time the audience hears that name, they subconsciously make the association.
Here are some examples from a project I developed: For a clever con man, I chose the last name “Keane.” For the meanest cop in the NYPD, I went with !“Lyon.” When you read and hear those names, what do they evoke to you? It really pays to put a little thought into what you name your characters. ! Details like this will make them leap off the page. !SPECIFIC CHARACTER QUIRKS Since supporting characters don’t have as much screen time to endear themselves to the audience, you as the writer have to find ways to make that ! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !50
connection more quickly. One trick is to give your supporting characters a specific quirk or a prop that establishes them as a certain type in an instant.
When Neo meets the Oracle in The Matrix, she’s baking cookies, and she delivers her wisdom like a wise grandmother. In Aliens, Hudson expresses his fear through humor. Besides being a two-foot tall Jedi warrior, Yoda talks !backwards. I only recommend using this “quirk trick” with supporting characters. Sometimes when it’s applied to the main character in a film it can come !across as heavy-handed, because we spend so much time with the lead. !WRITE WHAT YOU KNOW One of the best ways to create strong characters is to base them on the people around you. As a writer, you should be constantly observing all the real life characters you encounter every day. The grumpy guy at work. Your weird uncle. That creepy neighbor you can’t stand. Lift what’s best and what’s worst from the real human beings around you and use those qualities !in your story. If you take the time to develop interesting, complex characters before you start writing your script, you’ll find the payoff will be magical. Writing your screenplay will become a breeze, because the characters you’ve developed will come to life and begin to speak for themselves. – DS !
! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !51 ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !About the Author… Dwayne Alexander Smith has been working as a professional screenwriter for more than a dozen years. He has sold six spec screenplays and has been employed by studios for numerous rewrite assignments. Dwayne is also a producer, and he recently produced the features Bleed and Triple Threat. His first novel, a thriller titled “Forty Acres,” was published in 2015 by Atria Books, an imprint of Simon & Schuster. He was honored with a NAACP Award for Outstanding Literary Work by a Debut Author. ! ! ! ! !
! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !52 ! ! ! DIALOGUE! by Scott! Honea “Talk to me, Goose.” ! − Maverick, Top Gun (1986) ! Dialogue, by its literal definition, is simply a conversation between two or more people. But screenplay dialogue is very different. There is no room for filler in a 100-page script. For that reason, good screenplay dialogue contains all of the important elements of a conversation and none of the !unimportant parts. Good screenplay dialogue includes only the meat and potatoes − the most crucial information − and little else. It skips the “Hello, how are you?” and gets right to “I have your wife and child in my basement and if I don’t get !$10 million within 24 hours, they will die.” !Why is good dialogue so important? Good dialogue engages the audience. Gets us interested in your characters. !Pulls us into the world of your story. Can you have a good screenplay without good dialogue? Maybe, if your story and concept are strong enough. But will it be a great screenplay? In my opinion, no. The ability to write high-quality dialogue sets the professional screenwriter apart from the amateur. Brilliant dialogue elevates !a script to a professional level, and that’s where you want your script to be. Good screenplay dialogue does two things:
1) It reveals important information about your characters.
! 2) It moves the plot forward. !Poor dialogue serves neither of those purposes. Mediocre dialogue fulfills one or both purposes in a very obvious way, calling !attention to itself by being overly expository. But good dialogue gives us vital information and advances the story without the reader even realizing it. At its best, it also reveals character, !introduces conflict and raises the story’s dramatic stakes. ! © 2010, 2017 Production Arts Group, LLC – All Rights Reserved Published for the PAGE International Screenwriting Awards pageawards.com The Insiders’ Guide to Screenwriting Page !53
Some examples of bad dialogue? Long monologues that are stilted and expositional − speeches the writer included simply to explain some piece of information to the reader. Characters chattering on ad nauseam about things unrelated to the plot. Characters saying things to each other that real people would never say. Characters whose voices all sound the same (usually exactly !like the voice of the writer). !How do you evaluate a script’s dialogue? The first thing I want to see is a good flow. Does the dialogue roll off the tongue? Does it sound natural? Does it sound like real people having a conversation, or does it just sound like information the writer wants to share !with the audience? Do each of the characters have a unique voice? Then I look for a higher degree of execution and intent. Does the dialogue employ subtext? Does it work on more than one level? Is it nuanced and layered, or is it too “on the nose”? I’m looking for an almost transparent quality to the dialogue. Its purpose should not be immediately noticeable as I’m reading. The scenes just flow naturally, and the dialogue drives the !plot forward while drawing me into the characters and their story. Another thing I look for is a script that effectively balances dialogue with action. I don’t want to see an entire page with only dialogue and no action. Nor do I want to see large blocks of action go on for pages at a time without any dialogue. Too many long monologues or speeches are another no-no. While they can be very effective at the right moment (see my example from !Sideways below), monologues have to be earned. The dialogue should also suit the genre of your screenplay. If you’re writing a comedy, your dialogue better be funny. If you’re writing a drama, your dialogue needs to make the audience feel something emotionally. If you’re writing an action comedy, your dialogue has to advance the plot in a witty but succinct manner. If you’re writing a historical biopic, your dialogue should !sound historically accurate. Whatever your genre, the dialogue needs to sparkle! You need to give us some of those “movie trailer moments” that will set your script apart and help !get your movie made. !Some movies that did it right and how they did it… I’d like to share a couple of examples of what I personally think is extremely well written dialogue. My first example is a character-revealing snippet from Sideways, by Alexander Payne and Jim Taylor. It appears near the midpoint, during our protagonist’s first date with his love interest, Maya.