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in play in Sexual incidents

1. Domination and control

As with other forms of , most scenarios are not about sex per se, but are about domination and control. 2. Victims blamed for what is not their fault

And as in other cases, such as , victims often find themselves blamed for the behaviour of the perpetrator in a sort of cruel twist of fate.

Indeed, in speaking to victims, sometimes they themselves see some sort of culpability on their part – “perhaps I smiled too much”, “perhaps I dressed in an inviting way”, “perhaps my friendliness was misunderstood” - are fairly common reactions. 3. Silencing of victims

The problem with the victim feeling somehow to can lead to another common factor in sexual harassment – that of silencing the victim who would prefer not to share what happened, or report it. This creates a culture of silence. And we know that this is at the heart of silence in cases of sexual and other harassment. 4. Fears of consequences

Many victims report a wide range of fears which would include:

• Fear that they themselves will face being victimised, stigmatised or blamed; • Fear that they or the perpetrator will lose their jobs; • Fear of harming the family of the perpetrator; • Fear of rocking the boat at work; • Fear of a negative response from their partner at home; • Fear of bringing their employer negative publicity. 5. Delayed reporting

Another factor that contributes to the sensitive nature of sexual harassment cases is that if the victim does not report an incident/s speedily, people may infer that this means they did not find the behaviour offensive. This may not be the case at all. In a recent case, one employee did not report the behaviour until, some months later, she heard that a colleague had also been harassed. She was then encouraged to make a statement. 6. ‘Himpathy’

One writer on the subject of sexual harassment has coined the term ‘Himpathy’ which refers to the disproportionate amount of concern given to the effect of the matter on the alleged perpetrator. Many of us who have worked in this field can attest to this, whether it is at a covert or overt level. The emphasis here is disproportionate concern. 7. Senior people

Another aspect that can impact on a victim feeling they are to blame and therefore silenced is the fact that the alleged perpetrator may be a very senior person in a respected role. This may also contribute to the victim thinking that they would not be believed as it would be their word against an influential person’s word. However, we know that in many cases of sexual harassment, there is a power differential at play.

In addition, there is what some researchers call ‘moral licensing’. This refers to the phenomenon that "When under the threat that their next action might be (or appear to be) morally dubious, individuals can derive confidence from their past moral behaviour, such that an impeccable track record increases their propensity to engage in otherwise suspect actions."1 This plays out not only in the choice that a perpetrator might make but in how we ‘let them off the hook’ - when a person who has been revered for good deeds, is a role model etc. and then does something morally wrong, we ‘let them off the hook’ because of their past. 8. ‘Serial’ harassers

Related to the above is the concept of a ‘serial’ harasser. This means that the alleged perpetrator presents themselves as someone who would not be associated with sexual harassment – they may be happily married, attend church regularly, seem to be very respectful, and the like. The serial harasser is also clever about where he or she approaches another person – it is usually not in front of others and, if reported, it would be one person’s word against another’s, which may just feel too scary to deal with. The difficulty of ‘moral licensing’, as discussed above, also refers here. 9. Grooming

Some harassers will engage in progressive ‘grooming’ of a selected victim. This involves a carefully escalated series of remarks, gestures etc. starting with something pretty inoffensive, and gradually escalating to blatant harassment. Again, as with the ‘serial’ harassers discussed above, the harasser is likely to be careful about this and do it mainly in private.

1 https://www.businessinsider.com/what-moral-licensing-means-2017-11?IR=T

10. vs impact

Another factor that can lead to victim blaming and their consequent silencing is the issue of what is called the intention of the perpetrator vs the impact on the victim. We know that sexual harassment has a wide definition – it can range from sexual innuendos to sexual . We know that people can have different responses to the same behaviour, from dismissing the behaviour they have witnessed towards them, or finding it extremely offensive. When there is a case of alleged sexual harassment in the , we often find that people are very divided in judging the alleged behaviour and may have strong and opposing feelings when hearing what happened between two people. Some may say the alleged victim is being silly, or does not have a sense of humour, and this can also make the victim feel they should not “make a fuss”.

In formal processes such as court cases or arbitrations, the impact on the victim often trumps the intention of the perpetrator, in other words, the impact is more important than the intention. 11. Flight/fight/freeze response

A final thought on the issue of blaming and silencing the victim relates to the time directly after the incident. We know the response to something unexpected and unwelcome may be flight, fight or freeze. Many victims speak of their absolute shock at the time of the perpetrator’s inappropriate behaviour, and they simply freeze. They also often ask themselves: “Did he/she really just say that to me?”, “Did I really just hear that?” and then they often go on to question their role in causing the behaviour. Conclusion

Dealing with cases of sexual harassment can be complex and difficult and so it is recommended that identify and train people on the subject so that all people involved in a sexual harassment case can be treated fairly and with understanding.

Article authored by Dr Angela du Plessis