ELLEN GOODMAN At Large
Taking 'noj far an answer: the_ range of respanses from men
BOSTON- Two weeks ago, in writing about three separate rape convictions, including the New Be~d ford case, I noted that ::i new definition of rape was fmally taking hold of the public consciousness . Juries in three separate cases had determined that, ''If she says no, it's rape." In that column, I also asked whether that same change of mind was part of our daily lives. Rapists, after all, carne out of a culture in which men were supposed to persist and women were supposed to resist. Many men grew up believing that a woman could say one thing and mean another. Since then, I have heard from any number of men, both in private conversations and in the mail , relating their own experiences with the yes-no-maybes of sexual relations. One lawyer told me about the time he took no fo r an answer, only to discover later that she had wanted persuasion. Another friend was convinced that many of the negative messages he received were ac tually mixed. Three of the letters I received were in some ways typical of the response from many men, angry or thoughtful. One can1.e from a Virginia husband and father of two who wrote, "You are wrong when you assert that if she says no, it's rape. By your defmition, I could have been guilty of rape a dozen times or more. But ... all of these 'victims' went out with me again, and many remain warm friends. By fostering such a broad definition you water down the true meaning of the word. You are lumping 'Not tonight dear, I have a headache' into the same category as the truly violent and brutal rapes that do occur. " Another man in Miami tried to sort out the messages he had been dealing with since adolescence: "I, in no way, mean to excuse the all too-often brutal response men have to the demurring female. But honestly, young boys grow into men hearing of the sexual con quests of other males who 'didn't take no for an answer.' Quite often the gentler male is left to suffer through the exploits of another who 'scored' where he didn't .... That scenario of our male world is closer ro everyday experience than most of us like to admit." Finally, a retired 80-year-old Floridian sent in a sexual riddle of his youth: "Question: What is the difference between a diplomat and a lady? Answer: When a diplomat says 'yes,' he means 'perhaps.' When he says, 'perhaps,' he means 'no.'When he says 'no,' he's no diplomat. When a lady says 'no,' she means 'perhaps.' When she says 'perhaps,' she means 'yes.' When she says 'yes,' she's no lady: " These three responses are not isolated. They are messages along the continuum of ingrained beliefs and real-life experiences. They re tell the cultural story of the "forceful man" and the "reluctant lady." The Virginian is not the first man to believe he was rewarded for his aggressive pursuit of a demure dozen. The Miamian is not the first man to wonder if his gentleness was foolish, even unmanly. The rid dle was not the first teaching tool for ladies who might be foolish enough to risk their reputation with an eager "yes." I believe that the actual number of double-messages are exagger ated in men's minds. Nevertheless, not every woman who says no means it . Not every woman who means yes says it. The yes-no maybes of our culture can produce an elaborate courtship dance to refrains of uncertainty and frustration. But that doesn't mean that an ambivalent or even a coy woman is equally responsible for the atmosphere that ends in scenes of sexual pressure or date rape or barroom pool tables. After all, if a man ac cepts her "no," what harm has been done? There are no destructive consequences, no violence, no cries of rape. If "no" is ignored, though, a woman, even one who cares for the man, learns that what she says doesn't matter. That she doesn 't mat ter. At least not as much as the scoreboard. The consequences are enormously destructive. We seek a great many things in the act that we call making love. Approval and affection as well as sex. Making love can edge.eas ily in to a power struggle. But denial and force are not equally weighted in this struggle. There is, simply stated, much more harm in aggression. In the end, the man who doesn't take no for an answer is only prov ing one thing: that he can take. •
Ellen Goodman is a columnist for the Boston Globe and winner of the 1980 Pulitzer Prize for distinguished commentary. Rapes increase, ,homiG!des fall DETROIT - Rape and auto theft increased dra· matically during January and February, but homicidt and other major crimes were down, police said. Rape jumped 16.1 percent and auto theft 20.( percent. There also were increases in aggravatec assault, 6.3 percent, and larceny, 5.4 percent. Homicide dipped 19.2 percent. Robbery was dowr 6.8 percent, and burglary 19.6 percent. Overall majOJ crime dropped 1.0 percent. Chief William Hart said police can't take credit fo1 the homicide drop because "it's usually a famil) matter ... and it has a lot to do with the weather.' But he attributed the overall decrease to th community, police and news media "getting togethe to try to combat the problem of rape. This led t increased citizen awareness of crime." Many rapistS' linew victims By SANDY McCLURE Free Press Staff Writer Nearly half the women and children raped in Detroit during January and February were victimized by relatives or persons they knew, according to Detroit Police Department statistics. Relatives or acquaintances were in volved in 46 percent of the 346 assaul tive sex crimes, according to police. Police Chief William Hart said Tues· day that sex crimes allegedly commit- ted by family members or acquaint ances of the victims are "hard to deal ~ with" because family members are ashamed but not outraged enough to make full reports to police. Hart added: "This kind of thing will ··i go on for generation after generation unless it is stopped at some point. The way you stop it is to intervene."
OF THE 226 .Detroit sex crimes '. categorized as first-degree criminal sexual conduct, 100 cases, or 41 per· cent, involved relatives or acquaint , nces. First-degree criminal sexual assault mcludes sexual penetration and use of a ' ..• eapon, and sexual assaults on children ·: .·: ounger than 13, police said. · .. Of the 13 second-degree criminal ·• . - sexual conduct cases reported to police, ·· · 54 percent involved relatives or ac· .,· • • BUaintances. Second-degree assault in- ' , ~ eludes sexual contact, use of a weapon, ·•. ~ · orce or coercion resulting in injury. · Twenty eight - or 80 percent - of , • _ [he 35 third-degree criminal sexual con-· '. ; luct cases reported to police involved , . ictims who knew or were related to - . eir assailants. • Of the 23 fourth-degree criminal exual conduct cases reported, nearly a urth involved relatives or acquaint nces. If people are airaid that calling po ce will get family members in trouble, ey may call the Rape Counseling enter at 832-2530 for guidance any- me, Hart_s_a_id_. ___ ------MASS. TRIAL MAY HAVE BEEN SPUR Girl, 10, allegedly raped on pool table by boy, 12 By TODD HEATH pre-trial hearing was set for May 4 and Associated Press a trial for May 21. PROVIDENCE, R.I. - A 12-year Detective Stephen West said the old boy was arraigned Tuesday on attack came March 26, the same day charges that he sexually assaulted a girl 'four men were given sentences ranging on a pool table wpile other children from six to 12 years on charges of watched, and officials said he may have aggravated rape in Massachusetts. taken the idea from watching a Massa In that case, authorities said a wom chusetts gang-rape trial on television. an was held on a pool table and raped March 6, 1983, at Big Dan's Tavern in "The kid unfortunately watched too New Bedford, Mass., while other bar · much stuff on TV," said Ja\!k McMa customers watched. At Superior Court hon, head of the attorney general's ; trials in Fall River, Mass., two other juvenile prosecution unit. The girl who ' men were acquitted. allegedly was assaulted is 10. The trials were the focus .of national The unidentified Pawtucket youth attention and large segments were car- : pleaded not guilty to first-degree sexual ried live on Cable News Network. 1 assault in Family Court and was under According to West, the boy's mother going counseling voluntarily, McMa said her son saw some of the coverage. hon said. The boy has been released to It was unclear how much the boy saw his parents. or whether he watched the trial on the McMahon described the boy as Cable News Network or saw other TV "pint-sized at about four feet tall.'l A news reports. 1 ' • .RAPE ~ - Th~ city should leave no doubt ~bout its commitment to prevent this crime : THE HEAD OF a local rape counseling where demonstrate time and time again· ag'ency has charged the Young administra- that rape is crime where victims have to tion with failing to appreciate the agency's document their injuries and defend them 'mportance- an allegation tough to docu-' selves. A woman who does not vigorously ment but troubling all the same. Insensitiv- fight off a sexual assailant, or a score of 4ty to the trauma of rape does remain a assailants, remains suspect. A woman too ovexing problem in cities and towns frightened or numb to take advantage of an ~ hroughout America. escape route is considered to have submit • In a city such as Detroit, hard-pressed to ted to rape. A victim who has suffered a ~ eep police on the street and buses running, violent assault must suffer again in the .some services, without question, must be .courtroom and in her community and, educed. Althea Grant, director of Detroit's often, in dealing with her family. That is ~ ape Counseling Center, is upset because what makes rape so devastating, and the -she heads one of the agencies operating need to prevent it and reform our attitudes with inadequate staff. Whether or not Ms. toward it so great. Grant's agency has suffered more than In many respects, rape is the most others isn't really the issue. Whether or not distressing and personally degrading of he city deals consiste~tly with the problem crimes, as well as the most random. Women . pf rape is. , fear it in a way they seldom fear other sorts As people such as Althea Grant keep of assaults. The city demonstrated its abili eminding us, rape is a crime, too, just like ty to mobilize its resources to prevent rapes . heft and murder. Unlike many other: after a rash of schoolgirl assaults made ! ~r imes, though, its severity does not always headlines in Detroit. It must show the same seem to be recognized. , zeal, all the time, in rape apprehensions and CourJ~ cases here in .¥ichigan and else- prosecutions. KISSINGER EXPOSED USING STEREOTYPES though the rape metaphor is common, Nation could take the lead as a progres Kinnelon, N.J. Washington journal by recognizing the trauma of r; Christopher Hitchens's February 25 " Mi How depressing that so many Nation col In reality, one out of four women wil nority Report" is a most im portant piece, leagues should confuse the use of a sexually assaulted; the cartoon strike ~ not merely because it exposes Kissinger as a stereotype, ever as an artistic satire, with the women's genuine fears. Machiavellian, manipulative, self-aggrandiz reinforcement of a stereotype. The only safe The Nation is also perpetuating a viev, ing oligarch but because it reinforces a guard against such a literal mentality would women as victims. Is it O.K. to depi ct Vo' C quintessential reality: such men exist and be the adoption of t.he Islamic Code which, en's bodies in this manner because we thrive onl y because some of the rest of us are in order to be on the safe side, forbids all often powerless and ex ploir.ed? Perhap. depictions of the human body as profane. cursed with monumental gullibility. never crossed Levi ne's mi nd to have ~ Of course, David Le vine's accompanying The last sentence of their letter is just silly. singer sodomizing a man or raping a chi drawing says it all. Bravo, Nation! Christopher Hitchens Those are unacceptable and
CMU,.from Page 1A recognized as a studeni: organization because the group can't do things on advisers of the group had not taken the campus." adequate steps to control the behavior The 90-member organization, the of its members;" Hill said. largest of CMU's 1~ fraternities, has ~'Be said the punishment was stiff five days to appeal the deCision to the ' b€cause officials at the 16,900-student university. school have had "prior discussions with the fraternity and its national reps THE FRATERNITY, represented at concerning the behavior, and we had the hearing by Buckles and a member not observed any results regarding of the national organization, "did admit their behavior pattern." He also noted that some of their members took part" that the fraternity is on probation for in the harassment, Hill said. "But they serving alcohol to a minor. denied total group responsibility for HILL SAID he would make a re the action." Hill said the fraternity quest to the fraternity's national orga admitted raiding the sorority house and niz'ation. based in Richmond, Va., to destroying property. revoke the CMU Sig Ep's charter early In a statement issued Thursday next week. National fraternity repre night through Buckles, the fraternity sentatives could not be reached for said it did not "condone violation of comment. anyone's personal rights or the com John Buckles, the fraternity's new mission of any criminal act." president, would not comment Friday The statement referred to a "long on the sanctions. But he said the re tradition of excellence" of CMU's Sig quest by the university for charter Ep chapter. r~v0cation may not be heeded. "Unfortunately," it continued, "the . "Just because the university asked reputation of our fraternity, the entire doesn't mean it will be revoked," said Greek system, and Central MiChigan Buckles, 21, a senior from Charlotte. University as a whole has been tar "'As of right now, the national is 100 nished by allegations made against one percent behind us, and I know that will member and insinuations made about a continue." few others." Buckles said that even without rec Thomas Plachta, chief assistant ognition from the university, the fra prosecutor, has said that six other tetpity would have no trouble "keep women had brought complaints of sex ing up our manpower." ual assault against fraternity members · .But Hill disagreed, saying, "It's but dropped the charges because of rrtuch more difficult if they're not intimidation by Sig Ep members. Rapist· Victim Meetings OK'd By State Panel 1 By SUSAN GOLDBf./ ~Ifi $ Free Press Lansing Staff What do you think? . LANSING - Rape yictims will 0 Soundoff on Page 7A. · meet face-to-face with rapists and oth er sex criminals in an experimental program approved by the state Correc to the victim? Who's liable if something goes wrong? What if they can't ha~d l e tions Commission. it? " he said, summing up the feehn gs ' The controversial therapy sessions of most of the commissioners. will begin within a month at the 600- In the three earlier sessions, Van inmate Muskegon Correctional Facili dervelde said, he could see a change in ty. The c~mmission earlier this· week voted 3-2 to approve them. the attitudes of the men toward the Three such sessions were held at the victims, who were all women. prison earlier this year. When the BEFORE THE SESSIONS started, commission found out about them, the men, in counseling, would descri be they were ordered stopped until com their victims as "that b·-··" or say missioners could take up the matter. "'she was looking for it,' - the stan Such programs operate in a handful of dard stuff," Vandervelde said. other states. But during the confrontations, he said "several of the men got misty THE PROGRAM is designed to eyed and one was crying. One said, make sex offenders see the conse 'You could be my sister,"' Vander quences of their actions and to let velde said. victims express anger over what hap The women are volunteers who pened to them, said David Vander have had counseling at Every Woman's velde, a clinical psychologist at the ·Place, a rape crisis center in Mus~ egon. Muskegon prison. He will monitor the So far, said Diane Nye, co·ordmator session . _ of-the crisis center, seven women rang The sessions will be conducted for ing in age from 18 to 34 have partici two hours every three months, with pated in the three sessions, with two four to six victims confronting up to 10 participating in all three. All had been prisoners in a small room. A psycholo· raped. The most recent incident had gist, equipped with a hand-held ~!arm occurred several months before. device, and several counselors Will be Precautions will be taken to make present. A guard will be stationed sure no woman will face the man who nearby. raped her, Nye and Vandervelde sa ~d. State Corrections Director Robert "In all three groups," Nye said, Brown said he is "sort of mixed" on the "there was a man who committed a program. particularly vicious assault on a wom "Our whole concern is about the an - he injured her very badly - and victim. What's the potential for harm during one of the sessions he looked at the women and said, 'You women scare me. I thought it was the alcohol or t,he drugs that made me do it •. but. you r~ telling· me it was somethmg m me . There was silence after that remark," Nye said. . Vandervelde said he was surpnsed by the "warmth" the prisoners gave the women.
THE MAN DESCRIBED by Nye as having ·committed the "par.ticll:la~l y vicious" rape had attacked hi~ VIctim with a fireplace poker after rapmg her. She required 300 stiches. Nye said that during t~e sessions, the victims consistently hammered away" at making ~he r~pists face re I sponsibility for their actions - some· thing Vandervelde said many rapists do I not do. get out, know who I am and do it I again." g~ · YES, 45 percent: "It will help the I soundoff rapist see the consequences of his ~fllttl~ '1------'---' . actions." .. . "If they · can shoot them when they meet them." . . . Victims to meet rapists? "They need to be shown that the victims are real people and suffer Rape victims will meet rapists and real badly." other sex criminals in an experi Soundoff is a non-scientific, reader-opinion ment.al program approved by the feature. Percentages are based on 113 calls. state Corrections Commission. Do you think that is a good idea? Today's question: · The Great Lakes are at their highest NO, 55 percent: "Do they have any levels in years and are causing trou other stupid ideas on how to waste ble for lakefront owners and oth our tax money?" ... "There's no ers. (Story on Page lB.) Should the reason for ordinary women to have levels of the Great Lakes be con to deal with these low-IQ'd jerks trolled better? again." . .. "I would be afraid to Call before 2 p.m. to vote: face my rapist because they may YES - 222-8833 NO - 222-8844 The new odd couple
talie. their act on,~ TVI' I Until the morning coffee cleared lr-_5--,:.. ___, my head, I had the feeling I was watching one of those familiar TV tearjerkers when the brother and sister, put up for adoption as chil dren, are finally reunited as adults. The shy, sidelong glances, the tentative smiles, the stammering ef forts to describe their warm inner feelings. How touching. ducated college students shrieked But, of course, this was no broth about "the system" that had permit er and sister. It was the season's ted them to grow up in so much oddest media couple, finally face to comfort. But I haven't heard any face - Gary Dotson, who may or body rap "the system," whatever it may not be a rapist, and Cathy is, for a long time. And I was espe Webb, who definitely is a liar, the cially surprised to hear Gary blam only question being when. ing it for his stretch in the pokey. And what better setting for this Had there been a defender of "the long-awaited joint appearance than s~stem" on the show, it might have on the morning network shows - been pointed out to Gary that he the nation's common flea market for went to prison because a street books, movies, diets, sex advice, smart and bed-smart girl had con fitness fads, and an occasional rape vinced her foster parents, policemen, recantation. doctors, nurses, prosecutors, a jury and a judge that she had been raped -LIKE MUCH of curious America, and tortured by Gary. I sat through the interviews. And It was she, not any system, that once again Dotson managed to sound told a story so precise and convinc about as smart as your average ing - with physical evidence to oyster. When he was asked what he support it - that her original ver and Cathy had said to each other sion is still more believable than her during their private meeting the new, right-from-the-heart story. previous evening, he sort of blinked and said he couldn't remember. BUT I GUESS we can't expect TV - Now, most of us don't have total interviewers to think of everything. recall, but you would think that Or anything. It's also unfortunate when a guy finally confronts a wom that with both lawyers sitting right an who put him in prison for six there, nobody asked about the many years, he would have some foggy book and movie offers, and the con recollection of whether he said: "So, flict that seems to be arising. what's new, Cathy?" Cathy's lawyer now says that she Cathy, of course, has a remark will permit a movie only if it's about able memory, although it sometimes a young woman who did wrong, was seems to fade when fading is conve touched by the Lord, and set out to nient. So she did remember that make things right. That's inspiring, what she said to Gary was right from but it's not what turns on the film the heart. Which seemed to please makers. Inspiration is fine, but the Gary and provoke a gee-whiz grin. TV producers also go for those color And in one of his few moments of ful abdominal scratch marks and inner-revelation, Gary disclosed that some screams in the night. he thought that Cathy was now a Meanwhile, Dotson's lawyer - different person. The interviewer who can't pay his bills with Gary's didn't think to ask: "Different than eternal gratitude - has indicated when?" But TV interviewers are that Gary will go for whatever has a more eccustomed to interrogating price tag attached to it. And that movie actors about their diets. seems only fair. If he's as innocent One of them did ask an obvious and victimized as Cathy says he is, he question: Why Dotson seemed to feel' should be permitted to make a dollar so kindly toward the woman who or two, right? says her lies put him in prison for six As Cathy said, she owes him the years? Gary mumbled something to world. But I'm sure he would settle the effect that he had been angry, but for the six-figure fee that will come his anger was directed at "the sys from a juicy mini-series. tem." I hope · they can resolve their You might remember "the sys differences. But if they can't, we tem." It fell into great disrepute in might see them on TV again. Hey, the 1~60s, when overfed and overe- how about "People's Court"? Familiar faces attack women more often Study also shows drop in rape attempts UP! and AP WASHINGTON - Violent the data includes crimes that vic crimes against women in the Unit tims didn't report to the police. ed States are far more likely to be The study, covering 535,000 committed by a family member or women, found that women were lover than violent acts against men, victims of more than 2 million according to a Justice Department violent crimes between 1979 and report released Sunday. 1987, and 25 percent of those The report also showed that were committed by family mem the number of rapes and attempted bers or lovers. rapes of females was 14 percent An additional 27 percent of lower in 1987 than in 1973. The crimes sustained by women were survey estimated there were committed by other people the 137,509 rapes and attempted victims knew, and 44 percent were rapes in 1987, down from 159,890 committed by strangers. en who had been attacked by a in 1973. Among male violent crime vic family member or boyfriend said Caroline Wolf Harlow, who tims, only 4 percent were commit the violence they experienced had wrote the study, said most of the ted by family members or girl been part of a series of at least decline resulted from the drop in friends, 27 percent were three similar violent crimes that the number of attempted rapes. committed by friends or acquaint occurred within six months of the Criminologist Alfred Blumstein ances and 65 percent were com interview," Dillingham said. theorized that the decline could be mitted by strangers, the report The study found that 56 per attributed to heightened male sen showed. cent of the violent crimes against sitivity to concerns raised by wom Males were victims of about 4- women in 1987 were simple as en in the last 20 years. million violent crimes between saults, 22 percent were aggravat Only 53 percent of rapes or 1979 and 1987, the report found. ed assaults and 17 percent were attempted rapes are reported to "The violence women suffer is robberies. police, the study said. more frequently caused by people Twenty-one percent of the The information for the study with whom the victims have had a women attacked by family mem was collected from surveys of prior relationship than is the case bers or boyfriends said the offend 49,000 households conducted among men," said Steven Dil er used a weapon, about one-third twice a year by the department's lingham, director of the Justice of which were guns. National Crime Survey. It's consid Department's Bureau of Justice Twenty percent of the women ered a more reliable indicator of Statistics. attacked by a relative or boyfriend r.rimP. than FRT statistics ! Pc.ausP. "Almost one in five of the woml said they resisted the offender. Marquis' criminal opinion on rape live~ qb~ Clayton Williams, the Republican candidate for governor Feminists have made important progress in convincing in Texas, tried to laugh off his comment on bad weather at a people that rape is no laughing matter - progress that rally- that it was like rape: "If it's inevitable, just relax and Williams' defenders are helping to .undo. Men have not enjoy it." That, we are told by Patrick Buchanan, is just an recognized how much of women's lives is circumscribed by old saying. Who can get upset by it? the fear of rape. From childhood, there are places they Yes, it is an old saying, like the cannot go alone, hours when they must limit their mobility, GARRY other one: "They really want it." behavior they must inhibit lest they be accused of "asking WI US That old saying had the strenuous for it." · endorsement of the Marquis de Sade, The burden of proof in rape cases has oft~n been with the who glorified rape as a way of doing woman who suffers, not with the man who inflicts the women a favor. But, in case a woman resists (or pretends to), Sade said that men have a right to their plea sure, guaranteed by nature: "Has not en have not recognized nature proved to us that we have this M how much of women's right, by allotting us the strength necessary to force them to our de lives is circumscribed by the sires?" That is from the Marquis' ''Philos fear of rape. ophy in the Bedroom," which also contains this general rule on the suffering. Snickers and knowing remarks follow even on the subject: "I have no right to the attempt to report a rape. ownership of the fountain that lies in my path, but I certainly Clayton Williams is not a sadist in the normal sense. He is have the right to make use of it. I have t4e right to enjoy the undoubtedly a decent enough fellow, however anachronistic ~mpid water offered up to my thirst; in the same way I have his thinking. But his remark - by giving people the ~6 actual claim to the possession of such and such a woman, occasion to defend it, to belittle its critics, to say we should but I have an incontestable one to the enjoyment of her, and not get worked up by womanish anxieties - helps in its 1have the right to force her to this enjoyment if she refuses lame way to keep alive the criminal counsel of the Marquis ine for any motive whatsoever." himself. They say politics make strange bedfellows. Sade . . Sade was more explicit than those who have acted on his and Clayton Williams are among the stranger. "' tnaxims throughout history; but, in various diluted forms, ; his has been all-too-common an attitude. Universal Press Svndicale J ~ . 6~ D~TR~IJ FREE PRESS/ : FRIDAY, MARCH 22, 1991 e e
Rapes in 1990 exceed 100,000 ASHINGTON More women were raped in 1990 than any year in U.S. history, exceeding 100,000 for the first time, according to a report by the Senate Judiciary Committee released Thursday. Police identified 100,433 rapes - or nearly 300 every day - shattering the previous record of 94,504 in 1989. • With 6,983, Michigan placed in the top five states reporting the most rapes in 1990. The others were: California, 12,413; :rexas, 8,427; Florida, 6,874; __ ...... _..._and New York, 5,315. 'victed rapist's punishment for a , year to see if he could behave him Unfortunately, rape is still a crime too many people shrug off· self? Remember the judge who ac , cused a 5-year-old girl of seducing espite city gang wars man might do after seeing a short out alone? her attacker? , and Medicaid cuts, skirt. Perhaps. The deeper problem, Many people still believe rape . I'm wearing a grin to- If you don't think this is a seri- . though, is that rape remains a ·victims bring it on themselves by · D day. David Caballero ous problem, you haven't been crime too many people shrug off. flirting or by failing to fight back. will go to jail. paying attention. Take the Caballero case. The · Many people still believe rape is In 1990, Michigan had the original judge in the case, Charles just a sex crime, a moment or two Caballero, you may recall, is third highest number of reported Stark, said he didn't think Cabal- of pleasure, not a genuine assault. ·the convicted rapist who was rapes in the nation, according to a lero deserved to be sent to prison They don't understand that a placed on probation so he could congressional report. for forcing his way into a girl's ·rapist is a man driven by frustra- continue studying to become a · There were 6,938 reported dorm and raping her. "There- tion and anger, not sexual desire, cop. rapes in Michigan in 1990, com- wasn't any slugging, there wasn't to hurt, maim and sometimes kill pared with 6,624 a year earlier. any threat," Stark told a reporter. women, even babies, even women :: Betty After widespread protests, his Some of this increase stems Fortunately, Atty. Gen. Frank in their 90s, even women at home E. case was bounced back to the from more women finding the Kelley's office managed to get the in their beds. ! courts. He was resentenced Fri- courage to come forward and case bounced back to the courts They don't see that rape vic- "- DeRAMUS day in. Sau~t SteS.Marie to 3-15 name their attackers. :for a new sentence. Fortunately, tims end up with bruised bodies ~..~ years m pnson. o why is the con- However, experts think the ac- ·Caballero is no longer likely to be- ·and battered spirits. .. viction of one 23-year-old man tual number of sexual assaults is come a police officer who believes Rape is still the crime that gets z Isuch a victory? rising, too. But why? 'he's above the law. ' no respect, the crime for which J I'd like to think it's a major Are sex-crammed videos and Judge Stark isn't the only ju- the victim is too often slammed. ., :step toward the day when rape . songs glorifying rape to blame? rist who has given the impression Sending David Caballero to jail ~ will be treated as a vicious crime, 'Are more women exposing them- ' he takes rape lightly. Remember won't change all of that, but I'd c ...... not so:m~thin~ any red-blooded selve~ to potential rapists by going i the judge who suspended a con- ! sure like to think it helps. :~ Bill seeks judicial rights ~~;w~f~ rb:~~~;~ · WASHINGTON ~~ Katie enter any dormitory but his own Koestner was three weeks into her for four years, but was allowed to freshman year at the College of remain in school. William and Mary when she was Angered, Koestner said, she raped by a classmate. The col- then went to a prosecutor but was lege's judicial system found her told it was too late to gather key attacker guilty, but he was allowed evidence for a possible criminal to remain in school. case. "I see his face almost every A spokesman for William and day," Koestner, 18, said Tuesday Mary was unavailable for com- , during a Capitol Hill news confer- ment. ence on legislation that would In a similar case at Central : guarantee campus rape victims the Michigan University in Mt. Pleas- · right to have criminal authorities ant, a student was suspended after ; investigate their case. CMU found he had violated the : The bill, introduced by Rep. Jim student code of conduct in an al- : Ramstad, R-Minn., would require leged November 1989 campus : colleges to help obtain evidence for rape. The student, a former bas- • victims, assist in testing suspects ketball player, reti.uned to school • for communicable diseases and last fall with his scholarship intact. , provide victims with campus men- The woman who said he had ' tal health and counseling services. raped her has since filed a civil suit. Schools that did not comply could In another case cited Tuesday, : lose federal funding. a 22-year-old senior af Carleton • Supporters of the bill said too College in Northfield, Minn., was · many schools handle sexual assault raped by a classmate in her fresh cases internally, hoping to save man year and filed a complaint their rep~tations among alumni, under the student code. ; donors and prospective students. The judiciary board suspended '; Usually,thereisnopublicreportof him for one year, but the. woman , the incident or the identity of the sued the college because It would assailant. not impose a stiffer penalty. Her . Koestner said administrators at lawsuit, which is pending, charges William and Mary, in Williamsburg, the college with negligently failing · Va., advised her to pursue her case to prote '. BY ROBERT MUSIAL, JOHN CASTINE new police chief, joseph Vago. various sexual acts during a six-hour AND DENNIS NIEMIEC period, the accounts said. Free Press Staff Writers The four men were charged earlier Tuesday with criminal sexual conduct. Vago allegedly pointed a bow anq; Prosecutors and police said they Besides Vago, Michael Stout, 20, Ken arrow at the woman's head and heLd ~-! would continue to investigate an al neth Snodgrass and Mark Stout, both steak knife near her face. According to leged gang rape case in Lincoln Park 18, were charged. police, Michael Stout aimed a rifle at ; even though the 17 -year-old victim her head and said: "I'm going to kill you , Tuesday night asked that the charges "This doesn't automatically mean so don't go to the cops." ' be dropped. the case ends," Assistant Wayne Coun An anonymous caller alerted polic ' "It's our intention to go forward. ty Prosecutor Dick Padzieski said to the incident about 4 a.m. Sunda¥;>- ~ Tuesday night. We want to prosecute the case," Police Joseph Vago declined comment. :;~ Sgt. David Ames said Tuesday night. According to police and witness District judge David Bajorek s'et ' Ames said the woman called him at accounts, the woman and a female bond for Vago, Snodgrass and Mich<~.~k 5:30 p.m. Tuesday to say she wanted acquaintance went to Snodgrass' home Stout at $100,000 cash and at $50,000. to drop the charges against four Lin Saturday night. After the acquaintance cash for Mark Stout. They were bei!Iit' coln Park men, including Michael left, the four men repeatedly assaulted held in the Wayne County jail on·• Vago, the 20-year-old son of the city's the woman and forced her to perform Tuesday night. ·~~·-' 20 years of activism on behalf of women BY MARJ JACKSON LEVIN BenDor will be one of eight women induct trying to reform laws to improve treat Free Press Staff Writer ed into the Michigan Women's Hall of ment of victims," says Mary Ann Largen. an BenDor didn't have a lot of experi Fame on Oct. 26 in Lansing. (Among She's executive director for the National , ence as a sexual assault counselor others who helped change the criminal Network for Victims of Sexual Assault, a when she established the first wom sexual conduct laws in the state is fellow public policy organization in Washington, en's crisis center in the state, but she Hall of Fame honoree Virginia Cecile D.C., and has worked with BenDor over quickly learned a crucial lesson about Blomer Nordby. See story at right.) the years. J "jan has been a role model for many "She's succeeded in all those areas," women and violence. women in this country who were seeking "We learned that women's fear of . services for victims of sexual assault, or See ACTMSM, Page 3E violence kept them second-class citizens," she says. "And it still does." That's why BenDor laments the slip page of the feminist l]:lovement during the '80s. And it's why the Superior Township woman, 45, believes her two decades of political activism must continue. So far she's had dramatic results. In 1971, as a graduate student at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor, she established the Women's Crisis Center to address the needs of victims of sexual assault, one of the first in the nation. As student feminists graduated, they carried the idea with them. Today more than 350 rape crisis centers are operating nationwide. "Feminist minds think alike," BenDor says. "I'm proud we fueled the movement." She also lobbied with other feminists to reform the criminal sexual conduct laws in Michigan, broadening the definition of rape and to making the law more sensitive to victims. Other states have followed suit. HUGH GRP,.NNUM/ Detroit Free Press In recognition of her accomplishments, Jan BenDor helped est;J>Jlish Michigan's first women's crisis center. 20 years of activism ACTMSM, from Page IE says. Everyone who worked at the center Largen says. "Michigan became the volunteered their time. "There was no first state in the country which under- government funding then," says Ben took major criminal law reform in this Dor. She helped change that situation, area, because of her. In all the years too, lobbying to get government fund Top row, from left: l've known her she's never really let ing for women's crisis issues. Mary Beck, Rachel down. She keeps the long view in BenDor has addressed hundreds of Andresen, Dorothy mind." workshops on rape prevention in Mich- BenDor, who is now operations igan and elsewhere. After earning her Comstock Riley, manager of the Career Services Cen- master's degree in social psychiatry, Janet Good. Second ter at Eastern Michigan University, she practiced as a feminist therapist for row, from left: Jo says an early teenage experience more than 10 years. She has been Jacobs, Virginia caused her to focus on sexual assault married for 21 years to Michael David Blomer Nordby, issues. Believing she was going to a BenDor, a high school teache~ in the Harold Hood. party with a group of acquaintances, Ypsilanti school system, and has two she was driven to an isolated farm- sons, 7 and 12, who she says are house instead. The older crowd began "feminist young men" capable of in drinking. And then the trouble began. stantly spotting sexism in TV commer- 8 others win Hall of Fame honors "Alcohol releases violence," Ben- cials. HALL, from Page IE of the office for sex equity in education Dor says. "I thought I was going to be . Feminists must keep up the fight, with the Michigan Department of Edu-, gang-raped. I barely was able to climb she says. While some statistics indicate Common Council, in 1949. Served 20 cation. Leader on issues affecting out of a window. I felt I was running for · the rate of other violent crimes has years and was the council's first female women in education, child care, teen my life. It had a long-term scarring dropped, violence against women president. Beck, a lawyer, also initiated pregnancy, poverty, domestic assault, effect." keeps escalating, Be nD or says. the Youth Commission in Detroit and sexual harassment and appointment of Like many victims, she feared she Equally threatening to women's made it an official arm of the city. women to public boards. would be blamed for just being there. rights, BenDor says, are conservative •Rachel J. Andresen, (1907-1988), • Virginia Cecile Blomer Nordby, For years she kept the trauma to political challenges. South Lyon. Founded the high school Ann Arbor. Principal drafter of the herself. Her anger remained buried. In 1975, when BenDor asked Susan foreign exchange program Youth for Michigan Criminal Sexual Conduct The.n,. wbe~ Ben~or was in her 2~s, Brownmiller _ author of one of the Understanding in 1951. Directed in Act, Public Act 266 of 1974, which feffilillst philosophies and other social first comprehensive books on rape ternational student exchange pro clarified levels of criminal sexual con changes he!ped her op~n up. "Pe~ple , ("Against Our Will," Simon & Schus grams with 24 countries. Nominated duct. It prohibited questioning of the started talking about this taboo subject ter) _how long Brownmiller thought for Nobel Peace Prize in 1971. sexual history of victims and facilitated tha~. was no lo?ger taboo. it would take for violence against wom- the prosecution of rapists. Also super 1 tapped rnto that source of an- en to change Brownmiller replied: CONTEMPORARY DIVISION: vised analysis of Michigan statutes to ger," she sa~s: "It was lo~~ overdue, "100 years might do it." • Dorothy Comstock Riley, Detroit. identify those with gender-based dif and I turned It rnto energy. She and a "I've been swimming and jogging to First woman to serve on the Michigan ferences. Now associate vice president group of fellow feminists discovered, try to last long enough," BenDor says Court of Appeals (appointed in 1976, for student services at the University however, that Washten~w County had today. "Real change, I kr , t1! • SATURDAY, OCTOBER 10, 1992/DETROIT FREE PRESS 5A Condom use saves man from rape indictment Associated Press Valdez told police he had sex with that Valdez remains jailed, but said the. AUSTIN, Texas - A grand jury the woman after hiding in her apart incident has turned her life upside· declined to indict a man on rape ment. The woman said she asked the down. She moved from her home and· charges because he agreed to his al stranger, who was carrying a knife, to has spread her belongings and pets• leged victim's request to use a condom wear the condom because she wanted among friends. She also plans to buy a during the assault. protection from sexually transmitted gun. In a report published Friday by the diseases. "No one is ever going to touch me Austin American Statesman newspa Prosecutors wouldn't discuss the again. I'd rather be dead than go· per, the woman expressed outrage grand jury's reasons in its Sept. 30 through this again," she said. over the grand jury's Sept. 30 decision. decision. Lynn Thompson Haas, executive After the decision, police filed a director of the Austin Rape Crisis "I was raped by a man and now I'm burglary charge against Valdez stem Center, said: "It's really unfortunate' being raped by society," the woman ming from his entry into the woman's for her because she was able to protect ,said. .apartment. He remained jailed Friday herself. Now, that protection is being The suspect, 27-year-old]oel Rene with bail set at $10,000. used against her. Just because she Valdez, said the woman consented to Valdez said he resents the new asked not to be hurt doesn't mean she's· having sex. "She's the one who gave charge. "When they told me burglary, I consenting. me the condoms. If she didn't want to, couldn't believe it," he said from jail. "I "Wijere could this lead? If a victim· why would she give me the condoms?" don't think that's right." makes any request, is it consent? It sets he said. The woman said she feels relieved a dangerous precedent." RAPE JUDGMENT OUTCRY ~ . Prosecutor again seeks indictment; Texas victim suggested condom BY ROSS E. MILLOY of protest in Austin, a liberal bastion in they intend to bring the case before a New York Times a conservative state. new grand jury this week - only the AUSTIN, Texas - When an Austin On Sept. 30, a grand jury of seven third time since 1976 that the Travis woman found herself facing a knife women and five men, without explana County district attorney, Ronnie Earle, wielding intruder demanding sex last tion, refused to indict the accused has taken such a step. month, she talked him into wearing a attacker, Joel Rene Valdez, a 27-year The woman's lawyer, Mark condom to protect against disease. old house painter. One participant later Mueller, who spoke only on the condi "Don't worry," he told her. "I don't said that some jurors believed the tion that his client not be identified, have AIDS." She replied, "How do you woman's act of self-protection might gave this account of what happened in know I don't?" · have implied her consent. the early morning of Sept. 17: + , The man said he didn't have any The grand jury's action has infuriat The woman, a25-year-old artist; condoms, so the woman gave him one ed women's rights groups, baffled law returned home froin a party about 2:45, · and they had sex. yers on both sides, and raised a raft of a.m. and went to bed. Alarmed by her' That much is undisputed in state issues involving rape, consent and self barking dog, she switched on a lamp ments from the man and woman. But protection in the age of AIDS. what follr wed has touched off a storm Prosecutors were so surprised that See RAPE, Page SA ------